Sad Boyz - We're Kinda Cringe...

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

This week the boyz self reflect on old versions of themselves, their cringey moments, youtube being broken, survivor, and pen pals makes a comeback. Listen To Us! Spotify ▸ https://sadboyzpod.com/spotify Apple Podcasts ▸ https://sadboyzpod.com/itunes Follow Us https://instagram.com/sadboyz https://twitter.com/sadboyz Follow Jordan https://twitter.com/jordanadika https://instagram.com/jordanadika Follow Jarvis https://twitter.com/jarvis https://instagram.com/jarvis Outro music @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank

uh i'll be performing the role of guy who's just finding out that the queen's dead guy local town idiot local idiot boy i'm sorry what the tower queen welcome to sad boys a podcast about feelings and other things also i'm jarvis i'm jordan and that genuinely took me by surprise yeah i just figured i would get into it that's kind of my my style of yeah my style of gorilla documentary podcasting yeah you do one of those npr openings like uh it always opens with like you know like native sound from the environment they're in like walking in an airport or something yeah i'm here i'm here in uh in nash, and I'm here to talk to a very special man.

Like, knock, knock, knock, knock. Hi, Jordan. Boarding for flight 352. You just hear it in the background. And, like, knocking on a door, and it's always, like, some... I'll just open the door and be like, hey there! I'd love to talk about my interest in yachts. And then it's 40 minutes of talking about yachts.

Jordan is just interested in yachts, but over the past two weeks, he's become the focus of national attention. Hi. I'm NPR consultant, NPR guy. It's my real name, I don't know. Weird, right?

As surprised as you. What's the guy who says, my name is Orchidork Smorkelson. Nope, real right? My parents were big into Tolkien. It's in the Silmarillion. He's a very specific character. He's in the Silmarillion. Welcome to Talkin' Tolkien. A podcast about Tolkien and other things also. What's that? I'm canceled. I'm one of those guys. Oh, no.

Oh, no. They're black. If you host one of these shows. Get them out. We'll let those black people into our fantasy show. Get the hell out of here. Don't tell me they're a mermaid next. I am an orc and I'll take no

black people in my fantasy universe. I could be as long as they're in heavy makeup and playing a tree. Yeah. I am a wizard and I've got magical powers. But don't worry.

I'm white. White is the clouds don't worry. I'm white. White is the clouds in the sky. I'm the normal one. I'm default. I'm default white man with beard. It's so funny to like try and play the game. And I'm not trying to like take anything away from Tolkien as an artist, as a writer, as a fandom, any any of that it is just unavoidable

when you when you take i can already see the comment i can already see the feedback like well actually in the deep lore i think you'll find that he did this really based thing no i don't disagree at all it but there is no escaping the fact that the fuck the man made the only human adversary adversary that is not green and and and well black the orcs are so black uh a vaguely uh mediterranean middle eastern uh elephant riding saracen type he's just like well the only ones that are evil but also a guy are the brown ones, obviously. Because an elf can be annoying and smug, but they can't be evil because they're normal looking. Right, right, right. You can identify with them.

I don't know enough about Lord of the Rings to have this conversation. No, and I will actually, I will acquiesce, the deep lore I'm not aware of, but you can, I'll actually skip the Tolkien critique and I'll move on to the franchise critique. I'll say like, this is an issue that should have been addressed by Peter Jackson. This is not like a thing. Right. We should not be having the argument about the race of the characters now. That should have been a controversy 20 years ago so jordan before the pod we we always do a little pre-pod show that is just um it's a secret exclusive podcast episode between you and i

called a conversation it's way better yeah it's called a private conversation amongst friends patreon and it's patreon only but we it's we're the only ones who get to Patreon. And it's a live stream that only we are allowed to be a part of. Sorry, pal. Sorry, buster. It's essentially Lost Media. It's like, fellas, is it Lost Media to have a conversation? That isn't recorded? Lost Media A, hanging out with your boys.

Lost Media B, the episode of Jimmy Neut goes to he fights a child soldier or whatever um but we were talking about how sorry we were talking about how we've recorded more of the podcast remotely now than we have um in person yeah ever i get not even just since the pandemic or something but yeah true true ever yeah and speaking of 2017 podcasting i was recently looking for an old screenshot on my phone and i didn't find what i was looking for but i did find this ancient 2017 twitter um screenshot of my of my twitter and jordan i want you to describe this uh wait what which part am i looking at my comprehension is poor also oh no i was just i i was just uh it's just like oh wow yeah I have a cringy little bio. I have like 800 followers. I like this. This is cute.

It's interesting that your profile picture is the same. Cause you've also got at Jarvis now like that. You are making a conscious effort at branding and like, it's interesting seeing. Yeah. I think sometimes it's easy to take creators in their careers as like an absolute. Right.

Especially you that are an industry plant. Right. That yeah it's like at san francisco as well oh this is so funny okay um i'll set this to austin as well they can put it on screen yeah just for the real all the real ones and i'm not going to describe it for the audio listeners actually. You feel foolish now, do you, on your podcatcher? We have Jarvis Johnson. Yeah, dude. This is like... You might as well have a dad of three Christian. Yeah, yeah.

Positive influence. There's periods between these, obviously. Positive influence. Rookie YouTuber. Engineer at Patreon. Sad boy at Sad Boys Pod. I really wish you'd include it. Maybe you've just you've just scrubbed it out you've erased it but afterwards just like one of those uh the silly one you know dad of three devoted to christ a little wacky yeah game of thrones enthusiast yeah don't don't ask me about the sovereign don't even talk to me until i've had my talking yeah don't even

talk to me until i've had my talking what is um what do you think's changed personally about you in like what is this 2017 you said yeah like emotional development or at least how you present yourself because i was talking to a friend of mine recently like very brief dm message that i don't think i we'd had any communication since like 2018 yeah and i was already aware of how much of myself gladly that i'd like shedded so much of what i performed as jordan especially i think like performative um cynicism a little bit you know especially even younger than that like like, college and stuff. Just, like, disliking stuff as a substitute for personality, right? Yeah.

Being like, oh, that movie? They're actually all bad. Every film, it's actually not that good. Yeah, it's true. Do you have anything like that? You're also the biggest film buff. Like, there's never been a good film. I love all of them, secretly, privately. And you can you can write like you can play bingo on what the film students quote obscure

movie is despite being you know seen by millions the reason you know about it being that it was taught in a class like yeah have you ever heard of uh kurosawa oh the most famous japanese director according to beer naked ladies uh Kurosawa makes mad films. He makes mad films. Can you believe it? That is maybe one of the most common, like, alt-rap scene bars now. Well, I was going to say that movie critic, Bob or whatever. Bob Chapman?

Yeah. Who you turn me on to. I don't even know what you're going to fucking say. Well, that's been that's what you're gonna fucking say well that's like kurosawa i make mad that's in his twitter bio yeah but it's funny because we were we were talking about what the beer naked lady song one week um and i'm pretty sure that it's from that song wait is it It's been from that song. Let me just double check. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's from Bare Naked Ladies One Week, which we talked about. Is that the one referencing Chinese chicken?

Yeah, exactly. In the same breath as saying Chickadee China, the Chinese chicken, and Sailor Moon has got the boom anime babes that make me think the wrong thing. They also say, like K kurosawa i make mad films the only good thing andrew tate has ever put into the world is that uh that series of tweets where he's like if you're into girls if you're into anime girls then that is cringy and then he follows it up with just like uh okay apparently because his base is you know freaking out or whatever and he's like i'm'm kidding. I was fucking around.

Show me. Show me them triple Gs. Yeah. Actually, they actually anime titties are based. They're actually very based. What color are your anime boobies? Send it through. I've got boobies in my bugatti i uh i've got a realized way i've got a body pillow in my bugatti boy you pillow is a boy i think the reason i struggle so much with andrew getting an

andrew tate voice out i realized recently it's like everything all of his little affectations are exactly the parts of my voice that i've tried very consciously to not change because he's the he's the reverse of me right he's he's uh 75 percent american oh 25 percent british i'm 25 percent american yeah i catch myself especially with terminology but i've always i'm so conscious of like um like he he skips his tea sometimes and that is like that region yeah he'll go i'll go give me a bottle of water a bottle of water yeah a bottle of water that's not even consistent which is like it that what happens, where I'm from is what people do. But I've always just been kind of fuzzy with it because of like the very, the accents are so like iterative. Right.

You know, when I was younger, I'd say iterative or something like that. Iterative, yeah. But it just switches. As soon as I went to high school, it changed again. As soon as I went to college, it changed again. It's just how it goes. Just tiny little changes. And then when I to the u.s it became all about just like comprehension i just don't want people to always ask what i say i became clearer with my

tease yeah seeing him do the exact opposite is equally as valid there's like nothing wrong with what he's doing but my oh wait you hear that everybody there's nothing wrong with what he's doing but my oh wait you hear that everybody there's nothing wrong with what he's doing yeah with his accent as well and on a completely separate note his accent's cool that'd be such a funny thing for us to invest in the andrew tate manosphere stuff to do to be everything we've been for 10 years and then just at this point to completely turn around to pull it pull a sneaker to sneaker go sneaker mode go sneaker mode um sneaker the newest in the uh this is your guy guy you know yeah yeah like oh this is your chooser character right this like ben shapiro jordan peterson matt walsh especially matt walsh is so like are you serious like this is your

protagonist if you made a movie about the manosphere you'd make it about like the iceberg letters of people yeah are you sure i mean at the very least like sneaker's charismatic and like andrew tate's charismatic but like i was watching a matt walsh clip where he was just like i don't know saying horrible transphobic things and um i um, I was like, man, this guy is so boring. He's really boring. He's not even compelling as with his hate speech. Yeah, exactly. And he's, he's, he's also, he's one of those, uh, like theory guys, right? He's like the, um, right wing equivalent of a dude that on Twitter for the first seven years of their time posting would always just like post uh you know like a veiled sexual assault

joke could be like epic bad boy and then in 2019 uh started typing in all lowercase and talking about like marxism which is right makes like the brand the brand switch right uh and then like and he's the equivalent on the other side which is just like generally missing and not being popular until you really emphasize what your base wants to hear which is just like well actually girls chicks boobie and uh boy peepers uh chicken china the chinese chicken yeah boys carousel mcmahon yeah and everybody's like oh okay also shout outs to the the uh bad boys talking about marxism in lowercase that's me but also at least i've been a little bit more consistent over the years you know what i mean yeah with genuine interest right um how did we get here oh uh you were saying you liked andrew tate and that stuff he was saying oh right yeah

his accent his his his bottle of his bowl of water water but uh but how did we get to that oh because we were doing andrew tate accent about oh yeah something we should get uh i know i mean i know several listeners dedicated enough to do this so to point out i'm saying this is a joke don't waste your time we should create like um you ever seen those graphs that are like like an infographic of inception and it's like this dream starts here and it's going this way right and this is what events affect what or like 10 yeah someone tries to diagram yeah an episode of sad boys and the like adhd ass conversation the multi the multiverse of like what if we never started the andrew tate bit what would we be talking about now yeah in an alternate universe we stand on topic not um

every single one of them we're talking about andrew tate we just never don't do it i oh we were talking about traits that like social performances that you kind of like oh andrew andrew traits yeah so you asked me you asked me i know you british people like rhyming um the uh the you asked me a question so there's two things and i'll whenever we talk about andrew date i feel like i start speaking in its cadence because i said you asked me a question yeah yeah you know what i mean so before i answered that original question after we've already gone on this complete um tangent that photo that i sent you that screenshot i have to tell the people that and i don't know how i'm planning to announce this like in a tweet but i do eventually want to point it out so if you'll zoom in to my face you'll notice that there's a gap in my teeth

as it is 2017 and also and also in my photo, there's not a gap in my teeth. Wait. Wait. What the fuck? Wait a minute. Oh my god, wait, what was it? Zelda Israel? Yeah, El Israel, yeah.

El Israel. So, at some point, someone in my subreddit... This is fucked! This is crazy so at some point so at like some point years and years ago so like around the time I got around the time I got braces, someone photoshopped the gap closed on my subreddit. And I just changed my profile photo to it and didn't address it for four years.

That's actually nuts. And so at some point I want to like point out, and I just think it's so funny. Wow. So that's something. Listeners, he's lied to me for years. He has implicitly deceived me, his good friend, Jordan the Deeker, famous, beloved YouTuber, Nobel Prize winner for being funny. Big award winner for best funniness this is crazy so as far as how my persona has changed when i look back at this time what is different to me

the main thing is how cringy i was but like also just like i think i was just like overly earnest and i don't know why um but i don't like it and and there's nothing like i think i am a genuine and earnest person but there's something about that sort of persona and it's also present in my early videos i just do not like that's what makes it really hard for me to watch those videos do you when do you think that kicked in not uh creator wise I mean like personally um like was that present in high school I think it I think it is like a creator thing it's an external thing because I I think I've always kind of been the way I am interpersonally. I mean, you could, you could let me know, but like, do you, do you see, like, what do you see as differences between me in 2017, you know, bright eyed bushy tailed content creator and now?

Well, I think that, you know, there's a, we know i i genuinely consider you a brother and i know you i like to think i know you well which means i can say i don't think uh you will ever be satisfied with yourself i think that's true yeah but there is a they said that about hamilton as well that's true yeah i was in the room at the time and look how he turned out yeah what's he up to now yeah alive and well i presume i do think there's like a uh some of that disquiet in you is gone now a lot of it which is largely just because you did go full-time creator and you are doing you know like there's no question mark there um i don't think either of us will ever be satisfied with our output because

that's just not really in our bones it's the reason we worked at it in the first place yeah but there is a uh i tell your comfort as a performer is like very i i i i would say that you have and you're saying this was not fully the case at the time, a brand and a like persona that you are more comfortable and proud of now. Yeah. I think I agree on the earnestness thing that I, oddly enough, I don't know if this is your thing as well.

I feel like I shifted, I over corrected for, for that where I was again, I'm the cynic. I'm the, I don't like stuff in in college and then moved to san francisco and more chiefly like immediately into patreon where that kind of tone and kindness was emphasized in like the culture in person and online and i think i

almost over corrected where i went like oh that's the kind of behavior that's now approved and rewarded man it makes me feel a lot better i feel a lot less shitty but i'm really leaning into it and it's really yeah my yeah and you kind of just have to level out yeah it's interesting i yeah leveling out i think is how i how i feel how i feel what's the biggest difference you see in yourself uh less as a creator just more personally since then um i just think i'm more cheated yeah um but i think that comes with like being older but like i'm also still optimistic like i've always been an optimist like i'm like a pessimist microscopically and optimist macroscopically you know um but i think just more

in some ways more confident and in other ways more reserved or like taking fewer risks because even though and this is something that I do admire about who I was you know five years ago is that I at the very least was like putting myself out there and I think that now that I do have a bit of a brand there's some fear in trying new things or trying to find like i've been thinking about like i've wanted to do stuff on tiktok and for a while and i've wanted to like get back to sketch stuff but i haven't figured out a way to do it that doesn't make me like cringe and and the part of the reason is because all of my experience in doing that stuff was kind of in a character version of myself that makes me cringe now. So I feel like I'm channeling that older version because it's like, that's what's in the tool belt.

And so I, what I really need to do is just experiment with stuff. But I also. Which is harder with a platform. Yeah, which is hard also which is harder with a platform that yeah which is hard which is hard with the platform and also i just don't know if i can like that experiment experimenting with stuff is also extends to things like maybe i do a video more deadpan you know what i mean or more like where i don't laugh at everything i say and i genuinely do laugh as like a reflex and and that is something that i don't dislike about myself but i also want to feel in control where i'm like i want to choose to be one way or the other way way. And so I think if there's any lesson to take from the past, it's to continue looking at things through the eyes of a beginner, sort of with an open, seeing things as just full of opportunity

and with a completely open mind. Because the last thing i want to do is kind of pigeonhole myself by virtue of just like leaning into my comfort areas sure yeah yeah it's a funny thought to think about i think it's really really appealing when you're a kid and i think this is like the source of fedora guys where there's something because you know like comfort at least what you assume comfort comes from is experience right like i'm i'm happy driving on the road because i had all my lessons you know right i'm i'm i like what i eat because i've cooked lots and i mean you know the comfort comes from experience and comes from i guess that that's the distinction between intellect and wisdom. I think the fedora guy or the

presenting as like a gentleman, a lot of the times, and I guess other ways of expressing it. Michaela. I think largely comes from wanting to present experience. And I think there's a lot of ways to do that. I just think that's like specifically where,

because for a long time, I'm like, why like independent of culture, independent of like, even before online was like super duper ubiquitous. Why did every guy I know, including myself, get tempted to start being the fedora guy?

I'm going to wear a tie to school. Like what, where, how is it happening? What is going on? And it's because it where how is it happening what is going on and it's because it's like it's a performance of experience and it lets you skip the painful part of experience and the boring part of experience which is just waiting for years and years and years to like actually have it um which it's literally dressing for the job you want

i want to yeah or same goes for being a cynic it's like i'm dressing for the job i want of a jaded experienced guy in his 30s right yeah i want to be that or i want to be i'm i'm gonna try smoking because i want to be a guy that smokes not because i like it now right right and that's that that is always cringy to look back on because if i see somebody doing that now it's also cringy because it's insincere or it's at least like yeah you can you can see the strings and once you're able to see the strings like brother it's not helping you it's not helping me that's why it's hard to look at inceldom and stuff like that where i might not have presented it the same way but i understand the instinct that that behavior is coming from and so it makes me cringe because it makes me look back on myself and think wow right brain really just doesn't work at all

till like 27 yeah you saw the fork in the road and you took you took the left you know but you could see the alt right path or whatever um i was gonna say you should also i do also want to give space for experimentation because it is hard to know what you like without trying things out like for example i started you know accessorizing more the past couple of months. And I kind of felt like a goofy cosplayer, you know, for like a while. And I think part of that is just experimenting with things that you like, you know, or excuse me, experimenting with things. There is a period of, there's an awkward middle stage, I think, where it's like, am I just doing this performatively or am I doing this because I genuinely like it? Sometimes you have

to try to know. And so I do want to like give space for that, especially as I'm thinking about, you know, you got tattoos, I've started accessorizing, I'm thinking about tattoos and things like that, where I'm like, do I just want to be the guy with tattoos? Or do I want to like, am I going to genuinely like feel like I'm expressing myself, enjoying myself? Or is it just an aesthetic? And also, I think it's okay and valid for it just to be an aesthetic and just to like it, you know, it's like, Adam Levine has like California writtenia written on his chest and it's like i don't know if that he gave that much thought i'd say he remembers how to spell it he should have it backwards so you can see in the mirror yeah uh we'll use this he needs to know how to spell it so he can send it in a text like man you're hotter than california

you're out of the fuck i i didn't need to see the booty of california hell yeah goodness i will say i will say though um he obviously was in the wrong because he has a wife and kids uh it checks themselves but i will say that i've sent a a cringy i have sent and will probably continue to send cringy sexed type things you know it's a very hard thing to phrase because it's also like like if say you're in person you're making out with someone then you just stop for a second go yep that's oh that's what i like to see you know just like or there's no good way to do it even if you're commenting on a friend's photo or something you can be like fucking go off king hell yes yeah Even if you're commenting on a friend's photo or something, you can be like, fucking go off, King. Hell yes.

Yeah. Whereas if somebody sent you like a sexy pic and you go like, that's great. You're doing a really good job with the lighting. Dude, I've done that before where I didn't know somebody was flirting with me. And they sent me like a nice picture of them, but it wasn't like explicitly. Like I learned later that it was an intent to flirt. It was with intent to flirt, but I wasn't, I didn't know what the boundaries were. So I didn't want to comment on, I didn't want to comment on the action.

I didn't want to make a move. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I was just like, that's a great photo. Five stars. Which I stand by, which I stand by stand by you know because it's like sending back a photo of you like this yeah i could have very easily misread the situation and then made that person uncomfortable right so i i usually err on the side better to go too light than too heavy yeah yeah exactly so i wanted i wanted to do something that i could like not like i i'm happy to cringe

because it's like in in that way than to cringe going the like other way you know what i mean but when when like two consenting parties are like it's sexting time or like which is what which is what you do it's like there's a whole yeah i turn my cat backwards yeah yeah it's time to sext there's a magical girl, like, transformation season. Yeah, me spinning around, but it just takes off my shirt. Yeah, you have a... It's like you get a bottle of lotion. Closing the curtains in a montage.

Yeah. Welcome to Sad Boys Nights. Yeah, it's a montage. You're like, this isn't actually from my own personal experience but i don't want to give details of my own personal experience because that's more vulnerable than i want to be but i'm imagining because like people make i don't so for example i'll i'll be i'll be completely honest i do not have a cum sock but that is the thing that people have so i was imagining like a montage of somebody going under their bed like looking for their like digging yeah like shoebox out the way yeah um

but yeah so when when two consenting parties are like it's sexting time you definitely send cringy stuff right like because there's no even if you were to take what people say in bed like during you know the act uh you know that shit out of context is is cringy it's a whole like energy matching exercise where you're just like very you know vulnerable with each other but it's like cool because you're sharing that experience so you can kind of go you can really just like say weird not weird weird stuff you know but there is that thing of like like ooh baby is not a thing that in most contexts is going to be considered hot but given the right talk about having to experiment with something like throw it out and then just like let it sit for a second but that's the thing too don't worry that that's the thing too like uh you know it's the trial and

error so you know if they're if they're i guess there are younger people listening to this sometimes you try stuff out and it doesn't go and you and you have to keep keep keep it moving it's okay. You know? And you can acknowledge it. That's, I mean, the best, like, groupings, partnerships, or whatever. And I'm using that phrase because I'm even applying to, like, people that are ace, for example. Where it is... Because sex is the funniest thing in the world. Yeah, exactly.

And I've had it, and I know where it goes, and I know how to do it, and I'm not confused. But don't even worry about it. So I wasn't concerned, but you know where it goes, and I know how to do it, and I'm not confused. But don't even worry about it. So I wasn't concerned, but you seem to be overcompensating. You're kind of dressing for the job you want, so to speak. No, I'm saying that there's no reason to be concerned. Because I'm not that, is what I'm saying. And it's weird that you keep bringing it up, actually.

Oh, right, yeah. But there's, like, for people maybe that are... Because there's two versions of what you said about going too far or saying too far back, right? Which is always err on the side of caution and don't, yeah, as you say, don't assume that the barista is flirting with you because they said your name in a nice way. Yeah. They didn't say your name wrong at the Starbucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they must be interested. Writing your number on your coffee and giving it back full uh but yeah there's like that's one side of it and then on the side of i'm sure for a lot of

people the question is well then how do i move it forward it's just saying it out loud it's just saying it's completely okay to say like hey is this okay is yeah am i misreading this thing am i doing so and so and good partnerships good sex if that's a component of that always come from communication and understanding and like and clarity right yeah one of the things that can be really funny about that is when you have a like a good communicative relationship you get to call yourself and the other person out on silly stuff. Like not, not to make them insecure,

but you know, your sense of, uh, sense of humor. And it is funny. It like somebody sends you a text and you do, you copy paste and Adam Levine response. You both know what that is.

And you just think that's funny. Right. You say, or you send back like homina homina. Yeah, right. Exactly. That can be fun and silly silly but if you don't

communicate and understand the uh the tenor of what is fun and silly for you somebody sends you a picture and you just say something like sarcastic then you might just make that person feel bad right i um yeah i'm throwing out experimenting is hard right like experiment it's hard it's vulnerable i well because yeah i've been i've been what's up babe oh no literally like waiting and like no no but like i've been uh you know experiencing what is clinically known as sexy times i think and so like i had it which i've done before so many times actually. Can't even keep track of how many sexy times I've had. And like during the sexy times, I think I threw out a babe. You know, and then just in the heat of the moment.

And then they were like, oh, don't like that. And I was like, okay. You knew that actually. Did I say babe? I meant madam. Dude, can I tell you something really fucking this is like I'm gonna switch to the least sexy anecdotal time but I was that's what I

said was the sexiest anecdotal cool is what I was yeah I was playing playing a card for you said this wasn't sexy? Yeah, well, slow down now. I need to turn on the AC. Can we Austin cut this part out? Because we both come back in just tank tops. Gee whiz.

I don't... I was playing with my friend, who I won't name, because at one point he did steal money from my family. But we were playing Modern Warfare 2, the original Modern Warfare 2, which as many people know has an especially sexy mode, sexy in a fun, cool gamer way. I can say that. I'm a gamer.

I'm allowed to use the word. Right. The word gamer or the word sexy? Both, actually. There's synonymous. Only gamer. Yeah. In that case.

Yeah, sexy. I'm allowed to use that word because I am sick. Yeah, I'm cool, actually. And I have done it. It's all good. And I know what kissing is. There is me and my friend, whose name I won't say. It was Steve.

We were playing Spec Ops, which is like a series of scored mission types. PVE, so co-op against bots. Yeah. And we were stealthing. That sucks. We were stealthing through a mission. I guess before any major sexual experience on my part, so it is now only that i'm realizing how in a way tight this is this is so much more embarrassing than anything sexual i was in front of i was like moving

forward and being stealthy and i said i went uh yeah um I'm on my sixth. He tried to use like cool military slang. And like at 11 o'clock and stuff like that. And he just roasted. I didn't get away with it for a millisecond. That's funny. And it was right. It was the like, you know, the appropriate kind of bullying.

And I remember my response to that, to try and get out of it, and I don't even know what the plan was, I said, oh no, I said, on my sex. Like, oh, okay. It was like a weird pun, so it's not embarrassing? Yeah. Yeah. That was rough. That stayed with me. I don't even remember, I don't remember a single teacher's name. That's not even that bad, but that's one of those things where like, you know, if somebody roasts you for it, then you're like, oh, guess I can't get close to that. It's because I remember, I so vividly remember knowing it was a gamble. Oh yeah. I remember going like, this is, I need snake eyes.

Isn't that the worst? That easy and you perish it. Isn't that the worst, when you just just like throw something out there? Like I will sometimes, like I feel that way about the n-word sometimes because I, you know, am comfortable using the n-word but sometimes when I'm with black people I- What's my rank? I get imposter syndrome. And then- Pulling up one of those paint palettes and like counting along

being like am i number five number six when am i allowed to yeah like i've definitely like given i think i've like abandoned ship halfway of like some somebody somebody told me a situation and i was like nigga what or something like that i was like that's okay right that's all right to say i am i like check the you know or even like i'll be uh like i've been with black friends who have like used like light skin in a derogatory but, like, playful way, where you're like, ooh, I don't know how I feel about that. No, I mean, it's a negotiation. I remember vaguely that there was, like, there's an episode we did with Erica, like, in the

late 80s or whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's true. The Reagan administration. I feel like that would make more sense to be the era where i had an afro but that wasn't yeah we're kind of aging backwards like benjamin budd man people think they are just crushing it when they dm me you've got like a 70s porn mustache it's like you know i dude that chose to do this that's no i will overwhelmingly positive feedback but every now and then if i get you know get into it with uh iggy azalea stan accounts or whatever right or they just get into it with me

and i'm like the uh more like jordan a dick yeah i'm like that uh that cat sat at the table yeah i just don't like that i feel like a lot of those are like sorry it's my first time making a joke online or like sorry it's my first time making a pun it's making that pun and then replying to it underneath saying like i'll just leave this here erm i'm sorry yeah i'll be here all night you know the kind of just like any insurance against somebody making fun of you um like it's like those twitter replies where they'll say um well in that case and then it'll be spoilers and then you click to reveal the spoiler and it's like a well inside of a briefcase or something you know and it's like dude you fucking every time um those are just specific it's such a specific like uh i see so many of them on like a ksi or

a mr beast post yeah yeah like it's always just like well enough tractions here that i'm hitting them with this image and it's 40 of them in a row and hey man they surprise it's like a big if true and it's a giant if true hollywood sign or something yeah it's really cool and then obviously you've got to be the cool bad boy counterculture kind of guy to reply like uh uh spoilers and then it opens it's like this isn't funny you're stupid for posting this oh yeah you post you post spoilers but it's actually just an image of the spoilers thing yeah you try and it's like you baited them yeah god you just got scammer got scammed. That's something I would tweet.

What is like, oh, actually, this is a good question. Since we're basking in some cringe, a twinge of cringe, if you will, so yeah, I can do it too. Nice. What is your cringey sense of humor, like a portion of your sense of humor, a type of joke you would make that looking back on it now was just like pretty pretty shameful not even 2017 2010 whatever i mean i wouldn't even call it shameful but just the amount that i used to quote family guy yeah that's right or like i mean back when i was what is this like middle school um i don't even know i actually think that when i listen back to the random podcast the podcast that russell and i had when i was 14 i'm like i'm like these jokes are i mean like there's a lot of swings and misses

but like in the shape of the sense of humor is not bad you know what i mean like i'm like it's not miles away yeah there's like a part where i like do a snoop dog impersonation um about him like getting high and not performing at a concert and i'm like honestly this still hits this is like this would play in 2022 yeah there's like um it's also not it the nuances of things we don't like about it are never at the time or in the future when we look back on it and wince a little bit because i'm just you know i'm sure there's episodes of sad boys where i'd even spot pieces that from early episodes where i don't identify with it anymore and it's something that i've like shared yeah uh oh wait i'm sure i can look back on that and still yeah to answer your question though it's like uh to be honest the stuff that

was like um casual transphobia and stuff that you know as a young person you just aren't like i just wasn't aware of the context or the history behind the like lady gaga has a penis type jokes and and um the attack helicopter stuff was like when that started i was so young that i didn't understand what the joke was you know i i thought that i thought that the phrase attack helicopter was funny that's all i got out of that you know what i mean i mean it's a funny vehicle. What can I say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that kind of stuff, I can't blame myself too much for being a product of the culture, but it doesn't make it right. You know what I mean? All I know is that neither of us at any point have one, like as a general rule, enjoy hurting

people, right? That's not the default. All I know is it's usually well-intentioned and so yeah as you learn more about or just like taking risks with jokes that you know like when i was in middle school i'm not gonna name any names but like put their name steve but but like jewish friends would make jokes about hitler or something like that or there or there would be like or hol would make jokes about Hitler or something like that. Or there, or there would be like,

or Holocaust jokes were a thing that like middle schoolers would make. I remember vividly. And I had to like learn when I was like 12 or 13 or whatever, that I'm not allowed to make those jokes. You know what I mean? Sure. And, or the other types of things, uh, would be, would be the types of jokes that

were sort of for a white audience, like making sort of racial jokes at my own expense for a white audience. So like playing, playing that up. Yeah. Oh fuck. Wait, no, we found it. That's like, that is the comedy component of my teen years that i regret the most upwards to like i don't know like 20 i mean not much after that i did

it was definitely never my part of my personality after i moved i thought you said 2020 i was like jordan that was yesterday yeah i mean it cracked me up yeah and you were like uh fried chicken and uh grape soda that's ding which is even like less it was even more uh insincere and artificial because i'm i didn't grow up in america so even the like the the parody at play just didn't apply at all but the you know i would do an african american accent oh yeah like as a joke and the joke of course was just that i only knew white people yeah i couldn't find anyone else where i'm from and the joke was hey i'm pointing out the exclusion a before you can and b it's easy it's like an easy dub it's like an easy win it would be right amongst people i wasn't familiar with yeah you're like one of the

good ones or whatever you don't even know me but you're saying like well like the joke would be they say uh they just say hi and i'm like what because i'm black you've said you had to say hi to me it's just like a it's a shortcut to being different being challenging part of it was insecurity part of it was like i'm doing this before anybody else can but the other part was i want to be the funny guy and it works oh yeah i mean guy yeah you you're pressing buttons and you're like what button makes people laugh and you're like okay i'll keep pressing this one yeah square peg square hole whatever yeah yeah as long as i'm winning and i think that one thing that's changed over the years is like i've matured as a human is just like who's laughing and why you know and i think that that's like what i've cared about a lot more right and what's the source of people

that aren't laughing like if i get a negative comment and i'm just at one point in my life i do feel kind of thankful that i've only ever established any kind of platform as somebody in their late 20s. Yeah. Because there are types of feedback and areas of my comedy or personality that I've been self-conscious about that I've either grown out of or realized I shouldn't be self-conscious about. And I have the experiences to tell me that i just absolutely axiomatically shouldn't be and that there's no point in dwelling on it right so if i'm in a relatively good mood and somebody points something out about the way that i look or the the type of joke that i'm enjoying or my performance in general it's now very very easy to go no i'm I'm sick. Yeah. No, I'm the best. Are you crazy? Like, what are you going on about?

Yeah, yeah. You know, I've had enough positive, healthy relationships to if somebody says you're ugly, I just go like, well, I mean, I'm not ugly enough. Or I'm being rude or mean or like, or also to understand that anybody that's calling somebody else ugly is doing it from such a sinister place that it's really not somebody you should value right opinion of or yeah it's just like there's there's defaults that you can

you can hop to right and not that that like if somebody does consider themselves unattractive that well then the feedback is actually valid it's just you you get to know a certain type of person and when i hear that kind of rhetoric from somebody online and i've met people like that in real life i can see them behind the keyboard and it just robs them of like any kind of damage. Yeah. I agree with, I agree with that. Yeah. It's, it's,

I'm also very grateful to kind of mostly have established an online presence after being a person who's like kind of lived in the real world. Yeah. And that's not a slight against anyone who hasn't had my experience, but just the way my brain works, I would have personally been broken if I, i had been a you know um like uh there's a part of me that's like oh you know i could have very easily a few things could have been different and i could have started uploading um on youtube at like 14 like like consistently and i had like probably the skill set you know

to like make something happen uh maybe maybe this is being a little bit too like big-headed but i as i think since i've made it as a youtuber now i think that like there's some you know i what you're saying i could have uploaded videos yeah i'm saying that's probably true and i think that like as a young kid also like you know it's like i was a funny kid and and i think i probably could have like found some audience but i think that would have like fundamentally broken me and yeah well you being an industry plan helps obviously that's true um that is true and on that note let's switch topics um so so i don't know like i i literally have done no research into this i've just seen two tweets um have you heard about this dream face reveal that's happening yeah i just saw carl jacobs and anthony padilla

like facetiming with Dream. Is that a thing? Is he about to reveal his face? Is that what's about to happen? I thought that's what the point of the mask is. He's masking off. Fuck, dude. What? He's going mask off.

No, I mean, I've never been DMed a single tweet more because the mask song is the most consistent meme on my stream. Oh, yeah, yeah. it's like uh that's what the mask is is i think my follow alert so it's just it's become like a really they hit me up the wolf pack and dream are pretty essential parts of my brand so he's really a wooka really fucking me up by removing that mask that mask is pretty essential to my bag um i'm i'm everybody just keeps i almost feel like like i'm sure that dream is handsome but everybody keeps talking about how handsome he is and i can't help but

think it's because of that one time that there was a fake leak and people body shamed a random person just a kid just like a kid yeah yeah um that feels like people need to get ahead of the ugly allegations or whatever. Yeah. Like, hey, hey everybody, I wasn't hiding my face because I wasn't hot, alright? Yeah, that's a bummer. And the same thing that they did to Corpse, actually. I was gonna say, yeah.

Which is an odd... I mean, I know face reveal has been a thing for a long time, but it does feel like an especially... If you're in the gaming community in particular, as opposed to like, you know, there are plenty of movie reviewers, video essayists, people that I guess creators identify with a lot less or bank a lot less on their personality and things. Right. Like, Eyepatch wolf didn't do anything in person on camera for like three years four years and he is a beautiful man he's handsome and shredded yeah that's how why how and why this is actually not allowed what the

hell that is jacked up i was i was pissed i was. I remember it was the dead of the summer in LA. I was hot and sweaty and felt disgusting. And then he comes on my TV. I was watching a video of his where I didn't know that he had already done an UpBase reveal. And I think he did a video about fake psychics or something like that. And I was like, is that him like i was like what i believe that is maybe his first one or it's the martial arts one where he's like in a nice dress oh the martial arts one too yeah yeah oh like a henry or something so this is something

i need to talk about now that we're talking about video essays and people who don't show their face so summoning salt one of one of my favorite creators on YouTube, he makes speedrunning documentaries telling the story of how small speedrunning communities overcome the challenges of a game, break it down into a million pieces, and then sort of compete for top rung of the speedrunning leaderboard. So, Summoning Salt puts out a video about Mega Man 2 speedrunning. It's an hour long. It's the traditional Summoning Salt fair where it is a great video about something that, you know, if you ask me, do I know anything about Megaaman 2 do i care anything

about megaman 2 i say no but you show me that video thumbnail and i'm like yeah please tell me more i will watch for an hour yeah exactly i would love to learn about donkey kong country yeah please and um so he puts this video out uh it gets a million views because he's killing it. And then about four days in, the video gets age restricted. A speed running documentary about Mega Man 2 got age restricted, 18 and up. So it kills the video's performance. This is a creator who we know video essayists and people who cannot produce content frequently on the platform and uh to the point where like adsense is like a like some creators have a business model where they can only post a couple of videos a year and i summoning salt is one of them i think when he

he's full time now and he was saying you know it's like i think maybe i'm gonna get like eight videos out this year something like that where that would not be a sustainable full-time income yeah but it's one of them yeah it but it's important and then he also supplements with patreon and stuff but the point of that is age restricting one of the videos is a big deal, especially because this is something that his content is not explicit. The reason that it was allegedly, so he tweeted about this,

then YouTube was like, or he appealed it, but everyone knows that when you appeal on YouTube, they say it's revealed by a real person, but that, you know, that's gotta be something. There's gotta be something up there, because he appealed it and in 45 minutes

they had reviewed the hour-long video. So they were watching it back at double speed or something like that, or they weren't watching it back at all, or they were looking at a transcript, or yeah, yeah, yeah, or they just were flipping a coin, who knows? They manually reviewed and

confirmed that it needed to be age restricted and then he did what all creators do which is complain on twitter because the only way to reasonably get a response out of youtube and we all hate that this is a fact but it is if you even indirect youtube if you say like hey youtube kind of sucks right now team youtube is going to show up in your replies hey thanks for thanks for mentioning us uh is there anything we can do to help because they've got like a a crack team of people in on a sales force somewhere that's all connected to that goddamn twitter account yeah and they uh and they have you know super searches to get every single you know i mean yeah they prioritize brand repair in the public sector like they because that conversation is happening publicly oh people can see it it's like hey we should hang

out sometime and then they never turn up to the coffee. Yeah, exactly. So YouTube shows up and they're like, oh, actually this is confirmed. This video needs to be age restricted. By the way, it's important to mention the video over an hour has 19 curse words in it, which is not many curse words. I'm sure we've probably already said more curse words than that in this episode of Sad Boys,

which probably will be monetized. I even said the N word. So let's find out, you know? I'm about ready to say the, oh that was close oh yeah it almost flew right out of your mouth you can tell you say it in private um so when i play uh pub g yeah so he obviously replies and it's like, this isn't an explicit video. What they think is that there's a clip of somebody stream when they like break a world record where they say the F word six times in like three seconds or something like that or nine times in three seconds. But other than that, there's nothing like explicit about the video. It's just like it almost seems like they have an algorithm that's like detecting the density.

If they're at any point in the video, there's a high density of curse words above a certain threshold that it needs to be age restricted. That's kind of what it feels like. But anyway, he complained and then they were like, no this is for real and then and then he continued to complain and the community's jumping in and going hey this is fucked up and then um youtube is like hey our bad we messed up we've lifted the age restriction then a few days go by the video doesn't the issue with the age restriction also is it kills its virality it kills its growth and suggested so not to mention robs it of the revenue it would have been making exactly there's no there's no takesies backsies on that kind of thing so few days go by then he gets another email saying it's been age restricted again

and then they said no for real this time we've reviewed it again what is this a third time they're like actually no it needs to be age restricted this megaman 2 gameplay is just too dirty it's too meanwhile you know this is the platform that let info wars thrive for years on it that continues to let like actually harmful rhetoric and actually high profanity laden content like run rampant on the platform and i'm not saying that profanity laden content is a problem inherently but it is so clear to anyone with a brain that this is not offending content. That's not offensive content. There shouldn't be any issue.

I haven't been demonetized or age. I think I've been age restricted one time in the five years I've been making YouTube videos. And it was a, and I, I appealed it and I think it went through. No, I think the only time we've been age restricted was on our black white uh episode one reaction uh and our uh shane video

on the savage channel oh yeah the shane video okay so which fucking sting is because that was a popular video well these are things that at the very least there's an argument for because there's extremely sensitive content being um discussed and sensitive details um it is not just someone saying the f word a few times in a video game um which also is uh it's of people who don't know the workflow especially on a video this big that is so heavily planned ahead that video has gone up in multiple like versions of that video have been uploaded yes youtube studio unlisted or private yes with youtube having full access to it to review and i'm not saying that youtube should be or even could manually review every single upload even from significant creators like immediately yeah they have uh their

scraping algorithm which checks for the generic stuff like swears within the first 30 seconds yes copyrighted content the like like youtube generates at the in the most simplest of senses for every upload youtube is doing um speech to text on that getting the text captions of it or what it understands, running processes on that and seeing like, is there dangerous content in this? And. I mean, it's the guess that it just got flagged by viewers.

What's the. No, no, it's like, it keeps being confirmed by manual review, quote unquote. And so. This is a real problem on YouTube youtube especially because like you said these are the

types of videos that creators make a draft of and they upload to see if it gets flagged and then there's no why would you risk this because why would you everything you can right and then youtube also doesn't give us any tools for amending the situation if it was like hey this is age restricted because of these few seconds in this part 99 of creators would say oh trim out the part obviously this is not like the point the this is not the point of the content is to be like salacious or like to be um vulgar it's just something that was so innocuous that they didn't even consider the creator didn't even consider that it would be a problem or automatically mute like twitch fods are or just automatically which you can appeal

to if it's wrong but at least uh temporarily you aren't like getting some in what universe would you go actually no revenue no views for you over six seconds where you could just mute that by default and then no one hears the bad stuff it's video it's over video game footage what like literally i would much rather if youtube was like muting a couple of seconds then age restricting the video if you if you said hey we're gonna keep your video in recommendations, but like this 30 second clip has been muted, I'd be like, oh fuck,

I gotta resolve that stat, but at least people are still seeing the video. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like that, I think it's just, it exposes a huge problem with YouTube system. And I understand how difficult the problem is, but that does not mean

that we shouldn't hold these corporations accountable. YouTube is one of the, is the largest website on the planet. It is the, if not the second behind the Google search engine. And it is a trillion dollar like operation it's like one of the most valuable companies to exist and uh with the community support infrastructure of like sadboyspod.com yeah yeah yeah we're as active about resolving problems which is not and it's like, I understand, like, firsthand,

these problems at scale are very, very difficult to solve. The operational issues of support, fielding, that stuff, all very hard. But because of the profit motive, these companies are going to do everything they can to get away with less. They want to get away with as little as they can. You know what I mean? Because everything costs money. Which they are.

Yeah. Their only incentive to change would be losing the thing they care about most. And that is not creator approval because they're a monopoly. And that's why making a public stink on Twitter gets much more reaction than privately emailing your partner manager or privately emailing YouTube support because there's now a PR risk. And that's the only leverage that creators have against, against the platform because we are so beholden to it.

And it is such a monopoly. And as Twitch gets into all of its dramas, it's becoming more and more an existential threat that like YouTube is just going to continue swallowing up markets and be the only game in town. And while I am grateful to YouTube and am grateful for what the platform has done for me, that doesn't mean that I can like stand idly by and kind of okay every decision it makes because that's not you know that's not a good situation we also know from career experience that these are like especially at this kind of

scale very siloed teams there are people that like have as much influence over the like structural choices of youtube as we do yeah we there are there are teams working their asses off that include features that we really like that essentially don't even work at the same youtube right i mean like it's just also large company problems i mean i think that the other issue is that it's very hard for a large company on mass to understand the like kind of beating heart of a creator and the actual experiences that your average creator goes through. And so we do have to be vocal. And I think that I, while companies like YouTube do make an effort to reach out to creators and, you know, do research with them and embed themselves with the creators and understand their workflows,

I think that there's always more work that can be done there because until we don't see these issues of very obviously unproblematic content being flagged and very problematic content running off scot-free, you know, like, or even just focusing on unproblematic content getting flagged like it like as long as that continues to happen we have to be the squeaky wheel because that's how we will get the grease so and and more often than not it's actually really interesting to me how much youtube has banked on creators as their brand like it the idea that somebody that's logged into the i don't know like uh jimmy fallon youtube account is getting that same little slideshow at the bottom right of youtube studios saying like best ways to optimize your thumbnails creators what's going on

time for the wrap-up from the week you know we we tweaked how analytics works in a way that like the media manager for jb fallon could give one shit about yeah yeah it's so funny that that like functions the exact same way when profit motive wise feature set wise uh community support wise or like uh internal support wise that is the priority by far youtube would let 50 of the commentary community drown before they would step on a fallon submission even once yeah because it that covers the same amount of viewership and is less complicated i don't think i i do see sometimes i mean feel free to share if you think this is wrong i can't help but laugh when people, sad laugh, single-tier laugh,

when people are saying like, all right, time to switch to Vimeo or like time to shift platforms. Oh yeah. We are so far beyond that being an option. People don't understand the stranglehold that YouTube has and don't understand. People think that YouTube can quote unquote fail in the traditional sense and i believe that it is too big to fail um like

and it has it's it's like facebook failing it's like no one uses facebook that you know and yet it still is producing billions of dollars in revenue what is going on? Most YouTube users don't know about commentary. They don't even know the genre. Like, it's... And I'm talking peak. Like, most YouTube users have never heard of you, Curtis, Danny, Drew, Cody, Noel, ever. Because it just is not important. They're not logged in.

They don't have... They've never left a comment or even logged into the website. And they see... And they watch 10 000 hours a month yeah yeah like it is the number one like entertainment platform right but they're just not watching that they're getting linked from facebook right they also use all the time yeah and so it's just like the i think that the hyper online community is often like i don't understand how these companies can stay and

keep their doors open if everyone hates them. And it's like, because you exist in a bubble of the 0.00001% of people who have this dialogue online. But the average person in the real world hasn't given two thoughts about this ever in their lives. And they're just consumed because that's what these platforms – the only reason I care about this stuff is because I worked in the space. I work in the space. I've worked in the space from a professional context. But there's no reason that the average person that you interact with on a day-to-day basis needs to give a shit about like how the youtube platform is treating creators because it's it's you know in some ways it could be like workplace drama you know it's like oh the you know the union for actors is you know has really good covid covid safety or

something that's like so like and no one else does and we need more we need more unions and these it's like everybody's in their own little like bubble you know yeah like how many people that watch movies cared about the sack after drama yeah no one at all yeah no they never even heard about it right what the hell would they but we could like we we have friends that i'm sure if we never spoke to anybody outside of those friend groups we would think it's like vietnam the most important issue yeah and that's i mean that's just how it goes and so you know uh so we're doing our part here to to whip up uh awareness of of a what we see as a youtube shortcoming in support of uh summoning salt who i think is an awesome creator and doesn't deserve this treatment from the platform and like yeah case in point what's the one thing

that summoning cell can't afford to do is stop uploading to youtube yeah that's the one the one thing that's worse than getting demonetized is getting demonetized and not uploading because then they aren't even generating their patreon revenue and that's not even getting the chance to make ad revenue and that's such an unrealistic ask of people where it's like, let's do an Instagram blackout. Like, let's nobody post on Instagram today. And let's really show them the power that we have. And it's like, I, this is just not. Man, that really silenced 0.4% of the user base.

Yeah, yeah. It's just like, yeah, they're like, is it quiet around here? Or is it just me? Oh, it's not quiet at all? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, it just doesn't- Yeah, it's somebody in like, Tokyo.

Like the densest metropolitan place on the entire planet. And then it's like, everybody with size seven shoes doesn't go outside for a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, whoa. It's a real ghost town, right? Yeah, they're like, oh, you just- there's- hmm, I see sixes, I see eights. No one's looking. No one's looking they're like oh you just there's i see sixes i see eight no one's looking no one's looking no one noticed you were gone it's just they just assume it's flu season or something okay so um anyway this has been destroyed yeah this is dude epic epic

style epic pond oh i i forgot there's another thing i need to say this is sad boys this is me remembering things I wanted to share um oh I was gonna go to Taylor Lorenz uh who just tweeted who's responsible for the deep state I think Taylor Lorenz yeah I heard about her starting that fellow millennial white women what are you doing

413 months old likes iced coffee oh wait let me um let me do a little obs real quick so that i can uh i'm recording too if we don't care about quality oh we don't care about quality okay perfect um this is absurd likes iced coffee sneak peek Thursdays, listening to... We don't talk about brewing on these Dislikes Mondays. I can't. The Dislikes Monday part really pushes this close to parody. Yeah.

Like, that's shocking. Wait, what? This looks like it's just in a coffin. Yeah, there's multiple of these. Yeah, I'm confused. Is this an obituary? Love to end in Mondays? Yeah, it's dead. Favorite this an obituary? Love to end in Mondays. Yeah, it's dead.

Favorite adult beverage. Black cherry selfies. Can be found in the garden in her free time. Six feet under, actually, in the garden. What happened to the favorite adult beverage? Why is that in Times New Roman? Oh, wait, no, I just realized. Yeah, wait, that's even wilder that that last one didn't even have one of these, like, I don't know what to call them, like a chapel board. Yeah, this is just photoshopped on. 69 inches, 2,400 ounces. Likes espresso shopping, sushi, reality TV, Botox. Okay.

Oh, yeah. I'm just praying oh this one the perspective the the perspective of this one is truly incredible because it does look like this is a normal size card and she's a very tiny baby that's a huge bed yeah what the hell where are they finding these they shouldn't be giving that baby margaritas, that seems inappropriate to me. This is unreal. I'm a prude. Love sweets and margaritas.

Still eating every two to three hours. Dude, I get it. But, yeah, it's... Like a baby! Yeah. You do have to feed a baby every two to three hours. This is unreal. Okay, she's not even- she's just lying down.

Well, you know, sometimes babies do that too. I guess, sometimes babies aren't spotted, they gotta stretch out. Yeah. Dairy makes me gassy. Develop their molecules. Hashtag relatable. Dude, millennials are not okay, let me just say that. It's remarkable. I really, really, really like what we've become.

What are we? We're on the light end of millennial? Millennials up through like mid-40s? Yeah, yeah. What are we? We're on the light end of millennial? Millennial's up through like mid-40s? Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely millennial, but I'm on the earlier end of it. Wait. Is that on your screen?

What the fuck? I got into Survivor recently. Hell yeah. I'm like 20 fucking years late have you seen the season with ken no i i just saw it oh okay wait we will let's talk about this a little bit so i got into survivor recently and i'm 20 years late and uh i just watched the most the only season that was on Netflix, which is from four years ago, I think. And the thing that threw me is the theme of it, because there's a theme every season, is David versus Goliath.

I've seen this season, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nate and Rochelle recently introduced me as well so i'm pretty oh okay i gotta tell rochelle actually because uh she doesn't know and um so the davids are like you know it's like these people are like they they barely pulled themselves out of the dirt of you know the worst living possible to make it onto survivor um picture of them and it just says yuck yeah yeah yeah yeah and it's and then and then it's like the goliaths it's like the crim de la crim of society they've always had it easy and have never experienced hardship

but when they're like showing the boat i'm like is that fucking mike white yeah i was like yo what the fuck is ned schneebly doing on the survivor season such a trip dude that blew my fucking mind and so as soon as i saw ned as soon as i saw mike white i was like i have to watch the season so i just uh um i just binged it i just finished it and i don't want to say anything because it's spoilers but um good show good show new season just started airing and i'm watching it didn't so like there's there's you know famously this famously an artificiality to uh american reality tv which i don't think takes anything away from it i just you know most people are like excuse me that was set up by the producers that doesn't make any sense it's like right enjoy the kayfabe i don't think i appreciated how legitimately they are surviving

there yes i was under the impression that survivor and the fact that they're on an island and all of that stuff was just like a visual framing device for playing games and like like it was like nickelodeon gack but instead of right right instead of a studio they're on a beach yeah yeah yeah uh but it is so i also did not appreciate that by being such a long-running institution it is to like everybody on that show like they are like devout catholics and that show is church it's great like there's so many things that i am appreciating about it one i the fact that there's like decades of metagame like sort of knowledge uh and they don't know it that everyone knows and then like because i you know this is season 37 that i was watching yeah and they're talking

with such fluency about the oh when the merge happens and when this and that and i'm like what are they fucking talking about i've never seen a season of survivor before what do they mean i don't i don't get it and then yeah everybody kind of knows what's up and at the end of the fucking in the reunion they they're, here's how much weight everybody lost. And I was like, what? They were like, yeah. They were like, this person lost. They were there for 39 days.

And people are lost like 30 pounds. Because all they're eating is like a little bit of rice that they can like scrounge together. Yeah. And it'll be like. It was eaten by the chicken they lost. It's like Davey found a squid in the water. And everybody's like yeah Squid

And they're just like chopping up the squid And they're like eating a little dab And they're like it's calamari And I'm like no it's fucking not You guys didn't cook this at all These berries are poisonous but won't kill you till after the show Yeah I found berries with minimal diarrhea

And everyone's like um for an obstacle course it was it is truly it is truly wild uh and a new season just started so i'm gonna i'm gonna be watching that but there is a season my friend you'll have to ask nate and rochelle because they're the ones that showed it to me well yeah starring foundational competitive smash melee player ken ken and it is never brought up it is literally just like he's pretty good too he's surprisingly agile i i heard he i heard he was good yeah i gotta watch that i gotta watch that season i don't know where it is like netflix has two seasons that's season 16 and season 37 and i don't know why i don't know what sort of contract nonsense happened where they're like you get two seasons of this 41 season show why am i forgetting

the host name again jeff probst jeff probst what i love speaking of it being an institution is he's established like the clout and control of tom cruise where like tom cruise is allowed to you know strap his face to a bear and fire it out of a cannon for the next person possible because they can't stop him. He's like, we watched a pretty early season, like season eight or nine. They just showed me a couple episodes.

And the most outlandish thing he's doing is standing in the water. His feet are in the water and he's just like, the number one thing you've got to know about water is that it's wet. Whatever. And then it cuts to him in season you know 30 onwards and he's hanging upside down out of a plane and just being like he's holding onto the side of a helicopter for real and like our survivors don't know what's coming next it's time for the twist and i'm like this is your meal

ticket and he's going to die in the ocean. So first of all, Jeff Probst is everything Chris Harrison from the bachelor wishes he was. And also I was just thinking this man must love his job. He is so into it. Like in what he does is like, I don't even see it behind the scenes, but like even the play by play that he'll give of a challenge as it's going, he's like, the Kava team, this is a huge blow to their team,

and they're dead last. Can they possibly get immunity tonight? We don't know. Over here on the green team, Kelly. Kelly, she's struggling. She's struggling. Is this going to? Oh, my God.

The lead has been squandered by Kelly and the green team. He's doing the show more than any viewer. And they love it. He's just transcending. Yeah. I'm just thinking the lifestyle that you would have to live. I got jaded in the tech industry after five years. He's been at it for 20 years, hanging from helicopters and shit.

I'm like, I wouldn't enjoy that. I wouldn't enjoy his job but i'm like he's like one of those guys that goes to prison and then can't live on the outside he just keeps getting rebooked for six months yeah it's unreal yeah i i'm just yeah i'm kind of in awe of the whole institution coming into it so fucking late that was the yeah i mean the big surprising part is how i mean you know big surprise but you know how long kitchen nightmares has been going for like 15 years yeah i don't know anybody that has the lexicon of kitchen nightmares is to be like oh my well also the kitchen nightmares just has like a three-act structure you know it has the all is lost moment and then gordon comes outside and he does this weird uh when his lines

are scripted you can always tell because he walks out the door in the middle of the dinner service and it's just like instead of being kind of stoic and strong and charismatic he's doing all these fucking affectations and he's like moving he's clapping his hand he's like i can't believe that steven was late to the dinner service Another crazy night at Tagliatello's. Tagliatello's? At Spaghetti Steve's. Tagliatello's is a great fake name for a time. Yeah, it's like an Indian restaurant.

Oh my God. Welcome to Tagliatello's. I can recommend the chicken cuomo. I recommend the fettuccine carbonara or you get it with the tagliatelle. Hey, come back.

Don't leave. Don't leave. Alright, let's jump into pen pals because I needed to give a little quick survivor aside, but yes. You want to read this one? I'd love to.

So this one comes from Anya on Instagram. Traditionally, you know, send it to sadboyspod at gmail.com for pen pals, but Anya was like, my email isn't working and I decided to make an exception. She says, so I love sad boys and I've been listening for about two to three years. So my best friend in me had always. So my best friend in me had been friends for 10 years. Always same school, same general friends, etc. Over the past year, we had become same school, same general friends, etc.

Over the past year, we had become less active, but we remained our connection. But at the start of September, she started to not talk to me. And I thought it was for reasons not involving me. But when I asked her to talk, she told me she didn't like our friendship and that she felt stressed. We had never gotten into a real fight and had always communicated. She told me she wanted to stop being best friends. Aw. And also friends in general. Aw. Yeah.

And she needed space from me. We had the same friends and I thought I had done something, but she told them the same. Oh. So I'd been trying to deal with it, but I don't know how to give her space while not dropping her we were so close and she's a stranger now and i don't know how to deal with it in a good way and move forward since i put all my eggs in one basket and now she's gone oh that's so sad

i'm so sorry i mean thank you for reaching out on yeah i you know that is a really hard situation to be in. Yeah, sorry you had to experience that. But in terms of what do you do, I do think it's a simple answer. It is depressingly simple, yeah. It is depressingly simple. You just don't reach out. I feel like if she needs space, then she's going to – the onus is a little bit on her. The ball is in her court because she is the only one who's going to know when she's had what she, what she needs. I feel like it's okay to check in from time to time in a noncommittal way, like a, Hey,

hope you're doing well. But I wouldn't even start there. I would start with just like no communication because it seems like that's what she wants. And this doesn't sound like a personal thing. This sounds like very much on your friend's behalf because they're distancing themselves from the whole friend group. So, you know, I think it's in our instincts to want to solve the problem or fix something that's wrong. But sometimes you just got to take someone at their word. And I feel like this might be one of those situations. And it's in our instinct to investigate the things we can investigate.

And right now that's only you, right? So you're going to have to, in your head, go over and over what you have done wrong or like search what you've done wrong because you can't know what the source of them doing it is. And that's dangerous because it really doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. And if you're asking them if you did anything wrong and they say no, again, you just got to take them at your word.

You're not doing anything wrong. It's also indicative of that by them distancing themselves from other people around you. It seems like they just need a clean break for whatever reason. And sometimes that happens and it can happen in graceful ways, like you naturally drift apart and it can happen in very abrupt ways where someone just goes, I actually need to leave the friend group, which is a little theatrical but is also you know sometimes it's what people need yeah and it's and it's theatrical and i'm there are certainly exceptions i don't want to blanket anything but it i would say generally is a pretty inappropriate

way to do it and pretty inconsiderate so like not really behavior i'd want to reward with being the carer with then following up with like hey still thinking about you still trying to support it yeah yeah you did kind of a hurtful thing you know um but it's it should be normalized it's okay to not be friends with someone it's okay to want to distance yourself and and everyone we for whatever we have to do to rationalize this human beings need to be able to ask for something and receive it. Yeah.

Like not, you know, not something that compromises on- And not be policed of the way that they do so. I mean, you know, if, you know, it's not necessarily a one-to-one because there are bigger connotations to this, but we can apply some of the rules

of a romantic relationship where if it is a kindness to communicate to somebody as to why you don't want to consider continue a relationship but there are situations where that's not easy to articulate there are situations where you may not feel safe which i don't think is this but you may not feel safe to articulate why or what the problem is and a relationship of any kind is a mutual exchange and if it's not then it's like it's a a parasite exchange like if somebody does not want you involved with them for a rational irrational whatever reason you need to be able to respect that because it's just it's

just damaging you pursuing is not going to repair something it's not going to repair that because it's just it's just damaging you pursuing is not going to repair something it's not going to repair that damage you going by exactly what they're saying and showing not again not that you owe them anything but if repairing this relationship if that's possible is a priority then you showing them that respect that unconditional okay i will step away then maybe they get the chance to resolve whatever's getting in the way but you know as javis said that it's very clearly not something that unless you and every single one of your friends independently fuck something up at all at the same time yeah yeah probably not i will also say that like if you need support in this

i think it's okay to bring it up with your other friends who are experiencing the same thing, because it could also be hard on them to feel like they're losing a friend. And maybe there's space for that to bring you closer. I don't necessarily think this is the case, but just to ensure, in case we are misreading,

if you meant that she told me that she wanted to stop being best friends and also we had the same friends and I thought I had done something but she told them the same I was just double checking if she wasn't saying

like she also told the friend group that she didn't want to be friends with I see i see but no that's that doesn't seem to be the case uh and also uh the last thing i'll call that is putting all my eggs in one basket i don't i don't think you do i would apply the relationship rhetoric again and say that yeah the value of a relationship is not in its like length or uh if don't get married, then dating was pointless. You know, that kind of rhetoric. It's a good learning experience. It was valuable for what it is.

Maybe it will come back. But even if it doesn't, you can make friends. You can develop friendships. 10 years is very valuable. It didn't need to be 11 to matter. Yeah. And I think also, and i don't think that this is necessarily the situation but because the eggs in the basket analogy was used i will say that

if you are viewing like your friendships through that lens that can put a lot of pressure on that friend any any given friend if you're like you're my best friend you're my sort of um what's the word uh partner confidant confidant um yeah yeah you're my support system yes no yeah that's right yeah if you're like you're my support system that is an unfair i'm not saying that this is what you're doing but this is more general advice if other people find themselves in this situation it can be a really unfair position to put a person in, especially because it's not like consensual usually when that, when that happens. And, you know, it's hard enough to keep, like, take care of ourselves than you may be putting on interpersonal relationships.

I would say for, with regard to romantic or otherwise, actually. Yeah, I've had the issues in past romantic relationships where that was the problem for me. In that I felt like i was responsible and uh especially at the time of those relationships and it is plural it was it was a common thing especially in early dating because i didn't feel like it was appropriate i do want to be able to support someone but being a part of a support network and being relied upon are two different things yes because especially at the time of the relationships i'm referencing i was not well like i was just very my mental health

was fucking atrocious and it would be like having a baby it would be like a human being is responsible for me at my worst i don't want to burden or i don't want to put them at risk by thinking that they can rely on me to that yeah yeah and i think in the case of those relationships i did not do a good job of articulating that that was the problem because it also feels kind of patronizing and i don't know it was like difficult to i just didn't feel yeah saying it right which if this is the source of it is kind of sounds like what this person's doing as well. Because if you don't want to communicate that, and maybe something's happened to them where they're worried about being a negative influence on these people's lives, or they don't want to ask these people for help because they feel like they're irradiated and they don't want to go near their friends for fear of hurting them. Right. they feel like they're irradiated and they don't want to go near their friends for fear of hurting them right this is kind of the poor communication that you'd expect because you don't want to say

what it is because you don't want to have a conversation about it yeah and i just don't want anya to feel like this is what they've like she's done wrong um but oh i don't want any to feel like this is something that she's done wrong because it nothing has been communicated to her so one thing to and this is just something that my therapist has told me so you're hearing it second hand is to not try to read mind reading. Mind reading is like a well-known pitfall that we can find ourselves in when reading social situations. And you can pretend you can be in someone's thoughts and assume what they must be feeling, and you never can. You never can. So if someone doesn't expressly tell you something, then you shouldn't go off the assumption that you know exactly what's going on in their mind, because it will only lead you to

bad places. Especially if it doesn't make sense, you know, initially. If intuitively you don't get it right away, that just means that there's pieces you don't have access to. But even if it does make sense, you don't know for, I mean, obviously in life, you sometimes have to go off of imperfect information. But even if something does make perfect sense you have to recognize that ultimately you don't know what's going on in someone's life you don't know what's going on someone's head and to pretend that you do is doing them a disservice as well it's denying them the agency and the independence of like taking the control of their own like narrative yeah and uh no i mean also emphasis on we're saying this because we don't believe you have done from what you've told us and again we don't want to mind

read right we don't it doesn't seem like you have done anything wrong it seems like uh there's just something happening that you don't have the information to fully comprehend the same thing's happening to other people close to you and you i mean you should value that you still have access to those friends and you have somebody to relate to and communicate with about it yeah you have a you have a network to brainstorm with right all right i think that's a good place to to wrap it i'm done with this i'm done with this and i'm done with this and I'm done with that. We end every episode of Sad Boys with a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Gucci girl. Gucci girl. How you doing? How you moving, girl?

Moving, girl. How she dead looking? That future girl. Future girl. Yeah, we. How you delicate? That future, girl. Future, girl. Yeah, we on now. Take my money, go away. All you wanted. Girl, you too rich for me.