Sad Boyz - TikTok Has A Horny Chef Problem

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. Oh, I hit someone. Oh, no. Is there a Western appropriate greeting that you'd want to say to that person as you hit them? I was going to say, I mean, is there a Western apology? My mistake, man. Excuse me, miss. Oh, L.

I'm going to have to take that L. That L's for lasso. Oh, I hit you with that as well. That's crazy. That can't be real, right? Like in the old West, them using lasso. That seems so hard. I think it's a real skill.

God damn. And I think it's a special kind of rope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do it. It's like, I don and i think it's a special kind of leg yeah yeah they do it it's like i don't know if it's a special type of rope or a special type of knot or a special size of knot i don't know the physics but that shit's real um so we're doing a emergency pod record so we got to keep this tight we got to keep it quick we got to keep it snappy um you just got a haircut it looks so good thanks man um i that's charlie not telling you the barber uh i was gonna i'm gonna ask you for a um

recommendation after the show because i have to stop going to my barber because i kept going to them not my curly hair person they're wonderful but my barber where i just need to get cleaned up and get like a little little baby fade around the edges. They have been a problem for years and I keep going to them out of necessity because you have a hair emergency you've got to solve and you call up the person who can get you in quickly, even if they listen to Joe Rogan and believe in aliens. Do they listen live by any chance? No, but they did one time I went went in i noticed that they had a bunch of stickers and posters that were comics about aliens being snarky about how people don't think that they're real oh these guys don't even think we exist and it's like two like

bart simpson aliens like crossing their arms going back and forth yeah it's like it's a weird thing where it's like yeah and they don't think we're around and i believe in like the prospect of life like the fermi paradox sure it is interesting to me and i do believe that numbers wise it's got to be the case that there's intelligent life somewhere but i don't believe in like the um what's it the the gray um little men oh the like yeah humanoid sociable socialized ones from media the ones from all the hoaxes i don't believe in those guys you know that tiny little like stone one in like uh the mexican caucus that they revealed oh the yeah there's like um they immediately disproved it just like what if they were cute yeah what if we had a really cute alien there's a lot of that chibi gray where like people will pretend to um discover animals that don't exist and then an expert looks

in and they go oh you just put different animal bones together and pretended it was a fossil of an animal it's the only field science is the only field where you can't lie right because you could prove it there's it's so easy to lie about most things just get a different like i'm just working like finance or something like that though people don't we were talking about this before the show people don't look things up before they say them confidently and it comes off with the energy of um he doesn't know the sky is red that face when jarvis doesn't realize that um the earth is flat um okay yeah or even better yet uh saying it's something that's like verifiable immediately and not some kind of cultural conspiracy theory thing because one plus one

equals oh okay it's two oh dude who's is it terrence howard that has his own math it is yeah um i don't think one plus one is three i knew it was gonna come out um man before we get too deep into it we have a little bit of a promo boys moment oh yeah uh one for myself if i if i i do declare um i released some new merch recently one of one of it includes this new color block sweater which is very exciting another includes what jordan's wearing right there the new you know heavyweight t trying my best embroidery with the graphic on the back. I'm really proud of this stuff. And it's been in the works for a long time. And we announced it and completely underestimated demand and it immediately sold out. And I feel like most people didn't even know we launched it.

And that was not the intention. Normally selling out is great. And I'm really thankful for the support that everyone's given. But I did want everyone to get a chance to get it. So we are going to release pre-orders available now as you're reading this at, or as you're listening to this at Jarvis.store. And yeah, so you'll be able to get this stuff. It will ship with the production process having to start again. it's going to be cutting it close for the holidays so i do want to warn you up front but uh it's uh stuff i'm really proud of it's super high quality i personally always get compliments from friends that are just like i just like to wear this around this is my new favorite set and i think the the first color block is the most common merch i see in other is like peers i

know it's like uh i get nervous i'm like like my friend um but one one friend who i know won't mind to be calling about is my friend uh ruxin who is a yugioh youtuber he wears the color block all the time and i'm like i need to make new merch so i can send you clothes so that you have something else to wear are you okay are you okay uh yeah here's my new merch it's some stuff from unique low i got you so we're yeah for real this is it's a bunch of basics i fucking love a heavyweight tea me too i arrived in a tea because i went to the barber and i'm just like i wear something i don't want getting hair on yep black. Black tee. Not one of my faves. It's my going out tee, you know. Hey, I've- You look so good in a black tee, though.

I've got to go to the Apple store and not buy something. I need to do that. Oh, thank you, by the way. Yeah, you're my favorite guy in a black tee, let me just say. Fuck you. Fuck everyone else. I'm his favorite. Thanks, man.

But yeah, it's very comfy. That stuff's available. This is nice, too. And a bunch of stuff, yeah. Very tactile. And some stuff from our previous launch including that purple shirt that i love and i wear all the time is uh going to be restocking so stay tuned on jarvis.store maybe even some future surprises coming around the holidays and

black friday uh but definitely snap this stuff up before it goes away because it accidentally did go away and uh so it could happen it could happen again 100 of the time so far it has gone away um guys just remember it may or may not be available for christmas but it will be available with the code january 6th available in and i think we know where we'll be selling it there was no code in person store by the capital in the capital even no n. Nancy Pelosi's office. No license for that. Not a chance. We'll see. But on the second point

of Promo Boys, we have a giganormous announcement. Giganormous news, everyone. Sad Boys Live. We're doing a live show. A live show. It's a live show in person. I'm going to try and get that.

In audience. In a theater. Jordan might be there i gotta find it it's gonna be at dynasty typewriter at 4 p.m on december 3rd we're gonna have some special guests we can't announce them yet uh and you know them we're gonna leave a ticket link either on the screen or in the description if it's available but if you're in the los angeles area dynasty typewriter, Hayworth Theater, incredible venue. We're super privileged to be there, play around there.

And it's a 4 p.m. show. You know, you can still have your evening afterward, but it'll be a good time. And we'll be recording a live podcast that goes on the Patreon. We will do some weird stuff also. This is some stuff that we know everyone loves, some stuff with friends and some segments i'll say it there'll be friends there might be the screening of some of black white season finale that we have still not watched um yeah there's gonna be a lot of fun a lot of fun bits it's gonna be more of a variety show because of you know our podcast is pretty much us sitting on a couch so i don't know if people 200 people in the theater are going to want to watch us sit on the

couch they might but we're going to try to spice it up for you so you know tickets available at the link in the description the biggest sellable you will get to see jacob yes to see jacob jacob also if the tickets aren't announced by the time this episode comes out we will update this description with the link whenever that is true so the link will be in the description whenever it's available if the live show has happened and it's taking place in the future we will update the link yet again now it goes to like skibbity toilet yeah it goes to skibbity toilet episode 67 which is 67 part one which is the episode where the flying skibbities are fighting with um you know the cameraman sorry i could talk about skibby toilet lore all day and i

won't um but we will continue on with the show thank you for listening to promo boys yeah head through that's gonna be so fun i'm super stoked we can even talk about that briefly like since day one since the car ride that we had back from head gum studios yeah circa 2017 yes 2017 2018 podcast we've got to do a podcast we're doing podcast we're going to record soon first episode yeah we had a we're going to be doing it consistently you i've neither of us will move to a different city and then later different countries. Yeah, we didn't somehow at all manage to work out. This was in the era where I was sneaking into meetings that I wasn't supposed to be in for Patreon, pretending to be on Jordan's team. But before we get into that, we have a brief word from today's sponsor, Liquid IV.

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that I wasn't supposed to be in uh for patreon pretending to be on jordan's team uh but i knew stuff about patreon so i figure it was okay it was and it was fun too it was like it was kind of the catalyst i think for a year later us both yeah more la stuff but personally live show was always like the the confirmation that we have done it this is that also we're almost 100 episodes you know closing in on 100 which is a huge milestone considering how long ago we started this show yeah it's it's kind of a little slow hey good things take time we're like gravity falls We're like season two. They like didn't give them a schedule for the release.

So it was coming out like four episodes at a time. And then there'd be like a six month break. And then there'd be a few more episodes. We're kind of like that. I haven't seen Gravity Falls. Is it the same creator? Maybe I'm imagining this. Maybe the same creator is uh infinity train i actually

don't know and now the among us show i don't think so alex hirsch is the creator of gravity falls i think that might be the creator of infinity train which is great by the way shout outs to katie for for saying we were going to watch this and i said i don't know what that is and she says okay we're watching it right now it's in front of you oh shit look um what the hell is up how are you i'm good i just got so i've got my follow-up for my nose surgery tomorrow it's follow-up two i'm gonna put it back on i am breathe this is the breathing update i do do. I am able to breathe. It is still tough. Yeah, no shout out to breathing.

It is still a little tough and there's definitely still some junk going on upstairs. Not in my brain, but a little bit below, you know, you know, there's downstairs, there's upstairs.

We don't talk about the living room of the mind, which is the nasal bridge. The garage. So that I'm curious. I hope things are going okay. Seems like they are better than before. But I do hope that it improves from here. Because if it stopped here, I'd be a little bit like, dang, we got so close. Did they say that that tends to happen?

I believe so. Because without going into gross detail, without going into gross detail, there's just stuff that needs to clear out still just because of how things heal. Did you hear about what happened at the Bored Ape Convention? This is not a joke. No, I did not.

Okay. So Yuga Labs, which is, I think, the company that made the Bored Apes, they had a Bored Ape Convention, I think. The details, again, I'm not okay so Yuga Labs which is I think the company that made the Bored Apes they had a Bored Ape convention I think the details again I'm not the greatest on this but I did see some I did see some tweets and I saw some blue skies and I saw some people complaining

so at this venue they had a ton of neon lights and extended exposure to heavy like neon lights i think um you by the uv lights can cause temporary blindness skin burning and things like that really yeah apparently i don't know the degree i haven't seen the lights and so i don't know what happened is it exactly the the the the like the the light that's been transmitted into your eyes is creating that or like the chemical compound of a neon is just i don't fully know i think it's like something about

the light spectrum and then also the um extended exposure has like similar allegedly similar effects to like looking into the sun directly oh my god and so there are all these tweets of these google it i know google it one time that there are all these tweets about people who went to the board ape convention which again sounds like a joke but is a real thing that we're like hey is anybody having like a burning sensation in their eyes and we have some of the tweets. There's one that comes up immediately. It's like purple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But one of them, someone posted a video from the party.

It said not a single woman did the site. Oh, it must be because of the neon. So I'm going to, so there's a, might want to open in a new tab that Verge article. I'm going to read this. So this is from the board, and the board eight people are in are in damage control mode so this is a pr statement and it's so funny because or sorry

i don't want to laugh at these people's physical pain and trauma um i'm laughing at the first word of this tweet i do believe the symptoms are temporary and i pray and hope that everyone who is affected actually does uh uh you know get better soon but the absurdity of this pr statement that is damage control because they clearly have fucked up and everyone's calling them out about it so this is more this is more the corporate arm trying to communicate uh as carefully as possible and here's how it goes. Apes. That's crazy. I know. Apes, we are aware of eye-related issues

that affected some of the attendees at ApeFest and have been proactively reaching out to individuals since yesterday to try and find potential root causes. Based on our estimates, we believe that much less than 1% of those, by the way, too many percents, 1 in 100 is

still too many if one in 100 people who ate cheerios developed a third arm i think we would all be questioning that i would probably i would either definitely eat cheerios or not do it yeah effective the arm is um yeah if you go full mcchamp maybe i'd be into it um we oh yeah while nearly everyone has indicated that their symptoms have improved we encourage anyone who feels them to seek medical attention just in case but then there's a community note during ape fest attendees suffered from unprotected exposure to uv lights leading to skin and eye injuries such as sunburn eye pain and temporary blindness which is crazy like there are tweets of people who are waking up and they go i woke up this morning and i could not see nuts which is i know the some of the comment some of the

replies are fucked up it's bad um i hope the people don't have any long-term issues. I mean, you can tell. But the negligence is remarkable. I mean, the tweet was so avoidant. What was it? It was like, something happened. Who knows? All we know is that only one in 100. It's like, how many people went to ApeFest?

I don't know. Well, aren't UV lights the ones they use in tanning beds? Yeah. And people wear like eye goggles. Yeah, to not be blinded. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God.

So everyone was just dancing in a room-sized tanning bed. Were they even dancing? Was it a, I don't know if it was like a sit-down or a- What do you do? I don't know what you do. I'm sure there's panels just being like disruptive Web3 production. Yeah. And also when I first saw it, Bored A when the nft dialogue was starting i was just sort of under the impression of like oh this is an example of like one of the kind of shittier ones but i'm interested to see i guess

this will go somewhere yeah they are the only survivor from the battle did they really survive i mean yes but like the price has cratered. Their soul did not survive. And their eyes were blinded in a way. There's a crazy story that I don't think we were. We're not really on the crypto beat with this podcast. But, you know, I see these stories like there's a story about how Seth Green had a had an NFT show that was based on his board ape that he bought. Because the whole thing is you own the IP. It was cheers, but all the characters are board apes. And then someone hacked him and on his board ape that he bought because the whole thing is you own the ip it was cheers but all the characters are board apes and then someone hacked him and stole his board ape and then he had to cancel the show oh he tried to take legal action which is the

point you can't do that dude uh imagine if someone just hacked seth mcfarland and stole brian and you just couldn't make family. Yeah. Cause you don't have the license. It's like wild that if you had just drawn it yourself, you would have been in better. If yeah, that's wild, dude.

Um, Oh wow. Okay. Well, several photos of the state. That's nuts, dude. Oh my God.

Well, yeah. Oh my God. Looking at a photo of the stage that that's like how they torture people in guantanamo that is some cia black site torture lighting apologies for using that exact spectrum of lighting at the sad boys live show it was we i've already bought it so what i'm gonna buy lights or something i already gonna get a philips hue and i've already spent the money on some amazon neon i mean that's kind of that's kind of what the yuga lab statement

sounded like was uh what i mean it's like such a giveaway to be like look not that many people were affected just less than one percent what's the smallest sounding number 0.999% of people. Some people. Yeah. It stinked. Sorry, my B, gamers. They didn't even say my B. They didn't even say it. Yeah, there's no apology.

Look out. Wow. They're just like, just in case we're taking proactive action. We're the good guys. We're on top of it. I was a car that I was in crashed and i was drunk i apologize for that right look i do not apologize i should say yeah look out for the car it's an officer involved shooting yeah um oh hey look somebody's uh somebody posted the kevin james

pick aka jacob's halloween costume jacob was oh my god jacob had the best hopefully we can show a picture Jacob up to you it was Pog Jacob was Kevin James meme from uh from the internet for Halloween Queens I guess and uh and it was awesome we had a Halloween party which went over great um it was hosted by the the trio of myself Eddie Bur Burback, and Chrissy. The Holy Trinity. Cribblies. The Triforce. The Triforce.

Chrissy killed it. Chrissy always does the cocktails and the charcuterie boards and stuff. And everyone was complimenting it. Chrissy specializes in making big jugs of cocktails for me to drink most of and then remember the next day that i can only drink beer now there is nothing else that doesn't make me feel really bad uh we had a good showing of friends who came out and uh also we've gotten shouted out on two podcasts about this halloween party oh yeah one of which is whine about it um so shout out to cutie and maya and uh cutie uh was one of the people who complimented um chrissy which is kind of like

two legends kind of like we're saying respect to one another iron man respect to captain america yeah exactly they like salute they like yeah um they're like we both served our time. We both saved the world. Thank you for our service. And the other podcast that mentioned it was a little podcast called The Yard. Now, The Yard Boys. Little because they are. The little. You're tiny.

No, just kidding. We invited all The Yard Boys. And I got sent a clip by our editor, Austin. And the clip was of Ludwig mentioning, you know, guest of the pod, Ludwig, mentioning the party just in passing, I think. And then Slime goes, not invited you know because i actually was one of the one of the few of us who reached out to him i don't know how he knew this but he was he was one of the few people who reached out to me after my surgery of internet like of not like you know super close people uh reached out to him after his nose surgery and asked how the nose was doing which is true he said how's the schnoz which is a very nice way of asking that question that's just like that's

um and so you know the next minute or so was slime being upset that he wasn't invited to the party and i saw this and immediately rushed to twitter dms to apologize. I was like, where can I hit you up? Immediately rushed to apologize. I apologized profusely. And then I scroll up. I scroll up. Draw the katana. And notice that I did invite Slime.

Counter-strike. Call me Valve. So check your DMs harder next time, next time slime maybe stop sitting in the yard all the time get to your computer yeah you're always welcome in my home come on the pod we like you hey you're a good man it's an easy mistake to make you're sweeter than people think okay people you've got such a hard edge on the internet. Yet so much heart. You're such a nice guy. You nice bastard. You little jerk.

You jack off. So anyway, shout out to those guys. Check out their show. Check out their small podcast called The Yard. How are you doing? Oh, hey. I'm good. I guess it's because i was already up and

about and doing stuff so my my body was moving but i like this impromptu record i'm super glad you because uh we had a kind of crazy our schedule is wacky and wild right now and for some of the reasons that we've discussed on the previous podcast and uh also i previously our live show was scheduled for november and then some circumstances occurred and um i was like i've been having a really bad mental health time and so i was like you know what i'm gonna take a little trip and so i went to mexico so i just got back yesterday so i didn't think we were gonna have time to record did you go to regular mexico or the one from movies where it's yellow uh yeah strangely dude i don't know if they put like a weird uv light on everything everyone blinds me they put like uh those gamer

glasses the gunner glasses or whatever that are like yellow um yeah they weren't blue blockers no but uh i can talk about that in a sec but i'm i'm super glad we were able to get this pod done yeah i don't um part of me is i don't know if i should have i pushed my flight back a day because i'm not afraid to share it's kind of you know it's whatever going back to Going back for the funeral ceremony and done all the planning. It's officially done. This will probably, because we're reaching a stage with visa application, but this is also a part of it, be my last trip back to England. For outside of other visa circumstances, at least a year. Wow. which is uh it didn't used to be abnormal

i used to be going to the uk you know a couple years at a time but the last year i've been you know flying at least every two or three months right for various and then before that you were trapped there and i lived there also and then about five years prior to that i also lived there my whole life oh so that explains the way you are my behavior you're bridgerton ass yeah hey you want to hear some racism i don't think i look like the guy from bridgerton you know who does is everyone in every white friend i have oh the guy from the guy that people liked from like season one that then didn't renew his contract yeah the light skin the brown i do hate that like yeah that's him there is a thing where people think all light skin people look alike and that is a quote that i stole from jabuki young white

uh who the way that we met was because someone asked him on Instagram, why do you look like Jarvis Johnson? And his retort was exactly that. Yeah. Yeah. Hey man. Shout out to those white people. They're all very well-intentioned.

They will pay for this. Like slime, I will counter and effortlessly defeat them. Single slice. But yes. uh you were saying that yeah going back i didn't know whether i should post because it's weird to fly so close to it but i just needed a little bit of prep time i did a haircut because it looked insane for that i mean look that's speech extremely valid uh but yeah as a result we didn't have to we were going to delay it and maybe a guest episode like

you and a guest and me back in the uk not what a deranged way to phrase that simple idea i just did the the answer the thing i was supposed to say was just you were going to do an episode with a friend and which i couldn't we're gonna have a guest host and so what i said i think was closer to you were going to the guest was on the bin the time the wedding there we were just reviewing a gold video before this that's coming out soon and um my note was hey uh cut me not being able to form a sentence maybe don't show this to the audience I'm supposed to sound cool and quick I wish that was uh especially like when I first, first did ads for my channel, however, you know, a year ago too, I wish there was, we could just release the unedited versions

because it really highlights that I don't have reading comprehension. That I have reading comprehension of like a baby because I would just, the sentence would just be, hey, make sure to check out this product. And I'd be like, hey, the product is now. Don't even being online without it yes don't even be online without i actually does i want the product yeah for what it's worth uh no i had that um experience recently because austin put out a short um austin does our shorts

austin put out a short that had me doing what i'm doing right now where i'm like thinking before i say every word and someone was like i love that jarvis seems like he's loading before every word and i'm like that's just because my brain doesn't work i feel like at a certain point in life i started to think slower and it fucked me up and now i can't speak as quickly as i once did i think it's tact also true sometimes i do try to be more tactful being i remember of i mean actually you probably see it on old old old sad boys episodes like circa 2018 or whatever we did the first video ones yeah i used to speak a little bit more manically when performing because i was nervous of seeming a little slow or ineffectual but still sometimes if i'm a little too messy

i will compensate for tiredness or slowness by running a sentence off my brain before i know what it's going to be and i think that is a especially professionally a very bad habit that i received feedback on when i was first working at patreon you know especially since my job was chanting on the phone and stuff like that, gabbing with the gals. Right. And it's hard not to do it because people don't like awkward silence. People don't like feeling, as I say, ineffectual. But even right now, as I'm thinking of the words, I do know the theme of what I want to say. I know the result of what I want to say.

And I was so bad for so long, especially even in like streams you just start with a well i hope this becomes a joke you know i've started already i think a lot of people will relate to this because there is an adhd thing not everything boils down to adhd by the way but i when it is appropriate i will call it out where we speak like before we finish thinking like of what we're going to say and i think that me slowing down sometimes is trying to make sure i land the plane where i'm intending it to go so instead of going like if like my it's like my starting point is here and the point i want to make is here i think a lot of people can just draw a straight line. Sure. I cannot do that. So I used to do like this where I would just like go on a little tangent and then eventually get to the point.

Now I'm trying to be a little bit more intentional, but that's resulting in me having to pause a lot. So it just is more of a stutter. It's buffering. To get to the point. And it is buffering. It's like I have never considered you like that. So maybe that's more a case of just it's something that i'm sensitive to because i don't know if i just started noticing it and it's

always been like this or if something changed but i stopped being able to like immediately get to what i was going for and it was very frustrating one thing that i think might contribute to that for people that work on a mic for a living and i think is what some people might be picking up on is most people michael know um and are and a lot to fill the space that we just i there are old episodes or old videos or old things that appear on my very first episodes of the dnd show i used to do yeah devastating how much i was saying um while like you enter the um fucking the tavern and you are getting there's a smell in defense of um i am a big ummer to this day and i know it because i have to review my speech all the time people like it because it feels more approachable and casual which is true it is how people actually

speak so that's my my little my little defense for it but i have all these canned phrases that i say i say you know what i'm saying too much yeah and it pisses me off you don't say um too much is it different on mic maybe because i you haven't said it in a damn while you know maybe it depends on the brain energy of the day and then sometimes it'll be if i'm trying to make a joke or i'm trying to make a point on stream on stream i think it could be pretty bad but right now I'm not doing it because I'm being very aware. This entire conversation, I've been very aware of all the words.

I'm a little nervous about, weirdly, I'm not nervous about anything else about the trip. I'm ready nervous about anything else about the trip. I'm ready to do it. We're in a very comfortable place. We've done our morning. Now it is kind of nice. We're doing like a celebration and we don't wear black clothes, not doing that kind of funeral.

That's not what my mom would have wanted. It'll be nice. You know, it's like just dress up, colors, whatever. colors whatever and the only thing i'm nervous about whenever i go back to the uk is that when people know that i live in the us and it's only when they know they are sniping for terms and phrases terms and phrases i've said my whole life right if if i say awesome which everyone my age says in english they will just be like oh so you've been in america a little bit too long my my uncle once once said like i bottled water i was like carrying a bottle of water and he was like that's very american of you very california to carry a bottle of water

i think uh instead of in your hands from the river some of our younger audience i've noticed this tendency and it's fine it's cool but i have noticed a tendency where people will pick up any behavior that you do and go such a millennial blank yeah pathologize it into something bigger than because if it was if it was like your friend doing that you wouldn't have said that you i'm a millennial that's just everything i do is a millennial blank and you caught me because it's so funny because um like oh that was a millennial zoom that's a millennial filter i'm like all right what's with this 2000s ass filter you mean when i grew up and the things i was in right the yeah the film grain on the actual film photo i've taken from my childhood someone from like a parent's age being criticized for

listening to like the beatles yeah i'm kind of old but it's it's fine it's just interesting and also your time will come um and that is a threat approaching that is a threat gen alpha is here skibbity toilet watchers are here extreme poggers baby grong riz i do love that though that gen z is having this experience of um being made fun of by gen alpha it's kind of what happened to the british like five years ago there was this sudden moment where everybody just started making fun of people being british which i couldn't have supported more right it's revenge yeah yeah it's recompense for you know thousands of years yeah that's that is funny the thing that i'm i need to stop before i'm back because this is what i guess night for the most and this is fair

is like opening sentences with like i do sometimes i'm like text fuck me sometimes i'm texting someone and i realized that the last three texts have started with like that's me with haha i really want people to know that everything's fine and everything's chill haha no worries what's the worst haha but what if um just playing are you pissed i'm not haha i didn't pay my taxes this year l for me haha i'm being arrested what's up irs haha yeah do you uh do you have any particular language that if you see it in a text, whether the person is pissed or not is like a panic, panic inducer, like a period at the end.

I don't get period at the, I don't get concerned about periods at the end so much, but if I am sending a lot of texts and the person is replying to me with like one word answers, I'm like, what are we doing here? What's the problem? And then if they say there's not a problem,

you're lying. You're lying through your teeth and you know it. I reject it. I reject it. Someone's at the entryway doorbell. Filzies. Oh yeah. That hits the freaking spot, dude. Let's watch our language.

That hits the heckin' spot, bro. That hits the freaking spot, dude. Let's watch your language. That hits the hecking spot, bro. Were you allowed to swear as a kid? I don't think so. I wasn't really parented. I mean, like, until when my mom passed away, it was like my aunt was watching me, and she would just make me angel hair pasta or, like, banquet buffalo chicken tenders in the oven, hand them to me, and then go into a room and then i wouldn't see her there is something weird i can't remember who uh me and ethan were

talking about a someone the other day not someone we know especially well but someone with just like a very different background a very traditional kind of nuclear household background it's odd hearing them talk about a schedule like yeah when i was growing up we would you know this is monday and then this is tuesday i'm just like dude what the fuck there's a certain degree of jealousy like am i gonna go to school i don't know if i want to do that that was that was me i would like i would i would definitely have to go to school because i was like that was where it was like hands-on my aunt was getting ready for work and she would take me to school oh shoot that that'll do it because we all walked so i just would not but after like it was i was i walked home uh no one was getting home for a couple hours

i didn't get into any trouble because i'm just a like a indoor kid i'm just like a weird little um nerd so that's before we became jokes yeah and i actually really wanted to play a sport but i was afraid of performing in front of other people oh that's an interesting kind of performance being yeah and i was afraid of being, I heard people had to get naked in the locker room and stuff. And I was afraid of that as well. There was always a part of me that was like made a little uncomfortable with how horny so much of that shit is. Like however you want to compartmentalize it or whatever. A lot of spanking, touching, nudity. I'm like, this has nothing to do with my sexual preferences.

This is just, I don't want to do, I'm a child and I'm at school. Yep. I don't want this. This feels weird. Eep. I don't even want to get changed in front of other people, darling. Why? With underwear on.

Let me play in my jeans. In college, there was like communal showers, but there were like dividers and stuff. So you didn't have to see other people. But still, it felt too close for comfort. Like- Why am I in jail? It felt too close for comfort. And I feel like I am a person who will just suck it up

and deal for the most part, but- If I'm in the circumstances then yeah. Yeah, but I'm like, I want to hold space for people who are not okay with that. And I feel like those environments don't. I feel like you're just made fun of. Or I think you just have to take your own precautions, which sucks. I wish it was just, you know, you didn't have to risk seeing people naked and stuff. It's such an easy solution to a problem that plenty of people

to a problem a lot of people would have with right uh speaking of unnecessarily sexualized a so eddie our good friend eddie burback tweeted one of our favorite topics recently which is horny chefs so we thought this would be a great opportunity to look back into the world of horny chefs we did it when chad chad was here and i think she insisted she was like this is i'm too excited about this i think we should yeah take another peek into how they've evolved for those who aren't familiar with the topic of horny chefs it's essentially chefs on tiktok who it's exactly what it sounds like. They're horny, man.

They're very talented chefs almost always, but they're cutting videos of them preparing food in the most egregiously sexual way possible. They're very talented chefs and they're even more talented Rizzlers. They're also often jacked, which I think helps. They are often jacked. Oh, also, it was Drew's birthday around Halloween. It was the day before Halloween, I think. Thank you for your service, Drew. We got him a little cake and there's a little photo of Eddie and Drew in my living room uh he got a cake saying 300 that i threw away today uh which is because i just took a little trip and i just got back and i realized that the cake was still in the fridge so it had

to go he was extremely upset about us implying that he was very old what am i saying i'm lying drew ate the cake in one bite he's so, he needed all the calories for his vampire body. The photo rocks because it is just him dressed as Woody from Toy Story. One thing about Eddie's costume is he's dressed as Peter Griffin, but Eddie wears tucked in shirts anyway. So it looks like he's the parent to drew eddie's costume was sexy peter griffin which eddie already is sexy so like he just put on a white shirt and some circular glasses and i'm like yeah we knew you were sexy if he shaved his mustache that would be it would be more impressive if you were regular peter griffin not a hot version excuse you actually um you rat i'm just i'm just making fun we love eddie

we'll get him next time um all right oh yeah but eddie's tweet said what if i told you the video of the guy sniffing, slapping, and licking dough in his kitchen ends up with a Jack Skellington donut? Oh, spooky. Ew. Ew. I like the shot of just his veins yeah oh that's another thing about

pretty much all of these guys extremely vascular like like bone muscle and vein is the only thing in every arm there is no skin their body fat percentage is negative nine

yeah they are There is no skin. No, their body fat percentage is negative nine. Yeah. Is there? Yeah, they are. They are a skeleton with muscle on top. They are like what I drew Dragon Ball Z characters as just like all muscles. Yeah.

Like muscles where they don't belong. They're not anatomically correct. Oh, so, oh, you ruined the egg when people are like how is it horny you show them show them taking the little cracks and like running their finger to it yeah you show them sniffing the dough anybody that says how is this horny is why the how do you cook what are you doing any of this hold on hold on let him cook oh allow him to jack let him cook do you cook? Are you doing any of this? Hold on. Let him cook. Allow him to jack it up. Let him cook. Do you think that...

I mean, there's people... There's people jacking up. Oh, for sure. What if you came over to your friend's house and they were like, Oh, you want to watch some cooking videos? I really like this guy for his recipes. And they don't realize that it's because they're turned on. And they think it's going to be binging with Babish.

And they're like, no, no, no. No, it's like a... He makes jerking with Jeremy. Whacking with Wade. What is this guy's name? Does it even say? Do you want to guess this guy's name? Do you use his real name? it's like oh absolutely not i hope yeah um and don't look at the screen he actually is on there

he feels like a mark okay um um elegance what if i told you his name was donut daddy that's better that's close to mark maybe that is real name um he has legal names mark but is his name is anthony randello john oh we've got to finish this clip before we look at his actual account so he's fingering the eggs yeah don't do that you ruined the egg wait wait don't bite the apple i need that for the meal you're supposed to be cooking the was that just him having a snack he just had a little snack he got he's like this all this horny posting is exhausting the music cuts and he just bites a kind bar he like asks his mom if she has a snack in her purse and she like brings out a a kind bar and

he's like no no no he wants the gummies, the Welch's gummies. Do you have a raw egg I can crush with my thumb? Yes, I do. Oh, no. Do you have an apple that I can eat while humping? You could just have the rest. Wait, the chocolate wobble. Why did he wobble the chocolate mix?

It looks like it's nervous. Oh, no. Don't cook me. I don't want to be on camera. I don't know what to do with my hands. Also, I don't know if you clocked that. He is wearing a shirt. For a while.

For now. It's almost exactly the halfway point hold up and now it's off they're playing sweet dreams the sweet dreams are made of this um and uh except for it's the slowed down version like like you would hear in like a Jordan Peele trailer. But then like this song slowed down, turns horny. Where it's like, some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you. Yeah. Some of them want to jiggle your chocolate.

Girl, can I jiggle your chocolate girl can i jiggle your chocolate my butt dough oh wait isn't butt dough a thing we've said before but jacob you that's like a phrase you know when you know two words have gone together before yeah why is that in the previous horny video yeah horny hmm this is more about was it donut daddy that we talked about before? Maybe. It could have been one of them. Did we talk about Donut Daddy and Say But Do all in one? Are we? Does free will exist? Have I just gotten a haircut?

Yeah. Wait a minute. Stop slapping stuff, dude. Oh, man. Well, yeah. They ruined the donut donut he licked it ew he's like well i mean tis the season oh this i know this is a weird thing to be bothered by and maybe people i mean they've already seen it if they're watching live the one of them just like tricking my trick to phobia oh yeah the whole stuff yeah i don't like the gushing i don't know if i love gut maybe gushing is something i don't like there's um

i i i'm investigating what my like right this is like repulsive to me i'm supposed to just like oh this isn't for me whatever it's because i personally i'm'm pretty germaphobic, right? But when it comes to food, I'm pretty like cleanliness focused. I very rarely want to eat something without like, you know, like if it's by hand, I want a napkin around it. I wash my hands kind of thing. I'm a fussy, fussy little devil. A fuzzy donut daddy. And there's something that bothers me about if you just made me cupcakes and then you put it on a plate and you rubbed your fingernails through it. I'd be like, I'll pass on it. Well, he put down the cupcake and then he just licked it.

Just nasty. He's like, well, that's yours then. Not allowed. All right. So then it's him like desecrating the food. I don't want your gift. What if somebody just gave you a PS5 and then put their dick on the food i don't want your gift what if somebody just gave you a ps5 and then put their dick on it like i don't want the ps5 anymore so what i want to

point out is that i think that this community guidelines notice is on top of tiktok for everyone when they load the page right now but it looks like it's specific to the donut like a community note yeah like we need to keep we've updated the community guidelines to keep tiktok safe this shit is no longer allowed we keep trying and they find new things to lick we don't know what to do we had an anti jack skellington rule he was too scary um what's oh one of them's a brain that's kind of cool i will okay so this is given so trick or treat okay Okay. Oh, I will butter. Right out of the gate.

That's just jacking off. How could anyone say, how is this sexual? What are you talking about? He literally is the opening. Is that icing? The caption is, I will butter you up before I fold you over. Okay. Hashtag buttery soft dough daddy brioche.

Brioche is an awesome hashtag to go with everything else. I'm going to put the addition of a brioche bun instead of buttered white on my Chick-fil-A. Oh, it's milk. Get it? It's red dough. Don't touch my food like that. I want to eat it. I think you have to to some degree but it's like i don't if you had showed me what this food had been through before it was created i would probably say

i'll get the next one dude it would be pretty funny to see like uh a korea farmer like stroking the cow's hair right same song same track holding that like one of those slaughter guns from no country for old men and just like licking the side of it before they shoot a cow i read ahead in the comments and i'm now fearful for what's up oh also this song is called fetish oh that's yeah why are there moans in the song oh well i know the answer that's a fucking rhetorical question i don't know yeah these these do so well right and they yeah i know people i know especially in the creator industry i know plenty of people that are like very public with fresh and peculiar kinks i didn't even know about right at the same time there are so many more

comments and unironic engagement with these videos than i thought people on the planet were that would want exactly this you know i definitely think i've made this point before so i don't know where else i've made you're gonna say dough ass again or whatever we said before all i need the two words are butt dough and my point's been made i don't need to say anything else no but i in the past have argued with people online that those uh people on tiktok who were making disgusting food on their countertops were not fetish content because it was just outrage content and like the occam's razor of it all is like the this is just for the outrage clicks like duh right um and show me where people are consuming this for fetish and then i looked at all the related fetishes and i looked at content of that fetish to make sure that my point was well founded like splashing for example which is apparently something and um i still didn't believe that

that kind of was fetish this is so transparently fetish that it's it's exactly what those people i think thought the other content was it feels almost like a little bit like a dog whistle where it's like, it's not technically like porn. Come on. What are you? Hey, what are you talking about? Like if your kid shows you one of these, like, look, I was on TikTok on the iPad. Look what I came across. It's almost like, what is it?

There's like weird auto-generated Korean YouTube animations. Like Elsa, Spider-Man, pregnant, Venom, whatever. Responsible. auto-generated korean youtube animations like elsa spider-man pregnant venom right whatever responsible i'm like okay i guess legally speaking it's not inappropriate but there is some weird boomer part of me that's like i don't want my kids to see this well i think that the thing is like when people oh sorry just to clarify i don't think this should be taken off the platform or anything you do you it's no no no i think uh i well what i was going to say is you know growing up you meet people whose parents didn't let them watch tv and i feel like their parents thought that this would come up on the tv and and that's what they were keeping them from instead of like the rug rats because angelica was a bad influence.

Dude, a friend of mine I just found out the other day, only one show they were not allowed to watch. It's a Cartoon Network show of our childhood demo. Do you want to guess what it was? My thoughts are Codename Kid Sector for some reason. Interesting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy. What? Any others? Cartoon Network show. Hmm. uh ed ed netty what any others um cartoon network show hmm it's gotta it's ed ed netty i realize you already said it so if i gave clues what is the other show i don't know what that is which one code code name code name kids next door oh it was about like um are they like weird secret agent kids are they like kind of creepy looking um i would say not any more creepy looking than ed and eddie which kind of had like a body horror like elements to it no that's kind of cool stewie griffin nice

wow that's just straight up stewie griffin yeah i mean he's cool I mean also by that argument hey Arnold is also Stewie Griffin the football heads you know they unite they're united I guess yeah that was an appealing design yeah I'm into it still um

speaking of stuff to be really into oh yeah the donut daddy wanking willie that's funny what is that i was him opening a bag of flour oh okay stop touching the butter i want it i want to eat that is the biggest thing of butter i've ever seen. That was Costco industrial size butter. What the hell was that? I thought that was like... That's a cow's worth of butter.

I don't know what I thought that was initially. Oh, I thought it was a Chipotle burrito. That's the snack for this video. Yeah, no, literally. So it starts out... Up until that point, I was like, Chipotle burrito. Yeah, he's just hungry. He's just going to take a little snack. What if he... Yeah, again, the music cuts out and it's I was like Chipotle burrito. He's just hungry. He's just going to eat it, take a little snack.

What if he, yeah, again, the music cuts out and it's him driving to Chipotle and then being like pointing at the like faces he wants or even the music says like. He looks the counter at Chipotle. Yeah, someone cuts him off. He's like, it's fine. He's like, do you take Apple Pay?

He's like licking the don't do that the card yeah why isn't contactless works he's covered in licking his iphone it's covered in butter he's slipping all over must take so long to cook dude he's very innovative these shoot days have to be long or he's incredibly skilled because i'm like everything in between these shots is just like the camera does he have multiple cameras set up for different shots or does he do one like one shot location at a time which would just increase the production load i'm thinking about the production of these crazy i was just i feel like yeah which is impressive but hopefully it's like an iphone or something. It's not the most ingredient efficient,

but I feel like the wisest way to do it would be to have like four master shots. Because one of them is kind of a low angle that captures his triceps and stuff, like when he's cooking to the side. If you just grab that, do all the main ingredients with a little close-up, because you can have that out of frame. Use that iPhone for that. Then you do basically prep the exact same ingredients again with some alternative angles and then do a bunch of super close-ups that are just one by one like but like all the

flipping the butter and then also cracking the egg and stuff like that that's all in the white you just get everything yeah and then maybe you'd literally just cook it twice. I love to imagine, like, there was a day that we went to Sammy's camera. Oh, yeah. Big day. And bought all the cameras for this podcast and all the production equipment. And it was really expensive, but it was, like, an investment in, like, the next hundred episodes or thousand episodes of the show, right? We were going from lunch where we decided we're doing the show again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we were like, let's just freaking do it. And actually, great decision. No regrets on anything. Cost justified. Cost justified 100%. But I'm just imagining his version of that where it's like he's shopping stuff. He's like, oh yeah, that is going to be,

that's the dick cam. Just sucking his phone while he's on Instagram. Again, there is nothing wrong with any of this. It's just absurd that it exists to me. It's like, we live in a beautiful world where so many things can be popular. I'm glad it exists. And find an audience. It sits in my mind in like the same uh oh i'm glad this is

here for who needs it as that guy that's like i'm he's like straight to camera he's like i'm your shampoo imagine i'm your car seat yeah we're driving to chipotle i'm the rice i just remembered something that was in my this isn't important to be in the show. You got your appraisal picks, I see. Yeah. I'm going to avoid the, I actually have a side about that, but I refuse, brain. Just keep it. Okay, here we go. Okay.

So this is a complete aside for the highlight version of this, but I had a thing on the board that was like, iPhone cameras are too good. Anastasia and I were talking about this, about how it's amazing that over the past 10 years, I've captured so many mundane pieces of my life because I've had access to smartphone cameras where the barrier to taking a photo is very low. So you can capture the most silly stuff. And the photos that I'm capturing, they're blurry, they're grainy, whatever. iPhone photos and just smartphone photos in general are getting so good. The cameras in these phones are getting so good that we are now creating a world where the most mundane photos

look like they should be in a goddamn museum. We were checking out of our Airbnb and I was sending my friend a text of here's where I left the key. That's all it was. It was like, here's where I left the key. And this is the photo that I took. Jesus. That's from a Scorsese movie. It looks like a mood board

for like a new Wes Anderson film or something. Did you color grade that? Yeah, literally. That looks nicer than it does in life that's what i'm saying it looks like it was taken with a dslr so like when i said maybe he's taking this with an iphone that's actually just a statement that like you can do a lot with a low profile these days and the last um apple event was shot entirely with iphones and obviously they use special lens packs and the the lighting has to be right but uh i know

rocker rocko's modern life did this but uh spongebob comes to mind oh yeah they'll zoom in and it'll be like extremely handsome version yeah that's what it that's what this feels like where i accidentally took an extremely handsome zoom in on like some nasty food and you can see all the like the stink lines but it looks like photorealistic yeah um okay we can jump back in here jesus is that salami what's he making i don't know but he really just wanted to he's you know why he's doing this we all know why the hashtag brief yeah like that color come on come on that's all thank you love you that was weirdly procedural when he just got out of tape that is very funny horny construction would be cool you know what i would love to see why i would

love to see the like so unless he's like a one a one take daddy a one take donut daddy um or one take anthony there's got to be a couple there's got to be a like a real a film a real there's got to be like a clip on his camera that's literally just something yeah like now that doesn't make it right not quite maybe i'll play the fetish song sweet it's him like rubbing the butter but it like flying out of his head that was knife is not sexy that wasn't that was like a that was a sustained shot that was not that appealing a rare a rare miss and at 37 seconds or whatever but then followed by so a rare miss at 36 seconds but 37 seconds

all right sorry sir that is a um what is it called? The an automatic mixer mixer. Sir, that is a mixer. Oh, my bad. Oh. He did such an incredibly beautiful job with that food. It looks so good. But it's full of his saliva is my concern he's so good at his job it's also probably full of like eggshell he's like slapping the egg on it

that's so funny it's raw on the inside dude they should know but genuinely he's like very talented oh my god look at all the layers and stuff wait am i am i turned on right now that was wild i mean dude credit where credit's due to the donut daddy like i mean i can't cook like sexually or i'm bad yeah there's no yeah and i mean let not for a minute should you think we don't think this man is talented good at his job sexy all of the above are true come on um what are we trying to kid come on who are we trying to kid him stabbing not oh he tries. Maybe we do one more before we wrap. What is that one that's just a photo of him?

Yeah. What is that? I think it's a slideshow of AI photos. Okay. That's weird. Yeah, that is very weird. I like anything with the eggs. The egg parts are just funny to me.

You know what I'll do when you misbehave and then it's every caption possible. Oh, and then it's got his recipe here too that's nice okay i know you can't resist if he's a professional chef i mean clearly he's cooking in the kitchen oh where do you think this link tree goes what if it's just like an nft it's his uh board ape yeah hey what's going on oh he does cameos that makes sense how horny can you be in a camera private facebook what does that even mean huh that's i've heard of private snapchats i've heard of you know interesting that he doesn't just have like a fansly or something why not i feel like that's the format for that. Or even more of this. Even more like passes or something.

So he doesn't have to go like full NSFW, but. I mean, it could literally just be more of these. But look, dude. Hey, Didi, reach out to us. We have a business strategy available for you. Yeah. You know, I do think that... Use our Patreon.

What is the long-form version of this content? Because here, this relies heavily on the edit. It's jacking off. Yeah. I mean, that's not what that is. Next to a pineapple. He's like, remember food? I'm just in a kitchen.

Yeah. Fluorescent lights on, UV lights. So this one is, by the end of the night i'll know all your secrets hashtag break the bed hashtag taco hashtag pina colada break the why do you have a bed in the kitchen um because he's fucking on it hell yeah you've gotta fuck where you eat it'd be so funny to have like again like a shot where the music just cuts and he's just having sex with a cake. Yeah.

And it's like, oh, that's not suggested. That's just what this is. What's that bubble supposed to imply? Also, what did he do to the lime? How'd you do that, dude? That's not, you didn't, what are you doing? I just didn't use it. There is, sir, there ain't nothing you can do to limes that justifies this.

There's no cooking technique that needs you to finger a lime, dog. That's how they make 7-Up. That's how they make it en masse. That's their, a part of their production process. One guy desperately. I don't have time that's a thing he okay that's i'm starting to understand his bag of tricks yeah i feel like making two mounds of either boobs or butt esque items. He even pinched a nipple on the dough and then cut to him smacking

some dough. Just cut to him fighting a full size like dough. It's a bear. Yeah, doing karate. Oh, I tell you what making the donuts from scratch

whoa the knife stuff is scary it is scary and he's an expert I guess do not try this at home the way the avocado pit caught that knife is the way bone does I don't like that. That was just an... Okay.

That was unrelated. I'm just going to go down on this line real quick. That was a snack for this episode. Yeah, I guess so. Whoa. Cool. Wait, what did that say? What did that say?

Makes daddy sweeter. oh okay just is that like uh when you have a roommate and you package your food passively basically you know like this is daddy's is um what is uh what are they called um what are like the sex foods called oh i don't know what oh aphrodisiacs aphrodisiacs is that like a and then and then you didn't you tell me that grotesque fact about pineapples oh yeah oh that's what yeah they're involved in so many meals so i'm like i don't know what this is but i was like maybe it's one of those things oh is it? He's making a pina colada. Yeah. So I'm like. Respect. Ah. No. Whoa.

Oh. That's like not. It's legs. I think this is a miss. I get what this is supposed to be, but it's, I think it's a whiff. It's too much pineapple. He even like went up and down. I mean, just the presentation is so on point. This looks like a a like a a sunday from a diner in the

50s yeah but like that but like reimagined a little bit fancy uh fancier it is very uh debonair oh no don't do that now it is one from the 50s that's how they did it spinning it's cool all right looks nice looks nice not enough food for two i'm hungry not enough tacos for breaking the bed yeah um i've got a shot at the end where he's just kicking a bed he's like we broke you broke my bed but i at least serve you these two tacos in a big old pina colada yeah oh how much is a bedframe How much is that relax And it wasn't with sex I just drove my car Into the bedframe

Alright Okay well that was fun Calm down relax Oh dude that was fun Good times You know there's a part of me that Wishes I was like really Into that because there's a part of me that wishes i was like really into that because there's so much of it true and it's just i don't know it's like if i feel like i don't like

cilantro and it's in everything yeah like ah rats ah dang i wish i could watch these yeah i think yeah this is just i'll just stick to the normal stuff yeah just people making regular food wait no this is not normal by definition but not that it's wrong i'm just a more vanilla guy when it comes to my food content whoa are you saying this is in some way sexy um hell yeah hell yeah brother that's exactly what i'm saying all right well um thanks for playing big respect big respect so much for coming along. Don't forget, there's even more of this damn thing. And it's coming right up after this.

You'll see right after the show. We'll pick it up right here. Two guys. Two dudes. Just a couple guys from Jersey. Just a couple of guys walking here. We're going to be over on the Patreon. Patreon.com slash sad boys boys the world is different five

dollars you get yourself quite a few extra episodes this is what they all sound like every single one of them a couple slime will we lie to you hey you fucking i'll lie to you you lying to me fool me once shame on me sorry i did that sorry i fooled you um howdy but we in every episode of sad boys with a particular phrase we love you and we're sorry howdy what y'all anyway as we were saying it's just a bunch a couple of guys it's a couple guys maybe you don't understand what we're talking about just remember we do a favor for you you do a favor right back well you pay us five dollars a month and maybe we take care of someone for you hey like content like entertainment we'll kill them if you know what i mean we'll kill your boredom yeah by slaying an enemy with a gun okay look girl gucci girl how you doing how you moving girl moving girl how she's delicate that future girl

future girl yeah we are now take my money go away all you wanted go too rich for me