Sad Boyz - The Worst TikTok To Ever Exist

Episode Date: September 14, 2024

Sad Boyz discuss aging, keeping friends, Jarvis's beef with Instagram, and a truly bewildering TikTok. CW/TW: Potentially triggering phrases (1:19:00 - end) New Sad Boyz MERCH! Check out our new FREE Magic The Gathering segment "Magic Moment" or watch 70+ bonus episodes of Nightz for only $5/mo at: https://patreon.com/sadboyz Join our Discord ▸ https://discord.gg/Hw82Dhun4m P.O. Box ▸ 3108 Glendale Blvd Suite 540, Los Angeles CA 90039 Play Sad Boyz BINGO ▸ https://sadboyzpod.com/bingo Write To Us ▸ [e-mail] Use the subject line "Pen Palz" and we could read it on the next episode! Our Links ▸ https://linktr.ee/sadboyzpod 🎶outro music🎶 @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank 00:00:00 Anastasia Loves Kenya 00:02:44 Frankie Muniz, Various Hell-Holes 00:07:05 They Might Be Giants 00:10:16 Age is wild. How old will we be? 00:17:17 Sonder & Maintaining Friendships Through Time 00:29:42 So Millenial 00:33:36 Born To Pick Cotton 01:19:02 Dear, Instagram 01:26:38 Sad Boyz Nightz This episode was recorded August 28, 2024 Produced & Edited by Jacob Skoda

I go into the bathroom, I'm a little baby, and I walk out with a newspaper and a piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe. Welcome to Stab Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. Hey, what's up? Yeah, you want to explain what you just said? No, I like it without context. Where can we cut in on that? You know why I was doing a crazy little tangent? Because Anastasia's here without a microphone. Oh my god, I'm here!

Oh, she pulled it out of her butt! What the hell? Where'd it come from? What, do you have two? I'm back. Hello. You're back. You were gone.

I was, I had left the country. You were visiting my- You fled, actually. I fled. You went to go see my dad. Yeah, I went to go see your dad. He said, what's up? I think he said, what is up? Hello, Anastasia.

What, where have you seen my son? Anastasia, you went to Kenya. And you were telling me that it was really cool and everyone you met was really cool. And I said, don't tell Jordan that because oh good, it was head. I did say this. You did say this to me, but legit, I love Kenya. One of the most beautiful places I've ever seen in my life.

It was absolutely gorgeous there. Every person I met was so nice. Was this your second time in Africa because you were in Benin for Peace Corps stuff, right? Yeah. So second time in Africa, the first time I lived there for two years and I also got to like go to other countries and check them out. This time I was like just in Kenya, traveling around Kenya. You're more African than me. I don't know. I do want to say for some reason people are weird about tourism to Africa. Like Americans, I mean.

When I told people I'm going to Kenya, a lot of people were like, oh my God, I mean. When I told people I'm going to Kenya, a lot of people were like, oh my God, be careful. Really? And I was like, you don't know anything about Kenya. That's careful. Not any more or less dangerous than going to Paris. That's like when our friends from rural Georgia california and their parents were like or their grandparents were like be careful out there be careful there's fewer guns

liberals uh i mean i got that that exact same statement from my family when i moved to the u.s except to be honest they kind of it's not not the air quotes crime element, which people would always point to typically if you're from like a more conservative place or whatever, it's just the gun component that by itself is, you know, I think a pretty good reason to be like, Hey,

be careful. Yeah. I think that's valid. Welcome back. What's you staying or I'll stay for a little bit. Did you have the same reaction as Frankie Munoz when you landed in LA? I saw, can we go to Frankie Munoz's Twitter?

I have no idea the context of this, but it came up on my feed and it's so funny out of context because he literally tweeted, I've been in LA for six minutes and this place is, wait, I actually don't want to take his words out of context. I'm going to put them exactly in context. I landed in Los Angeles 23

minutes ago, and I'm already disgusted by this hellhole. 23 minutes ago? You're still in LAX. Does he think the cars... Top reply. 23 minutes ago, you're still at the airport. That is so... To my understanding, Frankie Munoz

lives in Scottsdale, Arizona. No. And as our resident Arizona expert... That is a hellhole. Oh, wow. I can't believe it. Jesus. Like, you guys have a bunch of people,

friends from Arizona. Weirdly, we have a bunch of friends from Arizona. Yeah, why is that? I don't know. You attract Arizona. We're attracted. We love people from hell, I suppose. Arizona can be beautiful and can be great in so many ways.

Cleans up nice. Yeah. But I do have to say, Scottsdale sucks. Phoenix has some good qualities, but Phoenix sucks. And you're allowed to say that because you're from Arizona. Yeah. I'm from there. is like has some good quality and you're allowed to say that because you're from arizona yeah i'm from there i i uh grew up in tucson but i also lived in phoenix for like 10 plus years so yeah you're on notice malcolm tread tread lightly i'll put you in the middle of my two fists whoa

that was good that was good that's a weird punch though isn't it that is a weird punch yeah it's kind of like we saw we saw a meme of broly no it wasn't a meme it was a physical tattoo on someone's body permanent meme a permanent meme of broly uh the legendary super saiyan uh squishing vegeta's head between his gigantic pecs which seemingly like veget seemed fine with it. His arms are just set to the side. He's not fighting him or anything. I think he's unconscious in that. It's just probably wise. That's another good reason. How the hell are you,

Jarvis? I'm fine, Johnson. I've been, you know what? I'm better than fine. This week I've started, like I've, I've started moving my body again. I've escaped my chamber of sloth where I just don't move.

And I've been trying to eat well. So body's been feeling good. I've been a little tired, but. If fine's a four, where are you now, you reckon? One more time? If fine is a four out of five is a four i would say i'm i'm at a six and growing we're like looking at the chart and we're we're hoping to see more growth in the future like a forecast hold on to the moon forecast to the moon hopefully today i'll do a little walk or a little run yesterday we had a meeting and i walked during the meeting and that,

and I was, and I went into the meeting mad, not mad at anybody, just like mad at the world. And, and so I was like, I knew I needed to like move my body, like to get some, some of the positive chemicals or whatever from that.

And at the end I was like, you know what? I'm still not amazing, but this did help. So I'm trying to, I'm trying to build that response to like oh well maybe i just take a walk and it sucks when it's so hot out because uh it's hard to like stay outside for very long um it's kind of a the arizona style hellhole out there yeah can we

double check real quick that frank Munoz lives in a. Oh, he's a Clippers fan. Oh, yeah. He moved to Scottsdale. But yeah, I wanted to read about. Yeah, he's a landlord. I just wanted to point out that he's like a big landlord or at least was because he bought a bunch of parking lots in downtown L.A. He talked about this on the Steve-O podcast.

I remember hearing that, and I was like, what? And it was when he was a kid, right? Yeah. His parents were like, hey, you should invest your money in parking lots. And then somebody else was like, well, isn't there something necessarily predatory about building a potential housing space? And he went, life is unfair. Malcolm and the Little theme song was,

was it? It wasn't Bare Naked Ladies. It was some popular band, though, wasn't it? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. Was it, they might be giants? Oh my God. You're right.

They might be giants. Yes. They are exactly the level of famous that makes sense go to they might be giants like like go to just type in they might you're not the boss you're not the boss you're i'm trying to find the key you're not the boss of me now oh they did the mickey mouse clubhouse there's so many bangers dude i used to listen clubhouse song is good i used to listen to when i was interning uh i would listen to uh they might be giants pandora and i've i've listened to so particle man particle man there was a whole tiny tune adventures episode based on their songs the mess up it's a means sargon hamarabi astrovana palin gilgamesh you know they put out an album for

babies yeah i hope they don't have any controversies i don't i hope they don't have any controversies because i unironically fuck with they might be giants heavy i i mean i don't know of any controversies and i think that they are like extremely like they started as like a punk band yeah but they just so happen to love science and stuff that's my favorite part and so they turn into like a kid-friendly band yeah the song like why does the sun shine oh my god the sun is a massive it's a gas a gigantic nuclear furnace where oxygen is something into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees. The sun is hot.

The sun is not a place that we should live. What? That's the lyrics to the song. No, seriously. I'm trying to channel Jarvis Lyrics Radio. Wait, can you pull up Why Does the Sun Shine? Genius lyrics.

This is for no one. The sun is hot. The sun is not a place where we could live. But here on earth, there'd be no life without the light it gives. This and like what is his name? Tom Tom Lehrer. There it is. He's 96 and

he's still alive? Let's fucking go. Get him on the show come on over tom tom come on the pod dm him yeah wait can we scroll down to tom lara songs uh oh yeah he has a song called the elements there's antimony arsenic aluminum selenium and oxygen, and nitrogen, and rhenium, and nickel, and iodimium, and neptunium, and germanium, and iron, and americene, and ruthenium, and uranium, and europium, and zirconium, and lutetium, and vanadium, and lanthanum, and osmium, and astenium, and radium, and gold, and arctenium, and indium, and gallium. This guy's the YM&M. And iodine, and thorium, and thulium, and thallium. He was the genetium.

And citrine, and terbium, and actinium, and rubidium, and boron, and gadolinium, and niobium, and urinium, and strontium, and silicon, and silver, and samarium, and business boron, and lithium, and beryllium, and barium. as i requested uh a recommended question there why did tom lara quit he's a thousand years old when are you allowed to quit literally he aged out of doing anything no way i'm getting to that. 96? Yeah, that sounds like a lot. My knee hurts now. It would fall off. I was just thinking about that. Like, there is a thing, like, we have a pretty young audience on the grand scheme of things. And it's interesting to think about how there is, like, so much life, like, health willing and circumstances willing, like, all of us could live to like three times our current age. Yeah. Or more or four.

Isn't it weird? Like, because, you know, every generation outlives the next, you know, scientifically. Yeah. Like on average. On average. But. And especially two generations back. We crushed it against the boomers. Or against the greatest generation.

I will note the thing about when you look at life expectancy from a while back, there's that thing where the numbers get really skewed because of infant mortality and people actually lived much longer than like we think because people are always like oh people in the 1600s lived to 30 or whatever but in reality it's just that childbirth was so

like risky that it made it past exactly if you made it past childhood then you probably lived like what would we we would still probably consider a relatively full life yeah but in general yeah people are getting quite old but yeah so there's a there's a chance that we will all live to be over a hundred i don't want to i don't know i'd rather not though i got stuff we are getting to a point where i've thought this for a long time where uh i kind of think that when i get older i'm gonna be able to play so many video games when i was younger um my aunt worked as an activity director at a nursing home and i spent a lot of time at this nursing home as a child and so i spent a lot of time like my aunt would like do bingo nights and things like that and i think if they

had halo oh dude they would i don't think i i think i would be doing land parties i i don't know if i'd be at bingo i think i'd be saying bingo headshot you know what i'm saying i would be yeah mocking an old man because i uh i'm the arb. I have a weird hitbox. How did it go, man? Oh, man. I'd be like, Ethel, your strafing is so bad. Work on that arthritis. Loser. Wow, not playing keyboard? Also, like, the sort of, this is a thing that, like, I don't,

there's more politics to discuss on this, but just the possibility of the like body computer connection and the brain computer connection and like the ability to kind of be able to who, who knows, but like if it becomes more accessible to like use your mind to control computers, then like our physical limitations even if your body is like exactly isn't working as well i could do a lot i can play a lot of runescape is what i'm saying i have and optimally if you keep your mind sharp you're just a brain

in a jar playing runescape install me into something where i can live out my last days chopping wood in in uh drain or i would like to be placed in some kind of cryo tube but in a long hallway next to uh other famous figures of podcasting like in futurama yeah i want marin to my left it's just his head in a jar and then my head next to reagan or something yeah nixon going i am not a crook and go like yeah i get it i fucking i seen it shit i saw a few drama that's basically it right in the past people would be like if you retire you die because you're just doing nothing and it's like we're never doing nothing right it's like everyone every gamer has a steam library that's full of 90% games that they bought and haven't played. It's full of 90% of games that I will eclipse my death.

I will not play those before I'm gone. If you add up the how long to beat times of every game, it's like a lifetime's worth of... Every humble bundle extends my lifetime. The library of Alexandria will be played out in humble bundles unplayed i would love to bird my steam library down to the ground and start fresh that would be ideal yeah i also think when i was a teen and i was watching like hank and john green videos uh thank god i watched those and not like shane dawson videos it was a very much like the a fork in the road i guess i was watching both that's awesome and you turned out okay well um but like but but specifically uh content aside the fact that they

were adults who were having fun in their lives and doing things that I still found interesting opened my world to the concept that adults could be interesting yeah and and fun I don't think I really understood because also when you're a kid the the the kayfabe the unreality of the internet and content creation and then especially fiction just feels like it's manifested by the universe. A movie comes out because of nature. I don't know. It just appears. Like a flower blooms much the same in Avengers sequel shall bloom as well.

There's another mid-season of The Mandalorian drops. It works exactly the same way. But then you kind of get a little bit of insight or a little bit of context or you meet somebody that works in the film industry or something right it's little and like a like language it uh it's gradually eroding it's it's not that you instantly learn everything and break the cliffs down you learn one word it elaborates into another word maybe you know it's little little drip feed and i feel, Wheezy Waiter was a really big one for me. Human beings. Craig.

Being like presented in, you know, slightly unreal fiction. Like this show is, we have a light, you know, it's not, nothing can ever be fully authentic. But seeing a little bit of authenticity in an edit, in content, kind of, I remember it briefly breaking my brain and going like, well, how is he able to, why does his chair make a chorus noise when he slides along? Why does it make an angelic, that doesn't make it. Oh, why? He's like a guy. He's like making something. Right.

And there's all this life that's happening in between these things coming out. And then I check back in and we see right at 10 years later and he has like children yeah i'm like oh it kept going it is unrelated and just like uh we were talking right before the show about a friend of yours who just kept going their career kept going right and it's like you know because it's like uh i've recently reconnected with like friends who i hadn't talked to in years because i was like i posted on my facebook and i was like hey if anybody has old magic cards from when we were kids i'm down to buy them because i like lost all mine from when i was a kid and that is the pool of people who are my age and like some of them i played magic with as a kid and so through

that i've like reconnected with some of my like friends from middle school who I haven't spoken to in ages. And it's so interesting to like catch up. One of my friends was somebody who we roomed together when we were interning back, like when we were still teenagers. And then we became adults and we still kept in touch a little bit but he like has a kid now and a family and he's like starting a company or whatever and he was like yeah i just like need to get rid of these magic cards because uh you know the wife will appreciate it and and i'm like that's really sweet uh but also give them to me. Also, get divorced. How dare she? No, it's like a priority thing that I totally understand.

But it's like so interesting that just like people like go off and like live their lives. What is it, Sonder? You know, when everybody you like walk past has like a life as infinitely complex as yours. There is a natural capacity of how many lives and how many circumstances i can keep spinning in my brain and not lives i'm responsible for like friends back in the uk that i grew up with i don't keep in touch with partially for logistical

reasons like time difference time difference and stuff you Yeah. Really long time since I saw, I mean, I didn't, I went pretty far away from my hometown to go to college. And I went very far away from my college to go to work. And I don't really, as much as I would like to maintain those connections, at least in like a,

out of curiosity, if nothing else, I feel like at this point, it's a little like making a new friend where something has to be taken out a little bit i'm going to spend less time doing something or seeing someone to add in this thing or person and i'm not against that but i do every now and then i was i'm late to replying to a group chat but it was about like which actually put that on my fucking tombstone i'm late to replying to a text uh it's about like a wedding date that they had

set up and they're getting married to someone they started date dating years after i last spoke to them and this is they're getting married in a place they moved years after right it's like you missed the you missed a few seasons of the show you but before the time skip but before you could even stream it so like i guess i'm just not gonna see that right i guess i'm just gonna have to pick up because they're not re-airing these episodes i can go on uh their facebook which is like the manga and i can read that and go like i'm kind of getting it read the like it's almost like reading the um the the episode summaries or whatever but then a name is in it and then it's and then clapping arrives oh i don't he wasn't in the other ones oh i don't

remember him after clapping's death oh wow guys i guess yeah i think that that also affects you know local friendships because it's hard to just keep in touch with people in general because of how much you're spending you know most people are spending their week days either in school or working so you see the people you see and keeping in touch with anyone who's like not directly in front of your face is like additional like work. And it's I think I very much value the friendships where we like don't chat for a few months and then we catch up and there's like equal enthusiasm on both sides to be like, hey, how's it going? Like, yeah, catch me up and not like you reached out that it does feel like over time the closest and most consistent friends are uh naturally kind of boiling down to people that don't feel offended yeah like resilient to that you just you just because i don't know how to solve the problem

otherwise yeah and you know it's not that i think i've had any like destructive falling outs with anyone because i we haven't maintained something but i don't know i feel like all the people i'm closest to are for want of a better phrase low maintenance sure because it's like uh and i you know i'd never want to be a flake i don't want to cancel plans out of like suddenly nowhere but if somebody does need to cancel plans with me or if i really really need to cancel plans with them i really try to emphasize that it's not a reflection on the care that i have right is the exact opposite of that that's why we had the plans to begin with there's a great um let me see if i can find this uh this is exactly what i

mean when i send the salute emoji beloved friend whatever friend, whatever plan you have in mind, count me in. I am there for the whole afternoon, day, night, whenever, a thousand times over. Of course, I am uneasy about the military symbolism, or should I be? But perhaps there is something important to it. Consider all the ways we entrust to each other our lives, in full knowledge of the power we necessarily have over each other, the ways in which people can undo each other our lives in full knowledge of the power we necessarily have over each other the ways in which people can undo each other we are brothers sisters comrades in arms to the ends of the world and to the end of the night i adore you that's what i feel when i send the salute emoji

somebody uh announcing maybe like the most profound news that they've ever given to a friend maybe something really really wonderful has happened uh i send the emoji where my eyes are really big and i'm like because that i mean i just don't have or sobbing to of excitement yeah it's just yeah i do think like the the semiotics of emojis is kind of like now it feels like i'm generationally locked in a way that is also terminology. Like I, I will only ever use certain emojis the way I do right now. And I don't think I can change that. Yeah.

I mean, I'm open to it, but I think that things like the thumbs up has felt passive aggressive for the entire time it's existed. I think like even when, um, Facebook messenger, uh,

added that big thumbs up that you could drop. I don't know if you remember that. Like that never felt great. It'd be like, all right, so we're like excited to see you this weekend. And then it'd be like, boom. Same with the like through dislike. Yeah, like a response. Because I think once there's a spectrum of options

and you elect to not do the biggest hot one, it is like, oh, what's that saved for? Ah, so you want me dead. You don't want to see me live to 96. Very well understood. It's not an indictment of you as a person if someone isn't reaching out. Going back to that Sondra thing,

it's like there's an infinite number of complexities and possibilities for like why someone isn't communicating and it's tempting to center it on yourself yeah but it yeah there's no reason it would be you versus anything yeah and i think that my anxiety does that all the time like i'm definitely not immune to the like do all my friends hate me type feeling and uh it's never been that and yet my anxiety is always like well maybe just this once it is i think i i used to get it with everyone now it is only with some people and it's like the state high stakes ones i think it's like like where it would be like oh this is something i don't want to lose because it's not it's not something i will ever have again in the way that i do like i'll worry i will worry about all of you hating me for doing something right especially javas i'll clean that up by the

way what i did over there yeah but uh i think potty trained at this age i was nervous weird it was weird bad shit it was great i couldn't my eyes. It was firmer than you'd think. Or my nose. Let me tell you. It's growing, weirdly. Don't want to get into that. I worry about those sometimes, but I feel like we are all fortunate enough at this point to have enough, like, friend friend infrastructure which at times in my life

for infrastructure is for infrastructure yeah for like to maybe lose track of and we got a handful of friends especially like other creative friends that we used to see mostly through like parties and stuff right and then variety of reasons fewer of that specific type of party yeah yeah it's going to start happening and i don't keep up with them as much but i don't think it has like resulted in negative relationships i'm doing a really bad job of maintaining the relationships of uh the people i was closest to before i had to leave the u.s i'm like recently had a one-on-one hangout with uh one of our friends and a very early guest on the show brigand uh we hung out and uh we hung out at a pool with his son yeah and i was just like oh it's this this right here is uh his son is now part of the friendship right even his husband isn't

necessarily like i'm good friends with his husband as well but i could i could be friends with james independent of brigand yeah i can't he is that that child is like uh yeah uh he's like what's that guy from uh uh ninja turtles with like a face in his chest it's like it's like a mech brigand is now a mech for his kid right and so it's it's it's lovely but now i'm like oh well now i i it's different to maintain this relationship because this is a person with limited time i want to dedicate as much as possible i want to be uh yeah i went to his house you know right because obviously there's logistics there it's hard to maintain those relationships because the you don't bump into each other yeah i don't think i've seen brigand since we went to

a jonas brothers concert last year uh but it was a highlight of my year that's true the show will bring it red light no comment who's the best jonas it is tough to say these days let me tell you um one of them does something i don't know a little bit there's like it's complicated it's like also become like a geopolitical statement now to pick a favorite jonas because uh uh because nick is dating priyanka chopra really or they're married and they have a child yeah i think they have a child and then and then when i was the saw the jonas brothers uh joe jonas was in the embroiled in a controversy about about uh he's recently broken

from sophie turner and uh and said like something really cryptic on stage where he was like no matter what you've heard don't believe it unless it comes from my fucking mouth I was like whoa anyway this is SOS this is an SOS on a second guess that sounds like a cry for help

I am second guessing actually a little bit and then Kevin is that his name? Kevin Jonas. How many of these little fuckers are there? Well, Kevin Jonas ghosted Danny Gonzalez back in the Vine days, and then Danny made a song about it, and it's a very funny song.

So I'd probably pick Kevin Jonas, especially because you'll never live down ghosting Danny that one time. Wait, how many Jonas? I thought there were three. So there's four? Because there's also Frankie Jonas, the bonus Jonas, who was a child when the Jonas Brothers had their initial blow up and now is an adult. They were all children, right?

Yeah, but there was like Frankie was like seven or something like that, and then they were like 15. So he was like the little one. The Dewey. Yeah, decimal system. He was the decimal. But the going to the concert experience was really good with Brigham. I mean, it is nice with a framing device.

And James plays Pokemon Go, and so we can exchange Pokemon Go memes. We are a creepy – I think we might be best friends, probably. Sorry, I don't know if you know this, but your toe is peeking out of your sock we and so ultimately someone will comment on it that's true this is like why i need to buy more expensive socks i think i buy the cheapest socks available and then they immediately deteriorate and then i need to yeah anyway well the issue i think the big issue with a degrading sock is that technically you've lost two socks in theory yeah your socks need to be matching they're soul bound the other one it's like a twin there's something on tiktok which is like you can't keep up how do you keep up with these my nephew's always talking about all this stuff and i'm like what's what's

being lit seriously yeah making a fire there is a whole discussion going on about how Gen Z doesn't wear no-show socks. Oh. You know what's funny? We were talking about object permanence earlier. I once wore no-show socks in a photograph, and I had Gen Z DMs that were asking me why i wasn't wearing socks and i was like damn y'all y'all need to you need to know that there's things that exist that you can't see if you because i do think sometimes especially like when i hear about tiktok trends like that um i know we talked about it last week for some reason, but it is a bit

of a one-sided rivalry where sometimes somebody will comment on a pic or a way I type or something and they'll be like, this is so millennial. And we're like, yeah, alright. I'll take your word for it. I don't think this...

I don't care. It seems like we're it's like is that okay i can keep i am one yeah i'm gonna keep doing that well and it's kind of like who cares which which to be fair is younger people that's who cares about any like things being assessed is like the worst thing that can happen what i learned, is that that's a thing that you say to your Gen Z friends. Also, what the, that this is such a millennial pose or whatever.

Oh yeah. And not just to actual millennials. Cause at first I was like, what is your problem? Like there, I, I thought it was just like, you're so old.

Stop being so old. For a while. People were calling actions boomer. You know what I mean? And it's still kind of going on. But it's like, it's not that the person is a boomer. It's that the way they are acting is very old. And I think the boomer reference is usually at least twins with something a bit more sinister.

It's like doing something, holding an opinion. It's like carrying away. Yeah. Whereas then being a millennial is more just like being unselfaware and cringe. Yeah. Which I do think, you know, I mean, we're talking about the fact that we may not even be a third through our life. But at the same time, like a little part of me is like i can't care i really really want to be maybe a bit more zeitgeist aware or whatever but if somebody

hits me up with i don't know if i suddenly found out that like my god you're seriously wearing that tint of jeans i'd be like this i just want to go play video games. I cannot involve myself in this conversation. And in this economy. And with woke Biden in office? I mean, seriously. She's, Kamala Biden is now saying she's black. So he's saying he's Kenyan and British. Or is he a podcaster? It's much like the legend rule in Magic the Gathering.

They're saying you've already got one of those in play. You have to sacrifice the other one. You can't make a copy of that. Unless it says it makes a copy that's not in legend. Speaking of race, let's watch this TV show. Actually, speaking of race, let's watch the video that I sent that I sent Jacob, and you'll see why in a second. Wow, we have so much race to talk about.

Let's watch this. Caption is come pick cotton with me. Hi, my name is Hannah Lee, and I'm a farmer. Come pick some cotton with me. Now I know what you're thinking. What on earth is she picking cotton for? If you wanted me to be quirky, I'd say it's in my DNA.

That is quirky. Dude, quirky. So, oh, that is random. XD, dude. XD random. If I wanted to describe it as... if I wanted to describe if I wanted to go a little socially awkward penguin

oh millennial moment dude I had to reference that shit this is gosh well now I guess I am I didn't know we still had to do it like this this is the thing where I first saw it I'm like what on god's green earth

is this but the truth of the matter is it's in my household and as someone who loves a cotton stuff mattress and a cotton stuff pillow and i'm getting low on both i had to go harvest some cotton but look at how gorgeous it is out here you cannot tell me i wasn't born to pick cotton stop doing stop doing it stop it no but don't do that I can tell you actually you know what I will say you were not born to pick cotton I'm comfortable saying that I'll double down

yeah I'll double down it is quirky what are you doing this for what audience is this for I'm running low on cotton mattress and running low on cotton mattress and running low this is like a what is it great i'm like is this in the like narasmith cinematic universe the like i'm building the thing from scratch because the dress is also giving homesteading trad wife stuff and i

don't even want to say trad wife because just homesteading stuff is like very popular on tiktok right now the joking about it is insane to me like the second reference in 30 seconds by the way uh to to like it's in my blood maybe i've been meant to pick god shut up i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say that often but maybe keep that to yourself it's a little uh minstrel well yeah what audience is this for because it's certainly not black people yeah because i don't feel good watching a black person pick cotton and go i guess it's in my blood yeah this is for like oh oh she's just sharing with white friends it feels like yeah if i was in middle school making a joke about being black and doing it that frequently is a middle to a

white audience to like be accepted it lands the first time and then you're like and maybe i'm bored for it do you remember when i said that before same same joke yeah a little kid keeps walking around telling so i think at this point i stopped watching and i unplugged my computer and i no it was uh 2 a.m and i just went to bed and i bookmarked it and i didn't want to send it to jacob because i felt it would be some sort of breach of uh our work relationship to send this to you at 2 a.m wake up emergency i do think that if she were like i'm picking cotton and look at how beautiful it is and like this is something i chose to do and i like to do it it's like there is an acknowledgement is fine i think there is an acknowledgement that i'd be like i would want to

stop those jokes at the zeroth moment. In before or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like, get that thought. Destroy that thought with laser beams. This is something that I enjoy doing because I like my pillow. And I don't want to, you know, police anybody. It's not like I don't want to make it illegal or whatever.

You can say whatever. But it is cringe. That is the part that's sticking with me more. It's like, yeah, okay, I get it. Yeah, okay, yeah. Little that's sticking with you more it's like yeah okay i get it yeah okay yeah little kid coming up at thanksgiving he's like did i tell you my knock-knock joke a couple times yep yeah yeah it's awesome and i love it every time but knock knock i'm leaving so okay so maybe this maybe there's some possible way that this uh wins me back because i have not seen the back half it's two minutes and we've only seen 30 seconds and

boy have we seen a lot. Boy, have we seen too much. Cotton doesn't degrade, right? You don't have to replace the cotton in your pillow. I think it just gets smushed. But also... But don't you like fluff a pillow for that reason?

Yeah, I think you can... You put even more cotton in endlessly. Also, don't people put like feathers in pillows to be like the fancy schmance? Yeah, but I think a lot of people don't like... Well, also, maybe she makes her mattress. Maybe she makes her pillow.

How long are you going to make a mattress? That's unusual. Yeah. What do you mean he's making these Casper mattresses out of a ghost? No, but seriously, guys. Okay. Wait, go back.

Is that her laughing? Oh my God. You cannot tell me I wasn't born to pick cotton. That is the most evil. That is the most fucking get out shit I've ever heard. That is the most like in the sunken place shit I've ever heard. The sound of the tea stirring. Also, I can't help but notice that there's a cut before the laughing so it feels even more premeditated

tell me i wasn't born to pick cotton anyway all jokes aside i have actually come to love the cotton picking process. I love my little bulbs and I cannot wait for them to produce more cotton. Look how cute they are. Now the fire ants were getting on to me. So I had to go. Just a little, just for a second, just a little quirky moment. Just a little, nah, nah. Imagine I did.

Remember? No, I'm playing. Okay. I'm just playing. But there's something to the process of getting home and... This is a Zuma girl race car bed. That aesthetic. I see what you mean.

That is Lightning McQueen for a 10-year-old. Same thing. When I see this, I'm like, no way you're de-seeding these on your bed i feel like you're just trying to show us your bed yeah stripping the cotton down that's just so calming i have my three buckets one for soapy water one for the seeds and one for my freshly picked cotton and this process is so relaxing i'm serious my husband is cute he came and bought me coffee we used freshly cut that by little stitch it you know i believe he bought you coffee but

you have to show him doing it even that one handed for him it's it's that's that's metaphor that's deep reading, the white hand of colonialism. Freshly ground coffee beans for the farm, and let me tell you, it's the best coffee you will ever taste in your life. I love being a farmer. I think there's just something so incredible about

getting back with nature. And speaking of nature, breastfeeding my child is going well. So props to all you moms who have breastfed. I'm at a year now and I'm so excited because I'm about to be able to get pregnant again. And I'm ready for another little baby boy, Lord willing. I'm going to try to get to bed at a decent time because it is Saturday and I have to go worship the Lord tomorrow. But thanks for coming along with me and enjoy your weekend.

It is very funny to go. I'm ready to worship the Lord. And the cut that is synced with that line is the TV playing Beauty and the Beast. I have to go worship the Lord. The Beast. I have to go worship the Lord and it's my Steam profile opening. I got to worship. I got to worship the lord and it's my steam profile opening i gotta worship i gotta worship to do

this is like it feels like a thousand like um trad wife dog whistles like i feel like i was hit with buckshot like trad wife dog whistles when she said another baby boy lord willing it's like you hate yourself this is wild this is you don't like women okay so this is another i guess trad wife account um and she has 850k subs or followers my bad and so cool and then it's what was this emoji is that a fish it's the emoji next to the can we zoom in i think it's a corn oh yeah oh it is corn didn't know it's corn or like a wheat or something or wheat yeah wheat from field to kitchen i do it all with a touch of humor oh we've heard the humor and a lot of white heart and a lot of white love and a whole lot of love uh yes and her profile pic is her holding her kid right what is that a little dilly goat for all the like i know when we talk about it when anybody talks about it they try and be pretty egalitarian and just be like

hey you know you can choose your lifestyle do whatever i don't know if i do feel that way about trad wife stuff i think there is something naturally sinister about it and i think there is and i feel as though trad wife is not just one part of a lifestyle spectrum that has always existed it is a relic of a specific time where and the term tradition especially in western american culture is typically used to refer to a time that actually did not exist mad men was never real that like world never actually took place that was just advertising but a bunch of guys with you know like uh the thinker is their profile picture and a youtube channel with 100 subs called like intellectually destroy or um the mindful thinker the mindful thinker for sure post like i miss days like this and it's the 40s ad for marlboro cigarettes and

bunch of people playing around and i i hey go for it i do think it's kind of bad i think it's a bad thing that it exists at all this makes me deeply uncomfortable i i also okay yeah let's go to the let's go to the original video and look at the comments. Born to pick cotton is a wild sentence after the DNA one. Absolutely. Girl, I love your sense of humor. The fact- What the fuck? Yeah, the one you're reading, that's crazy.

The fact you chose to do this with grace and beauty shows that times have really changed. What do you mean? If anything, I learned a lot from this video. You are free. Do they think the issue with slavery is that they were ungraceful? You are free. What is wrong with you? What?

If I start getting comments like this on my video i have a come to jesus moment and have a long think about what i'm putting out into the world and who is consuming it and why yeah it's like if this podcast if all our fans had tiki torches or something i'd be like we're doing something's wrong with the way that we're doing this and again this is not about picking cotton actually it's about the commentary upon it my grandmother picked cotton as a child and lost her shoe in a giant bundle and had to go shoeless all winter one year i've changed characters three times i cherish the story she told me all right right, cool story, bro. Dunya, I don't.

I have no interest in the metaphor. It's so interesting because... I'm so angry. It's like, I think that this comment, I don't know why they're sharing it online. I mean, that's Twitter, you know, in general. I don't know why this person is posting this, but, you know, yes, she can do it. I have no issue with her doing it. I just, my instinct when I read it is like, I don't know what you're telling me. Okay, let's go to her response.

So I posted a video of me yesterday picking cotton, and everybody's upset. Some people are saying it's because of the dark humor. Other people are saying it's because of the fact that I'm picking cotton. Dark humor is a funny choice of words. That's all I'll say. It's really dark. It's almost black. Y'all will literally rage about anything.

As someone who's been an influencer on the internet for quite some time, I have had outrage about every single choice I've ever made. From my hair, to the way I dress, to the person I marry, to how many kids I have. The list goes on and on and on. But I've learned that I just need to be 100 myself even if that doesn't fit the black stereotype well i do want to acknowledge up front yes those are all uh i'm sure criticisms that she gets and none of those are valid and they're all

based you know suitably on uh racist assumptions and like uh anti-race mixing yeah all that that's all shitty and understood i just think there is like uh so there's an argument to like i uh indulging a little bit in questionable tradition like wedding dress is a really good example there's uh questionable ethics in ordering something on Amazon. You need paper towels today. Just go ahead. Acknowledge it. Don't pretend it is. Don't argue with people online about the ethics of it.

Acknowledge that there's something iffy about it. Just fucking not do it. It doesn't end the world. There, I think, trad wife implications and trad core, not necessarily college core, though there is crossover, I think crosses over the line of

acknowledgement being enough it's a little it's in the same realm as like alpha male stuff where like okay look a lot of very lonely people are very lonely man if they find empowerment in that good i want people to feel empowered but not at the uh expense of say uh women not at the hate of queer people not at the indulgence in really toxic uh trad mask behaviors it's not the having a lifestyle you enjoy part that i find unsettling it's not the being a stay-at-home parent part that i find settling none of this in isolation is a problem to me it is the like self-identifying and they're only doing it to some extent but like they don't even know she used the term trad. So I'm not even describing her specifically, but I think trad as a tradition, it's your, I don't believe you when you say that it's just a look and anybody can live any way. I think if you're big into trad,

you kind of do think everyone should do it. What I'll say is that I, some like let people live their lives and you know they you know have agency and they can do whatever they want but I do think this whole like I'm a content creator and I know people take issue with anything I'm just being my authentic self I call bullshit on that because I think that if you are a content creator and you can't acknowledge that being fully authentic is impossible you're being obtuse because this content is edited. This content is by you, by you, you know,

it's like you've grown an audience. You, you like kind of think about what goes where and how things are presented. And so to act like, like I get what they're trying to say. I think when you, when you fail to acknowledge that anything that is content, especially like content

that you're profiting from can be cynically viewed as calculated is um i just think it's in bad faith like i think you can't actually believe that yeah or you're delusional if you do like it's content like as much as we try to be like i would say with this podcast we try to be like, I would say with this podcast, we try to be authentic, but like acknowledge that like, there's things that we cut out. There's times where like, we look stupid and we go, Jacob, can we take that out? And, and like, and there is like a, in every decision we make, it is inspired by our beliefs and thoughts and ways we want to like live our life. But we also like want the show to be commercially successful because we want to continue being able to do the show. It's like how the version of yourself you put forward to acquaintances is

always going to be a little less authentic than it is to friends, less authentic than it is to very close friends. It's just, it's work. And so try as we might to present the most authentic version of ourselves, we will always fall short of that goal because it is, something is lost in translation. Like when you set up a camera and hold a camera posture, aware of an out of frame. Yeah. By virtue of me thinking about my presentation on camera, technically that's already like not authentic to like how I am, but I still want to present a version of myself that is close to authentic.

And maybe this is the most authentic person ever to exist. And I'm completely wrong, but I've never seen an example of this pure authenticity. And I also think it's very unlikely that you separate cotton with a bucket of water on your bed i also don't demand it like it's okay you don't have to be authentic it doesn't have to be authentic you can be like this is a curated look at my life this is the problem with like instagram and like why people's like mental health you know uh uh like teenagers mental health is like uh severely impacted by by instagram because people are presenting uh at least historically i don't know what things are like today but i know it's not great uh they're presenting curated views into their life and they could say all day that

it's authentic but i think the nature of this content and the like nara smith type content is built off of like the perfection and the aesthetic it's and it's uh built to be optimal like yeah all right maybe it almost feels like anytime you hear oh well not everybody has to live life like this it's almost like a preemptive defense with a little bit of like but i'm kind of crushing it so yeah it's like the thing where it's like when you look at the people who are like doing aesthetic Instagram and it's like, okay, well this person, this is this person's business to do this. And, and it's an aspirational thing and not everybody can do it because not everybody

is a successful content creator whose literal job is to make everything perfect and curated and stuff. If you even just look at the clips in this video, it's like, here's me kissing my husband. She's not showing us having an argument with her husband. So, because some things have to stay private, right? And that's not, and maybe they've never had an argument ever, but like, I wouldn't want them to show it

because, and does that make it inauthentic? No, but like, let's not pretend that I'm just living my life and I'm just, there happens to be a little a little fly on the wall and you're seeing everything as it was and obviously all of this in isolation completely fine and frankly the right move when you are producing something that's why they don't show the behind the scenes during the avengers right there's nothing wrong with that the concept of making content or at least like we would be we we would be hypocritical to say that there's

something wrong with making content, but acknowledging the biases that are baked in and the narratives that are baked into making content. It's either knowingly obtuse or just completely naive. And I, I really, I, I think the moment it changes ethically for me, or at least like where, where it becomes questionable is as soon as you interface with the outside world as soon as you acknowledge comments and say like well people have been saying this you've broken the fiction now now you're a human being in the world and you're going to talk about the relationship you've been having with commenters i'm like okay well this is you can't you can't use this as evidence for any of this it's curated what are you doing don't be silly like robert downey jr doesn't say i fucking save the world you can't say that to me like no no don't do that

and it does feel i don't want to again rag on this person this is actually very broad i'm sure we're channeling frustrations with other yeah we're talking about everything as a as a whole including ourselves you know i i there's, sometimes I'll hear back clips from episode or something and I'll be not feel bad, but feel a little like, like notice that there's like something in my speaking cadence or, uh, anecdote or something where it does not feel like the authentic way that I

describe it in person, but that's, you know, the intent meeting delivery meeting, know there is like i think i find something very disingenuine about citing like obviously bullshit comments and interactions he's having like people say i shouldn't even be married to a white guy and it's like okay but that's not what we are talking so when there's a uh when something is popular on the internet you will find that there are a wealth of varying opinions

and not all of those are in good faith and i think that there is this like pseudo straw man argument because in a straw man it's like like no one's making that argument is usually the logical fallacy. But on the internet, you can find anyone technically making the argument. And then you can cherry pick the things that you respond to in order to create this perception that you are being victimized or targeted or that you are a victim or you're being unfairly criticized when like the reality of the situation is that most people are like down for the aesthetics or or most people are criticizing a completely different thing but then you say well yeah here it's like replying to at hope it's's not rage baiting. It's my life and

you just don't like it. Okay. Maybe you're not rage baiting, but if you've been on the internet for so many years and seen people get mad about so many things, then you can't tell me that you're, you're surprised that someone is upset when you make the cotton picking joke. There's a theory in documentary filmmaking. The moment you include a camera in the situation, you change the situation. Yeah. I mean, there's even quantum mechanical theory about that. You know, like the observer,

like the double slit experiment and stuff like that. But I mean, not that there's a corollary. I'm just saying that it is not surprising to me that when you put a camera, people behave differently. It's like, would half of these people who are clout farming on kick or whatever, and like being complete assholes in public, would they do that if there wasn't a camera? Absolutely not. And would they do that that much if there wasn't a financial incentive?

Yeah, because the value proposition is zero. It's like, make yourself public enemy number one, just for your own personal selfish amusement most people don't do that yeah but when they're you can become rich and famous off of you know uh throwing uh plush pokeballs at cars in japan and like going to the suicide forest or whatever then you understand that like you are farming uh no pun intended for engagement and and then obviously the severity that that's a logan paul reference for the record the uh the kind of that's always going to be the classic that's almost that's the uh meteorite killing the dinosaurs kind of level of like uh oh it's the catalyst for a bunch of people going like oh shit wait there has to be a line

again this video should exist the other video should exist none of these things should be wiped i think it's interesting and ultimately like it's not apocalyptic right but it is a good example of it's not a debate channel it's not a political streamer it's this is not a discourse person but when someone is questioned especially online the immediate instinct is the heckles go up and they go like well actually uh people have questioned whether i should be marrying my husband uh ipso facto straw man argument like yeah ad hominem in fact everyone defaults to defending themselves in the most disingenuous ways because that's just survival instinct right it's like the moment somebody like taps you on the shoulder, you just raise your fist.

Yeah. So you're saying I'm invalid. And it's like, well, no, actually. So you're weird. And it's more like your actions are strange. Yeah. And maybe I wouldn't do them, but I'm not saying that you should not exist

or you're invalid in how you are. But I do think that like the presentation is, for as authentic as it's claiming to be i think that that's uh a facade and and you know uh feel free to prove me wrong um but also you know it's like the issue i have is not with the existence of this content or this person it's with the crying out that you're not what you clearly are as a as the defense or that you're not playing the game when it's like i just don't believe you and that's fine you know maybe we can agree to disbelieve disagree and somebody i'm sure could take an objection with like a joke i've said or a word

i've used or something like that but the the difference would be as soon as that comes to me i i that is there's nothing to win here. Yeah. There is no victory. Either I changed my behavior or I don't, there is nothing to gain in the conflict aside from a more engagement, more views, blah, blah, blah,

blah. Again, fine, whatever. Or some kind of ideological fight that just doesn't matter at all. So when you say, I don't know why it's sticking with me so much or why it bothers me so much, but there's something annoys me about almost you utilizing like genuinely

awful statements and and like bigger uh socio-political issues like uh interracial marriage and uh breastfeeding and and things like this too obscure just like a cringy and shitty kind of like questionable thing because it almost trivializes all of those and goes like actually leaving a comment is just that's just that you're a racist that i just need to be 100 myself even if that doesn't fit the black stereotype. Neither of us fit the black stereotype. Maybe we fit the black nerd sub-stereotype. We fit the tech and playing. Yeah, there is a sub-section of black that we now fall into, the blurred sub-section. Born through RuneScape.

Yeah, but the thing is, I feel like that's level one of feedback. Sorry I'm not insert I feel like that's level one of feedback. Sorry, I don't fit. Sorry, I'm not like, insert stereotypical black name that no black person actually has. Sorry, I'm not a high jumping, gun slinging basketball player, okay? Well, well.

That's why it feels like middle school because those are the types of things like um every friend that i had who was a person of color that existed in like a um like a predominantly white space or while they were existing in a predominantly white space especially when you're that young there's it's very common to do like the self-deprecating identity jokes where it's like i guess my hair does feel like a sheep because i i'm surrounded and i'm afraid and i just want to fit in jordan adika at 13 years old through about 19 years old was peak just like oh well hello master right you're like the yeah i can'tle sketch character it is it was because it's easy

and it's in before it is also comforting to people it's like don't be nervous it's like I'm not I'm not dangerous

don't worry about it and also like hey don't there's something in the air you anytime you say like vinegar

you'll hesitate oh wait by the way no not that I would say that word look i'm just gonna say it right now and make it a thing and look now we're done and now we're all involved look now we're all on the same level and in you know in retrospect i think i've definitely told the story on the show before but that era stopped for me the moment someone identified me as like

you're the guy that always does like racist jokes right and it was not i mean by the time they said that that wasn't much the case but it was someone that i'd friend of a friend from years prior yeah and then i was you know 18 19 and they're like yeah back when we we used to like i don't know probably drink vodka at the park that was like the only hobby where i was from but you do that and uh they were just like yeah you always do like like race jokes and it's like oh who's this for because this is clearly it's it's boring to the extent where people have mentioned it to one another and i was kind of really only doing it for approval and now like when i got that feedback or that criticism, my instinct wasn't to just then be like, oh, you don't want me to fit in, huh? Yeah. It's like, oh, no, I was kind of doing this insincerely.

I think I definitely like in my life fall too far on the opposite end of the spectrum. But there's also this like rejection of valid feedback that comes not in the right package. Yeah. It's like, oh, if you didn't package this correctly, I'm going to take it as an attack and it's invalid even if... Like, for example, if I used a word that was like a slur for an underrepresented group and I didn't know that while doing it and... Especially it's like an antiquated term sure yeah and then and then someone uh if someone goes like hey by the way like this is a uh a word you shouldn't use for xyz reason

uh you can go oh wow thanks for letting me know blah blah but if if someone goes hey dipshit we don't use that word anymore it's's 2024. I it's like, okay, I don't like the packaging of that. And the packaging is going to make me, uh, want to feel defensive, but there is like a nugget of like actual critique in there that is actionable. And I think that online, there's not a lot of decorum. There's not a lot of like care. And a lot of the sort of messages and feedback you get are like rough around the edges. And often a person centering themselves just by virtue of like the internet. And so you could take that as like invalidating what they're saying and not see, I see this often, like it's like invalidating what they're

saying without seeing the spirit of like what people are saying on mass. Because the issue isn't about you like not fitting the black stereotype. Sure, there are going to be some people. But like it's like let's be real. Like do you really not know what people are upset about? Or like are you that naive? How is that the only thing you didn't mention actually? It's like the prestige. She's like look over here.

This is what you're actually upset about. And people are like, no, we were upset about that. I don't think you cut her in half. I think that was just like a box. She put her knees up with them. And that is a woman who loves farming, who loves having children, who has a really dry sense of humor. And loves a old vintage outfit and a pretty dress. In a world where people are forced to fit into a bubble or be politically correct all the time,

I thrive because I genuinely am just 100% myself. I've never once cared whether that flies on the internet. And so I continue to thrive in this chaos. If you genuinely want to get to know me, I would invite you to scroll through my social media and just look at a few of my posts. I'm very in-depth about who I am. And if you don't, just be like this baby. And if you don't like something, just keep moving. That sentiment is fine. It is very much like, watch me kiss this white man. The liberals are going to hate this. Look at this kiss to own

the libs. That's kind of what it felt like. It's not the libs that are going to be bothered by that. I think they'll be fine with it. Again, it's those little whistles. Even saying political correctness anymore. I know, even saying political correctness. It's like, okay, it's not 2010 anymore.

Yeah, political correctness as a term, it's never applied to like any broader actual issue. It's applied to when your granddad still wants to say colored. Yeah. So there's this one with 87,000 views that is like a, oh, it's pinned. That's interesting. Is that her scrolling through her own thing?

As someone who's huge on personal accountability and growth, I decided to review my cotton picking video to see if the jokes that I made really were geared towards the black community. No way. What do you mean see if they really were geared towards the black community was it supposed to be who were they who else could they be geared towards what is this they're slavery jokes about picking cotton is she trying i mean we'll okay yeah let's let's hear more but it sounds like she's trying to say i wasn wasn't talking about me being black. I was just talking about me being a farmer, me being, having a farmer in my blood. Yeah. Okay.

The laugh in that video says otherwise. The cut and then the laugh. Yeah. As I am a farmer who actually picks cotton. And as I listened to that voiceover, I heard the words I and me. And I realized that I did not say a single thing geared towards anyone besides myself. No, all I was saying was me specifically.

My specific DNA, independent of everyone and everything else, is what could that possibly have meant? And why did you laugh after? Because that's not a joke if you're not referring to something other than yourself. If you're not referring to people in the past, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything. Just own it. Like, that's kind of what we were saying. The only problem I have is like, you're contorting your logic in a way that's like so indefensible.

Like that just doesn't, what you're saying doesn't make any sense. I used I and me statements. Okay. You can say i come from a long line of clowns oh but but i wasn't talking about the past i wasn't talking about now when i said the long line is me when i said honk honk me and my crew come out of a tiny little car i was just referring to me my car and one person i'm a one person crew i'm not referring to any of the clowns from the past there's no stereo i'm not your stereotypical clown i squirt milk into my face instead of instead of a little

water god that was tough that was i was like seeing a video where someone's getting shot i felt like the lively going grammar is the final that's the coyote biting of its leg to get out of a trap which is like i didn't there's not technically the word that i said so you actually can't be annoyed with me because of the rules i will say i want to acknowledge like i have uh ascribed the term trad wife to her she's not necessarily saying it you can be pedantic if you want we i'm using it as a shorthand i'm sure she wouldn't necessarily object we could go look at her hashtags but there is uh it i actually have like kind of an object lesson in my mind right now which is that like um i'm sure it would be fine so we we had a friend of

us had a housewarming party a few weeks ago and uh we went there oh how's that track what trad wife's right in there look at that oh immediately called it i'm being too generous. Go ahead and click less. We went to Haslaming a couple of weeks ago, and I was standing with our friend Isaiah. We were all outside, be it Pongan or something or the other, and I noticed that me and Isaiah were stood against a bush that was producing at least a cotton-style fiber. And I remember I tapped Isaiah on the shoulder, and I just looked at it

and i raised my eyebrows and we laughed we had like a good laugh about it and then we like i think maybe you came over we went like of course and like the bit was a throwaway dark humor joke or whatever yeah but let's say i got criticism maybe let's just say that was recorded in some way and i got pushback on that i think my i think it's fine and what would probably happen is i would say nothing because i don't care but well if i was to defend myself i would defend myself with it's harmless who cares this is a harmless joke amongst people well most black people specifically because isaiah is black as well and the thing is dancing for anyone right it's like it's different if you said that to like a white person and you were like

haha right like remember punching down to your own identity to an audience of someone who does not have the same like background or like history or whatever that i mean that's the beginning and end of the statement like that's the beginning and end of the criticism and to engage with anything else that you're getting shitty comments about in the same breath i i just don't i think that's yeah insincere and dude i know it's my biases seeing the hashtag trad wife does not help but i am now there's just like probably suck like i just don't like it's almost like a bingo board or a checklist where it's like well yeah how much do i need this and this so you kind of make bingo yeah i'm in court and i'm doing you know what you're like looks like a duck quacks like a duck is a duck is a walking around as a duck says i'm talking about just me the duck i'm

not referring to other ducks there's wearing a sign that says that but it's quacking because it is a dog right i'm curious where she goes from here but since i happen to be a black woman the internet has decided to tell me what i can and can't joke about what i can and can't do because of the color of my skin okay people. People are not saying that you can't, but they're saying that it's cringe and bad. Yeah. That's another thing. That's such an online.

Cause the Norris Smith crowd kind of ends up doing it as well, where I'm just like, okay, look, you're online. People are allowed to make fun of you. There is a distinction between mocking, ripping,

bullying, and attacking. There's a range. And criticizing, I would say, in the first level. Maybe people are just criticizing you and not saying you can't do this, but just saying, I thought that was crazy. I was upset by it. Because at a certain point,'re like you have nearly 900 000 nearly a million followers you're not a small bean you know like it's like if you can't like just criticism comes with it and it's like everyone you will have like plenty plenty plenty white viewers that will go like oh they like joking about it i can joke about it with them they like doing that i thought they would upset i mean that's why why Dave Chappelle ended his show. And that's to bring him up, but you know.

And not to invoke. Yeah, I mean, well, Dave Chappelle ends his show because the wrong people were laughing, right? Yeah. And then he came back and said some very bad stuff. And then he took the same path that everyone does when they get criticism, is that they pivot extra hard to the people that will welcome them, which is typically the right. Even when she said the jokes, I may have even said, don't do that. And I'm not saying that as a you can or can't do this.

I'm saying as a come on. But then I also have said, you know, not as a joke that she's entitled to express herself however she wants but i i also think it's naive to uh not understand why or where the criticism is coming from it learning to take like to receive criticism it is a it's not a natural skill it is learned i mean like in my case i learned because in like a professional scenario that's where that yeah exactly feedback it if communicated well and there is like it's a gift it's a study feedback's a gift i think a lot of people are uh naturally reactionary to any kind of bad feeling and when you are never in an environment where you have to adapt you tend to i don't know like it's very easy to avoid negative feedback when there's no job on the line or there's no relationship on the line.

Where instead it's, well, I'm just going to cut off this friend or I'm just going to ignore that or I'm just going to distance myself or I'm just going to go into denial or I'm going to insulate myself in a culture or environment that agrees with me. My hug box but then once you i don't know once you actually like if you don't let that muscle atrophy and you do train the ability to receive feedback you will feel better you'll know when it's sincere you'll know what's valuable about it if anything and you'll know how to give it and encourage better delivery of it to you yeah as opposed to this like this is like uh if you got a cold and just you go like I'm just never going outside again I have to hide in here I won't hang out with anyone no no you just wear a mask on the train

there's something very similar to her response as that white woman who is saying the n-word the last white woman that said the n-word with the latest one won't be the last latest the latest the one who like immediately pivoted to grifter mode. Oh, yeah, dude.

That's the power. Where her apology was like, I found nothing to apologize about. This is like reminding me of that. I reviewed my statements and- Actually, your cringe. I never technically said that black people were subservient. I just heavily implied that I had it in my blood.

I just, I love that. Like, yeah, the, I've actually been looking at my statements and you're ugly and you suck. Yeah. This is like,

it's so, Hmm. So smarmy to me to be like, I even included captions and then like the smiling with the heart hearts emoji and a wink i even included captions like in the previous video she's like wow you're miscontorting my words and i included captions so you can't read and i'm like i'm like okay so probably for captions yeah i'm like okay so you're saying it's like so now we're making a literalist argument where it's like well technically i didn't say this thing even though i heavily implied that like if i say um

we're gonna take him out back i never said i was gonna harm him i said i was gonna take him to the back and the back is where i keep the fun house my collection of fun toys yeah oh okay all right oh so so really in a clown kick. Hong Kong. Yeah. That's where I keep all my juggling balls. And my bowling pins. I wanted to make them a balloon.

Okay. Big creators like Jackie Aina have stitched their videos just so, so that their audience will come on my page and spread it. But I've got news for y'all. I have never been anything but authentically myself. And I'm not going to change that because y'all want to make this narrative about race play and cosplay or whatever garbage that you're swallowing at this period of time. And you do not need to worry about my children because they are interracial. They will learn to appreciate both sides of the coin and learn not to take life too seriously. Because an occasional joke does not mean a lack of empathy.

So this is authentic to you? All this shit in front of a camera? maybe i am the most cynical person on earth but i don't believe the person who's like always like dress flowing in the wind like spinning around and like dipping her husband dipping her as they kiss in front of the camera best scenario they're boring yeah i'm like is that for real is so you're saying like that's authentic because damn that's annoying i was like you sound difficult to be around uh okay that's fine the joke is not in relation to you it's honestly none of your business every time i see her spinning around doing her like gone with the wind moment she's looking into the camera maybe maybe appreciate

the outdoors if you're so into that oh who, whoops, you caught me frolicking. Yeah. Oh, the hidden frolic cam caught me. It was hidden in a sunflower. Dude, it is. I get like, it's like, that is all fine until you're using it as evidence of authenticity. Yeah. And there's like, it's if suddenly, I don't know, I got in trouble for,

I like, shoved someone at a bar and then I played an episode for the cop and I'm like, but I'm pretty authentic. I'm just being myself. I know it's easy to get caught up

in the negativity when it's so loud, but to all my authentic followers, I genuinely appreciate you. I'm really proud of who I am and those of you who do not like me,

go fish. Because I'm going to be me regardless of public approval. And that's why I always will thrive. Okay. Go fish. I've never played go fish. What do you do when they say that? Is it you ask for the card?

You, like, grab some more cards from the top. Okay. So if you're not an authentic follower, you've got to get more videos. Was she making, like, go fuck yourself? Yeah. But she doesn't swear. Oh, no. a go fish because i feel like a very unnatural use of that go freaking gosh darn get out well i mean hey look nobody go tell this woman how to live um okie doke so that was that uh i have a, I have to,

I have to rant about Instagram. Okay. I need to complain about something about Instagram because I think it's very stupid and it's very dumb and it's very bad. Uh, and I'm biased cause it affects our show. If you type sad boys into the search bar on Instagram, it shows up with like help is available. Call this line.

And we have asked Instagram multiple times, Hey with like, help is available. Call this line. And we have asked Instagram multiple times, hey, like, I don't think this is like what you intend to happen because who on God's green earth is going through a rough time and then types in sad boys with a Z. In Instagram. On Instagram to seek help.

So Instagram has communicated to us that they can't get in the way of this feature because it's helping people. And I'm going to call bullshit because what is the difference between sad result being sad men, mental health quotes. Oh, okay. That seems like it could be helpful for someone. Sad man doesn't have an issue. Sad girl help is available. Interesting. I am sad. Maybe that's something that someone would actually type in when they're sad, not fucking sad boys.

Oh, well, sad boys is such a problem. Well, if sad boys is a problem, you should never be able to type in something like the sad boys, but it fucking works. You're stupid, fucking, just fix it. Adam Masseri, Mark Zuckerberg, fix your bullshit. You're not helping anyone with this. People can't find our show because who is it protecting?

Who is it protecting? That's my question. Because I think that a lot of these terms should be barred from searching in, if that is your goal. But specifically sad boys, there's so many things that you can fucking type in that that show up that shouldn't. If this is who you want to protect, it just doesn't make any sense. I'm not against. In fact, like our show is, you know, at least lightly about mental health. It's at least lightly about us ourselves being sad and us ourselves talking about our own experiences with our mental health. And so I just fail to understand how this is helpful. Also, you know, like sad boys pod that shows up. There's just so

many terms. I won't show it out of respect for not wanting to trigger anyone, but there are a number of phrases that someone might actually type if they are actually in mental trouble and having intense issues with their mental health. And a lot of those things you can search with no issue. Some of the things that you can type in and they just don't get flagged. I think that the problem is that there's like a bunch of red tape and none of these organizations are talking to one another. So it happens that they say, no, this is something that we can't change. We couldn't possibly get in the way of something that's helping people. But is it?

But it was a single quarters project to performatively provide mental health support. That's the annoying thing is this feels like a performance or maybe even a legal thing that someone told them they had to do. Oh, a little bit of setup. And it's not actually helping anyone. If someone can create a reasonable argument as to why sad boys with a Z. Oh, a little bit of setup. And it's not actually helping anyone. If someone can create a reasonable argument as to why sad boys with a Z. I'm not even asking like sad boy. I think this would bother us a lot less if it felt more sincere.

If it felt like you were actually doing anything. Because what is this? If you type in, I need help. A literal cry for help. A literal cry for help. Nothing comes up. So does that solve the problem? Because I feel like you should show the little pop up there. Maybe I'm just providing you with a little additional user research so you can find more terms to prevent people from searching for. type in boys sad everything works as intended so like what problem are you trying to solve that's that's my question because it feels like it's inconsistently enforced with whatever it is and it's embarrassing because instagram does not

have a good like a good track record with any of this stuff and you're not making the problem any better it's upsetting that if we were called the cry for help boys then this would then you would not have a problem searching for the thing you do like a cry for help meme that's one of the suggestions right there first first extension oh i think we should rename our podcast to the unalive voice that's fine that's fine it's as long as it's aligned with the rules i'm just saying i don't think you're helping and i would and i would like you to help us and you know it's like a thing where it's like we can maybe change the instagram handle but the issue is not actually with the handle itself it's with people not being with the handle itself. It's with

people not being able to type in our exact handle and getting to our show. The reason that our Instagram has been able to grow is because Instagram Reels are still able to flow through the algorithm. So wouldn't you want to suppress those if the title of the account was so dangerous and so needing to be sensitive, I never told someone the name of our podcast and them going, oh my God, are you okay? Jesus, help is available. It's strange that we have found

such a specific combination of words that even triggers the help is available thing because there's so many other things you could type. It feels like we had like a bank error in our disfavor. Man, it feels like if there wasn't this function at all, we've typed in things now that they should add. Crazy. Insane.

It keeps recommending cutesy ones. I think it's embarrassing from a company that that's like, it's just such a huge disconnect. And I know there's good people working at Instagram and everyone's just trying to do their job the best they can. And I am giving the most benefit of the doubt when I believe there is an interdepartmental communication issue here. This has been going on for more than a year and

nothing has changed. And I just think it's dumb and not helping anyone. Yeah. And in service of a very insincere product. And if you want to help people, we just came up with a bunch of terms that you can add go ahead throw those in please because it looks like you didn't try because you didn't type in any of the any like anything that actually seems like someone's crying for help yeah it seems like you implemented all the things you were able to brainstorm in the first 30 seconds and then i don't know got distracted or the first six seconds someone jangled some keys sad and that's it's like someone it's like the person tasked with typing out this list got distracted by the sad boys podcast and just typed in sad boys and now

that's the only term that triggers the help is available which thanks for listening seriously you know i hope you're also a patron patron.com. So ridiculous. Okay. That's my rant. That's a little shop fire. That's a public swing. Little spank. Get out of here.

Okay. Um, sorry. You had to see me like that. Uh, but we are going to, uh, we are going to have a very fun time,

uh, after the show over on our Patreon at patreon.com. You can subscribe to Sad Boys Nights, our premium Patreon podcast that you can access all of the episodes of for as little as $5 a month. Today, we got a couple things. So we're going to do a mailbag. We've got a bunch of mail to our PO box and we're going to open it for free on our page round. So you do not have to pay to see that.

And maybe your mail will be open, but that's free. Also free over there is episode one of our magic moment where we talk about magic, the gathering, who knows how many episodes that'll be, but we wanted to put it somewhere and we put it there for free. Sometimes the moment gets especially magical and it had to be acknowledged exactly and

uh and also we are going to be opening a bunch of snacks that we've we're going to be doing some taste tests of some snacky snackies and uh also talking about um some lost media stuff i don't know if y'all have heard about celebrity number six being discovered, but it's a cool mystery that has captivated my brain. Join us over there, at least for the network episode, because it's free. Come on down.

No obligation to sign up or anything, but if you want even just like an obnoxiously large amount of sad boys, you can sign up for that. Fancy. We end every episode of sad boys with a particular sign up for that if you fancy we end every episode of sad boys with a particular phrase we love you and we're sorry what we are looking at is kind of a like a random kitschy curtain like a window curtain the mystery revolves around who is that i have absolutely no idea it's one of an internet mystery that captivated

everybody for four years and i just i'm like jordan who's that tell me someone some user photoshopped the image to look more real oh they they colored it differently oh i see they did stuff to it to try and enhance They enhanced?