Sad Boyz - the maga hunger games

Episode Date: August 21, 2026

New customers get 40% Off with code SADBOYZ at GLD.com Check out 150+ bonus episodes at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/sadboyz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠��� ✨find us everywhere✨⁠⁠ https://linktr.ee/sadboyzpod⁠⁠  🎬 CREW 🎬 Hosted by Jarvis Johnson and Jordan Adika Produced & Edited by Jacob Skoda Produced by Anastasia Vigo Thumbnail design by @yungmcskrt Outro music by @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank 00:00:00 Welcome To Sad Boyz! 00:01:13 Mega Adderall 00:10:25 Matrix Rewatch: AI Boyfriends & Cypher 00:14:54 Sponsored By GLD 00:17:22 Hollywood's Trans-Casting Cowardice 00:28:03 "Patriot Games" 00:46:58 Women's Decathlon World Championship Displaced 00:56:00 Patriot Games Official Content 01:12:59 Sad Boyz Nightz! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's start the show. Welcome to Sad Boys. A podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. Jordan, I like the, let's stop the show. Let's start the show. Very, very greatest show of it. I saw the recording was going and I was like, I can just start.

Lock in. No one can stop me. Did I do the intro? Yeah. Whoa. I don't know what came over there. Your eyes just rolled back for a little while. Your nose is bleeding.

Yeah. Well, that's just normal. What's cracking? Everything. Everything. Yeah, it's cracking as in it's showing signs of strain Oh, okay I'm not doing good

I'm not doing good I'm doing great In how greatly I'm doing bad Oh you're suffering from success It's a roller coaster Yeah yeah I am on a roller coaster Which I hate Oh man

Because I'm enjoying it so much You hate it because I'm dying Oh oh oh that's That is really bad. Of the laughter. Yeah, still bad. You're dying. For my misfortune.

Cut so far away from anything I could exist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds good to me. Yeah, it's good. It's good in a bad way. Appropriate check. Okay, so I'm on the, speaking of roller coasters, I've decided that I'm winding it down, sadly. It didn't do anything for me.

And like many drugs. I am trying a new thing, though. and I'm curious the vibes. I'm actually on mega Adderall right now. They made that big pill. Yeah, I took like a giant, I just went swimming inside of a capsule. You take a bite out of it, right?

It lasts you a week. It's like an apple. A villain in a movie insidiously taking a slice off of an Adderall? The last time I tried Adderall was like 10 years ago, so I didn't have experience with, it was like one of the first ones I tried. So did you do instant or extend it then? Well, so that's what I mean.

This is mega. This is actually a new formulation that is like for those because my issue is that I metabolize or I don't know if it's I metabolize it or it's how it like kind of co works with coffee and stuff for me for my own specific routines and stuff. But this is a new thing. My psychiatrist was like, hey, there's this new thing if you want to try it. And it's essentially... We should say he's a professor that brings corpses back to life.

Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's also, he goes by Dr. Robotnik. People, your Robotics monster. I am Robotniks monster. Well, they call him Frankenbot. Oh, that, hmm. So.

Brand new formulation. So, yeah. So essentially, so Adderall, this is the, the medicine moment. Not medical advice, not, not, not, this is all. this is all anecdotal. Your personal experience. My own personal experience. But so as I understand it, there's like regular Adderall, which is like, boom.

As soon as it's there, bada boom, bada bing, it's there. 40 minutes, boom. Yeah. And then so like Vivance technically, like, as I've learned, allegedly, takes like hours to truly metabolize. By design? By design. Yeah, because it's, because of how it works.

Like, I think, so Adderals on like a timed release. thing whereas vivance is like when it metabolizes is when it's i don't really fully understand it but extended releases the beads within it some are thicker than the others yes so so extended is that there's two beads so i'm on three beats there's a new thing the dark bead there's a new it's not new new because it does have a generic available but um it's supposedly supposed to add it's so it's like super extended it's not called adderol even though it's that's what it is it's the exact same thing, but they gave it a stupid name that I'm not going to say because no free clout. It's added a rule. Um, uh, new game plus, adderall plus plus. The balance has got

off, but they're patching it. But um, yeah, I don't, I also don't know how the dosage works for it, but we were like, I'm trying a week of it. Just like a little like off, off my insurance, just like, hey. I'm off the insurance right now. Get in there. Get in there for a week, see how it feels. And I'm testing it out. This is motivated all by wanting to reduce the crash there for the third level is later. That's why I'm going for the third, the third rung, the third level of hell.

I've done an extended period of time of still mostly to this day, extended in the morning and then a instant release in the late afternoon for that. But that feels... That's the El Classico. That's not really El Classico.

That's what I was doing with my Vibance. It was like I would take, I would take the big V in the morning and then I would take the little V. Sorry, I would take Big Vance in the morning. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

And then I would take the Little Vance in the afternoon. Maybe right, that's my child. I'd take Little Vance to school. Yeah, it's a shame you named him right before the 2024 election. Yeah. Well, he's named after, um, he's named after Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. That makes a lot of sense. That's, that was working just fine for like normal workday productivity.

But then after like a glorious day of podcasting, I will like get in bed and I can't get out. I'm like, I'm stuck and I can't get up, except for I'm stuck in rest land where I can't sleep. Too easy. Yeah, because it would be too easy for me. But instead, I'm confined to my bed and I can't do anything. And the only things that get me out of bed are maybe going to the bathroom and food and stuff. And I'm like, that doesn't feel right. Because it also makes me not want to go do things.

Someone will be like, hey, like Santa Claus is here and he's giving everybody gold to balloons. And I'll be like, I just, there's, there's, there's, yeah, I know, and that's why it's rare. I guess that's when he does money. Yeah, that's where he does the money. But then I'm like, ah, but I would have to get out of bed. So I'm, oh, oh. And he's going to be back here in December. And he'll be back in December and he knows where I live.

I might be in bed. I might be in bed. He knows where I sleep. So I'm trying to curb that enthusiasm, if you know what I mean. Yeah. I'm not fully on that one. I, uh, very understandable, I'm sure for anybody. Well, not even just medicatively, but lifestyleively.

Yeah. It is that, that little crash. It's kind of like, well, because I'm also like big chronic fatigo mode. Yes. It's like a thing where I'm trying to figure, figure it all out. It's everything's, everything works in concert and our, um, American healthcare system works on solving, uh, symptoms. You, you break your arm and they're like, oh, it appears, uh, a Band-Aid would help.

And I'm like, well, because that would stop the blood from getting everywhere. I mean, I can do my job on the fourth appointment. But right now, I brew for a pin. Try that. I don't know if I got a, I said a minute. These words are really tough. I really want to go home. I want to go home right now.

I don't work days. I work in the midnight hour from persona four. Right. And you can call me then. You can find me inside of the tartary. Yeah, best of luck. Oh, he's gone. Okay.

But yeah, so that's what I'm currently up to. But it's such a weird one because it is like the, there's, you know, various causes, some chronic, obviously, some maneuverable and then some you just have to accommodate. It is weird to have your body sending you a message through the exact same pipeline that the helpful messages actually come through. Oh, yeah. It is, you can't delete this email address. You need the update of like, hey, remember to eat, drink, one or not die. I feel that way constantly where it's like even when it's, um, bad vibes, good vibes, like, uh, times are good.

I'm like, I love you, me, you know, look in the mirror and I say, that's my guy. And then. And then you get scared because he's pointing you. And then I say, oh, who's that? Um, stop copying me. I have face blindness. But then there's the, um, the, my, my, uh, my, uh, misconduct. or Hyde, you know, where I go, oh, I hate that guy.

Jordan. Yeah, yeah, I hate that guy and I hate everything he stands for. The hell? Yeah. I just think of you. What the fuck? Why? And so the only silver lining is that because I've recently been playing so much Pokemon,

I at least know that my brain is good at something. There is sometimes when I'm like, my brain doesn't do anything. And then I'm like, well, at least I could put my brain to this. thinking challenge and I did good at the thinking challenge. Yeah. It's a reminder of like something you cultivated as well. Yeah. And also just like you could put your mind to something. Um, but sometimes, you know, in those extreme kind of fatigy vibes, I feel like the, um, I have to chase the, the dragon of hyperfocus as like the only way, the only thing that can like get me to do anything. It works like a stimulant basically. It's like,

the chemicals aren't coming out right so I need to force them out a little too much right to get them to function normally or even you know just like the um the crash or whatever uh is often caused by you know the um like when you drink a bunch of uh coffee and you like are blocking essentially the type of like adenocene or something it's like the tired neurotransmitter or whatever and then when the coffee wears off all of the tired juice flows in and it like reminder, you're omega tired. I'm like, why are you telling me that? And I'm like, why can't I just like suck it out?

Why don't we have a USB drive that sucks out of? Yeah, why don't I just have a nanobot that sits? I call him the gobbler. And he just gobbles all the bad neurotransmitters in my mind. And instead, and I, so you're telling me we can't make more than one Ninja Guiding game a year. And I don't get to have. Every like five years, we get one. Okay, yeah.

And now, and you're telling me we have to do it like that. that and I can't have a USB port in the back of my brain, and I'm not allowed to, like, watch the Odyssey by closing my eyes. And it just turns out. If someone said you can get in that chair from the Matrix, uh, and we can like jack you in, I'd say, whoa, take me to dinner first. But then I'd say, I'm in. Don't do it in also.

Yeah. You're, uh, you're Joey pants. You want to go in? Exactly. You want the taste of the beef. That's right. But the thing is, I, the taste of the beef. Take me to a nice dinner.

That's what I said. I'm going to check me in. No, the issue with Cipher, and this is a review on 1999s, The Matrix. The film. It's a film about men going their own way. The issue with Cipher is that he's a bad guy. Yeah, he's a bad dude. The thing is, I understand, like, kind of where he's coming from.

I understand some of the inputs to that system, but, like, his way of accomplishing his goals is bad. Yeah, he's unfortunately played by Joey Pant, who is only allowed to play. mean people. Yeah, yeah. Well, he does have a goatee. Yeah, that's true. That was a bad sign. And a bald head. No good. He doesn't go to that combo of those two things. He doesn't have sex at that nasty rave. And that's how you knew he was a bad guy. He's boring. Oh my God. Dude doesn't want to have sex at the sex rave. That scene where he sat down and like explaining why he wants to be put back in the Matrix. It is a like good example of like how media presents itself, especially when I was younger. I was looking at that. I'm like, this guy is not. Is a,

attractive as the other people. Yeah, yeah. And this guy, what he's saying, I just don't like the way it makes me feel. And the shots kind of unflattering and the lighting's making him look mean. And then now I watch it, I'm like, brother, be a little nicer. Say, be polite to carry Ed Moss, please. And then, sure, go in the machine. I really don't mind.

Whatever. Whatever, dude. But at least, like, at least give me the illusion that you're trying. Yeah, be cool. Because right now, everything you're saying is in italics. You know what I mean? where it's like, yeah, and then we'll have to stop the agents. Yep.

If you know what I'm saying. Who I'm against? Where that's the thing we do. And I'm against those guys. You're the only, he's also the only guy from New York. Cypher is a character that essentially gets AI psychosis. Yeah, he gets so salusory. Or he gets like obsessed with his AI boyfriends.

And he's like, I want to live inside with my AI boyfriends and no one can, and anybody who's trying to take me out of that should die. It's not fair. I want chat GPT to go into my chest and then I slowly become Hugo Weaving. Right. That too much to ask? Yeah. I actually want at any point in time the person I'm talking to to become Hugo Leagher.

There's a little bit of one of those moments in the new Spider-Man movie. Did you see Brand New Day? Yes. Yeah. Good old time. There is very much a... Gene Gray is in many ways Hugo Weaving. Yeah, there's a lot of...

Mr. Branderson type is this. Though I do have a confession for you that I will not reveal on the show. Problem solved. Renegate behavior. Renegate behavior. The bad boy of podcasting. I'm the bad boy of podcasting.

The Joe Rogan of the right. I'm the bad boy of sad boy. Oh, wait. What was that making me? Also, just to clear any confusion, it's not weird or bad. Oh, yeah. Yes. It is a.

because they don't know what you're talking that's true that's a good point that's a good point let's say it's um a little bit political it's basically like I'm saying I like uh

I cross the street before like the signs had walked yeah you j walked and it maybe you yeah that's how easy it is to feel like a bad boy everybody just like lean into your villainy and I'm leaning into that

and that's why I want to kill my best friends and go inside of the matrix and the AI because the AI loves me and I love it back and steak tastes perfect inside the Matrix. That's true. Remember? I think I'd ask for like... And the steak is always good.

I'd think I'd ask for like a PS6. I'd throw something else in there. Also, woman in the red dress. Yeah, but that's just Morphe's gooning. Also, by the way, you're forgetting about women give her cake. She'll have her goes also. Okay, why? Talk about a perfect world.

How does cake so good? Because he's French. No. And she's Mardiobloosh. I don't believe cake can be that good. I got some cake you got to try. You get this great business. This episode of Sad Boys is sponsored by GLD.

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And it's made by a couple of me. It's made by a couple of badass bros. Me. Wait, what? Wait? What? But the red pill. There's so much about it.

Like, so there's, there's a part where Morpheus says about, wait, no, does Morpheus? I can't remember who says it. Morpheus reveals that he's like, he's starting to believe or whatever. Oh, yeah. But it's so slurred that it sounds like she's starting to believe. That's, that's like leaning over the concert. He's wearing his funny little red sweater. I believe.

There was a whole thing with like, well, because the Matrix is is now transparently a trans allegory. But like it was like theory for a while. And then the Wachowski's came out and said surprise. Gotcha. And then there's also these things that like were cut like a switch was going to be like. It's like the everyone's wearing black. And then I think we said this on the show before. But like everyone's wearing black and Switch is wearing white.

And then and then they were going to have switch inside of the Matrix be a different. gender or whatever and um i don't know what happened with that but did you see the thing about how um i can't remember which uh which hasky's sister it was but the um they like couldn't get funding for a movie because their whole cast was trans their their whole like yeah can we pull this up i was it Lana i don't know i think it was Lana i don't know if i think Lana she might be anyone that still directs. Yeah. I think Cloud Atlas with that last movie together,

which is a great movie where Ethan Hawk wears Asian face. And look, I... And look, I... I'll defend the Matrix 4 in that I watched it on Christmas Day. It's a great Christmas movie. That's what people forget.

Man, that doesn't feel like a real movie. I completely forgot about that. I know. It doesn't feel like a real movie. It feels like a... Oh, Lily. Lily can't get the hunted financed. this?

I think it's because they... What year was this? This is like very recent news. This is not this week, Tuesday. Face difficulty because it would feature a wall-to-wall transcast. Dang, that would be amazing. I'm very curious about this. Such an audience.

It's like, it's like the Normie take is like, bro, who cares? Like, come on. Yeah, why are you being like, why are you being like this? And then from like from a, because I don't believe that the average, the audiences give a shit. No. You know what I mean? The normal person does not care.

The normie's watching Euphoria go, a Hunter Schaefer's hot. Yeah. I don't know if I can watch this. Because they're not posting. They're not on Twitter. They're just like enjoying the things they intuitively enjoy. The average moviegoer does no research.

They don't give a shit. They don't know what they're watching until they get there. I see Wachowski and Dystopian Thriller and I go, I buy the ticket. Okay. Cooney. I'm injured. From the director of the Matrix, I liked that when I saw it.

I'm going to go see this. That's movie about fellas being boys. That's about the fellas are going to. They should, oh my God, they should get this movie. There's got to be somebody with $10 million. You can just cough it up. They say, hey, look, if you're a billionaire out there, you get at least for a month, a stay of eating.

You get a stay of eating if you finance this movie. And then you get to talk about how woke you are and how you're one of the good ones. And then it gets to be a big metaphor. Ooh, the evil trans people are coming to scare you. Yeah, look out, dude. It's such a ludicrous, like, emotional investment in trying to... Because I know what is happening here, and it's immediate intuitive. No, we're not even understanding that idea.

Like, the meeting starts, they're walking through the pitch, they're walking through the deck, and then they go, and it's with entirely wall-to-wall transcast. And then on some intuitive level, somebody that matters in that room goes like, I won't allow that to happen for whatever reason, really, really clearly. And I'll just come up with... He's grinding an axe as a metaphor in the meeting room. And I'll come up with a reason later. And then it never reaches anybody of proper influence. And if it does, they get shut down because they have some, like, religious background trauma.

And then they have to justify it. And so they say something in the realm of, like, well, um, cloud. speed racer was a little too loud. Knowing Hollywood, I bet the only reason why no one will do this is because Hollywood does not take risks. If something has never been done before, they don't want to be the first to do it.

No one sticks their neck out. No one wants to take risks. It's never paid off like The Matrix. Like it's never paid off like obsession the movie that came out two seconds ago. It cost $180. You remember when crazy rich Asians came out and they were like, I know, the letter believed that. They're rich.

What? Crazy. Maybe put a comma in there and I'll listen. It was like, What do you mean? Everything's everywhere. Why is this isn't going to be profitable because it's an entirely Asian cast. And it's like, can't be done.

Who gives a shit? It truly is who gets a shit. If the audience was you, strange baby eating ghoul executive, then maybe a would be a problem. One of those things it's like this is obviously not like a one-to-one, but it's interesting. It's like, um, mom-dani was doing those, uh, uh, like theater fund videos in various languages, kind of like the, the list of like most commonly spoken languages in New York City. And, um, all of them went like omega viral. And part of that is communities being like, wow, someone's actually speaking to us. And I think that there's like an object

permanence issue with like the suits in Hollywood where they're like well because there's no Asian people in this room you know what I mean I don't know those guys I don't know hmm I don't have any trans friends so they must not exist we don't they would never go to a movie they hate trans people don't have money and don't want to spend it it's like what are you talking because they only exist in my mind there's one thing that trans people hate it's uh art and interesting media They'd be like being transphobic in like the tech space. Yeah. No trans engineers.

Never happened. What was that, what was that movie that the conservative, like, movement was trying to make like a big political statement and it's, it had Jim Caviesel and it was called like the Shape of Liberty or something? The Sound of Freedom. Shape of Liberty. Shape of Liberty.

That's a much stronger title. Shape of, yeah, the sound of freedom based on a air quote so big they crush the Empire State. building true story of a essentially a military version of Chris Hansen with even less impact. Like only negative impact. What, okay. So my question though, it's like, when we don't need to watch the trailer because I've seen enough. I've seen the Vita movie. My question is, what was the budget of that movie?

So, oh. Because I'm going to, I might make myself really upset when I find out. 14.5 million. All right, cool. Yeah. And then what's the budget of that movie that, um, Um, what's his face who was, uh, uh, who was outed as an abuser and then like became like token black, uh, anti-woke actor. Oh, um, Jonathan Majors?

Jonathan Majors, yeah. Um, he was going to be Kang. He was going to be Kang. And then they made a new movie called like Black Man. We got one. I think it's called. Yeah. It's, uh, it's like that movie that I think Ben Shapiro's company is producing.

Oh, it's a, it's a daily wire. I don't know. Yeah, you're right. But what's the, I'm wondering what the funding of that is. It's, it's, right? Run-hide fight colon, infidels. That's right, yes. Five million.

Trailer for this one is out. Disgusting. Much gross. Okay, so it's $5 million. Okay, so. It was the first line of this synopsie. And that's going to make, by the way, a nickel. Oh, yeah, there he is.

That movie will make, has it come out? Run-Hide fight might make a fuck ton of money, but again, through parishes. It's like not real people. It makes money through, um, through glorified, like, laundering. Yes, essentially. Comes out in a few weeks. Wow. How do you do it so fast as all that?

Hard work. And the thing is, is that they throw cash at like nonsense funding for the daily wire to accelerate and make, you know, the pen dragon, the fucking pen dragon cycle, a huge whiff at an attempt at Game of Thrones. But then it whiffs and they say, oh, it's because trans people ruined it. Trans people chose to stop people from watching it. It's not just no interest and a bad pitch and poorly constructed and uninteresting and stars someone who like their major background is. that they were in like an old spice commercial and then got in trouble for drunk driving. It's because of these sneaky minorities doing something. It's always, it's like, it's one of those like easy lessons for the road.

If someone's argument involves the fact that like some group has immense power and is also inferior. Yes. You know what I mean? It's like they control everything and everything is built for them. But they're worse than all of us. I've never met them. And I've never met them. It's like it doesn't make any sense.

It's like that happens with women. It happens with basically any marginalized group. It's any marginalized group with a cool down period where you have to pick a different target for a while because it got a little too hot. You got a little too hot about it. And it's like, okay, well, hold on. I'm supposed to pretend to respect women. And I'm supposed to pretend to not like saying the end word. I'll let that simmer for a little bit.

And now, what is it, 2006? Gay marriage, huh? We're back on what? Back on this? Yeah, these black people, they are, they're dumb, they're uneducated, they're inferior. They control everything. They're flying all of the planes that crash. They hold all the highest levels of education.

And by the way, don't look up any of these things that I'm saying. Yeah, somehow they've taken every job while being a fraction of the population. I guess there really were not very many jobs or whatever. So speaking of awful. awful people being awful. Okay. They do that, yeah. I'm in.

That's a bread of butter. Awful people doing awful things in our country. Can I tell you about the Patriot games? What's that? Okay, so this is so fascinating to me because this is something that happened very, from August 8th to 11th. And nobody I know has even heard of it, but it was broadcast on television. Patriots. I don't know any Patriots.

The Patriot games. Is that like preseason for the NFL? I think it first started, it was first announced like a few months ago. Yeah, it was very slapdash. This is part of Trump's Freedom 250 celebration. By the way, that sounds like a credit card. You know what I mean? 105% APR.

250 cash back. Yeah, no. It weighs 40 pounds. It's made of tungsten. So essentially what this is is Trump. selected one boy and one girl from each state. Is it a Mr. Beast video? And had them compete in an athletic

physical challenge. Tell me if this is a Mr. Beast video. And you have to tell the truth. My president. It is. I got 100 boys and 100 girls. So it's an athletic competition. It's like a physical competition.

But the applicants wrote an essay to get in. There was like no like athletic thing to get into it. awesome. And most states. That's how I got on to varsity basketball. What is this holding the ball? Thoughts on the orange orb. Most states had no applicants.

So the representatives from Puerto Rico are from Texas. The representatives in Ludwig Streamer games. I think because he like, and it was a controversy, but it was because he asked all kinds of people. A lot of people pulled out last minute. And so I don't think it was like a, it was like a, it was a nothing burger basically. But this is America. Yeah. Let's watch this.

The funniest thing about the Patriot games is that there are a bunch of blue states that didn't actually submit any applicants. And so they have kids from other states playing on behalf of other territories and states. Interesting. So we have to like refer to them by something they ask. Interesting. To be called. I don't think I want to do. Interesting.

And we're supposed to respect that. Interesting. I don't want to do that sometimes, but I want that right now. Wait, I keep forgetting my principals. What do I stand for? What do I stand for? I think it might be... I'm trans-statial.

Some students were chosen to represent states where they don't reside. The pick for Puerto Rico is a young man from Texas. New Jersey's ambassador attends a private Christian school in Texas. The female competitor for Massachusetts attends school in California. This is a little bit like the World Cup? Where people were like, um, Baligan is not even American. He's basically British.

He's behaving that way. He's literally British, but he was born in New York. Which, uh, which I don't, I do like. My Trump's really bad right now. Well, current, the contemporary Trump doesn't sound anything like I mean. It's been, no, it's just been too long since we've done it, which is a sign. We need to practice. Modern Trump, I think, is closer to like, like a lich.

What's his thing with his, like, uh, assistant? now and they've got like an inappropriate relationship. It's a messed up power dynamic because, you know, she can... She likes the letters about how she, like, lives for him or whatever. Yeah, she got to stay in the women's locker room at one of his estates, which is nice, because it's closer to his room. White is. Okay.

Pretty cool. So there's a lot. Okay. It's, okay. It's called young love. Anyway, the, the kid representing Massachusetts is British. Well, to be fair, the Puerto Rico is. really, really close to Texas.

Well, they wanted someone from New York is being represented by someone from old York. No, right. I was surprised that Puerto Rico is being represented. Boy, is it. Give him credit. I thought Trump didn't, like, he used to not know that the United States, like Puerto Rico was a territory of the United States.

Once it involved looking at a map, I think his involvement with the planning process probably went out the window. I think his pitch was probably like, can we do some shit? Let's do hunger games and they were like, oh, yeah, yeah, okay, we'll do it. I've been on AO3. I've been reading about my beloved Peter and Cat's. They're talking about AOC and I'm more into AO3. It's an archive of my own.

What if Sherlock and Watson were birds and in love? That could be pretty cool. They're saying my OC is from Puerto Rico, but she's Massachusetts. Whoa, is that what it's called? I don't know. It should be. I just made it up. Massachusetts.

I believe Trump would say that. Massachusetts. Masch, Massachusetts. And they're here playing kickball. They're playing dodgeball. They're playing tug of war. How does one person win those games? How are you supposed to be given?

Are you given a score? I guess the fastest person to do the Ninja Warrior course? How does, how do you tug of war? Like, what is? You whittle, it's one person has to break a piece of rope apart with two different arms. it boils down until it's just one v one maybe it's one person versus everyone else and you see how long they can stand up one adult are the games is it supposed to be

the boy and the girl from each state against each other or is it them against the other state oh fuck that I actually don't know because I also believe no one thought this through very much because if you if you're doing like tug a war then then boy and girl from Massachusetts against boy and I mean, with the trans agenda, what's the difference? These days, I mean, that never... Exploits. And look, nothing like any of the claims I'm making about sports and trans people cheating has ever happened.

But can you imagine if it did? Oh, can you imagine? And by the way, I'm submitting, and this is my announcement for the WNBA draft. Also going, like, the Ninja Warrior course makes a little more sense, but doing like dodgeball. Doge ball. Do like four square at this. I don't think I could like construct a decent essay about why I should be doing the Ninja Warrior course

with no training. Do you remember that thing where the parachute that you did in elementary school? You lift up the parachute and people run underneath it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet they did that. You guys elect, like, did you guys go? I liked that.

I made a message so I could do that again. You guys see that in like a turn order? It was the baldest kid goes to go through. I don't know. I think we did. Baldest? Yes. Yeah, whoever's got the earliest onset,

no better than. guy who was there. It's unfortunately. Simmons, Stew Griffin. Yeah, he's bald, isn't he? That's a bit weird. He's a baby. Oh, I guess.

Sorry. And he has three hairs. It's true. He does look good. So it's televised or what? So it was televised, yes. Amazing. And, but like I said, no one I know even knew this happened.

It happened like this last, what was like Friday and Saturday? The eighth to the 11th. I was saying in the Tom Scott episode that we should have more like event. television. And this is not what I meant. No, I meant something good. I also want to point out that there is a Tom Clancy book called The Patriot Games.

Yeah, that's in a movie. And it's a movie starring Harrison Ford. I'm having a Patriot game. And it's like an action thriller about like conspiracy. Hey, give me that game. Unhand that game. This belongs in a board game.

This belongs to a Patriot. It's just a guy. It's just about a guy who loves TTRPGs. Oh, I love Coach Jackie. I'm playing a rogue gnome. I'm obsessed with Coach Jackie. I think she's doing the Lord's work. Let's see what she has to say.

The Patriot games are officially over. That's the competition where Trump selects a boy and a girl from every state to compete in athletic competitions. And a lot of people have said since this started, oh my gosh, it's the real life Hunger Games. And this is something people say a lot. Like when the Met Gala happens while terrible things are happening everywhere in the world, oh my God, it's just like The Hunger Games. And I say, as someone who knows Ball, I think it's more like Battle Real. It's all about like a battle Royale.

And you can tell that they came first, okay? Okay, you know what game first. I don't even know. Did the Hunger Games movie, this year's Hung game movie come out already? I'm kind of curious if that, like, okay, I'm very curious if that would even perform. form especially well. I feel like the zeitgeist has moved to the extent where this comparison from a positive sense is not going to move any numbers.

But like, not, do they mean like the allegory of the Hunger Games? Yeah, like a critical war. I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, man.

I don't think that the text is explicitly misogynist, transphobic, however you want to characterize that, like, aesthetic choice. I think it's the idea that like popishness and, uh, dressing flamboyantly.

being overly expressive is inherently evil and like not performing to a gender role correctly is inherently evil is so baked into the American idea that it is just represented that way. That is such an absurd trope in so much media. Same with like being, um, uh, uh, like enjoying sex. Like in like this stuff I like, like, recent terms I really like where like you can tell someone's evil because they're always having sex with different people and they're bisexual. And it like isn't, I mean, I really like the show, but the fall of the house of our show, you can tell the characters are bad because they have too much sex.

And like it's, I don't think deliberate, it or like rather just explicitly supposed to be that. But it's just like an unconscious coding of like, yeah, they don't have impulse control like you should, which is where you get married first. And like, they're not saying that, but it's in there, you know. All right. What's coach Jackie J got for us? No one sounds bad. Unofficial correspondent.

Watching coach Jackie J. TikToks. Unofficial green correspondent. Kind of looks like the first matrix. Hunger Games was based on the real world. Suzanne Collins originally wrote The Hunger Games because she was channel surfing between the Iraq War and dumb reality TV and realized there was this kind of desensitization that was happening between those two things. And that's how she created the concept for the Hunger Games. Life is not coincidentally like art. Art is based on life.

Summurizing the Reaping came out in 2025. And this book was really about. propaganda and the way that media controls messages and twists narrative. 2025. Oh, damn, I didn't know they were still going. Yeah, she's still writing these. That's why there's still movies coming out. Yeah.

I heard there was like a new one coming out, but I didn't know how many books there were. You know, I haven't. A lot of games. I don't know either, but my sense is that she started writing these kind of this like prequel series that kind of explain like the, founding of like it's like the Declaration of Independence it's a celebration of it it's like this is

awesome these games are hungry things were good and the gods that formed the Declaration of Independence were they thought of everything they create the code no amendments needed no amendments needed it's perfect like you guys were saying this is nothing new like people have been making

stories like this this kind of like dystopian future based on you know real life for ages because we, things feel upsetting. This is a really, and art represents that. I really like the way they're articulating this,

because it is like easy, I think right before we started recording, oh, it might be, no, wait, it wasn't, like, we were just talking about how like most people choose the movie when they arrive at the theater. Most people do not know who J.K. Rowling is. Most people, like, it's very easy to get locked in an echo chamber

of media critique and media awareness and production awareness and trailers and like that process. But that's not the normal way. Like, normies don't do that. And like when people get upset about, oh, my God, they're putting gender in my video game. Oh my God. They're putting this new thing.

It's because they don't understand that art comes second. It is the, it's the reflection of the thing. So when, what do you mean body type one and two in Balders Gate? They're like, well, it's, this isn't happening arbitrarily to. to ruin the way you see the world. This is outside of your Discord chat, we're already doing this. Yeah, we're already talking about this. We're already normal.

You're weird dog. The Patriot games is not, oh my God, the Hunger Games is literally happening. The Hunger Games has been literally happening the whole time. I don't know, maybe it's a bit of a circular conversation because it's like idiocacy and stuff, yeah. People I think are getting a little too excited about like, like Beast games is not Squid Game. It's just the Squid Game thing is that it's dangerous. I mean, this is the mystery beast generation. It's like the, it's Mr. Beast made a copy of Squid Game and somehow that is like has meaning.

Yes, because the thing that's good about Squid Game is that it's fun to play games. Well, the, well, yeah, no, the bad thing about Squid Game was that it was fiction. It's the first episode of Beast Games where they walk into their bunk area. Oh, no, I think it's the YouTube version he did. It's like, because they had been a Beast City yet or whatever. Right. It was that original Squid Game Real Life. video and they walk into what is like

prisoner containment like they they walk into the most like horrific dystopian looking sleeping space ever looks like like military barracks for the death star yeah and then they go like yeah oh yeah let's go oh my god where they walk into literally it's like a it's like a exact remake of the barracks for the game they go oh my god it's from the TV this rules oh my god the shackles from the prison. Look, I'm wearing a big, heavy ball

on a long chain. Oh my God, these are the guns we get shot with. Is maybe I was going to move during the game so they shoot you? You get shot. This is just like the show.

Oh, what the fuck? This rules. Do you think there's like a decent number of people? Because I don't think Squid game. Yeah, I think so. There's like hundreds.

Like eight. At least eight. I mean, we're covering a lot of it and I met someone the other day. But like, do you think this decent contingent of viewers for something like like the Hunger Games and Squid Game these aren't, it's not something you decipher.

The protagonists are telling you what is good and bad. It's not, you know, something you need to pick apart. But do you, just the majority of people watching those not see the reflection of it? Like you watch Squid Game and you'll take way is we should not play children's games that kill you. Who's the, um, who's the guy from Obsession?

Brian, Brian Cox. No, the boy, the, the boyfriend. Um, oh. The character name. I can't remember. It's like some of the B. Bear? Bear, that's why.

I, I saw like a, uh, Oh, Obsession. Oh, my God, I was thinking Succession. I saw like a, Jesus Christ. I saw like a four-hour video essay about how, um, bear might actually be the bad guy. What? Yeah, I'm just kidding.

Huh? It was from like the media genius. Yeah. I did see, I saw a TikTok about that and I haven't seen an obsession so I didn't know

that the guy's name was Bear. And so the TikTok was just like, Bears are the villains. Yeah, that's obvious. Well, not everyone knows that. He tried to put all the toys in an incinerator. I think it's kind of obvious.

And I was like, I don't, I don't get, because I didn't know Bear was the obsession guy. So I was like, why are we talking about Toy Story 3 back in the Zike? That's the, You didn't think of the animal. You went to Toy Story 3, which is, I guess, not something that I think about.

No, like, that was the TikTok. Is his name? Because the internet was joking about how. Oh, I see, I see, I see. Bears the villain is an intellect take. I see now. Okay, I got it now. So he's making a joke about Toy Story 3, but I didn't know about obsession.

Yeah, that's funny. Obsession has, like, such a weird. I feel like people have a very strange relationship with obsession because I think people feel self-conscious when they enjoy something that they aren't participating in? I think there's like an anxiety that like, well, I just had a really good time with that movie and it resonated with me. Did you guys think about this? The biggest issue I had is that I enjoyed myself, but characters on screen were doing bad stuff. I don't understand. And I don't. And I don't think that's okay. Like, I don't want to co-sign using a mystical toy to control someone against their will.

I don't think that's... I don't think that's... ...it's a breach of someone's autonomy of their boundaries. And I'll say it, I'm done with magic sticks. No more magic sticks, okay? Dude, we're canceling it. It's over. I do love it in that movie how it's like, no, the sticks are actually fine.

The sticks just don't be weird. It's funny when they call support. And the guy at the person at the store is just like, just don't be weird with it. Like don't do. And everyone is. It's like, don't worry, bro. I got this. I want her to be in love with me forever.

Oh, man, you fuck the stick up. Um, can we play the second coach Jackie, um, TikTok? This is coach Jackie boys. This reminds me of, uh, how when someone, during like the Pledge of Allegiance, that we all were taught to do as little lemmings, little bots, and no one questioned it. When someone would question it, we'd be like, ugh, who's this terrorist?

Yeah, get out of here. Like, I just think back to that, and it'd be like, whoa. You're not going to take your hat off? Yeah, you're not going to freaking put your hat on your heart to protect it. The president will explode if you don't do that. It loses wings. You need to shade your heart from the sun. You need to, yeah, dude, freaking, what the heck?

Wow, that is funny. You guys all have that lockdown. I pledge allegiance to the five. Like if I didn't know to do the Macarena or something. And to the Republic for which it stands, One nation, under God. What? Indivisible. Great word. Great word. No one was saying indivisible.

I always find myself in these like little things where I'm like, we've definitely said that on a show before. And I'm an MPC. Hey, at times a flat circle, I've been 32 for five years. Did you know that Trump's stupid Patriot Games kicked the women's Decafalon World Championships out of their venue five weeks before the event? Let's talk about.

And co-chackey with all your women's sports news and the protect woman sports crowd strikes again. So the decathlon is the all-round track event where the athletes compete in throwing, running, jumping, all of it. But women don't officially have a world championship. You think like single sport athletes resent the Catholic athletes? It's like, well, you think you can do it all over. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, well, I bet. Oh, you did. Yeah, okay.

Well, that's fine. But you can't do it as well as the thing I can do. You're close, though, and that is really quite scary. It was when Dave Grohl created foo fighters, and all of a sudden he's singing and playing guitar and people are like, whatever. Get back on the drums, Nirvana, dog. You're one of the best drummers and that's where you belong. Yeah, I saw a video of Patrick Stump of Fall Boy Fame singing while playing drums in like another band he's in. And I was like, fuck this guy.

I mean, you think you're so cool, don't you? What the fuck? And why does he sound good? You're like doing a podcast. You did it. It went well. No, obviously women compete in the decathlon. They're just not given the opportunity to do it at the world stage.

And that's where Lauren Kutz came in two years ago and said, okay, I'm just going to do it myself then. We're just going to host our own women's decathlon world champion. Pointing. Oh. That would be cool. But this year, five weeks before the world championships were supposed to happen, she got a call the venue was pulling out because they were instead going to be hosting

Trump's Patriot games where one boy and every one girl from every state compete in this stupid, dystopic bullshit. I want to know the difference between this and like, the president's test. Well, that's, that's just something you do in elementary school, right? Elementary school. Oh, really? Well, high school.

I was just to say, you have to climb a rope, right? Yeah. Don't you? But like an elementary school. We never did it. I never did it. I never did it. No, it was like, it used to be a, it used to be a thing.

It used to be a thing you had to do every year. It's, I think it's mostly the 80s and 90s. I don't think. Yeah. What? We didn't. We didn't have it like my, my, and I'm, and I'm a hundred years old. So we didn't have it back.

my day. Yeah, I think it, I think they stopped doing it after a while, but essentially what it was, was every kid had to pass certain physical feats. This is, which I feel like the president would also have to be able to do these things to call it. But the crazy thing about this is that they didn't actually measure it. One was like, can you reach your toes? Can you hang from a bar? Oh, well, wait. Can you climb a rope? Well, I mean, we did those, but we didn't It's all the president's test. They called it internally the president. So we had to do it every year and if you didn't pass it, you had to like do extra P.E or something. Oh yeah.

We did. We did this. Yeah, we didn't. They count your setups and they can't your Precious. They can't do any of this. If you fail to. They put me in special math. They said you don't have to do athletic.

You have to read for 45 minutes. Sorry. You can this gram pacer test is a multi-stage aerobic capacity test. But they brought this back. What's his face? Robert Downey Death Night What's his name?

Bear Eater? Mr. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Oh, R. F.K. The box. Deep throat or whatever? Deep throat. Okay, they carve the deep throat goat. R.F. Throat.

The throat goat. The throat. My throat goat. Because of the fact that Trump's administration is like, protect women's sports by not letting trans athletes participate. Unless.

Unless, okay? But you're not protecting women's sports. You're actually doing so much against women's sports, including transvestigating and that kind of thing. Yeah. Anyways. And this is just like a huge example of that. She had to like have lawyers help her out pro bono.

They reached a settlement. She's able to get money to then be able to find another venue last minute. So the woman's decapital on World Championships ended up still happening last weekend at Oberlin College. That's impressive. Also shout at Oberlin. That's such a cool photo. A women's college?

Is it one of the, because there's like that group of, I can never remember. I think it's historically, but I don't know if it still is. I just want to give kudos to that aura farming photo. It's so cool.

But she's charging an energy blast. My sister did shop put. And she almost like qualified for the Olympics. But then the wokeness stopped her. Oh yeah, yeah, she was defeated by a man named Greg. Which,

and it happens all the time it never has, but what if it did. She was defeated by Ennis Cantor. I don't think it's a women's college. Oh, okay. I'm thinking of there's like three famous. I always mix their names up. I can, I don't have my phone.

There's like the women's college Ivy League school. Like they're the quote unquote. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. Barnard. Barnard. Okay, that's one. Is Brown? No, no.

Smith. Smith. Okay. Spellman. Sperman. Well, Spelman is a, it might be scripts. Spellman is a Wizard

Historically is HBCU It may also Oh it's also Yeah I think it's It's a combo It's a twofer It's one of those

BIPAX Women's College Coalition I think is what you're thinking Oh The kind of like The coalition of women's colleges I all this is from back Like when I had to

My aunt made me Like research colleges When I was Mount Holyoke No I think it was just though I know Barnard's So I know that So back in the day

like Harvard didn't accept women but eventually they created a separate separate women's college so I think that's like how historically some of these were similar to like HBCUs I'm not allowed to have my own I don't know they used to treat black people different or something

I don't know I don't think so I saw a 15 year old kid on Twitter told me that get over it you've also been watching James the Spartan Critical master profile picture that's like, you know, like silhouette of their facial hair and eyebrows only. Oh yeah, yeah, of course. It's in clip art font. It looks like a gym jab. Yeah. 15-hour video essay. Is Tony Soprano a hero? Hmm. Understood genius. The pickle rick side. Dude, I, I'll never forgive Rick and Morty fans for ruining Rick and Morty for me.

We could have had something. I mean, we have friends who write for that show. I think that show is so funny. But it's one of those American psycho-ass things where people just go, actually the bad guy's a good guy because I have no media literacy. Nick Weyer is writing on that show now.

Oh shit. Past guests. That is two past Sadboys guests because I think Garrick also. Yeah. And so that's two past Sadboy's guests writing on that show. I wrote, you know, four seasons of those show.

And I stayed at the four seasons one time. Me? Royland. I used to listen to the four seasons. There were a group of guys that sing music. A band? The fucking group of guys. It's a ragdad group of misfits.

Okay. Do you want to finish this or do you want to move on to the cringy boy? We've only got three seconds left of Jackie. Let's listen to three seconds. Let her speak. Five national records were set in one weekend. An Australian Cameron Newton Smith ended up taking home the goal. But it all almost didn't happen because Trump was too busy with his reality TV show.

These are the kind of things in women's sports that would actually be worth our government's time if they wanted to push forward women's sports and create change. But instead, they're focused on things that do the opposite. I just want to shout out coach Jackie Jay because like it is, she does great like education about women's sports also is hilarious. And then also like the fact that it's it's really illuminating for how many, you know, men, uh, talking to transphobic. about protecting women's sports. It's very much the ethics of games journalism. Yes. And so like you have people like coach Jackie Jay who are like act like actually kind of walking the walk and educating and and in kind of advocating for women's sports and in highlighting the the voices.

We're not being like willfully so incurious about it. Yeah. This is my really, really feel this thing right now. I assume. I think that the thing I don't like. is the thing I'm going to focus on because it feels fulfilling to complain about something and I don't have any principles. I wonder, and this is a topic for another discussion, I wonder if she's done stuff on the WMBA, because she's a big basketball head too. Oh, yeah. I wonder if she did the, talked about the, the N.S. Cantor and then that one guy saying that they were going to.

Oh, maybe. I wonder too. Yeah, there are two former NBA players. In Ness Cantor, the most fucking annoying, like, because he basically just became a grifter. because he's like a Turkish dude who like a naturalized citizen I think So they actually played one of the songs Going into the Octagon

to bring up these kids His Lom Markachev is in there During the broadcast I don't know if it was in the arena I assume it was They actually played one of the Hunger Game soundtrack songs Because it's you know

It's like born in the USA It's like just With misusing every song This actually reminds me So you guys talked with Tom Scott about gladiators and the British version versus the American version. And this kind of reminds me of it. Yeah. It has a very gladiator vibe.

Checking in for the Patriot games. And by the way, like, dude, whatever, I'm not going to shit on these athletes or essays. On these writers. I'm not. The poets and intellectuals that are like. Like, I have no interest in doing that, but, uh, I think what I think what's funny is like, if this was under, I don't know, this feels, this is a very 70s type event where it's like, if you heard that your parents generation had a thing, yeah, every four years, everything called

the Patriot Games and we'd have to write a little essay and we'd get in and I met your mother by harassing her for five years. And every time she said, no, I would just turn up and sing music outside of door. You'd bundle it in with those weird anecdotes. It's like, okay, whatever, don't talk to me. I love in sync, but before the pod, we were listening to a song where essentially, like, I can't remember it was what the actual song is called. But it's basically like never, oh yeah, I will never stop until you're mine. And that's a romance song about love.

And you're like holding the headphone a little closer. I will never stop until you're mind. Oh, that one. I can wait forever to the end of time. Because I'm outside of your house. This is like the most normal kid ever. Sure. Who is just like athletic and decent grades.

And then this thing is happening. He's sick with the president. He slick with it. He's slick with it. He's written all the best chat GDP prompts to submit to this. The fact that. Oh my God. You're so right.

No one wrote these fucking things. Oh my Lord. No one wrote them. What? Wait. No. Go back up. That is the fucking

TikTok image of the White House. That's so funny. Oh, my Lord. Welcome to the golden age of America is like a parody. That is humiliating. This is what the rest of the world's making fun of us for.

Why are we doing this? Dude, it's literally like you are in front of a big stinky poop from the butt. Check this shit out. Yeah, you're literally check this shit out. I've gotten the goldest shit in the world. I can't believe. Believe it.

Some humility would be nice. What's off? This is Pat McAfee live from the Patriotans here at Geneva, Ohio. As we're celebrating a 20-50. Dude, this even has like that, like, kind of disappointing me small scale. Pat McAfee, ESPN's darling. That's what I was saying about the U.S. versus the British one. It's oddly small.

The U.S., like this reminds me of the tiny, it's in a studio. It's not like in a place that... can hold a large amount of people. Why do they have to kick out the, they could have done this anywhere. Well, I think it was a track event that they kicked out. Yeah,

hard to find those. It's like a school, you know? Yeah. The thing that at school have. What's crazy is the graphic design literally looks like it was generated with AI. Yep, 100%.

Like it's like. That's a Canva preset. That is like, yeah. Oh, at best. Yeah, best case scenario.

That's like freewebs. com, This, I gotta say, incredibly bold to call it the 2026 one. Oh, of course. Like now it's an annual event. I mean, I can list off all the winners through the century. We've been running the Patriot games. There's the guy.

The first one. Oh, my God, there's John, man. You have to fight Trump at the end, like it's Street Fighter. How long does this fucking Freedom 250 shit last? Has it? 250 more years. But maybe not. Yeah.

I guess because they'd been, they started it. in 2025 for 2026. As we are celebrating the 250th year of the greatest country on earth and promoting high schoolers, remaining fit and active. The president's here. Pat McAfee's so funny. He's like, it refuses to put on a suit. My other question, where the minorities at?

Well, they needed the most athletic people. Oh, okay, okay, okay. And the best essay is. That's true. The mind of the white. They need the mind. Yeah, the mind. I'm looking, I'm looking for the one token black.

Wasn't that the name of the South Bar character? Yeah, token. Yeah. He's in this. Not to harp on things that don't really matter. And this is stupid. I fucking I hate Donald Trump's signature. Oh, it's so funny.

It looks like a heart monitor. I was literally going to say this. It looks like a heart monitor right before you die. This looks like the waveform where they like at the end of the jinx. This is like where we suddenly. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, I did all the crimes. What was that?

Then that last point's, ooh. Oh, uh-oh. They were right the whole time. I did it all. Didn't make it up. Date August 2026. I love, the bank loves it when I write a month, the vague month. Nice and vague, nice and broad.

And when it's to no bank. Oh, yes. Well, it's been gashed by the Patriot Games. For celebrating the triumph of the American spirit. Cool. Let's have a night. still looking for the the lick of melanin

just give me a little tad did he win oh congrats I guess and the best boy is me oh my god I defeated all of them I would pay any amount of money to see footage of him on monkey bows

his arms with the tats from his body Freedom 250 has their own TikTok by the way oh great oh and the course they had the techie countries Joe. What the fuck?

What? Look at that third thumbnail. What happened? This is what World War is all about. Oh, I thought something happened to the game. Look, the zoom out, like it's a drone shot of a Mr. Beast video. I'm looking at all of the graves of those lost in my videos. Oh.

Who's this cow poke? Oh, wait. There's a Black Patriot. Oh. What? We found him. Oh. Arizona's the greatest state because we got Arizona T.

That's not made in a lot. Arizona. Arizona ice tea is not from Arizona. I'm sorry. Guam's the best state. Yeah, Guam's not a state. Are we not teaching

anything about anything anymore? Well, I mean, what did they put in the estate? Did you guys see the, it was like Kentucky or whatever who had like a AI generated periodic table that was like incorrect? And it was like in schools. We have that.

And they had an AI generated map of the United States as well. We have those. Yeah. We did those a while ago. You don't need to generate. You don't need to generate. Just copy. I can't.

They don't have that for computers yet. Wow. Guam is not a state. It's a territory. Because... This is the best of the best? Maybe that's why. It's the best state because it isn't.

Also, I don't believe she's from Guam. No offense. Territory. Yes, yeah, I wasn't going to say that. I wasn't going to be that brave. All right, we can keep watching because this is awesome. Arizona T, by the way, yeah, is headquartered in New Jersey. Yeah.

Does enough. Yeah, no, this place is very close. They have fresh fruit, mango, pineapple, bananas, you name it. Beaches are gorgeous, white sand and clean water. So if you ever want to beach day, you should go. Alabama is the number one state in the entire United States of America because of Panama City Beach, seaside, and the football environment. The football environment is very funny. That sounds like a hunger game.

Seaside and Panama City beach are most of Florida. enough. Again, guys, it's a small country. There's not a, you know, America is a teenyy little country. Five states. Wait, Panama City Beach. Is there a Panama City beach in? Alabama has almost no coast. Right. Mobile's the only coast and Gulf Shores.

Alabama is the number one state in the union because you can drive to Florida. You can leave. Panama City beaches in Florida. Seaside, Florida. Is this comedy? Is this parody? Also, very funny to say, if you ever want a beach day, go to Guam. My favorite is when, and this is...

You have to cross water to get there. I keep, when she goes, if beach, uh, white, um, yeah, Guam is my favorite state. I've never been to Guam. Well, they, I've heard have some cool stuff. They have fruit. They have fruit. You name it. I googled it right before we started recording and I can't remember what it said.

Gras bananas, you name it. So they just had to be high schoolers, well, when they applied. But since it was in the fall, I think some of them... Yeah, that makes sense. I don't know. But, okay.

Well... So they're between 14 to 18. That's huge. That's crazy. That's crazy. I mean, that high school, I guess. But that's insane. A 14-year-old competing against an 18-year-old.

The FInty-E-E-Fis. Physically different. Survival of the fittest. Wow. Well, the 14-year-olds, there's no 14-year-olds of this because they were killed. I want to see if any new states drop live in the video. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I want some new facts about states, too. That are not in the state. Nevada's the greatest state because we have great oceans, white sand beaches. We got New York. We got America in there. Tokyo is the best state. It's all of Nevada. We got the Eiffel Tower.

It's got the real one. They do have the Eiffel Tower. It's the one thing that they have. They have the pyramids. Oh, gosh. The Bermuda Triangle is the best day. Oh, no. We got Circus, Circus.

Nevada is the greatest state in the U.S. because not only do we have the most famous city in the world, Las Vegas. We also have beautiful national parks and so much outdoor activities to do. Personally, I think Alaska is the greatest state because, like, guys, you can go down hills like Aliasco. Let me tell you right now, best place to go. Moose, like literally bears.

You guys are hearing this, right? I smell toast. Moose, caribou, unga slimy, see, bounce with it. You can go downhill. He's talking about Stroud.

What is... It's cheese rolling. What is Aliasca, or did she just decide to pronounce Alaska weird? And is this a parody? Aliasca is a resort. Oh.

It's a ski resort. How do you think of that day? Oh, she's talking about skiing. I just, you can go down... Hey. Wait a second. Did they say, why is Alaska the best thing?

She's like, let me tell you about the... ski resort. Is that in Alaska? Yeah. It's where we have skiing. The one place. Wait, it's super funny to think about the privileged kid that's only experienced as the resort. Did they just

like not give her any time to prepare? Because this feels like they went, they went, tell us about Alaska and handed her a mic and she was like, hey. Oh, guys, oh my God. Moose, caribou? Oh, my God. Sounds like Simlish. Fricing. Marlago, best state.

It has hills. guy, you can go up and down him. Whatever, dude. These, these are kids for the most part. Yeah, there's 14-year-old kids. Bro. They've been to one state. It's cool.

Most of my thing is, like, the people filming this could have just done, they could have helped them out. They could have asked him something other than like, they gave him a flash card. Maybe when they say Guam, stop him for a second, go right back a little bit. Well, because the question is, tell us why Guam is the best state. They go like, and restate the question. All right, Minnesota is the best state because of the people and the compassion and the community that everyone brings. And also the schooling and BPS and I love them.

And also because it's the best state to live in by the census. It's got a six on the scale and it's an amazing to live. This guy is way too important. They gave him the most screen time because he is the only one who came for Bay. The essay, he said, he said the essay in it was only math. It was just data. I don't know if any of that stuff he said was true. I'll take his word for.

He makes a word for it. I don't even know what some of those acronyms were. They got a six. I don't know if that's good, but his enthusiasm makes me think it's a good score. It's out of 40. And the thing is, he's from Minnesota. The Minnesotan charm is making me think that

he's a kind-hearted soul who is put up to this by some sort of evil force. Yeah. I just saw one of the comments is as someone who was homeschooled the vines here are crazy. Idaho is the coolest state to be from because we have potatoes and the fresh... You can just move.

I believe him, he's from Idaho. Yeah, I believe him. He said we. We have potatoes. And that's my only bar. That's awesome. No one else has potatoes. That's the parody answer.

Fucking, I don't know, a hail. It is essentially if you ask the Guam girl about Idaho would say the same thing. Potatoes. These jerseys remind me of the Disney Channel games, and that's upsetting to me. It honestly, the production quality is so much worse than streaming. You know what I mean? Yeah. It does look.

similar. Was this like a reality show starring all the actors? It was a it was like an event. I think they could only get them in the room one time. I think the Disney Channel games and the Patriot games both just have the vibe of a school field day. Let me see if I can name some of these people. Okay, is that Zach Efron on the left? He looks very strange and then I don't know who the next person to the right is and by the way it doesn't look like that. Something's wrong with his face and I think that's one of the Pana Bakers and then that guy was in a movie um was he in wendy woo homecoming warrior or was he in something else and then that's dylan or cole spruce and then moises areas that's a spruce yeah whoa i didn't know they were

had glam haircuts yeah they did they had glam rock haircuts and that's him now you old yet potato um the chick fillet fries that everybody loves the criss crop yeah we have that plant um i'm about 50 minutes away from it so it's super cool and i'm It's amazing. We get to come and do this stuff. Flash forward. We have like, we have like one of the chatuby D data centers in our town. You know the place that makes all your homework?

It's inconceivable that you're doing. We have that place that cheats on the SA you send in to Trump so you can like fall over on obstacle costs. Yeah, our homework gets done extra fast because we're so close to the data center. He said we have that plant and now I realize he was talking about the place where they make, but I thought he just met potato plants. Someone should tell them they're called waffle fries. You know the fries, the crisscross. That's what they would call them in like the 50s.

Well, crisscross apples sauce. We've crisscrossed the fries. Wow. My new invention. Next, I'm going to try something called soda pop. These kids are all so well-intentioned. They are. Yeah, I have no problem with the kids again.

It's just so funny seeing the complete lack of care on the part of the production. Yeah, it's like literally they just like ambush these kids like guerrilla style. Like, go ahead. Say some shit. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I think the whole event is like very poorly thought out. They had that really well-produced trailer,

and I guarantee that's the only footage that exists that looks like that. Oh, yeah, that's every penny. That edit is waiting to be paid. Oh, yeah, they're not. They're going to be on Twitter in a few days saying, hey, I never got my payment. You won't believe this. And it's going to be removed by Elon Musk personally.

Oh, that's what I was going to say. No music sting. That's kind of dark. I thought, yeah, don't we love like a, Something. Freedom to 50. You should have wrote the music and performed it. I'm an old crooner.

I'm an old crooner. Yeah, I'm a patriot game. Normally I'm singing in Italian. Uh, bye. I keep reading Guamas Gundam. Gundam is the best It is It's an in and a D

You know it's a place What are we going to do on nights? Oh on Sabley's Knights There's a weird Maybe it's a sex convention I'm afraid to talk about it on the main show But we got Three piece of information

It's called boutique horny camp And there's so First of all those could all be just adjectives I saw an ad for it Adam Kanovers involved And I don't know why or how I know. He's ruining it.

He's ruining everything, including, I can't say that. I'll say it on nights. Patreon.com slash sad boys. Would be there for $5 of your discretionary entertainment spending. If you care to do so, there is no pressure to do so. But if you do there or now. 100 something. Yeah, something fast approaching Freedom 250 episodes.

Yes, that's right. When we get to 250, we're going to do the We're going to do the Sal Boys games. We're going to be doing Who Can Escape the Burning House First? We have an entire middle school of essay writers. We're going to find a boy and a girl from every episode of soundbill.

We have to do the monkey bars 50 times. They make them, we'll make them do the PETA camouflage makeup thing. You don't know what I'm doing that. Oh, PETA when he becomes a cake, rock. We end every episode of tabloys with a very simple phrase. We love you.

And we're sorry. It's the end of the show Patriot game Gucci girl Gucci girl How you doing How you moving girl Moving girl

How she's dead looking That future girl Yeah we're on now Take my money go away Are you wanted Go too rich for me