Sad Boyz - The NYC Portal Was An Immediate Disaster (w/ Stanz)

Episode Date: May 17, 2024

Nathan Stanz joins Sad Boyz in finding where the New York City portal went wrong, and what's up with Missouri Secretary of State Candidate, Valentina Gomez. Check out our 50+ bonus eps on Patreon P.O. Box ▸ 3108 Glendale Blvd Suite 540, Los Angeles CA 90039 ⏯️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Watch us on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⏯️ ✨follow us✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  📺main channels📺  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jarvis⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jordan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ✨follow jordan✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ✨follow jarvis✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  🎶outro music🎶 @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank Chapters: 00:00:00 Stanz! 00:01:09 Streamer Mode - Terrible Memes 00:10:29 The Sad Boyz x Stanz Lore 00:15:40 Stages of Life 00:22:35 Jake Paul/Mike Tyson 00:25:53 Valentina Gomez 00:38:42 Jake Paul, Mike Tyson (cont.) 00:42:39 Club 520 00:51:00 NYC/Dublin Portal 01:10:42 Rediscovering Childhood Media 01:16:56 Watching Movies Era 01:24:43 Sad Boyz Nightz

Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. Oh, I don't know if it's saying in the edit, but we're doing this before the show. He's a fucking genius. He's Tony Stark of the modern age. We are joined by a very special guest. Actually, his second time on the podcast, but you wouldn't know it because it's one of our last episodes. Lost to history. I was going to ask. I thought I went crazy. Yeah, Nathan One Night Stand stance. Yeah, I was going to ask. I thought I went crazy. Yeah. Nathan One Night Stands stands. Yeah.

I was online. Of esportsmanlike conduct. You guys were in the audience. Talk about dead podcasts, man. The legend of ARK's unsportsmanlike podcast. Yeah. That one we didn't do but talked about. All the good stuff I've done is completely over.

Right. Right. You know you're over the hill when that's what people remember. People being us. Yeah. Us and like a close group of friends. Welcome to, welcome back, but welcome for the first time to the in-person version of the show. Yeah, this is very real. Yeah, we like to, we're tactile now.

Yeah, I have a problem with sensations. Yeah, it's a 4D experience. We got smells going. He spit on my face right before we went live. Right, that was our mister. That's the Patreon only section. No socks, all spit. Of course.

How you doing, buddy? I'm doing great. Yeah, yeah. I'm chilling. You're an early streamer. I'm an early streamer, which sucks, man. Like one of our editors was like, Stan's streaming this morning. He's wearing your merch.

Yeah, I was. Yeah. I actually changed because I thought that was too much. That's okay. Yeah. It looks like shit. Yeah. It looks really bad. Yeah, it's too much for the people to see. Yeah, I was. I actually changed because I thought that was too much. That's okay. Yeah, it looks like shit. Yeah, it's too much for the people to see. Right, right, right.

You're already too good. The merch I sell is the nipples are cut out. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I thought that was just my version. Right, that was a TOS concern. Or like you don't,

it happens to every single person, but it's like a little surprise. You're like, oh, more manufacturing damage. How did this happen? Yeah. Oh, goodness. Well, I guess you're going to have to wear it.

I remember you were telling me that you, because of the hours that you stream, have like more of a British audience. Absolutely. I kind of leaned into the Tiaboo thing like early on. I was watching Taskmaster. I was like pretending i liked british stuff a lot more i have the greg's crocs i didn't wear them today but yeah yeah it's just like the grocery store no eggs is like uh i'm trying to think of an equivalent it's almost like like poros for england if poros was more common it's like all pastries oh like pre-packaged

a lot of stuff but they have crocs oh no, so the Crocs are just like, it's funny to like rep Greg. I see. It's the same way that like H&M will have a Friends t-shirt. Or like 7-Eleven, you know what I mean? Right,

right. If you wear 7-Eleven. That makes sense. That makes sense. I bought my friend Joel a full Greg's fit for Christmas. Love that.

2022, I believe. And he only shops at Aldi. It's fucked. Yeah, nothing to Greg's. Yeah, no, only shops at aldi it's fucked yeah nothing to greg's uh yeah no greg's is like it's it's it's not a grocery store as much as it is a little indulgence for jordan when he gets off the plane their cornish pasty gone even a bunch of them don't know why don't know what happened maybe they went with the queen that was her secret recipe

like swans she owns all the cornish pasties do you guys see that painting of uh yeah with the red like you can't tell where he ends in the guys see that painting of her? Yeah, with the red. You can't tell where he ends and the background begins. That was of who was it? The king. Oh, yeah. With one butterfly on his chest. It looks like something that would be in Baldur's Gate. It really does.

You know when a simile gets you and you are attached to the wall and you can no longer move? Oh, right. Avernus. Avernus coated. Oh, yeah. He's been taped to the wall. Yeah, like Game of Thrones where the guy's in the tree. That's exactly what he looks like. Oh, dude. It'sus. Avernus coated. Oh, yeah. Like he's been taped to the- Yeah, like Game of Thrones where the guy's like in the tree.

That's exactly what he looks like. Oh, dude, it's the Last of Us fungus. It's been there for decades. Yeah, the scarlet rot. It is a weird choice for him. It is actually good art, though. I mean, we're making fun of it. No, it's good art.

You know what it reminds me of? You know those things that are going viral now of like AI making an image that like when you squint your eyes, it spells out something uh i have no idea what you're talking about like a magic item it'll be like a photo of like kids on the beach but yeah like this piece it's just you just pulled up a picture that says gay sex so it's like pictures of cats but then you squint your eyes okay so elon musk retweets these all the

time yes and it always says like gamer. Yeah, that one. Send the sin nudes dogs. Oh, send nudes as the puppies. Yeah. So it feels like- What a crazy coincidence that those dogs- They stood in that exact position.

Yeah, yeah. That was, yeah. It's kind of inappropriate on that part actually. Put them down. God, do you remember that trend? Was it last month? Look at the letter next to c on oh look between insufferable shocking it's like time travel what's really crazy is five percent of them were

real jokes and 95 of them were just unparsable like fake things because it got meta immediately and then everybody was like look between d's and nuts on your keyboard or whatever that would be funnier than most of the ones I saw, to be perfectly honest. I'm so conflicted when I see that kind of blue check behavior because it's clearly from well-intentioned, just trying to have a nice time online mindset. It's almost always click on buy an Ethereum wallet.

But I don't want to poo-poo people having fun online. But the fatigue of opening up a genuinely unfunny tweet But I don't want to poo-poo people having fun online. Yeah, sure. But the fatigue of opening up a genuinely unfunny tweet and seeing endorsements for the first 50, just like, this rocks. Here's my one. Look between tab and E. Que. Imagine que.

Such a good one. Look between Q and Y. It's wort. Yeah, imagine quote such a good one look between Q and Y it's worked And then Elon tweeted that anyone farming engagement on Twitter will be it was like the same day He also like retweeted one of those and it was from the X account. Yeah Look at the look at the letters, but we are my Elon Look at my name's Elon You know

I think we missed out on the timeline where elon actually fought musk where he thought for a second that his way uh sorry zuck i was gonna say his father actually in the emerald mine elon's been fighting himself every day since there was a minute where i think he would have taken that fight and oh yeah because he's just like i'm so big i'm such a well that's what he kept saying. But then Zuck not only was like doing real like fighting, he's also swagged out now and he's on this huge PR campaign where he like,

he's like in chains and like graphic tees and he's got a cool haircut. Well, one of those was AI. I don't know if you guys know that or was Yossified. Oh yeah. The one with the chains.

Yeah, that one with the beard. The beard was Yossified. I got tagged in that one maybe a hundred times. The beard was Yossified but the chain is, well, there is a real chain. Yeah, the face was the only thing changed. Yeah, yeah the beard. The beard was Yossified. I got tagged in that one maybe a hundred times. The beard was Yossified, but the chain is, well, there is a real chain. Yeah, the face was the only thing changed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is the motivation behind him not having a beard? Do you think he can't? I don't think he can. Because he would look better. I don't think he can. You think it must just be a can? Yeah. I think he went to fashion a long time ago.

He was like, he's insulated for so much of his life. I wonder if no one was giving him that feedback. But yeah. If he can probably get like a billion dollar hair transplant though. Oh, imagine this. Zuckerberg gets a beard. I think he could take Cosmo Jarvis's role in Shogun. Could you imagine bearded Zuckerberg walking around Japan and just like experiencing?

And speaking fluent British Portuguese. Yes, exactly. Oh, and speaking a fluent British Portuguese. Yes, exactly. Oh man, that'd be so sick. Very good show. Did start it. Uh,

yeah, I'm only halfway through, but I really like haven't started it yet. Uh, but excited to, is it the Cosmo Jarvis element? Yeah. I just,

whenever there's my names in there, I'm like, well, Oh, right. They're not talking to me. I already revealed on the show that I couldn't keep watching Fallout because I was distracted by how attractive Ella Purnell is

and how she'll never know who I am. And so that became depressing. Is that true? I don't know. I think that's not true. One day. You think she's mad, dude? What the hell?

She's a woman. We've reached this part of the podcast. I think you could meet Ella Purnell. I think. We'll fist bump. Yeah, you have a couple of years. Two years from now, you're fucked. Hey, there's probably a reason she doesn't watch Sad Boys.

It's probably because we're too attractive. Yeah, people do often say, I wish I could watch this one, but you guys just look too good. My eyes. I watch on mute. I'm glued to the screen on mute. While listening to another podcast

I mean is there any part of you that kind of like fatigue wise would almost want to stop streaming to some degree because it is you have a very admirable routine you've done this now for years yeah I love it it's like the only thing I like I just go live

and I play a video game or I watch a show or I do whatever and it's like this is so pleasant and then it's like I jack out of the matrix I turn stream off and I play a video game or I watch a show or I do whatever. And it's like, this is so pleasant. You got new friends. And then it's like, I jack out of the matrix. I turn stream off and it's like responsibilities. Oh no. My only problem with streaming,

cause I, I enjoy it as well, but I just can't like, I get so, there's only so much energy I have for annoying people in the chat. And it like drains me. And then eventually I break and i'm like ah yeah i think maybe there's techniques yeah is there merit to doing it in the morning as i mean

mine is just it's just driving at full speed and eventually i am out of gas and that happens i guess perfectly nice time but if i've uh you know set three reactions i'm going to do halfway through the second or like whoo i think i might be done we have a heart rate on this wow okay jesus christ not even close and then in your case you doing it in the morning maybe else yeah i think it helps in a certain way in that it feels it is a more mature audience my audience is a little bit older and so i'm just like talking to it i'm just like talking to it would be similar like talking to you guys but just do a twitch chat yeah uh the disadvantage is they're not stupid enough to just like spam stuff which is incentivizing to new people that

come in because they're like what are we doing here it's like you walk into a bar and it's quiet you're like i don't know but if people are kind of losing look between between f and n exactly i think the only time i can stream for long periods of time or when i'm like We're kind of losing it. Look between F and N. Exactly. I think the only time I can stream for long periods of time are when I'm like really interested in a game. Like I streamed. Maybe like a 12 hour Baldur's Gate stream. Oh, like back to back days. Five days in a row.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like the power of ADHD hyper-focus. But each one of those, I think I like rage quit 12 hours in because someone was backseating. You can't call it a rage quit if it's 12 hours in. That was actually just you were, yeah. That's rest.

I rage quit by going to bed. I've been at work for I rage quit every night. I did 40 hours of work this week at my job. I'm rage quitting for the weekend. See you Monday. A nice 30 minute meditation followed by reading under candlelight.

Oh Jesus, it's Cody Romney. Cody mindset. Oh, yeah. I wake up every morning at 1 a.m. after sleeping for 15 minutes. I feel like we've already addressed this, but people will be like, whoa, I had no idea you guys knew each other. But then we also go way back. Yes.

We all used to be coworkers. We all used to be in the same office every day. Crazy. Do you ever think about your Patreon days? Yes. Really? Yeah, all the time. Really?

I quite enjoyed it because in terms of like fun to work, it was like a 99. Oh, yeah. It was like early stage startup that didn't know how to track anything. Yeah. It's like every, you could, in office space where the guy is like downstairs getting paid and not doing any work. That's what it felt like to me at Patreon. That literally does happen though in big tech companies. Like remember when Yahoo lost track of employees and they were like,

everybody has to come back to the office or else you're fired. Cause we don't know who's going to pay. If you don't come back, we're actually just cutting. We're calling a census for your own employees. Yeah. Who are you? What do you do?

Who's your boss? Like you accidentally lay off somebody's boss but not any of their reports and then there's just like headless employees running around collecting 150 grand a year so sick um yeah i mean i think it is medium scale right as we crept towards like what three what did you leave end of the second i'm bad with dates somewhere in the third year of something like that yeah but uh there was like i think an element of oh yep they've acknowledged the things that are missing and now reporting's a little bit more active and it's more satisfying to have reporting when you can tangibly see your growth or defend your position but at the same time i did enjoy the

summer we took off to play melee yes i was gonna say i had a completely different experience because like uh well you're on a team that did real work engineering was like always on fire and and like for the size that we were like my first like weeks i was like working at midnight like uh yeah or or like to do because it was like off hours for like the majority of our things and so we would have to like database migrations and things like that like in the dead of night and then um and then eventually we like had an on-call rotation and so then i would i would just have to be like database migrations and things like that like in the dead of night and then um and then eventually we like had an on-call rotation and so then i would i would just have to be like on weekends and shit like that like if something broke on the website i'd have to triage and figure out the person to fix it it's like that aspect of things i don't miss also that kind of the load

got balanced more when we like hired more engineers but especially when i started it was like everything was on fire all the time i think we got like maybe a false we were put in a false position of authority with our verticals because you were on at least initially primarily on like gaming yes creators and acquisition then i was on podcasting youtube stuff and this is what 2016 through 17 and we I mean this was my first job out of college yeah and I was not an authority at all right but I'd just been there since early on and I felt like our job when it was just the two of us was treated a little bit like going uh like they go to the temple they light the incense beneath the two fingers, the judgment, and they are like,

so we accidentally replaced all the paycheck with bullets. We shot all the creators. Oh no. What's the best approach to apologize to these creators? And we are like, say my B. Yeah, it was cool that like our job eventually was just to be a human being yeah everyone would be like holy shit i had no idea and we should email them a really long email

like no no because they won't read it and in the early days though the company truly did not know how to like prioritize resources because i remember uh we would have hack days, right? And my first hack day, I spent helping one of our trust and safety people. They were spending 40 hours a week looking through a queue of potentially fraudulent Patreon accounts and trying to decide who to leave on the platform or who was breaking the rules. And that tool barely worked.

And so it was like people were spending 40 hours a week fiddling with a piece of technology that had no maintenance. And so every time I would work on something like that for a hack day, I would become a hometown hero to all of the people who were like working on this tool and it wasn't a thing that we could get prioritized every time. It's crazy you had to do it on a hack day

you couldn't just do it on a Wednesday. Oh my god so many things like that. Oh man. Good times. I don't know about how you feel about it but I feel like I think I would be worse at the job now because at least kind of at my freshest and most enthusiastic

because part of the thing that really i think at least made me seem like i would be the authority on something was the undue confidence that i had right there's like a youthfulness excitement i feel like i have a specific type of cynicism that's not just cynical about the industry or the work or anything like that, but also about myself. And life in general. I am a stupid idiot and I'm getting older and my brain is slower. And I sort of don't think that I could muster the juice

for a late impromptu meeting about a problem I don't care about. It is crazy how much momentum you lose late 20s, early 30s it's tough maybe it's like early streaming you have to spend it cautiously and over time but i feel like we all maybe burned the candle i think also just being a creator you realize how much uh of the corporate understanding of creators is wrong and uh and so it's like oh I didn't know what I was talking well I wasn't I was an external facing but still it was like we think we know

what creators are experiencing and it's like not really though yeah you know or like missing missing the boat what's weird about I guess your day-to-day is you are now you do this three hours of streaming but also I mean the the neural pathways you were using back then, you're still using to some degree right now with, yeah, working on stuff. Like, yeah. So for people that don't know, I was a streamer full-time for two years, three years. And since then I have pulled back to start this company off-brand events company, game publishing company, kind of everything company. Uh, and it has been actually going back to doing work. Uh,

it's beautiful and terrible. It's fun, but I have to actually send emails again. I have to explain things to people again, and that has been a challenge. But it is nice that I've worked at Patreon. I do business. I genuinely do. Are we allowed to talk about it?

Yeah, we're allowed to talk about it. Fuck it. But obviously not the details until it happens. Yeah, but you talk about you were on Unpaid Intern. Oh. Yeah, a very fun show. Uh-huh, and definitely not just Taskmaster reskinned.

No, come on. I'm American. Is that America's funny somebody else? Pretty much, yeah. Well, I guess you also are different from us and you're a trad, dude. You're a trad husband. Dude, I'm like soy but jacked

trad pilled kind of guy okay yeah i know what some of those words i'm married i'm not wearing my ring but oh oh oh going on the pods i'm going to a crazy thing haven't told anyone i think i lost it oh shit about a month ago have not seen it have you told me i kind of mentioned it like have you seen it you know like i'm sure it's around but lost her months ago uh yeah sorry who about Rochelle? I kind of mentioned it. Like, have you seen it? You know, like I'm sure it's around. But lost her months ago. Yeah. Sorry, who's Rochelle? Lost her to Jeremy, the most handsome surfing instructor in town, I guess.

She's somewhere earning 150K a month at Yahoo. Off the grid. Off the grid, yeah. Off the grid. But yeah, what is, I mean, that's, you got married many moons ago. Yeah, I got married pretty young. I think I was 26. Okay.

I was 25. So this will be, it'll be seven years in October. Wow. Whatever that means. That's crazy. Congrats. Yeah, I got married pretty young. I think I was 26. Okay. I was 25. So this will be, it'll be seven years in October. Wow. Whatever that means. That's crazy. Congrats. That is crazy. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah. Sticking with it. Sticking with it. Yeah. You know what? We're looking, we flipped a coin last week. Okay.

Yeah. You know, you need to feel something. So you flip a coin just to see how it. To see. When it's in the air, you'll know. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You guys catch it out of the air and it's like, we can't reveal.

One finger on either side. You beat. You put it in a air, you'll know. Yeah, exactly, exactly. You guys catch it out of the air, and it's like, we can't reveal. One finger on either side, and you beat. You put it in a chest when things are bad. You're like, let's check the coin. It's like Schrodinger's cat. We're all sweating. Yeah, it's burned on one side. It's double heads. Yeah, I'm married.

I'm on norm. I think that is what is most at odds with me. Being a de-gen streamer. Exactly. I think my, not my my best like my natural state would probably be about 12 hours of streaming a day all right i just i really enjoy it does not drain me in the slightest i am not a good writer like i i love comedy but i love the live aspect because it takes away all the you have to like think about this and then you have to

what does it say about you wrote this joke and all kinds of stuff versus live you have to like think about this and then you have to, what does it say about you? You wrote this joke and all kinds of stuff. Versus live, you're just like, I'm going to say, this is the purest of who I am. And so every minute that I am not streaming and I'm doing another creative endeavor, it feels like a separation from what is at my core. It's tough. Going to the gym versus playing a sport.

Yeah, exactly. Or living like a caveman, you know what I mean? I'm a rancher and I fucking get the steer. I should be doing 12 hours a sport. Yeah, exactly. Or living like a caveman, you know what I mean? I'm a rancher and I get to steer. I should be doing 12 hours a day. I just got to get back on the land.

The land is your Aeron chair or whatever. Yeah, exactly. The Herman Miller. I've got the better back. My legs are kicked up. Well, I must say, partner in tarnation,

I've been going long enough. Welcome to September. Yes, sir. Thank you for the prize. As the season wraps up, me and my six-shooter will be finding our way over to kick. Somebody trips over your Lego Millennium Falcon. You go, you must not be around here. Yeah, exactly.

Let's not blame Jordan for when he stepped on the Millennium Falcon. For our partner, I done chosen to put it on my gray carpet. You know the Millennium Falcon is just in a giant suitcase in my room and I don't know what to do with it because it is like five sevens built. Is it because of my foot? And it was like one more thing happens. Like two things have happened to it, but I can't,

it's not enough to just like stick it back on. It looks like a real, real aircraft. I really got to call a guy to look at the oil or something. I'm going to give it to like a kid, but it's also like, that's kind of fucked. It's like, okay, now you have to take it all the way apart. Try and put it back together, which takes 15 hours. And also it's probably missing some pieces.

Han Solo couldn't do that. Yeah. There's got to be some enthusiast that is like, would die to have that opportunity. You give it to Ray. I do now think about, you know, like repair videos or cleaning videos. Like I watch a lot of videos where somebody's like,

I bought this broken PS5 off of eBay. I'm going to see if I can fix it. See if I can make it work. Yeah. I would love to see somebody who's like, I found this damaged

Millennium Falcon. We're going to see if we can fix it back up. What I see is it's missing its B-52 square. I've gone ahead and gotten a refurbished version of that. Oh, you know, partner, on closer inspection, I done stumbled my way across a missing L-piece.

This is from a Naboo starfighter. We can make it work. Yeah, yeah. It's like a, oh, what a find, boys. It's like when someone's driving a car and their door is a different color, he's a Lego guy with a bunch of like the Jawas or whatever. He's like trying to trade with them.

You return this to, if you need the stock door, you're going to find yourself in a whole heap of gold. Oh, these guys got everything over here. Now this piece has been discontinued, so we're just going to head on over to the 3D printer and get it fixed right up. Yous might be thinking that, well, I've lost Luke Skywalker. Ain't no way he can be here. You simply paint over Han Solo's facial hair and you got yourself a Luke.

You got yourself a Luke. You got yourself a Luke. They're both kissing his sister. Sexy either way. I thought I was a cowboy. Maybe I'm just from the South. Star Wars made today? They're kissing each other, bro.

Challenger style. Oh, wow. I would watch. These days with the woke. I do. I now am imagining like a Leia, Luke, and Han challengers on the bed. Thrupple. Yeah, like on the bed.

Trying to kiss at the same time getting stuck on cheeks. Chewie's like out the window crying. Yeah, yeah. Leia moves out of the way. Han and Luke kiss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chewie talks for the first time. He goes, oh, fuck.

Oh, no. Oh, rats. If I was Han Solo every now and again, I talk what are you doing yeah you sound insane to me he says something it's gilbert gottfried's voice and you're like oh okay go do the growl or whatever well shall we jump into what should we jump into i i don't know about the jake paul mike tyson fight stuff oh really well i mean i know vaguely about it but i don't know when it Jake Paul, Mike Tyson fight stuff. Oh, really? Well, I mean, I know vaguely about it, but I don't know when it's happening. The big revelation, if I'm not mistaken, about the Jake Paul, Mike Tyson fight is,

A, that it's not just posturing like it is actually happening. I think so much of it was, it's almost too obvious that it seemed unviable. It's like if you ask someone that has just heard about boxing as a concept muhammad ali i think i i had a different perspective where i always assumed it was happening because jake paul has been climbing this tiny ladder of like people who are are either very old and out of their prime or not different sports yeah yeah yeah it is really being like well i'm the i'm actually a the champion of backgammon we're like a chess match it's like just been boxing and he's like i'm gonna find an nba player yeah it's like honestly he could fight lebron yeah don't let him yeah i need i need two more years of uh nba from him 15 years into boxing he fights

baby gronk to just find out whether or not he'll stack up. Livvy in the audience crying. Livvy, was that who it was? Yeah, he was that. Thank you. Oh, no. Did Jake Paul riz up Livvy after defeating Baby Gronk? The big thing about the Jake Paul-Mike Tyson fight,

Jake Paul was going to wear headgear, and it was going to be like a non-sanctioned fight. I think it's a real fight now. I think it's a real fight now. He's taking off the headgear. He was trying to protect his ears. Yeah. He's just got a little iron cup for your crotch you can't protect your ear i'm gonna have you seen the mike tyson uh podcast clip where he's just like bawling talking about who he used to be yeah it makes me feel so oh that's crazy who am i if i'm not balking he's just literally

bawling yeah he's also 150 years old yeah i, I was going to say he's like 60. But supposedly. He was good, bro. In the 10 second clips I've seen and there's none longer than 10 seconds. There's none longer

than 10 seconds. I saw some people responding like, this clip's a year old. I'm like, okay. What if he's a year worse than this? Yeah. He's still very boxing.

I mean, I hope that, you know, he doesn't get hurt. And I also hope that he wins. I mean, I hope that, you know, he doesn't get hurt. And I also hope that he wins. I just don't, I just can't imagine how because I don't know how well you can condition at that age.

Right. But I don't know. Jake Paul's like, you know. Jake Paul's not bad at boxing. He's not bad at boxing. But, you know, there is a physical prime. And he's not even necessarily better at boxing not a not bad at boxing but you know there is a physical prime and he's made he's not even necessarily better at boxing yeah literally just better at score point performance yeah this right it's such a weird setup where it seems like parody and so to even

river now silly it is is silly yeah but fuck i hope he wins how funny would it be if mike tyson full he he spins up his arm like donkey kong charges it a little bit of steam above his head walk straight in one big punch yeah he uh builds up his little mac bar and he's using through the top of the mgm oh that'd be cool imagine he bites his ear it's like there's every different timeline of this fight happening has something interesting in it i want you dr strange to evaluate a few of the universes make sure we're the one where it goes things go crazy i'm not trying to get distracted but that video is crazy i didn't know that i saw that and had no clue that person was running for

office i thought it was just a random freak on the internet yeah she's running for the house of representatives uh it is a potentially american. Yeah. No, she's running for the house of representatives. Uh, it is a potentially American politician running in a bullet. She's like a secretary of state. And it's like, don't be weak and gay. And then that's like Catherine.

If you don't want to be weak and gay, Valentina Gomez, don't be weak and gay. Yeah. Oh, can you be either? Can you be weak and gay or gay? Uh huh.

Yeah. Oh, Dana White. Dana White gay or gay? Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, Dana White. Dana White. She's getting in the ring. Yeah. Wait, what is, what is her statement? I want to see that at the top of this. This looks like she's faked it.

Like it's someone else's body. You know, when you do like the elf yourself to make like a card, you want to be president. She's going to do the, like, peanut butter jelly type. Little tiny arms come up. But it does look like it's not her body. Okay. What happened to sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. We used to be strong, America.

We said that in elementary school. There's a bunch of. Hey, America is a great melting pot, but doing this with an accent feels like a fucking bit i also feel like t minus five seconds before she is crying on social media about something and people just quote tweet this yeah two minutes five seconds till she's vice president of the united states that's what she's going for five TOS5 until her criticism is, please stop being mean about Jerry Seinfeld's new movie. You're bullying him. About the Pop-Tart.

Yeah. I can't, by the way, we never talked about it. We watched Jerry Seinfeld. Did you watch the Pop-Tart one? No, not the movie, but we watched him talking about how like the woke has like ruined comedy or whatever. And then I found out his movie was about Pop-Tarts.

It is. I tried, I've watched like a few scenes offhand. I jumped around it. Maybe we should watch it for like the next episode for like a patreon or something but it is it's flaccid like to call to say that the thing that was getting in the way until he like self-financed and uses clout to make the movie he wants to make woke comedy was in the way it's almost like parody because this is the most vanilla all the jokes one of the jokes i'm not fucking kidding you and they're all like this is tony the tiger it's on set doing an ad and he goes

the scene opens and it's just tony tiger going they're right that's every single scene of the movie is a new brand with no like narrative tie between it also bilbo plays jfk for some reason then for some reason every single scene is that the joke is remember the slogan or the name yeah there's one i i know tang the drink used to be called something else and jerry tries it and he goes there's a tang to that and then melissa mccarthy goes yeah that would be a good name and that's it yeah that's the end of it the whole movie is that forest gump for jerry like going back in time and making every mascot popular wiping his face on uh cereal and it comes

out like a toucan yeah oh this could be perfect but woke actually made it so it wasn't let's say have to be two cans sam that's a really good man sam wait a minute this is already funnier than i know that that version of the movie would crush. It was like the weird alb over here. Okay, where she go from here? She's cool. Crying in politics and on social media. I need the alliance of America to wake up

Sounds like the oblivion NPCs that are playing behind. Especially like straight out of the camera. Have you heard about the high elves? We Nords need to be strong. We used to build, what happened to sticks and stones? That's the Nord.

Pretty good. That have sent our sons and daughters to die in wars that they profit from. Oh, okay. General Flynn said it best. When there is war, there's a failure in diplomacy. Okay. Damn, wait, based?

Wait, what the hell happened here? The world was at peace. No! Damn, she lost me! Oh no, because now I'm thinking about what her issue with the war is and who she's concerned about. That is such a straight... I do feel like there's a lot of aspiring Korea, Paul people

really struggling with what kind of cultural presentation to do when biden is such an advocate and supporter of the war where they going vaguely anti-war you can do that with they do it with afghanistan you can do whatever you can present as like because it's like being counterculture without doing anything but you guys aren't like like peace peace that's not what you mean you want our war you can't say you don't like the military. You just have to kind of like say like war, evil is bad, or like Voldemort, thumbs down, you know? And I think like, this is like Jerry Seinfeld being like,

it's all too woke. But also what if Tony the Tiger was crazy? What if he was so silly and he said poo-poo-doo-doo? It's like that. Wait, that's funny. That actually would be so silly. If you're doing war She's like- Wait, that's funny. Wait. That actually would- I would watch that.

If you're doing war, we will smite you down with our military might. Wait, what? Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones and drones will destroy you. Guns and drones will kill my friends. They did. We were-

It was you. I was going to say, we were talking about it. He died like a dog. Oh my God. You go, you were doing that for like an hour. I was dying. Cause Slime had never seen it. So it was like magical to get to introduce Slime to that clip.

But when Al-Baghdadi got killed, oh killed, when he was killed, there is a back to back section. He's just riffing. He's just live on doing the press conference. Not even pre-recorded, live press conference and a live stream. He was streaming riffing. He's just live doing the press conference, not even pre-recorded, live press conference, and a live stream.

He was streaming, 7 a.m. And he, back-to-back, says, he died like a dog, he died like a coward. It's one of the most, like... It's very funny. I can't wait to have, like, 50 years of distance so only the funny has to stay right yeah you can't forget the other stuff he's on his 50th it's not gonna be like baron's the god ever

where people are posting fan cams of george w bud they're like i miss him you need to go back to classical style which is what he saw last time um But he paints now so it's all good. He's best friends with Ellen dude. God. When Ellen was like my friend. It was really upsetting. Like the sinister sex. I've never heard anything good about Ellen.

Like the way she treats her staff. But do you see the pranks? Yeah exactly. And the dancing. Imagine you sit down and there's a guy behind the chair or something there's even like her uh pressuring mariah carey to announce a pregnancy yeah and and and then that was premature to announce and then like it didn't you know carry the term carry the term and it was just lots of bad stuff she just only has bad reputation it's kind of bizarre i talked about ellen once because she apologized about

something and i was kind of talking about why talked about Ellen once because she apologized about something. And I was kind of talking about why it was a bad apology. And then that video got flagged on YouTube for discussion of catastrophic loss of human life. What? Yeah, it was like misflagged. And I was like, damn, me talking to camera about Ellen. It was literally just footage of my face and footage of Ellen's show. And they were like, you were talking about war. You were showing war. You were showing

war. You were trying to kill a lot of people with your bobs. You destroyed Ellen. What comedian destroys Ellen? I did do that. Well, how does she wrap this up? Do you have like a tag, like later invaders? Let me tell you something. I really miss those mean tweets right about now.

President Trump, I have your back. It's a meme. It's just kind of so in the music. Tim and Eric wrong aspect ratio, weird proportion. Yeah. There's always an American flag somewhere in sight. Yeah, it's floating. It's like a buff.

The truck is like so big. Yeah, how big truck versus how small lady? Yeah. And well, big gun, so small lady, I would guess. Yeah. She's almost doing the.5 thing. She's one step away from Zoomer. Yeah.

Is the camera a little lower? She like puts it on her forehead. She's doing that. Yeah, me and the gun. She's set up with a Master Chief dual wielding style. Left trigger to shoot the pistol. It does look like a Master Chief type gun. Like if she had plate armor that was like that color.

Yeah, why is it so boxy on front? It's like a lot of ammo. Wait, I don't know enough about guns. What's the plan to fire the rifle when her other hand has a gun in it? Yeah. I didn't even realize she had a pistol in her right hand. Yeah, you got to have the offhand pistol

when you've got the main hand mega assault rifle. She's going to reload the rifle with the pistol. It looks like you can fit a pistol in there. I can load it into it. Like a Gundam. Like the pistol is piloting the rifle. Yeah, the pistol is flown by your partner. It is crazy how brazen people are.

It's just like, you don't want to be gay. I went and saw, we had some friends come up, and I didn't want to do it, but we saw Shane Gillis and Andrew Schultz, and it was exactly the audience that I think would fucking eat that up. You know what I mean? Because all the jokes were like, and I didn't want them to think I was gay,

and then guy next to me wheezing and slapping. They were going to think he was gay, man. It's crazy. It's fun to use the high school, not even, like middle school version of gay in a pre-recorded political statement. And not even,

I mean, she just, I guess, maybe doesn't have any kind of team that would push back or even members on her team. She makes those herself, guaranteed. Oh my god, yeah. She's be holding it, wearing aviators in the truck front facing like, like pained over how many frames to show this photo. I don't want to just flick her on. I want you to be able to process what it is,

but then go back to my campaign slogan. It should have been on screen while she was talking with no call to action, by the way, it's just literally a picture where it doesn't say vote for me. It doesn't even say who she is. This is's only at the end you got to show that before and then at the very end oh there we go okay quick reminder don't be gay please sticks and stones dude look at how poorly cropped her hair isn't that i think she might have she's got magnetic lassoed herself yeah yeah i forgot people could do canva now people actually can get good at stuff

yeah this is like uh when you long press on a photo on the iPhone. That's a sticker. I've never done that on purpose, and it's always so fucking frustrating. Turning it into a sticker is very funny. I've been on my grind. I can't stop doing it. I feel like such a boomer. Like, hey, sport, do you see this?

I made a little sticker out of the photo. Wait, why is she wearing like a bulletproof vest on her daily run? Because she's LARPing. It's so funny. Oh, wait, oh, wait. She did it again. It's like a part of it. It's so funny. Oh wait, she did it again. It's like a part of it. Why isn't that the photo?

Oh, nice. She's got a country truck. God, that is funny. Music by the great Lupe Fiasco. And then Lupe Fiasco's team replied like, we're looking into this right now. It's like, I have bad news for you about Lupe Fiasco. Lupe Fiasco went to Obama's inauguration

and did the bar about Gazastrop was getting bombed, Obama didn't say shit back in like 2008 or 2012, I think, re-election. Do they not, you know, check? Yeah. I mean, the answer is no.

There's no punishment for any of this. You know what I mean? Okay, wait. I'm kind of jealous of her jump roping because I still can't figure out. Oh, you're not a jump rope guy? No, no, no, no. Wait, can we back up to for any of this. You know what I mean? Okay, wait. I'm kind of jealous of her jump roping because I still can't figure out. Oh, you're not a jump rope guy? No, no, no, no. Wait, can we back up to the beginning of this?

She was firing too rough. So like, I can't do that when I jump rope. I just have to like jump up and down. I can't do the like multiple feet thing. The stepping. Is this filmed in rural England? What the hell? Yeah.

Oh. Is that a storm trooper? A storm trooper?oper no i bet that's not even real guy what what is she training for the president she's like a super soldier like does she know that she's like training to be a the government and not like a sitting down job yeah her job is sitting down not like going to combat she's gonna do the john fetterman thing but instead of demanding everybody wear sweatpants or whatever she demands everybody does 15 minutes of cardio oh my god while wearing a fucking

suit t-shirt can i say something crazy i'm jealous yeah i wish hit me with a hammer and i'm like this i'm happier than a pig and shit that's so true If I'm allowed to be weak, gay, and dual fire rifles. Yeah, you want one third of it. To take out Arbiter with two rifles, sign me up. If Guilty Spark gets my ass kicked while I become V. I will be the, I will unify the Missouri, oh Missouri. I will unify the Missouri Republican Party. The establishment fears me because they cannot control me.

Is Missouri, what part of her is Missouri trying to control? Guns? I think Missouri's just getting a little too gay. Wait. I'm weak as well. 25 today? Like she's 25 years old? Scroll down.

Next week. That's what it says, yeah. She's older than us? Yeah, dude. We're young. Guns. Okay. What were we originally looking at before we got distracted by this?

Jake Paul and... And Mike Tyson. Yeah, the problem is you open up Twitter and there's so much stuff. She's training for that fight. I think Twitter is... The Twitter algo has been off for a while. I think it's back.

For me, I think it is back. It's like, hey, look at this awful thing. And I'm like, yeah, respect. Exclusively, whatever the last tweet I looked the longest at, I feel like I refresh it and it gives me 20 tweets of exactly that thing. Yeah. Oh, they did the face-off.

Now, Kith. Oh, they're doing... Oh, wait. I thought that was Andrew Tate. That was a real... They got to look like on purpose. He does look a little old. Mike Tyson looks like he's his promoter.

Yeah. He looks like his coach. His trainer, yeah. Good job, kid. Did he just pause on removing the face tattoo? Because he got it lasered like a few sessions. You can kind of tell it's dotted now. It's missing center.

It kind of just looks like it's faded, but it's not. It was removable that he was getting done. done yeah i always thought it was really cool it's one of those tattoos that doesn't work when it's fresh when it's like too dark it looks wrong but as a faded tattoo i forgot this was a netflix event they're streaming it yeah it's like netflix is a joke fest they're streaming the last time i tried to stream something it was like uh one of those romance show finales and nothing worked Yes, so that did happen, but then they did this whole Netflix is a joke fest and a bunch of those shows were live Oh, there was live stuff on yeah. Yeah, like John Mulaney shows were all live or not all of them

I don't know but Cat Williams had a live show the yodeling kid by the way Restart that clip and play it? The caption has me compelled. You would train me better, Jake or you, Mike. Me, definitely me. Older fighters have more heart and balls and weren't afraid, but I think the newer fighters have more skill and technique and are sharper. So that's why I'd be a better coach.

He's like answering a question. It was like, what did you think of the book report this month? I thought that in catcher in the ride, I feel like he's struggling to string together a sentence, but it can't be true. Is it popcorn reading? Where like they hand off between different people in the class.

Yeah. It was like, he's the one no one wanted to pick. I do not like green eggs and ham. I'm like, Jake, ham. I do not Sam I am So so so you think he has bigger balls who do you think's got a higher body count? What's your body count Jake?

That's Tommy Where's this kid mother? Thank you, Mike. Return to family values. Thank you, finally. It really took nothing to prompt that kid into full sneak-o'd arrangement. Like those kids that were at that conference. They're like, yeah, we hate women and stuff.

There he is. There he is. Yes. He's from those Knicks videos. Or from those New York videos or from those new york videos put put the sound on or is there some i knew that kid was was famous for some minecraft streamer that's you yes and he's also from the video about gen alpha slang oh man yeah i've seen this kid. He's making the rounds. Right.

He's like the funny version of that, that little Bill Clinton kid. Oh, that guy's weird. The more I learn about him from like other people as a weird dude. I mean, every time I see a clip, I'm like,

oh, this is what like super boring people talk about when they say you should see our group chat it's so twisted honestly if that stuff got out we would lose our jobs and it's just like somebody posting like my name jeff that would be way funnier and they're like uh eight zero zero eight five i think i was talking uh to you about the Jeff Teague clips or whatever. And he does that bit and he's like, and here's the craziest part. I got on the team. The guy wouldn't stop saying that to me.

He goes, you seen 21 Jump Street? My name Jeff. And he said it to me every day. So funny. That is pretty cool. I love that podcast. It's crazy how many there are because that's exclusively what my TikTok is. I had probably seen a hundred Jeff Teague stories,

but they're never ending. He's very prolific. So Jeff Teague is this former NBA player. He was a good player. He played on this like really good 2015 Hawks team. Where the whole team won player of the month. The whole team won player of the month. Which is like the most embarrassing thing.

Yeah. Exactly. It's illegal. But yeah, he's a good player. He's not like a, you know, I think he's one time all-star selection or something like that sure but anyway and he like won some championships like not as like the mate like a starter on the team but yeah he's around but they have a uh they have a podcast called do you remember the name of the podcast

i have no idea i feel like i've seen him on seven different club it's called club 520 i think okay maybe it does start to melt together jacob club 520 podcast i think. Okay. It does start to melt together a little bit. Jacob Club 520. Podcast, I wonder where you got that idea. But yeah, so their clips are going like, have been going super viral because it's just like Jeff Teague telling stories. Can you search shorts by most popular? I don't know if you can. Yeah, I think you can.

Okay. It's exactly what you would imagine. I think there's like two sides of like how people imagine NBA players. And one is like LeBron only eats fish, cryogenically freezing, like super soldier. And there's Jeff Teague who's like, and honestly, I was playing against my brother

and I was going easy. I wanted him to be good. And you're like, wait, isn't this supposed to be the sport at the highest level? He's so real. It's just so funny. It's like a cliff of him pushing LeBron out of bounds.

And he was like, why did you do that? He was like, man, he was kicking our ass and I got mad. You know, it's like, can we unmute? You guys have chail sonnen uh yeah the fighter yeah he also tweets like any gay people out there i'll punch him he yeah chail is like he's a the the american gangster was like his tag yeah he kind of has that frustrating trump thing where he is just like very charismatic and like uh well well spoken maybe isn't the word

more just he's incredible off the dome. He's a good freestyler. And he was a very good fighter, aged out, a couple very specific L's. But I have gained some respect for him because he has freed himself of any of the don't admit you were on steroids propaganda. There's a quote he said on like multiple shows clearly pre-planned of, I was on more juice

than Tropicana. Like, everyone in the UFC is doing it. I got more juice than other one. Yeah. The cranberry one.

Ocean spray. Ocean spray. That's so funny. Like you, like what was your issue when you pushed LeBron, bro? Why you do that?

Oh, wow. What kind of, why you gotta bring up shit like that? I'm just saying, we're talking about names doing that, bro. Why you do that? Why? I don't kind of... Why you got to bring up shit like that? I'm just saying. We're talking about names going on, bro. Go James.

It's fine. No, it's respect. Go James. Nigga, we was losing. Shit, I was so losing, my fucking name. I ain't win a playoff game against that nigga ever.

I was sick of this shit. My fucking fans in Atlanta cheering for him. He running down the court saying, you know what, bitch? I got something for you I don't think I ever need an explanation from any athlete about why they

check someone, show them whatever because they don't like losing the sport it's always the same story I was mad it's funny that we picked exactly the clip that I mentioned can we go to maybe a second clip he he has a very funny story about steph curry too but it's funny seeing them curated because to me i i don't watch shorts on anything but like the

platforms they are on looks like tiktok and instagram and i don't search them i don't follow anyone i just let the algorithm take me yeah and so seeing them curated and like with each other this actually makes it less appealing to me. Yeah, okay It's like he's a whimsical fairy to me like my life and they play the fort cuz they're not all the clips that go viral Aren't even necessarily like they started going viral and people just clipping them his podcast themselves Yeah, like we need to capitalize on this. Yeah, can you click the fourth one? I'm so the ones I go stay but I was on the pace of the world you're I was on there He gave us 60 points.

On 11 dribbles? That nigga did dribble the bomb 11 times. Ay, it was so bad. He didn't play them niggas on that team. Yeah, I was on there getting cooked. I didn't guard him. That wasn't me this time. Nope, y'all can look it up.

Wasn't me. You weren't switching on the screen? Nope, I wasn't doing none of that. I was guarding Steph. He a piece of shit, T-Mate. It was my take and PG. Yup, calling them niggas out. It was them two.

It wasn't me. It wasn't me at all. He was doing it so bad. I remember PG, PG didn niggas out. It was them two. It wasn't me. It wasn't me at all. He was doing it so bad. I remember PG. PG done started on him. I give him that. PG was like, I fucking got him, dude. 25 this quarter.

I was like. That third quarter was so good. What? I'm like, man, this nigga here is crazy. What's so funny? We was only down like 15 or something, like at half. And he was like, we right there. Aaron Brooks was like, look at Klay Thompson. On the stat we right there. Aaron Brooks was like, look at Klay Thompson.

On the stat sheet, he whispered to me like, look at Klay Thompson. I was like, deal. That nigga went missing. I was like, deal, he got 30. Man, Klay was something else back then. Yeah. Do you think I could start a podcast

and claim that I was a like national football star in the UK. Like I watched soccer football. Oh, absolutely. And I was like, you know, I was like drafted on the, you know, I was drafted on the Rovers. I was never playing for Liverpool or something like that. It's not crazy. But yeah, I got benched from Man U at one point,

never managed to get into a game. You know what I mean? It was straight out of college. And then I moved to the US and didn't follow up on it of course i talk just offhandedly about little parts of my career yeah and the show is called like foot kick the kick zone and i never ever ever talk about football yeah it's just you as a human being i talk about that my time in seal team uh karate background david goggins type yeah i kind of taught john wick everything he knows not keanu Reeves.

You know, pre-internet, like, not only could you do that, but like most presidential candidates did. Yeah. They would just go to different states and tell different stories and like tell them different things because there was no follow-up. That's why Joe Biden is confused. Yeah, he's like, back in my day, I was allowed to say anything. I could say a word and then-

You ain't black, Jack. Whoa. Joe, dude. Come on, man on you're the best i didn't like it till right now that was good wait wait wait i have to oh i'm in san ben disco san fran golden bridge only bridge in the world made that gold folks last time i was here it was 1849 gold rush we came here here horse-drawn carriage. It was five weeks. Parents died of syphilis on the way.

My Native American family gave me soup, folks. I came here with a shovel on my back and a dream. I was 12 years old. Just became senator of the United States of America. Folks, had one penny to my name. Bought a ranch and a cow. Folks, I'm in San Bendisco. The wind helped. The wind is a a cow. Folks, I'm in San Bendisco. The wind helped.

The wind is a perfect part of it. I love the San Bendisco. I think the long vowels is what I'm missing. That is a part of the good Biden. 1849, Gold Rush. My favorite Bidenism is the whisper. Grows the economy. I remember grows the economy.

Good for everyone. He thinks a mic just levels it out. Yeah. Like compresses it. Do you ever at all, like, like just i was just reminded because of the jake paul stuff as well do you you mentioned your audience is a little older yeah for sure do you ever or have you ever had to kind of dissuade some manosphere offhand comments yeah that's just such a common stream viewer thing yeah it's funny i think most of my community self-regulates but it'll like someone will come in first time chatter pops up and it's like women

right and it's just like i don't do anything they either get sniped by a mod or they just don't come back because it's like no one responds to it you know what i mean a lot of people will hit him with like uh twitch emotes if you're not familiar you type a word something will show up but like uhm um is like pepe the frog but like looking sus at you so there'll be a bunch of arms and the person will feel uncomfortable and then they'll never come back i think that is the uh something you're not equipped for after school where you either get no reaction it's because people are scared or you get too big a reaction and you get satisfied or whatever you still don't have friends either way but what you're not ready for in the real world just people like sorry yeah what was that yeah excuse me okay can you explain because

otherwise you're fucking weird speak on that yeah the what's the soy milk um let's talk about this new york dublin portal thing. Jacob, what happened to this slide? This is... The formatting is so... It looks like a word cloud. It looks like a serial killer's manifesto. It's on the Twitter account. You're the closest to it.

It was like, and this note was found at the killer's home. It was just a few words. Founder, flashing, 9-11. Dude, put normal and normal two is what's normal too there's a bunch of uh strings between there's a really detailed drawing of like jesus on the cross but his eyes are scratched out they did it just in case uh anyone hasn't heard of what this is right this is this is what it is it's this uh art installation in in new york and dublin that is basically a 24

hour face time between like two cities and so why it's a it's an art installation it's an art installation and um the uh this is part of the caption wait go back to that what was the caption our reality is becoming a black mirror episode i know i'm a little bit because of skype uh had the other thing that they said before that though is had fun playing rock paper scissors with strangers across this is the most wholesome person which you've been able to do anything with people across the globe for 25 years. This person's never been on Chatroulette, Omegle. Saying this is like a Black Mirror episode is so, every single time I see it, it's very close to running away from the train coming towards the screen in the first cinema.

You're like, what is this? Technology? Black Mirror? My phone's seen my face. Oh, the unveiling. And I don't want to wait. It's too late. Okay, okay. okay i mean that's a really good i worked at apple for uh one month and one week which is the length of the training plus one week of them telling me to

sell old people apple care before i quit and every morning they would play a song that sounded exactly like this uh and it was like all right you know tech support let's and we're all in like a group call and it actually is distant It's like a black mirror I was kind of lost before you It was just bad, but this song brought back traumatic memories. Oh, what's it go penis music? Stadium arena penis music Welcome to Dublin hello from New york i carry that around oh now

we're talking sorry this is absurd yeah it is neat it's very like disney world yeah i was like these people are all hired to do yeah i was gonna say society is not like this yeah is this it's like you guys saw the hitchhiking robot that like made it three quarters the way across canada and made it like one mile in new york before people just stabbed it or its limbs were pulled off yeah exactly that yeah so this is not what would happen in that's so but what happened is what happens immediately immediately after as soon as they're like all right great launch everybody someone immediately goes up and flashes it yeah if it was in dublin uh and not, someone would try and go through it. Is that?

Where is that? We're in Cork. Immediately people started getting creative with it. It's kind of like... R.P. Pop spoke. So fucked up. Aw, dude. It was, I mean, a matter of time. Surprising it took that took that long i was like i can't believe it's night time before that happened yeah what if that was in that montage at the beginning somebody doing river dance and then somebody holding up the towers yeah remember this and of course i mean i

don't think we can necessarily yeah we can't watch the flashing but But there was someone that mooned the camp. Gotcha. Yeah, people just having all kinds of... Can they hear you? No, I don't think there's audio. I love this city. Yeah, but one of the funny parts is, you know, of course... Oh, sorry, that's someone on the lash. That's someone out on the town. Lads on tour, this move, two fingers in the air, bumping uncoordinated. That's a on the way on the town. Lads on tour, this, this move, two fingers in the air,

bumping uncoordinated, that's a on the way to the club, can't get in because I'm wearing sneakers. Yeah, so because of these things and you know, the famous one on Twitter was the woman flashing, flashing the camera. For so long. The thing about that clip is crazy. It's like, yeah, four minutes long.

Yeah. Everyone's, and just every, gyrating in every direction you can think of. I do wonder about the latency because in that video, no one reacts for so long.

No one reacts. They're literally all just like, and then at one point someone just pulls out their phone, which is my favorite. Yeah. Because no one else would record it.

So then they shut it down because of that? like today or yesterday right? it was yeah at some point yesterday they shut it down for technical difficulties

yeah humanity well it's the technology doesn't it's brand new technology they've created for this and it hasn't existed for two decades

yeah shutting things down very like a black mirror gets shut down in the last episode the final episode of Black Mirror where they shut the mirror down yeah you know the TV Yeah. Shutting things down. Very, like a black mirror gets shut down. Oh. In the last episode? The final episode of Black Mirror

where they shut the mirror down? Yeah. You know, the TV or the phone. What is the black mirror? The phone? Actually, I don't even know the word. No, it's a mirror. Ah, yeah.

Oh my God. Look into this black mirror. He's so handsome. That's scary. Whoa. Yeah, one thing about technology taking over our lives is I turn my phone off

and I look at it. Really smart name. Yeah, I put my phone off. And I look at it. Really smart name. Yeah, I put my phone to sleep and I get spooked. I shouldn't be in dog mode. But then they did get it back up. It's back up now. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

So I don't know. Maybe it was actually technical difficulties. Do they have like any plan? Are they just cool with like the people trolling it? Because I mean like that is reality, you know? I think it is the most boring bland thing in the world. In my mind,

it is actually a portal and no one's touched it. And they're just like, how come technical difficulties? No one's using our portal man. Yeah. Dr. Strange is there. Oh yeah.

It's like so boring. Why do we even have this? Someone steps through it. It doesn't seem like, I mean, it's probably, well, it's not installation funded by the city.

Dude, this is America. We don't fund artists. Yeah, I was going to say. It's funded by a rich person. By this guy. The fucking Dubois family.

By Charlie Brooker. Whoa. Bendictus Gilles. Is that Greek? He's Lithuanian. Fuck. Yeah. But he does like,'s Lithuanian. Oh. Yeah. But he does like,

him and Andrew Schultz, they had a stand-up session where they talked about An active angel investor with a chat face. This bio is so funny to me. Dedicated builder of portals. Birthplace,

earth, race, human, politics, freedom. Get this guy to Aperture Science. What if his race section said normal?

Like that subway poster? Yeah. This is like the world's oldest meme. But it was like, everyone deserves love, whether you're black, yellow, or normal. And it's like there's a white kid in there. You need black kids are just as smart as normal kids. There's a couple insane ones.

That guy just standing in front of it. There's no one else there. That's like the anime movie adaption. There probably was. Where he becomes star-crossed lovers with some woman in Dublin on the other side.

Oh, they swap. There probably is some confusion. Every time they touch it, they swap places. Where did you say he was from? He's from Lithuania. Because I think there probably is some confusion

as to like, like the, I don't know if Lithuaniaians in Europe, but that's Europe. It's Europe flavor. Some confusion as to like, oh, I've been to Sweden. I've done this installation. I went to Norway for the installation. Why is everyone being so rude in New York?

This is about one person stands in front of it and you say hello in your native language and then they say hello. And then everyone goes to bed at 830. This is only their second. Well, I guess like third and fourth if you count each individual one. But their first one was between Lithuania and Poland. And then they just decided to jump to the United States and Ireland. Hard mode. Two of the most, you know, normal, level-headed. Yeah.

Oh yeah, dude. Look at the shift in the number of people. It's all of a sudden people interested. Calling it a portal network is also insane because like this is it makes sense to me a little bit as art, but like it feels like he's trying to start a business. Right. Well, just the way it's written about it. Wait, scroll up. It is

achievable with two laptops. Yeah. I mean it is the same. It's achievable with two pieces of any technology made in the last 15 years. Yeah. No matter what that technology is. Two phones. A black mirror. You can get an iPod Touch doing this. An iPod Touch.

White mirror, that red mirror that Bono did charity with or whatever. Yes. I guess they can just, any of them could talk to anyone. Sure. Are they up permanently? The article I saw said it was, they're planning on keeping it there until at least November. Okay. Yeah, like a Skype call.

Leave it up in case you want to come back and be like, I forgot to say. Do you guys have any, I mean, I don't know if it's because we're getting a little older or whatever, but I do every now and then. This is fine. This is whatever. I sometimes will bridge into Philistine territory a little bit.

Like, you know, every now and then a new platform launches or a new trend starts or some AI discourse starts and I'm just like, these kids. Oh, constantly. What are they doing these days? I was like that at 11. Digimon, we already have Pokemon. Relax.

Those are digital enough for me, they go on the PC. What, Pokemon aren't digital, I guess? You're just getting your ass kicked. My video game. I'm not getting owned. Wearing the mask. I am obsessed with this,

kind of like angel investor speak that is always present on things like this, where someone has a lot of money through probably luck. And then they go, well, now my mission is to save humanity. It's like the Elon Musk like thing where he's like. Do you know, huh? Yeah. First off, where, okay, history, Meeting humanity as it is for the first time. Already you've lost me. You've already lost me.

Portals were born from a feeling that we humans have more to share than what separates us. And from a sense that we are all interconnected on this planet of ours. The roots of this project go back to 2016 and mark the beginning of a global movement in the both the physical and virtual world what happened to 2016. it's just none of this means anything it's not it doesn't it's 26 one is not true and for two even if it was these portals are not wait there was the there was a timeline on that one uh in the last the last page 2016 was the idea 2021 until he put it into practice i can do that same day. He had to figure out the technology. Oh, what should it be? A circle? He was like, while on a FaceTime call with my mom

on vacation. The bevel on it is actually so funny. It's like an old TV where like the outside of it is four feet wide and the screen is tiny. Yeah, there's actually no latency for melee on that. Yeah, it's a cathode ray. Yeah. Conceived in 2016 after a mystical experience, today they have already reached more than 1 billion people. Why does he keep avoiding the explanation? What was the mystical experience? That's what I'm saying. This is when I had an idea and I met God.

Anyway, the first installation was in 2021. Five years after he did his ayahuasca vision quest. And that always happens, too. Every rich tech founder, like has some sort of spiritual awakening where they like do ayahuasca and then they become Jack Dorsey. Like Jack Dorsey, you like grow a big beard

and you start to stop making any sense at all. I think the problem with that is most of the time, I think it's still fake. They're just like LARPing as a Jack Dorsey. I think they're LARPing too. Yeah. it's not like hype uh uh do you remember nootropics when that was kicking off uh they're like they're like little brain it's a mushroom tea or pill oh i still get some of those like a sponsor it's like

you know little things like ginseng oil and like a tiny bit of mushroom yeah it's i did straight up by alpha brain when i was dead broke in college because I'm like, if I start taking AlphaBrain, I'll be effective enough. Joe says, I'll be effective enough to start making money. Right. I'm like, there's a town of three. I mean, I want it to be true. Shit. That'd be great.

Yeah. Remove fatigue completely with a special little pill given to me by a racist. I would love that. There is like any time somebody says something profound that is, sounds like a template. Like anytime I think I have some kind of profound experience, you get out the other end. And if you have a modicum of self-awareness, you can kind of chuckle about it. Right. It's like, oh, look how malleable the human brain is. So it's very fun as a, it's like an ego death because you realize

you can think the weirdest silliest thing yeah the blockers are gone it's not a real meeting the thing I thought wasn't valuable and that's like getting

it's the same as getting really drunk and right before you pass out and piss yourself you're like what is this have you noticed

like a camera can see us but we can't see inside it I do like the idea that you like have a mystical experience and what comes out of that is a big laptop what if a car was so fast yeah it was like okay so like that laptop's small but what if big what is so big uh it can be furnished it could be it could

disrupt it can be city furniture yeah what if you couldn't use it for anything else that's i mean is it the Facebook portal? Is it the Amazon portal? That other one? Yeah, Meta portal at one point. Oh, the product? Yeah. Like their smart home device? Yeah, it's like a little square that did the same thing.

Yeah, it's basically just a Skype device. It's a grandma device. Oh, you can like only call people on your phone. Yeah, yeah. But you can only call their portal, so they have to own one. I know. I bought one because it was like, you know, operating phones, technology stuff was getting trickier for my mom. So I just bought her one.

Maybe the Facebook one, maybe the Amazon one. Installed it in the house. Way harder to use. So much more confusing. Like 10x more because it's also got that Kindle thing where anytime you tap the screen, there's a 15-minute delay. That sucks, yeah. Oh, this is just the most, I a 15 minute delay that sucks oh this is just the i don't know again but this is the most european team i've ever seen these are all esports

players look at the do you think he's fake muscles in that shirt in the top left yeah he looks like batman when they make the pads that is crazy because his neck does not fit in with those like traps and shoulders. I know, dude. Oh, wait. I was going to say it's probably just a very unfortunate

folding of his shirt, but then I saw this photo right here. It's a great outfit in real life, yeah. Let's get him. Yeah, because that suit doesn't seem right.

Oh, get the menswear guy on his ass, bro. Oh, no. Wait a second. Sorry. His Instagram bio? Sharing ideas and love for the new earth wow new earth oh no those forearms do do do you say jacked he's kind of doing the push your muscle out there

yeah oh but he looks pretty buff actually yeah he's buff okay i mean fair enough you get away this time you gotta be buff if you're changing the world. That's true. For the new world? Oh, wow. Oh, shirtless. Okay. Yeah, he's great. It's like Paolo Costa. This guy's, yeah, right.

Oh, he's got the Instagram. He stylized. He stylized it. This is old, though. These are old videos. Yeah, you give up on that quick. It was a different time. It's really because you're in the mood to post one thing.

Your theme. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Respect to... Hey, respect. My man. Hey, respect. It's really because you're in the mood to post one thing. Your theme. Yeah. Fuck. Respect to... Hey, respect. My man. Hey, respect. It's easier to shit on something than to build.

That's what I always say. So true. Yeah. I mean, where are you going to get the idea to have a video call? A different country? The artwork has been approved. What artwork, man? By the king.

It's just a circle. This is the circle. Yeah. It's just a circle. This is the circle. Yeah. It's also the same thing. There is something to that where I'm like, wow, really impressive. What's next? I want to put it somewhere else. You could scare the shit out of a grandma with like a War of the Worlds style.

These are people in Dublin. New kids. Holy shit. You literally just played a movie War of the Worlds on the screen. No one's gonna know. Oh, it's King Ghidorah. Is that Dakota Fanning? What's she doing in Dublin? Why is she young? Oh, it's a time warp.

That's the father scares the grandma. That's the other Fanning. I just watched The Neon Demon. She's older than Tat. Like that one clip of someone was playing GTA and they told their grandma it was the news. Oh, yeah. All those ones.

Oh, my God. Those ones were like, it's like a Midwest mom. And she just starts crying because her daughter's saying like, Mom, Jesus is back. Show me tweet, Rachel. Show me the tweets at Facebook. Show me, Rachel. Oh, please, please show me the tweet. Which to be fair, Jesus is back.

If you were sat there on your phone and you found out that Jesus Christ had come back to life, or Jacob, you found it, but the monitor was off. I do think we would all get a push notification. Like an emergency. It would for sure be on the Citizen app. It's like another Amber alert. It's like after something else.

And it's like car backfire that sounded like gun in locals of urban area. Also, the citizen app is so funny. Cause it'll be like, there's a shooting happening at your house right now. Point two miles away. Someone said they heard about a shooting in San Diego.

I know Anastasia. I think she talked about this on the podcast once where it was like, she got one that like a hospital was being like a, one of the nearby hospitals was being evacuated And she called her friend who worked there and they were like what yeah It is crazy. I do worry that it does more harm than good the citizen app I don't know though the best part about citizen app or any of those apps like I have ring that tells me stuff I've been Over here hood is when there's like a power outage or internet. Yeah

Because that's the quickest way versus like knocking on their door Hey, he's yours out to them afraid to get on next door because i don't want to learn that my neighbors are annoying oh you know what i mean because it'll be like i saw you know a hooded figure like loitering around the neighborhood and it'll be me and i was like i'm cold sorry yeah i've just i was putting the trash bins in i saw an urban style kind of Kendrick-esque guy. Yeah, Kendrick-esque. You know the guy. I think I texted the group chat.

I don't think I told you, but the last time we recorded on the way over here, and the guy was listening to a radio show that kept referring to Drake as a muggle. Oh, wait. Sorry, whiplash. I have no idea. No, because he's like faking because he's like not he's not real i'm like is that what a mug is joanne what are you talking about i think you just started saying the word yeah you caught yourself yeah this guy's a real knuckle kaisen

that's gonna say muggle next week and we're all gonna be saying we're all gonna say it we're gonna reclaim it yeah you have a harry potter face oh yeah oh yeah uh i was i was a big midnight release harry potter guy yeah you know read it in like the next day or two yeah enjoy it i have to address i have the harry potter books back here oh they're on they're in frame well yeah they might be holy shit i know that's a statement brother i know because if you had them in that corner i get these are all these are all the ones that I had from childhood. You can even see that was the Deathly Hallows pre-release. Like the one that's in the thing.

That was before. That was in the before times. With the Punisher logo with the blue lives. What? No, that's... Shut up. Sorry, that's to support the police. No, I need to... I'm like considering moving them or something.

Not because they're in frame here, but like I remember at my last place I had a party and people were coming over. And then I looked at the Harry Potter books and I was like, I don't want to have a conversation about this. And then I like moved them downstairs. I mean we're not a Joanne advocate. No. I don't think. There is – learning that media you enjoyed when you were younger is just like it doesn't have to be like problematic which is bad yeah like i watched the movie saving

silverman with rochelle the other day i don't know if anyone's seen it i don't remember don't actually don't but i remember thinking it's got like steve zahn if this is the funniest fucking movie just these three bros and holy shit and we watch it it's the worst movie ever made you know night late 90s early 2000 i remember getting really into ender's game and reading like a number of the no oh reading a number of the sequels and uh in the audiobook there was like a interview or something with the author orson scott card and god i know and i like – He's a – And then I kind of found out that he was a – but that was my first one. Like I was still young when I found out he was a horrible person because I think it was like either obvious or like it was like –

you know, it was pre-cancel culture, but I just remember seeing his comments about women. And I was like, I don't know. Can he say that? It's one of those things where i'm like you you have imagined so much like you can imagine a fan a fantasy world with magic and wizards and whatever but you can't you can't conceive of like someone uh having like like finding their identity you know or even having a job orson scott card is like yeah the woman should be at home and

yeah he was the original don't be weekend you know what i think i don't know what it was but i was listening to his voice and i think he was saying some of these things like and so i was hearing it from like the horse's mouth and i was like i don't think i can read these anymore which is really weird because i think speaker for the dead which is like the second ender book it's one of my favorite books of all time i love it it's a beautiful novel the the ideas in it are interesting and not at all problematic no and then you hear him you're like how did he do that it doesn't make sense books and books and manga and comics and stuff i do think present this like dilemma where if i watch a tv show or a movie that like is a, it's not an adaptation,

it's just an original work with one writer, one director, multiple writers for multiple episodes. And then I find out maybe the director has a particular ideology or like, like Brad Bird is kind of a eugenicist. It's like, he's like a, or at least was a kind of an Ayn Rand guy.

And you can see some, some pieces of that in the Incredibles it's kind of there but at the same time I enjoy the work to the degree where I can denounce that part and appreciate a huge team of people that worked on this and made it great rather than not animate the movie right yeah but that's what makes it hard with writers right because it's like oh they did actually everything but I was really into Gantz at one point the the manga when i was in an edgy teen era yeah and i tried rereading it a couple of years ago it is appallingly bad that's what i'm saying but you don't know it's bad in that way but it's also poorly constructed but it's also like you think there's a bunch of kind of incel

behavior that the in when i was thinking in retrospect, I was always like, yeah, it's crazy that they were willing to present that character so shitty in order for him to grow. And then I read past what I ever reached in the day. He doesn't grow at all. He's just right in the position of the story. And yeah, when it's 100% or even like Alan Moore writes something and someone else illustrates and

colors it well then like you know i don't disagree with alan moore's ideology so i guess it's different but that's alan moore that like what you're reading is alan moore's position on things even if an editor or another collaborator jumped in the harry potter movies i was never that into past like maybe the second one but and so i haven't re-watched but i can see somebody having an easier job re-watching them with kind of the author distance yeah also a lot of the more sinister mean stuff like mean spirited stuff it is a little bit easier to like watch those movies knowing that like all of the actors banded together against the author too. But I still haven't. I still haven't since the incident. Did you play Hogwarts game?

No. I just didn't want to play it. It was boring. I don't know. I think I'd like it. You think you would like it? If you're a lore guy. I think I'd like it.

Yeah, it's like, oh, fuck, it's Hogwarts. No, I mean, yeah. It's like a world. It's like kind of how much do i need this yeah oh i don't need it at all which is why i haven't played it exactly exactly that might be interesting but i won't do it i've never read ender's game but i i also just am not particularly compelled i'm not like a sci-fi reader it's funny because the they go off the rails the first one is like and what if you're a super smart boy and you go to school and everyone says you're the smartest

and you command the military right and then the next one gets a they get a little more philosophical it gets really philosophical but but i mean i there's a big spoiler for the first one sure you don't mean i don't need to go but there is more there's more of a dimension yeah but i think a lot of the first time readers don't actually even reach that uh the dimension sure uh yeah and well then and then there's also the... Or care. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, and there's also the like... But each one, right? There's also the like semi-sci-fi dystopia of like Earth has been attacked by Earth. Does it take place on Earth?

Energy game? Yeah. Yeah, it does, right? Because it's like we've been attacked by these, you know, these buggers or whatever and we've got to defend ourselves. And so then they're trying to like uh uh eugenics a uh uh a savior basically the best boy um yeah eugenics the best boy the criticism of dune like as in that's by design criticizing that yeah right you guys ever watched

the james mcavoy tv adaptation of children of dune? I have not, no. Genuinely very good, in my opinion. I think, I don't even hate the David Lynch movie. That was my first experience with Dune mythos-wise. I like Dune a lot. But I still haven't seen part two. I just like the... I heard part two's really good. I still haven't seen the first one.

It's great. I watched the original Dune very late. I like Denis, last name. I like his work. Villain Lady. Villain Lady. Villain Lady. I like his work. It's all of Villain Ova. Villain Ova. I like his work.

It's all of that. It's just going to the movies is always hard to get my head around. Oh, yeah. It's even for like big tent poles. I haven't seen Challengers. I've been trying to do it more, though. I went to see Challengers alone because I was like, I... You got put on a list.

Yeah. I was like, black light over that seat. It was because like the night before uh we were out for drinks with friends like two separate groups of friends had come back from seeing it and then i was like well i want to go see it before i want to talk about this yeah i want to talk about with my friends and i only had time in the morning dude 10 a.m showing i did i saw it i saw it at 10 a.m to To the point where there wasn't even somebody working the ticket counter. They just let you in, yeah.

Like, it wasn't even let me in. There was just nothing. I just walked in. Yeah. I walked in and out of the goodness of my heart paid for a ticket. Ticket was for the wrong time. I said, fuck it. I'm walking in.

The theater's empty. Who cares? The projectionist is playing Wordle. Oh, shit. Someone called. The guy, the concessions guy like waved at me as if we were friends he was like hey 10 a.m challengers i had no idea what i was in for wasn't expecting like uh the soundtrack

i should go see it's like so great that i should get out of the house go see it i mean i it's fun it's it's it is yeah it's fun it's fine i like it i don't think it's going to change your notions of anything there's some really cool shots in it like that are some shots that i hate that i still think are really cool it's like oh wow how interesting even though i wish it wasn't in the movie it's cool that they did it right i'm like it's like oh you're trying stuff and then also like the movie, it's cool that they did it. Right. I'm like, it's like, Oh, you're trying stuff. And then also like the, the dynamics of the story are interesting. And it is one of those things where it's like become such a pop culture

moment that, you know, I, if I put something about challengers on my dating app, people are asking like questions of what did you, how did you interpret the ending or how did the blah, blah, blah.

Cause you can have those discussions. Um, I've been trying to watch more movies because i'm so uncultured i feel like i haven't seen very many really very many movies i saw madame webb a second time last night and i think that's my problem is that instead of watching a million guesses as to what movie it's like citizen kane or something. Yeah. I was so busy watching Madame Web a second time. Doctor Strange was on my laptop. Madame Web on my TV.

See what lines up. Yeah, listening to a podcast on mute. Sorry, why did you watch Madame Web a second time? Because it's the best movie ever, man. Because, well, the wholesome answer is I'm trying to, we're in the friends meta where uh, where we're trying to like hang out with friends more and for mental health reasons for me specifically. And a friend invited me over to watch it cause it just came to streaming. And I was like, Oh, I've seen it in theaters and none of these people have seen it with me. So it'll be fun to like watch them

experience it. And specifically I was like, even if the movie is boring, at least I get to do a social experiment, like shouted a movie with friends, at least I get to do a social experiment, like shout at a movie with friends on a couch. I think you generally, if I remember correctly, you're not really a bad movie enjoyer. I'm not a bad movie enjoyer at all. You are very easily annoyed by me. I do get annoyed because I'm like,

why do we make this thing? You know what I mean? Which is unfair to the artist. I've made bad things in my life. It is fascinating. Like I want to know, for example, for Madame Webb, why are all of Ezekiel Sim's lines ADR? Yeah.

And a ton of all like all the story structure ones. Like clearly she didn't go to the Amazon at one point. That is added way later. And that's why she appears to drive there. It literally is like She takes a single engine plane to the Amazon

from New York which is like you can't do that. Same day and then comes back and then she abandons It's like an episode

of DuckTales. She steals that taxi and if you steal a taxi in New York you get to keep it. Because she leaves it parked at the airport house. She grand theft autos the taxi, then leaves it at the airport for a week. I know what you're thinking.

It's still there. Does she have a car? Yeah, maybe. It never really comes up. She's an ambulance driver, but why would you want a car? Oh, my God. But I did recently, and I think we'll talk about it next week. I recently watched a bad movie with Jacob and Jacob's roommates.

It wasn't we were intending to see a bad movie. You were hoping it was a good movie. We were like, oh, it'll be a popcorn, you know, like just chill and watch an action movie, right? It was The Beekeeper, Jason Statham's new movie. Buzz buzz. No, but here's the thing. Movie has 70% on Rotten Tomatoes.

That is unfathomable. Did you watch the trailer first or no? Jacob can attest. I think we did watch the trailer, but it was like we watched the trailer and then just like went into it. Yeah, immediately put the movie in. But it is actually maybe one of the worst movies

I've seen in recent memory. And I can't believe it's as bad as it is to the point where we were like looking up the people who made the movie beforehand to egg their house like yeah so that we could protest outside of there and and then it was like oh it was like this was the writer of equilibrium and like all these other action movies that like have it's like david and david ayers had like a bad bad streak a bad streak recently. End of watch, training day, good movies? No, no, but that's the thing.

It's like fascinating. Have you seen The Beekeeper? You and Katie should watch it. This is Jarvis on Monday. It's so fucking bad. At least you didn't lie. I want you to watch it because there are things poster's kind of sick. There are things- Yeah, the poster is actually super sick.

There are things about that movie that I want to talk about, but I want to talk about it with like, I want Anastasia to be here because she's seen it. Jacob witnessed it with me. I'll watch it. You watch it, then we can talk about it. Because I also want to print out the script and like read some of the scenes.

Some of the lines, yeah. Because- I've got something for you to keep. They make some choices that i think are unforgivable i think the movie would be better if he wasn't like an fbi operative i haven't seen it but like i understand because i first i thought like john wick he's a beekeeper who's been pushed too far you know what i mean he's shooting bees out of guns that's not it he is like an fbi guy there is secret motivation The entire conceit of the movie doesn't make sense.

Like, like almost everything that happens in the movie is a plot hole. Like, or like a motivation that doesn't make any sense. I listened to a chap episode talking about it like three months ago or something. And I, when you mentioned it,

I thought to myself, like, is that the one where this and that maybe I'm already spoiled. And I'm not because I think I'm, it i thought to myself like is that the one where this and that maybe i'm already spoiled and i'm not because i think i'm i must be misremembering half the things i heard because they don't talk about the whole i will just say that the beginning of the movie is jason statham is a beekeeper and is the only time you see him as a beekeeper in the entire movie and because he's uh that's his cover yes uh for being he's not an f operative. He's something stupider.

But it's like deeper, right? It's something so stupid. Okay. And I don't even, you know, but then like he's like doesn't have anyone. He doesn't have friends or like anyone he cares about except for his neighbor. Who's this old lady. It's the whole hive. What are you talking about?

And then the bank's going to take her house or something. The old lady gets scammed on the phone. That's what it is. For all of her money. Yeah. And even that makes me mad. And then the fact that that happens and they choose to show her getting push notifications from her bank that fraud has been detected, which is at the point, call the bank.

Call the bank. Get this sorted out. She. Oh, no. That's terrible. With a big B. There are so many things I want to complain even more than the surface level

about what I just described, but I can't do it without doing the entire podcast episode I want to do about it. But anyway, look out for that next week. Oh, I'm sold. We are wrapping this episode of sad boys but we are going to continue the fun over on patreon.com sad boys uh with our patreon exclusive episode of sad boys nights uh for as low as five dollars a month you can subscribe and get

60 plus hours of content over there along them lines yeah too much listen to it on 0.5 speed that's 120 hours of content. Whoa, slow it down. It'll last you the rest of your life. Double and it's less probably. Speed it up and you can cancel your subscription faster. Jack Conti's crying. No, don't tell him to do that.

You want to plug your bullshit? Plug my bullshit? I am Stans, S-T-A-N-Z, on almost everything. YouTube videos, mostly drama, drama twitch what didn't you get stands on uh what didn't i get stands on uh twitter x x.com elon's do you know who has zuckerberg's fucking you um who has it yeah it's a well this is embarrassing it's a grocery store it's a grocery store in south bend indiana and i messaged them like i would like to buy this from you sir and they were like we have two billboards so it's gonna be very expensive to like permanent billboards I don't know I assumed

it was just a thing and so they're like we're talking mid five figures dude what are you talking about okay come on that's a lot for you you're broke uh yeah that's a lot let's do mid five figures for me it's nothing for me uh so I've had this idea of doing a YouTube video where I go to the stands grocery store in South Bend, Indiana and make Monopoly camera videos. Yeah, that's kind of great.

You paint over their ad on the billboard. Yeah, exactly. Or you come out on grocery store and collaborate with them. Like maybe you guys merge.

Dude, I would give them an ad on every video for the rest of my life. I'm a fan. That would actually be kind of cool because it's not like a huge corporation. It's like a single.

Yeah. I think they have two locations. Two locations. Yeah. Billport one, Billport four locations. It's funny because I think I was talking to like Mr. Stans because he was like, I don't know. Let me check my books.

I don't know what we can do here. Let me check my book and you'll see if I can rook. Dad? Yeah, hold on. see if I can rook. Dad? Hold on. What if I can? So, yeah, we're going to keep the good times rolling over there. You can look out for us watching the Google I.O. AI cringe that just happened. In Espanol.

We do live in Black Mirror. It's kind of a Black Mirror episode. Yeah, did you guys hear about this? Anti-social media. Yeah. And also, I don't fucking know, man. We have some fun. We hang out. That's so true.

Yeah. But we end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. Boom. Is this Mark? This is Mark Reveille. He's the loot daddy.

He's like a big, like, you know performer musician improviser. Okay But he performed at Gouai Ho It looks like Anthony Fantano with a wig It does Google. Hey, we're like a tech company, but we don't want to seem sinister. Can you just do a nice set? You have such an expressive face. Yeah.

The computers are twisting my nipples. Gucci girl. Gucci girl. How you doing? How you moving up? Moving up. How you delicate? That future girl. Future girl. out.