Sad Boyz - Was Matt Rife Ever Funny?

Episode Date: November 25, 2023

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. That was stern. Yeah. I'm Jordan. Which, howdy. Ooh. How long do you reckon I can keep that going? As long as you want, baby.

It feels wrong not to do it now. I'm expecting it. I will be honest. Yeah. I feel obliged, which is, I think, maybe the magic goes once I make it my, you know, when your job's what you love you know right that's why cowboys don't exist right never never work a day in your life if you um love what you do yeah if you're an outlaw if you're an outlaw yeah that's the other reason you never work a day in your life is because you're running from the law yeah but it's crazy that like that's just still cowboys i just don'tboys in california it's just tons of cowboys

that's cool they do like cowboy stuff including wrangling cattle they i mean somebody's gonna do yeah yeah i guess as long as you have cattle you have cowboys and a horse and a horse and you're now what do cowboys do really because my understanding is like they have a horse they're um maybe a lasso but for at one point a six a six shooter yeah but now that feels weird at work and then they're doing stuff with the cows are they capturing cows are they wrangling cows? They're probably defending them from Jesse James and his band of outlaws. Right, that's true. Because the herding element is something that they trained dogs to do hundreds of years ago.

But I guess that's with sheep. I don't know how cows work in that capacity. I'm learning that I don't know a lot about the world. Gloucestershire it's a cow zone oh it's a cow cow and sheep you're from cow county cow county that we that's where they were built yeah we have all the main resources yeah we've got some border collies running around keeping them under control hell yeah which is i have never we will never be as happy as a border i have always said that if i get another dog

it's probably going to be a collie because i've never seen now okay there's this there's one side of the dog training internet that says all breeds are created equal and they all are the same. There's no such thing as a hard dog to train and, you know, whatever. I don't buy into that. I do think all dogs are valid, but I do think that some dogs have been bred for very specific tasks and are more open to like every collie i've ever seen if i'm providing that collie with a task and a treat at the end of that they look like there's nothing they'd rather be doing in their lives than whatever you are asking them to do right now they're being genetically rewarded it's like an earnest like it's a focus that i like dipper could like give a shit if i live or die you know what i mean like he's gonna be fine either way and we have a great relationship we're roommates it's not really like a owner

subordinate like dog type thing it's more like he's the homie and like i have to help him like i have to help him eat and drink and go on walks and stuff but otherwise he's like a roommate he's a roommate he's an equal part in the same thing Same thing with Ethan. I got a water room. Yeah. And when I, um, when I ask Dipper to do stuff, it's really,

if he feels like it, um, he's, he knows dozens of tricks. He knows dozens of behaviors. He's very well trained. He's a more engaged cat. He lives very independently,

but he's, I'll say it smarter than a than a cat but if he but if he doesn't want to do something there is no nothing short of like finding a squirrel a live squirrel and in me training that squirrel to trick dipper into thinking he has a chance at catching it could i ever get dipper more engaged the only time i see him focus is when he's in prey drive have you have we on camera shown the eerily photorealistic squirrel model that you have no and i don't actually know where it is it's horrible but i got um i got dipper a so i got two things i got a squirrel squeak toy and then i got a photorealistic squirrel that's not taxidermy it's just like someone's craft is to make it look

real and the reason is because dipper is so into squirrels like when we're out on walks and i wanted to have a controlled environment to um practice leaving squirrels alone you know and um and not going into like i need to i need to get it i need to get the thing and hold it up and go like i have a son don't he relies on me exactly i go oh you're hurting me when you hurt the squirrel you hurt me uh he's we've got an anime power style bond he's transferring all the pain but uh enough about the dog talk i've got a surprise for you. So Jordan, before the show, ordered our Philz coffee as we often do. And unfortunately his croissant was missing from that order. So I went ahead and ordered him another croissant and also the live show sold out. It's in the bag. It's in the bag.

So before the show, there is a good sign here i know yeah jordan asked and i lied i had to lie and i was like i don't feel good about lying but if it's within you know 40 minutes or something like that because wait let's recreate it you ask me as if i'm you um uh do we know where we're at on ticket sales for the live show i carry the one i don't really so what's the deal with airplane food yeah that's pretty much exactly how it went down so you raised me i yeah because i i was like, I got the news unceremoniously as well because we were supposed to get emails every day from the venue. And I think we missed a day. And then my manager was like, oh, by the way, we sold out like in a meet unrelated meeting. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. And, um, and I figured it would be fun to surprise you because it wasn't that long ago. I think I found out yesterday. So I was like, oh, we'll be on the show soon enough. Yeah, when I came over the first time, I'm not for any particularly rational reason,

but I was from the beginning very anxious about like, I hope it sells. I hope people actually want to come along to that. I hope it does okay. Mainly just because it's been like a, it was like the milestone dream. Yeah. The show is the show when we do that. Yeah. And it wouldn't change anything if people weren't as interested in it.

It's a completely different craft, whatever. But that's that. Wow. That's amazing. Thanks so much to everyone for coming along. Jacob, we could strike promoting the live show. Yeah. But actually people want to listen to it

after the fact i think we're posting it on the patreon yes so it will be available um if everything goes according to plan you know because tech can be finicky sometimes i know and uh so the plan is to record the show have it uh live on the patreon patreon.com sad boys and if you are a patron just like the the $5 patron, the lowest level, then you will have access to that. So every patron will have access to that. Also, if you missed out, we will be looking into doing future live shows

depending on how this one goes. So yeah. Any fatalities of the show is really going to ruin it. If I die, it's going to be a couple weeks. But thank you so much for supporting us. yeah any fatalities of the show was really ruin it if if i die yeah and that's the yeah um but thank you so much for for supporting us i think it was really big for me that we i had a little personal rule where i didn't advertise the live show on my main channels because i was like i don't want this to be fans of me i want this to be like the people who are listening to the show and thankfully like enough time went on that i think that the patrons um who were

interested got tickets a little bit early they got access to tickets a little bit early and then the just listeners to the show who heard us talk about it were able to get tickets so uh it's going to be a good time december 3rd 4 p.m god that's so sick that puts me in a really good mood yeah i was upset before i was pissed off you're right right right pissed right peeved it was these zoomers peeing me off you heard about these guys with their frapper cheetos or whatever oh no, no way. Yeah. There's got to still be comics doing that, right? There's got to be some old style, like, what's the deal with all these coffees?

I just want a cup of Joe. Yeah. There's somebody doing it. I bet somebody has done, like, a really cool avant-garde airplane food bit. Just, yeah, something. Who's really transformed it. Yeah. Oh, actually, genuinely actually genuinely would be cool to do like a extended performance where it's only that and it's a you know you get a full 20 or

whatever you get a full 20 minutes up open mic and then the whole time you're just like i haven't had i haven't had it myself but I don't seem very good. Airplane food. Yeah, it doesn't. We're still talking about that. Sorry, I should have said, I'm talking about airplane food. Oh, okay, cool. On stage, like missing.

Yeah. Did you say something? Look under your seats. There's a tiny bag of peanuts. What do you do, sir? Nice. You didn't give me time to answer. Oh, I'm sorry.

Shit. Oh, I have my AirPods in. I'm on the phone air pods airplane before we get uh too far off of this like little self promo moment i do want to say that it's back it's back the trying my best og color block sweatshirt um it's one of my faves it's a it's a big fan favorite i definitely got a lot of messages asking when that would be back and so iconic it's the original way yeah it's like yeah yeah and i and i yeah i mean i'm super proud of it especially because it just like is one of those things where you can

have it and not know anything about me and that's cool I think I always wanted my merch to not just be like my face on a shirt or something. And that's available at Jarvis.store. There's also the purple shirt that I wear a lot. I think I wore it on the last episode of Sad Boys. That is back in limited quantities for Black Friday and it's 20% off as well. So it's a pretty good deal on that shirt. I actually might buy some well no i don't want to take away from the stock so i'm you buy them up so that i can't because i will i'm addicted i will um and obviously everybody knows if you if the stock runs out stick around january 6th we will be having a pop-up shop at the Capitol. Okay. You're not allowed. We're not allowed there. Hey, sorry.

I'll say it this way. We aren't. Right. Except for literally we aren't. Oh, yeah. When I, I always felt like I missed out because when, well, let me finish. When I was in fifth grade, I was in the safety patrol and it was basically like the narc club or whatever of the school where you'd be like enforcing. It was like a hall monitor. Yeah. It was the rats. Yeah. The, the tattletales. And we went on a trip to

tattletale central Washington DC, um, and previous years. So I went post 9-11 but I was you know it was at a time where 9-11 wasn't so far off so I was able to learn that you used to go inside the White House before 9-11 and I would have I I would have I was robbed of that experience and um well prohibiting a middle schooler from going in I was elementary school dude I was so not a threat hey stop him yeah it would be easy to stop me let me see those yugioh cards I'm wearing a bright green sash that's what they the safety patrol wore a bright neon green yellowish like caution tape-esque sash i mean as they say you know doing domestic terrorism is the exact opposite of being in the safety squad yeah safety team safety kids no making it up we were in the it was the safety patrol the safety patrol is cute

that patrol is kind of sick it makes me feel like i'm a power ranger yeah you are on patrol at the white house um i guess technically the secret service is something of sick it makes me feel like i'm a power ranger yeah you are on patrol at the white house um i guess technically the secret service is something of a safety patrol i think we were the secret service like we were like the the bench squad for the secret service like muppet kids yeah they would call us up you know it'd be like you hear about timmy he got called up to serve in the SS. Thank you for your service, Tim. Okay, so we, Jordan and I recently shared an experience that we'll probably get to talk about more in the future, but it was us appearing on a show of sorts, an internet program. We kind of teaser-trailed a couple of weeks ago

that it's just like a big kind of full circle moment for us. It's from a organization that we kind of grew up watching and it's like a big deal for us. first times that i had like full face makeup done that was not meant to make me look any different than i normally do but just to like accentuate my facial dimensions for the camera i have never it's i looked so even yeah i don't there's not a lot i worry about these days especially with like the my teeth getting fixed yeah that was always the thing but perfect physical specimen i always have a very sleepy eye when my sleep's going especially bad because i sleep on my right and the fluid kind of gathers right and they just they just fixed it with smoking mirrors something with a little bit of sponge or something there's a lot of stuff in and this is i um my utmost respect goes to hair and makeup

crews around the world it's incredible um it is a form of black magic yeah because i have talked a lot about my issues with sweating a hyperhidrosis head as i'm called literally my head it just keeps sweating and the bastards of wet forehead they had some i they were like is there anything i should know about your skin i'm like a combination you know it's like not oily not dry somewhere in the middle um and she was like oh some of your skin is peeling on your nose and i was like yeah i had a nose surgery i can't really touch it couldn't really touch it for like six weeks she's like oh are you hurting i'm like no no we're good now i just need to i think it's probably time to to give it a good um exfoliation or whatever but i did also

say i sweat a lot i sweat very easily and she was like i'm glad you said that because i had this and she showed me this like clear plastic bottle that had like a microsoft word art on it which was like it was like sweat no more or something. And it like sprayed X antiperspirant. Yeah, no. And she like put it on my face. And the moment that I knew I was like, oh, well, maybe I'm running cold today. So I am not sweating.

The moment I knew that it was working was when you sweat, which is it never happens. I'm cold all the time. Yeah. was working was when you sweat, which is, it never happens. I'm cold all the time. Yeah. And so you sweat on the shoot. And then we like just in between takes, it was like, oh, a little hair makeup, like dab here or there. It was like nothing major. We did very, in the show we're sitting down.

Yeah. And we did a very minor segment where we stood up and moved a little bit. True. But because I was um just a tank top under it i didn't want to take off the jacket i had yeah so i put foresight in my on my side but i you look great i just got a little it was a sexy set up we all look pretty nice with the makeup but we uh because i didn't want to take it off after minor minor minor physical exertion my

shitty cardio kicked in and i just started sweating from my forehead i'm also a forehead bastard yeah really cold forehead bastard of sweat and i i i mean i thought i was going crazy because it's big lights but it's not a hot studio so it wasn't yeah it wasn't hot they actually uh kudos to them um but in that moment i was like okay i need to i took pictures of the bottle she like told me where she got it but it wasn't like a store she gave me like a location like it was a spawn in the video game oh she was like oh if you go to the corner of here and here it's just on the ground yeah there's a rpg if you climb on top of the first building yeah exactly you look under the truck instead of mew it's sweat be gone up up down down yeah well i think we probably had the both had the weird experience with the makeup

of taking it off yes because they give us weirdly uh my my partner uses the same makeup wipes so i had them in my apartment and i do not know how we were supposed to use the one mini wipe they gave us well that was my problem they gave us one mini wipe. And I was like, I had a whole face to clean off. It looked like a pillow mint. Yeah, like something to put on your pillow. Yeah. And I was, I'm jealous of you now hearing that you were at access to more makeup wipes. Because when I got home, I was like, I was wiping, I was folding.

I was using every possible untainted surface to try and get the the makeup off because it was on my face and it was also on my neck because i had a little five o'clock shadow um and i still don't know if i got it all up i testament to how clear and consistent it was you know really good makeup feel especially like for on camera stuff it feels the same way that like really good plastic surgery is where people think like man makeup there's too much makeup on people look so crazy but when it's good you don't notice it yes i was looking at myself and i'm like i just look better but it can't be that much going on because i can't see lines i can't see right. I can't see coloring.

And then I got up and started wiping and I'm like, am I not black? This just keeps coming off. This is crazy. My issue right now is that what I want to do is take a big rag to my face and just like wipe real hard. But right now I can't do that. So I have to like. Your nose will come off. Yeah, I will.

That's it's bad plastic surgery, actually. It's snap-on, like a Lego. Yeah, I had a skeletal surgery. And so I probably could now, but I'm still trying to be very careful. I had one close call where someone bumped me in the nose, and they felt terrible. But I felt like I got punched in the face and it was so light and I was like concerning. I was like, Oh, but then I've had a checkup since then and everything is good. But I did ask when I was at the doctor, how soon,

because I think this is a good, I do, I've been, I've been doing boxing for exercise and I want to go back to it. But also even if I'm not sparring, there is the risk of accidentally hitting my face. So I don't want to take that risk too soon. But I did ask the question, how soon can I get punched in the face? And the look on my surgeon's face was like sheer horror. Do you need to tell me something? Yeah. Yeah.

No. And she was like eight weeks. It was like I had jump scared or something. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I called her bluff actually in that moment um but yeah so I think eight weeks and that's like maybe six weeks from now is when I'm that's when I'll go hard on the face wash with with my nose I'll scrub it because right now

they're like everything's good just don't move it from side to side and I'm like got it but now I'm afraid of if I so much as like pick my nose because there's sometimes weird shit in there i'm like is this moving it from side to side i don't know um but yeah uh okay i have something related to this topic please i laughed out loud when i found this out it is so this is my thing that I've been concealing, my little secret for about a week. Is your health thing? This is my health thing.

Okay. So people who don't know, I have a, and I actually have seen some people comment on that they also have this. That's cool. This is your representation

for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Yeah, I actually saw a few comments that were like, Jordan, you should look into, and I was like, no,

no, he knows. No, I mean, the greatest, I think the greatest, you should look into it. And I was like, no, no, he knows. No, I mean, the greatest, I think the greatest thing my mom ever did for me when I was young was identify, put the work in, and find out about it. Because knowing my lack of agency with health stuff now, I would just never find out.

Right, it would be like, my body's broken. I don't know. I'd just be like, must be normal. It's kind of the, it's the physical equivalent, I think, of when we each got diagnosed with ADHD as adults. Yeah. Because it allows you to review so much of your life and recontextualize it. Yes.

In the case of EDS, I think that's my version of Ted knowing he had ADHD for so many years. Kind of the doubt not existing as much. Right. The doubt not Is existing as much And I Because of that not checking in on it And some deterioration In things that tend to Deteriorate with EDS About 10.30 I should actually be doing something And I don't have a doctor in the US anymore

Let's just go do it It's Aboy's LCS great healthcare Let's use the damn thing Other than meds Thanks to our patrons by the way we do have health insurance being lawyers paying for health care that's really where all the money goes uh but then we uh went in decent session got my blood test a few weeks ago had to go back visit my mom and then the funeral and then it just results delayed delayed

yep got him back bad for a 29 year old good for eds 29 right somewhere in the middle the i i laughed out loud because if there's one thing that is a running joke endless running joke that just keeps developing between you and me adhd our birthdays oh no let's just say i have something that rhymes with sheep slap near no i have that doesn't surprise me also that that doesn't surprise me because of you there had to be something wrong with your sleep yeah four hours a night for 20 years so we're now living mirrored lives you're gonna get a deviated septum you're gonna develop one tomorrow they're gonna give me yours yeah i don't how long can this go that's true how many things

are funny it's well okay uh it's also good that it's something that you can you know try to it's a it just helps in terms of um narrowing down treatment options and plans there were a handful of things where they were like uh they were like do you vertigo and then i was like i don't think so and then they described what i go and i went oh yeah of course everybody has that most days and then like there's a bunch of those then they asked about my sleep they're like well you know it's you have like a very abnormal amount of co2 basically are you what's happening sleep apnea would really be the only explanation we can find in your routine do you sleep pretty consistently you should get a study etc i'm like well yeah you know i've never been great with sleep but like how much five hours sort of average skip a couple days here and

there they're like are you serious because the options there are you're one of the uh very small percentage of people in the world who only need a few hours of sleep and feel perfectly healthy or you do not have enough oxygen and your body is waking you up because you can't breathe. I am. Yeah. I mean, I guess we're going to look into it, but I don't, I don't know. I've never, my partner's never said that I, you know, well, no, that's not true. I wake up constantly.

Come to think of it. Huh? Cause that's the one thing I don't have is, uh, I have like the micro wake ups or whatever. Um, or no, no, no, no, no. I have the thing where wake-ups or whatever. Or no, no, no, no. I have the thing where I stop breathing. Right. Like while I'm sleeping. And we don't know how the deviated septum thing is like,

has a potential to like help with that. And so I figured it would be worth a shot because it's also a quality of life thing. Something that I never knew was a possible thing to do check this out what the hell he's drinking the water and he's breathing directly into my mouth never in my life have i been able to do that breathe while drinking breathe while drinking i used to go i here's how i used to drink like diving underwater send help yeah no literally um even the makeup chair yesterday i was keeping my mouth closed

as like a challenge like i was in a fucking was in a fucking YouTube video where I was like, let me just see if I can keep my mouth closed and continue breathing. I'm like Mr. Beast putting himself underground for seven days. Do you remember that really early Mr. Beast video where he underwater for like four years? Yeah. And the very obvious thing that went wrong is that he just got like he started getting necrosis from being in water that's like what killed pirates like you can't have your feet and hands in water for a long period of time they just start to dissolve it's a weird thing where

like i know that he talks to doctors at least now about these things but i'm not sure how i feel like maybe the doctor should be more involved and on site those are the things i these things but i'm not sure how i feel like maybe the doctor should be more involved and on site those are the things i think about when i'm watching these videos because i'm like like maybe when the the doctors give the feedback they're like well now that you've got that feedback you won't do it it's not like as opposed to what Jimmy's doing, which is a calculation versus like revenue. Yeah. The risk, 2% risk that I die. I did watch his most recent video that I spent seven days underground or whatever. Oh, is that the one with the thumbnail?

Yeah. I mean, like, it's like, I have no doubts about whether or not he did it for real. Cause this is like a thing that like your David Blaine types and stuff have done. And also a number of, and this is a dark you know trigger warning but a couple of people doing that stunt have died oh yeah like from um a collapse of the coffin that they're in from the weight of the from the weight of the dirt and so he kept making jokes about that but i was like um and then there's a point there's a point in the video where like a washer sorry a washer is the thing that goes around the screw right oh yeah or no oh no sorry a nut no because a washer is just a spacing thing yeah but anyway the like a

nut comes loose and i'm like please jimmy tell me this is dramatic for dramatic effect oh because if this is for real i kudos for keeping keeping cool and calm because he was he was just like oh whatever and then he like threw it so i'm like this has to be this has to be like a a little bit of added drama that they scripted in i pray although hey if it wasn't and he survived i guess he's in the right yeah i mean dude i i just don't want anybody else to do it yeah that's good it's done it's covered it's nobody else i mean he has all the resources where i like there's enough of a thing where i'm like, OK, you're going to be fine. Probably.

And if anybody else does it, I'm like, you probably are cutting corners that you should not be cutting. Please. No one hurt themselves trying to do Mr. Beast. I mean, you don't see it's very expensive to a grape lot. Like digging that alone is expensive. So if you're going to do it yourself with like a garden trowel, just do it vertically. Shout outs to young Jimmy. I don't know. I just, I find Mr. Beast Discord like very uninteresting.

I agree. But at the same, like I find him as an individual very interesting it's not the kind of content i want to emulate because i like being alive but i do think he's an important presence yeah and is good at it i think it is like ultimately yeah the same content could exist and be a lot more that's what i'm saying it's like i i it's one of those things where um if you were like watching logan and jake paul content back in the day on youtube you were like okay kids are watching this and these guys are a bad influence yeah um you know it's like say what you will about how both of them have like adjusted their behavior and stuff um at least on certain things But the old content was the stuff

that all the kids were watching. And of course, everyone was making fun of it because YouTube wasn't doing anything about it. And the alternative is like, we just like kind of let this go. And because there's no getting to, there's no communicating with them at that point, because everybody who disagrees with them is just a hater whereas like mr beast it's like it's weird because i okay where the thing is i can't prevent the existence of a mr beast mr beast exists and there's nothing i can do about it and so you know it could be worse is essentially what i'm saying and and i also do think that you know he has adjusted he seems open to criticism you know yes like i've seen a friends

of ours have critiqued him before and he's like reached out and stuff. And so I'm of course biased because I like know people who work for him and stuff. And I can say nothing about the internal things because, you know, who knows what that's like. It's like if something ever comes out that it's like really shitty to work under Mr. Beast and it's horrible working conditions. One, I would not be that surprised because I think that a lot of it reminds me of like the old school tech days where like facebook back in the day where it's like you've got this young extremely powerful man who is uh kind of able to act with impunity and um is responsible for not only uh i guess in facebook's, it's like they're responsible for a lot more with their platform.

Like Mr. Beast is influencing the young people with his content, but he's still also responsible for these workers. And managing and caring for workers, independent of like intent is something people cut corners on and fuck up. It's a skill. And a lot of people in positions of power where they are the kind of the agent in it. Like Zuckerberg, especially early Facebook, can drop every single other employee of Facebook and just rehire other people who still exist. You can suck if you want.

I'm just not confident that I think that management and organization of a team is a separate skill from any of it's a separate skill from programming. It's a separate skill from making videos and it requires investment and care. And I do not know anything about the internals of Mr. Beast. So I hope that they they have the resources to make the right decisions. But I would not be surprised if corners were cut, you know? And I don't, every good manager I know at some point was a bad manager. Yeah. It was like, oh, by the way, I just noticed because it fell on the cut of my face.

I've left it too long. People will have already commented about it. Elephant in the room. I have had to Harry Potter my glasses glasses together i have a few on the way to be quite honest with you mailing anything to my address is a living nightmare i don't know why nothing it's like an escape room it's my address is a riddle yeah and then it very rarely is solved amazon has a better rate than most but 50 of the of the time I got to go pick it up at UPS or whatever. This, I have ordered six pairs of glasses because I want to never order them ever again.

Yeah. Right now, I have retrofitted the arm from an older pair of glasses. I did not notice it was a different arm. Which I couldn't superglue because each of these has residual super glue. So I can't get the adhesive to stick to the adhesive. So instead I have a hilarious looking cobbled together. This looks like a gun from a post-apocalypse movie. Yeah.

All right. These are the glasses that Sawyer has and lost. Go ahead. Comment on the glasses. Go ahead. Edit your comment from earlier saying that his excuse wasn't good enough. I can hear someone going, edit, update. He finally noticed.

Or I know. I don't know. He commented on it. What you might. Jordan, you'll actually find that it is possible to superglue one adhesive to another. You know. I know. I'm incompetent, but I'm cute.

So, you know, when you're ordering an Uber uber eats we often do it for this show ahead of time um because we are scrambling to get the show like ready and then like they forget your croissant and then jordan needs this croissant because he just won't he stops the recording he slaps the cameras out of jacob's face and says i will not record without my almond croissant a lot of this and we um so when we got the when we got this order in there's always this awkward thing where it's like you get handed the bag and then you go okay do you need a picture and they're like yeah and then you just like you just like hold it up and you're like in the picture you're like um that michael scott uh i can't remember what it is from the office they did it in the office michael scott awkwardly posing when he has like the slick

back hair oh yeah that's right but but anyway anyway hey do you need a pin like oh yeah like why you should check oh the pin yeah like yeah do you need the pin i'm like oh let me check i do get a lot of uh oh thanks for reminding me and then one time like i don't know which app it is but in one of them you can't retake the photo so in one of them somebody accidentally it was in the dark of night and they accidentally like took a photo of darkness and they were like i just go they're like i can't they're like i can't do it again i do when i was staying with you when i first moved back to la last year do you remember when somebody dropped something off at your place i had ordered something and they sent us a photo that was not only in the dark but was so close to the ground that when i went to go and

find it i found it via gravel yeah i was tracking the the sediment that shit was like geoguessr shifting up the street one click at a time yeah it was literally like here's here's a 400 by 400 image of somewhere near your house is it your neighbor's door is it inside of your neighbor's garage perhaps it's just a photo of the street and in the corner you can see a paper bag maybe i'm at home yeah maybe i don't work maybe it's me uh maybe it's me speeding away from your house after i actually took the bag that's like cop lights that's so funny story yeah it's a story uh hey man you know it's very reasonable they're very overworked it's very intense oh absolutely it is such a posing for a little photo with a bag

it's very funny it's uh it feels like i'm at school like it's like it does my first day at school yeah so we have a couple things to get to today. One of them is this Matt Rife drama where I think we're finally going to get to the bottom of who Matt Rife is. That's my goal. And I have an assumption that that's going to go to a darker place. So I want to start with a wholesome pen pal. Okay. A Jedi before the Sith. We don't always do our pen pals. It's hard to work into the show. It's, you know, we're flying by the seat of our pants. We're still figuring things out over here. But we read them. We do read the messages that we get. And we received a very wholesome email that I was like, we just got it.

This one just brought a smile to my face. So we're going to go ahead and read it. Hey, Jordan and Jarvis. My name is Salem Sheher. I'm a freshman in high school. Recently, I met this guy and I like him. I don't know if he likes me. That's not the problem though. I don't know if I'm allowed or if I even want to date anyone. I know I'm mature enough to date, but I don't know if I'm mentally ready. But I don't know if you're supposed to feel that way or not. My parents are also very strict, which I'm fine with most of the time. So talking about anything like dating or honestly, anything moderately inappropriate has always been taboo. I would love to hear from you what

you think I should do. Thank you so much for reading. I totally understand if you're not able to respond. Well, Salem, this is very sweet. Thank you for writing in. Thanks, Salem. The thing that I want to say is you feel how you feel and how you feel is valid. Don't do anything earlier, sooner than you want to. Your instinct is right. Your instinct is right. Don't allow yourself to be pressured into any place, anything or any activity that you're uncomfortable with and yeah follow your gut i don't know to what degree your parents are strict or what the consequences are that's that's you know obviously a variable but they have no right to control you

in that way they can advise but not to control. I, again, not to be, not to make too many assumptions, but providing that there's not like any major consequences to it, you can kind of disregard, not like any insight they give, but you can disregard them as like a, they decide how you live kind of position how

old is freshman 14 14 that and it's yeah it's very reasonable for you to not know if you want to and also enjoy the sensation of just being interested in someone or liking someone that's like that's enough too if that's what that's all you want that's the end of it that's cool if you also and the only answer in both in all scenarios the only answer is like maybe hang out with this person get to know yes i think you can dip your toes in without committing to something so grand i think you're allowed to hang out with somebody if they want to frame it like a date that's a discussion that you can have but i don't know if your parents are comfortable with you having friends of the, you know, opposite presenting, you know, sex or whatever, but be patient with yourself.

Like in only do things when you're ready to do them. That's I think the main thing. Um, seem wise. Yeah. You seem, you seem wise. you seem wise so definitely i feel comfortable saying trust your gut here there's one more thing i wanted to say oh your peers uh you know it's a very confusing time in life uh hormones are going everywhere your peers may not have a lot of tact or people who you're talking to in this capacity may not have a lot of tact around your feelings and your comfortability around the stuff. So that is again, more the reason that you should just trust your gut and feel comfortable saying no, because, because, uh, like, especially like I can speak to like being a teenage boy, boys are just like, I want this. And they don't think much, much about it. And it sounds like you want to be intentional and i think that's amazing

and that's something that you should honor and respect about yourself and so yeah don't let anybody like lead you elsewhere and elsewhere a topic like this is like there is no there's no bad no in this situation there's no obligatory yes for anything there's no bad no in this situation. There's no obligatory yes for anything. There's no, avoid polite. The polite is never the thing to trust over your actual preference or what you feel like you should or want to do. Get something better with the instincts and you don't, don't treat anyone like they have more authority on the topic than you, but take their thoughts into account and chew on them yeah i i didn't really start dating until a little bit the end of high school and then mostly college do you remember your first crush oh yeah oh yeah thank you i think first crush was like in

elementary school oh wow where you're like because school, you get to like 11, 12. And then I feel like I started liking girls at that point. Yeah. How did grade break down? So like fifth grade is usually 11. Some people are 12. Then middle school is like 11. Some people are 12 to 13. Some people are just turning 14. And then high school is like 14 to 18. Okay. Yeah. I remember kind of having the like performative crush to some degree, kind of when I was like 10 or 11, more just like a, I'm like, I'm feeling different about girls. They're not like the same that I felt before.

But then I had my first kiss at 14 and it stressed me out. It was at the top of the stairs by my room as this friend, girlfriend, you know, whatever it is when you're younger, right before she left. And I don't even remember why, but I was just like, I just like stood at the top of the stairs like I had like bumped, like I'd done a fender bender. And I just stood upstairs like, oh, fuck. Do you have insurance? Yeah.

Do I need to, let's just talk it out. Let's figure it out. But she was very confident. She just was like, see you later it's also like people are in different places i remember one of my uh who would later become more of a closer friend in this age but like in high school they're like high school relationship they were like very performative you know there's like those couples they're like uh i think this is often this energy is often attributed to theater kids where they're like in the in the hallways and

they're like like dipping each other and making out and it's like what are we doing here hey babe it's 13 years old yeah you're they're in like a leather jacket and like sunglasses yeah yeah and they're like at the locker like it's fucking grease or whatever yeah they've aligned perfectly they don't talk about anything like they don't have. They don't have enough life experience to have like interesting conversations. But what they can do is be a couple. It's like, hey, I'm a goth. Hey, I'm a jock. Hey, we are a couple. That's the thing we do. Actually, I do have a little bit of experience here because in high school, I had a huge crush on somebody.

And it was like a mutual crush. But then they had really strict parents. And I'm also like a rule follower. I didn't want to get anybody in trouble nor get myself in trouble. So we didn't do anything. We just held hands. And like, ooh oh that was that was the shit what a rush that what a rush dude that was that was wild that's still a handhold

is still top like three intimate oh a first handhold too i've been the the hand holding is like i've dated and had sex before hand yeah white more often than not and i think that is i think it's it's because it's kind of declarative you know yeah you're in the world usually i've definitely like made the move of a handhold like you're at a movie or something and you like lean into to him you get out of your seat you like stand up you like you're like oh what's the what's the energy and they like lean back into you and you're like oh she maybe we should escalate things i'm just gonna put my hand on this banister uh on this armrest i've written lauren lauren shippen um she is an author yeah the way that lauren described the most romantic most heart fluttery butterflies in stomach thing ever is two people sat maybe at like a shared desk with like both

with hands on the desk and then one puts pinky on the other one i remember that being like a very uh that was like an aspirational thing when i was in school yeah i was like i'll i'll figure it out yeah like like initiating a light touch it can be so like piano it's like the spark it's like sparks can fly like in your brain just from just from that um and then i don't think i ever really got that god just went from maybe because i just went from like being a dork teen to just drinking and just doing drugs from like 16 to 20 and i think that was like the that was the like okay well now i'm dating people now i don't know 18 i was i did a little bit uh and i don't condone underage drinking but i did a little bit of maybe i was in europe who knows a little bit of drinking before i turned 21 oh that's right 21

but before but to be honest a lot of times i was like no thank you like like most of the time because i think i was just afraid of i don't know it's a very scary i think i like to be in control and also like to i cared very much about how i presented myself and i was like well this is making me not able to be do that do that yeah i think it was hesitant till 15 and then i had a group of friends that it was like a very controlled, quiet situation, house party stuff. Yeah. And I, in retrospect, I now see how it was self-medicating the ADHD and anxiety. Like if we're going to a party and I drink half a liter of cider or whatever. Right.

Like here comes Jordan. Yeah, here comes trouble. Here's Sasha Fierce. Here comes trouble actually. His acapella group. Like dancing. And I'm all fine. And the buzz was off the next day. and I'm like, what did I?

Did I embarrass myself? Oh, the worst feeling. I remember I said I played Wind Waker, and I never actually finished it. I don't drink so much these days. However, I do. I'm having drinks tonight. Okay. I'll say it. It's a first date okay i'm gonna have a beverage but yeah so jumping into the main little current event of of today there's drama surrounding

comedian matt rife a recent i know he has been active in the scene for a long time since he was very young, but recent pop off has. I didn't know he was active. I believe so. I mean, I've seen his shorts on and off for at least since last year. Yeah, I knew, I thought, okay, my understanding of this person, and maybe we should look at a couple of TikToks before we jump into this, but my understanding of this person, and maybe we should look at a couple of TikToks before we jump into this.

But my understanding of this person was they were like the dude who popped off from TikTok. He was the TikTok standup, the pretty boy comedian. Yes. I can't believe he's saying that type comedian, which we make jokes about a lot. And so I'm curious too. I've never like passed judgment on his comedy

and uh we're gonna look into why he's gotten himself into trouble um in his response people and people aren't gonna comment on me putting the glasses on they're gonna comment you're commenting on it thank you so first let's just go to matt rife's tiktok and let's watch maybe the first the the three most recent tiktoks what if it's horny cooking imagine dude he would probably kill yeah horny stand-up okay that probably already exists i think that's just stand-up comedy dude so much stand-up is about sex hey so i'm dating again i went to a stand-up show recently and it's like local comedians but yeah lots of

sex talk and i'm like it's fine it's just funny that that's like a place that we all go i think honestly i think it's like how almost every single pop song has to be about relationships because this is gonna sound harsh most people don't have very interesting lives more people make music than have interesting lives and as a result like the default is just like i think a lot of people write lyrics about love kind of not even thinking about the fact that it's about relationships it's just like uh it's like if you write a melody you don't necessarily know why you like it you just kind of do and you don't necessarily know why you're using these words you just kind of do and i think the same thing happens with stand-up a little bit where like hey man sex is maybe the most interesting thing that happens to most people i think

that's why airplane food hit so hard for comics because all that touring comics did was tall i'm always on planes yeah i i definitely agree with that i think it's like you're trying to reach an audience on a relatable subject and and you also were getting to talk about something that's a little taboo so you can get you you get a lot of laughs out of like oh i'm not even like i'm it's like a little bit of an outlet to, to like laugh at this taboo subject, especially because we're so like sex repressed or whatever. And often like, uh, I'm bad at it.

And I'm, these dating rules are crazy. And I think like, at least in a lot of the ones, you know, extended scene is, so I'm turning 30. My body's changing.

Jeez, my back hurts. It's so much. But it is also like, I guess that's where alt comedy came from because it's like a lot of, you know, it's like if you watch Kumail Nanjiani stand up, it's like about comic books and shit. Yeah. Or if you watch like Bo Burnham's Inside, it's like all like it's none of that because those topics in some circles are like viewed as like a little hacky, you know? But obviously there's ways to subvert that thing. And I don't want to get too much into like comedy math or anything something that they say has become a proven way to go viral where it's a comedian destroys heckler in the crowd.

If you start that, millions of videos and 90 of them are obviously fake just so like or just cruel it's someone like ordering a drink quietly from someone they're like you should kill yourself and it's like all right so i'm down so i think we're getting a mix of both here um all right so let's start with Baby Mama Drama. 64.5 million views. He's still fucking his baby mama. Well, that's loyalty.

It sounds like if he's fucking anybody, it should be the mother of his child, no? Am I crazy for this one? He kind of sounds like you're breaking up a family. Yes, he's lying. That's what we call a blatant lie. I mean, maybe he shouldn't be dating you on the side if he is actually interested in her.

I will say that. How long have you been seeing him for? Four months. Four months? That's tough. Not a bad set. No. I've always kind of felt like a lot of, maybe the reason the crab work bits don't hit for me is it's like explaining an inside joke.

A little bit of the atmosphere is missing. Yeah. If I was in the room, I'm sure I would be laughing. Yeah, I definitely, yeah. I think it definitely hits harder when you're in the room, but can see how it works and it's also like okay this guy's you know he's sharp on his toes and blah blah i don't think there is anything like a lot of it's like i don't want to dissect the comedy of it but i think he's a funny guy like obviously he's successful i mean i don't know what the extended drama is so i almost want to like preface with

you have no problem with this guy's comedy. I don't remember any of the clips I saw that I like, but I definitely have. And I've given them a like. I've been like, that's funny. Yeah. All right. Let's see. Cookies and milf.

Oh, yeah. I seem frustrated. A gift? Maybe help? Maybe after the show. Thank you so much. What is this? Well, don't clap.

It could be a bomb. We don't know. I came to Iowa and I guess... That's because of the... That's because of the Build-A-Bear joke. Came to Iowa and I guess... Yeah. Cookies!

Are you kidding me? Thanks, man. The blowjob's gonna have a hard time beating this. This is fantastic. Christina, you are so hot. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. You're a grandma?

You're a grandma? Okay Oh my god Nine minutes? Yeah, that's not gonna happen He did an hour, I believe Because I saw a follow-up clip to this That's like high quality

The reason I recognize this one Is that that grandma is in the crowd it's also in iowa and i'm sure it's covered in those nine whatever minutes yeah but she when she squeezes her boob it squeaks oh like a dog toy oh and i do not know why or how but that's like another thing that he's referencing in it because he's like i'm in iowa is christina here it's crazy that i mean take that probably counts of you pretty early but 54 million views on a nine minute tiktok clip is something i've never seen before yeah yeah so matt rife released this special recently on netflix and i think it's the opening joke that has people upset and I don't fully know what it is.

So trigger warning for domestic violence. You can skip past the joke and here's a timestamp to do that. And the hostess who like seats you at the restaurant had a black eye, a full black eye. And it wasn't like, what happened? it was pretty obvious what happened and we couldn't get over the fact that we're like this is the face of the company like this is this is where you have greeting people and my boy who i was with was like yeah i feel bad for her man i feel like they should put her in the kitchen or something where nobody nobody has to see her face you know and i was like yeah but i feel like if she could cook, she wouldn't have that black eye. The thing that just jumps out immediately is kind of a hacky bit.

It is. The reason this feels hacky is because there's an extremely old joke where, trigger warning, I'm going to read a very old hacky domestic violent joke what do you tell a woman with two black eyes nothing you already told her twice that is right it's the same anatomy that is a decades old it's so old it's so old it's like i remember this because i've seen this i haven't i have seen this clip before i remember the setup it's that he's in iowa and when i when he starts the bit i can kind of see this foundation that could be fine which is like i was crazy maybe she's been getting right where is it going yeah maybe she was like fighting the kitchen because they brought the food out to you know something yeah because like the being a woman had a black eye so domestic violence

i'm not even gonna i don't want to play the ethics of a game i don't play the whatever it's just a bit of a whiff it's it's a it's just a it's like a famously bat sexist joke about domestic violence that it almost feels like it's being made on purpose because it's i don't know like i i honestly like well let's see what i think green had to take even the face he's doing is the if you ever watch jimmy carr no it is most british stand-up suck shit we are very bad at it but there is this his thing is being the what's the other one the one here uh he's like offensive jokes is this thing yeah what's his name oh it's last name Anthony Jessen like oh yeah yeah it's that but it doesn't there's no work put into it at all it doesn't like hit

genuinely all his jokes are just like i remember the first date i had it was with my uncle guys oh right okay guy and it's an hour of that and it he recently like released a new one and it's such an embarrassingly like is this all it is this is the stand-up it's it's interesting because there's not much to dissect about the joke uh to me i could be missing something major but like well it's because people have been dissecting it for 30 years since it's just like so cut and dry to me uh hang green said a comedian ruining his relationship with a large portion of his fan base because he wanted to be like all the other boring ass netflix special you can't tell jokes in the world crowd is actually just depressing i mean he's not holding back it is it does feel

like um when somebody does something just for shock value, but it actually is not, it's like in middle school. Like that joke I probably heard in middle school because people were making terrible, terrible jokes about terrible, terrible things because shock was the entire name of the game. It's like, you just wanted to say something that like people couldn't believe you said that. And obviously there were no consequences because you were a child well you don't know what

a joke is yet you just know like the some if someone's supposed to react that's like when you're a kid that's the joke you did it you made them make a noise even if it's nervous laughter it's better than nothing um but like imagine a joke a good joke more often than not is subverting something and you don't know enough to subvert it yeah and it's disappointing to see someone that i mean the clips we watched not like bursting out laughing out loud but i think that's just that's stand-up i don't even if i watch a special at home i enjoy it i'm just if i'm in the crowd i'm laughing along you know what i mean and i don't if i'm in the crowd i'm laughing along you know what i mean and i don't if i were in that crowd i'd be like oh that's a shame oh i've been yeah i was in improv class once where uh someone made a like very dark domestic violence premise and the uh kaylee uh the female improv teacher stopped the scene and went what is your goal here

you know like because i'm not going to tell you what you can and can't joke about but i have a strong suspicion that you were not going to be able to navigate this yeah with the tact it's and that was after it like went on for a little like i'm surprised she let it go on for as long as she did and it was three seconds or four seconds that it went on i guess they're letting it be an object lesson well yeah it's like okay no there was something to it was more like she was saving this person from themselves because everyone was like oh no um okay so i do actually want to see the full context like where it goes after this um but i before that want to call out what his apology was oh okay so he posted if you've ever been offended by a joke i've told here's a link to my official apology which already which already

doesn't sound like he's apologizing i just because it's not specific it's generic i don't i think the term offended now only exists in the in a like oh you can't say anything anymore i think if it's genuine it's usually terminology like uh upset or hurt or something something like sourced from empathy as opposed to like if you're bitching and moaning about the stuff i say it's wild because like this guy is supposed to be i mean like i countless headlines about how he's like the gen z comedian or whatever um in in a huge portion of his audience is gen z women and and then you do this special you want to join the big boys club you only emulate the like the old heads dude it's like emulates the what he's emulating is not just old comedians it's old comedians who don't

want to get with the times it's yeah it's old comedians that do a special once every 10 years yeah and so then he has a link tap to solve your issue which already is like such a facebook type like response because you have to do that like you have to go in you have to say oh i'm going to recaption this so you can't see the actual link because the actual link is a link to special needs helmets and that's his fake fake apology his take or the zinger here you know this actually kind of lands in a similar place of i am not interested in a dialogue about what is and isn't okay because that is a it's a nothing burger there is no end to that conversation yeah instead all i can i'll just take the statement of weak weak hacky bit doesn't have any substance to it you dig into it a little bit what does that mean are you saying the people that are upset

are special needs if so what do you mean that this was a joke about domestic violence it's weird because like it's worse than not saying anything and so i'm i'm having trouble what so outside of the outside of the earnestness of this or the lack thereof like what was your actual strategy because you get this off and who's laughing who's laughing when you tell this joke it's so weak because it's not your audience nope and that's why it feels so strange i mean the answer is other comics other hacky comics right you are in group chats with yeah dave chappelle is like get, get him, buddy. It is. I mean, truly, it is like it's other guys that he met at the open mics and that he can throw stuff around with.

Right. It's guys with, you know, podcasts called Urm Problem? Yeah. And you want to look hard for your boys. You want to look famous. Maybe as open as one of those dudes. You want to stand on business, dude. You don't want to look like some little weenie who's folding to public pressure i think that that narrative is so bad

because if everyone has a problem with something maybe you weren't transcendent maybe you were leveraging one of the oldest tricks in the book that has been retired for a reason, you know? It's just clearly weak. And it's weak in a way that the clips we watched weren't. Weren't, yeah. They were like a little confrontational, a little different, a little exploratory. Even the clip that I've seen, I mean,

I'm probably going to watch the full hour because I'm just curious or at least skip through it. Well, yeah, I actually do want to, after this, watch the audio of the rest of that. I don't know what his actual material is because the viral clips are of him doing crowd work. Yeah. And that does not a Netflix special make. So maybe this is just the best that he can come up with. I don't know.

I do want to look at where this joke goes. Does he sit in it does he move on or is it a um so that was a little awkward and people laughing in the crowd is not an indicator of anything because if you're filming a netflix show yeah or it's like much like me in the in the studio audience of a late night show that maybe wasn't for me and wasn't like super haha funny i know i'm on camera so i'm laughing anyway so and also it's edited yeah and they do insert laughs that is a known thing because it that needs to be consistency why wouldn't you yeah like a magic show where people are like, well, they wouldn't fake it.

Like, of course they'd fake it. That's the point. Ends justify the means. If a joke that's integral, especially to like the narrative of the special, they'll put fake laughs in. They don't care. In instances like this,

it could make people think, oh, why would someone laugh at that? And there's a very simple answer. Yeah. I mean, I think it is a, it's a magic's a magic trick all right yeah let's see where this goes so we just uh watch like what follows that joke and he basically it's like a self-awareness but maybe not enough self-awareness where he's like oh you know i just wanted to see if you guys were going to be fun or not which is very comic i mean it's it's you know um that's every that see if you guys were going to be fun or not, which is very comic. I mean, it's, you know.

That's the follow-up to those lines because it eats time and isn't any work. That's just like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's going to be a little bit crazy. Yeah, so, yeah, then he says if we start the show with domestic violence, the rest is going to be, and then he trails off. He doesn't finish his thought. Sorry. I am like blown.

I like Matt. He's done good work. Like the clips I see. It is a bummer to me that his transition from that was into crystals. The transition being, she should have had her protection crystals. Not a reference to anything before. No, just the thing he just needed to get to the next bullet point.

Dude, I mean, is the one after this like, if you notice that venti is the word for a large coffee, it should, why don't they just call it large? It is like a very, like I. It's like a late 2000s joke. The fuck? Yeah. I'm talking about tarot cards And the line

Fellas we've got to Put our foot down Yeah It's kind of crazy I've like seen this On Comedy Central in 2003 You know what I mean It's like watching a period piece

Yeah But like if he came out With like an Edwardian ruff And a cape Yeah And a horse That's wild Well

It certainly makes sense Why people are upset I just I yeah i know i'm getting stuck on it but it's more it really is an issue of and this okay i'm pathologizing guy i do not know i haven't been to a full show we barely watched this one whatever but i can't help but feel because he's been doing the podcast rounds as well With a lot of traditional comics Like Segura and the like There is In all Mediums, ours included If I

See one of the Green brothers I aspire It's the green brothers We don't make the same kind of thing But I am like that's what I grew up on. This thing we just recorded yesterday. Yeah.

It's nothing like what we make, but to me, I'm like, oh, now this is real. I'm actually in stuff. Yeah. His presence on TikTok has more impact than literally any Bert Kreischer special that's ever been. Right, right. But it doesn't count to him

because he didn't grow up watching those TikToks. He grew up watching specials. And I do think there is like a, do you guys like me? Look, I'm doing jokes like you guys, right? Like I'm like old school comedy. Like if he grew up appreciating that kind of stuff, then those jokes are like we you and me we're the same i do jokes like you guys to me it does feel like what you're saying where

where like he doesn't want approval from the gen z audience that like catapulted him to this netflix special he wants to be a real comic because you know i i bring up boburn because he wasn't online he was youtube first right know i i bring up boburn because he wasn't online he was youtube first right and then you like saw this weird thing he was the youngest person ever to have a comedy central special and uh all this stuff where he like was suddenly catapulted to these spaces with these very big comedians and initially you know they didn't respect him this this guy from the internet overall like over time they did respect him even though he didn't do the thing that all the comics uh uh mythologize where it's like they

didn't tour for 10 takes 10 years to find your voice and uh dude everybody struggles straight up you gotta there is i mean yeah there is a struggle for the art narrative to stand up every every i've listened to stand-up podcasts for my whole life and every fucking stand-up is like it takes 10 years to find your voice and you've got a tour and you've got to work different rooms and blah blah like and uh and that he obviously doesn't have that he's got his netflix special and he didn't have that background to my knowledge i don't actually know he's probably too young to like a limited amount of time. Like, Brandon Wardell started very young. Yeah.

But literally was not alive long enough for it to be a huge grind. It was, you know, popped off when he was like 20, started at 16, I think I heard him say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot of time. A lot of time honing a craft. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't have to be 10 years of sucking. Yeah.

The reason I had to be 10 years of sucking at one point is that you had to be exceptional to get versus everyone else to get any attention because. Yeah. No mediums existed other than touring. Yeah. And I guess Comedy Central specials. All right. Well, that. That's something.

It's interesting. I mean, I look. Hey, you try you try it you're gonna comment so much about stand-up you you you you try it you offended much i fucking got your ass dude click on my instagram link well anyway i mean hey maybe we don't know what we're talking about we end every episode of tab with a we we just keep it going he's done with a particular phrase we love you and we're sorry sad boys nights on patreon.com slash sad boys here's a little clip from whatever happens in the nights episode do you want to do riz academy for the yeah let's pull them up this is riz academy five okay so i have a few theories about what happened to Riz Academy's 1 through 4. There's so many things that are like why this type of content shouldn't exist. Excuse me, if I get bit by a spider, I become Spider-Man.

If you bite me, can I be your man? girl how you doing how you moving girl moving girl how she's delicate that future girl future girl yeah we on now take my money go away all you wanted go too rich for me