Sad Boyz - The $8,000 Street Couch (w/ Ethan Nestor)

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. And today we are joined by a very special guest. You know him, you love him. He's the killer of Crank Gameplay's YouTube channel. What happened? One half of Honest Honest, Dad of Spencer,

and most recently one half of the brain leak podcast i was so confused when you were like dad of and i was like yeah you're my dad dad oh ethan ethan nester hello everyone our dad maybe um i'm so excited to be here and i'm really excited that um you guys don't use shora some seven bees oh yes yeah with like if this is a choice that we made specifically because we're not hype beasts that's why you know what it does to a podcast where you're like locked in to like the like arm of i mean i have one over there because he's on my desk it is it feels like uh adhd ableism to have a locked microphone yeah i'm like i just want to move around jordan when it wouldn't be able to do half of his sitting positions if he was locked in a lot of weird positions that you said based

on the comments yeah based on the thing of the most recent comment we got this is so funny the most recent comment about our sitting positions and like, I guess, well, here, I'll just read this to you and you can interpret it as you will. There is a bit too much leg, side ass, and crotch in this podcast. How is the side ass? So are you just sitting kind of like this? I skimmed through the podcast. If that was in reference to, and it's just us sitting like this the whole time.

So I don't know what they mean by side. The fuck am I meant to have side ass and crotch spinning? Yeah. Yeah. We're moving around. We got to make sure to get the side ass. We got to make sure to get the crotch. And then they said,

I think maybe it's supposed to seem comfy or casual. dot dot dot question mark question mark question mark but comma space i'm like dot dot quote um uncomfortable actually it's written in such an erratic way why yeah it is i mean it's written like a haiku like the structuring is so strange um uncomfortable actually me thinks there's too much side ass

yeah I really like the amount of side ass thank you you've actually got like a perfect view of side ass right now I do yeah

you kind of got both side ass go ahead choose that's what I'm saying we don't even have a camera right here this would be the side ass camera

yeah anyway you can't get side ass yeah it's hard to get yeah that's what I was thinking We don't even have a camera right here. This would be the side-ass camera. Yeah. Anyway. You can't get side-ass. Yeah. It's hard to get. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Not without paying $5 a month.

Crotch, sure. Leg, of course. Yeah. You could do a lot of crotch. Okay. All right. Direct behind would be fine. Yeah.

We have a camera just right here. Just the crotch cam. It's slowly zooming in. Yeah. We hide a grip. That would be so good. Yeah. Dude,

even how have you been? I feel like we got to hang out recently, so I have seen you, but, uh, I've been good. It's cool. And you know,

this feeling, it's really cool. Not having to work out every day. Yeah. Anymore. That's I've been thinking about working out again because I truly have not exercised since creator clash. And it's been so freeing it's fucked that you have to keep working out do you know what i mean i feel like training that much should be you get 20 years 20 years

you just lock in and then you get to be in great shape for 20 years and then all of a sudden you're like oh i could i need to go back to the gym. I'm not as ripped anymore. Damn. It's starting to become incredible to me that I was able to get myself off of the couch so many times in a row because the tears of the kingdom is so good. It's really fun. How considerate of Nintendo to not drop that during training. Oh my God.

I would have had to drop, drop out of the fight. You just have to drop out of creative class because of Tears of the Kingdom. Playing in the ring. I would just send a video of me building a mech or whatever that shoots lasers and they'd be like, we understand.

Have you built a penis yet? You know, I'm going to go ahead and say I haven't done any crazy creative builds. I've mostly done utilitarian builds to get the job done. I've mostly done just very basic bridges. Bridges are good. I've been building, you know, getting around the depths.

I won't give too many spoilers, but if you know, you know. Getting around the depths sucks butt. It sucks side ass, if I'm being completely frank. I haven't even been down oh dude you're gonna hate it it's crotch to you dude it's it's a bunch of crotch shots it's a bunch of side ass it's pretty much something that's very uncomfortable um uncomfortable actually that's in reference to the depth. You can be honest. Is it called the depth?

What's it called? You got to make one penis. Oh, yeah. I should probably make one penis. I haven't made one penis yet. How many? I could. Maybe I'll do that today.

Maybe that's what I'll do after this. I don't have a lot of plans. So maybe I'll just go and make a penis. Well, that does sound kind of awesome, dude. Maybe we should just lay down these Shure SM58s and make a penis together. Man, and we could lay them down, and you could still hear us pretty fine

because you don't have to have this microphone in your mouth. That's true. Oh, you do have to have a SM7B like real close. I will say we do kind of ruin the podcast aesthetic because you're supposed to, you know, have it more or less covering half your face. You also have to be like a middling comic on Joe Rogan and talk about like,

did you see that monkey that drove a car or whatever? Do you guys ever notice how stand-up comedians hold microphones? And how everyone holds it from like here. Oh, yeah. They're like, let me. I mean, here's the thing los angeles everyone's like holding it from like the base of the xl cable

it's a weird thing where you're trying you you're trying to like look cool and confident while holding this dangly little thing where Where you're just like, yes, anyway, I was fucking one of my lady friends. Maybe they do that to make it look less phallic. Oh, yeah, because if they're just like... Because they don't want to look gay. Yeah.

Fellows. We always hit them with this, right? Yeah, they're just doing a lot of arranging the... Wait, I just realized. What you guys should do for a special of sad boys is you should take like 40 of these and dangle them from the ceiling, but you have them swinging. And so the entire time you're trying to like make it through this gauntlet of microphones that are swinging. But then you have to make sure that

you're getting good audio. You're hitting on something important, which is it should be harder to do a podcast. It should be. Not everybody should be able to just go the Easter. I think we should start making people get a permit for these things. You have to do a test. You have to go to the DMV.

The PMV. Are we in charge of this? No, I don't think so. And again, I think it should Do you have to do a test? Like you have to go to the DMV? Yeah. The PMV? Are we in charge of this? No. I don't think so. The verification. And again, I think it should specifically be for the Shure SM7B because that's like the podcast microphone. And I think that if the Shure SM7B and the Scarlett 2i2 didn't exist, I think there would be way less podcasts i that's actually such a funny observation because it is like the starter kit yes for for everyone quite literally yeah amazon

kits with two oh not great mics but always like high-end 18i8 low-end 2i2 always a scarlet yeah like some strange korean brand that like when you touch it shakes outside soft it's like it's supposed to be like this i like how um how it's always marketed as like michael jackson recorded thriller on this microphone it's like okay okay it's also what do you think a podcast is podcasting is much like thriller so anyway um ethan how are you enjoying the brain leak podcast man it's been good you guys have to come on brain leak oh yeah we'll do that jordan's brain's all kind of gone at this point it's always don't say wednesday yeah oh no i'm busy that day oh man don't even say the day's always Don't say Wednesday. Yeah. Oh no, I'm busy that day.

Don't even say the day. Please don't say the day. It's not a weekday or a weekend, is it? Rats. Oh shit, does it end in day?

I'm actually looked up. I'm dead. I'll be in the ground on that. How come the months don't end in month? Put it there, brother. Every day

ends in day. But it's not brother. Every day ends a day. But it's not like... You gotta go, man. You're kind of spitting, actually. Why do all the days end a day? We know it's a day. We know it's a day. It's wetness. We can agree. Just call it wetness.

Please. Month to wetness. Wetness is rough. wedness is really rough I really like wedness oh we do have fun don't we yeah we do have fun wait what the heck so is it crank gameplays oh Ethan I don't understand

yeah dude yeah man so yeah wait let's talk about this so you for many years went by Crank Gameplays. That was your YouTube. I mean, you were posting pretty cranked gameplays if you do. I do say so myself. Yeah, back in the day.

And then our little boy grew up. And he not only grew up, but he grew out. Yeah, the width of me really he mostly grew out a lot of leg same height the whole time but metaphorically speaking hey maybe i don't always want to play uh power washing simulator maybe i always i don't always want to crank these game plays yeah maybe i just want them to be like nice, soft, uncranked game plays. Yeah, flaccid kind of game regular. Flaccid game plays. Flaccid game plays. Alright, Jacob,

cut to the crotch cam. Welcome back to Flaccid Game Plays. I'm your host, Ethan Crank. Check the video retention on that, and as soon as you open your legs, it's just a spike. It's like 200% retention on this part. People as you open your legs it's just a spike a spike it's like 200 retention on this part people just keep rewinding it how long you could if you really wanted to

maintain the attention of people you could just have a crotch cam always in the corner kind of like a let's play oh yeah always in the left hand corner or like a dog cam you know um well but wait let's i do want to get back to the rebrand uh let's get back to the crowd so uh crouch game plays you are so like i i i want to say i'm very proud of you because it's a very difficult thing to like to say hey this was my brand this was my identity online yeah um i want to sort of re be reborn like a phoenix into you know your new self i'm sure that like what your channel what your handle and stuff represented at the time you know when you started that has shifted and now you know you can kind of come into your own as like hey i'm just like a guy i'm just some guy doing doing dude things doing just doing dude things with the boys put her there brother hell yeah dude i'm loving you i'm not doing well

i'm just sad all the time not doing well you're like things are going well i should feel better i'm just not i was telling jarvis uh i my mom called me while i was on my way here and she was like oh what are you doing i was oh, I'm just going on some friend's podcast. And she's like, oh, what's it called? And I was like, it's called Sad Boys. And she asked what the podcast was about and I made the joke of like, oh, it's just like if you're really sad, you go on it.

And she like stopped for a moment and was like, are you sad? And I was like, no, mom, I'm fine. It's a joke. She got very, very worried worried that's kind of that's so funny i mean what's we did uh like we always do talk about like it's just like naturally we talk about our emotions and stuff but it you when we first started the podcast it was like the focus of every episode and it is so emotionally exhausting to like talk about your emotions to that degree. Also, like I'm in therapy every week.

I kind of even that tires me out. Yeah. Like talking about my emotions. So like doing it for content is like I'd rather do it in passing than like put a spotlight on it. You know, I think that I should start streaming my therapy sessions. You got to collab with a healthy gamer. Yeah. light on it you know i think that i should start streaming my therapy sessions you gotta collab with a healthy gamer gg yeah i think i should just start have you watched those yeah i was on one once really yeah i don't know if they're good as far as like i the intentions or no the

intentions i think are good i i just like, I watch it and it feels violating. I like feel like I shouldn't be seeing someone's therapy session. Yeah. It was like, it was cool to be on, but at the same time I was like, wow, I was just very vulnerable, very publicly. Right. And like, I'm pretty open for the most part on the internet, internet. But yeah, that was one of the first times where I was really diving into my psyche on a stream.

Does switching to your real... Not that your name was private prior to the brand change, but does switching to just straightforward, regular personal name content-wise feel a little more vulnerable? It's not so much the shield of Crank Gameplays as a brand. That's a good question. Thanks, man.

Because thinking about it, that was such a good question, dude. His suck shit, mine was good. Fucking put it there, brother. That was so good. That means a lot. Things are not going well for him. This is the best thing that's happened in all week um that's a really good question actually because sometimes i'll stream uh and people get a little

bit more of like a realistic version of me on stream because i'm like way more chill and just like sitting there whereas when i'm recording everything's a lot more fast paced and like energetic and stuff yeah so people have come into stream and be like, are you okay? You seem really sad. And it's like, no, I'm just not yelling. Yeah. Like, and so I've always described Crank Gameplays as like a hyper-exaggerated version of myself. Right.

But now I'm just Ethan Nester. Is Ethan Nester a hyper-exaggerated version of Ethan? Who am I? Oh, shit. Fuck. Did Crank Gameplays die or did Ethan die and his name was Transplant? Oh, fuck. No, that's –

I don't know. What you're describing is a very real experience because I probably talked about this on the podcast before, but when I started streaming, people exclusively knew me from edited YouTube content. Yeah. And in edited YouTube content, you don't experience the range of human emotion. Like for example, I don't YouTube video get annoyed by some idiot in the chat. And so like, I'll like have like a snarky comment at someone in the chat because they're annoying and they're faceless right and then i had like people on my

subreddit right like about jarvis's personality and i'm like whoa but but what it is is the the delta between like what they the sort of parasocial ideal of what i was in an edited context where i'm like i've always got a know, a quippy joke versus someone who like, isn't cutting out the breaths as they're like talking, you know? Yeah. Cause like with an edited thing, why wouldn't you want it to?

I mean like, obviously there's a good time and place for this to not happen, but like, I feel like for entertainment purposes, why wouldn't you want to cut out the more uninteresting stuff? Oh, yeah. It's a performance. There's a conventional editing style for YouTube content,

and it would feel weird to just completely throw away the existing wisdom. It works. People are watching the video, so why would you tweak that? But then you're live and acting like a human being, or somebody meets you in person yeah and there's like wow they're nervous but it was like i oh me too as well they meet you in real life and they're like all your breaths are there what the heck yeah this is so weird are you okay you're so like you're breathing and stuff it's really weird you look like shit do you worry

but yeah you're not color graded right now it's weird wording me out do you ever worry about when you meet people in real life that you're like leaving a the impression that they expect um all the time um i think it's maybe just because i'm anxious but i can like immediately tell if somebody has recognized me in public and then I'll get really nervous about it in the sense of, I'll be like, have I been looking happy enough this whole time that I've been existing in this space? Like what if they see me and they're like,

Oh man, he looks sad. Yeah. I, yeah. I dropped my guard for a mere moment and experienced emotions. Yeah. I'm so sorry to whoever may have witnessed that my bad i do get that all

the time a little after you let we got dinner with uh eddie and ted and and a few other people what last week um and then uh after you had left right as we were wrapping up check paid uh this kid comes over he's maybe 15 16 comes over with his family and it's like are you jordan adika no actually he didn't ask he said you're jordan adika but saves time right and you said yes hell yeah you have no idea who i am and what i'm capable of yeah i know ethan nester that's right who crank it's no it's a whole thing he hasn't announced who I am and what I'm capable of. Yeah, I know Ethan Nestor. That's right. Who?

No, it's a whole thing. He hasn't announced it yet. It's the past, so that hasn't come out yet. But as soon as that happened, I'm like, yeah, Jarvis was here as well. I'm like, yeah? And it was like, I watch Sad Boys. I'm like, okay, well, shit,

he probably knows this is happening. Oh, fuck. Well, anyway, you were very nice, very polite. But as soon as that happened i'm like wow i was low energy right yeah i hope i didn't have any jokes that whiffed and yeah just ate shit and saw the whole thing of you say something nobody laughed and then you're just like nobody heard me because the server was coming over and then i'm like i tried the same one again but somebody else had said it during the ordering like food i didn't want i know it's fine when um i went to like maybe this was last week i went to an improv show in santa monica with like one of my friends from college and his wife and Jessica, Jessica Crabb, a friend of the show.

Vintage Jessica Crabb. Vintage Jessica Crabb. She's like a friend of ours who's not a content creator, but she's been in some videos, so people might know her. After the improv show, we were just standing around and then somebody was like, Hey, are you Jarvis Johnson? And I went, yeah. Oh, the context was, uh, I, I was super tired and I had just driven like across town and it was like after midnight and I knew I was about to have to drive back. And I was like kind of and i knew i was about to have to drive back and i was like kind of getting like mentally prepared like people were gonna go out to a bar and i was like

i'm beat guys i gotta drive back home and so in that moment i'm like sort of all that's what's going through my head and somebody's like here you jarvis and then like i like don't even register like my brain is in that place but i like meant to like pick it up for this person. But I was just like, yeah. And they're like, Oh, I'm sorry.

Am I like interrupting? No, no, no. I'm sorry. This is awesome. Like let's, thank you so much.

I'm just like bummed that I am. Is that pissing you off? I agree. Is it generally the same kind of people for both of you? As far as audience? Individually, yeah. Like, do you often get approached by the same person, same type of person? Yeah, his name is Greg.

He will not leave me alone. Yeah, it's a problem. He's probably at my house right now. Oh, well, real quick. Sorry. That experience, like, I could not get out of my head the whole day. And then I checked my DMs and they DM me and was like, Hey,

it was nice to meet you. Sorry if I'm interrupting or I was interrupting. And I was like, no, but thank God you messaged me. Cause now I can like apologize even though they like didn't, it didn't register to them. But in my head I was like,

Oh no, I wish I was the right guy. The guy you expected. I hope that everything was good. I hope that I did. I hope I didn't ask if you were jervis johnson you work and you lied but um but yeah uh going back to jordan's question about people who approach it's a bit of a mix but i think you like there is that sixth sense of like

it's really just like what you you can feel when you're being watched yeah it's like the the animal instinct yeah just like i know that somebody is watching me it's hard to separate from just being anxious all the time anyway right it's like am i being myself yeah the worst is like i love when people just come out and and are like hey love your your stuff. That's ideal. One time, this has only happened once, I was at Phil's and somebody was sitting. I was on my laptop and they're like where Jordan is

and they're just looking at me and I'm just like, do, do, do, do, do, and I'm just kind of working and I can't do the thing where I'm like- You're talking about Phil's coffee's coffee yeah phil's coffee oh this was phil i was in phil defranco's house what i was thinking and i was like this is really interesting no no sorry sorry phil's for us is like it's kind of in the extended sad boys lore because we used to have it like every episode because when we were living in san francisco but yeah so i was at phil's coffee and somebody was like just like

kind of breathing down my neck with their eyes and i couldn't do the thing i can't be like hi you probably recognize me from the internet would you like an autograph or perhaps a picture like like that would be insane hi i'm afraid you're scaring me i don't know what to do yeah and so i was just like can you just like i i like didn't know how to end the interaction because i just wanted them to come out and say something eventually they did um but i probably think in the future if that were to happen i'd be like hey how's it going like because you're just in my space yeah and i feel like uh if someone was in my space normally i would be able to just be like hey hey what's up are you good like is everything fine does anybody ever say hey you crank game plays oh i i do get

that a fair amount uh i also i also get uh you look like cranking a lot which is really funny when you're right you're right, you're right. And sometimes I feel bad about doing this, but it is kind of funny where I'll be like, yeah, I get that a lot. I hear he's kind of a dick, though. And then if they catch on, then great, but if they don't,

I'll just leave it at that sometimes. And then I'll be like, well, thanks, bye. Yeah, and then there's like a Redditdit post where it's like i met a guy and he said uh he heard crank game was kind of sucked ass yeah he's kind of an asshole and that becomes the rumor then then people are like oh i was expecting you to be such a dick and that's why i had to rebrand right that happened so many times and i was just like yeah crank game plays is an asshole where it started to catch up to me so I was like oh fuck yeah Sean's been spreading the same yeah he's been saying a lot of the same stuff

I guess Sean gets that because people will be like assume his name is Jack I have to assume that happens 100% of the time yeah he does get that a lot where people are like you look like Jack Septiceye yeah especially like when he's here in LA because people are like oh he doesn't live in LA

why would he's here in LA because people are like, Oh, he doesn't live. Why would he be here? I do love, do you guys ever get when you're like at a coffee shop or wherever where people are like, why are you here? It's like, uh, to get coffee.

Yeah. Yeah. I just checked your channel. There's no one on any of the videos. You got to get back in the video. Yeah. Why are you. That's so funny. I got that at a grocery store once where they're like, what are you doing here?

Don't you have like a person? Yeah. Don't you have your like, I don't know, maid do this for you? Can you go to the special store where you're supposed to be? Don't all the famous people go to the famous people place? It's like you're here at Ralph's.

Don't you only go to Erewhon? Yeah. Why aren't you drinking, I don't know, Kylie Jenner's milkshake or whatever the fuck from Erewhon? It's like a smoothie. And it's not Kylie Jenner. It's like Kendall Jenner, right? Isn't that who has a smoothie at Erewhon?

Yeah. It has collagen in it. Yeah, for your skin, I presume. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting has like collagen in it. Yeah. For your skin, I presume. Cool. Really? Yeah. Interesting. Let's go. Okay.

Yeah. We taste test it. That's more likely to be where somebody's like, why are you here? Yeah. That would make sense. What are you doing here?

Congentially related to taste testing Kylie Jenner's collagen. Yeah. KJC? No notes. You guys were texting me earlier about a thing to taste test but we can't

yeah okay so here's the plan okay to tell you what you were missing here's what you're missing burger king made the most disgusting looking sandwich i didn't know about this until you texted me about it yeah it's so bright so yeah so there is actually, let me start recording in OBS. Is that Shane Dawson? No, no, I didn't know that. Don't worry. We were kind of a huge fan of him. Why?

Did something happen? I don't understand, guys. Shane's my guy, dude. The Spider-Verse sequel is coming out. Across the Spider-Verse, I think it's called? Yes. And Burger King is doing a collab with the movie in which they are making a Whopper.

And it's just a whopper uh well there's two things different about it the whopper it has a red bun oh does it like yeah that's what you're looking at here and then also and this one is only if you really are like into burger king lore whoppers don't have cheese by default. You gotta like order them with cheese. And so this Whopper comes with Swiss cheese. Oh, because it's in a different dimension

or something? Yeah. It's like, you know when Spider-Man like shoots webs, that's actually Swiss cheese. This looks like a pretty patty from SpongeBob. when Spider-Man shoots webs, that's actually Swiss cheese. This looks like Pretty Patty from SpongeBob. It's so fucking vibrant.

I remember there's the dark one too, right? Oh, yeah. Yes. It really does. Also, actually, if someone hasn't tweeted that, you got to get on that. Miles Morales' costume is not red.

You're right. I don't know why. Well, they've made, I feel like black buns is too often done. But as like a novelty. I will say at least they can probably get access to it as opposed to the shortage of red dye. Right. So the reason that we

cannot have our uh red bun that's apparently dyed red with beet juice is we were like calling all the burger kings in the area and they're like there's an outage and all the burger kings have been the chip shortage yeah yeah 49 is red the two things graphics cards and red buns strangely manufactured at the same place don't tell Shane Dawson but yeah like

they've been told that they're out across across the spider verse actually they're they're out what is that email? Well, because... Attention, Burger King. This is coming from Top Brass.

Treat... Consider yourselves out of burger... Of red buns. They should have known in advance, right? Check this dog. You would think, right? Like, maybe it's more popular than they expected, but I can't imagine it is.

Burger King is like not that popular to begin with. The only people buying it are us. Yeah. So I thought. I think that Burger King as far as fast food goes is pretty low tier. In my book. Yeah. Mid performance.

It's pretty mid. I will say I have a personal relationship with burger king because have you talked about that on the podcast yet i don't know i think so well because like you and burger king like you guys have always like shown up at parties and stuff yeah yeah and i we haven't like gone like public exactly yeah um burger prince so yeah we couldn't get the red burger what did they tell you well sorry so did you call and you were like yeah we called multiple burger kings and they said that they said that all the burger kings have been told that they are out of the red bun because of an outage a shortage every king yeah they said they said

if you have if if they have it they have it but there's no way to know without going into the store so that's a really weird i feel like that's a really weird thing for you to be told like why wouldn't they just say oh no sorry we're out of them i know why did they give us so much information why did we accidentally call corporate burger king headquarters we've been told that we're out which also what is what does that mean i don't know uh why wouldn't you just say yeah sorry we're told out of them i look i have no idea i it almost reminds me of back when i was a kid and i wanted like specific toys and you would and like they would call like i think that happened maybe during pokemon stuff

where you'd call and be like hey do you have like the special pokemon toy hold on this throws up sorry i don't want to do this uh so i actually have burger king toys i just realized i had these uh this is a random thing that I own. I don't know why. I have sealed Burger King toys from the Pokemon first movie. Oh, it's like a little Mewtwo? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love how you just had those loose over there. Yeah, because I just moved. I was mentioning this and then I was like, oh, my bag of, like literally it's a set. Oh my God. And it's all sealed sealed these aren't worth

a lot of not all of them shoot they're not i also have yeah complete your collection of 57 pokemon only a burger oh two dollars off the video this one is open hey it popped open who's in there so what is this is this the jigglypuff that's a- oh, Clefairy. The Joker? So yeah, these toys were high quality. Why does it have a butt plug? I'll show you why it has a butt plug. Okay. I don't know if the camera's able to get this, but-

What the hell? Whoa! Wait, yo! That's so cool. Wow, he's really on. Damn. What is this? Dude, these toys used to be sick.

No, they all had different things that they did. Oh, it's just Clefairy that goes sick on mode? I think a couple of them do that, and I think some of the other ones do other stuff. Wow. Shout-outs to anybody leaving the comment about it not being Clefairy. My bad.

Clefable, yeah. Did you say Clefairy? Yeah, Clefairy. It costs $4,000. Yeah, so I don't know. I mean, part of me does want to open these, but I know I have some of them like, I have some of them opened.

I think there's some sort of, I get, oh oh yeah here we go there's a little insert can i just say that happy meal toys used to be way better i haven't gotten a happy meal in uh yeah i sound like i get happy meals all the time like i'm getting toys every week they still do them? Yeah. That's sad now, though. That's so sad. Sad meals. It's COVID. It's like Pokemon, the first movie, available on VHS and DVD March 2000. I love shit like this, man. It just takes me back to my childhood.

Oh, yeah. So you can get Golems, a spinning top. Yeah, so some of these are... Oh, Geodude's a a gun that's cool hell yeah I mean I assume Diglett is not spinning right it's kind of a tall thing I don't think they all spin but rev tops it looks like they all spin

here let's open up another one wow we're gonna open up another this one definitely doesn't spin I can feel it doesn't have the hardiness to it yeah this one's like a squeaker this one's this is like a polywag it's insane that I know this without

opening the bag this is a polywag that like spits water so you like suck up water and then like you squeeze it and it spits out water so they some of them do different things some of them squirt. Yeah You're such an unassuming Pokemon person in this one is a plushie this one's a plushie. Yeah. Oh Yeah, I will take this yeah, I don't know why I'm like this man I just kind of always I've always been a Pokemon guy, but I don't who is this?

Who's that Pokemon? Oh Not a little bit of a sandbag in it Sorry you suck shit The only reason I know how to do it is cuz I did it as a kid. Ooh, that one was good. I don't actually know. We should just look at pictures online of these. Yeah, dude. We should go get a Happy Meal.

How many? Oh, man. Maybe I'll get a Happy Meal after this. Because I was on Sad Boys. I have to counteract that. Peanuts, brother, maybe. No, don't do that. We could just eat peanuts on the podcast no well actually we did get sorry let me put this down um we did get pastries and i in for a brief moment forgot that you have like a deadly peanut allergy and

it is probably the case that peanuts were not used to make these pastries but because it's such a severe allergy better safe than sorry yes so you said that on the podcast you would show us what you do in this situation and i don't know what that means yeah so let's break open these bad boys all right so here's what we got. So usually I would just call the place that we get them. Oh, yeah. And we can't mention the name because I want it to be. I don't want to dox one of our favorite places. But they don't have a phone number.

They only do email. That was actually wild. I'm going to check to see if they responded to my email. Oh, yeah. You did email them. That's right. Check your email. Let responded to my email. Oh, yeah, you did email them. Check your email. Let's do a live. So we've got like a maple donut.

We've got probably a cherry donut. Yes. No way to call them and verify. Cinnamon sugar and then a morning bun. What is a morning bun? It's like a little croissant roll with like cinnamon or with like sugar. It's M-O-U-R. It's if you die from eating the peanut. Like if dies yes get someone a morning bun so hold on wait give me the box i'll show you

what i do so if i'm not sure about something don't just stuff it in your mouth and be like now you gotta call the emergency room so i'll take a little tiny i'll take a little tiny... I'll take a little tiny bit. Yeah. It's so flaky. Yeah, it's croissant-y. So I'll just take like a little... He's going to die. Because we know that it's not a peanut thing.

Right, right. You don't, though, because you don't know what a morning bud is. You just said... That's true. So we will be in mourning after this. Okay. of morning birdies you just said that's true so we will be in morning after this okay um so most most likely that won't kill me great for clickbait but we'll find out okay if i start to get like a little bit hivy

dude we were we were talking i won't eat anymore we were talking about it. So is that the like if you you know obviously that's not a peanut. It's like Edwardian science. Ill humors. Yeah yeah. Do you get a place that you get hives normally? I get them everywhere. But my back I think

is a place that I get them a lot. My arms. My body. My legs legs no it's everywhere so i usually start to get they they will go everywhere but they'll usually start on my forearm so we were talking before about hives uh i have a i have like chronic urticaria which is just like chronic hives and um but it's it's like an autoimmune thing where it's not i've never heard about this there's a subreddit uh it's your subreddit which is actually i wonder urticaria reddit a subreddit for all who suffer with various urticaria is uh one year of chronic hives cured. Why don't you just do that? This isn't what mine look like.

This isn't what mine look like. That's what mine look like. Yummy. We won't show it. I think it'll probably gross people out. That's what it looks like. It looks like little countries. Can we get a wrist check real quick? It would probably

happen in the span of a couple minutes oh hell yeah dude it's so allergies are nothing to play around oh man that is such a good idea i should purposely give myself an allergy attack and do an allergy attack speed run and see like how quickly my body reacts don't do that yeah wow that's so good though also you were you were talking about like the old like sciencey thing of like how people that's not but allergies that's what they do like for an allergy test they're literally like let's poke you with 50 different things yep and see if your body reacts so i did a research study when I was in high school for immunotherapy. So it was just to see if you could build up a tolerance.

In your case, two peanuts? So I, at the end of the study, I had to drop out because I was having like random reactions where the variables weren't changing. I was taking the same dose every day at the same exact time. Sometimes I would have a reaction. Sometimes I wouldn't. So it just got like, uh, honestly it,

it was just inconvenient to not know when I was going to have a reaction or not. It does sometimes feel as though like we've come so far with medicine and every now and then especially actually with with mental health meds they're just like hey how does this work why doesn't it work for some people i've asked my psych that he's like who's to say yeah hey man it's not a freaking science i don't know i don't know i just sent you a oh yeah photos of me having an allergic reaction this is very relatable to me i used to there's like days where i like look like this and i couldn't go to school yeah because uh or i would

have a thing happen where my knees would get like super inflamed and i couldn't walk so i would just like weird yeah it would be like it would be like my uh the tightness and swelling, it was almost like when those little hives, this is so just like, I don't know if this is a trigger warning or whatever, but this is so nasty sounding to me. Like if I was listening to this and I didn't know what it was like, then it would sound nasty.

But anyway, all those little countries kind of like combine and it generates this swell into my joints and then I like can't like move anything weird yeah it's crazy so the what we were just saying about like it's crazy how you just like do it and see what happens

um the start of the research study uh so the goal was to see how many peanuts I could eat basically this was not a study. It's like a cursed YouTube challenge. Yeah. Was this done by,

did the doctor have like a beak mask? Oh, yeah, damn. I'm gonna eat four peanuts, see if I die. Literally, the start of the research study was, we have to see what your tolerance is. So you have to just keep eating peanuts until you go into anaphylactic shock and i could

back out they were like you can back out at any time and you can say hey i've had enough we're not just gonna like force you into this but we would like to see like what your how much you can take and so in the name of science i did did that. Yeah. And so they just kept giving me small, they start with like microscopic doses of peanut flour and then slowly like build it up. So this was over the course of like an entire day.

But yeah, I just kept eating small doses of peanut flour until I had a reaction. It was sick. I wish I could contribute, but when I was a kid instead of getting allergies and stuff I was busy being hot and getting laid I should have prioritized this kind of stuff

yeah that was the whole thing is like every time I went to you know have sex it was just like oh man I have all these hives and I've had sex and I've had a lot of it I know where it goes I know where it goes i'm not scared

did you uh ethan did you have any kind of like uh self-consciousness related to that to like oh i'm at school and i can't eat the thing um i always now i really love halloween growing up i really hated halloween because i always felt very left out um i did have um at my school in elementary school once i hit middle school then my parents were a little bit less paranoid because i was smarter um but when i was in elementary school i had my own private table because there were because like when you're a kid there's so much so many people are bringing peanut butter and jelly to school so i had my own private table and you could only come and eat at the table if i invited you and you had a safe lunch um which sounds so cool and exclusive but when you're a child it's just like oh man no

literally like i don't know how to make friends so So I'm just eating alone every day. At some point as a teenager, like affectations become cool a little bit. Like, yeah, this thing's unique or whatever, but until exactly that point, children will roast you for just your shoes are taller or something like, this is nothing that you should be getting,

but it'll get you. So we've done this podcast for so long, but I feel like I've talked about all of my life's experiences. You know what I mean? How long have you guys been doing Sad Boys? Okay, well, the current... That's private. Sorry.

I'm swelling. I'm allergic to that question. The current iteration of the show, where we're doing it every week, has only been going on for a few months. Right, Jacob? I don't actually know. Since February.

But prior to that, there was a different era of the show where we were doing it remotely, which is a question I wanted to ask you because Sean does not live here. And then initially the show started in San francisco in 2017 it started in la actually but but we did it when we were both working at patreon uh and we it was like pretty regular back is that how you guys met yeah that was a five dollar tier you get to be friends with me yeah yeah i met him through the Patreon account of Patreon, the company, where you could befriend any of their employees for $5.99. Do you remember that? There was a Patreon Patreon.

Oh, yeah. For like six months. What was on the Patreon Patreon? It was just a newsletter. So you had to pay for the newsletter? To get updates about the, I think it was literally just like as many case studies on the website as possible was good. Did it have a lot of patrons

because it's the Patreon on Patreon? No. It's like if you go to the Yelp page for Yelp, the company, it has like one and a half stars. Wow. That's where everybody directs their hate about random stuff. They should do something about that. Look no further to like,

people are like, sorry, I'm eating. What am I doing? No, you can eat. what else are they for other than to testify people are like oh yeah we got nothing disappointing enjoy yourself a morning bun i guess i can have a morning bun please they were uh there's always conspiracies about how you can pay to get all the special treatment from Yelp. But I feel like if that existed, Yelp would make their own page not look like a garbage fire. It's pathetic how bad it is.

Oh, you mean that restaurants will pay for artificial reviews? Everyone has a story about my aunt's grandma's uncle or whatever uh got a call from yelp and they said they would remove all the bad reviews if they paid us money or whatever that is true actually i did get those calls not for cranking places uh back when i worked at a restaurant yeah we would get those calls a lot of like people from yelp calling i think they're i think they're impersonating yelp it's a good reason to not have a phone number yeah actually there you go i guess not that bad an idea damn hey be ashamed if something happened to your yelp page yeah do you think that they call restaurants and like blackmail them i think they do that was not yelp but like i think people scam

i mean yeah there's like bad review fetishist people, right? That go to restaurants and write bad reviews. Yeah, I'm mean. That's what I do. Yeah. I've never written a Yelp review. The people who write Yelp reviews are... Hold on.

Careful, careful. Simmer down. Well, let me just say that like, as someone who worked at Yelp, I spent a of time wait you worked at yelp i did work at yelp yeah that's a random yeah random fun fact he was one of the stars before i worked before i worked at patreon yeah i actually i was the third one so i got a lot of use literally bit yeah i was the mid star um so before i worked at patreon i worked at yelp as a software engineer and the uh because i was working on the website i would read you would just read reviews all the time because you would just see the data you know what i mean and i developed such a disdain for people who write Yelp reviews because they're all so self-important that like – and this isn't every Yelp review.

But like the people who are in Yelp Elite, which is like if you know – it's one of those if you know you know things. But if you like write a ton of reviews that get a certain amount of ratings or whatever every january there's a new class of like yelp elites and there's a badge like xxl freshman literally there's like there's like a badge on your on your uh account where it's like yelp elite 2014 or whatever and it comes up on your reviews so it like makes it seem like you're more elite yeah um and there's a world where youtube could have been like this because youtube used to run off of the five star system oh yeah yeah before likes on youtube there were five star ratings imagine if commenters on youtube were like um i don't usually like giving a zero star review, but this video deserves one.

It was not engaging. There was not someone yelling at the top of their lungs. It was too loud. There weren't enough. My volume was at the top. This gold digger prank gets five stars from me. T-Zets, I forget that when you're streaming. Speaking of like volume, the volume was too loud.

I'll get people who are like, Ethan, the stream volume is low. And like, I can see the waveforms. And a lot of times, like, I'll pull up my streams after or during and be like, no, the volume's fine. You just have to turn up your own volume. Your volume is low.

The feeling. Same thing happened with phone calls and every channel i've ever seen this really quiet and the phone's off the the feeling of streaming and having some people go it's too low and some people go it's too high makes me want to rip off my own skin like i just want to like so awful become a skeleton um hey the network connection's really bad it keeps dropping down also my phone's out of battery. Yeah. My dad.

And that's your fault. Yeah. My dad is left for a milk and he hasn't come back. This was so good. Hell yeah, dude. Morning bun positive. No peanuts. I'll tell you the name of it later because it's a place that I go and there is someone

who works there who's a fan of yours. Oh, it's this place. Damn. Yeah. How did that come up? Just by chance? I don't remember. It was so random.

Shout out to Sophie. You know who you are. So they have a server named Sophie and there's no phone number. There's no phone number. So figure it out. Geo guesser. Morning buns.

They do have morning buns. They are great. No peanuts turns out. I mean, check my email. Oh, that would be so funny. My email is just like, yeah, it's just the morning buns. I did actually get a response. Did you?

Yeah. And it's going to be like we can't guarantee anything because we have other things that are they actually said we are peanut free jarvis hope that helps hello oh that's great wait when did we get the reply did they wait five minutes ago they waited they do yeah wow that's they were like i can hold on he might be ingesting the morning bun i need to there's like a homing device in every morning but running to the airport i. I love you. Don't go. Yeah. I'm peanut free. My man.

And I love you. Every time that I've had a first kiss with somebody, I've had to be like, hey, you haven't eaten peanuts today, right? Dude, that's a turn off for me, actually. That's cute. Really fun. Hey, you haven't eaten peanuts today, right? Dude, that's a term for me. That's cute. Hey, you taste insane. If you... I want to say

people act like asking to kiss someone or like asking for consent or whatever kills the moment. i think that those people are just bad at asking the question i don't think they're sweeties or they just don't have the riz because i feel like you can riz up somebody while being like uh before we do this peanuts have you before we do this how many peanuts have been eating peanuts, have you? Before we do this, how many peanuts have you had?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I would still kiss you. You just gotta know how to do it. Kind of related, I was talking to our mutual friend Rosie, Jasmine Rice Girl, about this and she was like, damn, like, if

someone ate peanuts and then you had sex and then you died, they could just be like, damn, pussy so good it killed a man. Which is like. Doing the eulogy. Might be on that one. Yeah, sorry guys. Died the way he lived, you know.

Yeah, it's like, that's like, there's some, sorry, I'm trying to think of the joke that's something about nut free and sex. Something about that. It's being an incel. Something in there. Yeah, being nut free. Did you guys see that Reddit post and thread and argument? This is like a month ago at this point.

But there was in the, I guess the red pill subreddit. I don't know which ones have been banned or whatever, but in a prominent incel subreddit right shout outs fellas uh they don't generally accept or or value um ascending i believe is the term which is when an incel has sex and has thus betrayed the ideology or whatever um which is i mean that's just that's like a vol cell isn't it because if you're choosing not to have sex that's not being an incel i saw the thing on twitter where people were like earnestly engaging with somebody who had like ascended and they were asking him like why did you do this why did you betray us i didn't realize that there was that much like culture and community around incels like i thought that

i thought that people just called incels incels is like a you know so it was like a cavern i didn't know that people like yeah there's people who identify as themselves it's that's kind of their identity the the genesis is people identifying themselves that way yeah and within like red pill community or manosphere whatever yeah and then it once that hit the mainstream that kind of became the it's the worst slur in america i think we can i think so unless you got any any do you like oh uh peanut lover peanut boy peanut oh this motherfucker's a peanut boy i love um the concept of like the thing that keeps coming to mind is someone like having sex and then his friends going did you

hear the news and they all they all come to him like he's on a hospital bed. And then he like leans forward and angel wings come out of his back. He's just glowing. He's like, I've ascended. I'm no longer an incel. Anyway, there was just like an extended argument. Because this fella came into the subreddit not with a, boys, I have ascended. I've appreciated my time here, whatever.

Instead, he came in and was literally just like you're a bunch of virgin losers oh i thought you were gonna say that he like made his own eulogy i once was lost here lives here lives never never lover one two three he was a great incel man i i kind of want to go on the incel reddit now sometimes it's probably very sad yeah it's probably a real bummer yeah all the highly voted ones are like the tate brothers are out of jail whatever oh yeah do you uh being associated with like video game stuff do you ever feel as though your algorithm maybe rubs up against a right wing pipeline type things. No, but it did start doing it kind of recently.

I don't know if you got this Jarvis, but specifically on Instagram, Instagram, because of creator, I was watching a lot of boxing videos and then I started getting recommended a lot of like Joe Rogan, a lot of like hype, you see kind of people.

Um, yeah, I get that on, on shorts because I watched like a lot of like joe rogan a lot of like hype you see kind of people um yeah i get that on on shorts because i watch like a lot of a fair amount of like exercise stuff but primarily i watch a lot of like gaming content yeah and i think it's identified that my age and interest in gaming has lined me up with joe rogan as opposed to ben shap. If I was a little younger, maybe it would put me in the pipeline space, but instead it's like Brendan Schaub talking about you know you can wear different socks and they stop you from turning gay from the fillings in your teeth.

Every fucking episode of Joe Rogan. How did we get here? I've seen so many funny TikToks recently of people being like, this is every man with a podcast and it's like can I blow your mind real quick and then it's a video of being like they say that

the distance from the earth to the moon is 93,642 lions but if you look it up actually there's only 15,000 lions in existence on the planet so either they're lying about the number of lines

or it's so funny it's such a good take my mind's been blown i know i feel old yeah you feel old yet you look like shit speaking of wanting to feel old i i've been dying to talk about this all episode we talked about this is kind of a few episodes in a row he mentioned i show speed huge youtube streamer i have never seen a stream of his it's loud it's loud okay it feels a little like traveling back in time yeah it's it's it is what was appealing to us at the age of his demographic i feel like which i it's not necessarily a bad thing but it's like eating sour gummies now yeah something has happened physically where i just don't have the tolerance yeah i don't think i i think i've always been a bit of an old man even as a boy because i liked eating bran flakes sorry just even as a boy

even as a boy even as a i was an old man and i was a youngling yeah i think i've always like but i get it i totally get what you mean but anyway i i should be incredibly successful incredibly wealthy there is a clip that went viral i don't even need to know the context because it's just beautiful poetry in motion he accidentally bought a 125 000 fedora in roblox and then he like gets genuinely upset about it i would also get genuinely upset about it. I would also get genuinely upset about it. Even if I just had like an insane amount of fucking money where it wouldn't impact me at all. But the thing is, the thing that's worth noting. I haven't seen the clip.

I know that it happened. I didn't even know that. I know Roblox is very popular and the economy is obviously like pretty established. I did not know it was at a six-figure tier. That's like Counter-Strike money. I didn't either. The people, the developers, there's a lot of video essays and things

talking about how weirdly exploitative the space of Roblox development is because there's a lot of money, a lot of children, a lot of people with no employment experience that are just ripe for the exploitation. But also worth noting that in order to do this, he had to have $125,000 in Robux already. It's not like buy it now. It's not like connected to a credit card.

There's a great don't know but this is it's so like this is so i like feel bad laughing at this but i think he's able to refund it and also i mean whatever man i there's there's there i feel like there is a justification for showing this and i don't need to like run this man's name through the mud but uh yeah no no i got a refund no no why did they ask for a verification why did they give me a verification oh my god yeah i mean i would say for exactly this reason is why they don't ask for verification. But you can customize it. You see that? So here's a question. Did Roblox just get 125 grand or did some kid?

Well, that's a great question because- Yeah, it's like a CPM split or something. What's crazy is this says buy Roblox and it says verified. So I'm like the Roblox company is selling items for 14 million robux which translates to like 150 grand yeah i've always wondered that about i mean i'm sure this information is more available but the csgo marketplace sure there's third-party gambling sites but valve still has the information on who has what and there must be some kind of revenue

split between them. There is, I think. I think that they take something off the transaction. Which maybe is why they're not super diligent about shutting that down. That is a really good point that you made though, Jarvis, is that he already had to

have that money. In fact, when you look look here it says your balance after this transaction will be like either five or six million oh robux so like he had he put 20 and my guess is he put 20 million robux in there and then he accidentally purchased this maybe they don't ask for verification when you buy it yeah when you put the so i'm like it's hard to like it's hard to feel bad because he was already going to buy some sort of cosmetic item in this video game yeah i'm not worried about speed's bag for sure right you can see right here he's making 150 000 a month yeah uh so what's the what's the conversion there i want one dollar per yeah robux what is it give me um oh see okay here we go here we go here we go during a stream a viewer goaded speed into

checking out the fedora on his discord while he was checking out expensive roblox items seeing the price speed decided it would be funny to bait his viewers into thinking he was going to purchase the fedora but back out at the confirmation screen and then at this moment he fucked up however he did not realize he was about to click on the confirmation button and unwittingly made one of the most expensive fedora purchases

this barely reaches the most expensive fedora at 15 million roblox what do you reckon that fedora is god that this one doesn't what's the expensive fedora at 15 million Roblox. What do you reckon that fedora's got that this one doesn't? What's the worst fedora got? It's just a highly polygonal fedora, guys. According to Roblox calculator, it would cost approximately $175,000

to purchase 14 million Robux. Roblox? Robux, yeah. Robux needed to buy the fedora. However, it is possible to resell it, but Speed won't be making much of his money back. I don't know if that's... No, that's true. A bona fide Speed sale, though.

That would be kind of sick. Can you sign that? Yeah. I mean, it's essentially an NFT. It is. At that point. It is basically an NFT. Yeah.

You're right. That's so fucking funny yeah i mean i mean look he's he's like a teenager still i think he's like 19 or 20 is he really yeah damn and it's like but like it's a video game and he's so extremely wealthy that i can't feel that bad looks like such a weird presence in that in my also he like called he like uh you know has made racist comments to people at the world cup and stuff he's like got his fair share of controversies and so all things considered whatever yeah you know what i mean yeah i mean he's not gonna be hurt he's not going to be hurt. He's not hurting. Yeah, exactly. At all. I just, I do wonder what the, like my ex's nephew, I literally met them two times.

They were playing Roblox the entire time right after school, right? And their relationship with Roblox mirrored kind of what I understood modern Fortnite to be. Whereas it's less of a game and more just a vector for a bunch of different, like go to a marshmallow concert, do whatever, right? All this meta text inside of a, you know, drop off the battle bus and then give you, if you kiss Kylo Ren, you get access to it.

You can mine real Ethereum. Just like five layers of inaccessible, whatever. But I've never felt, and this kind of fits into that box, I've never felt less in touch with the meta, the gaming meta. I didn't even see it go by, right? You don't know what the last time you pick up your son is going to be. I thought I was up to date and informed, but I don't know what happened. I don't know anything about Roblox. Me either, except for I thought it was up to date and informed, but I don't know what happened. I don't know anything about Roblox.

Me either, except for I thought it was a game and then I learned it was like, it's an engine or it's a platform and then it's a bunch of games built around the platform. Oh. Yeah, it's like Dreams, that PlayStation exclusive for a little while. Oh, yeah.

It's like a successful version of Dreams. Oh, I remember that. Speaking of being out of the loop on things, Ethan and I were talking about this earlier. Jordan, you didn't know what we were talking about. A couple of cool fellas over here. Just a little peanut boy over here. I don't remember what we were talking about.

Oh, it was about Couchgate. Oh! Yes. Oh! Oh! Oh oh show a little side ass oh you're crazy this one rick um so yeah show a little side ass for couch gate so couch gate is actually about us showing too much side ass on the couch what could it mean yeah do you have any guess? So my initial guess was it's in the vein of like the dress or Yanny Laurel, right? So it is not in the way

of everyone's trying to guess something about the couch. Okay. But yes, in a way that everyone's talking about it and everyone has hot takes about it. Is it a controversy? In a way.

Is it a what? Controversy. Oh. Controversy. Sorry, I'm his translator. Kind of. A controversy. Podcast that's just me and Sean. Yeah.

Nobody can understand that. Oh, he can't believe there's another controversy. Coach Gates. Come on, man. don't tell him um so if you look at the image oh yeah the couch let me see if this is why is everyone on twitter talking about this blue couch it's not an article that tells you. It's written by me. What the fuck is this, man?

Can somebody explain this to me? I'm so confused. Yeah, please help. So. Yeah, why am I having so much trouble finding? Well, it's this, but yeah, here we go. Here's the image. This is the couch.

Why are people so upset? So let me give you a hint. It is not necessarily about the couch itself. Yeah. Though that's an element in the sort of discourse. Yeah. Because I was going to say it's like made of clay or something. No, it's more about the...

I feel like I would never guess this um but basically there's something to do with the manufacturer no so this is an expensive couch it's one of those couches that's like um a designer like in in if you like first of all couches in general are expensive and rugs that's the same couches and rugs yeah and then when you get into like designer couches and stuff you can get into the many thousands of dollars cloutches cloutches in fact yeah guys so this this couch is like eight thousand dollars from the um manufacturer or from the original designer. And the controversy or whatever, the reason that people talk about it is – I'm going to show you. Hi, guys.

This is me finding an $8,000 couch in the middle of the street. Here's a quick story time. It was pouring and raining and I was walking home and I saw this couch in the middle of the street and I called my dad begging him to come pick it up because I couldn't just leave that couch there he told me no it was not possible but then he surprised me and showed me that he did pick up the couch and he had it in his work office but the couch was really dirty so he said we had to clean it so we got all the things we needed to clean it some soap water a vacuum and that's my sister using a little machine thing and I was really interested in how that works because i think she was doing it wrong but as you see that was me scrubbing my life away

to make sure this house gets as clean as possible but that's satisfying right there very satisfying and then i got tired so i let them do all the work look how dirty it was this is the after we had to let it dry and we let it dry for a few days and this is my boyfriend and my dad bringing the couch into my apartment. We didn't know if it was going to fit into the elevator, but it ended up fitting perfectly. This is my couch that I had before. And then this is the after, the couch in its full glory, looking really nice and fit perfectly in my apartment. This probably is not the thing.

She tells a story like a five-year-old. And then I was there, and my couch was in. It was wet, and look how dirty, and it was... I didn't watch. I haven't actually seen. I was saving watching the original TikTok for the podcast. But yeah, this has 50 million views on TikTok. 6.4 million likes.

So even after watching that, are you still kind of unsure of what the con i have no idea what the fuck i'm lost dude uh well basically people are like you're insane to pick up this couch everybody's like that couch has bed bugs you're crazy it is very strange also she's rubbing her foot in the first few seconds. What's that about? She's rubbing her foot on the couch. I didn't notice this because I also hadn't seen the TikTok. I just saw people getting upset about it.

I do love how the first thing she says was, I was walking home in the rain. So it had already been raining. Yeah, it's raining on this couch. And then the other thing people are saying is, who, like, there's got to be a reason somebody is putting a eight thousand dollar couch someone might be moving yeah they just had to go around the corner yeah and so then uh yeah it's like they're not they're trying to

load it into a moving truck they're where's my couch um and then'm sorry, I'm just remembering some of the memes. I hope I can find some of them. But, uh, yeah. So people are like, this could have bedbugs in it. Somebody was like, this is probably a reproduction and not an original. Yeah. But I highly doubt it's the original couch. That being said, even there's lots of reproductions of couch styles and they're still extremely expensive so like a reproduction to this is still one to two thousand dollars well that's like that yeah i mean

why if you just clean it up tidy it up and then sell it no yeah but the thing the real issue is like people are just like you should never take something off the curb and put it in your house because of how difficult it is to get bedbugs out. Oh my God, yeah. And so you don't know what's in there. This is funny that like, there's so much nuance to this story that could have been like 20 seconds long. And one of the details is,

I asked my dad to come pick it up. He said no, but then he surprised me. What a fun little surprise from my daddy. It's very TikTok. it's very tiktok it's very like day in my life type tiktok there is an update i think that it's so funny that people are getting this outraged over it and like of course they are but and like i do agree where it's like if i saw a couch on the side of the road i would not put it in my no house without having it at least be professionally cleaned like i would not put it in my no house without having it at least be professionally cleaned like i would

not trust myself to be able to clean it to the degree where i would feel like safe in fact that's a dad's job or something you know until i've paid i don't know eight thousand dollars to get it cleaned i can't imagine myself uh yeah you know i have to pay for the price of the couch yeah that's why it's so expensive is they only get found in the street so they grow naturally so the the memes are like this like this one went super viral heard the craziest story last night at a party buddy of mine found this eight thousand dollar cast in an abandoned building took it home found out it's haunted the ghost of a victorian child would rise up every night at 3 a.m and stared at blankly he threw the couch on a sidewalk last week i don't know

where this is but somebody was like has anybody seen my couch i was it's got tons of cum on it it was like it's glowing the dark oh man that would be the first thing that i would do is take a black light to the couch and just be like okay what are we working with here my first move would be running away yeah i don't there's uh some i don't remember what the conversation oh uh it was chenny to jakey the other day and he mentioned an anecdote of going to an ice cream place and there was a mattress in the back room implying that the person working there was maybe sleeping there and then i i just immediately the thought came to me which is like there are like three items that are only good in a bedroom yeah or at least an apartment and they

are a couch a mattress and a baby shoe if those are ever outside then something awful has like they should not be in a kitchen a fucking baby shoe in a kitchen you know what's really funny is i i searched for the term the words seen my couch and i actually found the tweet i was talking about hell yeah has anyone seen my heavily squirted on couch i put it out on the sidewalk to dry this morning god even touching it to clean it, I would be unsettled. And they don't put anything over it. Oh, she puts cushions on it at the end.

Okay, so we got to watch the update because I have no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, update. I died. Hi, guys. This is a couch update. The first thing I'm going to address is how long was the couch outside? It was outside for less than 24 hours when i saw it it was pouring raining the next day in the morning i went to go pick it up

while my father went to go pick it up for me i'm trying to do this so that's not good so long how do you know that it was like do you you have to go by that same place every day i guess is how you know this is outside um like are you serious right now there are so many side quests in these videos so if if i was this woman and i maybe she's walking to work or something and she sees that couch that morning and it's like oh shit they just put that there because i didn't see this yesterday yeah um maybe there's a world where it's like okay i'll come and pick it up later today or whatever but if it's pouring rain it's like okay now it's just gonna my brain even if it's not my brain is just like this couch is infested with mold now yeah this is just material this isn't a couch anymore yeah and especially not like well i'll let it dry. Especially in New York too and like the same thing

would be here in LA where it's like the rain falling on the couch is now going through layers of smog and pollution and gross and like New York streets are kind of gross. The world is different. It's nasty as well. So I found a fucking

couch outside and there was a guy in there. Let's hear her out. She's going to explain how she determined there weren't bed bugs. Okay, back to what I was saying. It was brought back to my dad's workplace. We cleaned it and it sat in his workplace for over two weeks. And like everyone's saying, oh, you know, bed bugs form within a week, two weeks. It was sitting there for two weeks.

If there was bed bugs, we would have seen it. For everyone saying, okay. Jesus. All right. I'm not super familiar with how bed bugs work. Can you see them? Yeah, I think you can. Can you see them inside the couch?

No, right? Yeah. I talked to Anastasia about this, and she's like, bed bugs are one of my fears. I know, right? I talked to Anastasia about this and she's like, bed bugs are one of my fears. I know a lot about them. This is crazy. And I was like, okay, cool. Do you guys ever get really afraid because like at night

you're sleeping on your pillow and you hear a little party happening inside the pillow? Oh, yeah. I think you might have bed bugs. No, I don't have bed bugs. You might have very outgoing bed bugs. I think you might be insane bugs. No, I don't have bed bugs. Does anybody else know? You might have very outgoing bed bugs. I think you might be insane. Yeah. Yeah.

That's probably what it is. Oh wait, hold on. Yeah. They like keep telling me to kill my mom. Oh wow. Set my house on fire. Oh no.

For sure. Those are, those are chaotic bugs. Okay. At best, it was a dream. Yeah. At best,

at best. At worst, actually, you know what? At best, you had an AirPod in and we're listening to like a really chaotic youtube video you're listening to like the opposite of affirmations destructions such a funny idea is every morning like doing my like get ready with me yeah

and then i do what is the opposite of an affirmation i do my destructions my defamation my defamation negative defamation my negative defamation and that same like just girl things font yeah you're the salt of the earth you're a horrible person you are genetically evil yeah you will never be happy humanity will melt the globe okay let's i want to hear what she was like it's been two weeks every two weeks the thing i got so one bit i got confused about was they bed bugs form within one to two weeks and then she was like yeah i've only had one to two weeks it's not like a rule yeah they like hatch they hatch on like the 13th day or the 15th day you have to go you

have to leave no you can't stay here only did one round of washing i only recorded five minutes of the whole process that i took to clean the couch like for everyone saying that the cops are throwing out because of bedbugs or whatever or whatever species or semen Sorry That's my favorite my favorite porn genre. I love species play. Species, dude. That's so nasty why I say that. Oh my God, he's pulling it out.

I think it was thrown out because it has a lot of rips that I've covered with pillows. And it has some stains. Problem solved. I love the tone Like it's like I don't know if this person's a big creator So I don't want to like That makes me more worried That there are rips in the couch

Because bed bugs are so tiny But if there's rips in the couch Other bugs can be crawling around in there Whatever happened to this couch Was so bad That someone might have thrown away $8,000. Yeah.

Well, this person's like an up-and-coming creator. That's Cutie Cinderella. Oh, we should definitely get rid of this. Just buy the couch. I don't know if you could tell, it has some stains there

and it has like a few tears over there. That's why I think it personally was thrown out yeah I could think whatever y'all want everyone still says it looks super dirty this doesn't that it's not that it's dirty it doesn't stink it doesn't have an odor it's just ugly that's so funny let me clean it's just the stains that are on the couch everyone that's so funny literally clean is just the stains that are on the couch

everyone that's not from New York wait there's no food on it it still looks I love that so much she's like, that's just the stains that are there. People are saying it's dirty and stained,

but that's just the stains. You idiot. You stupid. It's just ugly. It's just a bad couch. Okay, I want to hear her final words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They threw it out for a yeah god they threw it out for

a reason they threw it out for a reason it was thrown out in front of a very rich building so i took the opportunity and brought it in rich people throw out all their furniture all the time because they get new furniture every other year so i saw the opportunity and took it but that's pretty much do rich people replace their friends for every other year? It's like a rule that people follow. It's like bedbugs aren't allowed to hatch for 40 weeks. Yeah.

Those are the two facts. Those are the rules. I think I addressed all the topics that a lot of people were commenting. And I could just tell who has bedbugs and who don't. This is how I styled it. Nice, nice.

This is the tag. If anybody wants to tell me it's fake. Oh. Is it the one? Yeah. I remember it's like, what is it? It's like Roche de Bois or something like that. Let's see.

The first cum freak. Ouch. Cum resistant. It's like Roche de Bois or something like that. Let's see. The first come free couch. Come resistant. Man, do you think that her friends are going to stage an interview with her? Oh, bro, please. Where they're just like, we have to talk to... What are the comments like? If it's this confrontation, I'm just not going to bring it up. I would get it professionally steamed in Rhea Bolzer.

Well, yeah, but that costs money. I mean, I just think it's so funny. I don't want to sort of make it seem like any hate is going towards this creator or anything like that. Obviously, we're just talking about the whole sort of moment of everybody discussing like, oh, I would never do that, X, Y, Z. Yeah. It is an interesting thing to catch on. Yeah, it's such a random thing to catch on. Yeah. It's such a random thing to catch on. Cause it's just like, because I think that we as a society,

especially on social media, decide that a situation like, remember when that video went viral of the girlfriend surprising her boyfriend and he wasn't like enthusiastic enough. And then everybody was like hyper analyzing it. It feels like this is like one of those situations where everybody's like enhanced you know like they want to like really uh make you know make it their thing it is really weird because like in the real world not on the internet if i were to see somebody do this i'd be like oh i wouldn't do that like that's not for me i'm gonna

sit on the armchair yeah like i'll just sit on the on the other i'll sit on the armchair. Yeah. Like I'll just sit on the other, I'll sit on the floor. Thank you though. I'll sit in my apartment and FaceTime you. But this, like people just get so outraged over like nothing. You know what's really funny is there's a lot of comments that say there's a reason it was left outside and the way they're saying it

makes it sound like it's haunted. They're like, there's a reason it was left outside. Okay, let's say the species they're all just like she doesn't know she doesn't know and also for the people saying she should have just sold it i feel like she couldn't adequately disclose any issues with the couch yeah like the answer would be i found it for free and it had been rained on yeah was thrown out for some unspecified reason

someone buying that would i feel like not a lot of people would be willing to take that risk no would that's a really good point because it's like people are willing obviously because it happened to take this couch for free in that condition no one's going to pay for that i seriously i don't know if I am being overly germaphobic. I wouldn't like hang out with her anymore. It would be, it would prevent, like we could be engaged. It's just, I'm wrapped. It's a wrap with facts.

Someone said that's the $600 version from AliExpress. I'm also conflicted because I like frugalness. There's nothing wrong with that. But she did have a couch. Yeah. She leaves it outside and the cycle continues. Yeah. It's so funny.

Yeah. Do you think she left her couch on the street? Someone else starts a new video. I found a $150 couch on the street. Free couch. Fuck. I hope so. It was raining.

It was fucking. What was falling from hope so. It was raining. It was, it was fucking what, what, what was falling from the sky? It was raining piss. Acid rain. Acid rain. So it has a few burn holes in it.

It's fine. I gave it a couple of months to dry off. Yeah, but it's fine. It's not dirty. It's those are just the stains. Yeah. So bizarre. Damn. it's not dirty it's those are just the stains yeah that is so bizarre damn that's so funny i mean i really like her personality i think she'll be successful as a creator if she keeps it

up sorry the memes of has anyone seen my couch i dropped my grandma's ashes on it. Oh, man. Shout out to the name. Oh, yeah. Thank you for the education, by the way. I was in no universe, but I guess. Yeah, it's just. Oh, gosh. Oh, wait.

There we go. We're going to get all of the topics mixed up. So it's like I show speed. I show speed. Lost his fedora on the couch. I show speed. It spends $125,000 on a couch that was left outside.

His daddy cleaned it for him. No! No! That's iShowSpeed reacting to finding out there's bed bugs on the couch. But shout out to Amanda Joy. I wish them the best on their content journey. Thank you for generating content for us.

Thank you for generating, um, the, uh, pay for generating the Twitter moment of the week. It is wild. That's so, so many people.

So random. What a world. Um, well, I'm like, yeah, Twitter's blue couch saga is dividing the timeline. Okay.

Well, that about wraps up today's episode of Sad Boys. Unless you want to pay money. Whoa. Did you hear what he said? We're going to be doing a bonus on Patreon.com slash Sad Boys. On Patreon.com on Patreon.com Ethan's going to tell us some

secrets. Yeah, I'm going to tell you all about my bed bugs that I have. The ones that tell you to burn down your house. Yeah, that's why I had to get rid of Crank Gameplays. Someone's going to find Crank Gameplays on the side of the road. Crank Gameplays was infested with bed bugs. I found Crank Gameplays out

in the street. It had been raining. That's just the AliExpress Crank Gameplays. He's just stained. He's not dirty. He's just stained. Thank you guys so much for having me on. Oh yeah, dude, is there anything that you want to shout out

before we get over to the Patreon? You know. Yeah, I do know. Listen to know listen to brain leak yeah you can listen to brain leak if you want that's my podcast that i do with sean jack septic guy yeah well that was the craziest thing was like seeing you guys do your podcast and like it's the only one true we did sort of there's a bunch of guys who use like sm7bs but we don't we're not like those. It's not really a podcast.

This is kind of just like a chill time. It's more of just like an experience. Mostly just like a side-ass program. That's mostly what we're about. That was my Google calendar telling me to wrap it up. Shut the hell up. Yeah, thank you guys so much for having me. You can find me everywhere.

No longer is Crank Gameplays but we won't tell you what he is now but we won't tell you where yeah we end every episode of Sad Boys

with a particular phrase we love you and we're sorry boom you didn't know about the poop guy what why do you know

about the poop guy yeah wait I've never had a shit that was so monstrous I need to fight it. He's taking a shit. He's got a health bar coming up. This is insane what I'm about to say.

This is not safe for life. You should know this about me. Sad boys nights. Gucci girl. Gucci girl. How you doing? How you moving girl? Moving girl.

How she delicate. That future girl. Future girl? Moving, girl. How you delicate in that future, girl? Future, girl. Yeah, we on now. Take my money, go away. Are you on it? Girl, you're too rich for me.