Sad Boyz - We TRIED To Give Out Advice...

Episode Date: October 29, 2022

This week the boyz talk about Big Sean's instagram captions, Jarvis being embarrassed to send messages, England's 2nd Liz falling, when they'll know they've made it, and a bunch of pen palz submissions. Listen To Us! Spotify ▸ https://sadboyzpod.com/spotify Apple Podcasts ▸ https://sadboyzpod.com/itunes Follow Us https://instagram.com/sadboyz https://twitter.com/sadboyz Follow Jordan https://twitter.com/jordanadika https://instagram.com/jordanadika Follow Jarvis https://twitter.com/jarvis https://instagram.com/jarvis Outro music @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank

I got this shirt at Zara, it's like denim, which I'm into. I dig it. I just need a bigger chain. You're also welcome to raid the clothes box. You're welcome to be a shadow legend on my clothes boxes and wherever they are. Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also i'm jarvis i'm jordan that was cool that pause was downright pregnant yeah it was uh i impregnated you all there's an eight month term pause right there yeah it's almost ready to pull up yeah oh my god wait

can we talk about so um so this is not something that is on our agenda for today, but when you said that, I have to mention Big Sean and Janae Aiko, friends of the show, they're expecting. And Big Sean has been posting on Instagram, you know, these cute photos of them both. And the captions on the photos are so funny. Let me send you... Okay. Are you able to get on your Instagram, Jordan? Can I just send this to you via Instagram?

Okay. Yeah, my mom gave me access to Instagram again because I was... Okay, great. Yeah, no, I'm glad. You've only got 10 minutes, so use your time wisely. yeah i was like my my mom gave me access to instagram again because okay great yeah no i'm glad you've only got 10 minutes so use your time wisely oh hell yeah dude it's do you want to describe it uh yeah i would uh so big, clearly a fan of your merch, is wearing your merch in jacket form. Right, true, actually. Yeah, I didn't even notice that. A tasteful skinny tie.

His baby mama is in, I don't know, like a satin dress. Yeah, she looks gorgeous. She looks beautiful. They both look incredible. They both look amazing. The caption is the only reason this is notable to me. It is just Finna Pop. Finna Pop.

It's Finna Pop. And then it's this emoji, which implies that Big Sean is going to catch the baby. Yeah, it's going to pop it like projectile. Yeah, it's going to pop out of her and I'm going to catch it as big Sean. Big Sean with a football helmet on it. The opposite side of the birthing room. Yeah. It just doesn't like it.

And also, Oh, it's a Corvette jacket. Like the second photo is really sick. I mean, I, I like big Sean. I don't know if he has any controversies or anything,

but I quite like big Sean. Obviously he's like a little corny, a little cheesy, and so am I. So love his music. Have for a long time. Love Jhene Aiko's music. Love them together. Beautiful couple. Hilarious captions, Big Sean.

Why are you doing this? This is so sick. Here's the other one. Here's the other one that I want to send you. I typed in Horden. Horden. Horden. Horden Adika. So this one.

So this one, Big Sean, is in a nice Burberry shirt. Janae Aiko is looking very lovely in a dress that I can only describe as fancy curtains. It looks like the veil of a wedding gown, but the whole dress. The whole dress, yeah.

But they look awesome. Again, it's not about how they look. They're at a baby shower, and Big Sean's caption is, nothing more creative than creating a creation. And then this emoji again i loved it one of the pictures uh they're surrounded by the balloons but those are just a just a nasa rocket ship why is that it looks cool i mean he's like we're about to blast off about to pop baby about to pop into space we're about to pop into space and uh is that a real card

proud dad it looks like it's chopped it looks like a license plate um we're gonna have to send these to austin are you you good yeah so my favorite part about this caption nothing more creative than creating a creation is that to big sean having a baby is the ultimate collab yeah new baby wake up babe yo we this is we kind of popped literally on this one we kind of popped off my wife popped off on this baby my wife popped off on this baby the other emoji and maybe this is where the nasa rocket comes in is the black heart emoji which could be interpreted as just a heart i guess um and then the world the world emoji and i don't know how that comes into it they collabed on it right oh he's

referencing uh god the holy trinity nothing more creative right the the ultimate more creative than creating a creation the earth featuring jesus and the holy ghost truth um well anyway that was a fun way to to start us off i you said pop and then i couldn't unremember that uh anyway yeah incredible post perfect opportunity i was thinking the other day do you think i could what do you think the reaction would be if either or one of us let's say it's it's it's you because you've had a uh you've been visible for a much longer amount of time right so the deception would be even more impressive if in one of your videos live stream probably a live stream that would make the most sense you just had like a wife and child

come in briefly and like a six-year-old and i like oh like not sorry i like push them out of a stream. Yeah. Or you finish that. You think you finish the stream, but you accidentally leave it running. I end it. And then my wife walks in and my child. And then, yeah, we have a longing embrace. A longing embrace.

It's like, how was fifth grade? How was fifth grade? You're like, dad, i got into middle school do you learn doing the math when did he have this kid doesn't add up yeah hold on um speaking of having a kid which i don't have one good luck um i i wanted to talk about... I have a lot of anxieties. One of which is I can't seem to... I get anxious watching Netflix alone. I'll explain that at some other time. But it's a weird...

Are you worried about the sustainability of the streaming model? Right, yeah. It's like it really... I mean, they just burn so much money and they keep killing their best shows. Look at what they've done to the cinema. But one thing that came up recently that I was like, oh, this is just a weird oddity about my personality that I want to share with the world for some reason is that sometimes I get anxious about sending a particular message or talking to a particular person and I will like delete the conversation thread so that I don't have to see it so that it like doesn't exist in my brain. Kind of like out of sight, out of mind. If I get a message back, I get a message back. on a date like i meet somebody at a party or something and i get their instagram or their

number and then i'm like hey do you want to get a coffee sometime like that kind of thing i can't bear staring at like every time i see like the text of me like making the ask and getting not getting a response i feel what's the word embarrassment secondhand embarrassment for myself firsthand embarrassment i think it's called the guy that is yeah cringe this theoretical which is me yeah this guy how dare you ask somebody out for coffee and uh how dare you think that that was a thing that you should do this isn't how couples start they come out no they pop no they pop world and they take over the world baby nothing more creative um and so i did that recently and i like literally like sent somebody a message that was that message

and then i deleted the conversation and i like restricted them on Instagram so I wouldn't get a notification when I blocked, deleted, phone number, moved. Wiped my phone, moved. I will do that sometimes. Like sometimes I will. Sometimes I will like unmatch people on a dating app. Okay. Because I sent a risky message and the risky message is like like the the example that's coming to mind is I said in that we were like sort of riffing bits back and forth and I was like so

are you gonna ask me out or not like as a joke and that was probably fine to say but because i felt so anxious about it i just deleted the i unmatched the person because i was like i'm feel i feel cringe and i can't bear the thought of someone else experiencing me being cringe so and i don't think it would have been cringe if they had like responded immediately but because they hadn't responded i was like never mind never mind on this entire interaction i have the answer in fact i don't exist yeah so which one of us is going to ask the other one out actually i know and it's not me or you and my name was different and i'm getting married goodbye yeah it's like and then she's probably thinking like oh where did that guy go or she's not thinking that at all but i i fear that somebody's gonna be like oh where did that guy go and then the answer is i was too embarrassed and so i took

myself out of the equation uh i mean it's understandable i have um a lot of and something people should know actually by the way if they want to uh emulate and i think it's perfectly healthy to remove the text thread for example yeah um if people want to do that don't worry that it is archived on icloud if you needed like messages or something you can just yeah save yourself some energy and also like bf Yeah, yeah, check in. I've got access to it. Yeah, you've got access. I've got access. Chris from FBI surveillance has it.

What's up, Chris? Hey, what's up? You, this weekend, still destabilizing a Central American country, or you want to send me some post-tags? What's getting you busy? Yeah, because when you're back from that, dude, we should watch the big game. The big game! The big game! The big game! I'm mad about it. I'm a slice of Americana.

After depriving another country of its own culture. Yeah, after importing a new drug we've never heard of into every hospital. I guess it's not the SBI, usually it's a more cia but same difference collab featuring yeah it's like a big sean janae aiko nothing more that's why the world emoji because the fbi rules there is nothing more creative than uh a global cabal creating a new. I was going to say, creating a new government for a country. The collab with Bolsonaro just dropped. Oh my god.

New nation. Oh, yo, well, speaking of world politics, I just want to say, I can't believe we lost another big one. Can't believe we lost another queen. First the queen, 44 days later, we lost Liz Truss. Two Liz's down, dude! we're smoking on that liz pack we have a hundred percent liz fatality rate in power right now in terms of power yeah like liz trust is still alive trust i mean you know i guess but

what is life after that yeah an l of the scale yeah who do I trust who can I trust after this Liz me to die I guess we should explain because this one I feel like the queen everybody knew what was going on but but this one's a little bit you got to be tuned in to the BBC to know a thing or two you got to really uh respect the process you gotta be a liz head like me yeah um yeah we should say okay um i was gonna say a little while ago british about 46 days ago as of the time we're recording this uh to the day a conservative mp named liz trust took over power after uh boris' exiting of the Tory party, aka the Conservative party in the UK and has now, as of two days ago, three days ago when recording

this, ended electively, but also kind of being pushed out by the Tory party Yeah, I was going to say that kind of seems like, yeah because that's what happened with Boris too because he was like So the beautiful thing about about like uh british

electoral politics is that there's so much i mean contrast this against january 6th committee contrast it against the uh uh uh any attempt to uh like instigate some accountability for the trump administration it's so funny that in both of these cases the thing that ultimately in in british politics that you can get ousted for is bad vibes like you can yeah you can do something so so against social decorum that you have to stop being i felt out of my bones because ultimately it's not like what my problem was going against like the policy of tax cuts that liz trust wanted to bring in dropped her approval rating down to four percent very funny that's such a low percentage shockingly low i actually did not know that

approval percentages can get that single digit is weird right that's yeah it just feels like a mistake let me just check that exactly right I feel like even like people who just go off I don't know like I feel like

trying to think of a famously unpopular character I feel like serial killers have a higher approval rating. Um, we have... Serial killers have, like, stands and stuff. Oh, it was... 80% disapproval... Okay, she might have got to... 13%? Alright, it's a bit vague, cause there's like national census and there's some bullshit Congrats. But, you know, hey, pop off. Nothing more creative than taking a huge L. But, like,

between Boris Johnson and, um, I'm forgetting his name. British MP What the fuck? What's wrong with my brain? brain dude i've been having it too uh oh it's it's a little bit of a cheeky name uh dominic cummings this is already pressed the like, auga!

So, Dominic Cummings was the former chief advisor to the Prime Minister, this is during COVID, and he basically, I won't go into the details, but he, right after lockdown went super hardcore. After that shit was locked down, you know what I mean? Yeah. After it was about ready to pop, he

notoriously visited family. He was traveling on the road, which he was not allowed to pop he uh notoriously visited family he was traveling on the road which he was not allowed to do only in the sky and he uh the got the uk equivalent of council which is just a scowl no no no no like just the again bad vibes he effectively just gave such bad vibes that he was also pushed out like this this shit this the number of and not to get like overly heavy the number of war criminals and sex offenders in u.s like politics that basically could just get out of that conversation by just like taking a vacation to carbo for two weeks and waiting for the news cycle goes away yeah i want to remind everyone boris johnson spent the vast majority of his journalist career up until and including when he was mayor of london writing articles about how people in hijabs can't be trusted that was like his whole career

got ousted for going to a party when you weren't allowed to because you can do whatever you want you could be a xenophobe a racist criminal anything what you cannot do is go against the social you can be impolite when you say i get tea with the vicar you turn up all right that's wild you bring milk you bring sugar you do not slip it's just like such a funny little thing to get in trouble for and liz trust there was like policy reasons for her to pull out awful approval ratings all of that but ultimately it was just cringe like it was bad vibes and the the tory party is just like ew bad vibes you're actually you're failing the vibe check right now could you please go the flavor's off on this one uh if we're about ready to pop it was uh hey man maybe maybe i was

boring talking about politics cut it if so but peace out two liz's in the sky two lizzie in the sky with diamonds r.i.p bozo lizzie in the sky with diamonds okay but again she is alive this is in reference to power her power is alive though doesn't she continue to make like a hundred grand a year for the rest of her life oh my god that's wild dude that's wild kind of sick the best the most lucrative 44 days of all time it's so funny it's so funny and what's great is her term was cut short so it's like okay i guess she lost access to a job that's notoriously hated by everyone that's ever done it you get all the benefits of it and this weird social stigma will go away in like six hours because there is no like archiving of like political figures like

nope if if a politician uh or a former prime minister has not been prime minister for like five years, they just don't get to work ever. Nobody talks about David Cameron. Nobody talks about Gordon Brown. These names might even be new to you, right? Like they are just disappearing in the ether. And it is just, it's so sly that honestly, primo. Primo.

Primo, dude. honestly primo primo primo dude this is like doing a really really bad uh ad placement on a youtube video that pops off so bad you just never have to make content ever again yeah it's like i mean it was weird how george bush was like george bush was like a terrible president and like started the iraq war and like destabilized the entire middle East. And, uh, and then, and, and then left and was like, I like to paint. And everybody was like,

we kind of love this little guy. That's so silly. We need to return to proper Republicans like George Bush. Yeah. It's like the fact that, you know, that is unironically something that people kind of say now is, is very weird.

Yeah. Yeah. We, uh, we need to return to a classical republicanism which is just when like you believe and do all the same things but you wear like a nicer suit although you keep in shape yeah as long as you're not wearing that brown suit that obama wore that one time oh don't even remind me yeah we stood next to those scary

lights we nearly got impeached for that shit i remember when biden was had scary light yo yeah oh that was like not that long ago and i feel like it's already do you remember the caravan that trump was a he was like all the immigrants are coming to the border and it's gonna be bedlam it's gonna be bedlam it's gonna pop he and it's going to be bedlam. It's going to be bedlam. It's going to pop. He said, it's going to pop. It's going to pop the border in two. And it's going to be a flood of, you know,

non, non, I'm trying to think of a term that they use. I was just going to say, none that I want to say. Yeah. None that I want to say. Like they're all so bad.

I told you about the time I was like, I just referred to myself as an immigrant in an Uber in LA. And this like 20 year old kid that was driving it was just like oh but like you've got papers suffering like the term immigrant was to him oh my god this is i mean so wild 2019 and the kid was like he was my age or younger he was like a 22 year old african-amer dude, right on otherwise we've been talking about like bullshit Trump stuff and I completely aligned with him and then he just dropped that and I'm like wow this is not even a negative thing.

So if you were like I don't have papers, is he gonna take you to the police? Yeah he's like taking- What is it? He's like papers please, papers please. Takes off his mask. Yeah, it's like actually I have an immigration officer um that's wild bizarre and I didn't even

get like mad because it doesn't come from a place of malice obviously but I also it's it's just such a it's it's such a like small priority I guess but the discourse or whatever is talking about just like and also I don't get ascribe the term immigrant because I'm like

Legally white you know what I mean like people are just like oh well, you know these You could be a legal quote a legal immigrant from the UK and people would be like what a man He's just on an extended vacation. Yeah. That is like- He's lost his way. The most common, uh, oh, like expat, by the way. Expat is just white immigrants.

Oh, right. A term for white people. Yeah, they get to be expats. That's if you're an immigrant and you make over $70,000 a year, you're allowed to call yourself an expat. Yeah. Uh, it's so fucking70,000 a year. You're allowed to call yourself an expat. Yeah. It's so fucking surreal, man. Yeah.

And it's frustrating because it is something I benefit from, right? Like, it's not... Oh, for sure. It's a stigma that, like, helps me. It's nice that the guy was surprised that in his mind I didn't have papers, you know? He wasn't driving to the cops by default.

So for this episode, we've amassed a bunch of pen pals and we wanted to go through them for the rest of the episode but first i wanted to talk a little bit about mario kart um which is an institution as old as time at this point and i in my old age have decided that i want to get good at mario kart i don't know what has sparked this interest mario kart and mario party two games that i feel like i don't play as an adult i i want to like have friends over and host a little party where we're playing old mario game yeah and absolutely dominate yeah absolutely crush my stupid friends i want to yeah

i do want to get good enough to crush my stupid friends i want to yeah i do want to get good enough to crush my stupid friends i remember when i remember when um when it's been so there there is a it's been um in high school russell and i were scheduled to take the psat like the SAT test, and we didn't go to school. We skipped school, and instead we went to Russell's house and we ordered Domino's pizza and we played Mario Party all day. That is like the most hardcore shit I feel like I've ever done in my life. And I don't know why we did that, but it worked out. Like we had to take the pre-ACT, or the pre-act which is called the plan

test i think but anyway no it will sat versus act they're like two different standardized tests that are both used for like college admissions they're the same type of tests but have different scales i think the act goes up to 36 um The SAT is out of 1600. So, yeah. Depending on the era, the SAT is out of 1600. I didn't do it. It was too easy. I didn't want to do it. Yeah, they're pretty easy.

I feel like it's a different country. So, I don't know. I just wanted to say that. That was your bad boy phase. Say? In your bad boy era? In my bad boy era? Yeah, dude. That was pretty pretty i'm trying to get back to

that basically like that was maybe when i was the coolest well now yeah because now we have more agency over not doing stuff we're completely allowed to not go to school if you know the amount of plant in fact they would not like it if i showed up at school get really pissed fine i'll go play mario party i guess so yeah they ask they escort me out every morning i try to go um don't do that okay that's a joke god that sounds horrible um all right pen pals oh you know what i think it would be cool if we had like a pen pal jingle what if people like submitted i don't i don't know how i feel about like it would be if if anyone felt like it submitting a jingle for a pen pal that we might use yes i like that could be nice um but yeah emphasis on if you if you feel

like if you feel like like i don't want to yeah i don't want to like make people like do free labor you know what i mean yeah hey man but if you if you enjoy it if you want to, yeah, I don't want to, like, make people, like, do free labor, you know what I mean? Yeah, hey, man, but if you enjoy it, if you want to be wacky and fun, and maybe we'll play a couple of them. If you come in, we'll maybe rotate and then find more stuff. We will play them. If you send it, we will play them. So there's at least that. It'll be my text tone, I'll play it at my funeral. It'll be three or four years, but you'll hear it soon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be, yeah. Oh, shit, I hope that's not foreshadowing. If so, it was Jarvis. Yeah, wait, wait, no. Yo, I got a pen pal for you. I'll email this in for us right now. You're like, I got a pen pal for you. One of these.

I got a pal for you right here. A knuckle sandwich. Knuckle pal. By the way, if people want to send a Ben Malin, you can do so. It's sadboyspod at gmail.com. If you want. I said if you want. If you want.

Stop punching the keyboard in an attempt to write something. You don't want to write. I mean, if somebody wants to do that. If somebody sends us an email that they didn't tell us they punched that's like how they wrote it that would be very funny but don't do it obviously except do this one let me pull these bad fellas up

I got some pens for you pal pin me up pal don't like that pal me up pin we can have a break I think I need a technical difficulty. 15, 20 minutes, couple hours.

Tell me about the pals that we have, that we share. Ben, Gillette. Tell me about Ben and Teller, our pals. There's a lot of good ones. I mean, people have been, I tell you what, people have been sending in a lot of pen pals. And they are really great and people should keep doing it

there's one really really short one here that I actually just popped at the top because we kind of talked about it I don't know two weeks ago whatever that last episode was let's knock them out hey could you they said not to say their name but you'll know who you are you little devil hey could you guys uh

parentheses boys either is fine um talk about friend breakups going through a recent separation of friends and it sucks thanks for all you do nice things i don't want to say out loud yes yes uh yeah we can talk about that we kind of did did did we so yeah we had that uh pen pals from anya anya anya anya yeah a couple weeks ago uh asking about kind of kind of tangentially related to this between she had a friend that kind of distanced themselves and wasn't sure why and she was holding up some guilt there it's this is i think different enough to still talk about but just i think it's an interesting trend because i think I've seen another pen pals with a similar topic, maybe even a few. I think it is a little bit of an epidemic.

I think there is like a trend of communities fizzling lately. In fact, a friend of mine is struggling with the exact same thing as of like a week ago we were talking about it. There is just something in the air or at least people being more vocal about it. I don't know. Yeah week ago we were talking about it there is just something in the air or at least people being more vocal about it i don't know yeah people being more vocal about it i think i think it is ultimately a good thing because this sort of communication this sort of clear communication about boundaries and wants and needs i don't feel was as common when i was growing up you know what i mean not yet like i feel like if you it's more common tomorrow than it is today and it's more common today than it was yesterday you know what

i mean yeah yeah exactly progress yeah and so did you have um uh did your friendships that kind of dissolved because you wanted to communicate more about that kind of stuff i have some friends where it was sort of a brick wall like i wanted to be that kind of person i mean like the last five years i i think for me no i think fortunately i mean when i was in high school and i wasn't in therapy and i had like a lot of undiagnosed like mental health things that I didn't know how to cope with I was bad about not taking it out on friends but looking to so I needed somewhere to put that energy and I needed support and I didn't know how to ask for it and so I think I put some friends in the position of overwhelm because of my undiagnosed anxieties and things like that.

In adulthood, I kind of can clock when friends can't engage in certain certain arenas and I don't put that on them. I kind of try to let the relationships be what they are. And if I don't want to, I think that I just naturally gravitate towards the people who kind of make me feel like I can be my whole self around them rather than people who I feel like I need to hold back certain aspects of my personality, you know, the good or the bad. And obviously the goal is never to put a bunch of stuff onto your friends, but feeling like you can't be a human. Like I've never expressed anything emotional to a good friend of mine, Eddie Burback, friend of the show. And the other day he was like,

he texted me and I was like, dude, with full transparency, I'm having a rough mental health day. I would love to do that. That sounds lovely. I am confining myself to my bed right now and trying to like pass the day. You know what I mean? I'm trying to like move on to the next one. And he was extremely supportive about it. And it was a moment where, you know, I was one very flattered and I think I was very like grateful to have him as a friend. Even though I'm not one, very flattered, and I think I was very grateful to have him as a friend, even though I'm not one to take advantage of that usually.

I'm usually, because I have those experiences in the past, I am very slow to open up about my needs. I usually am like, okay, I have therapy, I have doctor, I have other places that I can get this help um but trying to find that boundary i guess i think that the people who you want to be around there's a lot more space for you to be yourself than you're giving yourself credit for and if and and people grow apart uh and most of my relationships with friends ending i would say do the slow fizzle where you just like suddenly haven't talked for like five years yeah they're like um erosion right that's yeah or even having like any of the same shared experiences like all of my i just didn't

maintain any friendships from after i moved but like after college 21 moved 3 000 miles away or whatever and i just never maintain those but that i think is part because those weren't my people in the same way exactly i moved and maintained friendships over you know even as somebody that's never in either country more than two months now i maintain the friendships that matter to me the most because a they matter the most because a they matter the most because those connections are the deepest but they're also like the most intuitive which is how they got the deepest i mean your any example is good and i would say that really anybody i'm close to i'm close to because on those days which yeah the couple of weeks have had a lot of those.

I can, I have no anxiety about saying that. I don't think that I will, the people I'm closest to know that I'm being sincere because some people in the past, honestly, I have expressed things to like that before and they have, they're not saying it out loud because these people were not good communicators uh have just sort of been like he's avoiding me there's something he's not saying and the problem is you can't say what you're not saying you need people that they need to pass the vibe check they need to trust you and understand what you are trying to communicate and take the emotional burden off of you.

The only friendships that I think, only casual friendships I've maintained are people that I've just, like, in an office. Like, people that I've, like, that mid-level of connection, low to mid-level of connection are people that I would see every day anyway. And then, like, two people that I went to college with because after we both separated in lives and then i came back to the uk for a little bit and we were in communication because it was covid and just reaching out to people we realized that we had both evolved into the kind of people that were comfortable having those conversations

independently right and now that's big too yeah yeah it's it's uh you know coming back with new haircuts right post post glow up oh my god it's some vacations over and look at brad he's ripped this is awesome so um let me see was there a specific question about it i think just talking about it yeah so they're going through a recent separation of friends and it sucks um it it does and i maybe this is too blanket a statement but um uh divorce is never bad news i mean it kind of had it kind of it's one of those life lessons that you kind of have to take what's there for you rather than focus on what's lost right right? Like, focus on what you have, not, like, what you don't. And... And trust that you have the capacity to get it again elsewhere.

Yeah, and there's nothing to fix. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing to, you know... Like, everyone on this planet is going to find... has the capacity to find their people. And so, if you've gone through a friend separation, that's a unfortunately sudden way to go about this thing but you know your people are out there and um you'll know when

you found them because i found one i think yeah and i know we said this last time as well but the same thing applies for romantic relationships right yeah of of uh of any type it's not a breakup is always the right thing for at least one of the parties which means it's the right thing for both parties you shouldn't try and like preserve a relationship where you're not mutually appreciated and shouldn't try and duct tape a friendship together that one person's not being enthusiastic about yeah don't do that don't do that I think surround yourself with like people who enthusiastically want to be around you yeah uh all right just uh I'm sending sending us to the uh the big Sean post he just um let's uh let's move on and let's try to get through a couple actually.

I want to try to start knocking some of these out. I am seeing what's like the most... This one's not too long, this one's pretty straightforward. I think we can, yeah. Hi. Hi. Hello. Okay. I don't really know what to say oh okay no worries uh we can

anyway next time i don't really know what to say so i'm just gonna ask my question you can read this on the podcast oh shit that's good that was that was a close one so i I'm African-American and biracial, black and white. Don't believe the hype. Did you get your race card? From Travis. Oh, and I live in East Africa. I'm in high school. And so basically here, people consider me white.

Parentheses like completely 100% white, even though I'm 50-50. It gets really tiring to try and defend my race slash ethnicity and the fact that I'm actually both and usually identify as black. Honestly, up until I was eight or nine, I considered myself brown. So anyways, should I even care what they think? Should I keep trying to convince people? And how should I try and deal with the identity crisis of living in a place with mainly white people when i visit america and being considered alone and being considered how should i try to try to deal with the identity crisis of living in a place with mainly white people because like he's basically saying in america he's considered black in in this east african high school that he's at saying in America he's considered black in this East African high school that he's at.

Yeah. Because of different racial dynamics, he's considered white. Because of the fact that race is a fake concept. Yeah, exactly. You want to oppress people. You're always going to be the one that's easiest to oppress. Yeah. And it's also high school where people are are just not nuanced about stuff yeah and you know

don't this is a shitty situation like i'm i it sucks that you're going through this and i think that it will become less of an apparent thing when you're like when you when you sort of are out of high school and sort of becoming an adult because I do like I cannot directly relate to this Jordan I want to hear your opinion of course but I being a biracial you know half black half white person who doesn't know the white dad didn't know he had a white dad grew up grew up black you know was always asked in elementary school and stuff it's like are you mixed oh oh you're light-skinned oh you're mixed like what are you mixed with like that kind of thing um versus just kind of being like oh you know my uh it's like people with my skin tone

could be you know three generations deep of like having the skin tone because you know uh white slave owners like yeah like yeah i've been hearing about that yeah they were doing something rather yeah and so i think that like being culturally black there's nothing wrong with that but kids are younger people without the presence of mind and the context really try to i don't, they just have no filter. And so they're like, you're different than me. I need to classify. I need to classify the differences.

And they're always going to err on the side of othering. Because like, yeah, classifying difference, they will go as minute as they need to. They will go down to the like fraction because they're looking for everything that's not super because because other because this even happens in homogenous cultures you know it's like it could it could be down to you know the cast that your family's in it could be down to like there's just so many different ways to differentiate people and unfortunately as humans like i think that it's in our nature to kind of divide ourselves for whatever reason we love you yeah one thing that i wanted to say in addition to this is that when i um went from elementary school to middle school the middle school i went to was in a

different side of town and gainesville was very like sort of defat like it was um redlined so like the all the black people lived on one side of town all the white people lived on the other side of town and that was also that more affluent area of town so i was a good coincidence yeah who knew what a weird freaky thing what's that so what happening yeah everywhere um when i went to middle school, I was around way more white people. I knew like one white guy named David in elementary school. That was the only white guy I knew. And so when people told me I talked white growing up, and we've talked about this in the podcast before, I genuinely, I was like, I don't know where I got it because I barely know any white. I only know David.

Did you do this david um but anyway the um when i went to middle school i was surrounded by way more white people and i i started getting like oh can i touch your hair like that type of that type of stuff and that was all new to me and it was like weird being exotic um in a different way so i like i have like the fisher price baby version maybe of this experience where where it's like it's like just my experience in america at like a predominantly black school versus a predominantly white school um did you i know we've talked about this before i think i know the answer which is for clarity did you immediately catch that that was microaggression behavior or that you were being othered in a toxic way? No.

Fetishization when you're a kid, being fetishized feels like positive attention because it's not negative. It was the same in my brain. The categorization was the same as the fact that I had a gap in my teeth. And I have a scar in the back of my head where hair doesn't grow from c-section complications and i used to always have a buzz cut and so those are the three things that people would always sort of physically point out about me they're like you have a hole in the back of your head or you have i mean or you have a bald spot or whatever it was that they were saying. And then also the, also you have a gap in your teeth. And like, these are just things that are obvious that kids are just like, you're, you're different than me.

It's like a baby. It's a baby's brain. Literally. It is a baby's brain. Man has a haircut, but on the bottom of his face. Yeah. But then you get like a little bit older and cause you can articulate yourself and make full sentences

at like age 14 or whatever people think you're a human but you're not a human being yet like not even close you're just still saying like man brown look man brown writer of the da vinci grode

it's man brown the da vinci grode oh dude my brain is collapsing Man Brown. Man Brown. Writer of the Da Vinci Code. It's Man Brown. The Da Vinci Code. The Da Vinci Code. Oh, dude, my brain is collapsing. Yeah, I mean, we have parallel experiences with that for sure. I don't... Here's the thing. I don't know what it would be like to have that experience in not just being perceived as white

in a predominantly black community but specifically in an African because that's like in my case in the UK nobody really talks about or acknowledges the origin of black people being in England

it's very muddy very like defocused I guess it's just like uh nothing to point a conversation ever about the past anything not great uh which is everything but the i don't know like there's such a clear correlation between people focusing on race in america and the history of america right? We know what it is. Any discourse about African Americans is always, you know, when it's white people talking about African Americans,

it's always the same topic, right? It's always in relation to the thing that happened. Yeah. And then a bunch of other shit. The dominoes and then actually you actually... You shouldn't get reparations because did you hear about these statistics I made up? Redlining, we just tossed a coin 10,000 times and it always landed heads.

But then like in East Africa, they don't say specifically where, but in East Africa, I have absolutely no idea what the perception is of white people and especially white immigrants because there are parts of the world that fucking love england that like love anglo culture and their entire history is just having their villages burned by people from england

yeah like it is just there is just just thousands of years of England abusing a nation, and then through just very effective propaganda and, I don't know, Bridgerton and Daphne Abbey, the perception is just like, oh my god, yes, yes, Britain, awesome. Hell yeah.

Hawaii loves Britain. And it's not the most apt example of that it's not there's not like as extensive an abuse of that culture a better example would probably be india actually there is like a plenty of anglophiles in india despite you know some not great behavior on the part of the british for hundreds and hundreds of years i don't know if they may be because they're clearly getting othered but they don't reference being othered in a hey you are white to us don't hang out with right or if it's the equivalent of hey can i touch your hair it's so like whatever it's like not like mine in a different way it's

so like weird and stuff uh but you know what the main question was is like doesn't matter and the answer is no it the fact that you're going through this matters yes and like i'm sorry and um but does i mean are you lesser for it or anything like that absolutely not and no absolutely not As you referenced, this is a classic. It gets better. The more you can distance yourself from baby brains, the less people will at least say it out loud. I want to apologize.

I've been on my phone. I have a friend whose plane just landed, and they just got to L.A., and they're navigating to my place so name address it's our friend it's our friend nikhil oh race indian prove it he he loves the british actually another one person i have always had like very very fun conversations with Nikhil about me being British and being Indian it is like a fun that is to get roasted for my culture I enjoy um let's knock out another one and then maybe wrap up another one I can read this one. Yeah. Oh, are you looking at the doc?

Yeah. PP2. PP2? PP2. Hello there. First, just wanted to say I adore your podcast. Okay. Shut the hell up.

You're charmingly witty, disarmingly honest. I'm absolutely a fan. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So kind. I appreciate that. I'm writing to get your advice slash opinion on making some large purchases. Ooh. Uh, I love those. I'm a webcam model slash porn actress, and I've been saving money for a down payment on a house. Let's go. Um, my parents said they would help me out with the down payment, but they also wanted me to have some extra money squirreled away for potential future expenses.

It's always been a goal of mine to own my own home. Yeah, in these times, that's incredible. However, okay, so now there's a turn. For a while now, I've also been really wanting to get breast implants and a couple other minor procedures done for work. I priced them out and the total cost of work plus recovery would be around 20K.

Basically my part of the house down payment. I'm generally happy with my body, but I'm getting older and all my friends who have gotten new boobs all make significantly more money now than they did before the work. It seems like a smart business decision and having a great rack would be kind of awesome. I feel like getting the house first seems like the most responsible thing to do, especially since I already got my parents on board. However, another cam friend of mine thinks that getting the surgeries first will make it easier to get the house, assuming I'll be making more money.

If I pay for the surgeries cash, it also won't take my credit score when I apply for a mortgage. Do you think that I should get- Oh, interesting. Yeah, that I don't fully understand, actually. I think they're saying if i pay for the surgeries in full instead of you know half down i see yeah i guess it depends on like the payment plans maybe is what maybe there's like an implied payment plan potential um if i pay for

the surgeries cash it also won't take my credit score when i apply for a mortgage do you think i should get the house first to say fuck it and get some new titties? Sincerely, House of Honkers. I think it's House or Honkers, right? House or Honkers, yeah. Welcome to the House of Honkers. Happy Halloween. House of Honkers.

Honk, honk. Honk, honk. Yeah. Oh, this is an interesting one. So, let me make sure that I'm... It's interesting. I was wondering when they first started talking about wanting the surgery, the first thing that popped in my head is like,

that, I wonder how that would affect the business. I was like, this is not the same as just anybody getting it. Yeah. Okay, well, what I'll say up front with some confidence is, I don't know yeah i will i will say that do not trust us with this decision however you know it is a you know boiling this down to i'm making a work investment that has a personal element versus making a personal investment that has a work element, assuming it's your lodging.

It's, you know, you probably are, you know, if this person says they webcam model, so, you know, they're probably going to be working from home. So it's, there are two sides of the same thing. I think ultimately, obviously the decision is up to you what would i do well it sounds like you're already ready to get the house and so that i think that having a discussion maybe with your parents because they're involved in like the down payment and stuff maybe they have some insights there i i don't know the the relationship but for their um insights not their decision obviously yeah yeah their insights regard yeah but hmm you know another here's something worth considering how what does the timeline look like yeah of the other thing you know how how long are we talking between these two

these two things because which way around right yeah because it's the gap shorter on either side well yeah because like one could say if the gap is long between like like, let's say you get the house and then you get the boobs. House to honkers. Yeah. If you get the house first, then that does not necessarily affect your income from what you're earning now, according to what is said here in the message. But if you get the boobs first, it does affect the income potentially. One is to assume that a bigger boobs, better person, I think is what they say. No, no, no. Yeah. I've read the studies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but if you get the boobs, maybe that you see a lift in earnings,

which could speed up that timeline. But if the timeline is like six months to five months, or is it like six months to two months? Is it a year to five years? You know what I mean? Like what are the timescales that we're looking at? And then maybe plot out like, yeah, each side. Am I okay waiting six months for the boobs? Am I okay waiting six months for the house? One boob now, one boob later. Yeah, and then financially, what are these mortgage payments going to look like? How hard is it?

Because parents are helping with the down payment. They reference wanting extra money so i don't know if that means that i i'm not sure how it's portioned out as in if we do the down payment i would have to spend all of my extra money to also do this i'm not sure how much the extra money would be we also know how much the down payment is uh i you know it's funny actually because you and me have had a lot of conversations like this in the how much the down payment is. It's funny, actually, because you and me have had a lot of conversations like this in the past about our own lives, kind of expressing to the other person, should I do this, should I do that?

And it strikes me like a specific kind of conversation where we're trying to quantify something that's not all quantifiable, because the one thing she's she's given a pro con she's given a um and i think your advice is bang on by the way i don't have anything i agree with all of that one thing that you're that she's not they actually don't know about you um that they are not expressing here in the pro-con is the emotional component or the emotional fulfillment. And that includes emotional fulfillment of having that money squirreled away

and having less anxiety. Yeah, absolutely. We just don't know. It's like, especially in this housing market, it's really hard to say, like not financial advice, but emotionally, how is it gonna make you feel to have your own spot that you own versus and then all the other expenses where you're living right now yeah true and how and and like how that place makes you feel so i think these are just things

to consider like like am i going to be significantly happier and more content in my own house that I own? Or am I going to, like, it sounds like you're comfortable in your body and maybe the new boobs are like fun and a smart business call as you've characterized it here. So maybe ask yourself, how much does that add to my happiness or comfort? And if the house is going to add a lot more to the happiness and the comfort, congrats, by the way, that's an incredible position to be in. Then maybe prioritize the house um there's also the how sure how sure are you that the investment the business investment in the boob job is going to increase your bottom line and in terms of work you've got like friend you've got friends who causation correlation yeah yeah and their money went up or yeah because i mean like and these are just questions that we don't have

the answers to but i'm like are you doing different types of shoots that you can't do now is it like the same stuff but with bigger boobs you know like is there um i'm like special conferences yeah there's special conferences where you need a certain bus size um there's also like if you're if you're i mean are there creative ways to not fake it but to more accentuate your current assets in the meantime you know i think your note about like what's the amount of time between is really yeah pretty pretty essential because a i would assume the amount of money for one is not the exact same amount as for the other right we we know it's 20 20k for the surgery but yeah i also don't know how that affects how soon would you be working afterwards right away

hey there's a lot here this feels like a weird thing to say for something that is related to money but it is more like advice that I have received and have given around like relationships or sometimes changing jobs or at least like giving feedback

or saying something to a friend your gut you do have a gut instinct there is one that you or sometimes changing jobs or at least giving feedback or saying something to a friend, your gut, you do have a gut instinct. There is one that you want to do more now. If you really sit back, when you were writing this, there is one that you 51% want to do.

There is no way that it's exactly half. So, flip a coin. Flip a coin heads heads boobs uh tails honkers then see the result of the coin and then see how you feel i guess you did make the decision. Yeah. Boobs are honkers. Yeah. Heads. Heads. His house.

Tails. His. His. His apartment. No. Heads. His house. Tails.

His honkers. And then. And then. Just see emotionally. It's like. And I'm fully going to commit to the house. And then you go. Ooh. I don't know how you feel about

that yeah yeah or uh if while like literally the coin is flipping in the air if there's even a little part of you that's like yeah yeah i mean there's there's there's an answer in your heart and you can question it and you can quantify it and there's nothing wrong with doing that and maybe that gap of time is reasonable enough but if you really really enthusiastically are like I want to get the surgery, mean a lot to me, I'd find it really fulfilling and it is a positive, whether or not it's a positive or anything

honestly if it really would be fulfilling and I won't get a ton of anxiety and fear about my living situation go for it. If in reverse you think that is like I don't even want to say like luxury because it's more like um gender affirmation or uh uh presentation affirmation etc etc it's if it's really really something you want to do and you would find fulfilling for either if either one is something really fulfilling then do the one that you feel would be the most fulfilling and also um i don't know it

it's cool that your parents are getting involved and presumably they would be willing to get involved later yeah you know if it's not time dependent the other thing and i think that this is addressed in your message but i do want to say that like the opportunity cost of getting the boobs as well like lost income for the recovery time like i think that's like total cost of work plus recovery yeah yeah but i'm like yeah what about you know yeah does that include the wages that could have been found a house like they know the place oh that's a good point too because that is a process in and of itself and i've been saving for a down payment on a house my money i don't think they did say that so it's possible i mean if they found the house and it

like started the process then obviously that probably wouldn't be a question about this right but uh yeah that's interesting yeah basically sounds like they've been saving up to make this house payment and then there there is this other thing they're very passionate about and they're deciding whether or not to use now they've saved up and they got the surplus of funds they're deciding whether or not to do the damn thing right yeah follow your gut follow your bust follow your butt follow your bust or butt bust or butt uh hey how often jarvis do you like wash a hoodie i have not what this patreon hoodie i've not washed since i live in san francisco for sure

oh you should wash it for sure i feel like the normal amount usually i feel like the only stuff that i don't want like if it's made of cotton or like a cotton blend then i throw it in the wash you know zip it up throw in the wash but um i may be exaggerating it's weird but like less than twice a year yeah that's funny i there are things though that i like wearing like jackets and coats and stuff where i i am afraid of throwing it in the wash like i think it'll just destroy it and so i recently did myself a did myself a solid and dry clean them which was i felt like i was living the lap of luxury like that was it was pretty sick and pretty sweet and pretty nice. That is like, I think peak life.

When I finally figured it all out, there'll be three signifiers. That's not a family. It's not friends. It's not general lifestyle, health, well-being, yawn. The things that to me really mean success is one, I got one of them fridges that gives you water. You know what I mean? And ice. I got one at the new place okay let's go dude yeah hey dude you're gonna be drinking i'll see you in five days drink up my guy you'll know that my plane has landed because i'll have sprinted there he won't leave the kitchen he will not leave the

kitchen two i get my stuff picked up for dry healing. And healing. Dry healing. I don't go to the doctor. I get dry healed. I get myself healed. I get picked up for healing. It's an ancient wisdom. And then every single day of my life, I get a massage.

Like, literally just every single day. Every single day. Shit. That's a huge leap. I somehow build my life around that. All right. Three things. I get to huge leap. I somehow build my life around that. You kind of are just like, all right, three things. I get to drink water. I'm allowed to do that. I clean my clothes.

I clean my clothes. And a human being comes to my home and gives me a head-to-toe massage every single day. I made the first two small so the last one could be ridiculous. Right. It should balance out, okay? Some people want friends, friends family and well-being you're on dude i want uh like a free packet of chips every month i want to own four different pairs of shoes with with not too much dirt on them and then i want like you know yeah to maybe own four or five companies that are they're on the top 100 is that for me uh yeah yeah i think so but you know ask away um i one of the things for me is i think i this is so silly

but i just want more socks yeah i want more i want more fresh socks i want more fresh t-shirts i every time like i have a weird like in terms of black and white t-shirts which are like useful for outfits you know because they're so basic um i have like two of each that i like and then a bunch of ones that i don't like and i'm like man i really want to replace this whole this whole shindig but i feel so wasteful doing that um but one day i do think i'll like replace my wardrobe or like i don't know i don't know i want to not have any t-shirts i dislike you know what i mean or like yes what i want to do is walk into my closet and be like i like all of these shirts and I'm not saving one for a date or something. You know what I mean?

Yes. That's what, like, literally, I have been in this cycle of wearing the same shit for, like, dates and for, and I feel like a cartoon character. I'm like, why do I have, like, a date shirt? You know what I mean? I need to diversify this wardrobe portfolio.

Why am I being careful to not overwear this jacket? I like, I should just have five jackets. I like, yeah, that is a privilege, but I want that. I want that.

That, that is a goal to have. It's to have a bunch of nice fridge water because there's so many things now that I open up my, it's like opening up the fridge and not saying any food you want to eat. I open up the drawer and I'm like, dude, all this and then i'm like why do i own it i bought it and then the other thing is like workout clothes yeah i feel like i just work out in clothes that are loose enough and also i don't like to wear for like normal fashion and that's even a thing where i'm like doing this Goldilocks

thing of like well is this a good shirt for working out you know is this one just right I'm like can I just I should just have some workout clothes I recently bought um on Amazon there's uh Amazon basic look, I gave money to Jeffy B, alright? I didn't- like, I'm confessing to a sin, okay, father? I was watching an original, I was ordering my groceries in pantry mode. Yeah, so, so, yeah, I was full Amazon'd out, I told Alexa to like, tell me what the weather was. Give me a massage.

Give me a massage. I told Alexa, my masseuse also to come in and give me a massage. The, uh, I bought five pairs of Amazon basics workout pants. Like, like that's a good idea. And it's, they're cheap. It's like, they're like $8 or whatever whatever but having more than a couple or having ones that were consistent versus like i have these i i have a pair of basketball shorts that i have had for 15 years like and i still wear them but then i have another pair that i've had for that long and they're they've always been too big you know what i mean but like

but like i put i run out and then they're like the last thing in the drawer and i'm like well i gotta wear these and then i feel like i'm wearing like a weighted weighted pants because they're so fucking big that they just keep trying to fall like gravity keep trying to pull them off so yeah i, celebrate yourself. You're allowed to have nice things. Buy a surplus of socks. I myself am a... At one point, I just did the Great Purge.

I killed every single sock. Every single non-viable sock. And I replaced it with a cheap set of about 40 pairs. That is insane. I am so jealous. It's very easy to do when you get booted out of a country where all your clothes and things are. about 40 pairs. That is insane. I am so jealous. It's very easy to do when you get booted out of a country where your clothes and things are. You have to move.

I see. So the ones that I had left, when I packed up and put all that stuff in the storage unit. Mr. Bush. Hello, Mr. Bush. Hello, sir. You can kick me out. I got rid of most of my socks and underwear when I left. First thing I do, land, go to Uniqlo, set myself up for the year or whatever.

You know, I think I keep doing the first step of a refresh where I buy a couple of different things from different brands and I try to go, ooh, what do I like? And then I'll like, I'll figure out something I like and then I wear that. I have so many, this is a confession, I have so many socks with holes in them. I have so many socks with holes in them i have so many

underwear with holes in them jarvis just throw them away just just throw them away why do you still have them like the other day and i did throw this away the other day i sat down i realized my boxers had a hole in the ass they were assless boxers how did that even happen how did that even happen i don't know like old wild west underwear yeah like a flap in the back yeah like a button to flap where like no i i like you're panning for gold like in they'll get holes in the weirdest places like on the side of the leg and And I'm like, what happened? And it's like, I, I walked by something that snagged it or something. And then I was like, this is fine.

But then the, over the year, like the, they get bigger and bigger. And then I eventually have to throw it out. But this is weird. This is a weird thing to admit on the podcast. The assless boxers that I had when I got home. So imagine boxers with a big hole in the butt. I can't imagine anything else, mate. I'll tell you.

It's locked in there pretty hard right now. I literally grabbed. I goat-sued myself. I grabbed the hole, and I just ripped the boxers off by the hole in the butt. That's awesome. Because I was like, you know, people will rip off their white t-shirts or whatever and reveal the Superman logo. Yeah, you've seen the Avengers, right? When the Hulk rips off his underwear.

By the butt. He gets a massive erection and blasts off his underwear with his powers. Yeah, no. That was just such a weird day. Those are gone now, of course, obviously. Yeah, because I flew into the distance from the force of it. I do think that I should be replacing things more often, but I don't want to be wasteful. You know what I mean?

So there's so many things that I do want to don't. Underwear. I don't know if I want to donate underwear. That seems insane. But there's. Well, I mean do want to don't underwear. I don't know if I want to donate underwear. That seems insane. But, but, but there's, well,

I mean, you're a household name. Signed. Hey, if you do that, that's fine. Not, not for me,

not for me, but I do have friends who do that. So it's like, you know, it's the way to go. Fans, people. Yeah.

They make up shit, but also that's like, I wore, I mean, it could be older stuff, but it's like you know it's the way to go fans people yeah they make up shit but also that's like i wore i mean it could be older stuff but it's like i bought some stuff i wore it i did some stuff and you think it's a more conscious effort yeah yeah it's a more conscious it's not like my soiled trousers yeah yeah my basketball shorts from 15 years ago okay so these basketball shorts look brand new and they i truly acquired them when i was like 15 you know what i mean um they're probably pretty drippy too right if it's a they look nice they're like very short short ones too the only thing is they don't have pockets and

that's maybe if they had pockets then they'd be my favorite pair actually still to this day but uh i don't know how often you're supposed to replace your underwear because i actually do think i want to just like toss it all out and replace it is this an overshare i don't know i i my underwear is clean it's fine but i do want to replace it well it can't get dirty there's no ass yeah exactly it's a thong that is what it's essentially chaps yeah it is it's ass those boxers you really ought to try it i uh i completely understand i think it's very very valuable i to be honest with you i don't know if i would have made the change if not out of necessity you know what i mean yeah yeah because

it was either pack a big suitcase full of these like ripped socks or it was chuck i'm buying something more comfortable i have a new ish set of socks right now i think they're just from like h&m uh because i was depressed i didn't want to wash my socks i got a new pair these are so comfortable like they just feel nice they're just like really silky i've washed them like three times and they're still super silky and comfortable i've got i think four pairs of them. And they are... It would cost me, like, I don't know, $15 to $20 to replace my entire sock drawer with these ones that I like. Yeah.

And get rid of... The other ones are also just black. They're exactly the same visually. Right. And I don't like wearing them. They're, like, just not nearly as comfortable. And yet I put them in there every single time. And now I'm feeling through my sock drawer and going like do i need extra am i feeling low

today do i need like extra comfort like i always feel a little wobbly today kind of tired and i was like i've earned this i've earned like a very light amount of comfort on my little piggies yeah by the way talking about our feet somebody's gonna fucking love this episode yeah don't bother with the video version you're not getting anything extra i can't believe that i will put on socks that have like a hole in the toe or something like that and and just go about my day being annoyed i will like not enjoy the experience just sprinkling pebbles in your shoes before you put them on. Yeah, it's like, why am I okay with living like this? This is like a problem.

Getting ready, brushing your teeth, and then putting sand in your shirt. Yeah. It's so weird. And it is just like, if I could press a button and replace all of my basic t-shirts with fresh ones that I like. And replace all my socks with fresh ones that I like and replace my socks with fresh ones that I like and replace all my uh boxers with fresh ones that I like I would do that in a heartbeat yeah why haven't I done that um executive function plus guilt waiting for the button I'm waiting for the button to arrive on the damn button yeah if i can find the button it's gonna happen i feel you well i mean i'm gonna have to do a uh a little bit of a of a run through when i'm back over i fly in four days to java we're gonna hang we're gonna master mario

kart uh and i i need to go through i need to empty my goddamn storage box because it's cost me thousands of dollars over the course of a couple of years. And there's nothing that I care about other than like a teddy bear and a photo. Yeah. I really, really, really. I remember like me and Nathan Stans went over there and like pulled out some like bear necessities, so to speak. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I couldn't name 90% of the stuff that's in there because if I'd had more time after finding out about my visa, I would have gotten... Most of the stuff was packed up in my apartment, because I was planning on giving most of it away anyway. Because I had all this bullshit from my old apartment that just didn't apply anymore, furniture I couldn't use, books I'd read, you know, stuff that really is doing you no benefits, especially in that previous apartment because it wasn't massive. And I... It was already boxed. There wasn't time to unbox it. I found out about the visa and then six days later I had to leave the country, you know? So I ended up just

popping it in there. When I do the Forever Purge, I do the Purge 5, whatever, we should just do it together you can go through your stuff we can uh get one of those like in like a batman movie where a group of thugs will be like huddled by a by a barrel that's like on fire oh yeah are we talking about don't i know it if you were like in metal gear solid yeah i feel like we have barrel on fire. You're like hitting it.

And then we just burn all of our assless chaps. I'm sure I've got some assless chaps in one of those boxes somewhere. Who knows? Who knows? Here's a question. Any underwear that's in those boxes. Okay. Let's say I bought them the week before I put them in the storage unit,

wore them twice, washed them both times, and they've just been sitting clean in that storage unit. Those are now technically almost three years old. Am I culpable? It's like a time capsule. Culpable in what way? Like for crimes? Am I culpable for wearing the same pair of underwear for four years or whatever if I keep them now for a little while? Oh, no, you're not.

Cause they're like basically new. They've been frozen in amber. It's like Captain America. They're in a temperature controlled. Actually, I don't think it's temperature controlled, but they're in a storage unit. I tell you what, based on the service they've given me it is barely probably there's probably a wall missing i remember sweating more than i have in my entire life going into that storage unit and trying like me and stan because we went there looking for your like computer or something like that to ship to

you and i remember like i was like climbing over things i was like doing like push-ups and pull-ups and shit like trying to climb like a jungle gym trying to get to like yeah black site it felt like uh it felt like when i left i would have to avoid the eyeline of security guard to not initiate a conflict you know a bunch of people putting their finger to their ear and talking quietly to someone. Yeah, yeah. We should say, in whenever the next episode of Sad Boys is, unless we decide to get another one in when we have time, will probably be the first in-person episode of Sad Boys in... Five years? Four? Oh, wow, yeah, in a long time. Something like that? In a long time. In five years?

Oh, wow. Yeah, in a long time. Something like that. In a long time. Long. In a long time. Maybe we'll do a big old pen pal spectacular on that one. We can print them out and hold them like a scroll. Oh.

Okey-doke. We end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry. Boom. Boom. Indeed. Boom.

White. Oh, white. Boom. R.I.P. Liz. Gucci girl. Gucci girl. How you doing? How you moving, girl?

Moving, girl. How she delicate. That future girl. Future girl. Yeah, we on now. Take my money. Go away. All you wanted wanting girl too rich for me