Sad Boyz - We Ranked Every White Guy (w/ Ted Nivison)

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

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Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things. Also, I'm Jarvis. Howdy. I'm Jordan. Beep boop beep boop. What's up, bitches? I'm Ted. Whoa! Hey, how's it going? The guest introduced himself. You know no one's ever done that.

Really? Yeah, I'm actually glad you're the first. We need to cut it, actually. I mean, you've got like some of those guys coming on that are not seasoned professionals of podcasting. You've got little virgins. You've got virgins like Eddie Burback. Yeah, exactly. And virgins like Drewgins you got virgins like eddie burback yeah exactly virgins like drew gooden and virgins like connor well no they're not virgins anymore they got married they got married eddie that's a virgin so yeah they're virgins yeah fuck yeah dude

hell yeah let's kill him we got we got ted no we got ted for a little bit longer than we should cut it out but i won i one time in my life i said uh ted division out loud and i think about it every single time i say you do i think i said it on stream and then people corrected me like because i think it was maybe like you had sent me merch which i'm by the way shout out he's wearing it he's wearing it right now i actually haven't even got this. The version that I have is like a really crispy, not real version of the actual cloth that they use. I know what you mean. But, yeah. I mean, the thing I get from people the most is they're like, yeah, for the longest time, I thought that your name was a play on television it would be a good

play i can't accept it at all what do you mean tempted use the brand like a toss point 10 division well uh turn on the ted division i feel like that would just like it would curse me to a life of not being no one would ever say yeah you'd It would be like Pokemane. It's like Emon. And that was the joke because it's Pokemon. What about if you... Yeah, exactly. So they just say Poke...

You could open every single video being like, do not adjust your Technovision. Pretty good. Everyone turn on your Technovision. You should do it now. I don't know if I want that. Everyone press Alt F4 on your tetanovisions. Yeah. You should do it now. I don't know if I want that. Everyone press Alt F4 on your computadora. You're going to lose a lot of retention if you do that.

No, wait. Hold on. Fire away. I didn't think this through. He has a drop off directly. Ted's here to join us today. We, in typical Subway's fashion, before the pod, started talking about filling prescriptions. On ADHD meds?

On ADHD meds. On ADHD meds. So we could resume that now. This is essentially our version of Bible study. Yeah, we are all ADHD havers. Ted is an Adderall boy. And you've actually- I'm not. You were.

You were a concerta. I'm so sorry. It's okay. I knew it was concerta. Hey, hey. I knew it was concerta. No, you're all right. You're all right.

You're all right, baby boy. I corrected myself. And we know it's Ted Nivison um yeah it is ted nivison and uh well no so you uh so we were both diagnosed as adults and you were diagnosed very young yeah i was diagnosed when i was 13 and that's how much of a fucking problem i was they were like we will pay i think they pay like a couple grand or something to have me go and get tested like i remember taking the date off of school right and then like it was like we started in the morning and then i even got to go get lunch and i remember

going and getting mozzarella sticks somewhere i'm a fucking slut for mozzarella for a decade i've always liked mozzarella sticks and like even ed can attest to this because he was with me for an extended period of time going to places that just had normal Americanized food twice. And both times I would. Well, actually, Margaritaville didn't really have mozzarella sticks, but I would very frequently order mozzarella sticks at Rainforest Cafe. I would do the same. I used to I used to eat. I think a lot of people would relate to this, but growing up,

I didn't grow up with a lot of memes. You didn't grow up with a lot of memes? With a lot of memes. Not a lot of memes nor means. And my aunt, lot of memes or a lot and nor means and my aunt who was my legal guardian at the time we would just go to save a lot the uh the grocery store and would get like frozen stuff that we could like put in the oven and do you ever get the tgi friday's mozzarella sticks those so what's so funny is even to this day, things like that are like high end in my brain. Because we would get the like the cheaper.

Oh, like the Signature Select kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember getting those. I don't even remember what the like Save-A-Lot. Like a Save-A-Lot would be like an out. It was almost like an outlet store grocery store where sometimes they would have brand name stuff but it wasn't always and then like a tj maxx for mozzarella yeah yeah yeah where i where i remember i think banquet i i think banquet was something i did get the red box of uh of buffalo chicken tenders you know

exactly yeah like it's got like cursive writing as the banquet thing i think yeah and then but then mozzarella sticks would be like a nice treat i think there was an orange box of of mozzarella sticks i think it was a generic brand and they by all accounts were not good you know what i mean but they were so like amazing in my head yeah that it's like the trashy food that you eat that you still glorify yeah there's something about the difference between like the homemade like uh like heatable mozzarella sticks that is like kind of a different charm to it because they like half the time they would always kind of burst out like the cheese would burst out and then would like crisp up on like and then kind of create like a little every single time i the amount of times and if you you as a mozzarella connoisseur, you know this.

The amount of times that I would pull the thing out of the oven and all of the cheese of every single one of the mozzarella sticks was on the side. And they were just like little breaded husks. Yeah. Like empty breaded husks. Unfortunately, yes. It's happened many a time. Like a creme brulee. Getting one that was actually intact and had like the cheese, like that was yeah it was like a treat oh your honor it was like getting it was like getting a

shiny out of the egg yeah which is funny because it's like you'd expect that they'd all you know that's how theoretically it's theoretically but you know those ones were that was the the true that was our true god i think there's something kind of uh exciting as a kid as well i didn't grow up with a microwave i don't know if anybody uses those for those but having a like a 20 minute wait on some iceland brand zone nuggets the anticipation you'd be able to build 20 minutes a year as a kid you just if anything like that probably maybe because microwaves i mean i don't use microwaves that often like i'm i I got older, it was like we had a microwave when I was a kid. And, like, we would, you know, heat stuff up. But then the adult option eventually became heat it up in the oven because you retain crispness.

You don't get flop. I think that there's a – so I used a – I mean, I microwave a reasonable amount for reheating because sometimes I'm just too impatient for the, you know, the oven option. Yes. And there is an art to microwaving. The amount of like little tips and tricks that you can do with paper towels and water and, you know, putting a cup of water in the microwave. Putting an ice cube in the microwave. Oh, yeah. Or reheating pizza by putting a wet paper towel over the pizza.

That's one of my personal favorites. I actually haven't heard of that PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM.

05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM.

05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. 05.30 PM. talking about um i don't know how we got on mozzarella sticks we were talking about we were talking about how um you were 13 you had mozzarella sticks when you took it off school to get your evaluation yeah you were self-medicating with mozzarella sticks yeah i don't know how it was for you guys too but like i remember when i was getting actually tested for it they would put a page in front of me and it would be like black and white lettering. And it would be a bunch of words that are colors.

Or actually, no. It would be different colored. It would be like blue text, but it says red. It's a sloop test, I believe. Is that what it's called? I think so. Yeah. So the first time through, it would be like, read the word.

And I'd be like, OK. And then the second time through, it would be like, read the color. And reading the color one was definitely harder because you'd be like looking at green and it's red and have to say red yeah like and they laugh at you if you get it wrong they they did yeah they did and then they like every time i would get one wrong they'd have this big red button and they would hit it and go yeah yeah no i don't think this was a test at all it was like that was easy button but it goes that was hard. Erm, okay.

Yeah, and every time I got it wrong, it would go, and then it had another staples button where it would say, you're an idiot. Yeah. Yeah, you don't have ADHD. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb. The hell? Yeah, but then getting a diagnosis for ADHD was very helpful for me because I was unable to do do school properly so it definitely kind of changed the trajectory of my academic life not like significantly to the point where i was like actually doing really well but you know i probably jumped a full gpa point like

one like one gpa i probably jumped i lucked out so much uh by um like you know some people are like good test takers like i was a good test taker and i didn't do any homework or anything and i scooted by on like being nice like i think i was like a teacher's pet or whatever or just like compared to the other kids around me was yeah relatively polite and so i think that they just like gave me a pass they were like i don't know he's doing good on the test because he's not making my day my daily life miserable my desk in at my because in elementary school we had uh permanent desks where like it was always mine and so it was like like a locker type thing well didn't they did it was it one of those where it had that sort of like weird ceramic top and then they had like a little curved thing where it was like kind of stuff?

Yes, it was like a metallic like little cubby. Yeah. Did it? Yeah. No. No, no. It was just like it was open. It was kind of open face.

It was an open face cubby. Oh, nice. Open face locker cubby thing. Yeah. Very artisanal, yeah. And. She could get crumbs are getting in there and stuff. Mine was full of homework that I didn't do.

Really? Yeah. And that was. You fucking idiot. No, that was great you're fucking dumbass but it was it was one of those things where uh i think that i lucked out in such a significant way because there wasn't i didn't have i think for younger people, were you hyperactive ADHD? Oh yeah. Physically active.

I can remember one time that, uh, the, I think it was like in sixth grade, the teacher was like, Hey Ted, can you go turn on the light? And I was like,

sure I can turn on the light. And I go over to the light and I go, and I, and now, so I was like kind of like a little class clowny, like, but like annoying. Like, you know, I'll be like, let there be light. And I turn on the light. And I remember and I did now so I was like kind of a little class clowny like but like annoying like I'll be like let there be light and I remember that

I remember the teacher like pull me aside later and be like hey so like when I ask you to like turn on the light can you like not make a huge fucking deal I just do it and I remember doing it next time they were like thank you for doing it normally I remember they said to me that I just want to let you know that fucking crushed that was really yeah that was actually safe yeah that was like i actually uh i'm actually playing madison square garden next weekend if you could open for me that was a classic ted division moment another thing i had too like i remember um like one of the teachers i had in elementary school i had a weird elementary school by the way we called our teachers by their first names whoa

yeah and we had our art class it's not called our class it was called sloyd uh which is like wait your class wasn't called your class no no no like when we went to art period like we had an art period like on like tuesdays i think um and it wasn't called like art time or art class it was called sloyd s-l-O-Y-D, which is like a- I don't think you went to school. I think you just went to a place. No, this was just like during the week, you'd have a music class that you would go to on Wednesday sometimes.

Like during the day. I can't remember my schedule back then. I remember Wednesdays were just- I knew that it was music. Yours was like a year ago. But okay. Wait, so Sloyd, what was Sloyd? Sloyd is like, I looked it up at one point

it wasn't exactly what sloid was it was like kind of like an adjustment to it but it was basically like um like we did word working in elementary school is it a is it a acronym for something sloid um it's like a swedish or like some sort of it was some some sort of word that was not, I don't know. But it was basically like an education technique that was coined by some guy up there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like about teaching kids how to do woodwork when they're young and stuff. Oh, wow. But yeah, we also called our teacher.

I would say that going to that elementary school, the choice of my parents wanted me to go there was like helpful for like me developing to who i was because it was like yeah you called the teachers by the first names but it was also there was a lot of um like it was a public school too like it wasn't like a private school or anything like that but it was just like the weird public school because it was like in the district there was like five elementary schools you could go to and you would enter into a lottery and like choose your top ones and then you would go to the one that you ended up at um and that one just like had a focus on like art and stuff and it also had like um like a high sort of capacity for um supporting like special needs kids and stuff so like you could also like go and work like and

so i feel like i also like worked a lot with like i learned a lot about like special needs kids and stuff but i also like grew up with a cousin who had like cerebral palsy too so i right so like i don't know like i feel like going to that school like helped me kind of become like yeah yeah like the person i am today in terms of like being aware of like being into art and stuff but also like being aware of just like different people different people maybe a little bit more accepting of a diagnosis for example yeah yeah like it was just like kind of but oh what i was gonna say was the teacher that one of the ones that kind of figured out how to deal with me like when i was a kid i had a really hard i don't know if this was the same for you guys but i had a really hard time with like transitions to different things so like oh

if i'm really into doing something like really into connects yes also this is a very adhd thing yeah the context shifting or the yeah what's the word just i guess it would be like yeah or like transitioning from one thing to another it was really stressful to like finish lunch and go back to class yeah because you just you're just really into whatever you're doing and i remember that the teacher today by the way when when when we go he will be sat here on the couch. Yeah, I definitely don't get upset. I think I used to get upset about it when I was a kid, though. And I remember the teacher, the way that they solved it

was that they were like, I used to go by Teddy when I was in a relationship. So they were like, all right, Teddy, they made me in charge of letting everyone else know that it was time to change. So it kind of gave me agency in a way over that transition, which I thought was really, I guess, helpful for that teacher. That's cool. I think it's really awesome that I had a similar experience with like people

almost taking me under their wing a little bit. They didn't owe me anything but just like teachers who kind of guided me on the right path because i i at home this is no like i just my family life there wasn't that guidance because no one like sort of academically knew what was going to be set me up for success yeah um one thing before we get off on which is i may have said this before but it's so funny um so in the uh there there's like a i don't agree with the terminology but people know the like a gifted kid stuff here where it's like gifted you know remember what like i don't know if we had that when i was younger but like i definitely know i've heard about a lot like gifted children thing and like yeah i don't even what, like, I don't know if we had that when I was younger, but like, I definitely know. I've heard about it a lot. Like gifted children thing.

And like, I don't even know what people's opinion is on it. Like if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Is that synonymous with like AP? Well, in elementary school, it's like I just got taken out of class and went to a special math class and stuff. But then that was a thing it but kind of created this like two class system in the school where like you know i was like also made fun of and like bullied for being a gifted kid and stuff what the fuck but that's whatever that's whatever i also looked weird so the um and i had a gap in my teeth so there's lots of stuff to make fun of

i had a cesarean section scar on my head and i had a buzz cut. C-section, you know, when you're born. Yeah, so like I was born via C-section. And so I have a scar to this day at the top of my head and like a little bald spot from like some sort of complication. And your hair was short enough at the time. And my hair was short. So people would always make fun of me for that as well. What the fuck?

There are just lots of things to make fun of kids for. Just from every angle. Yeah. Oh, my God. I also had a lot of allergies and my nose was always running. So people make fun of me for that. But there are just lots of things to make fun of just from every angle yeah oh i also had a lot of allergies and my nose was always running so people make fun of me for that but anyway they didn't have to make fun of me i'm sorry it's fine they didn't have to make fun of me for the get the gifted class or quote unquote but the teacher of the class it was like taught by these two scottish ladies and named dr goddessman and mr schmidt and they were awesome because

they were the ones who were like telling me that, oh, you should go to this middle school and you have to like apply for it. And you have to like write a little essay, but I think you should do it. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll do that. Cause like who else was going to tell me? Right. You know what I mean? Like, and then I ended up, you know, one of my, um, my best friends from childhood,

uh, my friend Russell, who I met when I was 11 in middle school, his family became like a second family to me. And they're all amazing. But one day I was at his house, as I often was, and I found out that like Dr. Gottesman was like his SAT tutor. And I was like, oh, that was my math teacher at elementary school it's my hero it's like so they knew higher than elementary level math but also they would always go back to like scotland and they would bring like sweets and stuff oh do they bring like shortbread and stuff they would bring pudding a lot of it was uh taffy and i'm like taffy and i was like why were they bringing like where did you get this is that a thing they would i don't know if it was

from scotland or whatever because they did bring other treats yeah get this is that a thing dude i don't know if it was from scotland or whatever because they did bring other treats yeah but specifically there was a lot of talk about saltwater taffy interesting and i'm like where does saltwater taffy come from i thought that was i feel like saltwater taffy comes from any vacation spot yeah i mean they're you know like across the board it's just like there's always saltwater taffy but anyway shout out to it just made me think about like i I'm like, man, do teachers, teachers who have such a important impact on people's lives, having to like supplement their income with like private tutoring also.

I'm like, you know, in retrospect, you like contextualize all these things and you're like, man, we need to pay teachers more. And having like a national level of disrespect, especially if you teach like elementary. Yeah. Oh, not sharp enough, huh? Like the more I think about like, like as I'm, as I'm getting older, I often think about like, oh, like what's the lore of like my lifebased stuff around like editing and stuff if my dad didn't like when i was a kid i was like i really wanted like a laptop to be able to play minecraft on and my dad was like oh no what we're gonna do is we're gonna like because my dad is um

he is like a project manager and like works from home on his computer a lot and like he like just like he went to school for computer science so like he knows about computers um and he was like no you're not gonna get a laptop we're gonna build a computer so like it was that sort of involvement for my dad of like this is the route you want to go it's like it's very interesting how like people like no one is like the product of just themselves like everyone is the product of like of like you know society and like the people raise you and stuff so like and your expectations for yourself are reflective of that yeah you set standards based on what x person said you should be regardless of them like not being an authority like yeah kids i knew that were the same age as me they're like this is what it means to be a grown yeah. Yeah. I was able to get a really old, like, I haven't seen a computer like this in such a long time.

But you know how we call like a tower PC, a tower PC? Well, the opposite of that is like a computer that sits down like this. Landscape. And I had one like this old tan i think we got it oh like off-white yeah off-white my aunt worked at a nursing home so it was either something that they were it was so old like like uh it only took floppy disks dude i think i know what you're talking you know what i mean like did you put the monitor on top of it yeah a lot of people would because uh even though the monitors were super fucking huge and uh uh weighed like heavy yeah um because the plastic around these things was like this

thick yeah and it was like metal i think like it was like i don't remember but the it was like so i i don't even think it ran like maybe it ran like windows 98 maybe but i remember installing my aunt when she got a computer at her house i remember installing windows the thing about technology and i keep talking uh and i have questions for you but um the one thing i wanted to say was uh the people around me kind of gave me they knew that i like to tinker and play with stuff so they would always like give me even though we didn't have like access to like expensive technology it would be like my my aunt my great aunt was setting up her computer and then they would have like the eight-year-old installing the os you know what i mean it's like because i i knew more i guess

like i intuitively yeah do stuff there's like a dismiss I knew more, I guess, like intuitively to like do stuff. I think there's like a dismissiveness that I even have now. I can feel it developing towards little iterative changes in technology. Yeah. Like my mom was, people would like, especially our extended family,

because we're like very grumpy northerners kind of thing. They, a lot of the time would be like, oh, okay, a bigger screen for a computer? They're releasing that now? We're talking about like a... You're telling me we're getting more real estate? 500 megabits of RAM? Okay, your majesty, Jesus.

You're telling me it's going to take five minutes to turn on that computer and not ten? My mom exclusively worked from home when i was when i was really young and we would move around a fair bit so when we finally were saying in in one place for an extended period of time she was like okay i'm gonna get a proper computer this is like 2002 yeah you can get a computer room like computer in the corner of wherever and we're gonna use that for work and i was obsessed with this pc to the point where i pretended to like football so that i could play fifa on it the only game installed fifa 99 and uh i would just be like you end up liking football because of like that sort

of reinforcement uh super mad no at all it really didn't work i. At one point, if you played the practice mode, one team would just be called attack and one team would be called defense. And I was under the impression for years that a team was just called attack. And I was like, I love ATK. That's my favorite. That's your epic. Yeah. Brazil versus probably defense.

But it is like at that point in time i was like so compelled i'm really hoping about i'm actually feeling like defense might actually win it this year yeah the world cup final between brazil and defense do you see that ludicrous display last night from attack yeah that's crazy and then trying to do specific names i named schumacher once he was a famous f1 driver yeah michael schumacher i was just like schumacher's having an incredible season that's amazing they were like shut up we didn't like you before you said that now we like you less dude i remember like back in the day when like we had a computer and i was like in the basement and like that was like where you could act like i didn't have like i wasn't one of those kids that had like a computer in their room or something like that like that

that the notion of like me having a computer in my room ever when I'm a kid or having a phone before I'm 13 is like just insane to me. I was like working. I remember the computer was on the floor when I was a kid and I would lie like either crisscross applesauce or like on my stomach while like on like noodling on the computer dude tv lens lent against the corner in the room family guy dvd oh yeah what was your guys's first gaming console uh so mine was well real quick i want to say that on my aunt's computer that was like windows 98 do you know the game glover yeah it released on pc and uh it's about like a hand or in like a

ball or like a ball i don't even remember now i remember there's a ball i do not remember the gameplay at all but yeah i remember it kind of creeped me out um but anyway it's haunting like just the design is quite creepy my first game console was my same aunt that worked at the nursing home had won uh probably like shortly after i was born won a sega genesis in a raffle whoa and it was just in the uh in the closet like she wanted out a work raffle and she was like i'm not gonna i don't know how to play a video game and so when i was oh that's terrifying when i was a kid. Oh, that's terrifying. When I was a kid. That's terrifying. She would never use it. I was like five or six years old. They were like, he'll figure it out. And then we like brought it out.

And then I played like Sonic 2 on the Sega Genesis. And that was my first gaming experience. My first was a Nintendo 64. Because I got it as a hand-me-down from my cousin. Nice. I didn't have one. My friends did. And my cousins had a PS2,

which kind of woke my brain. The earliest memory I have is playing my friend Joel's PS1. Hercules movie tie-in game, which was now in retrospect, I try and like, for the most part, shake off nostalgia glasses when it comes to media. Cause then you go back and I still love friends. And you go back and they're like, Oh, that's a trans guy. Let's run. I try and like, for the most part, shake off nostalgia glasses when it comes to media. Because then you go back and I still love Friends.

And you go back and they're like, oh, it's a trans guy. Let's run. And you're like, oh, Jesus, I don't want to watch this anymore. I feel that way about like Hercules, the movie tie-in game. I'm not going to replay it because it is perfect. It is. There's nothing bad about it. It's magic.

I mean, when I played it as a kid i'm like but i'm moving it i didn't finish a lot of games like that when i was a kid like i never i hadn't mario 64 couldn't it for the life of me could not figure out how to finish that game like if i was so dumb as a kid yeah when it came to video games that like and oftentimes i feel like i would use video games as sort of like a platform in which existed in a similar way to like action figures in which I would like, especially when games like, I remember there was this PS2 game that was like the Hulk game for PS2. Ultimate Destruction? Yeah. And like you could run around and throw tanks and stuff.

And I remember I would just, I don't even know if the game had an objective because in reality once I was able to just do whatever I wanted, that's all I did. That, I remember trying to play i got a nintendo 64 late uh and i probably talked about this before but like we uh what year i don't remember but we're also very young so it's like yeah it's like hard to remember but i remember we ordered it out of fingerhead magazine and it was after i think that later in the launch uh of the nintendo 64 was when they added the other color versions of the console oh like the i don't think it was that launch yeah like all the see-through plastic yeah i had a green see-through one so the green see-through one was what i wanted and then my mom ordered it through fingerhut magazine which is like a pay-as-you-go thing where you probably pay like twice as much but you get to do monthly payments 200 api and then i remember i i didn't put into uh i didn't put into perspective how

because i was a kid how we were like maybe couldn't afford these things and she was like just doing it so that i had like a normal childhood because when my mom passed, we had like a lot of debt from like this, from this, like some of these things, but it's all fine. But I,

we ordered the green one and then a normal black one came and that was heartbreaking, but heartbreaking for my like little. Yeah. I mean, I can imagine it's like, it's like, it must've seemed so much less. I mean the can imagine it's like it's like it must have

seemed so much less i mean the see-through aspect yeah it was like it was clout it was clout for sure but um uh legend of zelda majora's mask which is like still to this day one of my favorite games uh and i think has aged really well i would sit with my friend mal Malcolm with the like game guide open and we'd be trying to go through the dungeons and even with directions on how to do everything we still couldn't do I mean even interfacing with the

controller when you have a child brain interfacing with a controller especially an N64 one which is built for like tendrils and like additional fingers weirdest design of control I've ever seen but like like did anyone use the left that left yeah what was that for who is it for yeah because you you definitely held the other two sides it was definitely like like this you know when you you drive a car you put your left hand on the center you put it right in the horn i do remember uh i never i didn't get a

original xbox during its launch window but i i got a lot of things late because it was cheaper to get them late yeah and uh golden gamecube for me yeah the i got morrowind um for the i want to say the original xbox during its like collector game of the year edition or whatever where i think the the case was silver the elder scrolls 3 just to age myself and uh but much was said about how bulky the original xbox controller was oh yeah it was a grown-up controller because it's like for little kid xbox yeah for little kid hands so the size of a kid's head so there's even an old um penny arcade comic from like the early 2000s where they're like sitting on a couch and behind them is they say a regular size xbox controller it's as big as the couch

yeah like behind them i remember thinking like gaming is for grown-ups now because i was like struggling to hold it with my flimsy little wrist. And it's rounded as well. So it's like it's designed not to hold. Yeah, it was like kind of designed to look like this. Man, Xbox has always had trouble. I learned some stuff recently. Just period.

If that's the end of the sentence. Oh, name one. Name one thing you've one thing that was interesting was uh i watched a video from um this creator mini kudos uh about the red ring of death on xbox 360s oh yeah and because i didn't know what caused it and then i also didn't know did you i don't think i ever knew what caused it well i think because it took a long time for it to come out basically but uh one of the one of the most interesting things about the xbox 360 production did you know that that their production line had a 50 failure rate fuck you so so 50 of the consoles that were created failed and they

didn't know why so before sending them out so the five percent or whatever five percent failure rate or whatever or the red ring of death eventually had for whatever percentage was the 50 of consoles that actually worked off of the production line and then the other 50 went to this warehouse they called the bone yard and they were trying to figure out what was wrong with the consoles and they like couldn't figure it out. That seems like the most insane problem that I almost never heard about. Because I feel like if there's issues with like consoles or like issues with games or like something like the, I don't know, the King Kong game that came out that like fucking blows. Like shit like that it's like or or the the production problems with the ps5 it was like it's like that's like a big right we're like we

gotta we gotta fix this that is what you're describing right now is far bigger than any of those things but the thing is like that was all secret that was all hush hush because um they so like mic Microsoft took a lot of L's for like that. And I think that they strategically took the correct L's because the red ring of death thing happened. And then there, so that started to develop like months after they were already in people's hands because you had to be turning on and off the console allegedly what the problem was was that due to some eu regulations with um lead in production uh like what like the amount of lead that could be in something that you are selling i don't know they uh they had to use a

non-lead solder like for for soldering the the stuff inside of the um inside of the casing and when it when it was heated and cooled and heated and cooled over it would start to crack because it wasn't as good as and um there's some other things where like microsoft decided to build their own graphics card i think in-house rather than like subcontracting it out to somebody and that could have contributed to it but ultimately like came down to the soldering situation where Nowadays, I think there's like how to's on how to fix it if you like have an old 360 and like you can You can replace parts or like do redo the thermal paste and stuff to like fix this issue But I mean you guys get did you either you guys get the red ring of death i never

had the 360 oh really i did get it right i got an xbox very uh 360 very late because they completely won that generation like partially because the ps3 was so expensive and hard to that was a huge one up for yeah but they dominated so by the time that like they really did playing games i wanted to play games and then they lost and then they proceeded to lose every generation after well so well microsoft also speaking of getting blocked by the eu like just wrapped up a years-long negotiation to buy activision yeah because the eu doesn't like gambling yeah so they were just like no you can't buy call of duty and do that which there has to be like competitiveness in the market right and they were just like please fucking please yeah they just said please for you i think there was like an antitrusting in

the u.s too with yeah there was definitely an sec an sec thing about approving the merger as well but england tried to save you but no um the the last thing about the xbox 360 was um the thing that saved them which ended up having them win the generation as the story goes because i don't you know know the first hand details of this but as the story no was it the uno xbox arcade release so um you seem so confused but there was uno on every on every xbox 360 i do remember that but oh yeah so so basically they about fixing the red ring of death i don't know if you remember but if you had the red ring of death, I don't know if you remember, but if you had the red ring of death, you could send it into Microsoft and they would fix it free of charge.

If it happened within three years of purchase or some amount of time. That's pretty generous. It was. So basically they had to go to Steve Ballmer, who at the time was the CEO of Microsoft. And they had to say, hey, if we do this, which like, here's what we would need to do.

And then he's like, how much is it going to cost? It costs one over $1 billion to do this support thing. Fix all the Xboxes? To basically offer to fix any Red Ring of Death, which is like,

basically like ruins their profit in the short term, right? But he said, let's do it. And then it ended up like generating a lot of goodwill with consumers because it felt instead of feeling like microsoft wasn't doing something about it it felt like they at least were or there was actually something that you could do oh yeah and then also it was because it was already such a successful console in terms of like what people

were playing and all the first party titles and stuff that that momentum could have been halted if they had like a ton of bad blood from like not fixing people's consoles so it's interesting this was a peak console war so yeah like once you have some allegiance to either brand you're going to stick with it for another complete generation yeah i think it was like hubris that kind of it was like kind of trading hubris that fucked uh sony with the ps3 and then fucked microsoft with after the 360 and the ps3 they're just like what if it costs more yeah it's insane how little i know about whatever xbox equivalent to the ps5 is right now oh i recently got a series s just to try it if i could play game pass it's gonna chill first of all horrific controller oh really like like we are

level controller it clicks whenever you use the triggers it is isn't that the one where they have the like pro controller equivalent where it costs like 150 dollars yeah it feels like a trap um yeah and like and then you got the ps5 controller where in some instances when you're playing a game it actually gives you like the feeling of a trigger incredible haptic feedback like you can feel rain in some games yeah i was gonna ask you i genuinely do not know the difference i know that one of them is lower feeling of a trigger. Incredible haptic feedback. You can feel rain in some games. Yeah. I was going to ask you,

I genuinely do not know the difference. I know that one of them is lower end and one of them is higher end, but the difference between the Series S and the Series X. The Series X is the competitor to the PS5, operating at roughly the same level. And then the Series S is the more competitively priced one, much lower. And it maybe is intended for more casual position. Some stuff runs great great the issue with the series s right now is a lot of developers literally can't

develop for it so like balder's gate is not out on xbox because microsoft right now has what it's a pretty cool cool policy but it's just becoming unviable which is that every single xbox release has to be available on pc and series s if it comes out it has to be across all of their stuff and like baldur's gate just can't have the split screen that they promised because you can't render that much on it right and it's i don't know i like it just fine because i'm just playing old xbox games right yeah the cloud streaming or whatever but it is like it's nice to have a more accessible console for people that like can't afford the chunkier ones.

Yeah, right. I was chatting with Tucker about this recently. You met Tucker. Carlson. No, he's on Chuckle Sandwich. He's like the producer of Chuckle Sandwich and he is... He's also a hometown friend of yours.

Yeah, yeah, no, he's my best friend. I've known him for 10 years. More than that, actually. But he was talking about how the feeling hometown friend of yours yeah you know he's he's my best friend i've known for 10 years um more than that actually but um he was talking about how the feeling when you turn on a ps5 is like old gaming almost where it's like you turn that on and it's like it's like like it's a world you're opening into and it's like this beautiful menu and stuff and it's like if you were to turn on like an xbox one or some like xbox series x it's like it's like it's like you're going to work it's like you're clocking it feels like booting up a desktop to like find the game you want to play that's so funny yeah it's like it's like you know

turn on the ps5 and it's like it's like it's like i'm being i'm like floating through like a space and i'm like bring me to heaven like when it plays the little you hit the control each yeah so quaint and then it fades in into your profile picture it's like yeah we game in bro yeah it's like great it reminds me similarly of how it felt to turn on a ps2 yeah welcome to the gamer zone in 5-4 I was like, it's like, I'm entering cyberspace. Welcome to the gamer zone in five, four. I was a game cube guy and I did enjoy turning on the game cube. Oh yeah. That was

the, what's interesting is despite the PS fives production issues, they, it's still, people were like, I would rather wait for a PS five. I will take the uglier control the uglier like console yeah i was uh i was technically a bastard in terms of supporting

this the demand for this but i did order a ps5 third party because i wanted it bad yeah i i actually got i don't know what i would have done because it wasn't like that important for me to get a ps5 but it there was a yeah that's fair yeah it was it really wasn't important like I know exactly what you're talking about but it was agonizing to don't have but it was a thing where like it was like the hot thing of the moment and I I now in retrospect I'm realizing how lucky I think I immediately realized how lucky I got but I just went to the Walmart website and it was available and I just pressed the button and I got it and then later on you're seen online and it's like nobody can get a PS5 people are killing their dogs and killing their friends to get a PS5 I got it like to build it

with organs I got it the first week there were no games to play but I felt some sense of accomplishment because I'd done this a difficult thing you just start moving around the menu going left yeah look at this look at how smooth the menu is we should play together netflix on my ps5 yeah oh shit okay broke it's it's it's criminal how little i've played my ps5 given how long i've had it because i've had it the entire release time and i like play it but like not like i think the most i played it was elden ring because i played it on console yeah i don't know about you but i like have there's a lot of games that i have on my ps5 that also exist in my computer because sometimes i'm like i should get this on the ps5

so i can play it on the couch i did make the bastards move of uh buying balder's gate on the pc and the ps5 which what's the proper i actually haven't played balder's gate on the PC and the PS5. Which, what's the proper, I actually haven't played Baldur's Gate, so like, what's the proper one to play it on? Okay, well, in the case of PS5. Oh, oh, I see you're taking my merch off. Is that, is there a problem with my merch that you needed, are you ripping it off your body? Oh, I'm just going to put it over my face because I think it's just a more beautiful

sight this way. Is that Ted? Yeah. Hell yeah. It's kind of, I mean mean to describe the feel of it awful bad like itches i think i'm having an allergic reaction oh well you're talking for a second i thought you were talking about the ps5 yeah when you're outside itches why when i turn it on with my tongue

yeah i recommend i guess i recommend the p uh the pc version but i just have the reason i even got a ps5 i got it really late but i ended up getting it because i just don't play pc games i just don't want to be at my desk where i work where i spend so much time yeah and yeah this is something that's happened to me too where it's like unless i'm playing an online game with people or like like where i'm streaming or something it is uh something about the last two years of my life it has become insanely uncontrollably uncomfortable to play a game like at the computer for some reason like i have to be on a couch i have to be controller in hand i gotta be gaming that sensation gaming that like

ps5 booting up sensation just not only do you not get it on pc but even if i had a ps5 at a desk or something i can't be upright that's not fun yeah i need it i need it like currently this position i'm in right now this is perfect gaming position right now i've been doing a lot of gaming from or just in general i spend a lot of time lying in my bed yeah and currently i have a tv in my room dude you got a tv in your room that's i guess i could i could do that myself but that sounds so cool i know well that's the thing it's like fun it's it's risky it's the first time i think ever maybe since i was a kid because when I was a kid, eventually I had a little TV in my room for my Nintendo 64. But yeah, it feels like I'm cheating.

It feels like it's not allowed. It's the first time since college that I've gone for it, and I almost regret it. Like, I'm entering the gamer zone, which is nice. Little beanbag gamer zone. But it's the first thing that's there i'm still the guy that like i'll watch netflix like this in my in my in my bed yeah so like that okay like watching like a netflix show so i do that and i have a tv in my room isn't that weird like you're just a brat is what that means i think you're in control there's a certain intimacy that like it's almost

like it's a sensory thing it's like where do i want to experience yeah like there's a certain intimacy that like, it's almost like it's a sensory thing. It's like, where do I want to experience? Yeah. Like there's something with like the headphones where it feels just like closer to me. I also think it's like, Oh,

you, you don't hurt from the headphones. I would say it's, it's hit or miss long periods of time. So long periods of time, usually I'll take them out. Yeah. Awesome.

Yeah. I guess with like a TV, I guess that's probably why I haven't ever had a TV in the in the room because i know that like if i was watching something in bed i'm gonna want to be horizontal and like to look at the tv from that angle like like that doesn't seem right like if you got the phone there it's like it's part of the sleeping positioning that's the value of quibi you know i think that's why we're all so on board right remember the vertical video streaming website quibi that died almost immediately it was a billion dollar website and it was like all of the big heads of all the networks were supporting it and it did so badly you don't remember it no no i know what you're talking about when i'm like yeah i never

had it though no no no one did the whole pitch was that you can turn it in real time and you'll see different parts of that's stupid the cinematography had to be bad um that must i feel bad for the dps on those shoots so i will say that you know if you're not that this is something that i've done but hypothetically if you're like cuddling up with a significant other in bed and you want to turn on love is blind you've got the tv right there it's nice that's true that is nice or if you don't say like or love them particularly you can turn away because you've got your phone and when they ask what you're watching you just don't say you grunt maybe you're i'm on i'm gaming okay so i'm playing castle crash you're ruining it i'm playing bruce tower defense five leave me alone we got off of this topic, but before the show, we were talking about ADHD and we were talking about how you have been diagnosed since you were 13 or 11.

13, I think. When is someone in seventh grade? 13. Or 12, 13. Yeah, seventh grade. 13 or 12 13 um the uh so so you came up stare the stairs and you were like i'm unmedicated right now yeah and i was like whoa because i know of you as someone who's like frequently medicated not even that but just like having like uh i was like oh ted someone who's been taking these meds for a long time.

Yeah. What is that even like to be unmedicated? Well, that's like slammering. I've gone through like periods of time where I haven't been medicated for like a year or something like that. Okay. Like when I got out here to L.A., I spent at least a year unmedicated. because it was like like to be honest for most of college like my mom would go to and sent she would send me my medication oh it's it's like an executive function thing it's not like uh life's kind of changing maybe i'll take a little break yeah like yeah no no it was definitely an

executive function of like i got out here wholly unrealistic for when i'm when i'm 20 when i spent 20 when i was 22 for my mom to still be sending me medication from massachusetts um so i was like okay kind of like a little small drug dealer of sorts yeah honestly do you have to get it approved and then if you move to a different state just like redo it um no but like i definitely should probably go get tested for hd just to kind of have something newer because i like the evidence like i had like an iep and stuff and and in high school and um i didn't know that you just mentioned having to get evaluated every year i haven't done that ever well okay so when i say that i get evaluated every year it's not necessarily like

i go and i get tested for hd like it's basically I do a telehealth thing. So the way it works in California is that you like every year you need to have like a referral or something from a psych from a psychiatrist or a psych some sort of psych person. And then you also need to like go in and talk to the person who's prescribing you like every three months. And you also can't get refills for them. So they have to be individual prescriptions every month interesting so it's very i know about very controlled substance yeah i have a regular psychiatrist that i meet with that i've had for maybe the past like three years and i wonder if they've just taken care of this that is exactly what's happening because i have the same thing with my guy yeah okay okay yeah yeah so i don't have a specific psychiatrist

like the last two years in LA, I have just called someone on telehealth and been like, hey, I have ADHD. And then they're like, they just asked me if I experienced things. And then I talk. And then I just explain what my life is like. And then they're like, yeah,

so you definitely have ADHD. You may continue to have adhd and continue to get medicine for that um but yeah that year i spent was just i don't know i was like i was still working i was posting videos and stuff but then at a certain point i think i was like okay i think i want to get back on it because i think i had a period where i was maybe on too much and it was giving me like anxiety but i think it was just really what i wasn't doing was i just wasn't taking it like consistently i would take it like when i needed to be able to focus that's like medication like

yeah yeah caffeine yeah it's just like not how it works like you kind of like need to stay on it for a period for it to consistently work because it's like i don't know but i've been off it for long enough that it's like my brain is settled like the dust is settled in a way yeah um so like i don't know i i feel like i'm in a place now where i can like operate and kind of constantly fight against the general like like if i like for instance if i if i was on it on and on it and then i got off and for one day i'm gonna be fucking the worst like i'm gonna be interrupting people i'm gonna be like i'm gonna be a little piece of shit but like right now i feel like i'm operating generally in a in seemingly a somewhat medicated way but also you have like your own

coping strategies outside of the medication yeah yeah it's a bunch of rubber bands in my brain. Yeah. There's just like so much awareness that you have over the years of like, what is this doing for me? Does that feel weird at all being diagnosed so young? Did you hit this point of like questioning the validity a little bit? Being like, well, I was a kid. Am I still that way? Like, is this the real me kind of i think it was like there was there would be conversations i would have occasionally with my mom where it was

like she would like this is nothing against her and like obviously being mom's hard and i love my mom and stuff but uh there would be sometimes where like we'd be having a conversation and if she didn't like how the conversation was going or something she would ask me if i took my medicine and that really bothered me that really pissed me off because it was like it was like no i'm still feeling what i'm feeling and i feel like what i'm saying is valid my feelings like that whether or not i'm taking my medicine is not is sort of that's that's like it was just like it like feels like a oh that's a little bit of like have you been drinking kind of thing yeah exactly and i just like a- It like feels like a, oh, that's a hip below the belt. Have you been drinking kind of thing? Yeah, exactly.

And I'm like, I'm not drunk. Like my opinions are not going to change if I take my medicine. Did you not value me for 13 years? Why? But yeah. One small ADHD related issue that I am dealing with currently, which is both a positive thing and in the immediate moment, a negative thing. Vyvanse just went generic.

What does that mean? So Vyvanse is the ADHD stimulant that I take, comparable to Adderall, but it's relatively new. And so I think that there's some regulation around this where there's a certain window of time where it's not allowed to either. The market doesn't allow for a generic to be produced, I guess, feasibly so that the company that created the drug can be financially rewarded for having created it. Right. rewarded for having created it right and then and then and then it goes generic so like anybody can make it and it's available to a wider array of people because um ostensibly it's cheaper right um but the issue is that my insurance covered my vivance the entire time that i've been taking it

and the few times that i've had issues with, with insurance at the pharmacy, it's always just like this weird thing where it's like, that'll be $400. And I'm like, I don't think that's right. It happened in January. No, this just,

sometimes it's like, I, it'll happen at like a CVS and then I'll have to go to a Walgreens. Oh really? It's fine. Yeah. It's like at the beginning of the year for me, almost on the dot, like it's like just the minimum thing with like covering the deduct they'll be like, oh, it's fine. It's like at the beginning of the year for me, almost on the dot, like it's like just

the minimum thing with like covering the deductible. Oh, the deductible, yeah. So like I'll have like my ADHD medicine is usually $10 at the pharmacy, but in January I have to pay $900 for it. I don't know what is causing this particular thing, but it's happened so many times that and usually the answer is just like go to a different pharmacy that it's something with like the insurance back and forth with the pharmacy but the issue right now is that it went generic and then all of the insurance are like well the generic is available so we're

going to stop covering the brand name oh uh but then the demand is so high now for the new generic that there's uh i'm on like a wait list until like november what or whatever to to get it and a lot of people switch to vivance during the initial day and that happened as well but this i think and there was some yeah so then there was an adderall shortage for the past couple years yeah i'm on concerta yeah for a lot for a while i was hearing about like the shortage and i was like i have not experienced it i think it's just like they the pharmacy i have they just don't have it like they're just like they just need to order more because i think i'm like i don't know if a lot of people take concerta like concerta is like kind of a fairly uncommon one i took i when i was in my you know i feel like i've tried every drug so you're taking concerted i have yes um and it wasn't for me yeah we each had a fuck around period before finding out why didn't you like it

um well so my issue is that i feel nothing for most of the drugs or i only feel side effects and it was like so when i took adderall i just got constipated and then i had like a really high heart rate and uh and if i accidentally drink caffeine like i drank you know there's two root beers that sorry you know there's a and w and amw there's ibc don't get there's ibc but of the two i would say the biggest ones one of them is caffeinated and one isn't oh and i know that at an airport one time i drank a sip of the non-cap or of the caffeinated one and i didn't realize no after taking adderall and uh i felt like i was in crank like i felt like i was going to die if my heart like slowed down you stopped running and the bomb would go yeah no literally it was crazy uh every single

time i saw a guy's if i'm still drinking caffeine it feels a little bit like uh if you're a cop you have to tell me thing i'm like if i were what does anything happen or change like you can still have it but i work about yeah oh yeah all the time took fucking tons of caffeine yeah i and so i'm definitely more sensitive to caffeine um with my vivance but if i eat that affects it and if i wait some time before like after taking the medicine to drink caffeine then that affects it but um yeah the is it going to be good long term the fact that that i think it'll be fine yeah but i and i think it'll be good for everyone long term because not everybody has like the same insurance plan and uh it it's just it's just cheaper and better for access but shout out to anyone who's currently waiting uh or is currently in a backlog right now because of the generic yeah i didn't even

recognize the my prescription shifted over my psych um emailed me the heads up about it but uh i like didn't i'd never seen the chemical name for vivance before because it had previously just been this like name brand start with meth uh i actually don't know what it is um my concern is methylphenidate respect isn't it weird that they would create, for each one, there is a generic name and the brand name, and the brand name always sounds overly complicated and kind of medical. Really? Well, like Adderall even.

That's not like a real word. Or the Motrigine is the generic for my Lamictal. Just call it like, feel swag. Do you think it's like a... Call it, call it like feel swag do you think it's like a swag pill call it call it go fast do you think it's um a thing where they want it there's like a little bit of uh authority in sounding medical oh yeah they want it to sound definitely a psychological object so it's like you want it to sound medical but also snappy and also adderall has like i think yeah like adderall it's like it's like ADD is in the name.

Like Adderall, it's like, okay, this is what you take for ADHD or something. And then like, I don't know, like Concerta is like, I think that there's like sort of in terms of English, there's like maybe like, it sounds kind of like concern, which is weird. Or even ER sounds like Latin, which makes it sound smart yeah there's like uh there's something in like there's definitely you know these companies are definitely spending a billion dollars to make sure that they're naming the things correctly vivant sounds like oh i'm defeating something if you want to go on five do you want to know

the generic name of vivance yeah it's uh liz dexamphetamine amphetamine at the end that's fun yeah dextro amphetamine the real ones dextero amphetamine i mean it feels that's such a such a weird experience of when you are finding the right medication or even switching over and you just ask your psych like so why would like this one work for me and not someone else like we don't know yet that's just to be honest i have no idea if concerta is the best medicine for me because it's the only medicine i've ever been on i i did it and then it worked but i actually don't know if it's like underworking like i you know it might be within my interest to like chop around and try out the other ones out but i also don't want to like be a like fucking up myself

you were saying that you get it so you can resell it so obviously for any of this which we're not sold a pill or two in college i'll admit oh shit oh that's the thing about getting diagnosed young is yeah you have a surplus for other people we are not experts uh we're just like in general like generally i've sold no more than five pills individual pills this is just a heads up like just to say because it's obvious psa psa we are not experts we're just talking about our own also that was a joke experience with with this stuff um but i would i would talk to my psych about that um he should you were curious i mean you want me to talk to my psych about that if you were curious. I mean, you want me to talk to your psych?

Yeah, yeah. I'll be like, hey, my buddy Teddy's got some advice. He's got a question for you. I waddle in. I've referred a lot of people to my psych, and I've not received a single referral bonus, free subscription, anything. At this point, Kyle, you don't get nothing. No last name.

Christ, no. Speaking of medication, and this is like, I think it's significant, but I stopped taking my antidepressant recently around my surgery time because I forgot. And then I just kept it moving because I was just like in bed recovering and wasn't thinking about it. And then it was like two weeks i hadn't taken it and i'm like how did you feel do you feel depressant because i'm all i've always felt

like i wasn't sure if it was doing anything like i think it's like helping the bottom bottoms but i hadn't i hadn't had a significantly bad like sort of valley mental health wise, though at TwitchCon I felt the worst I've like felt in forever. Really? That's when I noticed the greatest drop in medication. When I went back, flights fucked me up because I have such a regulated Lamotrigine. Like if I, I never forget my medication because if I don't take Lamotrigine,

I would like have to cancel the podcast. I'd be like, I have to go home. Nobody else that I know that takes it because my my dosage is so high but i start shaking it feels like my teeth are like this is a what type of medicine is this it's a uh stabilizer bipolar stabilizer oh yeah but it is the best i changed my life yeah and it's like i hate the way my body reacts to medicine because it's like a lithium thing? I felt nothing. So what? Is it like lithium or something like that? Or is it? It's a lot more passive than lithium.

An easier long term. Do you have to get like blood tests and stuff for it? No. It is controlled, but they are a lot more passive about it. I mean, Lamotrigine for me at this point is just, actually Katie described the experience of not having it best, which is if you are on Lamotrigine,

driving way less stressful if you're somebody that's stressed about driving when you stop taking the motor gene you forget how to drive it is the not having it in contrast is like hits really hard but there's never a shortage it's always pretty easy to get but that one is like you know that you know happens with stimulants a lot where you do stop taking it you take a break or something happens you can't get it and i don't know about you guys i sometimes find myself reflecting like is this okay have i become so dependent on this thing that if something were to change if like global warming just devastates the san andreas cracks and we float off into the ocean am Am I like a less viable person now?

I've got to go back to the UK in a couple of weeks. I'm like, what if I forget or run out or something? I mean, the whole shaking thing you're describing, that sounds like that would be like, I just, I threw out a scenario in my head, like if there was an apocalypse, like before you even mentioned the apocalypse thing, I was like, would he like,

would he like start rationing it maybe to like kind of wean off or something i did have to do that when i initially went back i got stuck in the uk because i went back right before covid then there was a year of travel ban true to do like every other to like every three getting new medication they were just like oh no we don't know how to do that right now we forgot how to do medicine and so just plus you have to get approved again in a different country yeah and they i it really it did make me think like, I'm happy with this. I have a decent surplus because I had some in the UK.

So if I need to, I can dash back. But. Right. Yeah. That's the, if the bombs drop, there's going to be. The bombs drop. I will become unstable and indulge in my whims to become a post-apocalyptic warlord in the vein of Mad Max. Yeah.

The only thing stopping me from that right now is that we have water. Yeah, and you're not in Australia. I'm not in Australia, which I will be when the bombs drop. That will be my decision. First place I got to go. I got to go play guitar on top of a truck or whatever. Yeah, just going to be driving through the outbacks with your trained kangaroos that know how to shoot guns.

Dude, that's racist. You can't bring up kangaroos. Why? I would never use a kangaroo in that circumstance. Really? I would. And noble animals.

Are you kidding me? We've got talents. Didn't the Aussies when they were on here say people kill kangaroos? Yeah. Just punch them in the head. Yeah.

So TwitchCon. How about it? How about TwitchCon? I mean, come on. How about TwitchCon? TwitchCon, we love. It was in Vegas. It was in Vegas.

How do you? City of Dreams. I did It was in Vegas. It was in Vegas. How do you? I did not. I don't think I like Vegas. It was in a little fucked up way. I'm not trying to be contrarian to you. No. It was one of my favorite TwitchCons. Is this the first one in Vegas?

I had maybe one of the worst weekends of maybe the past 10 years. I'm so fucking sorry. It's okay. I think it was mostly due to like my mental health struggles that i was having i wanted to hang out with you more and i feel like we couldn't right we just well my issue is that i didn't reach out to anyone and i didn't like plan to like be in a group or anything yeah i tried to get you into the pot to party yes yeah no no this is this is that's why i'm saying it's all on me yeah it's like uh because

all i did was just like stay in my hotel room and i went out for like the things that i had to do granted that's how i was during vidcon yeah and then and then i i wanted to want to reach out to people but i like felt so it was just like a weird friction in my mind where i like couldn't do it like this is being depressed yeah it's just being depressed and then i'm sorry and just like a weird friction in my mind where I couldn't do it. It's just being depressed. Yeah, it's just being depressed. I'm sorry. And then it sort of doubles on itself because then I'm mad at myself for not doing the things that I want to do. And then the last night or whatever, or Saturday night, I tried to go out to the last party.

And I was trying to link up with people uh and i was texting um some friends and then they all had plans already and and like so then i was going to meet them at the the party itself and then i got to the party itself and there was a big line and then all my friends it was like going straight through the mall too. And then I just like, I was sitting around and then I started getting so anxious. And then I just like walked home and then like went back to being in bed. And then I moved my flight up and I left early. It's fine. I mean, like I said, it's just all stuff that I'm dealing with.

But tell me about your TwitchCon. Because you having a good time does not... You're allowed to have had a good time, even if I did. Yeah, I don't know. I think that there was just like... What was nice about the TwitchCon for me was like... I feel like last TwitchCon, there was like... I think that I'm not like a huge partier.

So when I have the opportunity to go to like little events that are a party stuff, it's like, it's like fun and novel for me where it's like, you know, and I, and I think it was also partly my love for going to parties and events and stuff comes from me not having been invited to many things when I was

younger or like, it's like a, like a, I don't know. Cause you're not likable. Yeah, exactly. You always do that bit with the lights and we're like, we get it Ted. Because you're not likable. Yeah, exactly. You always do that bit with the lights.

We get it, Ted. Yeah, I know, because I show up at the party, I'm like, this party looks like it needs some strobe lights. A lot of people are very affected by that. Yeah, yeah. It's like, when I go to the fucking epilepsy's anonymous party, it's like, that doesn't work. Why are you invited?

Yeah, exactly. I don't know. Because I lied. What do they have to do with anonymous? lied what did i was uh did you have a lot of obligations do you have like a lot of panels or whatever you had to do i had one thing that i that i did because there was like my last switch con was like a little bit tough because i like meeting people i like meeting people in person but i have now gotten to the point where i can't really walk through one of these conventions without getting what i like to call stun locked where one person will come up to me they'll say hi they're always i've never had really a bad experience everyone's so nice yeah um but in meeting that person then other people will see me because i am the size of a skyscraper

so then it starts to become a crowding thing and then the larger that crowd generally gets and the more eyes are on me at the same time when i didn't expect it was going to happen it starts to kind of create a growing anxiety in me i feel like i'm getting it i'm getting more like anxiety like in the last year like it's a new thing for me i've never known what that feels like and now i'm like now i know it's like that's what the thing is like that's weird is the experience you're describing possibly worse because because you weren't taking medication at that time right last two weeks twitchcon was a few days um well it's happened it it's it's happened before at like uh like what happened one time at vidcon when i tried to go on the floor and i didn't realize that you weren't a few days um well it's happened it's it's happened before at like uh like what happened

one time at vidcon when i tried to go on the floor and i didn't realize that you weren't allowed to do that um and i got crowded but like it's more like i can because last year at vidcon i would go i would try to go to the partner lounge and there would be people who kind of like camp out the park partner lounge expecting they're gonna be people there and i had and i there was this one time that i was just trying to meet someone but i people come up and say hi and i want to say hi to everyone that wants to say hi to me because i know what being in that position is like having watched youtubers and going to conventions and seeing someone and be like i'm never gonna meet

this person again i'm never gonna have a chance to see them again so like i like a line formed and i was there for 45 minutes um but as you say it's a quantity issue not quality it's not bad interactions yeah they're not bad interactions and i don't like not doing the interactions it's just the time and place for the interactions i feel like needs to be like when i can do them rather than when they like yeah it's and i have a really hard time saying no to people yeah i had the same uh i had the same experience and I'm not even like a big Twitch person or I'm not like known in those spaces. Yeah, I think I'm just really adjacent to a lot of gaming. Like obviously I have a podcast with Schlatt.

Like I'm very, very adjacent. It's funny. I'm like adjacent to like the commentary world and I'm adjacent to the gaming world at the same time. But I'm just saying the same thing happened to me to probably like not as big of an extent but still enough that i was like i want to take a breather i want to like catch my breath from this but like even one of the things that happened to me was like i was with some friends sitting down eating and even when i was eating people came up to the table and were like hey sorry i like can we get a photo and i'm like yeah of course yeah yeah it's like because I don't want

to be I I want I don't want to ruin their experience but it's really just a fact that you can't pause it when you need a break yeah yeah it's like you have to duck away or like whatever or you always have to be moving exactly and like last year at twitchcon it was like I with the just the normal the the range of what a partner is on twitch is so like wide now because that like they're like you know last year i would i would have to enter in through the main entrance which is like not as feasible anymore for like no they they this year they did better back of house stuff yeah like vidcon does because vidcon you can't get you're not allowed

to go out into the public area yeah yeah um and twitchcon it was a little bit more like the lines were blurred yeah it's very it's a little bit more blurred with twitchcon and it's like a little bit stranger because it's like uh but this year i like i was able to get like this this little purple star on my past that lets you go into like this thing called the purple lounge which is like the new partner lounge in my head we ran into each other at the purple lounge oh yeah yeah and they've got like it's just like a place where you can actually chill where it's like the where like most of the people that i know are are are there too and i run into i saw jake from state farm in there really yeah i never said hi even though i was him for halloween and i went to his birthday party oh was he in uniform but i didn't see him at his

birthday party oh okay it was like we went with mutual friends and then he was in a different room the entire time do you think it's weird that he can never wear a red shirt just like socially yeah well it's funny because you could tell you could tell he was working because he was like in the state farm fit oh oh he really was yeah he was yeah he was in the shirt yeah i uh this is fucked but i'd for a while like i didn't know what the brand state farm was and i understand who jared fogel was and what brand he was associated with and i thought they were this that that's who it was oh that's funny's funny. It's Jake from Subway. Subway. I was just like, whoa, he's still free.

But anyway. Yeah. So, like, it was like this time around, it was like I had a little bit more control over, like, whether or not I wanted to, like, have a break or if I wanted, like, to meet people. So, I, like, went around the convention a little bit and stuff. And then the one thing I had was this, like league thing oh yeah i did the kitchen league thing with salmon and eric yeah um and that was that was fun um but i thought what was great about vegas this time was that like last year at twitch con it was like there was like a couple events and stuff there was like the juvie one that i that we hung out at and then there was yeah you you did

the homie move and pulled me into the vip yeah yeah that's yeah and we we had we had a great time we had a good time yeah i was i was busy i was busy i was playing cyberpunk i was playing cyberpunk and i was and i was and i was uh romancing a penham yeah and you're jealous i would guess of that um she's good with cars i was in england kissing the queen um and then what happened oh i was flat actually uh but i guess it was just like and there was like that like phase one that everyone's going to that was like yeah i don't know it was like is that the one that was half dolce and gabbana oh no i'm talking about last, I'm talking about last year. I'm talking about last year,

but like, it was just like, there was like little party thing, but like this year it was like Vegas. So there was like a bunch of like fucking, I don't know. I've never gone to really clubs or anything before. So it was like these nightclub things that were happening.

And it was like, just really this like kind of cool, like novel. Like I feel like I would have to spend a lot of bullying and a lot of time and a lot of like planning in order to do these things in Vegas as a normal person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a normal weekend in Vegas. For sure.

Was this your first Vegas trip? This was my third time in Vegas. Yeah, this was my third time in Vegas. The last two have been with Eddie Burbeck. Yeah. Oh, bummer. Oh, yeah. I sent you a photo of the Rainforest Cafe.

Yeah. oh yeah i sent you a photo of the rainforest cafe yeah i really wanted to do a tiktok where i did that like uh that blade runner like i can make you look lonely i just didn't find my way over there yeah it's just like in a different part of town the only thing i did for myself was go on uh i did a couple pokemon go walks while oh yeah were there like walking up the strip did you find any like gambling pokemon like ones that were like a like yeah there there like walking up the strip did you find any like gambling pokemon like ones that were like a like yeah there was like a pikachu like throwing dice or like a or like a snorlax that has like a gambling addiction that's like yeah he's like i'm not doing so hot there's never the sunlight i'm down i'm gonna lose my house

hey oh there goes the scholarship um there it goes my highlight of twitch con was actually meeting up with uh uh my friend trey who edits for jacksepticeye who is also a pokemon go player and he traded me a mewtwo so i got myself how many mewtwos you got just one in pokemon go oh damn so you have them all now i i did complete the kanto pokedex. So that was exciting for me. What did you do when you did it? Celebrate. Like what did you do to celebrate? Well, gambling. Were you like, I'm celebrating.

I went back to my hotel room and I drank one of the $9 Cokes that was in the mini bar. Oh, yeah. Dude, that's one of my favorite things about having adult money. The little indulgence. is that i can go to a that little mini bar thing at a hotel and i can pick up the little jar of peanut m&ms that costs 15 like not even a joke the jar of peanut m&ms costs 15 oh no well i got two of them there you go uh the reason why i got two of them too was that little jar because you know i make pesto with my with my basil pesto jar it's a fantastic pesto jar and i have two of them now and so i'm gonna

use those as my um because usually i just take like a like a jam jar or something that it's and i like clean it out and stuff right i use that but yeah the uh another token of my, you know, what do I want to call it? My like little sad weekend was that there was a area in the hotel that all of the guests, like all of the people who were, you know, had the little thing on their badge or whatever, could go and get free coffee, free free snacks the whole weekend 24 7 right and i still bought the nine dollar soda because i couldn't like venture outside of my room no yeah yeah so i it's just like a hey it happens to everybody and like yeah no i definitely know what that was like like you know i at the beginning of the weekend also like i there was like the first like the thursday friday period, there was like the first, like the Thursday, Friday period, I was like a little bit more shut off-ish and like, I, I definitely, I

definitely did room service a couple of times, which is also a fun adult thing to do. Like that's so, that is so novel and fun to be able to get it right at your door anyways. Cause like even at my apartment in LA, like I have to kind of like walk up to the pedestrian gate to like let them in. Cause I don't have like a code thing on my thing or whatever. So like having someone come right up the door and just be like room service for you. And I'm like, I ordered this a half an hour ago.

This is fucking incredible. I don't know. I love the shit like that. It's like so fun. The equivalent of that where I was just back in the uk for reasons that aren't fun to talk about on a podcast but i was just there and because i'm from like the countryside ordering takeout is like wow dude the ability rockefeller mr rockefeller's coming seriously and it's like you know the equivalent of like 14 to just get like multiple items from a place nearby but the

idea that you're not just walking to it is like it's like crack i love ordering food like it's one of my favorite things because i never used to do we never did it right yeah my biggest and worst expense by far by a huge huge amount and i'll buy like one video game and feel bad about it i'm such an idiot i spelt 50 bucks on that video game and then order sweet green 10 times in a day yeah yeah yeah yeah like literally it's like a video game you're like do i want 40 dollars i'm only gonna be enjoying that and it's like and it's like i'm like i'm like ordering taco bun it's like this will be 54 dollars for like this taco bun i'm like that's worth it it's like if you got a mendocino farms

order and it lasted six months you just get get to eat every day for six months. Yeah. Dan finds out he's been catfished. I think I saw this on my feed and I was afraid to watch it. Oh, is this from TwitchCon? Yeah. Did you hear about this? Yeah, I didn't watch it because I was going to get secondhand embarrassment.

No, me too. So this is like we'll all hold hands and watch it. Oh, I feel bad. I feel bad. I don't know. I haven't seen it yet. Maybe they suck. So this is something that happened at twitch con during a meet and greet uh someone is meeting a creator and they

find out that they have been dming with a fake catfish account that was impersonating the streamer instead of the streamer themselves fuck and i i want to say that like well this is an awkward moment that's like cringy you know have you seen it no i haven't i i also didn't watch it because of secondhand embarrassment but i do know the exact time and the temperature off at the top right for some reason so i don't know what this is going to be but that's all the context i have i think dex serato posted this or something. Okay. All right. Here we go. How are you doing? Can I be free? It's so nice to meet you.

My name is Dexter. And I'm Terry Bell. Okay, good. We've had some conversations here on Twitter. You know what I get a little weird? Oh, yeah. Maybe it's not what we really do. But I think this is the real you.

Right? It's you. Hold on. Let's click on the account. No, that is not. Oh. No. I didn't say anything horribly.

I didn't give a lot of money to that person. Oh, this is not that bad. All right. Okay, cool. What a reasonable person. Yeah. Oh, I feel bad for him, though. I think everybody like landed

this situation it could have been so much worse oh he was he seemed he seemed totally like well spoken and respectful yeah yeah he seems super respectful um that i mean it just i think i just got worried because it was like and maybe this was this maybe this was me being uh judging before watching i thought it was maybe it was i saw old man and i thought maybe you know that's a really good point i had the same bias i'm like did this old man trick this fan well i also but i had also seen in replies that like he seemed like people were like oh he seems sweet and stuff so then i was like he seems like right now i'm gonna see like him being like getting his heart broken and i'm like i'm like yeah i come on. I guess it's one thing to note that people, there are impersonators out there.

And Twitter specifically has destroyed the credibility of Verified Checkpoint. Which this is like why verification existed previously was to, you know, because of impersonators. And Elon just made it so that you could pay money to impersonate someone. Dude, also, I don't know about you, but on TikTok, I am having trouble. Like, I'm not verified on TikTok, but there's another account that's Ted Nivison,

but because TikTok, it just shows whatever you want in that lower area. There's a Ted Nivison with two N's at the end. They're just posting all of my TikToks. Oh, that's. And they're getting like. They're reposting your TikToks? It's just Ted Nivison and then it says second account

and they're just reposting all of my TikToks. That's insane. And they're getting like 70K likes and there's everyone's replying. They're like, Ted, what are you doing? People are asking if I'm doing some sort of project or something. Like I did that one time I tried to make a viral TikTok. That's not cool. Yeah.

And I try to report it. I've reported it several times and I'm like, and it's like, what are they doing? And it's like the two options is like they're impersonating a celebrity. They're impersonating me. And I put me and then they look at it and they're like, they're not doing anything wrong. I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? These are, it's literally, they're freebooting my content. I know who I am. I'm the expert actually actually on this i actually have that problem right now there's a um there's a website called jarvis johnson

merch.com and too many of those websites and they uh they created a spring store that like was pretending to be my official merch store and we got that taken down because it was like uh you know actually stealing design a crime yeah in a crime uh but then the website itself continues to pretend to be me like the website has like a little the merch and the store was taken down but the website the spring store that backs the thing was taken down because we were able to reach out to spring and say hey you know they're pretending to this you can't do this you're selling you know unauthorized like a yeah trademark like we own designs yeah we own the design so you can't sell these yeah but they still have the domain and they just but they still have the domain and i'm trying to like see if we can like

buy the domain or something which would be a win for them but like yeah it literally is like it links to my socials and posts as if it's me. And I'm like, that's so weird. They're really literally just is not, especially if you're able to make someone think even in the days of, you know, verification and the world making sense,

even at that point, you can just make the claim that you are a second account. Yeah. And that is a source. I feel like of most of that kind of catfish. It's like, uh, let me show it to you visually.

It's, it's literally like the TikTok account. Yeah. Yeah. yeah it's like uh let me show it to you visually it's it's literally like the tiktok account yeah yeah because oh yeah because it's like the it's not even like because a lot of accounts where they like do where they i don't have service here it's a dead zone oh yeah i was like i was looking at my phone i was like like, SOS. Am I in trouble? Yeah. Okay. So I found it here. It's got a pinned one. It's got a top one where it's just got an old, like these are all TikToks of mine.

This one was posted in August and it has 151,000 likes. Like another one, 91,000 likes. Another one, 138. These are just reposts of videos of mine. It has 75.8K followers. That's crazy. And it just says second end account. It spells second account wrong. Wait, do they have the same profile picture?

Yeah, they have the same profile picture. For a second account? Yeah, they have the same profile picture and everything. And it's like, people will comment on this and then they'll be like, like replying as if it's me if they and it's like it's it's actually as if that's crazy yeah is that technically especially if they change the bio say is that even against the terms of service well they're just post they're they're they're posting my like they're copying exactly everything're they're they're posting my like they're copying exactly

everything like they're they're copying my uh my uh like even the the the descriptions of the videos and stuff too so it's like it's like really it's not even like a big deal like they're not they're not taking any money out of my pocket no but it's still it's also like people people are like are finding the account and being like this is ted and like this person is essentially representing me by reposting shit and people are getting confused well this person could dm someone very confidently yeah yeah no i want that that shit taken down i want that shit taken down let's do the white guy to your list that sounds good okay this is a little little game I've prepared for the real homies.

Just you two. No real ones. Jacob, don't play this. Can we zoom in on this? I can't really see it that well. Okay, here we go. The genesis of this originally is I was thinking to myself, hey, there's a lot of pretty common generic names

that you might use in a joke right so like what's a good joke name specific i hear a lot i might myself use rick a lot of steves and davids do you know what can i just say something i was like looking at this and i was really suspicious because i thought that like i thought that we were gonna like this was gonna be a thing where there's a picture of me and like ted because i got a really like i've got a really like white guy name am i just fucking ted so i thought you're gonna do a little thing where you're like oh you got a shitty name ted and you're gonna put me in in the d category and you're gonna say like fuck you no no but i so i get to judge people with you i get to judge these names with you. Do we have a... Oh, I know.

Wait. I'm just going to slack you something real quick. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Don't do it. I wasn't asking for it. This wasn't some reverse psychology thing. Jarvis, can you grab his phone real quick?

No, I can't do that. You can't? It's too heavy. Are there two Michaels? I feel like Michael is next to Michael. There's two Michaels. Yeahels yeah no there's definitely two michaels error with the software maybe something went wrong with the ever in the software yeah there's like a computer in there once a steve and once a stiffen once a saturday night you know oh it's the same you're right you. You're right. There's Steven. Then there's like, oh, yeah.

Steven, like a little bit more posted up, a little bit more aggressive. Yeah, Steven's more mysterious, I feel. I guess one of them is still buffering. It is uploading. We'll see what happens. Yeah, Steven's like offering himself up. And he also doesn't have an E at the end of his name. And then there's Steven, who's like kind of like, welcome to my show.

I'm going to be like, he's like, the kitchen nightmare is like, he's post up. He's like, are they going to be able to find who's the best person in the kitchen? Who's my best friend? Can you figure it out? Who's my best friend? I got 10 men here, and we we're gonna figure out which one's my best we've got five men and they have to choose a wife which one do they love the most honestly that would be a pretty good little jubilee thing is like finding out who's this guy's best friend

oh that would be good five guys choose who that best i hate the ones where it's like figure out who's siblings and um or who's twins or something like that and they pick siblings that were like born really close together and they live their whole lives together and like the the real like it like doesn't even matter that they're not twins because they're they may as well be yeah just know everything about each other yeah it's the same age i want i want to have actors pretend you know what i mean oh that would be fun we do it actors pretend. You know what I mean? Oh, that would be fun. We could do it. Actors pretend to be brothers. Yeah.

Like, I'm pretending to be brothers. What the fuck? How did you make that so quick? I mean, it's possible that I did already make it and forgot to send it to Jacob, but good luck proving that. You look weird in that photo. Man, come on. You're different. So the parameters for what ranks as a high grade can be we can interpret case by case but in the case you say like steven steven i that's steve and steven yeah

i think there's a distinction i don't think both can exist in the same grade because i personally have one that i currently on screen we have steve and steven yeah well we can rank steve i think it's just the visual i think it it's the... I know. You're just giving me a hard time. Hey, come on. I would say that... I'm uploading another photo of you. That took him forever to set up. I don't know... That'd be a pain in the ass for him.

I don't want to give Jacob too much more. So we're starting with Derek. Yeah, Derek. Classic comedy name. I feel like I hear it a lot. But as an actual person name, case by case, does it hit? I mean, the the i feel like the hit depends on if you can say it in like a negative context so it's like don't do that

derrick oh it's a derisive can you can you like yeah and i feel like i have one of those names where it's like nobody asked you ted yeah i feel like i feel like derrick though does have a little bit of gravitas to it i feel like i feel like I've never met a soft-spoken Derek. Is Derek short for something? I don't think so. Doesn't it feel like we're like derisious? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah.

I did my best to choose the profile page that I thought best represented each one. Derek? I mean, I kind of want to put... I would put Derek in the B tier. Yeah? You happy with the B? Do we go all the way up to S or is A peak? interesting cool i'm curious to see what gets yeah we got s a b c and d do other people have thoughts on derrick tier wise i would say derrick is you know he's got two thumbs

up that are sort of like really posted up oh wait no he's holding a glass of water but he loves it so he's giving it a thumbs up oh okay positive review he's one of those water sommeliers it looks like you maybe uh you asked derrick if he needs anything if he needs another snack or beverage and he goes no i've got this water i'm good oh yeah because there's music you can't hear him yeah yeah no i'm good i'm good and then you get confused you get him a drink because he thought you were going like yeah get me a drink man derrick has gone directly to church after this. I'm just thinking about the shoot for this stock photo thing where they're like, all right, now hold the water and give us a thumb. Like what was the direction?

I feel like the website photo bucket doesn't have anyone holding water yet. Yeah. I'll get Derek through. Yeah. Also, what do you think of my application is to that stock photos? Did Derek feel like a good choice? I feel like he... Oh, he looks like it could be a Derek.

But he also looks like he could be a Daniel. Yeah, this is not my Derek in my head, but... This is like almost a Daniel to me. You might be right. Oh, my God. Does that not look like a Daniel? I think it does kind of look like a Daniel. I'm such a stupid idiot.

Everyone hates me so much. Yeah, it's true. This is why me and my dad aren't close. It's true. We can't hear you and we do agree but i mean so so you know in the case of derrick it's a b because it's also like a lower tier derrick if it was a daniel it'd probably be up in an oh you think my application is to the looks as part yeah okay oh right so are we judging the name or the stock you know i need some

feedback so i think you should judge it also based on my performance i mean as also incredibly white individual i feel like i'm i'm i'm very uh i'm very ready to to sort of place the realism you have often claimed to be an authority on race yeah yeah yeah i feel like i can i can beorn in my own race. Do you have any worry about TikTok? TikTok becoming China over in China. United States of America. Because I'm not. I'd be fine with that.

I'm not. China-ated states of America. That is not making it into the podcast. We should go faster because we will never finish. Who's the one doing muscle flexing down there at the bottom left? What did I name him? I think you should keep it in i think it's funny simon i think i chose a great simon that this guy i feel like he does look like a simon he also looks

like andrew garfield to me yeah he does a good andrew but andrew garfield doesn't really look like an andrew he doesn't i don't think he looks like an andrew this is the cycle this is the problem with you guys with the your you know it's interesting like this guy could very well be a damien as well in a weird way do you think that's the suit no it's his face he's like i'm damien hey guys i'm damien i'm crazy i'm the funny one i'm being pulled in a couple different directions because i like this guy a lot. I like him a lot. His energy is really high. I agree. This guy has, he is psyched. He is the exact enemy of that Derek.

Is that making me bring up, is that making me like superficially want to rank Simon higher? That's a good point. Is that introducing a bias? I feel like we're ranking like everything about the energy that's emanating off of him. I think that it definitely pulls it down when it doesn't match but i also think that simon can work for this man and i and i think this man's having a great time he's hype i would put him in an a if not an s i think you are allowed to attribute it to like do you want to hang out with this guy i do want to hang out simon seems like he's gonna have a good time he's really good he's a little much that's what's not getting a mess

he's like calm down yeah maybe he's going up clicking the light saying let there be light yeah he's like yeah but it's also like okay you could get a little aggressive and like maybe that would be too much for us but i'll keep him up at a i'll keep him you know he's like he's like a party friend yeah no but he's like the last one to leave and he's maybe like can i stay here tonight okay yeah he does strike me as um oh you know what i think zach would also work for this guy yeah maybe maybe zachary oh zachary to his real friends z to z to more casual top zz top to the people real close there's so much nuance to this because i mean we've now turned his name into zach but it could be zach with a k it could be zach with an h those are two completely different things to me there are some people

on this list that i that do read as though they would give themselves a nickname for example i think rick that's not a rick in there rick's the one oh yeah what do we think of toby where are you brick i would know that derrick nick nick there's nader steve pickle pickle neck michael derrick oh derrick oh rick now rick is finger guns rick he's a little silly but he's also pretty grounded and he's wearing an oxford white suit shirt what but rick looks like a michael look does rick does he not i feel like we're gonna be here all day if we're not wrong okay his name's come on he looks like a michael though it's like it's like no no no no listen he's richard he looks like a richard to me oh yeah it looks like he's trying to go by rick to rebrand well that wouldn't be too much of a rebrand because a common nickname for richard is dick oh that's

rough yeah but so rich is rick a nickname for richard what do you think it's a nickname what do you think it's a nickname for i think it's just a fucking name it's for ricardo okay it's full oh no he asked to go by ricardo at the office rick is a nickname for richard yeah yeah it's closer than dick what are you talking about i didn't honestly it was it was like the whole dick richard nickname scenario was just a mystery to me i just knew what happened but like rick just i just knew that it happened rick rick was just like there's just there it was like you you you come out of the womb rick like that's that's what i was thinking oh jesus but rick is honestly

i think rick is great i think that he compliments a lot of his friends he's like these guys are crazy and i'm supporting them in the photo he is pointing and he's probably pointing to i totally put him at an a i put him at an a i'm i'm yeah i've got someone special in my mind already for for for an s right now it better not be ted no it's can you can you go over to toby right now oh i i didn't see toby i do like toby look at toby are you fucking kidding me right now that guy is a toby that guy is a toby i do like him even more because he has such a thick watermark over his phone it's one of the lowest res photos i found his thumbs are so long they're so long so long what is happening he's quite long and slender that neck he's sort of like uh he's sort of like a case on on the on the value of understanding perspective because if i didn't know that his thumbs if i didn't know his

hands were closer to me i would be like that guy's got huge hands. This is such an insult to the model here. However. And if you're the model, then please comment below. We will get you in contact with Jarvis for an apology. This isn't even about the model, but it's like the shirt, the collar looks too long. Something's happened. It's too sprawled out. I just don't understand what's happening this guy

this guy is from the dimension that all of the characters in spanish textbooks live i believe that that is a like uh what's the style of it called like frutiger metro frutiger uh frutiger error arrow do you know what I'm talking about right now? I do not know what that is. Can you look up Frutiger? You're going to have to. It's short for Rizzo. Look up Frutiger Metro.

F-R-U-T-I-G-E-R. And then Metro. This is Frutiger Metro. This is like an aesthetic. Oh, that's what that's called? Yeah, this is called frutiger metro like it's it's a wix or like a default myspace account kind of aesthetic yeah like it's very 2000s kind and then if you replace metro with aero aero i think is what it's called this is for your arrow okay so this is this

is this is the most spanish textbook thing you could probably have right here. There's also the desktop wallpaper. Take a look at that. I refuse. Frutiger Ero. This is an aesthetic that is specific to that early 2000s Spanish textbooks. That's Metro right there. It says Don Day and then spells it out phonetically.

Don Day. So what I think is that. This looks like an MTV music festival. Right? He looks like an attendee. Or like a dance in an iPod Nano. Like over there on. Yeah. I think Toby is the definition of a Frutiger Aero Spanish textbook character.

Example. Muy bueno. Whoa. That does work. Yeah. And I think that because of that toby is absolutely an ass it's everybody just be a nice i can't argue i can't argue with that i think his enthusiasm helps too and toby's a cute name right he's a cute something's unlikable yeah

little tobster what do you know what toby is sure for tobuscus Regret after he came out Yeah Maybe Tobias It could be Tobias Ignore me Ignore me I Ignore me. Maybe Richard. I don't know anything about anything.

I thought Rick was just a first name. Sorry, man. I guess I just don't know much about names. But yeah, I guess Tobias. It must be Tobias. I hate Michael's energy. Oh, this is like, that's a millennial face right there. Yeah, he's soy face. Sorry, guys. like that's millennial face right there yeah he's sorry sorry guys it's a millennial face michael yeah uh that's not gonna fool we can literally do that

yeah um okay so this is happening right now uh yeah this is a bit awkward uh right now but he could also be in a thumbnail dude he's a fucking d man he's like he's like okay i'm not going to i'm not going to bed before 1 a.m tonight because i'm gonna play i don't know fucking crap on the yeah oh yeah dude mama snap the thing that's throwing me is like again not to insult the model but it looks kind of like he's not actually making that expression. It looks like someone selected his mouth and moved it to the corner of his face. He looks face-empt. Yeah, also his eyebrow eye area is kind of freaking me out.

It doesn't look like those eyes are real. It looks like very convincing AI. Yeah. Like mostly there. Yeah, I'm pissed off about Michael. I mean, he's got kind of a nice shirt, but I mean, other than that. He's got a Henley on, I guess. The shirt is the only thing pushing him towards C, but you might be right with a D.

I just hate the energy. There's a different, look, let's go to the other Michael. I want justice for Michaels here. Yeah, let's go to the other Michael for sure. I mean, comparatively, the other Michael is a huge step. I was noticing the Ted I made a solo, right? Okay, see, now this Michael is like, you know, this is like Michael at work. Like, he's like, you're doing so well.

Or like, he is such a yes man with a joke. Like, this guy is going along with any shit you throw on the wall. Like, this guy is laughing at your joke. Dude, I just walked into the mixer and he's like, ah, look who it is. And it's like, you kind of, you learned his name kind of recently. And it's like, it's like your first time seeing him in a bit.

So it's like, you're like big man. You're like, Hey you. And it's like, you're reminded about it, but he's so friendly. And he's like,

he's very okay with the fact. Cause he knows that you, you know, he's understanding too. And he's just a good time. He looks tipsy at work to me. Oh, this is definitely the mixer.

This is post work 7 PM. Yeah. but he is also you're already there you've been there the whole time but he hasn't seen you so when you walk into the group he's like he looks like he's saying hey interns you're 21 you gotta drink too oh okay here's the thing i don't like about it is he's got the physical energy of one of those tweets that's like hey if no one said this to you today you're a rock star okay now that you bring that up no that's a good point you bring that up and it's like you don't forget about what you offer to the world like yeah be present and thankful for what we have yeah it's like i acknowledge that there's definitely once a month you can make an off-color joke that's a very excellent point he does seem like he would be like it's the medical team and also

i think that like looking at his face right now i think that he's like like he could be like really fucking like he there's at some point like during your tenure at this job like he's gonna snap oh yeah something he's gonna freak out about something everyone's gonna be like what the fuck and it's gonna be something really inconsequential like like like like like he comes into work and like his sandwich isn't in the fridge and it's like but he actually forgot his sandwich at home but so it's like nobody did anything to him no one did anything freaking out and thought to him and so when he finds that out he's like okay yeah like like he still has to kind of keep that same energy that he's been rolling with. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, sorry, Michael. You're a C. So we got- C. C, yeah. Yeah, no. Because I freaked everyone out in the office.

We didn't put the other Michael in the tier list, did we? No, I think Michael might be a D. Yeah. Sorry, Michael. Rough day for Michaels, actually. I know. Jesus, my bad. This might be on me.

Also, I know, Ted, you said you had to go in like 30 minutes, like 40 minutes ago. So I just want to be mindful. Yeah, but we got to finish this list. Okay, cool. I just am acknowledging how long it's taking us to get through. We got to finish this list. He just wants to get to Ted. No, we can put Ted at D if you want.

I don't care. It doesn't look like me. That guy's not a hot Ted. I think you have to make the choice for Ted by yourself. Okay, I'll put him at B. Wow. wow okay middle of the road mid literally well like look can i see that guy can i see this ted so i'm gonna make a choice on this so to get it over with yeah okay that's a that's like he's like a worse version of the michael that we just rated he's got to be okay the font in that's a fucking that that dude looks like a fucking roofie Ted.

That guy looks like... That's my dad. That guy looks slimy as hell. His sideburns are too long, but not like... They're too short to be charming like how Slaskard is like mutton chops, but they're too long to be not looking like they're like... Hey guys, here's Ted. Oh, this book. The cover is telling me everything about it. No need to read it. Can I give... Hey guys, here's Ted. Oh, this book.

The cover is telling me everything about it. No need to read it. Can I give... Okay, this is going to be a bit of a weird... Are you saying I'm judging a book by its cover? Very much so. Well, listen. I just think that this guy looks like he smokes Marlboro Reds. He watched too many...

Watched Grease too much as a kid, so he thinks that if he has enough confidence he can be like I got chills, then multiply but he can't do that and he hasn't adjusted He's a little bit IRL Peter Griffiths for me

I didn't account for that But Peter has a twisted, fucked up sense of humor like myself He does have a twisted, messed up dark sense of humor that would be hard to... Yeah, I mean, this guy just brings a bad name to the Teds of the world. I mean, he really is. And you know what? There's a chance that he's actually not even a real Theodore.

He could be an Edward. Well, what's the... Ted can also be a nickname for Edward. I think this is an Edward. Oh. And for that reason, he's in D. He's a fake Ted. Fallen from grace.

The grace of two. Can't spell Ted without D. Yeah. That's what I always say. Yeah, a few letters. It just does not work at all. Yeah. T.

Yeah, Ted for Edward. That is jacked up. It is a nickname, though. I know. I had a Theodore, actually. Yeah, no, I had a Theodore friend. Wait, what's your Ted? I'm Theodore, yeah.

You're Theodore? That's my name. My full name is Theodore Kennedy Nivison. Vision. Yeah, that's very political. Because Kennedy in it, I know. It's got Kennedy in it. Yes, I get it.

Wait, the acronym of your name, 10, that's pretty cool. Wait, TKN? TKN. TKN. TKN Jr. that yeah the acronym of your name 10 that's pretty cool wait tkn tkn i'm a junior too my dad's name is theodore canada but these are the real the real can did we do the i believe oh yeah that's right i have the same guy twice for steve steve in the streets i would say that steve on his own there that's kind of like he's kind of giving me ugly eyes right now like he's like hey he's a little too in a while like what's up the eye contact it's like sustained and unwanted yeah that is like he is like an eye contact guy he also giving me the same energy from uh robert california specifically from the office he's

like kind of looks like that actor a little bit. Oh, James Spader, star of The Blacklist and also Secretary. Yeah, he kind of looks a little bit like him, but in terms of the characters that were slimy, where he's like, hey, you know? He does have sales energy. He's the lizard king in this. Imagine he walks up to you at the bar and he just goes like,

hey, I'm with her. No, but seriously, I'm an empath. I'd love to spend a little time talking about coffee. imagine he walks up to you at the bar and he just goes like hey uh i'm with her no but uh seriously i'm an empath i'd love to spend a little time talking about it coffee and then yeah i just really feel like i feel emotions more than like the average guy and let's be honest men are allowed to show emotions these days also my ex is crazy like she's being insane she's being crazy. Where's Alimony? Come on. Yeah. I spent it on a racing wheel. That shirt's insane. I don't know where it begins.

What is that? That shirt is insane. It's like he's, like, why would you want an outline in the middle of your chest? It's like he's wearing a really small tie. It's like a button-up baseball shirt or whatever. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah.

No. Is it buttoned? Is it? it oh that's an awful shirt that's not helping him at all that's an awful shirt it's a v-neck and then worse it's got all the worst qualities that a shirt can have now a benefit of the steven is that i don't think you can see that part of the shirt uh it's a angle. You know what? Much better. Yeah, this is like, okay, now we've got like a different version of Steven where it's like he's maybe gone through, like he's had some conversations with people.

It's like, you got to change your attitude, man. You're being all, this is a new and improved Steven. He has MasterChef host. I was going to say, this almost looks like he's a pro baseball player. Yeah, pitcher. Yeah, maybe a baseball pitcher. And this is his promotional photo for the big game. Yeah, this is like his last name is like some random like.

Kratikowski. Or I was going to say like Pulapukos. Okay. Like maybe like some sort of Greek last name. I got you. He does, He does. I think in baseball in the 30s, this is the peak of physical fitness. This is the strongest and fastest.

Like when you watch like basketball from the 50s. They're walking. He'll walk out and be like, number 85, Stephen. Yeah. Back when they gave nicknames to people. He throws up 500 mile per hour fastball. Big poppy Stephen Pulapuk people. He throws a 500-mile-per-hour fastball. Here comes Big Poppy, Stephen Pulapuka. He calls people Jive.

You're being a little Jive right now, homie. Yeah, I think that Stephen is a much higher quality Stephen than we have. But I would put the first Stephen. I mean, sure and everything, that's a D. I would almost make a new tier for that one. I think Stephen gets bumped up to at least a B. I'm on the same page. Yeah, Stephen can be at a B. There's something very powerful.

It's a LinkedIn profile picture. It's incredible. He's got this great gaze. I really like David. David. Now, David is like, yeah. I don't know how to describe his posture. I'll tell you one thing.

I'll tell you one thing. For some reason, David right now is giving me the same energy as a guy who loves trains. Oh, you've asked about a passion you didn't know he had. Yeah. This is like David. on the front of like a really like sort of, like not really well known about train style that's like meant for some sort of really unique niche purpose.

Oh, like an industrial train. Like an industrial train that like only operates between Ohio and like Wisconsin. And they like only made like 70 of them or something or like five but his family's working insurance for three generations uh something else yeah no he just loves i feel like he just loves trains and he's like posing up and this is going on facebook he is gesturing to he's like check this out i found it i finally i found a train like he's at a convention right now train convention i just think that he likes trains. I think he goes,

is his ringtone. Is that a train? Is that like Thomas the Tank Engine theme song or something? That's the sound when you pull the little lever, it plays the whole thing. Train's coming. Jarvis, what does your instinct put David just raw I'm a huge fan

I'm just I'm not as big a fan of David personally he's a sin for me I think he's got a creepy face that is a good reason

I think but I don't think he means it though I don't think he means it he means he means damn that thing

he's giving like like high school biology teacher oh okay or something no stats i don't like that his shirt is i think he teaches sproing or whatever it was the end of the school splunky what was it friday or metro and for your art class sprank floyd floyd as silly as a floyd teacher i i had the teachers i had for Sloyd yeah Sloyd as silly as you want to do I don't think he's a Sloyd teacher I had the teachers I had for Sloyd were like those like crazy art teachers

that are like like like like Mrs. Frizzle from the magic school of us kind of energy alright you know what I also will say

I thought of a more positive comparison to make with David and it's the dean from community yeah yeah that's actually helping yeah and so I think that would community yeah that's actually helping yeah

and so i think that would bring me up to a b yeah i'll let him have a b i'm okay with that he's funny you know he's like a fun addition to the cast now nick tread light is an interesting guy why does he have a gun why is he armed nick is like i'm obsessed that facial hair cannot be real it's not it can't be the The mustache is fake. You know how like Steve Harvey's beard is too dense for hair? He lives and works at an REI.

It looks like he's in Blackface. Looks like half of his face. Can you zoom in? That's a fake mustache. It's a drawn on mustache. It's almost like stubble where there's no gap.'s just a hard f for me i'm sorry whoa i mean i there's plenty other reasons down there why is the mustache so much thicker than the rest because it's fake also but i mean that literally looks like a stick on yeah i think it is is the gun even real does this guy

unlikely that gun is real it looks like a cap gun. Also, I should have checked what the name of this stock photo was. Dude, that's an incredible stock photo. Man in half a face of blackface. Half blackface fisherman carrying. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he looks like he always goes to REI and like...

No, he doesn't work at REI, but he always goes to REI and he tries to talk to people who work at REI about what they do. Like he knows more than them. Like he goes there for fun to try to like chat about like camping equipment and like try to beat them in a game of wits. But like the people who work at REI are like, why do you keep doing this? We don't care about like you try to like they like they know generally when he comes in and they try to get hours that avoid him because of how much of a fucking annoying person he is not thursday please not yeah exactly nick what's up frank he's holding a guy what do you

mean we naturally found nick very he's holding a gun not any fake facial hair what's that about yeah there's too many questions i also i'll i'll say it i don't think his name is nick oh i think he's a sovereign citizen he like goes by a line his name is nikolai franchenko i feel his name is nikolai franchenko interesting hello i am american man hello i am american man i like to go to rei and okay alternative take i feel like his name is robert hagerty the third and he's a wanted criminal yeah double oh like a barreled name with that or he legally changed his name to just doom or maybe he like took an interest in russia and uh created a fake identity yeah nikolai or whatever yeah i mean he i mean if you look at his eyes he's got some Russian in him like he's got like a he's got some kill in him whoa

the natural tendency of course yeah I'm saying that those yeah yeah I am I mean you could take that to the bank there's a pipe and smoke it Russia equals kill same vibes if you're Russian out here what it's not racist or something you call me racist you are one of them yeah yeah i mean it seems to me like you're concerned that russia might take over the world against russians do you think we might become the versated rush of russian america well we won the cold war by being colder we did wait we did we won the cold war we went to the moon we said please don't do this we went sheesh we got ice in our veins and we went to the moon who haven't we oh peter and

liam i think wait yeah peter and let's see the quality of this liam individual okay you know what's funny this peter is so on point because he looks like, okay, Jacob, Google Peter the Bachelor. That's absolutely why I called him that. I'm realizing. I'm racist. Yeah. He's a pilot. The first photo is like the same shirt.

That is the pilot guy, right? Yeah. Whoa. That's so funny. Peter looks like he'd have his pilot's license. Oh, but the Peter Weber from The Bachelor is far more boat shoey. He is. Well, plain shoey.

He's far more Nantucket. I would see that guy drunk as hell on a boat in Nantucket. I think Peter is his brother that does finance. Yeah. I feel like Peter is a little bit more responsible. Well, he does finance, but then he has a habit of counting cards in vegas yeah i know he's not he's like he he's like terrible at blackjack and he's like but when we count can you count cards in blackjack yeah yeah i think and then up to 21 i

think that's the main thing no that's the main way you you cheat yeah yeah i think that's the main way you cheat i think that's the big one right that's the main way you you cheat yeah yeah i think that's the main way you cheat i think that's the big one right that's the big one because well i think you can't do it in vegas because they use multiple decks or whatever but if you use one deck then you can like count and do the probabilities or whatever peter could do it peter's correct the code i'll say also uh i think maybe he listens to like joe rogan but only the mma episodes like avoids political i don't he's like hey he's an expert on he's an expert on the mma stuff he's like do your own research but hey yeah he seems like the older more responsible brother from an early 2000s movie yeah uh also

the original i feel like he's telling me that the the fettuccine is is yeah one of the best dishes he's pronouncing it wrong yeah the fettuccine yeah one of the best dishes available at the restaurant. He's pronouncing it wrong. Yeah, the fettuccine. Have you seen that TikTok of like, it's like white guys after they have something that's really tasty. No.

And they're all just like, it's like they eat something and they're like. I mean, come on. Oh, brother. Yeah, like, or yeah, they have something like, oh oh wow you are like this you have to try this yeah yeah you want you want some you want it was i didn't i didn't put my mouth in it tomorrow i've didn't use the folk one yeah it's just more you just get in there

you guys that's i think that's pretty i like him i like him i think i do like him i mean i i don't know i don't is it crazy i feel like just like for how accurate the photo to image is, to me, I want to put him in A. I want to put him in A, too. I don't think he's incredible enough to be in S, you know? He kind of looks like he could be Derek's brother. He also looks like, because his name is Peter, he could be another universe Peter Parker.

Oh, yeah, he's Peter C. Parker. Yeah. Actually, he kind of looks like Peter A. a parker yeah that's what i'm saying this is another way that he's a perfect cast there he is derrick derrick the squeakquel i don't want to put derrick very high just because he's reminding me of toby with his yeah okay so uh jacob will you search up uh life with derrick disney channel like i feel like in some of these photos the actor who plays derrick like looks like this oh yeah dude he also he does have the energy of former child star that now that's the wrong haircut but maybe if you just say life with derrick actor this guy lives on residuals this this derrick guy on the right seems like

he's really into medieval shit like medieval video games like like going to a renaissance fair but like spending a shit ton of money on swords nice yeah very expensive outfit yeah i'm still i'm definitely getting derrick vibes um yeah oh yeah derrick yeah haircut change but otherwise perfectly aligned well this is the derrick that didn't become a child actor right this derrick has something with like there's something about his teeth that it's like makes it seem like he's kind of got the same bite capacity as like a Titan from Attack on Titan.

Like he can unhinge his jaw? Yeah, it seems like he can unhinge his jaw and then like- Like swallow you whole? Yeah, I feel like this guy could like turn into like a fucking Junji Ito. Oh, yeah. If you like look away, he might eat your mom. Yeah, yeah. It's a Junji Ito oh yeah like if you like look away he might eat your mom yeah yeah it's

a junji ito novel like just like grab someone and warp them into a warp their body into a spiral uh yeah i mean he yeah you have to slash him in the nape of the neck in order to kill him yeah no there's no way you can kill this guy otherwise this guy seems like he's almost invincible yeah we don't know how big he is this might but i would say i i just get danger from this man where i'm like where where he's he seems dangerous and i just for that uh yeah i put him c yeah because you're afraid i'm a little bit worried about this guy that's fair enough um i think the last liam is the last one i think we gotta do just liam rick was was uh i think rick got c i believe yeah i could be wrong and nick stayed in f okay well i did slip up with a low res photo for liam i'll admit that i made a

mistake there i the original photo was also in it was a very long portrait image so i had to cut off a lot of his body he is wearing blue jeans if that helps okay it's not in the image but liam seems like you know he seems at first i was a little bit off but then i'm like looking at him like he wants to be included you know he looks like he's like you don't have to put me in the chair list i'd like to but hey no it's all good yeah it's full yeah well i just don't want him to be like too like implicative with his like wanting to be included things so you can be rude about it oh i see what you mean you can be like difficult yeah well it'd be like oh it, it's fine. Yeah, I know. Like, where it's like, yeah, I just feel, you know. Like, he's, like, half addressing his social concerns. Like, he's not, like, he's just got to talk about it. A little bit of express, yeah.

Like, didn't get invited to the wedding or something. Yeah, but then he's, like, makes it a thing. And he's like, yeah, I just think. Good. And it's like, come on, Liam. What are you doing? You guys want to stick around? Oh, no, you had that dinner without me, is what you would.

Yeah, exactly. And it's like, no, that doesn't make us want to invite you more, dude. Like, that makes me want to stick around oh no you had that dinner without me is what you yeah exactly it's like and it's like no that doesn't make us want to invite you more dude like that makes me want us about your laughs do you guys see stranger things season four how about that yeah yeah i could see that and then you're like no he's like okay it feels like he kind of and i know i mentioned medieval before but it seems like he he watches that show about the guy like comparing the different martial arts and seeing how strong the kicks are and stuff from the certain forms of martial arts i thought you were gonna say deadliest warrior i think that's what i'm talking about oh yeah well like a pirate fights a dog yeah yeah i think this guy is a big fan of

deadliest warrior he feels like a history buff who like will well actually you about things oh yeah and mostly correctly yeah mostly correctly but like not in a way to mix but i think he's a good uh from just looking i feel like he's a good guy i feel like he would get married and never get divorced i think that yeah that's true i'll i'll honestly give him an i like him more than i think he's also mormon oh okay that's i was gonna put him in i think and i think he went on a mission but it was like it was like Tulsa oh dude he's fluent in Spanish for mission trips oh you think he went to like

Costa Rica or went to like like Mexico a very eventful gap year he also has a secret this cheeky little bastard he probably had like a margarita in Mexico while he was on his mission.

And, like, he's holding that in from, like, his parents and his family. And he's, like, distraught from Joseph. That's, like, soaking. You can't get in trouble for it. Oh, he totally soaked or he did whatever that thing is. Gross. I hate that term. Or, I mean, I hate thinking about it.

Oh, I love thinking about it oh i love thinking about it it's like soaking you look a little too excited actually you kidding me yeah no it's like uh all right fellas fight final uh just decision on liam i'm i will throw him in the sea i know he's getting kind of stacked yeah but i don't like him as much as any of the bees i think he's nice enough though and i think that he's not gonna I don't think he's ever going to hurt anyone in his life. I do like him more than any of the Cs, though. I think he's a B. Can we put him at the bottom of B?

Like if we ranked it... Just imagine him as a C plus or something. Oh, wait. But now he's below Damien. Or not that... Who is... Did I have a Damien? Oh, Simon.

Simon. But he felt like a Damien or not that. Who is, did I have a Damien? Oh, Simon. Simon. But he felt like a Damien. Can you pull him to the right of? Oh yeah, we like him more, I guess. Oh, oh no. That's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.

That's pretty low. Yeah. Perfect. And look, he's admiring Simon. Yeah, he is. All right. Wow, Simon, you're so strong. That's so cool.

Do you do wakeboarding, you said? That's epic. I've always wanted to try it. Yeah, thank you for indulging me in my game. It felt very educational. I got a call from Iran. Okay. Do you need to take it?

No, I just got a call from Iran. Where are they going? Amazon.com, you've been charged uh twelve hundred dollars on your default card saved on amazon.com if you're not many such transaction uh that's then press one to cancel your like they're talking like as if they were on the phone with me uh is it like an i message number and they're gonna say like uh email us at yeah dude that's a scam call xyz yeah one two three dude a scam call from iran that's crazy yeah security card what's your like address or something yeah yeah they should have probably made the call from seattle if they're right you google headquarters of yeah um all right ted well

thank you so much for for joining us yeah thanks for having me man uh this is a bonus episode i'll admit it oh yeah so um on the bonus today uh i'm gonna talk about uh how i almost got into a fight on a plane leaving twitch to talk about that yeah um so uh you'll have to head on over to patreon.com slash sowboys for that if you like you can subscribe for as low as five dollars and i will be addressing sitting gate some people have continued to discuss the way that i sit on the podcast you do kind of sit like a little like a little guy don't please don't give them ammunition please you sit how do you sit you sit like um i mean you do sit kind of like a high school art teacher in some way this is so much worse than what they're saying

please don't you seem like you could do Chris Boss episodes anywhere anytime yeah I'm trying to connect with the students I'm trying to explain

why art is good whatever thanks everyone for listening to the show Ted you have a podcast oh I do and it's called

Chuckle Sandwich and if you want to watch it then you can watch the first episode or the episode we did with the first episode the episode we did with jarvis during our chuckle week where he came into the studio that we did it was cool pop-up thing it was a very cool studio it was a fun time randall time and i uh tried to figure out schlatt's sense of humor uh which is a bit of an enigma yeah yeah

no you were definitely were a little bit of a baptism by fire there. Yeah. That's true. First time meeting him. Yeah. And he just was showing you the secret phone. The secret phone. Oh, I think I busted out a phone.

You did bust out a phone. Like a second phone that I pulled out. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was good. He's got like five different phones. He's got, it's called Money Tree. You heard of this?

No. He's just sending money to each of these phones and somehow it increases it oh right it's not legal yeah it's like an infinite money glitch i think yeah literally literally anything else you want to shout out ted uh no i want to shout out the patreon for sad boys go send my beautiful boys some cash money oh yeah there's a bunch of i don don't know, there's like 30 episodes of stuff there if you want your extra sad boys. Oh yeah, that's true. You can get

it for as low, low, low as five bucks and then you get all the episodes. Oh. But with all that being said, we end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. We love you. And we are sorry. Boom. Let's jump into some of these voicemails i want to hear

i want to hear the voice of the people most embarrassing story here we go picture this it's third grade i'm like what nine years old so i ended up just it's the ultimate that was was actually Gucci. Holy shit.