Sad Boyz - The $200 Starbucks Cup

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

Check out our 40+ bonus eps on Patreon: ⁠⁠Patreon.com/sadboyz⁠⁠ Watch our LIVE SHOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/sadboyz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/shop⁠⁠⁠ ⏯️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Watch us on youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⏯️ ✨follow us✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  📺main channels📺  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jarvis⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jordan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ✨follow jordan✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ✨follow jarvis✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  🎶outro music🎶 @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank

Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. Yeah, that was, that hit. I liked that one. That was punchy. Yeah, I tried to fiddle with the cadence a little bit. Howdy, I'm Jordan. Karate, like a western guy. I saw a comment that was like, Jordan's never confident in the intro and that's like his bit. And it is. We're calling it a bit and that's like his bit and it is that's we're calling it a bit that's funny you know it you know it is honestly it's a uh i'm excited to see how you do it i forget that i'm a part of it right every time because it is i i think that's like you're like yeah cool that's

like a really old episode where i remember talking about how i wanted to reduce doing too much of a bit in the intro with my name because i feel like right i don't want to be too much of a goofball all the time but if i do i'm doing a bit with my name it's a it's like that insurance parachute that comes out if the other one doesn't right or that parachute that shoots out of like a speed racer is going too quickly. It's an emergency shoot. Right. Well, I'm fucking up,

but the debt, the embarrassing dead air. Yeah, that's true. Dead air is embarrassing. I do. Moment of silence for dead air. Any of your service.

How's it going? All right. How the hell the hell are you how how are you hanging dog you gotta calm you gotta calm down man you're being insane dude what's freaking capping crap his nose is bleeding uh my ninja all right relax um sorry man i'm uh little little ebbing low ebb oh i feel that no i feel that big time i canceled our recording yesterday because i was on a low ebb it was honestly greatly appreciated yeah because i slept i would have missed it by sleeping. Right. I've been sleeping real fucked up. Oh, yeah. Six yesterday. I have not slept. Because it just, I can't. I was up for six hours.

Someone's going to make a super cut of this and then we're going to send it to your doctor. Oh, no. He's got bigger priorities specifically. He's focused primarily on the, well, we don't need to get into the condition. Oh, no. He's got to take a break from just the... Oh, wait, hold on. My phone's buzzing.

What the hell? It must be your doctor, then. No, it's yours. It's your phone that's buzzing. That's what he said. I know. He says, I can't... I think you guys are doing the show.

Right. So I'd message you, Jarvis, just so that you could... Because, you know, Jordan doesn't like to interrupt the show with text messages, but Jarvis doesn't mind. That's about your bed to seize.

Come on. I was thrilled that maybe you wouldn't mention it. No, he says, I know I'm breaking HIPAA for this, but the truth is out there. Hey, man, I mean, the seal's broken on his malpractice at this point. It's the weekly event, I feel like. Sometimes on the Patreon as well. Yeah, I think he's kind of like a freelancer doctor now.

He no longer has a practice. on the patreon as well yeah i think he's kind of like a freelancer doctor now he doesn't he no longer has a practice he's been shut down by the the fcc the cia naacp tba and the aarp not to mention triple a for whatever reason i mean to be fair i've never seen him in a hospital or a practice and i've never seen him yeah he calls primarily received text messages and calls mainly to whoever isn't his client right anyone who's within earshot that's not the person that he needs to talk to he's always talking to that would be if one of us gets a real butt disease that bit if the bit ever goes away that's why yeah it's because one of us yeah if a moment passes and we're not talking

about butt disease it's because one of us is contracted kind of a more serious version of the butt disease we already have we can make it part of the canon that that's why i said yeah we just said that some people know we have a little monitor that sits in front of us to remind us things check up on the time sometimes j Sometimes Jacob will write us a message just saying, hello. He'll say, I want to go home. Stop recording. Pay me one time, please. Please, just this once.

But I asked for our main cam real briefly so that I could consciously choose a way to sit. And then we started recording. And my leg started doing what it's doing now yeah like a like there's the venom symbiote my question is like at when you're at home do you think it's just like an on-camera thing no it's devastating if i'm at home it's like the double split uh the double slit experiment in quantum mechanics where like um you know a light uh can behave as both a particle and a wave depending on the situation and so like

when there's an observer aka you've got camera on you your body just acts in unpredictable ways yeah i am your body acts as a wave and a particle and my sitting functions differently when i'm observed yeah it's true schrodinger's boy schrodinger's legs uh but it is always jacked up no man i mean i think the live show i was a little more conscious of it but even then as guests came out it was it you know what it's like it's like watching one of those montages of a flower dying where it's like happening in fast motion like a prey in nature dissolving or something yeah oh that that shot of the buildings exploding that's always in montages of war and so right and it's like what war are you talking about the hell is this um it's like an exploit it's like the roman empire collapsing and it's like 9-11 it's like this is unrelated b-roll

taking along it's been a little while since we did the show it has been it's a new year now new year new us happy i changed everything about myself will it still be my name is george well oh do with your drug my name is george orwell you're british now yeah thanks for bringing up 1984 because i've been watching some pretty uh badass unwoke stand-up specials and we're essentially living in 1994 i haven't read the 1994 i did rent we are living in 1994 n I haven't read the book. 1994? I did rent the movie. We are living in 1994. Nirvana's Nevermind is topping the charts.

Is that the right year for that? Okay. Might still top the charts in 94. You appeared circa 1992, yes. That's true. My ass, 94. 1990, true. Hey, dude.

Calm down, okay? Bars. That's true. My ass, 94. 1990, true. Hey, dude. Calm down, okay? Bars. It was 1991. Well, in a rare resurgence three years later, Nirvana's, never mind, top the charts, 1994. And Jarvis technically defeated Anastasia on Price is Right rules. You got, you were in the Epstein fly locks. Come on. I was the pilot.

Yeah, I was just doing it for base jumping, though. Yeah. You were just there for fun. Yeah. I was in the Epstein fight logs. Oh. Oh. I was trying to fight him.

Right. And then he told me we don't talk about flight club. Yeah. That's true. Which is why you won't hear me talking about it. Dude, that, I mean For context that happened yesterday Versus this is still coming out in 2024 Right this episode

We're lucky Somebody's not editing very quickly Jacob We like to leave a few subtle nods That we don't like Jacob's work Bad job Jacob Put a text on screen Make it loud

What could that possibly mean we're helping him read through the lines easter eggs for the big fans let's just say we don't like him if you catch my bad it's fine he's laughing no he's good we don't have a job unfortunately he's a flawless human being and it makes us mad that's why we make up a reality where he's making mistakes and then we're good and we sit normal and we're good and normal and fine and we weren't on the fight log uh you bet the flight log just wake up babe new flight log just dropped everyone was the the flight log is like a 900 page document or 900 pages of documents and the funniest thing to me not the funny no none of it's funny by the way they're like real horrible crimes and victims

involved but uh it is fascinating it is fascinating and it's made a certain corner of the internet go cuckoo bananas for cocoa puffs and one of the weird things that happened is there's this show on ESPN. There's this new ESPN host who's like more paid than like every other on-camera talent on ESPN history named Pat McAfee. And then ESPN like hired him for like a bajillion, bajillion

dollars and then fired a bunch of their like on-camera talent. And then everybody was upset about it. But he had on Aaron Rogers. I think he has like a thing with aaron rogers you know like they're buds or whatever and aaron rogers hits the jab who what's wild is that aaron rogers was a world famous and beloved football player um but then he decided that like being an anti-vaxxer was his favorite thing a position which is like you can do a lot of weird shit yeah stay in the nfl they're like pretty unless you kneel yeah that's true what you can do is

there's one weird thing nfl owners hate this one weird trick you can't be black too loudly yeah if you integrate and like i don't know get like a very cool loudly yeah it's a silent protest well a silent practice is too loud for the nfl maybe he's just tired come on why does nobody ask yeah the um nfl owners have like uh they have like a hypersonic like like uh headphones they're listening to it's like oh i hear a kneel i heard a knee sound signature of a kneel it's like the Richter scale for social justice. Oh, no. Someone said BLM. Get him. That was a 6.1.

But Aaron Rodgers, he like, I think he, we may have even talked about this ages ago, but I remember back around COVID times, he like refused. So back when all the sports were returning, he like refused to get vaccinated and said, I've been immunized or something like that or something. And then I think now he's just the power of football. I think now he's got a little bit mask off, a little helmet off, maybe a little, you know, unintentional CTE joke, actually. Football, dangerous sport. Anyway, we should make teens play it. Yeah, I actually.

Yeah, my kid will never play football. it yeah i actually yeah my kid will never play football too much bumping my kid will never play football too scared yeah uh pathetic but anyway vegeta adika is a pathetic child one of the wildest things i saw was before the epstein stuff came out um the new stuff the epstein just dropped um i was a fan of the old stuff sorry i'm doing like word association and it's i'm not going forward with my thoughts anyway um he was on pat mcafee's show and then he was like i'm gonna pop some sort of bottle when uh jimmy kimmel comes out as being a part of that or like the actual quote is similar to that i'm like not quoting it but he did say i'm gonna pop some sort of bottle and he's like jimmy kimmel's

not gonna be excited about this randomly mentions jimmy kimmel and then who has some light pre-existing beef because kimmel wrote has roasted for the back yeah i guess so two years ago. And so the thing, where I'm going with this is that, so then Jimmy Kimmel responded and he was like, hey, asshole spelled with two A's like Aaron, which I thought was a little, all right. But anyway. The staff could have helped you on that one. Yeah. Anyway, he called him out for it. And then he's like, I have nothing to do with that man. I don't know why you're insinuating that I had something to do with Jeffrey Epstein.

I don't know if Jimmy Kimmel has anything to do with Epstein, but I do know that he's like not mentioned in any of these documents. Or any anecdotal evidence. Or any anecdotal evidence or photo evidence. I guess it's as likely as anyone in the world. Alan Dershowitz is like, I must have been mistakenly mentioned 137 times in the document. Oopsie daisy. I remember every time I would go there, I would sign the flight log with my penis. And then people are like, hmm, sus, but I'll hear him out.

Have you seen the photos of the flight logs? It'll be like a bunch of like chicken scratch and initials. It'd be like AABB, Alan Dershowitz. It's like written in caps. The Dershowitz it's like kind of crazy and then there's like a photo realistic sketch of him next to it doing a thumbs up I'm on the island now I know it's crazy but um I'm on island time but uh the where I was going with this is that people on Twitter, or X, they're Photoshopping fake. They're passing around an image that has Jimmy Kimmel

in one of the victim testimonies. And it's like, what are you doing? You would think these people care about truth, justice in the American way. But they're just passing around like a clearly Photoshopped thing that includes Jimmy Kimmel. And then no one checks the source. And this is how like misinformation spreads. And it's wild that that happens.

If you open software to edit something, however much time that takes for you, to edit even a semi-convincing image of jimmy kimmel's name in the flight and it's text and like career news so it's like so easy to like photoshop it because it's like a very popular font it's like easily recognizable just play ball this game i don't know do anything else but the thing is, the sad reality with X is that Elon has monetized misinformation. Antisocial. So what? You said he's funny.

You said he's funny and you like his memes. No, he's hot is what I said. Oh, he's hot. He has pretty privilege. You sent me, yeah, you sent me a, he's also neuro's also neurodivergent a minor yeah so he should be left alone um yeah you sent me a photo of like a lol cat or whatever that he uh that he sent you and you said wow what a funny little guy what a small bean i said me thinks this is epic yeah and i uh i obviously well i replied in uh i can has cheeseburger style language with a velociraptor meme oh right yeah the hmm or that one of those uh patronizing wonka or whatever

yeah the uh but i'm using it what's the penguin that's going two different ways oh socially awkward penguin oh he is socially awkward dude um we've ended my my domain my newgrounds training has prepared me for this but yeah so uh elon has like utterly like twitter was bad before like twitter was the worst social media before but he has somehow taken it to a new cesspool high score yeah because it was just bad because it was all of the people and there is a poor moderation with all of the people is bad he's simultaneously first he monetized the worst people because he um created twitter blue and then prioritized the replies so now you have to see like annoying uh elon stans the worst joke and reply to yeah and then and look and i'll say it I'm pro sex work, but there is this unhinged behavior of like mcn type thing but it will take it will like

use ai to take like the subject of or maybe it's a real person but i just doubt it to take the subject of the thing and then insert it into the conversation so it could be like a dead person and then they'll be like i was last seen with this dead person click click on my profile and i'm like okay i've got something you can bury it's like i i support i support your uh ability to do your work what i will criticize is this manner of uh advertising is like extremely on like not even uncouth but just like um messed up yeah just sinister yeah it's like sinister you don't exist yeah a lot of it's like ai profiles or like fake that like that's too where it gets into it because it's like you have to separate like the real people from like the um the bots and and bot farms and people who are stealing other people's content i mean i literally i cannot tweet not even a reply without a blurred photo and somebody called like you know

katie ll x y yeah and then hey what you doing tonight blurred photo yeah five or six of them and i'm just like this is odd it's it's it's weird because um it's like a pretty commonly like like no one's no one's a fan of it but it's uh because what i'm also not a fan of is the like the when when a real person replies to something like if they uh like usually like what these these accounts they are bots because they like reply like um thousands of times like within like minutes or whatever but um the people who are like actual human beings behind a keyboard like if you just happen to be a sex worker and you like comment on something then everybody's like no one wants to buy her they'll be like i liked this movie reply

no one wants to buy your only fans okay god forbid you ratio an annoying person yeah that's that's like not what we're talking about here this is literally like um it's like i was with alan dershowitz come see my only fans it's like what is going on slow down or like it gets in the it gets in the thing of like being insensitive to victims because it's like so um cut and paste like it's like that's why i don't think it's a real person like doing these types of yeah they read like uh sales email formatting yeah yeah and so it's then it's those i create a name or if there's a viral post on like um disturbing videos and it's like the last thing joe saw before his uh uh air balloon popped or whatever you know what i mean like joe barton i can inflate something with you yeah Yeah. See, I should write these. And then all the replies will be like,

oddly fascinating video of the construction of an air balloon. And then just a bunch of unrelated things. And there's one guy going, I'm tired of how, it's a copy pasta of like, I'm tired of how the replies aren't even the replies anymore. And it's all these people playing this game to get as many impressions as possible. It's exhausting. It's like so frustrating.

Most good tweets are good because the replies are funny. I know. And now it is genuinely, dude, it's pulling teeth to scroll through so many. This, you really went nuts with this one you chose violence today crying laughing emoji crying laughing emoji and also uh nobody wants to buy your only fans yeah it's like not even oh also they'll do that reply to just an account they think is a woman like that doesn't even have an only fans this doesn't matter which you know it's just like inherently bad if you do or don't actually rife core it's like uh it's like

your mom buys your christmas presents with all her money from only fans except for she doesn't do only fans and also you're replying to a six-year-old I think about that all the time. I think about just, it's, you are a comic. Like, I mean, even Jimmy Kimmel's reply to Aaron Rodgers, it was just, he just needed more time to cook.

It was a little too soy. It was a little too, just like, well, I'll see you in court, sir. Yeah. Like,

hey, hey, slow down. He really wanted to stand on stand on business but he's like 65 years old or whatever wait how old is jimmy kevil he's getting up there uh he's 90 years old christ yeah yeah 90s he's 56 56 65 56 uh spoonerism 90 upside down 6 0 no number could be any number Leave a comment In the description guessing his name

His name Jeremy Karma Oh gosh How are you doing What's up I mean New year new me new, new face, new name, new identity.

George, yeah. New balance. So far, bad me. Bad new me. Need a new body. Need a new identity. New him, can't talk. I'm all right.

I want to be like a, ha, I'm getting out there. It's the new year. It's 2024. I'm about to do all the stuff, dude. I'm going to lift a rock. Dude, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to run up a hill. Oh, fuck, a rock. It's rolling down the hill.

You want to siss it? And then I'm going to go back up. And then I'm going to say, no, no, no. I'm picking up sissy? And then I'm going to go back up. And then I'm going to say, no, no, no. I'm picking up the rock. And then I'm going to go. And then my head's so slippy. Oh, no. Why did I oil myself up before I did this?

2024 is here. And my new resolution is for Zeus to place me inside a tree and have a raven pull my guts out every single day. I'm just saying some of you guys don't want to work anymore i'm quiet quitting people don't want to rise and grind anymore dude no one wants to hold up the globe every single day for eternity yeah dude mr beast video mr um i held up the biggest globe the biggest globe i found the biggest planet in our solar system. I found somebody online that was willing to every single day of their life do one of Hercules' labors. Right.

It's like, I shipped off two random fans to Mars. And whoever comes back alive gets $9 billion. Getting no equipment. Yeah. Both instantaneously die. One of the guys is like i'm a former nasa engineer i think i'll be able to manufacture some sort of spacecraft that could hopefully get myself through uh back through earth's atmosphere and i'm six and i won half yeah and he's like and i love mr beast now do you think little johnny or uh admiral robert space lord space lord robert dirt inventor of space Or Admiral Robert... Space Lord.

Space Lord Robert Dersh. Inventor of space. Who will win? But yeah, no. I'm having a slow start to the new year. You failed. You fucked it up. Yeah, I kind of already bunked my New Year's resolution.

Can I start again? Can we reroll the 2025? Can I get like a cryo chamber and just wait a year if i could freeze myself first of all i'd freeze my up through taxis and you know and then when i get out the irs be like well and then i'll freeze myself again and then i'll just keep freezing myself through the irs forget i do not understand then the year's 3500 and they go jordan the dick has been dead for 1500 years we can't ask for his text we can't ask yeah the crowd came it doesn't affect my age yeah i die it sucks uh if i if i had x's you know i'd be skipping through

my wife's nagging true you know what i mean yo whenever you're whenever you're talking to the old ball and chain you know what i mean we'll have to find one and she's uh she's talking your ear off you go i'm going in the chamber can't hear you i'm frozen yes guess i won't be able to take out the trash can you please please hit the on button? There's no one inside. Please. I'm not going to hit the on. I'm not going to let you freeze yourself every time you have a disagreement. Don't go inside the crowd.

Guess who's going inside the cyber pod? I'm going to call an Uber driver and ask him to press the button. Having one of those Rise and Grind guys' isolation tanks pulling the damn bullet chains and hanging at you. Yeah, that's why they do the cold plunges. I can't hear you. I'm cold.

I'll drown myself. Still shouting. I'm not throwing. It's very cold. Did you ever do one of those you know i got it for you no you like press a button in it like uh trap doors to the couch into a cryo chamber oh man i'm an ice cube for the rest of sad boys this run which will be long it's like yeah it's like they do a uh speed like um uh like a hyperlapse of um the big jarvis's big ice cube

melting i'm aging i'm just feeling yeah you get to 1500 years old strangely without the cryo yeah hi welcome to whatever we are no longer sad we feel nothing um you wouldn't you want to do a plunge not even one time no i mean i've heard there's well so here's the thing in this world i don't know anything and every time i hear something that sounds like a fact i can't believe it don't the jab uh no jimmy kimmel no i trust the experts i don't believe in jimmy kimmel I got myself a Fauci-yachi. Remember when everyone was making the same 5G joke? I got Bill Gates' nanobots inside of my 5G body. I'm not scared right now, and I haven't become unfunny because of the pandemic.

My phone doesn't have service here. Oh, let me use my body. Because I have 5G in me from Bill Gates. Do you remember? Wow, that went. That's gone. the 5g is 5g things feel like it's gone well it's uh there's a moving there's a moving target remember the caravan of immigrants that was going to take over the u.s no dude i'm still looking for other crises that were manufactured i took care of it um i was one of them i was on the caravan. It was actually just me. But yeah, I'm trying to be patient with myself.

I have a lot of stuff I want to do, but I don't have a lot of energy. So I'm trying to work up to it. But you know how it go, dude. It's 2024. It's been 2024 for at least a day. You're so upset. It's so slow for at least a day. You're so upset. It's so slow. Why isn't it passing faster?

He's trying to be confident, but he's so upset. I want to be where I want to be. But every day I don't get any closer. You know? Not upset. But it's like I'm looking in the mirror at the gym every day and I don't see the change. At the gym? It's like I'm lifting a boulder up a hill over and over again. You know this is a myth.

What do you mean it's a myth? I live it every day. No, you're kidding me. Are you plagiarizing the Bible? Is there a Bible for them? The Bible for Sisyphus? Sisyphus' Bible? It's the rock.

Stuff on the underside. He has to turn it over to see what it's a... Don't kill. Okay. So we have written on our little conversation board, working at Target for free. And it is... It's just an idea we had.

Which is like, in the new year something i want to try it there is a tiktoker who has been going into stores they're named ug madison they're going into stores documenting how long they can do a bunch of free labor before they get kicked out or they just decide to leave yeah it's quiet work it is the opposite so wait can we watch the so well let's watch the walmart one um because that one i've seen and then apparently the target one's crazy but i haven't seen it yet i immediately got to work i was doing such a good job that customers started asking for my help. I don't know. I don't work here. I'm sorry. Oh, I thought you worked here. I've seen you putting stuff in. I started organizing shelves, throwing trash away, and folding the clothes.

Are you the one TikToker that tries to stay as long as possible? No. I would like to say that if you, you don't have to be doing a good job for someone to ask you a question at a grocery store. I mean, you could just be in a blue shirt. How embarrassing for that guy to think she worked there. What a moron. Oh, I'm sorry. I just saw you working here.

Leave. Yeah, he's like, oh, I'm sorry. I don't work here. Oh, I'm sorry, little girl. I don't like that. Well, I guess I better take my own life with my six-shooter. Well, all I did was I saw you working here, and I assumed that you worked here.

It was a thing that I did. No, I just, well, actually, no joke. After I worked retail, it took me about six months to stop automatically organizing shelves. We used to call it facing up, so making sure everything is at the front of the shelf yeah and perfectly positioned that's what i called it when i got braces i was like yo can we can we get me faced up this shit is whack i'm mouthing off yeah did it also

sound familiar to you when um not not wearing the uniform, doing nothing. Someone just walks over and goes like, hey, can you work here? Oh, yeah. I'm wearing like a floral t-shirt. Yeah. And cut off jean shorts. Yeah. Hey, you work here?

You're wearing a shirt that says, hey, don't talk to me. I don't work here. I'm on island time. From a different country. And then they go up and they just go, hey, no. Do you work in nick

i've either gotten that or i've gotten the um the person who is like following you in the store so when you like look back they like hide behind the clothes like like i'm a fucking metal gear npc yeah yeah it's like where i can't, oh, my eyeline's obstructed. I can't see you. Oh, it must have been the wind. Yeah. Or like Boo from Mario. Yeah.

Or when you turn around and he doesn't even know. Okay, we can continue. Oh, no. No. No, I don't know anything about you. I think they mistook me for Gail Lewis. Sorry, that's not me.

After a couple hours, I worked up an appetite. When I was in line, the girl in front of me didn't have a credit card, so she was going to have to go in a different lane and rescan all her stuff, and I told her not to worry about it and bought it for her. I'm just making sure my customers are satisfied. Then I got back to business. I want to be the best employee this Walmart's never had. I drank a two liter of Dr. Thunder and got back on my grind grind unfortunately walmart closes at 11 p.m so i had to leave this

is madison signing off i've spent nine hours working at walmart for free and it was the best day ever what are your thoughts on that i don't get distracted by the wrong part. A two liter of Dr. Thunder. Do they even have a public restroom of water? Like Jesus. I think she was just high on all the caffeine for Dr. Thunder. A two liter bottle of Dr. Thunder. It's in the Adderall aisle. Dude, that's like a Panera lemonade

levels of caffeine. I worked at Panera for two hours and unfortunately I exploded. I died, yeah. How long did I work at Panera before I die? I work at Panera. I mean, I don't work at Panera. two hours and unfortunately i died yeah how long did i work at panera before i die i work at panera i mean i don't work i don't work from panera okay so by the way if it's for free and you aren't you don't like belong to the company or whatever you're not working you're just being at it right you're being a problem which is um which is why like their comments like nobody wants to

work anymore blah blah and it's like she's only doing what she feels like doing so you know it's like and she's doing free labor sure but like it was what did she say at the end of that one it was like the best or it was so fun or something and i'm like okay well some people can't afford to work for free some people have to work at walmart for real there's there's just something uh there's too many questions do you remember that old old old uh cody co because he's so old there's a old video with the uh blue ass water thing or it's like why why are these people able to travel the world tell me who this is. Because most charitable answer is that they like work in financial or something. They just have a lot of money.

Sure. Most likely answer is that, you know, they're 19. So they only just have billionaire parents. Right. This is not like, like you can do this just as like,

you know, relatively comfortable middle-class families. Yeah. If you're 16, something that it's perfectly, but perfectly viable and a thing it's just that there is clearly some of the comments i don't regret just go seems like good intentions definitely good intentions but i do think that you're a bit sinister about it

yeah it's a little bit hmm i think we have to ask why you're able to do this. And also, like, I don't like what it, it ends up coming off as, like, working at grocery stores is fun. And I did it for free, and it was entertaining for me. It's a little bit like my culture is not your problem. You know what I mean? Where it's like. Cultural cosplay. Yeah, like. Cultural cosplay. Yeah.

Like. Everyone thought I was Gail Lewis. It's like when Charlie D'Amelio did like check people out at Walmart because she was like doing a brand deal with Walmart and the optics are like, oh, look at me. Like I'm working. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's hinging on.

Dude, imagine if i look crazy like working at walmart i know for free you know it's for like me i'm normal i feel like maybe if they were like i'm basically working for free anyway because they don't pay me a fucking living wage like maybe if that was the maybe if that was the message but then i would also

just be like please don't but going super fun and i'm like okay i feel like plant yeah what cia and then now now all the grocery stores i'm sure the tiktok accounts for the grocery stores like come work at our place for free we'd love all that free uh advertising because it's fun because it's fun come look at the gun range for free you're one of the targets doing our labor is a good time. It is odd. Especially when you don't have to be managed or be asked to do any of the stuff that no one wants to do.

It closes at 11. It's a nine-hour shift. There's people that do the nine-hour shift that then have to turn up tomorrow. Yeah. And do a 12-hour shift. In a way, you're just loitering and the fucking stock i was putting up go because this isn't where it's supposed to go in a way you're loitering and you are organizing shelves and if i work there sure i wouldn't kick you out

because i don't want to do that shit so go ahead and do the shit i don't want. But like it's, but let's not glorify it. You know what I mean? But I do think it, I do think it, it's well-intentioned. I have no problem with this existing. It's not like there's, I don't have like some, I don't think it's doing irreparable damage or something like that. The thing I would have a problem with

is it becoming a trend. Because the thing, I mean, it is, that's the thing that would have a problem with is it becoming a trend because the thing i mean it is that's the thing that bothers me is it just charitably it's fetishization and not appreciating how put upon retail workers are all levels yeah but all the pressure and the underpaying and why can't you be like that happy girl who works for free yeah be fun you know it's kind of like hey we're a family also i don't know that this is a trend but if anything gets views on tiktok someone's gonna yeah you know copy it so i do fear for that i can't wait to see target's annoying brand twitter response yeah well jacob told me the target one was bad so i'm curious wait jacob you said this

one was wild right uh yeah she goes let's say above and beyond oh no okay eating all the eggs i bought everything at tucker i got there at 1 p.m ready to work free i made sure to go above and beyond for my customers oh yeah they're over here oh and we'll talk about that i know where the stanley cups are and don't and if you know about the Stanley Cups Just just you wait, but we're okay. We're gonna get to the Stanley Cups We're gonna fucking get to the fucking you come down Dude anyway, let's go back to Stanley Cups day and my wife is cosplaying someone who

imagines Imagine working at a fucking Target Cosplaying a scum for a day dude couldn't be me i do it for free literally like somewhat working my retail job when i was 15 years old for a year year and a half whatever it was is the hardest i've ever worked in my entire life yeah to date yeah huge i know and it's i don't that i think maybe that's what it is if it was like uh i went in i went in a tech office did some partnerships work uh yeah it's working at blackrock for free i walked into a a weapons manufacturer and i worked for 12 hours to see if they if you notice i facilitated the sale of 500 million dollars of nato weaponry yeah i just dollars are going to war i destabilized koala

lampore as a bit i got there at 1 p.m ready to work for free i made sure to go okay i so i have mild like uh sensory issues with um like auditorily like uh if two people are talking at the same time it like rat it like scrambles my brain or whatever just very very mild i know people have it like uh worse but this fucking nails on a chalkboard to me it like makes me like go into fight or flight i don't know how you like re-watch it and even if it's not you know actively upsetting or triggering a sensation it it is just bad yeah they they made this like do they not watch it back and go like oh i should just have like a couple seconds but i'm not yeah yeah maybe like just like a a shot with no audio of you like in your uniform a red shirt and in doing like this or something before it starts he's dressed

like that chick from X. All right. Above and beyond for my customers. Do you know where the Stanley Cups are? Oh, yeah, they're over here. And here's a $20 gift card. Why? I thought a caption was coming up for me. Yeah, that was your line.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. That's so funny what hey um i was wondering where's the sugar hi do you want his laptop oh that mr peace does that like uh on his on his uh on his instagram he'll like go up to people in public locations and he'll be like answer this question for $10,000 I think if that one even if maybe we went through that I think he would maybe edit around any result with some was like do you want the deed to this location

a castle in Wales yeah do you want this franchise that is so weird I mean hey I guess it's hard to get mad at people getting stuff for free who weren't expecting it but it's always one of those things where it's like okay but we're filming it it's for content it's just very funny it is completely random out of what why i want to help my customers out. I don't know where they're supposed to be at, but they must have sold out.

Oh, they sold out. And we're going to talk about the fucking Stanley Cup. Yeah, they sold out of the Stanley Cups. But what were you asking? It's okay. Just don't. Okay, we can just keep playing. The bathroom was really dirty, but don't worry.

I fixed it. I organized the clothes. I fixed it. I organized the clothes. I fixed it. I cast a spell. That's such a funny way to talk about cleaning something. Gosh, he's doing just some... It was dirty, but I fixed it. It's so nasty, dude. I didn't have any equipment or anything.

Just hands on the ground with paper towels. I was hungry, so I had some Doritos. And then I drank a carafe of Red Bull. Dipping my fingers in it before each sip. It's gross by the fact that

toilet paper, I feel like stores will usually skimp on the toilet paper, right? It's like 0.5 ply or whatever. It's transparent. It's no ply toilet paper. so it's like it's like 0.5 ply or whatever it's transparent it's no ply toilet paper it's paint thickness yeah i've emptied the trash cans and got ollie pop and more gift cards to give to my loyal customers brand new i found misplaced items and put them back where they belong employees and security guards kept walking past me but i blended right

in i found this car and i started stalking everything off of it. Another employee saw me, but he didn't care because he thought I worked there. We finished the cart together after stalking. Yeah. Yeah, you got it. I didn't know what you said there. You got it. No, you hit the nail on the head.

I know. On my way out, someone saw me, but it turns out they thought I was looking at the store. Yeah. On the shelves, I decided to celebrate by buying my customers more stuff thank you so much you're welcome i'll buy all your stuff too i cleaned up some more stuff i think that's a very cute way to say that dude that's a that's an adorable way of saying that that's um what you get when you put up uh 10 god bless yous uh 11 you're so sweet and uh and and and 15 of darlings or whatever you spend your xp on all my honey roast lamps yeah dude i i would love to get a god bless you

triple double it's only happened a few times in history that's when my uh my uber eats from a dollar arrives oh yeah triple double oh yeah i was hungry yeah when you get three double cheeseburgers my work day is over i spent eight hours working at target for free and it was the happiest day of my life whoa the happiest day of my life there's something so dystopian about the end of these videos it's it's you know what it is also it's like oh it isn't all about bad shit for free though you didn't do it it wasn't for free all the pop paid you thousands of dollars to do this interesting that's really quite weird isn't it remember when i had the initiation remember when she did the and i bought some ollie pops and i was like huh

interesting and the edit stopped and she stared into the screen for 15 minutes. Interesting. Yeah, she's like, and you should go to Target and buy your Olipops as well. No, you did not restock that. That employee needs those items for orders placed online. Oh, my God. Oh, of course, that's what was in the cart. Oh, that sucks. No, it was another employee's cart.

He was stocking it. And I started stocking it, too too and asked if that's okay it was a big box of ollie pops my favorite food it's just something like odd about having that worldview with no self-consciousness about it and the ad i mean that that's just the ad is the the transparent reality that i actually get paid way more than the average person who's working at this grocery store to pretend to work there like that is what's so dystopian about it this comment here i work there for 15 17 and it's always the worst day ever that is the problem ollie pop doing the lord's work oh god oh that sucks oh if if if being a brand account wasn't bad enough doing the lord's work is that a saluting emoji okay well that's

disrespectful to the troops yeah that's stolen valor myself can we look at uh at target get this girl something no she doesn't need anything. She got a brand deal. Which doesn't need the job. Can you please cover my shapes at Best Buy on Saturday, please? Sponsored by Kettle Corn or whatever. Eight hours is crazy. Well, no, it isn't though. Every day is actually what people will do.

Eight hours is a pretty charitable day. Yeah, no, that's the haunting that the ad does they're going around and giving out the gift cards and stuff filming surreptitiously they don't know that they're being filmed it's like if um it's a lack of self-awareness it's like if jake from state farm went into the state farm like corporate office every day and sat there and just pretended to type on a computer like tyra banks in that movie life size this was the happiest day of my life yeah and he's like i get paid so much fucking money to hang out with celebrities and i mean like you guys have to work at this fucking insurance place you give it like i would love to do a nationally broadcasted ad where i do a bad job but it

bankrolls the rest of my life like kind of like i do a bad job and i get paid for it i just just to be known as a shitty performer yeah but in a super bowl ad do you think we could get this girl to come cover your shifts on set i would rock would rock. She would crush it. Happiest day of her life. Yeah. She'd be like, dude. She's sipping from the Philz cup even more visibly. Yeah. I mean, we're doing it without getting paid.

Maybe she wasn't paid by Olipop. Maybe she just loves it. So, do you know about the Stanley Cup? Which, by the way, sounds like a horror game. Is the Stanley Cup like a thing from sports? Yeah, I think it's what you win in hockey um i didn't know if it was actually called the stanley cup or not but fucking starbucks has a new tumbler so stanley is a company that makes like tumblers or metal metal goods he's a blacksmith thermoses and stuff and they did a collab with starbucks and they made this

pink thermos when did they do this collab recently sick dude very cool oh yeah yeah right now very very not a shitty time to do this is like um how starbucks also just announced that you can get coffee um you can get coffee in your own cup at Starbucks because people are getting called out for the optics of people, myself included

and ourselves included, boycotting Starbucks right now. I feel self-conscious if I send a gift on Pokemon Go with a Starbucks cup. Oh, right, because you're right by it and you can't. Sometimes I walk past it and I see the poker stuff. No, no, no, I definitely, yeah, cause it, cause like the Go Plus automatically does it.

Then make sure to reach out to whoever the friend on my friends list is. I'm not like that. I see, I'm just saying. Also, Howard Schultz fucking sucks. I actually don't think, as much as I like my little frozen like piece of shit breakfast sandwich that sucks, that was microwaved or whatever.

That you love. That I love. That's honestly complete garbage and basically frozen food. It's very weird that you can microwave something and it stays the same temperature. It doesn't really make any sense. Yeah, it's weird. How did that happen? Defrosting something that wasn't frozen.

But as much as I do hate that bullshit and and the mid coffee the that i have enjoyed in the past but now i hate um howard schultz sucks the ceos the the owner founder of starbucks um who like ran for president that one time it was a complete idiot uh he he's also like not only is he like staunch zionist or whatever but he's um he's mega anti-union as well and i'm realizing that like i'm like oh i should probably just not support starbucks in general yeah it's kind of a yeah big old piece of shit he also i was you know i i didn't want to conflate those two things anesthesia said he also destroyed the seattle supersonics which is why seattle doesn't have a nba team right now did he buy the team uh he owned the team and then uh like he sold it but then couldn't find a buyer in um in seattle and then

it got moved to like oklahoma city um but anyway the uh this tumblr so right now it's it's so oh it's so funny dude it's like so dystopian that right now there is this um starbucks tumblr collab we're looking at a vlog of someone who was camped out at starbucks or camped out at target at 4 40 a.m to be first in line to be able to get the stanley tumblr the valentine stanley there were three other people who we actually met in line during a previous drop. Okay. We've got boys and chairs. I told her, I'm like, yeah, I know we're crazy.

Don't judge us. No, no, no. It wasn't in a whole people bucket. Most people started to show at 6 a.m. I started to freeze and curled up into a bowl. It's probably like this full of outside waiting. Wait, I'm not liking this. It doesn't look like that many, though.

It's like at least... 30 to 40, like they said. This is like what it was like to get a Wii in 2007. Yeah, dude. I feel like I'm waiting for Halo 3 to be released. Yeah. All the way back. What? Oh, wow.

There's quite a line. What? Why? Because people have to get their hot pink Tumblr. But there's a bunch of his Tumblrs. There's like famously a lot of them.

No, but this, not this. This is limited edition. This is the Valentine's drop. Well, I think that was a previous drop. They're so cloud obsessed. I know. It's like, it is like a cloudy drop. Well, I think that was a previous drop. They're so cloud-obsessed. I know.

It's like... It is like a cloudy thing. Have some class. Somebody just grabs all of them. It's a Black Friday. Oh, she took two dishonorable... Oh, that's wild. I just want a video.

This is funny. Oh, my God. It's like Black Friday. It's like the old Black Friday videos. Yeah. Gone in 20 seconds. There's someone that didn't get a cut. Gorgeous.

Actively upset. I think I'd just take, even if I was really into it, I'll just take a swing on like, you know, getting it next week. All right, I'll bite. Jacob, let's go to eBay.

How much are these reselling for? I need to know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, my brain is too resell coded now. Putting a ton of time into collecting and you choose that. Who would that be? Yeah. Too high.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Stanley X Starbucks exclusive tumblerlr 40 ounce winter pink and that a deal and that is why people are waiting outside at 6 a.m because i don't know if anybody i think there's a few people who want it a lot and then there's people who recognize that there's a market scalpers and then they uh and then this is what we have and so they're reselling for yeah okay now now jacob this is like a little eBay trick. Can we go on the side to sold items? Because these listing prices are over, over.

So we want to go to, yeah, sold items, show only sold items, yeah. So, yes, they have been selling for $250. These are our best offer, so we don't know if they accepted a lower offer. Oh, no, that one ended at 212 18 bids respect um january 4th 2024 uh plus plus 12 55 for shipping yeah well it's a pretty hardy it's a pretty hardy uh yeah they said it'd be a bike courier great market for the uh counterfeiters out there who there's no way to like prove the origin of yeah stanley style cup um so yeah that's wild there's another uh video about these oh yeah yeah this i can't wait for george's reaction peeled off the label on my Cosmo Stanley tumbler. The packaging was so cute I had to get it laminated.

Oh okay yeah yeah yeah. And now I can use my tumbler without messing up the label. That is fucking insane. You know hey man uh no i love products don't need to yuck yucks but this is um fucked up no dude i mean like i love consumerism as much as the next guy uh but there's it's something a little dark about this cup i don't know man i don't know i think i'm wrong in some way i think'm wrong. There is a subreddit for the Yeti Tumblr. Oh yeah. And that is, I think it's like pretty popular. I just saw somebody tweeting about that.

I think Anastasia got me one of those as like a gift one time. A Yeti hat? Yeah. Is that the one we used to get from work as well? Like yearly anniversary ones or whatever. Everyone just says cope on it, which is pretty funny in retrospect.

Yeah, I do. I actually, you know what's funny? I have two of those because they released them at Target and then I grabbed two. No, they printed, yeah, for work, they gave us like these big, I think they're Yeti thermoses.

I actually didn't think, I didn't remember what the brand was, but they had engraved all of our names on them. Like it was like a company holiday gift. It was cute. And they had engraved all of our names on them. Like it was like a company holiday gift. It was cute. And they made two with the name Jarvis on them. So they were like, here you go, I guess.

The name of no one else I've ever met in my entire life. Yeah, yeah. So I actually have two Patreon Jarvis Yeti cups. And I will be reselling them for $5 million. It's crazy because both Stanley and yeti are camping gear brands yeah like you both survivalist right and so now it's like impossible by stanley stuff oh it's like a bunch of people dying in the woods yeah that's like um it's like boat shoes and like i, I feel like that happens sometimes where like car hard. Yeah.

Like a work, a worker's gear or even Dickies, you know, it's like where it becomes like stylish as a salt of the earth laborer, kind of like man's man, classical, uh, trade school kind of guy. Like your hands are so rough. Oh yeah. That's it's the, that's from something else. Unmoisturized. Oh, I see.

I tried picking up a single brick to tear my hands wide open. Bled all over the ground. But I put a lot of salt on the earth. Yeah. Salt burns, so to speak. Well, yeah, when I say trade work, it's pretty nasty. I'll admit it. I personally am upset when I see somebody wearing metal metal uh toe boots like me

wear shoes on the podcast but uh and says you want me to uh hand me my uh my my cat my cat caterpillar or whatever I have a truck outside it's a full of lumber that I've not secured I saw a um a tiktok like a fashion tiktok that was like these what these brands say about you and uh and then carhartt came up and it was like if you if you were a carhartt you're a hipster or something like that it's like or you like fucking work i don't know like or you've had one for 40 years it's like so funny to have it like co-opted by by a fashion trend i find this uh less maybe i would find this even more unsettling if we hadn't kicked off with the previous branches i couldn't believe they had an in-universe collab

this is i i really didn't anticipate it being like a you know the last one being an ad ad it does make me wonder about some of these this is i you know it's like i behaved the same way for something i'm sure um black friday i've done like black friday rushes to get like good deals we've we've all gone to woolworth when it was closing back in 2006 2007 somewhere around when i was a kid we used to like call around when the we came out we were calling around to like see when they were getting wheeze in and that was like maybe the the last time that I saw something in the store that I had to grab. We've all gone down to the Stroud Blockbuster when that was closing in the mid-2000s because we wanted to get a copy of Reaper Jr.

I think it was Grimm Jr., someone like that, for the PSP. Because the guy that worked there used to give you copies of stuff and then just bring it back. Yeah. Yeah, we did that. Thank you. Yeah, Damien was a was like cool guy yeah he was so sick we all had a semi-brotherly relationship with damien though we only saw him at the blockbuster and um then one day he was gone forever i see he got fired for giving me stuff i do think i also i also respect the art of like caring for your items and stuff like that like there's like the, there's like Kintsugi and stuff

where like, you know, you have like gold leaf and you like mend items and like kind of sort of appreciate them. But there's some, there's a disconnect between that and like laminating the label on your Starbucks tumbler, which is like, I don't know why it's funny to me. It is, you know, it's as arbitrary as anything and we both have our passions that are you know just based in like hey this just feels good i don't

know ultimately maybe it doesn't matter whatever but the sinister part is it's just it's starbucks dude it's starbucks preserving the brand of i mean even you know in your case pokemon cards right there is a nostalgia and a whimsy to it. Lock me up. Oh, okay. Fuck. It's not for that, though. My hands are really soft. That's what you're going to do.

I've never worked hard in my life. No. I can't get out of these cups because my hands are soft. Oh, they slipped right out. Oh, the salt. Because they're so soft and lotion. They're so moisturized. But I don't, you know, just there's no nostalgia, whimsy, anything for these cups.

Unless you're like 10 years old yeah it is it's way more so just like there's if it was a limited edition pokemon tumbler i may be like damn i kind of want that i'm going to starbucks today is what you'd say yeah oh i wouldn't yeah when you were going this morning so shut. I'm strictly. I didn't do it. I went to Einstein Bros. Einstein Bros, okay. I don't. Wait, check that, Jacob. No.

Oh, no. Einstein was on the flight logs. The flight logs to join the idea. I do have bad news about Stephen Hawking. Very bad news about Stephen Hawking. He's done a streak isn't he every time

there's some weird like misconduct it's always like and Stephen Hawking was doing that it's like

get back to space counting stars or whatever checking how many stars there are yep still 10 you just sent stars yeah let's talk about

salt spoon oh this is fun oh hmm what do i do howdy howdy it's me jacob or lordy come on down to australia i didn't know it was australia yeah that fucked me up i checked because they're like this is pretty convincing isn't it yeah yeah and then he was you know i saw him in an interview he was likerikey, I can't believe I'm in another movie. They say I'm tall in Euphoria. You should see me in the other movie. I look so freaking big next to Barry Keown. How the fuck do you say his name?

Keown. Keown. It's Irish. I looked it up. It's got like a nine in it. Keown. Keown. It's got like a Batman symbol. It sounds like a Dop in it. Keon. Keon. It's got like a Batman symbol.

It sounds like a Doppler effect thing. Like very keon. He's got a spoiler on his name. Yeah. But anyway, everyone's talking about Zopper and there's a lot of memes. Have you seen it? Oh, yeah. I fucking loved it.

Okay. I, well, I don't know what the consensus was. I did not love it, but I thought it was entertaining for me, but I also thought that it was very, I understand why the responses, at least as I understand it, it's very like Tumblr core,

you know, like all the memes, all the fan all the the fan cams and stuff like that the what i wasn't expecting was that i watched the towns of mr ripley the other night and i had no clue those movies were so similar yeah i was like i was i i thought it was just like a nod but i was there are whole plot points there are so there are conversations that are the same that happened in both movies the uh director mentioned that and they also mentioned cruel intentions oh i haven't seen that one that's yeah i don't even know what the sub

genre name is but like unsettling delicate boy well tell me what you liked about the movie So I have this It's kind of a It's a wanky Film school thing maybe But there's If I get really attached to a component piece of something It doesn't supersede the text And it's not gonna To raise it above like The quality of some of its parts

There's a lot of components to what makes something good or bad but enjoyed or not enjoyed but i was engaged the entire time and the direction is so good it is like so that's kind of my bag slightly with uh get out honestly yeah i um i really like that movie i never been super crazy into some of the performances are amazing uh i think i think the lead lead performances are but there's just kind of like a i don't know i feel like darth vader from the west wing or whatever his name is the dad is kind of an autopilot there's anyway the the direction of that movie is what feels so it feels so like auteur and sincere and deliberate is why i love that movie but also the last third i just it's it's there's some catharsis in it or whatever yeah yeah so like

oh yeah of course it has to be this this is what yeah i think that's yeah that's that uh i didn't feel like there was a twist because it felt like that's what the movie had to be this this is what yeah i think that's yeah that's that uh i didn't feel like there was a twist because it felt like that's what the movie had to be which is it's it's pulpy b movie at the end and that's complete there's no less valuable but everything else about the production uh especially the editing is like what attaches to me it's why i like um us more and nope I think of us nope get out

key and peel right at the top and not the Twilight Zone one that sucks shit for me it's Boom Chicago in Amsterdam touring improv comedy.

Then Key & Peele. Salt burn. Not involved in that movie, but it's in the list. The bathtub. I'm not going to re-watch the movie, is what kind of, well, maybe at some point. Oh, wait, no, I actually am because Katie hasn't seen it. Oh, nice. So we will.

I'm curious to see her reaction and her overall thoughts. We have kind of similar taste i would always rather go to the messiest most chaotic house party ever than like a really nice public invite event or something just out of curiosity doing that in the past i've I was younger, I've had pretty bad, like experience, like gotten too drunk, or gotten like, like my friend got clipped by a car, and just like,

gotten fights, and that happens, right? Because it is chaotic and weird, and now I'm old, and it would be too tiring, but there is something, like Saltburn was just so constantly surprising,

not in this content, because it's literally just the talented Mr. Ripley. But there's so much that stuck with me. The production is so fucking good. The grade is so fucking good. It's very pretty. The performances are weirdly good.

I think Jacob, Elordi, yeah. Elord Bath of Jacob. He, I think, I apologize. I'm as guilty, I think Jacob Elordia. Elord Bath of Jacob. He, I think, I apologize. I'm as guilty, I think, of anybody else of unconsciously judging him for being in like movies for teen girls. I think that I didn't-

The Robert Pattinson effect. I didn't account for my bias and he's great in those movies too. And I think there's, I've watched the, I've watched the kissing booth. That was fine. It's like a fun enough movie,

whatever. It's kind of odd. Like the, I don't know. The dynamics are very fucking strange, but there's that, you know, kind of sound part of me that when I was younger,

it was like boy bands. Oh yeah. Dude, that's not, if it's for girls, that means it's bad. Oh. And I mean,

I'm, I love boy bands. For me, I think I don't have a great, I'm not a great critic of media. I will say that up front. Yeah, the birders. Mostly. I think for what the movie,

I think for me, I'm attached myself to what the movie is trying to say. And I didn't feel like a critique on class from someone who is like the daughter of a famous jeweler of the stars felt very like and not to take away from that person's ability to critique that but it's like i didn't feel like it said anything new i it does lose its most the thing i really liked about that is like a couple small things barry uh grogers whatever the fuck barry wal Walbert. He's doing some very subtle code switching as far as how strong his accent is, which I think is really cool. Also, shout out, he's Irish and he does all kinds of different voices.

He's also playing the Joker. You know that? Oh, really? He's in the deleted scene from The Batman. He's in the next one as Joker. He looks really stupid with the internal makeup. But he's crazy. He's chaotic like us.

We have a sick, twisted sense of humor society. But there is a like, that kind of stuff with Jacob Lordy. A character called Felix wearing a vintage rugby shirt in a overstuffed pub throwing a fiver on the side. There's like nostalgia maybe that's also

playing into it but i like i hated those guys probably because i was jealous they had money you know but also just you know um yeah i have none of the cultural sort of connection and that definitely does play in but i you know i didn't go to oxford or anything so not that landed really but i the thing i didn't go to oxford or anything so not that landed really but i the thing i liked about the class allegory which really well i mean algorithm just direct which otherwise is a little sloppy is i really liked when they go back to his and he has a staunchly middle to upper middle class upbringing and i i that is like because the source of class warfare uh warfare in the uk is a little different than it is here and it's very different than it is

in korea which is kind of the like go-to reference point for class uh class separation movies right now uh between and movies and tv between squid game and parasite there is there is a very important line in the movie that i uh is kind of hidden and this is the kind of thing that i i enjoyed and what captured me so much i was constantly making notes i there there is a scene where he says i'm a vampire and he says it for like in text reasons like like reasons that can just basically be a pun it's a blood pun but like whatever my pun but it's like a reference but that's a pretty telling line because that kind of feels like it's acknowledging that it's not parasite where he is a he is not like a symbiote

or a parasite feeding off of yeah he is the predator he's a bloodsucker a fame fucker he's bleeding try like a goddamn vampire how dare you like uh he's an olivia rodrigo style vampire yeah an industry plant or whatever people just say that right for some reason uh but yeah i i enjoyed watching it i don't i am curious to see what I think about in a second watch. It is too long. Yeah. It's, it's long. It's like two hours,

maybe a little bit more. Ripley's also two 15, which is where the similarity stop between those two movies. One thing that I feel like we should discuss is I personally, especially having watched Ripley afterward, I didn't feel like any of the like grotesque stuff in the movie or like the bodily fluids and all that stuff like i feel like you could do more with less i feel like it was just there for like the shock value especially the

length of this in the same way that like in a horror movie you see somebody like stab an eyeball or something like that it feels like it's like meant to grab that and maybe it was maybe that's the point it feels a little like like an rs as to movie where you like you watch i don't know uh i really like hereditary i don't like midsummer because midsummer just feels good it's just like look at this pretty crazy yeah you ever thought about that what if something was crazy yeah because i feel like i got like oh, oh, this guy's a wacky guy pretty early on. But okay, so going back to Ripley, there's like a – first of all, everyone's beautiful in that movie, young Matt Damon. There is a scene very early on where you see that Tom Ripley is really good at impressions.

And he starts doing voices. that like Tom Ripley is like really good at impressions. And he like starts doing voices and it's so eerie. And you immediately are like, this guy's a fucking villain. What the fuck? Like, and I- And I- He's capable in a way that is like, he's talented. Yeah, he's like, he's scary.

And I felt more fear from that than I did in any of the like sort of like, ew, like ew like that's how i felt watching the salt burn i'm like i don't want to see that well a lot of those scenes aren't revealing anything new they are like even if anything they're always a lot of them are too early because it's like oh this is insane like it's not a ramp up it is a 10 immediately and then yeah i mean it you know he's literally in like one of the earliest minus one i don't know in one of the earliest scenes in the movie standing outside uh like his obsessions window watching him have sex oh yeah like the last thing they did was he um helped him with his bike yeah the leaflet logic is crazy there is

a thing at the end too where um where they do the like prestige or whatever where it's like uh they do the knives out like actually here's how we and here's how we did it well you'll find this barrack herger but but i played the joker um i was like that it was another thing where i like did it felt like it was like the movie trying to be like look what we did but or like we did we pulled a we pulled a trick on you or whatever i don't know that's what i was trying to do but like in movies that i've seen that is the point where it's like and now i'm revealing how the magician oh yeah that's definitely what they're doing and that that is the biggest disappointment in the movie. They say it explicitly.

Yeah, I was like, you didn't have to do that. I mean, I didn't know, no. Right. But his actions in the final part of the movie, I did. Right. No, literally when, because I was watching it with my friend, when he gave the,

I mean, we've already kind of been spoiling things when he handed him the the drink and then he took a swig out of it i was like he he's poisoning him or when he dropped that afterward i was like oh he poisoned him and then you know like and then it's like oh everything was like so planted so that that's very much a like oh oh, talented Mr. Ripley moment where it's like, oh, he's actually this like very intelligent, very premeditated genius. What was more interesting about talented Mr. Ripley is like, I'm curious if he agrees. That character is, his ultimate goal is just comfort and integration. He's like, what do you character yeah oliver oliver yes um he's like oliver which by the way i think is a uh like there's a lot of i grew up with a lot of

ollies like ollies on my skateboard i'm so sorry a lot of kickfl sorry i'm so stupid uh but with a lot of ollies that were uh amongst my class and then like the posh kids we knew were all of us and i think it is really interesting that he is from the inception too like like going to uh uh oxbridge cambridge oxford etc it's a very posh and kind of culty institution especially if you don't come from like explicitly rich family but i i i that was like a code switching thing i thought was really interesting but his parents call him oliver as well that is it's very explicitly like a posher name if you're someone oliver it's almost like you're like making fun of them you know like right right oliver yeah yeah but there's like no it's so uh again you put where you put it perfectly it's the prestige but also I was so excited when Jacob Felix, Felix, when he just died and there was maybe he didn't kill him.

And then you find out he killed him. And I was so disappointed because it's like, no, like, like you can be parasitic and vampiric. And then like your presence is what's causing like the death and destruction, the fall down of the family, because that's what it was doing. And then it's just a little, of course, there's a movie called, sorry, rambling. No, you're, you're making perfect sense to me. There's a movie called, you will never really hear, I believe. I always slip up on that name, but it's a Joaquin Phoenix movie from four or five years ago.

And it's, it's amazing. Highly recommended. Little kind of violent, like groundedly violent. So that could be unsettling to people more so than this movie, but it's not gross out. It's, it's uncomfortably normal and short. Just a, you know, I'm dead. But the kind of point of the movie is no catharsis.

You don't get that at the end. You don't get the like big explosive taxi driver at the end shootout type thing. It does not affect the movie at all you should watch it anyway but it ends basically with like him turning out up for that and it already happened and then the movie ends which is a bit more like ripley actually yeah ripley doesn't end in a catharsis and i i was thinking about the fact that you know going back to like parasite or something like that like in a world where you're like you're not rooting for oliver and so he's i mean he's pretty unlikable from the beginning and so

seeing the sort of him winning is like to me i didn't need to see the extent of him winning because i didn't feel like i'm gaining any new insights or anything. I'm kind of just sitting in like his victory lap. Cause like, it felt like a victory lap, like the, you know, like killing all of the members of the family,

then like sort of befriending the mom, getting in the will, killing her. Now he has all the money in the thing, but he was already like upper middle class before. So it's like, he just, he just succeeded as being a vampire yeah it's like a morbius or whatever except for like at the end of the movie he just like you just see a super cut of him sucking the blood

yeah i mean you know the one we talk about i think this does definitely demonstrate the way i compartmentalize the stuff that i watch because i really did enjoy it and i all these criticisms no i mean running i i enjoyed what like it was a fun watch i yeah actually i loved watching yeah it was a fun i didn't think it was i was not like upset with the movie or anything like that um but the the allegory is wonky. And it also, I mean, it justarice and indulgence lack of morals like in a way that i don't even think it knows it's doing it yeah i think it's just a bias that it's like this guy's so crazy he'll fuck anyone isn't that crazy it's like i thought he was gay no he's straight what the hell me and jacob were looking at or like before the show i found myself on like r slash salt burn and the comment i cannot read the comment it's like it was a place where i i'm like it's not my

place to to speak on this but the like sort of like young and queer community kind of like idol, the idolatry of these characters and being like, Ooh, they were serving in this way. Or like, they were like, this person is like this. I'm like, it's cool to like, see yourself in a movie and have something to, uh, or, or see something in a movie that you can kind of attach to. And, and, and i think that if i was at a different time in my life i may have like had a different impression also if it was the first type of movie i've seen like that i would have had a different impression um and so i i don't want to take away from like what people got out of the movie and the celebration and the sort of fun people are

having with the movie because i think people are having a lot of fun with it and i think that's great it's a gorgeous fun and i think there should be lots of pretty things for people to have fun with and i don't want to like yuck anyone's yum on that um in in that regard and uh and it's fun i mean like if a salt burn comes out every year where it's like that type of movie and people are talking about it i'm gonna watch it you know because it's like it's fun to be a part of it and i certainly can't say if like anybody does not feel bothered at all by like how the queer representation in that movie works like it's not i don't i don't believe it's like degenerate behavior it's just weird that there's a movie that like he really is the only character in the movie with ambiguous sexuality and at least displayed it's you know suggested maybe him and

felix have some kind of connection but it's like it's never really physically explored in any kind of way which is fine but it's he he is the the villain so he has no hesitation. He is full of Rome. He's a degenerate, dude. This is crazy. I was a joker. I wasn't expecting Ripley to go into that stuff at all because it was 1999. But surprisingly, like without some of those like scenes, you know, like there's not like there's some pretty um graphic uh even from a sexual violence standpoint yeah scenes in salt burn yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah like like uh so so that could be off but like that's something that you would probably not see on tv back then but the um

some of that stuff you know there's no like physical on-camera romance, but there's like a lot of implied romance. And then at the end of Ripley, he's being questioned by like the Italian police. And they're like, are you a homosexual? And he was like, God, no. Now that we've talked about Saltburn, let's look at some of the responses. So first of all, Jacob Elordi's bath water from that salt burn scene is being sold as a candle every i mean like we we did our spoilers you check us but we don't people know about this i when it comes to gimmick candles i'm kind of on the the side of like well now i just have this

this is just in my fucking house i'm gonna use it um sorry relax let's light a little bit of um uh jordan's uh bathroom trip i feel like we can't mention this without mentioning um gwyneth paltrow's like vagina candle yeah the the that's a real thing right i didn't dream that okay what are you talking yeah okay cool you're talking about jacob elordi's bath water but uh jacob elordi's bathtub water cocktail people are taking the wrong stuff from this movie i think i know dude oh right oh it's a cocktail okay so they're playing the song from the end of salt burn where the dance is happening doing his little dance doing his little dance with his big hog what the fuck

rim your glass with coconut milk let it drip that's very pretty funny i'm gonna be honest i don't think that's what they drink in the movie no i don't remember them doing that yeah i think it was more of a bath water. Oh, and it's got a little penis straw. Nice, that's edgy as fuck. That's nice. That's fun. That's Bachelorette Party Corps.

That's crazy. These guys are crazy. Okay, but then there's my favorite thing. You know how Saltburn was about having a big house and it being awesome? Yeah, being pretty swag. Yeah. It is hard to get around that. A lot of the movie

is just kind of like this would be cool wouldn't it yeah to just hang out so uh this is the mgmt so that there's a trend where like rich people are just doing a walkthrough of their mansions oh i did that is a nice touch that's very cool it's a nice touch that someone's pretending to be dead while you walk through your giant fucking mansion which is cool i mean like this is sick i don't i it is funny that like one of the central themes of that movie is like um class shame basically like code switching class shame and these people have zero shame like look at my poggers house i i mean like i'm so glad i didn't grow up with that because i would lie yeah i would maybe i'm lying right now maybe i have a castle god no if i'd be the most insufferable fucker in the world now. Dancing around my fiance's family home like...

Hashtag salt burn. Hashtag stately home. Hashtag murder on the dance floor. Hashtag dancing. Hashtag top of a movie. Hashtag FYP. Hashtag you're a virgin for your bitch. What's the song for this?

Oh, it's murder on the dance floor. Wow. Oh. Why is it so sensual? Ew. Why are they moving around fast enough or maybe it's just i'm not hearing the song right now because we don't want to get claimed okay this room's kind of cool it's a big house i don't know i'm such a little like

taught for ultra modern houses i have like so much i was gonna grow up in a rural area i have so much bias against like old shit i don't know why i like thought that was my ex for a second oh there she is i'm nervous oh full-size pool table i'm back in oh that's cool i will dream browse facebook marketplace looking for like a big repulse to like a broken i love how they all end because if they kept going you'd have to be like damn this is a big house the songs that long enough yeah i'd be self-conscious now i hear your shame but would you feel shame if i gave you a million dollars dude that would be so embarrassing don't do it well that about does it for today's episode i gotta get out of here before this guy keeps making jokes um we're gonna hop on over to the uh sad boys nights our patreon podcast our premium patreon podcast where we're going to talk about the stuff we didn't get to in this episode which is tom segura saying wash closet for poor people oh what oh yeah i forgot

about uh and then this is brave the pop-tart who killed himself at the pop-tart bowl god i forgot about that tom segura god damn and we've got some, Austin, our editor, one of our editors, made some, oh, who was on the last Sad Boys Nights, or one of the last Sad Boys Nights, made some New Year's slides.

So we're going to go through some New Year's stuff. We didn't get to it last time. So all of that and more on Sad Boys Nights. Patreon.com slash Sad Boys. Holy weird. Stop it. We end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase we love you and we love you so sorry okay you know i think this couch makes you sit weird yeah it's the couch finally someone says it hear

that everyone or maybe it's just because of i'm near you too yeah we have a gravitational pull i'm like i'm showing so much it's like zero gravity it's like zero gravity for your legs honestly go up my is facing the world yeah i wish we're one long red line yeah Goochie girl, goochie girl How you doing, how you moving girl Moving girl, how she dead looking That future girl, future girl Yeah we on now Take my money, go away All you wanted Girl too rich for me