Sad Boyz - The Cringiest Rapper of All Time

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. That was badass. Yeah, I'll do it too. Okay. I'm Jordan. Nice, man. That was really good. Yeah, badass, right? That was great.

Rock and roll. You're so good at this. I'm Jordan. Did you say I'm Jorm? Rawr, I'm Jorm. I'm Jorm. Isn't it I Love You and Dinosaur? Rawr. Rawr.

Rawr. That was a good time. People really missed out on MySpace mindset. Yeah. Although I feel like I'm seeing it ironically from, frankly, a bunch of poses. But it was that we're not alive at the time. There's a new app that kind of has MySpace. That kind of has MySpace.

MySpace is actually my new meditation app. It controls your mind. Yeah. There is like a new app called the No Place. It's No Place app. K-N-O-P? No, just Inno. And it's got a very MySpace-y aesthetic. Nice.

Yeah. Customizable. Top five friends. Yeah, I think there's a top eight on it. Nice. Were you ever emotionally- I think there's a top eight on it. Nice. Were you ever emotionally- I think it's one of the top apps right now. You're invested in that, I guess, discourse amongst the greater friend community?

Who's in my top? I think I was a little too young for that to be like a discussion. For it to be like numerical? Or for it to be like drama. Yeah. Because- Well, I only did it on bibo and it was years later like myspace i did miss out i would yeah i missed out on that i was a zanga guy oh i forgot about that yeah i was a zanga guy and then myspace crept in for a moment before facebook and there

was like a little bit sneaked up on you yeah there was a, let's see, in the random podcast. Of course. The preeminent forefather of servers. Yeah, it's like the pre, pre, prequel to Sad Boys. We do talk about MySpace and I reference, it's kind of like you could do a Sad Boys bingo to it because I reference the sex bots on, the porn bots on the porn

bots on MySpace sending you DMs we've learned nothing I know we've learned nothing as a society or we've learned that death taxes and porn bots in your DMs are like the three incontrovertible truths I mean sorry that was

kind of a banger to not know the word I was thinking of and then pop out incontrovertible. You were able to do better than the word you were thinking of. I mean, the one other possibility is that there are hot milks in my area that would love to hang out. It's never that clear. It's not like, sometimes like, hot milks in your area?

What the fuck? And then sometimes it's just like, hi, I'm an attractive person. Do you want to FaceTime? Yeah, it's like, I want to find hot singles in my area to play a Bouldersgate campaign. Oh, dude. Well, they better know how to play and how to optimize. That actually, they're like, I'm going to multi-class. I'm going to do the swords bard thing.

Just a few levels. I'm going to dip. And then maybe I'm going to go bard lock. Or maybe I'm going to go. I'm fanning myself. Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, wowza. I'm going to dip, and then maybe I'm going to go Bardlock, or maybe I'm going to go. I'm fanning myself. Yeah, exactly, and I'm like, wowza. I'm sorry. So you're going monk with just a couple levels.

How do I just throw bits your way? How do I subscribe? An extra bonus action for your thief. I mean, if she's got it all, I'm shoving Katie out of the door. Oh, my God. He's wasting my time. Yeah, because you're just like, do you want to go assassin? And you're like, no, no, no.

I know that's. You fool. Yeah, I know that just like, do you want to go assassin? And you're like, no, no, no. I know that's... You fool. Yeah, I know that can do some stuff, but especially if you're going like Gloomstalker. Pushing up my glasses. But I'm thinking a second bonus action. I almost said trickery domain, but it's... What is it called?

For Thief? For the second bonus action? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a trickery domain. But it is a trickery. It's like trickery is, yeah, trickster is like what they do. Trickery domain is Shadowheart's cleric stuff.

And it's a bad default. It's cringe. I will say, congrats on winning Shadowheart's heart. Yeah. And I'm not pissed. I'm thinking about building a Shadowheart commander deck oh oh

he's not okay thinking about building a shadow heart commander deck with sorry not pissed okay you seem pissed i also was telling my class i was also telling yeah i was like this is how you crush your glasses every time i know i was telling was telling Katie that, you know, we famously hate Minsk. But Minsk and Boo is a very, very good legendary creature in Magic the Gathering. And I think that to, like, prank you, I should build a disgusting Minsk and Boo deck. Like, just like an extremely overpowered... Well, then maybe I can play against it and get the satisfaction of at least killing that.

You do get to kill Boo a lot of times because I think he, like, creates Boo tokens and then can throw them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, like I did. Yeah, exactly. I tried to kill Minsc and I threw Boo at a box. Tell you what, he didn't come back that time.

Actually, well, I mean, speaking of Myspace Bebo energy time uh actually well I mean speaking of myspace bibo energy that's why all I mean is he's too epicly random um yes I think I might just have a hamster right now a hamster you say um how are you we've actually been hanging out a long time today yeah it's been a long hang we had a lot of breaks we had a lot of things going on big ass sandwich that I'm trying to power through. That was so good, though. I want more coffee, but I know that I can't handle more coffee. It's one of those days.

I just had a random anxiety blast. Do you ever feel that way where you just get a sense of dread coursed through your body and you don't know why? It's like a useless version of Jimmy Neutron brain blast. Right, right, right. It goes in your brain, has the same animation, except there's a sad clown at the center. It's like a brainstorm, of Jimmy Neutron brain blast. Right, right, right. It goes in your brain, has the same animation, except there's like a sad clown at the center. It's like a brainstorm, but not in a productive way.

Oh, no, I need to run for cover. Do you know, literally unconditionally, just that like out of nowhere kind of. Yeah, yeah, where I was like, what's this? And it's like we just had an internet technician come, and we had to reschedule it because there are some issues, and I need to get those issues solved. And I'm like, ugh, another thing to the pile.

Jeez, the internet? This will never take off. Yeah. We're recording this in the 80s. Been dying to have good internet for so long, and we thought it was finally coming today, but we have to hit the snooze button, kick it off for a little while.

Back to dial-up? Back to dial-up. Back to dial-up we go. Back to the times of Minsk. Do you remember those days? I do remember those days. Somebody just picked up the phone. Oh, who did that? There goes the Matrix Online session.

I would get a connection lost trying to reconnect on RuneScape, and I would, like, turn into a Karen in my own house. I'd be like, who did that? Let me speak to the manager my iron man yeah well at the time it was my only man yeah um yeah how the hell are you dude i mean we've been hanging out yeah we've been hanging i'm fine oh i just say real quick java's gave me a gift today oh i did he gave me a command of it. I did. That was really nice. I've been, me, look at this. You're happy.

Yeah, you're so happy. Wait, you look less happy a little bit. You look like, now you look sad. Now you look, you're on the brink of tears. Now you're throwing a tantrum. You're a child and you, and you're happy actually. Yeah. Wow.

Oh no. This is what a baby is like, I guess. They go through a lot of different emotions. I'm growing up. Yeah, oh, no, you're so large. Shut up, dad. You're mostly leg now. I am mostly leg.

Oh, dude, that fucking photo somebody found of me on Yelp. It was like a review for a theater that I'd been to. That's so funny. And I'm in the photo. I think that focal length length no one has ever seen the amount of leg i am i think this angle like maybe disproportional you don't see it in my videos it gets even in some photos that you can't tell i think i'm 60 to 70 percent like i do my long legs i did kind of uh like lean forward the other day and i looked at myself

and then i was like is my torso small or am i just like scrunching up my body also dipper's here i don't know if he's on camera dipper hey bud uh sag rules are we have to pay him if he's okay oh yeah he's yeah there he goes that's a guy oh long day oh look at that Long day, huh? He just got back from the office. He just got back from the office. He had this, like, had a dog, like, bite him. And they shaved, like, took back in the area that they the wound area and then it hasn't grown back nearly as fast in the rest of the area that they shaved so now he has like a weird patch of hair yeah it's like a

soul patch I came onto the show and I just had like a very early 2000 soul patch like the stripe right landing strip on my face yeah oh and I just had like a very early 2000s soul patch, like the stripe, right? A landing strip on my face. Yeah. Oh. And I just. Like very thick. You mentioned it.

Like, obviously I tend to be like, oh, I like it. You know, I like it. Don't like it. When did you do that? Et cetera. You probably said you look really good, that you look so fucking good today. God damn. Always saying that.

Oh, scrumptious. Nom, nom, nom, nom. Oh, I love you, dinosaurs. Sorry, that's only on AO3. Yeah, I believe that did happen in a novel about us or something. Right. There is... But there is absolutely no way I want anyone in the comments to mention it.

Like, we ban every single related word. Soul is gone. No way. Patch, facial hair, nothing. Next episode I come back, it's gone. And if anyone mentions it, they get blocked. Like it's like something that happened to me. Like I got a soul patch for a while.

I'm like, I'd rather not talk about it. Yeah, it's like, please, come on, guys. It's kind of personal. Let's have a little sensitivity here. Sometimes somebody gets stricken with a soul patch. God judged me. God challenges his greatest soldiers with the worst facial hair. That's kind of like when my dad got a perm and a mustache at the same time.

This is Curtis. This is in the 80s. Anastasia Connor. My dad is Curtis. Curtis is named after Kurt Russell. Oh, really? For like a couple months, my dad had a perm and a thick mustache. And we have video evidence of it that video disappeared uh my dad will not uh admit that he had the perm he is trying to strike it

from history i want to get a perm not really but like but like I just want to know what it would look like. Can we Photoshop Jarvis? Yeah. What happens? What kind of perm? Well, no, because when I learned that Pete Wentz was a half black or a quarter black or something and had naturally like curly hair, like kind of similar hair texture to me, I was like, so if I was frying my hair by straightening it for like 20 years like P. Wentz still looks great and so I'm like what if I had an emo hair swoop I kind of

but I don't think it would actually work for me but I at the same time we should just get you a wig like that maybe so you could just from time to time wear it around the house yeah I just think my hair is too big it's hard to like tamp down now. Yeah, I guess I'm wig equipped.

Yeah, you could wear a wig. I could test the wigs. Oh, yeah, that would be good. And if you like this style, because we're brothers biologically. Right, right. According to, again, AO3 sometimes. Yeah. I'm sure.

Oh, Diplo. Sorry, I'm just. You are like a mother ape. He's eating all the bugs. This is how I notice that things are wrong. Like, I'm always up in his business and then feeling something feels off.

Yeah, like a tiger mom. What grade is he getting? Oh, he's on the honor roll. Yeah, what the fuck is that? We saw each other yesterday also. We've been banking on it. We did. And Tuesday. And Tuesday. We got a lot. It's a big week. We've got a lot of travel coming up and just random things.

I've got a surgery coming up that I had to postpone due to getting COVID. And I don't want to go into any detail, but it required a lot of prep and like medications I had to take and like a specific diet. And I went through all of that. And then the day of, and it was like, not fun. It was not fun. And then I was like,

but at least it's over. And the day of, I tested positive for COVID and I had to cancel the surgery. And now I have to do it all again at the end of this month. So that's another thing that's going to put me out of commission. The end of this month and then we leave? No oh we're done show's over folks then we are off into the sunset how about yourself how you been i'm all right i'm so i slept so bad been going to bed in okay time just been sleeping really bad i had like a i don't know i wasn't even sure if i was going to talk about it or not i can touch on it briefly briefly, I guess. I had a good day yesterday, went home,

and Katie played some magic. And then I had, like, this little thing that kind of knocked me off center. And I got plenty of flaws, you know, too hot, too rich, too funny, et cetera. Sure. But, no, I mean, I have my issues, but, like, one thing I think usually I take pride in

is, like, self-soothing. I'm usually able to at least, in a moment of moderate stress, kind of center and then maybe deal with it later. Have a cry when I get home, you know, that kind of thing. And I was just at home. This small thing knocked me off center, and I got so angry. It's been a while since I got really angry. And it wasn't about the thing or anything like that. I've just been, you know, a couple tricky years.

It feels like there's this debt, this yelling debt, this smashing shit debt. Where as soon as I get angry, I'm like, oh, I'm flashing back to three years ago. I'm pissed off about that. And I realize I literally don't really know what to do with it. And I thought I was doing all the grown-up stuff. I was walking around. I talked to Katie about it. I was like, I'm going to go on a walk.

I'll listen to podcasts or something. Walked for like 30 minutes, wandering around. Kind of did nothing. I'm like, wait, this should work. The rules. It's worked before. And then I, I got back and I just kicked my trash can to pieces. I,

and it, what sucks is it worked completely. It's like those, um, those rooms that you can like break stuff in. I know. It's just, I gotta get to the room.

Yeah. I was gonna say, if it's like controlled and there's no risk to any, your physical wellbeing or anyone else's, then like that can be a, you know, that's a totally valid like outlet. Yeah, I just had that on ice for like a couple of years now and I don't really know what changed. It's been a perfectly nice week.

Nothing about the day. I mean, I was tired. I'll have that sometimes where I'll just like wake up and have a thought and then like to start crying or like listen to a song that like reminds me of a long forgotten time yeah and then i'll just sob and weep well that the sense memory stuff is so it can be so annoying because you're not ready for it you're walking to a bakery and it's like wait this is the exact spell of bread that happened on that day oh yeah i didn't know you had this bread i definitely had those where i like yeah you don't know you had this bread i definitely had those where i like yeah you don't know that you even have a memory of something and then i couldn't

even say what that smells like but i know it smells like the time i was in a car collision or something like it stays in the back of your head i have that with a hades game i love but the and was and we've been obsessed with the soundtrack of but i got into that game and listened to the soundtrack most at a very negative time darkest during covid kind of time and i had this like uh went through the whole game i listened to the soundtrack pretty consistently but the final boss music for some reason that it kind of starts somber and even talking about it is like making me choke up there's something like very stunning is the wrong word uh uh but yeah like just like i paused every time i go like oh whoa yeah yeah do i need let me take a break now i'm back into it i've acclimatized but it is like the smell of bread and i'm only

making it to the boss one out of every three runs so i forget i pay for two hours turn up he's like boy it plays a little bit of music, I'm fucking out. I remember when I finished Breath of the Wild, I cried. Were at the experience or like reflective of? I don't know. It's the nostalgia of some games, even implied nostalgia, the Zelda-ness of some games. Oh, dude, it was like the orchestral version of the theme that played.

I got that with Mario Odyssey. Yeah. It's just so bold it's just like it's just like hits you in the nostalgia but then also there's like a climactic kind of resolution that's happening and i'm like oh you didn't have to do all that it's like it kind of just it's just too much it's not sad bad good whatever it's like overwhelming yeah it is like uh it's like oh i took double lateral i like, oh, I took double Adderall. I'm just like, ugh.

I think I've mentioned it on the fast. Sometimes I used to eat so much Five Guys after work that I would cry. Like I would eat it so fast that part of it was it was recreating the sensation of choking up because I ate too fast. That's very funny. And I would literally be watching just, like, the most innocuous TV show, just some, like, Love Island or whatever. I was like... It was tears from eating too fast, and then my body rewrote that as, like,

you're crying from the dark. From the dark. The rage. I, right before we started, I think this morning, I got a DM on Discord, and it was, christmas day i'm gonna need you jacob to go to tom mcdonald's twitter oh you're it's his homepage scroll down oh no way uh wait wait yeah here it is here it is that the tweet, July 14th. Trump got shot. I fired back.

You missed by Tom McDonald. Oh. Is this directed to the dead guy? I don't think the diss track works. I don't know. It's very, like, self-congratulatory to me to just be like, I fired back. At who? America.

Who's he shooting at? What is this going to be? Does he know that the shooter was a Republican? It makes it sound like he killed the shooter. I shot back immediately. Like a quick draw? I will say I have seen this video, and I think he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Oh, really? Now that's saying a lot. I'm surprised that Jacob has seen this video, actually. I know you were joking that it was Jacob's homepage, but I do feel like the other day, Jacob said he was watching a Tom McDonald live stream. I opened YouTube, and it recommended me Tom McDonald's live stream. I'm going to just quickly guess.

The reason it's like he doesn't know what he's talking about is it's just autopilot, where he's like, the libs on the left are scared of what I got to say. I'm not going to say it today, but when I did, they didn't like it. Nothing specific, but, you know, they hate me for something. Don't know what, but they do. Not because I'm bad at rap. Hibbity-hibbity-hoo.

And then we're going to go over to YouTube and we're going to see I'm a 73-year-old veteran. I'm 190 years old. I don't normally listen to rap music, but you have struck a chord, Mr. McDonald. My nephew showed me your song. I'm a 17,000-year-old lich. I can't get enough of this hippie hop. I am a past pharaoh.

Tutankhamun here. Absolute heater. He really shot back. I didn't know what a gun was, but I'm psyched to learn that this guy has one. The events that took place yesterday are a horrifying example of political extremism in America. Which is true. I mean, and gun. It's also gun.

Yeah. By the way, we don't have a take where it's like Trump getting shot was good or anything like that. This is more about Tom McDonald's propensity to exploit a divisive moment in the world. But maybe he's not doing that. So I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this is actually about the events taking place at a horrible example of political decisions in America Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay Burnin' the country down with their progressiveness

It started with changing what gender is Then graduating- Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah He is assuming a lot about When did this come out? He's just doing his normal thing Exactly, he's just on autopilot Yeah

It's like when they do like a sway freestyle and they're just doing like, I got money. I'm cool. My car's nice. It's like when somebody says, type the word they, and then let your keyboard finish the rest of the sentence. They won't find my nurse in the pantry. Oh, that's interesting.

Started with gender. What did? Yeah. Well, no, because that's interesting started with gender what did yeah well no because that's the thing it's like the guy just this is just a fact of the matter is the guy was a registered republican so i mean yeah well let's get into it but it is so funny to just immediately validate exactly what we're yeah they don't want peace they want skeletons they want men to pretend that they're feminine they don't want an election they got skeletons. They want men to pretend that they're feminine. They don't want an election. They got so offended by freedom that they just try killing the president.

It's really funny to be like they're so offended by freedom and the dude was wearing like a gun YouTuber t-shirt. Dude, I'm so offended. That's such a funny way to put it. It's like just such a funny swing to me. It's a funny swing that he's like so confident that it's going to come out that the shooter is like the opposite political affiliation.

And not just like a crazy person. Lee Harvey Oswald's part of the Rainbow Mafia, dude. He was such a lib. It must be tiring, I feel like, for the portal for every thought you have to always be this it's it is the lens through which he views everything everything's a nail you know yeah it's like everything started with people changing their gender freaking gender and yeah it all began with this damn divisiveness when people said hey um i don't really align with my assigned at birth gender identity.

You don't need to say anything about it. I'm just letting you know I'm going to go and live my life. That was them taking the first shot. Why are you forcing this on me? Stop telling me stuff. Now I have to fight. I have to make a rap about this. Dude, wait, wait, wait.

This is like when my mom tells me to go to my room. But you don't understand i need eminem to see this so that he understands what he's becoming be careful there's still time wait but was it didn't he just say at the beginning, he was like, it all started with trans people, and then he's like, I thought you guys cared about treating people as people. And it's like, well, clearly you don't. Yeah, there's treating people as people. That's one side.

And then shooting them with a gun. That's the opposite. That's the opposite side. The two political. Wait, sorry. No, wait. The one that I am is the good. Whoever's listening, you're right.

So confusing to me. He's also talking about Twitter like it's sane individuals. Like it matters. This is what like broke Ricky Gervais' brain. He has a special that is, it's the one. It's like the one where he takes a huge downturn. And it's this, I remember it was a number of years ago at this point, but one of

the biggest segments of it is him on his big screen in the background pulling up tweets that bothered him. And you're like, oh buddy, you're so rich, just go, don't have a phone. I feel like if the stakes of those tweets are really low, then

it's fine because i like i love to like rant about a silly tweet from not again but like if it's uh if he's taking real issue with the tweet yeah he's not even doing jokes he's just like and this is so stupid yeah okay they're so dumb and look at their profile they don't even have followers i'm not upset followers. I'm not upset. Kicks a trash can. Stumps it down. Thank God the left can't aim. Thank God the right don't riot. Welcome to the home of the brave. Freedom ain't afraid of violence.

You wish you was dying? Bitch, you missed! Wait, did he say welcome to the home of the brave? And he's Canadian again? I just have to point that out. Land of the free, home of the brave. Thank God the left can't aim. Why can't we just shoot straight?

Bad news, Tom McDonald. Oopsie daisy. Bad news about that. Well, not only did was this guy registered Republican and missed, he was so bad at aiming he didn't get onto the shooting stuff team. His high school rifle club or whatever.

That's so funny. This honestly is like a good whatever. That's so funny. This honestly is like good parody. It's so exactly wrong. I do think this is how they're spinning it. Is there like, oh yeah, maybe he was registered Republican, but the liberal media brainwashed him or whatever. The day before he did it, he watched a modern episode of Rick and Morty and it made him gay yeah he watched he drank a bud light and it turned him into a shooter

because i've seen other people again this is just like the internet so who cares but it was i've seen other people uh post stuff on some posts online that are like um he no he was actually no but actually he was liberal okay and it's like oh touche why are you trying so hard to spin it this way yeah he um allegedly uh there was something on the news the fbi i think said that uh he was also looking at joe biden speaking dates and it just so happened that the trump one was like closest to him soonest. Why? Why is this? And I don't want to say our representative because I'm not like I'm not a Biden Democrat,

which is what he's talking about. He doesn't understand that there's like a strata of belief because as soon as you hit center to center, right, you just already don't like trans people. And that's all you fucking care about to talk about. I just we're not allowed to just have crazy people? Can we just, let's all get together and have this one weird guy with no real political affiliation

who was just deranged. That's fine. I don't know. I don't claim him. You can have him. We don't, we don't, you know, exactly know his motivation or whatever, but like, have we not had shooters constantly in America forever?

Why? Why do they think this is that different? lessons from it is not this guy who was a incomprehensible uh goal did not write a manifesto anything like that versus i don't know not to be overly depressing about it but this country is full of constant shootings that should be more than enough yeah i mean isn't the thesis of he has to do the political angle because the only other angle is like, hey, it seems like a bad idea that we've got guns all the time and that the guy could do this at a rally with security. I've seen memes that we're going to, because he was wearing a gun YouTuber's merch, people were memeing that we're going to have shirt control before we have gun control. Yeah, no gilded t-shirts.

Yeah. Y'all are going insane, bitch you missed. There's no one else you can blame. No gilded t-shirts. What do you think the odds are that he does the Trump fist? Oh yeah, at the end of the video or something. I'm not a math guy. What's more than a hundred? He's going to have like a little bandage on his ear like at the RNC. And then fade into Trump's mugshot.

Dude, Trump's doing the, I realized that in that mugshot. He's doing the exact opposite of the dream reveal Yeah, he's showing the other side of his chin Told us trust the science but it never made sense to me Why would we put all our trust in the enemy millions of people pause pause pause pause pause the enemy? People say trust the science, but it never made sense to me. Why would you? That's just you. That's an issue. Yeah, that's a concern. Science as a topic.

Do you mean books? And then he said, why would I trust the enemy? Like, he's an enemy of science. Science is the enemy. Dude, he has to go back. The Amish don't even care that much about science. Yeah. Didn't you see that?

The Amish basketball game? There was a bunch of... A wooden bowl. No, dude. It was like a team of Amish people came to play pickup on a court and they just cooked to the people there. They were hooping in wool slacks. That's what I was going to ask. There's a shot of this Amish dude

doing a fadeaway and he's got a shooting sleeve on. It's the craziest thing in the world. We have to show this. That's so much better than Tom McDonald trying to pursue his dream, doing the thing he's worked on his entire life. He's worse at that than these guys are at b-ball. Look at his shooting sleeve. God damn, bro.

And, like, sweet jump shot. All the replies are, like, his form is perfect. He has a 15 foot vertical. The most like reply is like, this proves he has a TV. Go to the next photo. He's reading like old papyrus scrolls with the tips. Oh yeah, look at that. Hooping in pants, dude.

That's awesome. The Amish do operate on like, you know, that rule where you meet the tiniest. If they did a step back, they have a TV. Is that an actual clip of it? Another Amish dude cooking. Oh, my God. It almost feels like one of those videos where someone dresses up as a grandpa. And he's like a pro.

Do you know Uncle Drew? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that Kyrie? It's Kyrie. They made a movie with him? Yeah. That's weird. I guess Ted Lasso was that in a way.

It's an ad that became a... That's true. Well, let's get back to Tom. Millions of people are hooked on amphetamines. They're making billions on untested remedies. Borders are open to people with felonies. Fighting can't stop them. You don't have the energy.

Wait a second. Borders are open to people with felonies? Isn't it a felony? Like, how could you? Hold on. But also, the felonies. What? Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, what? The thing. Well, that's like the Donald Trump, like they're not sending their best. They're sending like murderers and stuff. They're rude. Which is, you know, not true. Anyone who's gone through the immigration process

knows how hard it is. This fictional felony is illegally crossing the border. Like that's what he's talking about. They're entering, and the moment they've entered, maybe they weren't a felon when their foot went over the border. Like, that's what he's talking about. They're entering, and the moment they've entered, maybe they would have fallen when their foot went over the line. They were falling because, you know,

they had a wrong amount of melanin. A felon, more like a melanin. Yeah, Mr. Meaner. Who's that? I could be meaner. I could be Mrs. Meaner. Like Pac-Man. Like Pac-Man.

Like Mrs. Pac-Man. Like Pac-Man. Like Mrs. Pac-Man. Try to back up and back down. Pac-Man. You missed. Fuck, shut up. Everyone, stop it. Quick, cut this out. I tried to give y'all a chance.

Like maybe the left isn't nuts. I was wrong. Cause y'all are exactly as crazy as every conservative person I know said you were all along. When a protest go hard. When a burn's lights go off Is someone going to reply like, um, I have bad news, Mr. McDonald? Uh, sir, I'm a 6,000-year-old wizard and I enjoy your work, but, um, I gotta tell you Unfortunately, I do have to correct you on this one thing

My son, uh, my Amish child has informed me that it wasn't fair to registered Republican We don't have that yet, I'm from the past Thank you for your service, soldier Alright, let's keep watching just to see if he does the Trump, uh, fist Or he goes, psych that it wasn't about to register Republican. We don't have that yet. I'm from the past. Thank you for your service, soldier. All right, let's keep watching just to see if he does the Trump fist. Or he goes,

psych. No one else you can blame. Try to lock him up in a cage. Now you're trying to kill what you hate.

Bitch, you missed. Whoa. Is he going to do it? Come on. I believe. Come on, brother. No, he's just

doing the same soy face he always does in the interviews with his social links. Real missed opportunity. Missed opportunity. No, he's just doing the same soy face he always does in the interviews. With his social links. Real missed opportunity. Missed opportunity. Dude, of course he has a Facebook go-to.

Oh, yeah, he's huge over there. All right, let's play the game. How long does it take? Oh, just so you know, I'm 62, spiritual wife, mom, grandma, who never downloaded music bought at iTunes until you, because you are truth, you are beautiful soul. And you didn't sell your soul to get to the top love heart that's like wait like you know layered uh prayer hands a little angel american flag earth earth well specifically the side of what if it kept going and it was like earth space it was like a solar system. God. Welcome.

Spiritual wife. What does that mean? I'm a 60-year-old grandma. 68-year-old grandma. Never liked rap. Then came across this video on YouTube. I promise this has to be like someone like me made like a bot or something to write these messages. You're on the right way to spell YouTube.

You're on the website right now. How did you get? Yeah, just look in the corner. U-T-U-V. You're the voice of America. I am a 61-year-old white woman, and I love your music. You touch my heart,

and you have the heartbeat of this nation. Your music is the best I ever heard. Thank you for your honesty and insight. God bless you and the USA. It's like famously not honest because the details are not true. The best I've ever heard. Thank you for your honesty and insight. God bless you and the USA. It's like famously not honest because the details are not true. The best I've ever heard. Those I've ever heard. These are people that are like, I don't like rap, but this is the best music I've ever heard. Maybe you like rap.

It's a remix of Drake's Best I Ever Had, but it's Best I Ever Heard. You the best. Best I ever heard. Did I send something else? I'm trying to remember. Oh, yeah. It's about Glenn Powell Summer. Yeah.

What is this? Well, you know Glenn Powell. I know Glenn Powell. I'm familiar with Summer. Made me white boy Summer. Well, so like Glenn Powell is just having a big summer. And he's in everything. Him and his Tom Cruise smile.

And this clip made me laugh. The caption is, I was anthony ramos i would just end my shit man no joke to the concept of brat summer my life has never been the same yeah life-changing yes you know just gotta keep keep these boomers in check. These boomers. I'm joking. No, no, no. I'll tell you, once I take my cholesterol medicine, I want to learn the dance moves. Oh, we want to see that.

We really want to see that. So you grew up in Texas, so do I. My cholesterol medicine was wild, you know. They don't look at him a single time. It is unsettling. Why does she keep touching him? Yeah, I bet. Yeah. There's like that video of the alpha love guy who's like,

I'll stay here with you in this hallway as long as you need me to. I'm sure there's like an explanation for this, but it's just so funny how Anthony Rob robbins is just being like that's crazy and they're just like touching each other and laughing together best thing about it they had their little uh you know volume background green screen background set of twister kind of generic i think that was a real hay bale they had next to them for some reason that looks like a real a real hay bale they had next to them. For some reason. That looks like a real hail but hay bale. It's to add immersion.

Oh, the twister's hay. Just when you're doing things in the what's it called from The Mandalorian? The orb? The orb. The volume. Yeah, it's close enough to the orb. What's the dancing one? This is awesome. oh my god incredible

like all the comments were just about uh them two and not oh you're almost at all are y'all noticing that the show probable spam is often hiding things that aren't spam yeah oh yeah it has like no relation to it whatsoever oh wait wait noticing that the show Probable Spam is often hiding things that aren't spam? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It has like no relation to it whatsoever. Oh, wait, wait. Is that the famous twister tube? Wait, what? The tube.

Wait, I remember this from getting money from a drive-thru bank. Is it sinking? They just get sucked into the ether. Oh, whoa. What is this? Is this supposed to simulate wind? Is that what-

Is it the things they're putting in the AMCs where you stand and it just creates a wind in the thing? They're supposed to put money in that. Haven't they ever- They just did it without the money? Yeah, that's so weird. No, you haven't seen Twister or Twisters? The famous wind.

The famous Twister wind. There's the big line. There needs to be like a tiny cow figurine. That would be very funny. Like a paper mache cow. Yeah. Every time there's a gust of wind, I go, ooh, from Twister. Oh, unless it's the, well, the new wind is from the sequel.

Oh, yeah. Because it's like, that's like, even the nature is like derivative now. Because we already had wind. And now they're doing wind again, dude. What about wind in a tube? Now they're calling it winds. Winds. Can we watch June Squibb?

I just love, she's an actress and she's so cute. Hey, Glenn Powell. You think it's your summer? I can kick your ass. And I think that's the last word on Glenn Powell's summer. I think he's good on that one. It's actually June Squibb's summer. Sorry, Glenn Powell. I think he's good on that one. It's actually June squib summer.

Sorry, you missed. Glenn, you missed. I find him very charming. Oh, I have no problem with him. Unless I should. No, I don't know. I kind of feel like I had a more of a transformative experience with Austin Butler. I find Austin Butler very charming.

Sure. Though I've seen more, I guess, with Austin Butler where I've got to appreciate his work. Glenn Powell. I've seen that. I saw Top Gun. One criticism of Glenn Powell is that he's kind of a blank. He's all aura. There's nothing behind the aura.

It's only the aura. He does seem genuinely charming when he talks to people. Well, and in his movies. Or is it just he's attractive? That's always the thing. It's only the aura. He does seem genuinely charming like when he talks to people. Well, and in his movies. Or is it just he's attractive? That's always the thing. The hotness. It's like, is it just, are they charming or just hot?

But you know, he's like not my type at all. Yeah. And I still think like, I've liked some of his movies. Yeah, no, he's got a charm. But he's disgusting. He's hideous. I thought in that interview

when he was making the jokes that Daisy Edgar Jones were laughing at, I was like, okay, she's laughing a little hard, but these are like charming little jokes. He's like, you're going to take my cholesterol medicine. She's like, you're so funny. That's from when you're older. Yes. That's like June Squibb takes that. And then June Squibb was like, hold my, hold my, what's an old person drink?

A life alert drink. Ensure. Hold my Ensure. Hold my, what's like an alcoholic drink that old people drink? Ooh, a gin and tonic. Hold my Malort. Hold my Malort. Sir, malort. I've gotta cook his ass.

Man, I don't know which incredibly old person I like more between her and Tom McDonald. Can she be president? Well, these days. Yeah, hold on, DNC. Hey, don't be rude. Word on the street is they're picking a new one. So, do you know Sticker Mule?

It's like a custom sticker website. Right, yeah. I ordered from them. Like in a Redbubble way? Great question. You can make your own stickers. You have to upload your own designs. I don't have to do anything, Jacob. No, you have to.

You must. We all must. They make t-shirts, too. It's like custom ink. Do you remember that one? Yeah, I remember custom ink. Because they would also do mugs. I made a calendar with it for Brigham that was a picture of my face getting closer and closer every month.

I signed it. How close do you eventually get? It's about here. It's the center of my eye. So Sticker Mule sent out an email recently about a promotion. Donald Trump was shot. This is a sticker website. What?

Donald Trump was shot. I don't care what your political views are, but the hate for Trump and his supporters have gone too far. People are terrified to admit they support Trump. I've been scared myself. Americans shouldn't live in fear. I support Trump. Many at Sticker Mule do. Many at Sticker Mule also support Biden.

The political hate needs to stop. Hopefully, this email helps. By the way, this week, get one shirt for $4. Normally, $19. I suggest buying one that shows you support Trump. The most... Wait, did they be making one to show you support Trump?

The more people realize that millions of kind-hearted, compassionate people support Trump, the sooner the hate will end. Awesome people all over the world love Trump. Don't limit your friendships and diminish your happiness by indulging in political hate. Vocalize your support. Stop the hate.

And it's from the co-founder, Anthony, of Sticker Mule. Oh, of the Constantino. Istanbul, not Constantino. Anthony? Oh, wow. They tweeted a similar thing, too, and added a couple lines about how a bullet almost killed Trump.

He's got five kids, one still is a teenager. No one should have to die and sacrifice the happiness of their family. What happened to the sale? Yeah, hold on. These things are not objectionable, really. Whatever, you're entitled to your own opinion opinion it's just that they sent it out in the same like email list

that they're sending out promotional emails so the fact that he goes by the way get a t-shirt for four dollars this week it's even formatting weird for a corporate email it's like off the dome it was like oh and t-shirts are on sale by the way before we forget I like that he was like,

hope this helps. We're going to help solve political strife in America. I do like the idea that they're like, what can I do to help? And he goes, my email list. $4 t-shirt. I know. Start sprinting to the server

trying to figure out how to make the prices lower. Is he running the Twitter or is the whole company company like wait well he did say some people at sticker mule tiny bear like one more oh wow yeah he's arguing it's funny because like i'm of the mind that like the sticker mule is entitled to do this you know it's like who the fuck cares it's just funny like i like i'm actually not trying to say that a company, because I think people will be making that argument, like a company should never involve.

I mean, it's going to alienate your, it's going to alienate the people that work for you. It can make their, you know, workplace environment feel hostile or whatever. And there's lots of reasons that politics is not often discussed heavily in the workplace. They're as culpable as anyone is as far as what you say. If you say it as a company, you're just ten times more culpable

because it's not just you. Yeah, and so it's just very funny that they just, the sticker company of all companies just went hella political. To be fair, I mean, I'm sure their bumper sticker range, that's probably half the revenue. You know, someone buying like, I'd rather have my big old balls fall off than vote for Joe. If you want to stop the political divide, why are you then encouraging people to buy T-shirts? Yeah, it's like so weird to just be like and support Trump.

And it's like. Maybe buy a shirt with Melania on it and says, this is my real. And then like the N word or something. Yeah, it's like Trump has been so dangerous and damaging for so many like marginalized groups. And so it feels very weird that like this take on violence, like January 6th happened and Sticker Mule didn't send an email about how the violence needs to stop. You know what I mean? Like he was a huge part of the sort of like wave of Asian hate that happened while he was in office. Yeah, there was the Muslim ban. There was the Jordan can't enter the country ban.

Even him saying the China virus. Yeah. We don't need to litigate that Trump has done horrible, horrible, horrible things. It's just and then also like Joe Biden is like a corpse. It is a corpse that is advocating for and abetting a genocide exactly yeah so it's like it's not like this is a this is a left versus right thing this is the issue with a because there is no left in this scenario yeah but it's just funny that this uh um sticker promotion email diminishes it down to just like, let's be nice people.

It really, it is one of the most childish type of brands. Like, yeah, I'm a, I'm a, it's like Monsanto, Blackwater, and Sticker Mule working together to solve the political divide. I'm like, what do you make?

We have a sticker that says, I'd rather be cranking my hog and watching reality TV. Then walking my dog. It's $4 this month, so I don't know. Maybe get one with Biden dead on it or something. I don't know. Get one with Nancy Pelosi's office. An open drawer with a turd in it.

I just think that it, it's like, it's like a little bit more cut and dry that it was like an assassination attempt, but like what was January 6th? Like, like people were, if you're going to pretend that either of these things are like indicative of something bigger than just like people being insane. Yeah,

exactly. And, and that was, there's like a single actor as far as we know uh who's just a crazy person but anyway it's like not even about like we're kind of uh fucked when it comes to like american politics um at least in the like uh at least in the presidency there's a certain someone runs you you can't we gotta we gotta get mr. Beast in. We got to get Jimmy Beats. We got to age him up. Jimmy Beats, we got to age him up.

I've used AI to show what Mr. Beast would look like at 35. It's the same. He's turned into a chocolate bar. Hey, what's going on? I got 50 grandkids. They're all mine. What's up? I found 100 boys and 100 girls, and I forced them to vote for me.

I'm still just laughing to myself. I'd rather be cranking my hog. Walking my dog. A guy who loves masturbating and hates walking his dog. I don't know. I want to goon. I don't want to walk my dog right now. I mean, yeah, it's just all this stuff that's made about Trump

can be made about the countless number of families who've been separated. You know, it's just like there's just so much why no interest in that conversation yeah because ultimately because those aren't people like i'm people it's like the philosophy yeah like well they're like a statistic and yeah i feel sad or whatever but like it's not fair when i'm not allowed to go to my thanksgiving with my friends or whatever. Yeah. I remember when we almost had you back in the country two years ago or three years ago. And then Trump banned everyone with your visa from entering the country on some. What even was that? What was even the reason? It was like some bullshit.

Yeah. It was. Well, it's the they shut down all the embassy interviews for it. So I got the approval to be reviewed. But you have to go in person to the embassy. But it was the H-1B ban thing. Yeah. Where H-1Bs can come in.

H-1Bs were banned because he thinks they're brown. That is why. The thing is, he was like, to protect the country. There was no actual reason. Too many brown people are coming in with this, with Jordan's visa. To work in specialty occupations. He actually saw a picture of you and he said,

too ugly. And he looked at my, he kept looking back at my name and being like, cope. That's why. Jordan, that's why. Wait,

I don't understand. Like Michael Jordan? Wait, but is he tan? We have an alternative business if you want to. If you want to make the crank in my hog. If you want to make the crank in my hog sticker, there's a... All the homies are now using sticker junkie, not sponsored.

I'd rather be whacking my schlong than not getting along. One of our competitors decided that he did not want the business of a whole bunch of his clients anymore and not only do they not want the business they don't want the business of the people that i most want the business of hey this is also a business it's also capitalism at least it seems at least it seems as genuine as it can be as yeah as yeah until we have a milkshake duck situation with with sticker junkie where they send out an email about how it turns out you've got to support as genuine as it can be. Yeah. Until we have a milkshake duck situation with Sticker Junkie where they send out an email about how you've got to support pooping in the river Seine

or whatever. Is that the river in Paris? It was. Now it's a sewer. Now it's called the sewer Seine. Did you see the mayor swam in the river? No, really? Is there a video of the river no really is there a video of it i think there's a video of it okay do they look like did they step down after getting pink eye wasn't clear

whether this event here today where the paris mayor and and i and a bunch of other cnn reporter goes swimming in the sand after a 1.5 billion. Yes. That is so much poo poo. And I'm pretty sure that that clean up was before they retested it and found poop. I'm pretty sure that the $1.5 billion clean up didn't clean enough. I don't think I'm, you ever can get all the poop out. And that's why if you buy a shirt this week,

brown shirts are $4. Don't test them. It's the dive into the Seine River that Paris' mayor has been dreaming about. Put your goggles on. Put the goggles on, lady. Close your mouth. It's amazing. Close your mouth swimming in any river.

Very hard for that very lucky and happy day. Happy because the sea will be the centerpiece of the race. Don't front crawl with your face right in there. In less than two weeks from now, opening ceremonies will be hosted on the river for the first time. Whoa, whoa. Whoa. But they're happy. France is high speed.

France is so fast. Ew. Ew. Why is it doing that wobbly? It looked like an animation. Oh, badass. Determined to make it safe again for the Olympics. That's what she should wear.

Full scuba. Oh, nine years ago. Cleanups began nine years ago. Okay. He's going to win shitting in the river Olympic level. It's cheating if you shit in the river because it propels you forward. That's because boats are so fast.

It is funny that they are doing so much water-related stuff. I mean, maybe ice those ones this year. Maybe pause them a little bit. You can't. Shift them over. Okay, well, that was fun. And that's sad boys.

Now that's a sad boys. Anthony Cantatino here. Hey, I made a t-shirt wet. 12-stick is huge. Constantino. That guy's got small ass. Anthony Constantino. If anybody wants, but the fun doesn't stop here.

True. If you'd like to, you can get more of the sad boys. And you can tell it's getting near the end of the show because we're starting to enter the posture that we do in the final stretch where we're like lying down fully on our backs here's a screen cap of the episode we did while we were just lying down on the couch and that is a

patreon exclusive along with 71 other including the episode where I talk about what happened when someone I made a video about confronted me in real life that was a recent episode. And embarrassed themselves. Episode 69, I think it was.

Or was it episode 70? Episode 70, I think it was. Just got done doing 69s, fellas. We just got done doing 69. You've got to rephrase that. It's patreon.com. Head on over. Discretionary entertainment.

Don't spend anything you don't have. Don't worry about it. Feel obliged. The money goes towards supporting the show and paying the folks. And maybe I spent a little bit of my money on magic. Well, look, we have. Maybe I spent a lot of my money on magic. I don't know what to tell you.

All right. Much love, everybody. Thanks for listening. We have every episode of Sad Boys. With a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. Boom. Have you ever played Fortnite? Boys. With a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. Boom.

Have you ever played Fortnite? This is so unrelated. A little bit, yeah. I've never played Fortnite. And then I played for the first time this week. Did you love it? I enjoyed it. Chad Chad taught me.

It was funny because I'm level one. And they are for sure putting me against like against like bots and babies but oh was I kicking those babies but oh that baby looked like a chump but I did get three victory royales in a row a dub's a dub baby Gucci girl, how you doing? How you moving, girl? Moving, girl. How's your day looking? That future, girl. Future, girl. Yeah, we on now. Take my money, go away.

All you wanted. Girl, you too rich for me.