Sad Boyz - The Rise Of The Almond Husband

Episode Date: May 2, 2026

Exclusive $25-off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SADBOYZ. Promo Code SADBOYZ New customers get 40% Off with code SADBOYZ at GLD.com Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/SADBOYZ to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. #sponsored Check out 150+ bonus episodes at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://patreon.com/sadboyz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ✨find us everywhere✨ https://linktr.ee/sadboyzpod 🎬 CREW 🎬 Hosted by Jarvis Johnson and Jordan Adika Produced & Edited by Jacob Skoda Produced by Anastasia Vigo Thumbnail design by @yungmcskrt Outro music by @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank 00:00:00 Nostalgic Toys 00:04:42 Sponsored By: Aura Frames 00:06:27 Vintage Games 00:09:32 San Antonio Spurs 00:14:15 YouTube Summit w/ Oprah 00:19:10 Sponsored By: GLD 00:21:06 YouTube's Response to AI 00:28:09 Lefty Problems 00:34:35 Sponsored By: ZocDoc 00:36:11 Almond Husbands 01:21:44 Sad Boyz Nightz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Sabboys, podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo. That's me when I am counting yo-yoos. How often does that come up? More often than you'd think.

Were you ever a yo-kid? I was. I was a yo-yo kid because I come from a time when they would air yo-yo competitions on television. And you see them and you go, that's cool. That guy is cool and always will be. Did you ever learn any yo-yo tricks? I was a bit of a yo-yo-andy.

I was weirdly into like, I always feel offended when people assume I was like a theater theater kid. Because I was always intimidated by that. It was like it was overwhelming and a bit. I didn't want to perform. I wanted like a skill. And so I was really into devil sticks. I was into poise. Oh, boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was really into, uh, into yoos. But I never got. I had like my, I had like three staple tricks. And but then all of nothing competitive. I would have been laughed out of a competitive scene. Yeah, I was going to say I had, the thing is, I feel like you had to go to a specialty store to get like a real yo-yo. And the yo-yo's that they'd sell at like Walmart didn't like do the job.

Yeah, you needed, uh, it's like when people like bring their own pool cues and like screw them together or a glove before bowling. I remember I learned I learned to walk the dog. I learned to like do the clock thing. Yeah. Kind of feels like learning like 10 chords. And then like to most people you will seem like you know guitar. Yeah. And they're like, I'm sure there's something else I knew how to do at the time, but...

Did you ever do the Diablo? Yes. What's the Diablo? It's the two sticks connected by string and then like an hourglass type shape that you spin on it. That's cool. And you could like throw it up in the air and stuff. Oh, that. I've seen that, but I didn't know what that was called.

This is an appropriately low res image because that is the hero. It is a 240P hobby. Okay, so I feel something that I miss. generationally, and I'm wondering if it hit any of y'all is cup stacking. That was, we did it in school. Yeah, I feel like there was a moment. There was a moment for cup stacking. It was a narrow window.

I think it kind of nicked us. I think we would have. I remember like being like, oh, I would do that if I knew where to get the cups. Well, again, it's a professional grade cups. You can't do that with solo cups. Right. No, no, no. Because they have to have a special, you have to be able to do this.

I know. God, now thinking about it. maybe we should get back into just like toys. I remember when I was a kid thinking, when I'm older and I have money, I'm buying all the toys I want. I'm getting all the Lego. I haven't played with Lego in,

I don't know, 15 years. Lego is just like a whole other thing. Like remember when Stan's got, did that stream where he made the Millennium Falcon? And then it was like on the floor and then you stepped on it. Yeah, I remember some of that story. I don't think that. Thankfully it wasn't being recorded.

So that's, I recent, well, My sister likes to get me Legos for Christmas. Like I would say like the last five years or whatever, but she always gets me those really classy ones that are like a potted planet. The graphic design is like all boutique. Yeah. And I really enjoyed making the last one,

which was like an orchid. I would never own an orchid in real life because, they're impossible to keep alive. So having a Lego one decorating my living room is quite nice. A big toy thing for me was the Power Rangers toys that all fit together because of the Zords. And so I did have those.

But then I feel like... Do you keep them individual or did you put them together and leave them like that? I think I would like take them apart and put it together because I was probably doing in-universe fan fiction type stuff. Yeah, riffing out scenes. Which is not playing with dolls.

It's boys. stuff, it's action figures. I think it's playing with dolls and that's good. No, and painting miniatures is figurotos. A lot of toys I wanted like specific digivises. Like, because Digimon, when it was on the air and popular,

they would sell like almost like they would sell essentially Tomogachis but Digimon style because you'd basically be caring for like a little Oh yeah. That's cool. Yeah, it was pretty it was pretty cool. It hatches out of a digie egg and then you're like

taking care of it and the whole concept it like fit it made perfect sense for like the concept of the show being these like digital monsters that exist in the digital world so um i think i had one but i kind of wanted all of them a lot of maintenance or are we talking fatality if not fair i think so this episode of sat boys is sponsored by aura frames let's be real every family has a story of like the one time things got a little crazy trip the one completely sideways the holidays the that went awry, the everyday moment that spends out of control. We've got those stories and then they become a part of the lore, you know? With today's sponsor, ORAFrames, you now have the perfect way to capture that lore in perpetuity.

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Thanks to Our Friends for launching this episode. Back to the episode. There were also those. dogs, do you remember the dogs that like had light up eyes and they'd like flap their ears? Oh, the little like robot one? They do they're robot dogs. They don't do flips. No.

They like, can I have like a cool visor? Kind of. Yeah. In fact, it became so popular that there was a McDonald's version of it. Yes. This sounds familiar. It's always interesting to me what manages to float the Rubicon. What manages to go across internationally?

Yeah. I'm just like, huh. Did you have something? Because I feel like... But there was not a Lincoln log in sight. Those things I never fucking heard of. Yeah, you guys didn't care for Lincoln much. Oh, yeah, that's true.

It was resentment. Yeah. We'll use regular logs. Wow, he managed... He managed to keep the union together. Fuck. Interesting. Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I say... He doesn't like swears. Yeah, sorry, mate. When I was very little, it was cabbage patch dolls. They were really hard to get. I wanted them so badly. Can we please pull up an image of the... Because I have this cabbage patch...

dolls because I have this problem where garbage pale kids have replaced that in my brain. Well, because they were a parody. They were like making fun at which I also had garbage pale kids cards. Wait, what's that? All the way over on the right there was like a little one of the four seasons baby. Who wants to be a creepy doll? Is that Aaron Paul below that? Oh, hey.

Why? Glammer magazine. wearing is that a is that Aaron Paul? That is Aaron Paul 100%. I was going to say it kind of looks like he's been face fusioned with Robert Pattinson. Yeah, you're out of the dream. Oh, there he is. You never knew that Aaron Paul held two of them while staring soulfully into a camera.

I guess I didn't. Yeah, no, that's true. In 2006. You got me up there. You know what looks so sick. If you look at those photos from like the Nintendo DS launch party in L.A. Oh, my God, yes. Like those things, like, wow, it feels.

feels like a vibe. It's like I saw it was like Zach and Cody. It's like Cole and Dylan's brows. It looks like Donald Faison was there. That makes sense. Very Scrubs era. Every single girl I knew in this era was like, you should dress like that.

Fedora, which makes no sense. I thought the fedora was supposed to be a thing we made fun of. I guess we got to that later. Loose tie. Like, and there's completely ignoring the fact that if I even drifted into that realm, I would be relentlessly bullied. There's no way you could get away with it.

Our school uniform had a like sweater. A fedore. I'm running. Imagine. Oh, my God. Yeah, there's like Nelly holding an SP. Oh, that's awesome. Is that JT?

And then there's some Avengers, but that seems too new. On the right there, is that JT? Justin Tim was like, yeah, holding the SP before the tour got ruined. That's true. There's like Ferrell on like a console. Like I'm like, wow,

they were really living the life. I feel like that hit so hard at the time because I'm like, It's not for babies. Look. It's for cool celebrities. I'm Farrell, and I don't know who that is yet in the past. You were saying you were watching some basketball.

I felt like a proud father. I was. I went to over a difference to play some board games last night and to offset how dorky that is. We, you know, carbo-loaded. Do a little jock stuff. We saw a little bit of it. And I just like, it's so funny to me anytime a,

like any athlete, but it's so much more noticeable with Wembe. because he's like so much more of him than like everyone Can you imagine what that fucking feels like already watching basketball on television you get like this warped sense of scale

because everyone looks relative to each other and so they seem like their average height and then you see like them next to a referee and you're like oh they're all giant like people think that like stuff like Steph Curry small or like

I can point it out like on the field you know like oh brawny James he looks so tiny. Brownie James is like my height. You know what I mean? My first situation with that was back in the early 2000s. I was a huge fan of Steve Nash and

Amari Stademeyer on the Sons and would go to games and stuff. It's not like I didn't see them in person, but when you see Steve Nash next to Amari Stademeyer, Steve Nash looks tiny. And then one time I saw him in the Scottsdale Fashion

Square Mall and he He was, I think he's six two. Oh, yeah. And I was like, whoa, he's actually tall. But yeah, so Wimby, to give you some context on that series, so it was, it's the first round of the playoffs right now. Spurs were playing the Portland Trailblazers, and they are favorites to win that series because the Spurs are one of the best teams in the league right now, like going into the

postseason. Well, they have a freakish tentacled south. It's not even just Wimby though. It's like they have done they basically were like tanking for years before they got Wimby and they have like they have Stefan Castle like Dylan Harper was the second pick of the last draft behind Cooper flag and of course they have Wemby. They have six man of the year, Keldon Johnson. They, Kelton Johnson just released or just put out a, a, um, players tribune. Yeah, yeah. Everyone should go read that if they're interested because it's a good background on like how the spurs put this team together.

Yeah. And it's cool because it's like they kind of have a famously like do things the right way type organization. And so game one, they, they win, Wimby, you know, broke Tim Duncan. record for like a rookie debut I think he had 35 points It's like yep this is gonna be the series and then game two Wembe actually goes down with a concussion So he his head so far up I exactly and that's part of the problem. It's a lot of gravity like gravity has a long time to do its work

Yeah, yeah, yeah And so he like lost his balance and he threw the ball away, but it didn't give him time to like put his arms down in front of himself. And so he ended up hitting his head against the floor. It was very hard to watch. And of course they kept showing it too, which I hate. I know I always hate that. I'm not squirmish for like any, for like most injury.

I'm not going to be like medicals of that stuff wigs me out a little bit. Mostly if someone like bails on a like a skateboard or something kind of look at it, there's something about like it's like right in the middle and like the uncanny valley of getting a relatable injury. Yeah. That I can't watch that. Yeah, it's relatable because I could be playing in the NBA. Right.

It's like my career could be on that. My team's relying on me. Well, yeah, of course. In the same sense. We're in the playoffs. Everyone, everything matters. But we're like fulfilling the role that Robin Williams fulfills in.

Good morning Vietnam for the army. We're the like the podcasters on the team. Yeah. With bench only. Right. And we're just like, nice. Yeah, yeah. We're like quite literally bench warmers.

Like our body heat is meant to just keep everybody comfortable. Oh, Mr. Weenion. Please take a seat. We've kept it nice and warm for you. But, uh, yeah. So then he went. into concussion protocol, which kept him out for like four-ish days. So we missed game three.

So they played without Wimby game three, but they still won because their team is like honestly really good. And so then they wrapped up the series pretty handily last. I think their biggest margin of victory was the game last night. Oh, maybe that had something to do with me? Yeah, maybe. They were like, this guy's about to play wingspan. I watched, I watched game two, though,

When I was at this YouTube event, you were the summit man, the summit ending? Yeah, I went to this YouTube summit in California. And it's like a thing with like the YouTube executive team and a bunch of, they like have like a maybe 100 creators. There's like a group photo that Neil Mohan posted, the CEO of YouTube, and conveniently cropped me out. Can I just say it wasn't just Jarvis.

No, it was just me. It was just me. What if it was like? Yeah, it's just like, I'm in the. middle of the crowd. It's like generative Phil. It's just more. Generative absence.

I'm curious. So this is the image. Oh, so Oprah was a special guest. And that was certainly interesting. So anyone in the wings? So you'll notice on the left hand side you have Darban. So yes, I was in the same room with Dar. And I did, I've talked to him before.

this time I did certainly avoid him because I didn't want to have to answer for the video I made about him I thought that you would have to answer for anything the NFL he should answer for well he when he was the NFL's chief kindness officer and I was like what does this even mean

I yeah you know in fairness I could have talked to him he's usually pretty fine but you can see some people are some people are cut off but I mean you know it's even a little bit of them in though that's kind of nice did I send the the full wide of this. Yeah, we were just looking at it. It's funny, I remember you being in it

kind of on the right side of the... Yeah, so this is the full photo. You go out. And if you look on the far right-hand side. Yeah, Jacob and Hans. He got trawled. So me... So what happened here, it's actually me and Courtney and Shane.

Didn't want any of them. My goats. They were my... And I was smiling. We were all smiling at the last minute because here's what happened. They were like simultaneously rushing this photo to...

happen. And then for whatever reason, we were towards the back because we're like the, we're the cool kids in the back of the class. And then some people were like trying to us forward. And in ushering us forward, we had to like go on the outside to come in. And then they were taking the photo to quickly. So we had to like all smile very hurriedly here, which is why we all look like this. You all look great. I don't know if this is maybe I'm going to sound absolutely mental, but there's something about zooming into an image like this that feels true crimey. Yeah. As soon as you do, like, I feel like 90-day-Fiancee does this.

Whenever they show photos that like the two parties send to each other, they always look like I'm watching a documentary about the life and death of someone. Yeah. I think what it is is, it's that slow motion thing, you know? It's like slowly panning across the screen. Yeah. The Ken Burns. Yeah.

So I will say I want to give some special shoutouts. I want to shout out. I want to shout out Shane and Courtney, first of all. They were like my home base. I want to shout out Michael from M&J TV, the Pokemon Goat. We hung out a bunch. Shout out Maya Higa. Maya Higa and I watched the end of the Spurs game at the Oprah.

Like Oprah was like... Yeah, what was she up to? Oprah was decided to hang out She gets on the phone She gets on the what On the list of the goats I didn't chat with Oprah I decided not to chat with Oprah

I'm like what did What do I have to say to Oprah You're Oprah Well also The Oprah thing was So like I also think that over time Like I have like Some negative opinions about how Oprah has behaved

As a billionaire That's what I was going to say It's like do you What are you going to say to Oprah that's not like, give Hawaii back that land? So that's my thing is like, it's like I don't like to, I'll like stand on business, but I don't want to like lie. And I won't lie to people's faces. So, but I also won't go out of my way to be rude. Yeah, and the interest of, you know, this isn't your house.

It's not my house. So I'm just like, oh, it's very nice that Oprah is standing and talking to people while everyone's eating. but me and my Higa were like watching the Spurs game on someone's phone and then it was the game that they like lost at the last minute because of Wimby's injury Imagine how charming it would have been if she came over and she was like oh man There goes Wemby and she's like relating to you and stuff and dapping you up pretty cool QD was there Qudy Cinderella so shout out we didn't get to chat very much but we did talk a little bit But yeah I mean some I mean there's lots of people there lots of YouTubers

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Oh, so this is a familiar face. Tom from Game Theory. My rival. And he looks disgusting. We actually shot something, I guess, with Tom that won't have come out. But I think it's fair to say that we have an extremely unpleasant and contentious relationship with him. And people are more than fair to spread that around. This is me asking the CEO and executive team of YouTube a question about what,

protections they're going to instill for in the on the platform for creators against like the looming threat of AI slop and its ability to like extract ad dollars from from the pie that we all like share as like members of of YouTube that very much is that post you that is a TED talk kind of like extrapolate it is one of those things where I'm like I am kind of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy. And I knew generally the question I wanted to ask, but I didn't write it before. Some people had scripted questions and stuff. Yeah.

And I'm like, it makes sense. But I was like, I'm pretty sure I had this together. But it's one of those things where I'm like, I'm going to rattle it off and here goes nothing. You're very good off the cuff. Well, thank you. I think you're one of the best off the cuffers. Wow.

That's what 20 years of podcasting will do you. 20 years of podcasting along with. Neural degradation. Neural degradation, a little bit of ADHD. That is very much the, if there's like a core competency you have. Well, thank you. Because the improv, I guess. I will say, I will say that I was pleased that they are aware of and acknowledge the concerns that I had.

Because, and have been kind of monitoring the situation from even before it was like feasible. Because it is like, there is this inflection point where you can be aware that like costs an effort to create the slop reaches a point where the flood gates open. Yeah. But like it could have existed before, you know. And so they are definitely working on it, which is good. But there are also like, we're just in a time with from a messaging standpoint. They're in a very pro-AI bubble.

Yeah. And- It's almost inconceivable that you wouldn't be to the. them. And so that's that's the, that's the concern for sure where it's like even in the answer to my question, there's a little bit of like, well, not all AI is bad. And it's like, okay, well, it's like we don't have to compliment sandwich. Yeah. Something that is data. Yeah. It's not a person. It doesn't have feelings. But but it's a thing that like, okay, well, we have all of these initiatives that hinge upon some of this technology. And so the leadership of the company is

limited in what they, how, how candidly they can speak because it can impact the morale of like a large organization. Which is always going to end up kind of, even if not on purpose, it's going to become the, I love pancakes. Oh, you hate waffles. Yeah. Like, well, all the air is not bad. Like, I asked what time it is.

That wasn't related to the things. No, it is one of those things where YouTube is one of the best suited platforms to address these problems. So I, you know, I haven't seen the. tools and stuff that they've enacted or what their kind of plan of action is. I, because I haven't seen that though, that I remain hopeful. Obviously, like, I tried to call out that, you know, there have been existing policies, but I, like, made videos about how people have, folks have skirted those things. Or the big question is, like, how do you define slop? And it's like, okay, you know,

it's like Italian brain rod is generative AI. And does the quality, perceived quality, matter at all, really. Right. Like, if it perfectly emulates the thing they wanted it to emulate and the average audience isn't going to spot or be bothered by it, is that any different than just some trash? And it is a thing where it's like you want to be, you don't want to put your thumb on the scale too much or like be the decider of what is and isn't speech like that is valid on the platform. But I think that I am, I think that we're reaching a time where we actually need more of that

thumb on the scale. Because somebody else's thumbs on the other side. Yeah, because, yeah, because also there are, you run the risk of encapsulating all the existing inequities in our society into these algorithms. Like, that's how we get, you know, the HP webcam that can't recognize black people. Like that, I always use that as an example or like the time that Google photos categorize black people is like guerrillas. Yes.

I think if you don't think broadly, if you consciously, kind of a weaponized. ignorance type thing. If you don't think broadly and you say, DEI programs are unfair, that doesn't make any sense and it's unreasonable. So we're making everything even. That only makes any sense if you ignore every other factor in the world and everything that's ever happened in history. Like if you say, like, well, why did that happen? And it's like, well, there probably wasn't somebody in a position of authority that called it out and would even suggest it as a possible issue. It's like as a corporation, like we always have to kind of hold YouTube to the fire.

But of course, there's a difference between YouTube and the individuals who work there. And, you know, every individual that I've really ever interacted with cared very deeply about their job and creators and stuff. It's just YouTube operates at such a scale that it's difficult to communicate in a, like, lossless format to, like, actually get the right sentiment and information to, people about what creators are feeling on the ground and what audiences are feeling. But, you know, I remain optimistic. We remain on it.

Here we are. Here we are. Chilling out. We're literally inside a little thumbnail. People don't know that when they click the thumbnail, we feel it. I do, yeah. It hurts a little bit. The pointer's pretty pointy.

Yeah, could you be like a custom one? Yeah, can you get a nice one? It's that finger, actually, honestly. When it goes over us and then they do that, it's like... Preferably you click on the title instead of the... Right. Oh, my God. Wait.

People aren't... I have a complaint. Oh. If you go on, like, YouTube.com and you look at a homepage, every single time I want to click on the thumbnail, I accidentally click the part that takes me to the YouTube help page about branded content. Does that happen to anyone else? Right.

In the top left-hand corner, when it's like includes... sponsored content. Wait. Oh. It just so happens that I always click right in that area because it didn't used to, because my muscle memory developed at a time that that didn't happen. Left-handed? No, I use a mouse right-handed.

What the hell? Yeah. That's fascinating. Yeah, well, it's because. You have to. It's because I, to use a mouse left-handed, every mouse thing at school, I would have to, like, move it to the other side. So I just learned right-handed.

Plus, the clicker isn't, depending on the mouse. mouse style. Yeah. Sometimes it's like the pointer finger clicker only, right? It's kind of like when you use left-handed scissors because it's like shaped for a way. But because it's usually for mice, there's a shape of like it's meant to go inside to outside. So when you mirror it the same thing. No, no.

If it's not symmetrical, you still run into the problem. But I just never left-hand mouse. I will sometimes left-hand track pad. It's nice that it's honestly kind of cured you of your demonic problem in a way. It is nice to just, oh, what way and do you play a guitar hero control? I do lefty. Right hand on the frets? Right hand on the frets, yeah.

So I do lefty flip, which is another thing. It's like a regret of mine because there is a certain shame you feel when you start a thing. And then the thing starts coming out. And then you realize it's not on lefty flip. and you go, oh, sorry. And then you have to stop and, like, go into the settings and then flip it to lefty flip, and then you can shred.

Being pinnickety, you know. Prince was a very fussy individual. And I believe left-handed? Yeah. But then Jimmy Hendricks, I learned to play a little, I learned to play guitar like Jimmy Hendricks. He betrayed you.

Not well, but I did, like, do what he does, which is I just hold the guitar upside down. The thing is, Jimmy Hendricks never had to play guitar hero because he would have to read back, Yeah, he would never be able to play. He would never be able to play guitar. He'd read it like manga.

Jimmy Hendricks would never play guitar here the way that I can play guitar here. Can we say it? He's a hack. Yeah, there is like a deterministic thing about your hand. Because I do feel like, yeah, you can get fine or you can be amidictious, but there is a natural aptitude. Yeah. Oh, for sure.

Do you do the like writing right to left sometimes like per word to not smudge it thing? No, I would just smudge. Respect. Yeah. Hell yeah. Did they ever want you to change it? Did anyone ever be like, no, no one ever cared. I think I, I'm not that old because I think that it was like a bygone.

Oh, by the time I got to school, they were like, you can be left-handed. But my sister. They're like, we're actually pretty woke here. We're progressive. Yeah, we're progressive school. As long as you're straight and sick. When my sister was learning, she would move the. the pencil from or crayon or whatever you do in kindergarten from hand to hand she would she was

like figuring it out you know smart running experiments they were like stop that what like I think at one point they were like put your left hand behind your back kind of thing she could have been perfectly ambidectious she was figuring it out both of the same hell and slow that down isn't that cool my sister got spanked in school too I know she was the last era of spanking you you you So you know who's in spank since. Can't happen. No one knows how. It's a lost art.

They had a paddle hanging on the wall and bad kids got paddled. I've seen that. I've seen that in like one-room schoolhouses from like a hundred years ago. No, this was in Florida. That's such a Matilda thing to death. There was a one-room school house that was called the one-room school house in Gainesville. I don't know much about it. Just that this guy, this kid on my friend who lived on my street went there.

Where I'm from, there was like a very particular like tier of, because I know there's private schools and public schools, but like in Stroud at least. Shout up to the Glossisher Massive. There was like very much a like hierarchy of poshness descending and then landing. You know, I'm going to say maybe Archway, we were maybe rocking somewhere near the bottom, maybe we were the bottom. I'm wondering if it's like just a British kind of class system framing where like, like, Marlowe. was like the boys private school and then a Stroud High was the name of the girls one not very imaginative. I felt like I always had an association in my brain of like, okay, well, if you're posh, you have to go to those. Because you test into them, but like also I think maybe you have to pay for it. I'm not actually crystal clear on there. Are there enough schools or like considered rival schools to be like, oh, that's the that's the prep school. The most exclusionary thing that happened in my hometown was just school zoning. And I think, think some schools were better than others and had programs that others didn't. And so, can you only attend one in your zone?

There is something called magnet schools. Yeah. Magnet schools is a school that any zone, any kid from any zone can go to. But I- You have to be, like, accept it. Like you need like a special permission, basically. Like, like, like, magnet, like that. No, like magnet as in zoop.

Oh, really? Yeah. Because they attract people from all- Let's say you have a... Is it really cool? That's so whimsical. So it would be like science specific. Or there was one in Tucson that's like arts and performance specific.

My Howard Bishop Middle School was where I went to middle school. Shout us. Had like a technology. It had a magnet program and that is just called that. And it was called like, I think it was called the Academy. Cool. I think. And you and I had to apply.

Dude, that's the same name as Patrick Bet David's fiction book that he wrote like a couple years ago. Pretty cool. Weird coincidence. But it was, and their thing was, it was like technology themed. It was simply that we had. Like an escape room. Well, no, because it was like, it was like all normal. And then there was like a technology class.

One of our subjects was technology. And that was maybe one of the magneting things. Supposedly, I think I was able to go because I got good like F-CAT scores, like, which was my, like. the standardized test. Federal. Florida. Florida comprehensive assessment test. Of course it's not federal.

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Can I ask you, do you know what an almond mom is? The beige mother type materials. It sounds like. You're like into health foods and stuff. Yeah. So that's close to it. Before we get into the topic, I just want to give a content warning for discussion of disordered eating, eating disorders, body image stuff and like relationships that are like

contribute to negative body image. So it actually originates from Gigi Hadid. Oh. Because Gigi Hadid told a story of. telling her mother that she was hungry and Yolanda saying have six almonds. Oh. Well, so a couple years ago, my dad was in town and I introduced him for the, for the first time to my good friend Echo. And when we left, Echo goes, your dad's kind of an almond dad.

And I had never heard anyone talk about men as an almond whatever. It has always been almond mom. I see. But my dad is an almond dad. He's always like, we had a big lunch. We don't need to eat dinner. And it's like, I need to eat dinner. You do whatever you want, but I'm going to eat dinner.

And he's doing that in the same vein as like discouraging certain body habits or like? He is, I love my dad. I love him. He's done so many positive things for me. but he like all of us is a work in progress. Yeah. And so I might speak a little ill of him right now. But he is a great God.

We appreciate that about him. But he and his parents gave to him and he then gave to me a emphasis on appearance. Appearance is the most important thing in the world to my dad's parents. then to him, when he and his brother get together, I'm like, please stop talking about people's appearances. Oh, interesting. They're gossips. I mean, kind of, like, but sometimes it's to them positive.

Like, my sister's husband lost a bunch of weight. I didn't discuss it. My sister didn't discuss it. I guess my uncle saw it on the internet. and then could not, when we all were having like a little family reunion, he goes, he looks so good. He lost so much weight. He like couldn't stop talking about it.

And then my sister goes, I'll give him to you. Do you want to marry him? You can have him if you want, like jokingly because that's how my sister is. I remember when I was streaming more regularly, like around the pandemic. And I hated like positive or negative, like any discussions of my body. Just don't do it. Like my policy is you never need to comment on anyone's body positive or negative. If you think it's positive, that person might think it's negative.

Yeah, yeah. And there's always the like, if someone is insecure about something, they're going to have cultivated like almost a defense mechanism against feeling better about it because insecurity is a symbiote, right? It gets in your brain. It's locked in and it wants you to feel it and it makes you want to feel it. Like it creates that cycle because it doesn't want you to tell. take it out. Right. So it can, I find that like if you are insecure about something and it is brought up unprompted by you, my first instinct goes, so you were thinking about it. Like, so that's the thing is, it's like, wow, your teeth are looking really good since the eviseline. I'm like, so what did you think?

It's a nice thing, but I'm like, but what did you think? Yeah. You know, you're going to default to the. I've had lots of people in my life who have been like, you look so good. Did you lose some weight? And I'm like, no, I didn't. But now I didn't. But now I'm. I know you think I would look better if I lost weight. Yeah. Or best case are you thought I looked bad. Oh, you don't look like trash. Interesting.

What's this? Did you shower or change the new person? Yeah, it's just like, I think that there's so many things to compliment someone on or to observe. And most of them should be choices that person's actively making. like if Jordan wears a cool jacket it's not like attached to his it's not a part of his body you know it's like a choice you made in the morning

well and like I've had friends be like oh I got my haircut I'm not sure what I think about it what do you think it's like they explicitly asked for my opinion I'm probably going to be like I think you look great all of that is to say

there is a kind of joky trend on TikTok and other social media about something called almond husbands. Can I say that I think that a lot of people will relate to that? Because I was just at dinner last night. And I was like hearing people share similar stories about the relationships that they

have with their families where there's like these little little like death by a thousand cuts type comments and stuff that just like don't lead to a good place. As soon as somebody acknowledges out of nowhere in a positive or negative sense, acknowledges your form, acknowledges the flesh. I all of a sudden, it's kind of like an aura starts glowing around me and I go, oh my God, bones, body, flesh, face, teeth.

Yeah, it's like I want to be a mist. Yeah, I suddenly realize I exist. You start floating and you're like, oh, wait, now I'm realizing you can see the way I'm sitting. I can see the way it's hand. Most of the time I don't want to be perceived. Exactly. I mean exactly.

Also, pandemic for me was like, a time that I wasn't being very, like, kind to my own body. And I also, like, gained a bunch of weight due to, like, some unhealthy eating habits. And, and, you know, coping just with the state of the world. And I remember, like, becoming somewhat agoraphobic, like, not wanting to go outside because I didn't want to be perceived. Yeah. And that was, like, really hard to get over. And I think that some of my social atrophy is like due to that period in time where I like just feel like I lost some of those muscles of like just going out and being about it is yeah atrophy is perfect you to put it because it is like it's not really something you then rebuild back up to where it was you now have like different

muscular structure it might be more confident than ever or less confident than ever but it is like that guy is someone else yeah that is just a very different way of engaging with the world especially with insecurities when you're younger. I mean, it's so much more volatile. Jordan was making a joke because I choose to be off camera. So when I said, I don't want to be perceived. And he pointed to me, it was like, yeah, you're off camera. I don't want to be perceived.

It's like one of those things where you don't want to mention it in every episode. But I imagine someone's like, wow, they never put that woman on camera. Okay, let's watch one of these almond husbands do their thing. Eat an almond. Wow. Hey, babe. I'm going to eat this almond. Misunderstanding the trend so much.

Things my almond boyfriend has around the house. Yeah. So the almond husband, by the way, it's a bad thing, question mark. Being an almond boyfriend. Because this is like, you know the drill. I emoji hashtag biohacking hashtag longevity. So this one, it almost feels like she's bragging. Sometimes they're like laughing at their husband.

And sometimes it seems like they're bragging about their husband. Things my almond boyfriend has around the house. An almond. Things my almond boyfriend has around the house part five. He has a red light toothbrush. This is meant to be much better for your gum health and reducing inflammation. In times like these, I, because I feel like we're all being told about a million products a minute. And I don't know if it's, if there's like research there.

I'm good. I feel like every few months I learn about a new light. Yeah. Blue was rockin. Remember when everyone was like charcoal, charcoal, charcoal, charcoal. Put it in your skin on your teeth. Put it all over your face. Wear a costume.

Paint your lips red. Be Justin Trudeau. This was what people were saying. And everyone was like, it's good for this. It's good for that. And then people were like, no, it's not good for any of this. I didn't get the update. Yeah, fuck.

We're not on the mailing list. I was like covered in chocolate. I just think it doesn't do what it says it does. It kind of just is putting charcoal. And you're actually not supposed to put it in your mouth. That's crazy. My toothpaste right now is a whole industry of charcoal toothpaste. See, but I think red light is similar where it's very mainstream right now.

And bleach loo paper in all the bathrooms. New paper. They can't be having chlorine and harsh chemicals down there. An air purifier. Okay. I was going to say these things don't feel like the same order of magnitude. Yeah, I was learning about, like, I didn't even know you could get on these toilet paper. Allman is specifically about appearance, not health.

What is the thing with, but I guess they're. co-opting it. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened online. What is the benefit of the unbleached toilet paper? When you eat it. But it's like... It's just more natural. Yeah, but I'm like, is the bleach rubbing off onto your butt?

Is that the concern? And what's the... What's it for? Is it better for the environment? I can imagine it's less chemical process. I think Jordan's never taken a shit. No, I know what toilet roll is. You keep it in there.

It's decorative. No, Jordan. It's loo paper, first of all. Yes, lou paper. Well, loo paper you used to wipe. But toilet paper in America. You never use that. Ranking wise, air.

You should probably, I mean, we have horrible air where we live. So this, by the way, but I have an air purer of iron. No, I was going to say, I remember when the fires were happening. And I was so glad that I had the air pure fires because it was like, meaningfully making the air like more palatable, like in my home. It's the most noticeable thing. I feel like a lot of people are the same with like, I don't know, like deodorant stuff or like cleaning their time where it's like, I'm just not going to do that.

Maybe I'll get away with it. You're only going to notice it when you really notice it, but it is always there. It's like, oh, if it's a really sunny day, you're going to see from the light beam the dust floating around. But then it gets dark. I guess it's gone. I will say that I got my air purifier thinking that it would, improving the air quality would help my sleep. And none of that happened. Pre-nose-fix?

Yeah, pre-nose-fix. I think the reason she's bringing it up is because it's like, boys aren't supposed to care about these things. They're in England too. She's not just British, right? This is in England, because if so, this instantly makes so much sense. This is peak notions.

This guy has notions of liking specific things and having preferences. Unacceptable. British men are not supposed to. People are only on sunglasses. I'm going to bring up a term that this feels adjacent to that's been in retirement. metrosexual. As soon as you said that,

I'm like, do-p-d-do-d-d-d-scanning. Hangover just came out in theaters. Dark nights coming out soon. I feel like that was like any man that took care of himself. Yes. Because it had to have a special term. It's gender failure. Like it was, it would put in like a...

We lost one, boys. Yeah, he's failing. He's no, he's no longer covered in mud. He's wearing a blue shirt. Well, and like in the late 90s, early 2000s, there were things like queer eye for the straight guy. where it's like specifically for straight men. It was for almond boyfriends.

To be like, almond boy for the straight guy. Because like metrosexual, it was like he cuts his hair. Yes. He gets haircuts. Is Metro supposed to be like the city? Yeah. Modern.

Like, oh, he's one of those city slickers. Yeah. He like uses a toothbrush. Yeah. Always being said, by the way, with like, buy guys with a $90,000 truck with nothing in the bed of it. Oh, yeah. Like, LARPING is just a different kind of dude.

Yeah. Going into debt for the, like, insane car payment on your Ford F-950. Me and my Hummer are judging you for using hair gel. Nuggets of frankincense. When heated, they also purify the air? So, yes, the air filter's not enough. So what's that? That one I don't.

Franken, it's, like, being revived from the dead. What do you call it? Aromatherapy. Oh. It's an aromatherapy thing. Okay, sure. And a massage gun, again, like a therogon. And again, like a theragon is like, that's not like pseudos.

I mean, that like helps. This guy seems to just kind of be taken care of himself a little bit. You see like work out a lot. I don't know. Maybe it's like a normal guy, but also we live in Los Angeles. Yeah. Oh, you're so right. Yeah, this is.

It's peak notions. Like if the idea of having any item that is in pursuit of taking care of yourself, of wearing anything that your girlfriend didn't buy you. Yeah, men are not supposed to take care of themselves. You're a loser. But also if you bought it for yourself, then you're, the only thing you're allowed. to buy as a lad is a t-shirt that's like three sizes too small because you're on like the most

aggressive steroid trend cycle imagine war wait but and how are how is lifting weights and steroids not a part of that it doesn't make sense is what i'm trying to say what do you mean it contains contradictions so patriarchal gender roles they've gotten us this far so it's weird to complain about them now i think we've all had a pretty good experience with it so far it wasn't a problem when uh we were hunting and gathered helps break down lactic acid and reduced stiffness. Yeah. A weighted vest.

I think this is about 20 kilograms. That's like the most Jordan-coded. Struck a 2016. This would be something that would be like on the floor in your apartment in 2016. Did you have one? Okay. This is a thing that's popular in L.A. right now. It's called rucking.

Yeah. And like honestly, having it in 2016, 2017 is kind of ahead of the trend. It's kind of the behavior of a man who capital I influence it. Yeah. Oh, hey. Isaac Newton, why are you talking about gravity? You know what I mean? It's like people living in the past and understand the future.

No. That's my point. And you are right, yes. And I currently also do have one in my room on the floor. Chalk for better grip strength, which is a key indicator of longevity. He sounds like he's just a climber. Well, yeah, no, hold on. I feel like that's like for, if you do like a certain type of lifting.

Yeah. And for climbing, you would use that. The grip strength thing is like you gain the grip strength from able to do the exercises from having the chalk on your hands. Caution is very much a gender failure thing, especially in the case of like, there's like so many bad stories of people getting herniers from not wearing lifting belts. Oh, right. Professionally and just for at the gym.

Because it just feels like, well, I'll just use my big strong body. Oh, yeah. The truth is it's like, it's not about how big strong your body is. It's actually just like less helpful because you're not isolating the thing you're trying to do. And you're like straining other parts of, I think. I feel like so much of form for exercise is not about the optics. It's about making sure that kinetically the right stuff is being exercised.

Because otherwise you just wear a way to vest and you run around. Reminds me of guys not wanting to wear helmets. Yeah. Because it's not fucking sick. And I had a, we have a friend. They were like, I wonder if this is like an unreasonable reason not to date someone. But they're European. and that's good enough.

And they're seven foot five. When they bike around New York, they don't want to wear a helmet because Europeans don't wear helmets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a good enough reason. And I'm like, and it's like, I don't want to date this person because this is like a sign of the kind of like if you were my actual like partner, I would be worried about you. Yeah.

And I don't want that. stress in my life. It's kind of corny, to be honest. I agree. Because it, I feel like reframing just basic insecurity as something that's like, I'm going to take a little bit of just a fraction of umbrage with, I'm going to say my fellow Europeans. I know that allegedly we Brexit did, but I'm trying to drag us back together. I went there manually. I was like Chris Evans holding onto the helicopter in Winter Soldier, you know, I'm doing one again, or Civil War, one of the movies. You're Spider-Man holding onto two webs trying to pull something together? Actually, yeah, I'm sort of Okay.

And I'm drunk with an MS. Steve. Wait, so it was you that have this problem? Yeah, I'm not going to do that guy. But there is a thing I think that like, and I can only speak to kind of the culture I grew up around, but it is kind of a classically European thing talking about America where things we don't do, we frame us moral failures in the US, like, but also having a really big fridge. Or air conditioning.

Air conditioning. It's like, oh, you need that? Like, no, I want it. Yeah. And it's good to have it. And no one in the U.S. is going like, oh, my God, what are a horrible moral failing not having AC? Like, I'm like, you should get AC.

It's gross. With climate change, with AC, my nan won't die. You know what I mean? Me nan. Me nan. Me nan. But yeah, there is a very much a, I didn't wear a helmet in San Francisco for so long. I rode my bike every day.

In San Francisco and New York, it's like famously dangerous to bike there. Like, because the drivers, like, just do not. look out for their fellow, like, pedestrian people. Road users. And then also, probably the same psychology of the reason that someone's not riding, is not wearing a helmet, people make, do risky things on bikes and stuff. And that stresses me out. And people not using their blinker, which every one I've heard people talk about it, it is absolutely the like, well, yeah, what? The real man doesn't do that.

Like, this is my road. I'm doing my thing. I'm like, okay, I don't think a real man gets turned two-dimensional by a truck. I do every time, if I'm alone even, and in the car, because you've seen me do this, someone will, like, turn and I'll be like, no blinker? Okay. Interesting. Interesting.

And it's like, and in times... I suppose the king of the road changed them all. And it's like, and the thing about using your turn signal is that it's supposed to be a, it's supposed to be muscle memory, and you're supposed to do it without thinking about it. Yeah. So when you don't do it sometimes, I know that you just don't do it a lot. You are weak of spirit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just do it because it's protecting yourself, but also everyone else around you. Just get in the habit. You know, there's loads of these that like, and the more I think about them now, it's stuff that I started doing because I grew up. And intuitively at the time I didn't, case in point, before the topic of vaccines had quite the cultural purchase it has now. Granted, anti-fax stuff has always been around, but it's a little different now. It's crazy to think about the old discourse about it.

That it used to be more about like, I don't know if I want the measles one for my kid, but maybe when they're older. Yeah, because I've heard about the autism risk or whatever. I remember I used to not get like flu vaccines. And I'm just like, whatever, I'll just tank it, whatever, what do I care? And then at the Patreon office, because this is when I'm like, 22, and I just said that, I'm like, that's whatever, I don't mind getting sick. I typically don't.

And then someone was like, yeah, but it means you're more likely to be a carrier and can give it to someone else. I went like, oh, I'd just chosen the narrative, which was conveniently the thing that also means I don't have to book an appointment and goes. to do everything that's already comfortable for me and that way I don't have to change anything. And you get to look like a tough, cool guy who doesn't need vaccine. I don't want to mess up my hair with the helmet, but also fuck this helmet. There's also like the low chance of like even crazier stuff happening where it's like, it's just all the reason to, you know, protect yourself. Mittens.

I think they work by then cooling your like core temperature, which increases strength and endurance. I don't know what you guys are expecting. I was anticipating style and presentation stuff and it's almost all fitness stuff. Yeah, a lot of this does feel like the dude type

that's like Jordan in his 20s. Okay, come on. So what do the comments look like on that way? Kill him. Oh, look at that. That's metrosexual. Does Allman mean a bit gay? Bruce Bogtrotter.

And then is this your boyfriend and it's Brian Johnson? Yeah. As if like, as if like wanting to reduce the lactate. acid after I don't even do any of this stuff. It's just like no brush my teeth.

I don't wipe my ass. I don't wipe my ass. It's a little gay. It's a little and I am not that. Does your boyfriend have a boyfriend? Oh, are we doing like casual homophobia again? Like big time? And it's happening.

And not that it never went away, of course. Look, it's people doing that and then 15% more progressive people doing actually it's, he's rich. Consumerism. Okay. It's like, again, consumers and final boss. It's like, I feel like consumers. Final Boss is when you do the, I'm going to pour this container into another container.

Yeah, that's true. I'm almost bummed that the comments and the reaction to that are so confrontational because it, the original video is just a bit of fun about a bit of a fussy boyfriend. Does it feel like the moment we're in? I've got it just like, everything needs to be like. I'm like, isn't magic fun? It's like, let's do a witch hunt. Ostensibly, this woman is in love with her boyfriend.

Yeah, yeah. You know, and it's like, oh my God, this idiot. Good reason to leave him. Yeah. I saw one comment that was like, man, I need an almond boyfriend. I'm like, oh, okay, because it's like you enjoy those kind of. A lot of those are hobbies. And I think they get taken away or like restructured as something else.

But like it is a bit of fun to have little self-care hobbies. It's the other thing where it's like a woman's not allowed to have a bit of fun online. Yeah. Because like a woman's not allowed to be coy or be jokey or whatever. It's like people are always like, oh, you're serious. I'm going to take you at complete face value. And then also women aren't funny. Because I don't recognize anything

a woman says. It's never seen one joke. I'm always curious of like how people latch on to the content is often reflective of like a current like media moment. Because the truth is is like I do sort of understand because like I think everybody has an endless

wellspring right now of like frustration and grievances and pet peeves and like no real safe way to express them or a way to feel like you're excising that feeling at all. But she doesn't have to be everywhere all the time. Part of me is like, this could have been a, look at my fussy little boyfriend. Yeah.

Which may also play into problematic, like, gender expectation, but completely punching sideways, like no drama. It's like, and of course, this is not her fault. She seemed to get it. But the thing is, if he was in the video, you know that the comments would be very different. Yes. It's like if he was in the video and he was like, it's for climbing and then people will be like, oh, he's cute.

Yes. You know what I mean? It's because he's so puppy coded. Because it's a hypothetical, they can fill it in with wherever their grievance actually lies. Yes. Like this guy is off screen and he looks like my ex. Like the fact that like we saw 20 consumers and final boss comments felt like someone had that preloaded in the chamber and wanted to just get it off. This one's about money.

Yeah. That actually is a great, that's kind of like the, I'm out of ammo, I'm just going to blow myself up with the grenade final option where it's like, okay, I can't critique them on this. I don't have any evidence of this other thing. I have nothing substances to say about this. But I have to comment. But I hate this and I don't know why. So I think it's because he's overspending. P.O.V, you ask your almond husband for a snack on a road trip. And it's half a banana. What's? Oh, I thought that would eat, filled it with like ice cheese. I also thought it was like filled with something. So have it like, you know, being handed half a banana instead of a whole banana. Now that's interesting because that is now the we've moved the role again that now it's the the do we're not the dewee.

So this is what I would traditionally call almond. Like this is something that's like it, you know, I told my mom I was hungry when I was a little kid and she said have six almonds, you know. Yeah. And I'm like, I have so many questions, but I will simply say, damn, that's crazy. me bottled water husband okay he has a snack drawer of snacks dried some dried fruit and nuts and 90%

dark chocolate which I will say I love dark chocolate but even for me 90% that's pushing it 90% is 90% for like medicinal I was just saying like that to me is promoted the way that when people are disgusted by putting anything in black coffee oh my you know what I mean you know what I mean

And not like, it's not about how you prefer your coffee. It's like when someone scoffs at the prospect of putting something in there. Oh, would you like any milk and cream in that? I could never. Are you out of your mind? Are you out of your gourd, dude? The other things I have with other things? My God.

Oh, my God. Never to be mixed. I just prefer the, I mean, we're at an established Waffle House. And I imagine your coffee master has brewed this freshly this morning. My, I'm my compliments to Mr. Nescoffay. Yeah, hmm. Is that French? I asked for, I asked for decaf coffee one time, and I didn't realize I was at a fancy place that was like, that actually doesn't exist.

And we don't serve decaf here because it, I can't, he said something along the lines of like, it corrupts the taste. Yeah. So it fucking does exist. It does exist. I know, because I've had it before. Again, it's the default to like a little bit of moral failing. Yeah. It's not just like bad and I don't like it and it goes against my hobby.

Imagine if someone did that about like smoking cigarettes over vaping. And they were like, yeah, we don't have any of that synthetic bullshit here. I will smoke my rat poison all by my lonesome. That isn't what cigar guys to some cigarette guys though. Everything trends upwards towards being more cringe. Oh, yeah. I'm not, sorry, I'm not gambling. I'm investing.

Oh, that's right. I'm a calci gal or whatever. All right, this is a snack drawer, but let's see more. More of the drawer? Snack drawer. 95. Relax, bro. 95.

This is going fast. Okay. He already prepares dinner in the morning. Okay. By chopping a bunch of little things. That's like... That's the kind of like a good idea. That's like the kind of person I wish I was.

But he self-makes sauerkimcheon from in a cauliflower. So he's a chef. Yeah. He's a home cook. He goes to work and he wears this big white hat. Yeah, and he's like, look at me. I'm making the food. This guy is constantly hanging out in this kitchen.

He's particular about things. Like, that's okay. We all are, right? It's like, but the humiliating guy, to my mind, is eating slightly undercooked chicken over the sink. That's like the guy I'm thinking of. It's doing like only like the nastiest, grossest, unseasoned meal prep and like eating out plastic fork over the sink. This is like, to me, I'm like, this is a real man and I aspire to be someone who thinks ahead. That's sick.

I made some chicken thighs the other day in bulk forgot to eat them but I did make a bunch of them and I had them with rice for like two days before I forgot to eat the rest this is something where I'm like

but like men should be allowed to make homemade sourcrow that's cool as hell I really hope this isn't in that brand of like partner video where they were not informed at all that would drive me up to war

yeah if you like find out yeah if Katie posted like a look at Jordan's mini figures paints It's like your fear of, um, we were watching Survivor and just like the shots of someone just like not looking their best or like looking a little awkward as they like stumble into camp. And Jordan's like, this is why I couldn't be on Survivor. That was just, I believe it was, I think it was Christian who he was just bending over to pick something up.

But his back was like slightly bent. And it caught him in a slow frame of him just looking so vulnerable. So he's just like so delicate in that moment. I'm like, no image is kidding. There's already the podcast doing it. Growing seeds on the couch. Okay. That's, okay.

So now that's getting into like, you know, shared space. I guess that's weird on the camera. The fridge, I'm like, that's the place that the, you know, sourcrout has to go. Actually, I don't really know. Is it like a thing where you like bloom the seeds and then you put them in soil? So it's not like a week long couch. It's not like sitting there for very long. Guy has hobbies.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what this is. And neither does this woman. Now, that is interesting. I'm imagining he's making something. He always brings his own snacks. Okay.

This just sounds like someone who I respect. Making this video about my kid in their lunchbox. He always is schooling. He's always eating his stuff. That's just like a guy living well. Yeah. This is someone who likes food is what I'm guessing and is very particular about food and that's okay. I'm just like the, wow, that's like economical.

This guy rocks. Is it going to say like, And he's always amazing at guitar and skateboards and like the best sex ever. His steak, his steak always too juicy. His idea of a sweet treat. That is a sweet treat. I would say this is definitely more aligned with what I consider almond. But he's not a, she's the almond.

He's not putting it on her. He's not projecting it. Yeah. He's just feeding himself what he likes to eat. It is a little bit like. That's true. Yeah. He's having dinner. He eats for nutrition, not for pleasure.

Yeah, that's what it seems like. Okay, that's fine. I know people like that. Maybe he takes joy in it. Yeah, I don't know. It seems like he's got his like little habits, though, which is cool. I mean, when I'm in my, on the occasions where I can develop and cultivate my being in my bag. When I have in my zone, and I'm doing meal prep and I'm somewhat sleeping regularly and all of that stuff, the food tastes better.

I feel better. Like, everything is there. It's like, frankly, I would never want this shared. Like if that was my friend, I'm like, oh, but that's my. Oh, yeah. I have those little hobbies, but they're not. Anastasia meal preps like a little bit. What?

Yeah, my idiot friend, look at them cooking for themselves. Excellent read. I thought the exact same thing I see the comment, is he German by any chance? And then I once dated a guy who called Donuts Circles of Death. Okay, well, that's extreme. Scary person. Here we go. Sorry, nothing but love.

Tall white boyfriend. Iconic look, certain type of boyfriend. You can get these online now. You can buy them. And they're legally assigned. If you're a lonely dude, you get hoodie girlfriend. Okay. And if you are, if you're not specifically interested in dating, you get free Discord.

What do you get if you're like a six one and a half podcast host? Cursed with a left hand. Oh. Check that out. That was cool. I haven't shared this on the internet yet, but the people must know because I bother my friend group with this all the time. But my husband is very crunchy. He doesn't even know what that means.

He's honestly giving almond husband. that he's doing boyfriend that wasn't expecting to be in a video posture where you rock back and forth to sort of state yourself you know um or like you're asking your kid to stay still but let me just tell you guys some things that my husband does that make him very almondy and crunchy if you will it's giving granola daddy i realize there's been like a etymology thing like we've gone from almond having the application of the like Gigi a Bid story to literally crunchy granola almond. But that's the thing because I conflated those things in my head just because they sound

like you can put almonds in granola. When I heard the term, yeah, I did. But then they see in my mind granola, crunchy granola is like I'm hiking and I'm out in the woods. I eat unadultered nuts. I eat an adultered nuts. I'm lightly spiritual. I'm lightly spiritual.

But I do think when applied to husbands and boyfriends, they are changing the definition of all in. We're watching language change in real time. It's just so interesting. It's like, because I, maybe I'm off. And I don't even know if this is like a chill term or not. I already used it.

But like the cliche of the tiger mom, right? Oh, yeah. Helicopter parent. There you go. Helicopter parent. I was kind of reading it like that. Yeah, which I think is how it was origin. I think it is, but it personally.

specifically about appearance. Does this, it kind of feels like if helicopter parent, 10 years later, when people are like, like one that's a pilot? Like a helicopter, but one with a big rotor on its head? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He has a big propeller hat.

They have those spitting hats, yeah. I'm a helicopter parent. Enjoy school. He makes ginger tea. That's for your stomach, right? Because ginger's like the best thing for your stomach. Of inflammation, yeah. He drinks a cup of his own ginger tea.

He's never used a mic. It keeps drifting away. This is like the guys that I see romanticized online where it's like I want someone who's like not online who doesn't know anything about the internet. And it's like this guy. He's like, what's happening? What is it? What am I holding? What is that mean?

A micropole be hon. It keeps drifting out of frame and she's like, no, the camera is here. Yeah, yeah. A camera. What's wrong with a make? Like Tumani Kamara, the basketball player? Yes, honey. I love.

He looks like Clay Thompson. That he drinks ginger tea. Yeah. seems like a good thing. Good for your time. But they say it makes ginger tea. Like he chops up ginger. Or does he just buy the ginger tea from the-

No, she's saying he chops up ginger and bruise it. Because you can do, that's like literally even less work than making pasta. He makes his own peanut butter, which you guys saw. He does that what every month and a half, maybe? How long does it last year? Peanut boyfriend. Yeah. What else do you do?

He sleeps with a sleep mask. That's not really crunchy. That's kind of high maintenance. I used to sleep with a sleep mask, but I used to sleep with a sleep mask. we had a child. We had a child and I sleep with the child on my face. I've started doing it and it is kind of helping, but like, again, fast, well, fast forward back, rewind, I don't know, five years even, maybe a little over that.

And I would be like, I'm a man, I don't need that. Again, it's like the dismissing any kind of personal effort type thing. Yeah. And the truth is, okay, this is a perfectly sweet video, by the way. This is not a- This is very sweet. This is very sweet. I'm jealous, boom.

the bones of it are like kind of predicated on what we were talking about in like gender expectation performance etc which before the most annoying people in the world comment about it uh is not comparable to what the experience is to not being a cis man it is we're you know with champion problems but there is a case of like i think sometimes in within our bubble ideological social political bubble i think we have a tendency to to maybe over-emphasize how gender performance for men is unnecessary. Like, it is unhealthy and it is dangerous. It is toxic to yourself as it is to others to engage with the toxic elements of masculinity.

But I feel like it's a little disingenuous for us to always frame it as something that is completely unnecessary and no one cares about because you will get bullied and you will get made fun off for it within our bubble. For like not performing. Yeah, it's like, hey, boys don't cry. Well, actually, you can cry anytime you want. Like, no, you fucking can't. You actually can't.

Well, you can, but then there's consequences socially depending on what your environment is. And you're always playing this, there's always, I mean, this is mainly when you're younger, but I'm sure it can apply, like, in other situations as well. But like, where you're trying to, like, what, prevent the dam from breaking. Yeah.

also like you you want to be a, you always want to be a member of the end group, right? Absolutely. And you just, it's kind of like you don't want to be observed. It's a particular pet peeve just because it's also something that I think I've certainly indulged in the past before thinking a bit more critically about it. It's very tempting to say like real masculinity is being open and being available and supportive and all of these things and expressing your emotions. And it's like, well, wait, it should be. But it is not right now because gender is only expectation. Gender is only, but gender is a social construct. We can aspire and do that because we're privileged enough to be in an environment where we can. But if I tell like a seven-year-old

kid that lives in a super conservative environment and I'm just like, yeah, just express yourself, be whatever you want, dress, however you want. It's like knowing your audience and knowing where you are and having to present within, like when I was boxing and I was at the boxing gym, I wasn't like friends with every, I wasn't comfortable with every single person that you see at the boxing gym. So there is a certain like performance. You know, it's like you're not your full comfortable self as you would be when you're, when I'm like in my home.

Yeah. Or something like that or amongst like the people closest to me. I was made to feel bad. Yeah. Because I didn't wear dresses and my mom made me wear dresses. I had gap in my teeth scar on my head and people told me about it all the time. And I was like, oh, well, my life would be easier if I didn't have gap in my teeth scar on my head. But like and then getting the thing.

people want to say immediate is like, no, those are fine. And it's like, the, the parental move there, right? With the, in the case of your parents, would be like, hey, heads up, the world is this way right now. And you are actually in the right here. I'm going to encourage this in this way. But I also just want you to know and be prepared for this thing, but you are in the right. It's like when the argument against systemic racism is like, well, we got rid of those. We got rid of slavery so long ago.

Okay, these things do not, we do not simply say you can express yourself however you want now. And then everything's fine. It's like people are still being bullied for their expression or people are still being othered or made to feel unwelcome in whatever spaces. And so it's like to pretend that that doesn't happen and it's a solved problem is like false. I think it's, I think it is unconsiderate of someone's actual experience because I mean, And we're talking about it from one of the most privileged kind of like this. I grew up in an environment that was not like I in my presentation did not have a lot of friction with the place. More than usual, some race stuff because, you know, not super diverse place.

But also like I was a bit of a emotional kid. I was a bit vulnerable. I was a bit, you know, like a had a lot of like weird tics and compulsions or so when I was younger. And my mom very kindly was like, no, that's okay. That's good to be that way. And she was right. I needed more setup. I needed to get a,

I would have benefited from a heads up. You are going to be this way. And just a heads up, someone is going to mention it and they might say something like this. It might make you feel bad. They are wrong. But if you don't,

I think a lot of people, including like a parent, will be in a position where they're like, yeah, well, if a nine-year-old say that to me, I wouldn't fucking care. Yeah. I'm an adult. Just be grown up.

These TikToks we're watching. They are coming from the, female partner who loves them and cares about them. You know what I mean? It's like it's gentle ribbing. It's not actually some of the comments are really mean. Well, it's funny because this is what I was talking about when the husband is present. It's a different vibe.

I do want to point out. Yeah, look at this comment, the second comment here. Wow, I think my husband is also crunchy skull emoji. What the fuck. His thing. His thing is air filter. though. He's very passionate about air filtration. I hesitated because I just saw his thing.

I went, oh, yeah. What do we? Okay. I just thought, why are our air filters? I'm like just noticing that air filters are a thing where these ladies are like, he freaking cares about the air quality. It's insane. Oh, is it the L.A. bubble that's getting us? I feel like this.

Maybe. Maybe it's the fuck because we live in the fire zone. You know, if you live in the Alps, air filtration maybe isn't a problem. If you live in like the countryside and in like a beautiful kind of natural space, but we live in a city where historically we've had like air quality issues. Like famously bad air. We have bad air when it's not on fire. That's like, it's so famous that the original names of coughing and wheezing, the

Pokemon, we're going to be N-Y and L-A. Really? Yeah. Like a E-N-W-H-Y. Like N-A. Like as the story goes, it's literally L-A, like N-Y and L-A, like N-Y and L-A, like L-A. like law and nigh. That's really,

that's actually fucked up. He uses mouth tape to sleep at night. Just the imagery. So much of his face is covered. Mouth tape is like, I still don't know where the jury is at with mouth tape because I don't know if you have sleep apnea, like obstructive sleep apnea,

what happens like when you use mouth tape? It feels like you would not get there. Which is why I was afraid of ever trying it. But I understand the ingredients to that. conclusion. I think the perceived hippie crunchiness of these kind of self-care products is why there's so many like the carbon fiber, Army kinetic version of the hostage tape. It's not mouth tape for girls. It's hostage tape. It's gun metal colored. Don't worry. Base camp orange. You don't need to feel self-conscious about taking care of yourself because you're in the Army.

Army Green. Your phone case is in the Army. Your phone case is in the Army. Your phone cases of the Army. your seat bat machine is tactical this man appreciates quality sleep which we all should sleep is very important yeah oh my god yeah Povie you get Froyo with your almond dad hilarious and this is like a European size because in America

they wouldn't let you have I don't know this for sure but like they're in New York I'm pretty like as I can see on the bag but it is funny because America has had like the the size growth of The satisfaction to me of having like one big scoop and then wanting a little more and getting an extra is so much more like fulfilling than having all my scoops at once. Because then I like, I feel more like I've indulged.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, I got three scoops over time. It's also just so much easier to eat the pint if you're holding the pint. Yeah. I did go sick on about that time. We watched a survivor. And there was nothing wrong with that. That was some good sorbet as well.

I was eating some chocolate gooey brownie. I was actually. And I tactically left it at your place so I didn't eat the whole thing that night. I kinetically disengaged from the combat situation. When you're married to an almond husband. They're watching TV at night together. And he's like on a walking pad, but he looks like he's hurting and he's eating a peach or something. Yeah.

Is he limping? He's like, what's the term? Hurt. But she's crawled up in bed watching a TV show. Red light. And he is. is sweating and eating a peach. Is he walking on the almonds?

He looks like he should rest his ankle. Is the walking pad covered his leg? This is like in Resident Evil when you're at like low health? Yeah. You don't have to like, he needs a green herb. Your grace and you're slipping on blood. Dude, spoilers. Ooh, sorry, that's right into the game though.

No, wait, the Residence Evil, they just moved in. I know, they should have known. Why are you? No, no, no. No, my. Dats. This is all I need to keep me full. That was good.

Okay, you're coping. This is all I need to keep me full. No need to protest. It's like he's doing it as a trophy. It's like, this is all I need to get me full. I'm trying to show how efficient my body is. I don't need a jacket. I'm not even cold.

Yeah. Very much my father. Wearing shorts. Shorts in winter. But you can tell that, because this is her dad, right? It is funny because the child. Because the child is trolling him by putting the ice cream on the thing. It's like, oh, oh, you want the ice cream?

Take a little bit of your bed. No, that's more than I need. That was a little bit of fun, wasn't it? I want to have some almonds. Guilt and shame just don't ever help anything. Hold on. I got it. Guilt and shame make Jane a lame.

Yeah, she sucks. Wow. That's something. That's pretty good. Thank you. She's an awful person. I don't like her. We should put that.

school books. We should put that in school books. Because I want to advise against feeling guilt and shame about things. Unless you harm someone. Yeah, that's true. But most of my guilt and shame is about myself. Yeah, that's the thing is I think we often are just shaming ourselves. And it makes us a lame dame.

Which I want to talk more about that in connection with Virgin Island over on Sad Boys Night. There's a real show called Virgin Island. and it's not the show called Are You My First, which I made a gold video about. It's a different show called Virgin Island. And I told Anastasia to look into it to see if we should make a video about it. And then Anastasia was like, oops, I watched the whole show and I'm crying now. I didn't say that.

Anastasia was like, this is me. I'm a big virgin. And so we're going to talk about that on Sadboy's Nights and also other stuff I imagine. What if I was? No guilt or shame. No guilt or shame. A promise for a guy. Because this one over here is not a lame dame.

Yes. A regular dame. A regular dame, Lillard. You should get by Dame Vigo. We end the podcast. We end every episode of Sal Boys. It's like a text description. They end the podcast.

We had every episode of Saddways with a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. Almond boom. Almond boom. I should delicate that future girl Future girl, yeah, we're on now Take my money, go away

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