Sad Boyz - Who TF Did She Marry?

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

Reesa Teesa's Cash app: $ReesaMTeesa Check out our 50+ bonus eps on Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/sadboyz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch our LIVE SHOW: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠��⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/sadboyz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/shop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⏯️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Watch us on youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⏯️ ✨follow us✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  📺main channels📺  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jarvis⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jordan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ✨follow jordan✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ✨follow jarvis✨  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  🎶outro music🎶 @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank

Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. This is Mike. You can just... You're in the shot, alright? Huh? Huh? Is the camera... We're rolling? Yeah, there's a camera. Come on. Okay, go ahead. I just went ahead. Do the... Oh, Jacob. Sound speed. Get the mics on.

Sound speed. He did... Jacob, he did the clapping. You can sit down now. And I'm Jordan. Did I even say who I was? Because maybe I could be anyone i'm willie wonka that's it's not the time to be willie wonka okay you know what i did last night on your recommendation i saw madame webb i have never laughed so much in a movie in my entire life. Comedy's legal again, folks.

Movies are... Holly Weird is back. I genuinely could not believe what I was seeing on the screen. We're both, I think, casual enjoyers of crap movies, as anyone can be. But I think everybody has a certain preference with it some people like old b movies made for 100 bucks and they like seeing what a mess they are some people like yeah kind of medium budget or something like the room where the absurdity is in like what's the story i really do love watching sony burn cash and produce it's an embarrassing product it was crazy because um i i wanted to

go to the movie theater and see pretty images and not be challenged in any way that was the mood that i was in and this delivered in so many more ways than just that um yeah this is like going to mcdonald's and finding a diamond ring i it's like going to mcdonald's and being served yeah a dinner and a show and it's the funniest movie you've ever seen and i got a little popcorn i used my amca list not sponsored um we all uh we all uh recited the nicole kidman speech what accent does she have she's australian okay but she's not been there she's holding it in long yeah that it's very subtle now i feel like yeah she was charging it up uh she's kind of got a uh because they are it's like the equivalent you know what i mean like like it just comes out a tat well she's doing it's kind of like a broadcaster voice you know also yeah because

when she came like when she joined hollywood i'm sure it wasn't i'm sure she had to like assimilate a little bit to whatever you know was the norm if you see her um early australian films she has a thick australian accent her hair is crazy curly and red. Like, she has red hair. I'd probably want to go to the movies today. Oh. Pictures are big and they're real. The scenes. What is it?

What's that one? Heartbreak feels nice. Heartbreak feels nice in a place like this. Not too bad when you're in a movie. It all feels real. Movies do because they are here. I'm the first person in Australia to see a movie. It was too big.

You can get your seats in the front or you can get them out back. The movie will find you no matter what. You'll hear it. It's real big and the sounds hurt. Do you love AMC? Me too. Too loud. Too loud.

That way you think it was worth the price oh that okay well yeah one throw that the script of bandwagon is hilarious but one quick it's weird to see a terrible script and terrible technical uh solution was your mix also awful okay my mix i don't think was i didn't notice the mix but I did notice random bouts of ADR. Oh, yeah. That were so funny and important. The villain does not have a, literally does not have any on-set audio. It was like, bang.

It was so unnerving. But the first notice of ADR I got was at the very beginning of the movie. And we're going to spoil the hell out of Adam Webb because I'm sorry. I have to talk about this. It will not hamper your enjoyment at all. Please. It won't. So they're in Peru in like the forest.

Anastasia saw the movie as well. Yeah. They're in the forest jungle. They're in the Amazon. Or not Amazon, but like a jungle. Yeah. They're in the forest jungle spider hunt zone. Right.

Where the spiders are. With some kind of like non-specific militia. There's just like two guys from the militia and that never comes up again. The jungle police. The first thing was, so you don't know why, but Madam Web's mom is pregnant. Mama Web.

Mama Web. Very pregnant. She's like days away from delivery one of two characters in the movie so pregnant it's almost scary and uh and she like uh she has like a kick like the baby kicks and she goes ow but it does not come out of her mouth it was which what happened i don't know i just feel like you didn't have to like why i just don't know what was the original thing she goes yay i'm being kicked also it felt like to me they weren't filming in a real jungle they were filming in like the universal backlot or yeah yeah it

looks like why couldn't they get good sound sorry i'm sorry i'm thinking about the representation of jungles in this movie and uh how there's how um the forest right outside of the bronx or whatever looks identical to the amazon oh yeah yeah dude. She's in the forest and it's almost suggested that she drives a taxi to Peru. But also just is on a biplane like an Indiana Jones style biplane. Somehow.

I don't know where she got that. We're jumping around but there's just so many great moments. Another great moment in the movie is when she's trying to stay anonymous. She doesn't want to get hunted down by the cops because there's a bunch of bullshit. And in order to hide from the evil pursuer, Ezekiel Sims, who was with her mother in the jungle right before she died. The studying spiders. Famous line.

Oh, by the way, can we talk about that though? Not in the movie. It's not fucking in it for some reason uh but anyway yeah there's just a sequence where she's like i need to make sure no one's able to track me in a taxi she stole so she takes off the license plates the end she doesn't put new ones on she takes off the license plate leaves it almost looks like she leaves the license plate right next to the car and by the way it was a taxi that was used for a kidnapping where they're talking about it on the news on the radio they don't know who she is and she she's an emt driver who i guess doesn't have a car has a three million dollar New York apartment.

The movie does take place aggressively in 2003. I guess just because Sony it's not technically the Spider-Man universe. It was going to be the Andrew Garfield universe and then they got dropped there. The Sony Pictures universe of movies, aka the Spam is a mess. It's scum.

But there's really not much of a reason for it to be a 2003. I even heard that, like, the ending song is, like, from the 90s or something, right? Yeah, the music, look, they didn't put much thought into the, like, if the music fit the era well they have but they have that big uh wall that that big beyonce installment oh and uh toxic by britney spears tell me you don't love this song most insane insane scene weird sorry we're jumping around too much but the weird thing about toxic as we all know is that if you drive to it you go slower than if you run you turn up to a cafe which you now know the location of later why did they take her i literally was talking to my friend oh god okay we have to go chronologically because this is i'm jumping around yes but never look to the adr idea can i go back to the fact that we established that the diner was 0.5 miles away from the forest?

They are so specific about this. And it took her so long to drive that 0.5 miles. Yeah, this is the sequence. She needs to go and save her wards. Oh, by the way, if you see the trailer for this movie, when I say the initial trailer, you might also be under the misconception that these are like her friends from work or something. It's her and like Sydney Sweeney and two others. And they're dressed in spider costumes.

They're teaming up Avengers. I assumed seeing the trailer that they're all friends from work. She gets the Madam Web powers. And then she somehow bestows powers on them and they become a team. They're supposed to be Sydney Sweeney, who is eight years younger than dakota wait how wait how old is dakota johnson uh 34 cities no uh 36 sydney sweeney's 28 sydney sweeney's 26 oh she oh okay yeah they're they're like they're closer in age than like sydneyey. I believe because of euphoria that Sydney Sweeney can definitely play a

teenager, but it, they almost worked to make it feel like an adult playing a teenager in this. Like it was a wardrobe. You might as well give her like a big lollipop. So they dress her like a Catholic baby, dude. but yeah,

they, she's like, Google Gaga, upsy uppies. they but no she's supposed to be like a wizened elder who is she's like the she's presented the age that like rachel is in the first season of friends she's like i'm just trying to get my life together who knows what i'm gonna get up to next yeah she's in her early 30s they say yeah she's 30 years old like in the movie because they go 1973 2003 right or 74 she's like she's like barely 30 in the story so the the adr thing i

wanted to bring up is that sorry there's never a silent a dialogue free moment in the film. There's constant talking to the point where she's alone and she talks to a cat. That was wild. Are you referring to the scene where in order to illuminate the situation a little, by the way, the pacing of this movie is very strange. Even thinking about it now,

I can't order any of these moments because half the movie is her not getting what her power is with sequence after sequence of, I think I can see the think i could see the future 40 minutes of the fucking movie they do it they overdo it so much the the fact that when she was at the uh baby shower and she's having the she's already had instances of her flashing forward to the future but still treats it like to everyone else like she she's above it like she's like we just did this not i'm weird and i've been having visions i mean it's you know obviously it's different kind of power so whatever new york's crazy these days

that's in my notes app that's in my list of favorite quotes the editing is crazy there is a moment when she gets onto a train, nothing happens, and a guy goes, New York's getting crazy the whole day. It is, and then he says it four more times.

It's one of the, it truly feels like a fan edit or something. Hey, do you know where my train is going? Wait, do you remember her reply? She says,

I hope not. He says, is this the train to euchre she's going to poughkeepsie and he's like is this a train to what is it whatever you know some bullshit it's like yeah is this a train to oh fuck it's uh uh peru is this the train that goes to peru one of the craziest things that I didn't realize going into watching this is that it is a prequel to a movie that hasn't happened yet. Yes. Yeah. And won't.

And they're like, this is going to be so big. We're going to do a movie after this. Well, Craven the Hunter, of course, coming out for soon. I didn't know that. Another bizarre adaptation of a property no one's interested in. But they set all this stuff up. It's a superhero without really any superheroes. No superheroes.

Like the movie. No powers. Yeah. It is also like the worst. So for a little context before the movie, Madam Web threw a series of extremely convoluted events when her mother was just studying spiders in the jungle with Ezekiel Sims right before she died.

The series of convoluted events, Cassie Web. Cassie Spider-Man. Prior to the Spider-Man existing in this world. Oh my God. Sorry. Yeah, I'll put up the quotes list we're the bad guy what's his fucking name? Ezekiel Sims where he goes

I don't care about who she's with or who they're with I want to know about the girls Cassandra Webb why wouldn't he care? why wouldn't he care about the person who is shuttling these girls around? The reason he can't get them. Anyway, because of this, she has access to almost a Groundhog-style day power set

where she's flashing forward into the future, experiencing something, getting killed, or they're getting killed, or something goes wrong, flashing back. But it's a kind of arbitrary amount of time. it's a couple minutes sometimes it's all to the morning whatever imagine watching groundhog day or you know even better maybe a better comparison imagine just watching spider-man spider-man one toby mcguire and the scene where he shoots webs for the first time he looks at his hand and goes, huh? And then there's like a knock at the door or something, and he goes downstairs,

and 20 additional minutes of the movie go by before he acknowledges anything to do with the webs or anything. And then there's another scene where he leaps over a building. He goes, huh? That's weird. 20 minutes of the movie go by. It is close to an hour it's around the one hour mark of a what hour 30 it's not that long it feels long but yeah it doesn't feel by

the way that any powers happen throughout the entire movie because the only time you see powers happening are like vaguely when she's like actually actually I shielded you because I knew that piece of shrapnel was going to come. That's the thing is it's, it never feels like an interesting, like application of that idea. Like the fact that she can see into the future could basically be completely removed from the story. Her power is dude perfect trick shots.

It's like, I'm going to drive. She fucking, she fucking grand theft autos the ambulance we'll have to get the clip of this drives it off of a second story building and then nowhere near ezekiel like he's 30 feet low he's 30 feet there and then he jumps up into the fucking ambulance because she called her shot she knew she she she conditioned him dude it's like a fighting game he's downloaded yeah i was hooting and hollering when the ambulance came out of the like second or third floor because you all you see is like close-ups of her driving you have no idea where she is

the geography of this whole movie because- And why did she steal the ambulance? Because she had the taxi that she already stole. It is, I, you know, something, I said this to a couple of people, my friend turned over to me at one point, because the whole night we were just doing the same joke of just like, you know, she'd say like, let me get some coffee, let me get a little bit of web.

Just doing that back and forth all night. And then he pointed out, it's like, this should be Madam Car. She's just stealing. There's four different times she steals a car. She's very good at driving. She's really good at driving. In the very first scene of her, she's driving an ambulance. You sent me the poster where it says Madam Web and Mr. madam webb and mr chump oh okay wait i have

a question for jacob jacob you can show this picture where i'm in my car and i'm just crying after watching the movie i'm just sitting in my car before i drive home fucking crying because i can't compose myself dude we uh we if you if you type in madame webb train scene by the way uh there's a four minute scene yeah and i think we'll be able to this will look like a like um you know if like a tiktok summary of a movie comes up and they move around the order of the shots to not get flagged that's what half this movie feels like yeah and not just not in a non-linear time kind of way that that's also incomprehensible okay wait okay can. Can we hear it? Oh, wait, this is the one-minute version. Can we look at the four-minute version?

This was the longest four minutes of my life. In fact, it might be revealed here. Jacob, let me just ask you a question as somebody that has not seen the movie. If you search on YouTube, yeah, that's that one. You want to take a stab at, because I believe it's established in this scene,

what nickname is established by the cast and then carried for about two-thirds of the movie here are your four options uh this this this man has the he has spider-man powers but he can't shoot webs and he's not strong and it's kind of useless and we never name him the entire movie ceiling guy crawl man freaky dude or mr webb uh i guess b crawl man ceiling guy uh for most of the movie they call it honorable mention honorable mention goes to when sydney sweeney says he's some kind of spider person i it is so the restraint they have on some stuff some references or whatever and then the other ones like to the point where i thought we were gonna get a word for word well i was just thinking about how like when you have like power yeah probably have a bunch of responsibility okay so there's the famous uncle ben line with it is uncle

ben right yeah the famous uncle ben line with it is uncle ben right the famous uncle ben line with great power comes great responsibility right played in this movie by adam scott by the way well adam scott's great he's great in it i was constantly surprised by who was in this film yeah i was like he wasn't in the trailer was he yeah uh uh yeah why is mike epps in this movie but it's cool i mean like it's people getting tricked by their agents telling them it's marvel yeah but i don't i i i will never fault the actors these are all extremely talented actors they have just been done it's almost like we i almost feel like they're showing me scenes that i shouldn't see or they're cut in ways that i shouldn't see them cut because they make the acting it's almost like when someone

holds a line and then holds frame to like make sure that you get the whole shot and then in editing you tighten everything up right some some there's um wrap-ups on these where clearly they're waiting for a cut that's the professional thing to do you've done your line you've done presentation and then at the end of every single like rush in every single movie ever there is always a long period where they just have to kind of improvise be like so they've been in like samurai cop where he's just sat there like those kids because it's just not cutting yeah there is a fucking push he always presses down on the patties. He's ruining the hamburger patties.

Oh, you're talking about how he's ruining the patties by pressing them down? There's just a whole- All the fat's coming out of the patty, and that's where the good- That's where the flavor comes from. It might even be on the- These are real dialogue. These are real stuff.

Which goes nowhere, by the way. Which, I know we're leaping around. Leaping around leaping around um we should say uh speaking of adam scott there is a i this was my favorite line in the whole thing okay there is a a reveal of uh emma roberts emma roberts playing mary parker whatever peter parker's mother's name. Yes. And this is all like very casually acknowledged. They say what their name is, blah, blah, blah.

But yeah, Uncle Ben is there. There's even a throwaway line where it says something like, he's really looking, Ben's really looking forward to being an uncle. Yeah. He's going to be a great uncle. They will never say, you know, everything. It's almost like a copyright. i don't want to let me know if this is going to steal your thunder because uh hopefully not during the baby shower yes there is that where you're going there's something she says that is okay let's hear it let's hear it let's

hear it i hurt my back laughing at this because it's also relatively early in the movie when my expectations were low but i did not expect hits like this at the bridal shower for nine months pregnant mary parker after receiving a kick from the baby she is carrying she says she might as well just look into the camera she chuckles and says to her friends he won't stop swinging around in there oh i didn't catch that one he won't stop swinging around in there he won't stop fighting green goblin in there

what's the baby's name? Richard? we're not gonna name him Richard what an insane game oh insane moment number 5000 that happens at this baby shower. They're doing a thing where everybody's written down their favorite relationship with their mother. We're pulling them out.

You know at bridal showers, you talk about motherhood, right? Yeah, of course. That's all you're allowed to do. And you guess the name with no hints. Yeah, and you go, oh, she always used to cut the crust off by sandwiches is that you sarah yeah that was me no that was me okay next one next one this one's blank who the fuck oh looked a blank piece of paper and then to go to johnson does her understandably asleep performance he goes oh that oh, that was me.

That was me? Why didn't you leave a thing about your mom? Or do nothing. Or not put a slip in it. Or if you see a blank slip, don't call it out. And she goes, well, my mom's dead. It is. My mom died in childbirth. It is a really strange, like that's actually an element of her personality that's never really fleshed out is that she's just a weird person she's perfectly socialized she has a job she gets

along with people she's a little like kind of kind of like rye or whatever a little off-putting a little short with people but she's you know fun enough has friends she is like completely incapable of interacting with people half the time when it serves the script and then she's with adam scott just like hey what's the deal with the airplane food you've seen this and then she like goes on the train is like i um the one twain lick it please well yeah then she then she's like well my mom died and then everybody's like oh oh no well maybe you don't maybe that's why you don't call people out when they don't answer the thing. First of all. Maybe I rewrote this in my brain, but I remember someone going, surely you have one good memory. Yes.

No, literally before, before she says the thing about it, they're like leaning into it. They're like, come on, you've got something with your mom. Everyone has a mom. The subtext of it is there's no one in the world without a mom. It's literally like if she was just like uh who's uh like where's what's everybody's mom up to at the moment like i don't know i really miss her like she's she traveling where she was she walking away do you know where she is and then that same person is the one who goes let's change the subject it's like a keen speech at the key

and peel sketch i'm like awkward and he's like no it wasn't till you said that because then she goes on this thing where she goes my mom she died in childbirth and then uh mary mary parker is like oh oh no no no but childbirth is uh it's rare it's rare it doesn't happen that often and then also my mom she was in like the uh she was in the amazon or whatever sims studying she uh she all right before she died. Yeah, she died in childbirth because she got shot. Yeah, dude. What?

Yeah. Okay, well. Okay, there's two big issues with her whole character. Is that her motivation, her dark past, is that her mom died, which she hates her mother for because she was in Peruu and you were asking to die she's like why you didn't care about me but we know why like we don't know the literal reason she was in peru but we know the first scene of the movie she gets shot yeah so we know that her

hatred for her mother doesn't make any sense yeah so we had to spend the whole month oh mother the whole movie with this like obnoxious going like well i lied because my favorite line of movie is actually when she uh reading through her mom's research journal that she collected during her research in the amazon right before she died while with ezekiel's and she like doesn't look at it and be her entire life until it's relevant to the plot. Which point she reads it for the first time. Under her bed. She like flips through it so haphazardly, doesn't spend much time on anything. Yeah, so she just wants to look at the pictures

and it's all pictures of spiders, by the way. Like of course it is. Oh, and also stills from the movie that they pretend are Polaroids, which is hilarious. Yeah, just take a Polaroid. Of Ezekiel Simms behind you. Yeah, hey guys, Polaroid. Of Ezekiel Sims' body. Yeah. Hey, guys, you have cameras. It's a movie.

You can just do another shot and take something from that. It's like the prop department could have... It's like they realized way too late. It's almost like they green-screened the photo onto the pieces of paper. We've got too many spiders. We need paper. Also, why is a researcher love a photo of her and Ezekiel Sims? That's weird. But yeah, anyway,

she is reading through this Indiana Jones style diary, which is mostly drawings of spiders and nonsense scribbles and some math for some reason. Cassie. Cassie, where? Did somebody say whip?

Cassie solemnly says, well, mom, I hope the spiders were worth it. That's that messed me up. I was like like we were grabbing each other in the theater just there were so many things that i can't even explain why they were funny because it was the awkward silence or the awkward moment and again it's not the actors like it feels like a combination of the heavily used adr yeah which you can't do good acting when you're recording ADR because you're by yourself

in a booth. You know what I mean? And they're all for like intimate scenes too. So the spacing sounds wrong. Yeah. Because they're not treating the audio to...

All the ADR audio sounds like it's in the same place. It all sounds like it's in a booth. So whether it's Ezekiel Sims exploding in Times Square or it's her speaking to a cat and being like, I'm awkward. It sounds exactly the same. Ezekiel Sims exploding in Times Square, or it's her speaking to a cat and being like, I'm awkward.

It sounds exactly the same. Ezekiel Sims, by the way, has an accent that I cannot place. Well, so supposedly a lot of his lines are 80-yard, and a lot of the shots just sneakily lead away from him while he does his lines, because supposedly one of the claims is that his voice and his acting, it was like

hard to understand. His accent was too thick. But the voice they gave him is like a Johnny Depp accent. Did they give him a different voice? I don't know. Did someone else do his voice? He's got this bizarre affect. I don't know if he's supposed to be from Peru and that's why he was there. His backstory is completely untouched.

Oh, yeah, because I don't feel like the whole movie, it opens up beginning beginning scene they're in peru researching spiders she's like we're gonna find the spider she's like looking at a web so that you know she's into that kind of thing or whatever and then is that your web yeah it's my damn web yeah and then she got him she comes back to the camp and then she's like i got the spider and then ezekiel sims just fucking rains hellfire on everybody in the camp just shoots one of the random dudes i don't know who that guy was i guess he was one of the oh that's just like yeah this murders a man there's two jungle police for some reason he just shoots a random man and the man dies and then he uh and

then she's like please don't shoot me and he's like give me the spider and then she's like over my dead body and then he's like okay well and also it's like you you're working together she just take it just what's she gonna do call the police and have you arrested lady what like i just know what i'll do is kill her he's like she finally found the spider now's the time for my gun. You could just go, let me see, and then run away. Yeah. Is she going to chase you? Also, can we talk about how, okay, so she's shot, she's dying on the

jungle floor, and an indigenous group of spider people. Yeah. Wait, guys. To be clear, just white spider people. The Justice League of bespoke spider-man oh like frankly with the costuming of like a uh korean knockoff merchandise called like spider time yeah mr spider i think that they were like oh well they wouldn't be able to make like high quality spider-man

costumes so they have to make it with like twigs or whatever. They've got like red branches wrapped around. Yeah. I mean, I think what they would probably just do is not make a Spider-Man costume because it doesn't exist. Is it not insensitive that they randomly like imbue this magical indigenous group with like spider powers? That was kind of weird to me.

There's a lot of Marvel stuff. Like I bet that's from a comic book. Yeah. Because there's a lot of marvel stuff like i i i bet that's from a comic yeah because there's a lot of stuff like that where you're like uh oh he he uh is like indigenous south american yeah yeah and is like has like powers that feel racist i mean that's the that's the thing is like he this is just like a contemporary dude. And when you see him in a different setting, he's just like wearing, you know, jeans. But in that environment, he has to be, he's being, you know, ambiguous. Who knows if he is Peruvian? He looks European.

I assume he's whatever the easiest thing to cast was because they're shooting in Chesapeake. You know, like it's not, they're shooting in like in Staten Island. They're not going to reach out for somebody out of the country but he has a this weird the shaman takes it or the whatever but it is so like the whole movie has this weird a very strange relationship with its own story where it doesn't seem particularly interested in its story and won't spend a lot of time building out the world or explaining why certain characters feel certain ways but it also is definitely not interested in being an action movie and having compelling action scenes so it's all these scenes that feel

like filler scenes till you get to the thing you like it feels like the law scenes between john wick fights except when you get to the john wick fight it's him having a bath yeah and and the interesting thing about that is i wasn't bored no i'm watching filler scene after filler scene and i'm captivated because it's a great comedy i was captivated just because the use of space and timing and in and dialogue was so compellingly strange did you see morbius yeah you wanted to one of the views with eddie right yeah because morbius morbius wasn't bad like this same you know spum universe issue same not tied to spider-man but kind of is but whatever also a story about a guy with a medical issue so he goes to a vague uh different country to get a creature this time a bat that gives him specific powers and maybe he's good maybe he's also uh

the disease that that madam webb has that is is cured by the spiders is just a real disease that people have yeah so okay so at the very end you find out oh her mom actually loved her because she found out her baby was going to be born with a uh chronic a physiological disease yes and and so she was going to peru to find this spider because rumor has it the spider the peptides the peptides the peptides and she they keep saying that her life career is not particularly clear if she was an explorer whatever but uh spider scientist we don't know we don't know photographer because that's what it but luckily when she was so so uh i thought that maybe the most realistic best scene in the movie from a isolated standpoint was the scene between the mother and the doctor

because the doctor is doing doctor things where they're giving her like a horrible prognosis and she's like the best you can offer me is is like like a is is a hug or what i can't remember what she says but basically she's like calling out the doctor you can't help me but you're telling me to not do something i want to take control i want to take action it's a very believable sis it's a very believable uh thing that probably happens to countless women especially uh the mother's performance is the most consistent yeah the mother's performance is great but just like ground that scene is very grounded until madam webb cass this. She's astrally projected. She's astrally projected. And hugs her mom.

It was almost like a fucking Queen music video where her face comes out of the darkness. She goes, you did it. And in case... I don't have the disease. I don't have the disease. Dude, the thing, when the doctor says, I'm afraid your daughter has this, forget the thing the love before when the doctor says i'm afraid your daughter has this forget the condition that says uh this has this condition it is a physio neurological disorder and then in case you aren't looking at the movie or hearing it cassie then immediately

says but i don't have a physio neurological disorder. Yeah. Cause the whole time she's like, wait, my mom wasn't just an evil woman that died. That didn't care about me. That went on vacation to Peru for fun. Cause in her head, her mom was so gung ho about spiders, was so like into spiders that she was going to take her,

her like days from being born like daughter to to a place where there was no doctors nearby uh do you guys think because i'm sure it's subject to reshoots and rewrites all these dog shit signing projects are do you think ezekiel sims was supposed to be her dad at one point because they never talk about it i don't know anything about the the uh i don't know anything about the comic neither do i oh i think ezekiel seems unrelated to well as a madam webb's just like she's like an 80 year old woman from like the mid from the alternate dimensions and she oh this is like okay so cassie webb sees this vision of her mother uh at the doctor's office because she goes to peru to seek out like answers i hope it was worth it and the funny thing is she drives you she's like

i'm gonna go to peru she gets in her stolen cab drives away and then when she gets back from Peru she drives the cab home did she leave it at the airport um so no one at like no one at JFK saw a license plateless cab sat in the middle of the road it was like I should feel like I should call the owner of that cab who was just like helping a family like get out of his cab when she like GTA'd his cab away. He's out a cab. That is his livelihood. And it's also like, you didn't have to go to Peru for that.

It's a very strange choice because. But you know what I thought was going to happen? I thought she was going to take the girls with her to Peru for training. Okay. We need to talk about the girls because the funny thing about, the funny thing about her going to Peru is talk about the girls because the funny thing about her going to Peru is one of the girls going,

you've got to go to Peru, don't you? How did you know that? That is not, that is a gigantic logical leap. Mr. Wick, are you back in? I've got to go to Peru. By the way, Ezekiel Sims' entire character and hairstyle is just

Spider John Wick. Oh my God, Ezekiel Sims' entire character and hairstyle is just Spider John Wick. Oh my God, we haven't even talked about the girl from Girls. Oh, Shoshanna from Girls. It's Zosia or Zosia. I don't know how you say it, but it's spelled Zosia. She's just there. They have a technology that does not exist in 2003 that Ezekiel Sims has gotten by sleeping with and killing NSA agents. Because that's how that works.

And at his house, by the way. He doesn't do it in a hotel. They go to his house. This girl, we don't know anything about her. She's just the girl in the chair who is a tech wizard who can hack into any camera in the city any camera in the city later face record learn about her nothing never no we don't learn anything about her she's good she's not in the end of the movie she's not in the end of the movie she

she has access to technology that did not exist, even with national intelligence, even with the Patriot Act. We were capping telephones in 2003. She was smarter than him to the point where she's like, you don't want to know about this woman who's with the three girls you're looking for. And he's like, no, I know. Named Cassandra Webb. Webb.

Where do I know that word from? Did you say Spider-Man? No. Did you say Madam-man no do you say madam web i just sorry we have to watch this train scene too but just just like this is another one of those sorry how did this happen kind of scenes where it it has to be a rewrite it is a movie about someone that can see into the future ast astrally project, find things, people, discover a mystery, hunt things down. And Ezekiel Sim's powers, though more physically focused,

at one point he does have a telekinetic conversation with her. Yeah. He was bitten by the same spider. Yeah. But he uses a computer to hunt her down, not spider brain. You may not have gotten the spider powers but you have gotten a different strength the power to see the remember when she goes to the the guy and he's like yeah you can't there's a scene where uh where madam webb tries to climb

on a wall oh my god yeah so Yeah. So she, she goes to Peru to, to figure out what happened. Meet the indigenous spider people. And he goes, this is where you were born. She meets Peruvian John Wick. Weird underground pool

where she was born. Yeah. And that's where she has like an out-of-body experience. Well, they literally plagiarized, well, same,

I guess, owning company, but like, they plagiarized the Doctor Strange. The Doctor Strange thing. Yeah, okay. Not just like, doesn't touch her head or something, literally punches, palm punches the soul out of her.

Her body out of her, yeah, her soul out of her body. And then she goes into the water, and then that sort of comes back again, that sort of type of scene, because it happens three times, I think. It looks so bad. Because, oh yeah, it happens the first time when she falls into the water from the car, and then it happens the times, I think. It looks so bad. Because, oh yeah, it happens the first time when she falls into the water from the car.

And then it happens the second time in Peru. And then it happens the third time at the end when she breaks her back, which is In Goes Blind. Sorry about that. When you see the wheelchair and her glasses. The reveal is insane. It is so funny. And it's,

it, I don't know who it's, there's something going on at like some point in the workflow of these movies where there's almost like a checklist of, well, like,

yeah, but people love Madame Webb. We can't have her not be in a wheelchair and blind at the end. Yeah, this is a beloved character that everybody knows.

They want to see her iconic glasses and her iconic wheelchair. But they don't want a movie about her, say, being paralyzed and blinded and then her stories about her overcoming that with powers. We've already got Professor X. We already have Daredevil. People are tired of those things. We need to see- Multiclass.

I'm like, that's the whole thing. It's like, why not just have her character be Professor X type? I feel like it could be- Yeah, why not start with her being powerful? Why isn't it the movie? Yeah, yeah, because- It's like if Spiderman got bit at the end.

Yeah. It's like, oh, I need balance. Especially because it just feels like paying lip service that at the end they're like oh well she has to she has to like uh break her back and become blind at the end with because then she's not mad at one of the funniest shots it feels like a prequel it's like it doesn't make sense because if we were like oh yeah she broke her she was in a horrible accident broke her back and went blind and then through those challenges realized she had powers or whatever it's like okay that's kind of interesting or just the the first um spider-man with uh toby mcguire no the andrew Tobey Maguire no Andrew Garfield the current guy Tom Holland Tom Holland

me Donald Glover the first one with him he already has his powers we don't see him yeah because it's a pointless really fun to see

and you know what they don't do at least in the the first couple movies they kind of do it in I'm I've got to go home

where am I far from them they're they do a no way home. I've got to go home. Where am I? Far from home. They do a... No way home. That's the one. It's awful naming. I fucking hate it. They do not say

with great power comes great responsibility because A, it's hack. It's hack. And B, it's more provocative. And like, people know that canon. If you would,

if we had a 30-year cultural awareness, like 25-year cultural awareness, of Madam Web's famous wheelchair, then maybe you have to allude to that. But if instead we'd never heard of Spider-Man ever, and during the whole movie, he doesn't have his costume ready of his powers and then which also never happens none of the girls who in the trailer have powers that does

not happen no we are just okay so so uh ezekiel sims who was in the jungle with their mother who is in the jungle the train scene we should we should but his whole so his whole thing is that he has a dream every night and he was explaining this to the nsa agent that he killed in his house and then stole her nsa credentials which implies that he didn't then did some sort of stealth mission to steal the technology out of the nsa i know that sounds exciting don't we don't want to watch that which again if you have the proprietary technology you still do need like the servers and the cameras and like the, all the stuff like it's unclear. It's not sexy.

Also it's 2003 and we were, you know, Patriot act. We were tapping phones. We did not have, we did not have facial recognition. What would be helpful is the end like spider brain powers that would really put them ahead of the game. Can I just briefly mention,

this is a movie about EMTs right after nine 11, nine 11 is never mentioned mentioned they don't mind there there's there's no there's lots of terrorism in the movie in the in that madam webb drives her stolen taxi into a diner there was a lot of domestic and also it takes place clearly spring summer 2003 the invasion of iraq was march 2003 it is really weird to set it up and you can just drive your stolen cab straight to peru and straight to the airport get on and then it post 9-11 you drive the unmarked stolen car to the airport and it's there when you get back from peru she just like she just parked it in

the fucking oh i'm gonna get on a flight so i've got to do the oh is it three day long-term parking oh no no big deal i'll be here no no you can't take a picture of my license plate as it does not exist what's that ezekiel sims has access to the entire international the entirely national grid of all cameras and all tracking and everything i'd better go to the airport connected by the way i should go to the airport where there's no cameras or logs where nobody writes anything down no one cares about cassie no because she's not important okay so you were talking about his motivation so so we see that he has a recurring dream every single night of him being killed by getting his ass kicked by uh the three um spider women uh uh i do want to pull up the actors names because i know we keep

saying sydney sweeney and i want to just give the other actors but and this is not a this is not a slight on the actors but it is very disney coded. It is very like the superhero scenes feel like kick ass where it's like where it's like a tongue in cheek superhero. This feels like a movie from 15 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also just have to really say about those characters kind of I want to be that like guy, but kind of racist. Like here's like the nice Catholic girl and she's innocent and sweet, but maybe a little naive. And then the black girl kind of a bully and a bit aggressive and kind of a,

a ragamunt punk. And then the Hispanic teenager whose main trade at the beginning is not being able to pay rent. Yep. Yeah. And the dad got deported. Her dad got deported. So it's Isabella Merced,

Sydney Sweeney and Celeste O'Connor um yeah not to mention like the uh maddie maddie franklin celeste o'connor's character is that the edgy black girl uh who's a skateboarder and she's the she flips you off yeah yeah and it goes in front of traffic yeah mad black girl yeah mad mad black girl and then there's scary spice there's the yeah she's very scary spice and then uh it was 2003 and then the uh uh the the latina girl the latina girl who her dad got deported she needs to lie low and she doesn't need anybody else and she's handling herself just on your own none of them have parents so that's a requirement to be a spider person i think she's wearing a t-shirt the whole time it says i eat math for breakfast which is yeah because she's she's a freaky genius girl a la gabriella cortez from high school musical which is why it felt like a disney channel movie because they're hitting all of these tropes

um and then sydney sweeney is the hot glasses girl where she like you could just take your head like there's a scene where you know they you know in the original draft of this they took off her glasses and she danced for the jocks or whatever yeah but instead they like lift up her shirt a little bit and like tie it in a little cute way so it's like a crop it is odd to have her being like the movie doesn't know whether to infantilize her down to like an implied like 16 year old or to treat her like the, like, like,

like the nationally recognized current, like top five sex symbols in media. It's. And also she is, I don't know about literal age, but she looks older, pretty significantly older than the other two girls. Yeah.

At least in like, I think it's like a hair and makeup thing or, or like, I think it's, pretty significantly older than the other two girls yeah and at least in like i think i think it's like a hair and makeup thing or like a i think it's i don't want to place any individual blame because it definitely feels like something just like didn't match when everything came together it's a bad direction but it is it is like sydney sweeney i think is a believable high school person in euphoria because they're at the very least you know say what you will about all the shit with euphoria but she at least feels like a three-dimensional person yeah whereas this it's like all she talks about well i guess she doesn't get that much time to talk about anything other than being like that's the problem right is that none of the

characters are that developed it's so they can only be their two-dimensional if it weren't for the movie no high fives that's lame literally if the movie wasn't called madam webb you could really make the argument that there's no protagonist in this movie. Sure, she has the most screen time, but her background is as vague as the others. The big they all connect scene. Do you guys remember that scene? Learning CPR. Learning CPR is a huge plot point in this film. what's funny is legally films can't actually show you how to actually do CPR

because you can be like, Oh, I did what Madam Web told me to do. And I killed this guy. So I feel like they did that though. They showed you the worst. Yeah, but they didn't. So now I'm going to know it.

Now I know it wrong. It's even worse because they just don't say all the steps. So now you're just like, Oh, I just do compressions for hours. With my friends. We switch off. Oh dude. all the steps. So now you're just like, oh, I just do compressions for hours. With my friends, we switch off. Oh, dude, keep the beat. It's so, this is what it makes it feel.

It's not a COVID movie, but it feels like a COVID movie because everything that like, you can imagine what the big scale version of every scene is. The big connecting moment for them. It's not watching a movie. It's not even going on an adventure together.

They basically all just hate each other. Then the girls just kind of arbitrarily start becoming friends yeah and then there's no arc they just and nothing about their life change and then they just start practicing cpr very roughly they're really shoving this pillow that they're practicing on and it's doing this like adorable uh panning 360 of the group all going like like they're doing a changing montage going like but for cpi and and the thing the thing they say the team up thing is i'm getting tired oh you should switch out and they do it three times and then it comes back at the end as the big like i guess we were a team the whole time yeah no you aren't though the the big part where uh she's like well i gotta take you home to your parents

and the turning point where they hate her up until this point and then they're like we don't have parents you're our parent now yeah we don't have my parents are in china my parents hate me my dad just got deported oh shit like okay what do we do now this is my lowest point peru uh my backstory what do you do in that situation you guys just hang out in the hotel with your stolen taxi cab sitting outside of the motel right they went to ben's house best friends with ben and Mary Parker. The thing is, though, as we know, you can't leave 17-year-olds at a house by themselves.

So when these 17-year-olds that are being hunted by a giant Spider-Man, when a woman goes into labor, put them all in the same sedan and drive to the hospital, make sure you're all together. We can't leave you. Can't do that. Can't obscure your faces. Got to make sure you're all together can't leave you can't do that can't can't obscure your faces gotta make sure uh gotta make sure they're all seen yeah take your glasses off make look at it look at this camera in the storyline um madame webb sees these girls get

abducted or excuse me so so after the scene madame webb sees these girls sees these girls getting killed she needs to save them pretty brutally pretty brutally they they go and there's like a neurotoxin that comes out of uh ezekiel sims's hand uh they then after this she steals the taxi drives them away they eventually end up in the forest where she leaves them for hours the taxi is more of a character than most of the other people really developed it's actually like one of the most developed characters like the horse from frozen so so then uh uh so i i need to give this background so that i can say the one of the wildest things to me is um so then she goes she goes to the forest uh uh leaves leaves them leaves them in the forest

she goes back home to like look through her things which i don't know why she had to leave them in the forest for that uh but then she leaves them for too long it's night time in the forest these three girls are alone they they're also hungry they know that 0.5 miles away there's a diner so they go to the diner to eat. We find out one of the characters, Maddie has a lot of money because her parents are rich, but they're neglectful or whatever. So she's like the rebel child. And then right before Madam Web comes back, the inciting event for the conflict that occurs at the uh at the diner is a man looks at a newspaper that he is holding they were abducted today there he already has a newspaper in his hand that has their faces on it it has been six hours since they were abducted how did they print and

distribute a newspaper already? By the way, this diner, lest you forget, is in the woods. It's miles away. There's a little paper boy. I'm so tired. Extra late edition of the paper.

Missing persons edition. I'm one of them. I'm lost in the woods. We got all the missing persons available right here for you there's three women maybe you've seen them at the diner you're at are we in peru i actually have madame webb powers as well but i think they'll be here later did somebody say madame webb okay okay okay we can watch this now she's some kind of madame webb such disney channel outfits every shot so much longer than it needs to be get up oh they cut it out so that just to explain that happens like 10 times where she

sees a girl being attacked and then a guy sits next to her and is like 10 times where she sees a girl being attacked. And then a guy sits next to her and is like, is this the right train? And then she sees another girl being attacked. And then something else happens. Every time she has one of these visions, she has it like four times.

Yeah. It's astounding. She doesn't, she's just like, huh? That's weird. And it is, it's,

it was tense because we've got to take your blood oxygen. Haven't we already done it bitch what is going on this is not the first time this has happened the train scene is like three visions deep you know there are five set pieces before she takes this is the first time she's using it in any way and she still doesn't understand it after this yeah she still doesn't the first time it ever comes up is just boring banal meta event or whatever oh no she uh almost dies at work and it activates the latent spider gene or something right that one happens but the the power has nothing to do with that it just coincidentally happens next scene she goes to the bridal shower and a barbecue and that's kind of happening follow-up there is a fire out of fireworks like a comically explosive factory

that the final set piece also that is like a joke too like a fire at the fireworks factory that's like you know like yeah it's like a joke do you remember the part where they're like a giant sponsor of this oh distractingly but you remember the big sequence during that fire where they're like hey we gotta make sure to get everyone out because the building's structurally unsound and very explosive and then they go back to that building a week later and they have not removed the explosives or fixed it they just put the fire and instead they have the teen girls put flares in in a bunch of explosive crates so that they can explode the fireworks but because madame webb didn't have a vision about it going bad i guess it's okay yeah yeah she does seem to operate on that way around is like well if i i'll

see it if i die yeah so i can't go that way gotta go this way there's two different instances of somebody just being killed that she has a premonition of yeah and doesn't do anything about nothing there's her my caps my caps can you can i can i uh drive the ambulance no no okay boom gets hit by a car yeah comically slow truck just slaps into the funny because i thought it was going to be fireworks related because I kept talking. I thought it was going to happen a little bit later than right after he pulls into the intersection. She goes, no, Mike Epps. And he's like,

I got to drive the thing. I'm Mike Epps. I make bad hamburgers. Anyway. And then he goes. Is that a grand piano? Oh no. Yeah. Like it happens in the background while we're still sitting there with her he literally might as well get hit by a meteor yeah like it is just nothing and then he she does nothing she doesn't use that or even like try and then when she knows she has

powers final set piece she cared more about serving these girls than fucking her friend and colleague of many years which remember when she calls to get like preemptively madam webley she uses the web real line use the web she calls the cops to send a helicopter to pick them up off of the roof yes the fireworks that she sets flies into one of them and explodes the helicopter not just blows up the tail of the helicopter so it goes spinning and ambiguously a team style you can say how the pilot got out some helicopter the whole thing fucking obliterates the front windows there is no ambiguity that he's dead does she use that premonition to do anything no she says these lives are more valuable than the

lives of the helicopter pilot of my cats um there is a funny moment about that where the helicopter rescue mission guy says something that i think i could be wrong here would never happen in real life where they say we can't reach you from there you have to go higher why would you what do you mean go higher like like you're you're telling these people who are on an explosive building to climb something. Like it's not meant for climbing. We need to ride one of the fireworks over to the helicopter. Can I tell you my favorite scene?

Yes, please. When the big battle at the end, they're on the Pepsi logo. They're on the fireworks. They really are. It's not a joke. They are. They're physical on the Pepsi logo and the pepsi logo and the s from the pepsi and the p from the pepsi feature prominently in early in the movie and uh late in the movie

they're on the pepsi logo and there's that moment where they drink a pepsi and it's like logo out the freshest bluest looking can of pepsi i've ever seen in my life she's like tapping the can and like yeah she's like i sure do love She's like, I sure do love Pepsi. Man, I sure do miss my mom, but a little bit less with the power of Pepsi Max. So it's the big final battle. They're on the Pepsi logo. And she has finally realized by using the web,

she can be in multiple places at once. And because they cannot have a moment of silence in this film and they were really banging them out in the adr booth she's like go she she's just like you know jesus you know and all of her different selves are helping all of the girls and she goes here take my hand come on let me help you all right she's like siri like she's saying these dumb weird lines just show us why is she saying and the music also is like the the the triumph music is at full blast so it's buried in the mix is it's like. The funny thing about that scene.

I think the theater I was in. Everyone laughed at this. Was that she's like. What's. What are their names again? It's Isabel. Oh yeah. Hold on.

Let's see. Oh Isabel Merced's character. Isabel, Sydney and Celeste. Or or anya anya is her name um and sydney sweeney's character is named julia okay not cassie which is confusing yeah that is confusing so she's like she's like um this. Anya, do this. And then she goes, Maddie, hold on. She like doesn't do any, she like goes to Maddie and just gives her words of encouragement.

She's not doing, you don't tell her to do anything different. She doesn't need to be there actually. Yeah. We really can't emphasize this enough. The peak of her powers is, it's not her astral projecting and then using like telekinesis to lift a big rock or something. It's her power gives her the ability of having friends.

It's anxiety. Her power is like, I think something bad's going to happen. But her astral projection thing just is like, if Adam Scott was there, he's that. If she has three friends with her, she's the exact same thing as her power right they just turned up and they're like oh hey um okay let me give you a hand that's that's it and it is the it's not like a cool like she floats down and gives them a hand she's like clumsily like oh i'm so sorry don't fall don't fall i really didn't believe that uh her and and adam scott uh ben parker were friends during their um their their partners paramedic partners

and uh they're eating like chinese food and adam scott's talking about how he met someone which that was so confusing because i was like is he telling her that because they used to date? Like what? What? It's the idea is that their co-work. It's weird because their relationship isn't such that he could be dating someone for a while and it's gotten serious and she doesn't know about it. Yeah. Because because he goes, I met someone and they go, what's this one's name?

This is what Cassie says. No, she says like, what's this one's name this is what cassie says no she says like what's this one's name and then she's asleep and it's so weird because it's like i i have to assume this was a choice that was like it's i don't think it's her fault um i mean i don't know if i'd use the word fault she just doesn't give a shit she didn't give a shit on the press tour she knows the movie's dog shit yeah yeah she's a good performer um but the uh then um and then ben ben parker just goes it says nothing and she goes oh it's oh it's serious oh it's serious because you won't tell me her name yeah which again or because you because now that i'm razzing you about it, you're like, no, no, no, this one's for real. We can, it's just, I can, like Matt, using the web,

I can see what this movie was, several different, I can astral project myself into different edits. Absolutely, there was a version of this. And this really shows when like she drives him over to band and is like, I need your help. I need you to do something. So that's him like stepping up to the plate or whatever that scene especially

clearly that's supposed to be a relationship that's kind of been cultivating because he could have just been a friend but no the partner for the ambulance and then clearly it was supposed to be a well now that I am omnipotent in the future with my funny glasses I have

to let that go I have to let that go. I have to let earthly things go. I can no longer be friends. How's your vision? Crazy. Crazy line. Crazy line. They walk into a clock tower apartment,

her new $20 million loft apartment. She breaks her back and eyes. She is permanently. She is smacked by a firework and blinded and the girls come to visit her and ask her how her vision is she's like still not still not there and she's like i can see now better than i ever the using the web i can i can see now than i better never better have before i gotta bless you by the way you're about to see dude exhausting to live with her every time it's like oh to finish your shit did you and then you flush yeah you forgot to flush yeah i know you can do that i know you have powers you don't have

to keep doing this um but um i'll i just want to conclude by saying loved the movie. I'll do it every second. Like we will show the picture of me crying. Cause it is, well, actually can we watch more of the trance? You know, I want to see what, what shows.

Cause I, the one thing I do want to try to illustrate, and obviously they're not going to show this on anything. They publicly really publicly release is the sheer awkwardness. Adam Scott, I think is impervious to awkwardness. Cause somehow all of his deliveries felt well-placed. He plays an awkward character in most of the things he does, including this film.

So shame his name is Ben again. I almost feel like he leans into it and it's fun. Like he's a fun. He has the right reactions to it. I just, I think i'm an adam scott he's just a very natural performer like yeah you know what i'm actually a dakota johnson fan even though i don't like any movie she's ever been in did you see the suspiria remake what you see the suspiria remake no i didn't she's really good in really i want to you know what she's good in um the that um Okay, her last name's Coleman Olivia? Olivia Coleman's movie Where she goes to the beach

Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, beach Olivia Anyways, there are a few films I like her in But Dakota Johnson is I just like her as a person for some reason i want to see at least one of her uh phoned in press press tour things because i didn't see any what no she i will say she did a great um i was watching i was like watching the shane gillis monologue this morning because it was you know the whole thing lost daughter i saw a uh

a couple of her snl sketches from she hosted whatever like two months ago something great and those did a really good uh they called we can destroy destroy us now oh uh please don't destroy please she has a great uh sketch with please don't destroy where they very openly acknowledge that three of the four of them in that scene are Nepo babies. And then they all put their rings together and say, a foot in the door and so much more. I love that. Who is, is Dakota Johnson a Nepo baby?

Yeah, her mom is Melanie Griffith and her dad is Don Johnson. Oh, okay. 80s stars. Cool. The thing you can pretty much, what's so weird about this movie is that it's just the

core competency that comes with money is missing yeah like you know no matter what the movie the script the director anything like that these movies are hiring guild crafts people these are like people these aren't just like workmen these aren aren't scabs. These are people that have been doing this craft, at least some people on set, for 40 years. Lighting should always be competent. There should never be a boom in frame. And one of the things there shouldn't be is motion sickness. And there's two scenes that for some reason are shot like succession. But there's these weird little snap zooms for emphasis.

I'm like, was i'm like the different decade this is a different movie it's you're you're right that there's a core competency that comes with like actual marvel movies where like they feel like they always just land at mid and they're always like quippy and they're like funny and they've got something going and then it's like mid to good you know but these sony like inspired by based on the novel marvel by whatever like marvel movies the sony pictures ultimate universe aka the sperm yeah it's it's just like they just don't have the cogs or whatever that that kind of lift up the movie and it just ends up being something totally strange it's uncanny because like they've they've made just a the the calculus is broken where they've said

okay here are 10 things 10 traits of those other very successful movies they're transferable it's like if i if i make a beautiful thanksgiving dinner and i go like okay well people really liked that so for dinner i'm going to have yams with silverware in it some sauce and a plate crushed up no and i think what i'll do is i'll take a live turkey and that will sit in the chair and eat the meal and i'll cook myself you know you know you took all the right ingredients and you put them in all the wrong orders. But you liked every single piece of those. You don't want a plate next time we have a meal?

I do want a plate. But you broke the plate and you put it in the food. Right. And you all said that you really liked the turkey. So now you get to hang out with it in the chair. No, but I want it to eat. You always said that. How much do you guys love Spider-Man?

So here's his friend. Here's an old woman i take it it's so crazy but i cannot stress enough how much i would have rather seen a movie about well i mean i enjoy what this was because of it's so bad but like i don't think that i think if you're gonna do madame webb then make it about the the the woman in the wheelchair who can't see who has like mystical powers she is do this story but stylistically make it like a drama don't make it a superhero movie yeah because it's not a character story that's one of the pieces that they've like incorrectly taken is well people like fan service no but they specifically like fan service

for things they know about so like well so like we'll talk about like the web and and you know we'll make reference to ezekiel sims anyone and like i i'm like i like comics i have no fucking idea who ezekiel sims is and they're like oh hey was that anybody catch the uh the spider women there and they're like i mean by costume i guess but we don't we don't know why they get power like like it doesn't even happen ezekiel sims is going to kill them because one day they're going to develop powers and we do not see them develop even a modicum of power throughout the entire movie that's why i thought she was going to take them to peru so that they could get powers and get trained and become what we know they're gonna become yeah but maybe they don't become

maybe they get their powers from that spider that's in ezekiel sims house oh that's true it's still there yeah because he's got the uh uh what's it called not an aquarium but uh terrarium he's got that room-sized terrarium so he can ominously have it crawl around his fingers and then go back in the case also it doesn't wear shoes i think i understood that him with his spider powers meant that he didn't age very fast but between the 70s in the jungle and 2003 he looks exactly the same a little gray and he looks comically gray in the flash forward oh full gray he looks like he got scared by a ghost he looks like a like bellatrix the stranger like one of those harry potter characters um the uh yeah because and then the whole thing

with him is that he's been cursed because he took the power that wasn't his. And he's been outrunning his destiny of being killed by the spider women. Not the people, not the people in Peru, not anything. Instead, he's running his destiny of being killed by some people that meet and work together because he is trying to. Also, he gets so gray in the span of those girls growing up a little bit. It's, I mean, he gets so gray in the span of those girls growing up a little bit. It's, I mean, white hair. I feel like we should have seen a little bit of them developing powers or something because they all play themselves in costume as the spider women. So it has to be soon.

People would see that movie. It just doesn't it i the the the the environment we're talking about right now is like yeah what if the movie is uh structured like a little more like first like x-men first class where yeah it ends with xavier going into the wheelchair but at the same time that's like he still has his powers at the start and it's kind of established and it has a brief flashback but then the story is about other characters mirroring his journey so that he can still also have an arc without being slow and annoying and being like hmm when i think everyone should freeze everyone keeps freezing why does that keep happening to me this movie is a prequel but is it based on a comic story no because if it's not then that's a why would you do

that you like really have to trust like there's got to be some sort of like 5d chess that like they messed up where they're like oh no we need to have all these pieces in motion so that that that something like a prequel that no like that has never been committed to media before i mean if you just don't care about art and you just have no interest in art and you're mainly you know what you're major top tier executive and like your main hobby is flying on private jets to highlands then you're just gonna you're gonna okay the component pieces of something especially this fucking thing's been in development for like a decade if you someone comes up to you and they say remember spider-man yeah kind of

he's the superman yeah sure mate we we're making a movie where it's like madame webb who is that is in the comics okay comics marvel comics they do that and she uh see the future groundhog day like oh i've seen that i was i was 90 when that came out and then like oh but it's also an origin of the spider women they're like oh cool and these are all like true but none of them work together and it's it's it's about her it's a it's a prequel to and and spider-man his mom is pregnant and they're like oh it's about her. It's a prequel to, and Spider-Man, his mom is pregnant. And they're like, oh, it's like an origin for that. I'm like, yeah, but why? Why is it?

Why? I mean, the reason Spider-Man is on here is because they have to do it joint with Marvel, and Marvel's not going to make this movie. But there is like this, the movie feels very scared of its most interesting pieces. Yeah. Can we Google, like, best Madam Web interview moments? Because I haven't seen any of them because I've been saving myself. I have always really loved Marvel movies. I mean, what percent of Marvel movies have you seen?

Four percent. So you're a part of the marvel universe she's not a part of the she's not i mean that's the trick well something that i think people forget it's like these they don't watch movies yeah these people are so rich why would they watch movies they have like cocaine that's good for you maybe she watches different kinds of movies and this isn't her cup of tea. Yeah, that's what I mean. There's like nobody. They have no obligation. This is work.

We went home and listened to the podcast. They don't watch movies. You listen to lots of podcasts. What percentage of podcasts have you listened to? I wouldn't say four. I'd say zero. Point four. I know a lot of comedy writers who do not watch comedy television.

They only watch like reality TV. Yeah. Because it's work. Yeah. It's like I don't watch commentary YouTubers unless it's my friends. And that's just to make fun of them. Yeah, exactly. So Madam Web sweep the Oscars.

Can you imagine? I really like all the spider-man i grew up with toby mcguire as spider-man and i kind of want to bring back his emo spider-man yeah sorry andrew garfield and tom holland and miles morales i love that actor yeah uh tom holland movies spider-man here's here he comes I love that actor. Tom Holland movies. Spider-Man. Here he comes. That's about as good as we did.

Where's my Spider-Man? Where's my home? Spider-Man, here he comes. Spider-Man, wait, come back. Very funny. That's number one. Spider-Man. And he's back.

And the other one, the last one is the goblet of Spider-Man. I'm not very sarcastic, no. I'm constantly trying to get my best friend arrested. Dakota definitely has a regret. I can't! Dakota's never replied to me. Never. It's been two years.

I love them. Yeah. And they annoy me. These younger women. Is that an earthquake? Okay, we just had an earthquake. I believe you like being surprised, but do you ever look surprised? Surprise!

Yeah, that's it. That's exactly what I expected. I mean, I think if she takes this, like, like she takes it seems like she's taking this well and also it's like it's brought a genuine joy to me and so now I'm like unironically like I want to be on her side I like Marvel products just fine now

but I enjoyed this more than any Marvel going experience since like maybe Infinity War this is a lot like Black Panther. It's like thematically, you know? Yeah. It's a movie about family. Ruth Kanda forever, you know?

Web Kanda forever. Yeah, okay. That was fun. Oh, do you have any more guests of the line from Adam Webb? Oh, yeah. I have another one. I mean, I'll'll play i saw the movie i'll go i'll go through uh what i have because i uh after i know you'd seen it i didn't

make a game for each one but just the most funny ones yeah just say some quotes but uh the first person i have on here is new york's getting crazier every day ezekiel simms here's cassie's name did you you say web? I hope the spiders were worth it. Ceiling guy. Spider person? Yep. But I don't have a physiological disorder. You did it.

You know, I think you gestured to it already, but the version of with great power that we actually do get from a vague peruvian man when you take on the responsibility great power will come no one that's not how it works i would go so far as to say that's the exact opposite of how that works yeah that man was going for yoda and he did not when you take on the responsibility great power no because that is the response then you have to be responsible that's the whole point with great power comes great responsibility like no with when you are responsible responsibility and then all of a

sudden for nothing you just go like i'm gonna i feel like taking responsibility or something hey i got powers great i'll take responsibility of that i don't really agree with that quote i think you're just like with great power on thursdays i can see into the future i really feel like i'm about to be... I just mopped the floors. I'm feeling responsible. I have a feeling when this movie comes to streaming, it's going to be huge. I'd like them to make the same mistake

they made with Mobius and re-release it. Right now, I just wish I could pull up all my favorite clips and I can't. Yeah. How do we forget this? The perfect line. The final line of the movie the best part about the future is that it hasn't happened yeah what what does that what does that

mean oh and use the web that's a real thing they say use the way in a like in one of her fugues she's like use the web there's also that pigeon that she saved. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's the scariest scene in the movie. It's the scariest scene in the movie. It's momentarily a horror film. She does the magic trick of lifting up the window

and then bring it back down and it's fixed. I feel bad for Jacob because he's going to see it on Thursday and we just ruined the whole film. No, we did not. So much. Jacob, I'm more excited. You've got to see this next week. We want your your your opinions.

Yeah, dude. I got that. I have to go see it again. I was. Oh, I was just thinking, by the way, the best thing about the future is that it hasn't happened. Wait, wait. I just remembered there's a scene. Oh, yeah.

At the hospital. At the hospital at the very end of the movie uh the doctor comes in the nurse comes in and goes uh are you guys all family and then she goes yes they're all mine and then she's like no further questions and leaves these are my girls i birthed all these concubines and then she's like okay i'll leave you these girls and your flesh colored eye covers to do it then oh my god i forgot about that was such a weird choice the eye covers are so funny because i just never seen those at a hospital before but they had to do something like and they didn't have a cyclops visor ready yeah wrap her with like a bandage yeah that would have been cooler but then they gave her cool

shades and then she gets her cool shades when they do the big reveal but the big reveal of her is so funny and it's such a funny fan service for like something that no one even knew about it'd just be like if she just like turned it her maybe like at the end of the movie she's like i got hepatitis like oh okay good all right is that a thing is that the lore there is a medical thing i guess why did she go blind in the context of the movie she got hit with a firework right in the eye yeah i had the opposite problem i was like why did she get paralyzed because the fire see that one that happened i whispered to opposite problem. I was like, why did she get paralyzed? Because the firework. See, that one, that happened. I whispered to my friend and I was like, that would break her back.

While falling in the water? Yeah, she falls on her back into the water. Yeah, she falls in the back of the water and then she is like having her like, oh, the all is lost moment. And then gets hit with a fucking firework in the face. And with the, there's great comic timing in a lot of this. I remember that's canon for the comic book. Get smacked in the face with it. Smacked in the face with a fucking firework in the face. There's great comic timing in a lot of this. I heard that's canon for the comic book.

Get smacked in the face with a kingpin. The big moral of the story is don't play with fireworks and steal a cab. And use the web. If you steal a cab, you get to keep it. The cab really is the most developed character. I have the most affection for it.

Let me see what... I texted Eddie affection for it. Let me see what... I texted Eddie and you after. Let me see what Eddie said. Some stupid shit, probably. He said... I said, okay, Madam Web is fucking hysterical. Holy shit.

He said, it's incredible. You did it, but I don't have the disease. And then, did she install the web window or was it the reason she got the apartment um oh i said uh the wheelchair reveal i'm in tears her new york city apartment had me googling paramedic salaries the incredibly tall wheelchair by the way yeah it's like it's like uh when you see people stack up chairs but after like aa it's like a the difference between like a longboard for like street riding and like a skateboard for

like doing tricks um i said in 2003 if you steal a taxi you just get to keep it uh he said it's nyc you would think somebody would come looking for their taxi but they bought and work out of every day oh they took the plates off can't do it don't you think um taking the plates off would make cops look at you more so much that's the situation unless he's looking for it it would only hide it from the guy that owns the car this is awesome i'm glad that other people are having this someone tweeted madame webb steals a taxi and then she just has that taxi for the rest of the movie no one is looking for it finders keepers and then someone quote tweeted that with this is my favorite part of madame webb steals a taxi and then she just has that taxi for the rest of the movie no one is looking for it finders keepers and then someone quote tweeted that with this is my favorite part of madame webb she she even flies out of the country at one point and i thought surely she will not still be driving

this stolen taxi after this but sure enough she is still driving it after she just parked it at the airport that's another part where i'm like is this peru part of reshoot is this is this something tweaked like was she just supposed to be driving the taxi somewhere and then it is like we're gonna put a peru part in here because we're gonna shoot her meeting a peruvian man on the subway and it just didn't hit the same what if in the comic she drives a taxi oh yeah she well she it's that's her wheelchair she has a big she has a yellow new york wheelchair peter you've got to look at this web. Something on it.

I got a fly, didn't I? Bless you, Peter. Huh? You're about to sneeze. And then she's like chucking pepper at him. I can sneeze now, please. Please. You have a fever? No? Shit.

Well, you will at some point so some some unknown point in the future you're gonna sneeze that's good that's really close uh bless bless you when you some people say that when you go all right i'm gonna go i'm gonna go swing around i know we just talked a lot about madden web but that was not what we were supposed to talk about today this is the future and the best thing about the future is that it hasn't happened it hasn't happened yet and uh have you seen who the fuck did i marry i have seen people talking about it a lot yes i have seen i've seen the name risa tisa because i thought it was really cool but i oh who did i see

uh talk oh i think maybe ft signifier talked about it okay i might have seen that a few weeks ago is it kind of a rage bait type thing i genuinely i haven't seen it and i was supposed to watch it before but jacob said it's better if i don't. So Jacob's going to present this to us. I think I might be confusing it with someone else that FD did. Yeah. So this is the viral moment on TikTok right now that everyone's talking about. And it's interesting that it's becoming so viral on TikTok because there are 50 parts to this story. That's crazy. Each of them is about 10 minutes.

Dude, that's a few madam webs i can't wait to watch madam more engagement yeah and in the last this came out a lot like a week and a half ago and her these this series of videos has gained over 34 million likes since 400 million views that's crazy so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna summarize the first two or three videos and then i'm gonna drop you in a really good place for you guys to watch and react um so the first video she tells uh us about how she met this guy on a dating app um he had recently she lives in georgia okay shout out. Yeah. In this town in Georgia. And she met this guy on a dating app who had recently moved there. And he's this VP at a condiment, unnamed condiment factory. And so they meet on this app, they talk a bit and they decide to go on a date.

They're going on a date to the cheesecake factory. Great. She loves the cheesecake factory. We all do. Shout out. Things are going really well she's on the way to the date and she blows a tire so she calls him and he's like hey i like don't know what to do like i blew my tire right like i pulled off into this gas station

he meets her there and helps her change her tire gentleman she's like okay that's cool that's hot like and they know how to change your tire i can't do that yeah yeah and so then they go to the cheesecake factory they have a great date they talk about what they want and they both you know they're dating they're in their i think either late 30s or early 40s they're dating to find someone to marry and have a family they're on the same page right um and so then also on this date she gets a bit of background about him he just moved here for work from california james hines yeah i was thinking i was literally gonna make the same joke um but yeah he just got this position with the condiment company company in

georgia um and he moved from california where he had like gotten divorced he was previously married and had two stepchildren that he was close with um uh but he moved for work and then so that's like the first date okay they go on several more like successful dates they get to know each other really well it feels like a true crime setup like doctor death kind of thing yeah yeah and this is this is in early 2020 so this is uh very early stages of the pandemic before lockdown happens yeah so then lockdown happens and they are still like really hitting it off um and he's like you know i i just moved. I don't have like a lot of friends or anything, um, yet here. And my family's all like out of state.

Um, and so lockdown happens and he's like, would you want to essentially like, what do you, what do you call it? Like quarantine together. Yeah. Yeah. Would you want to quarantine together? Like, cause we've been on several dates now and like, we're hitting it off. Like great.

And that, I mean that happened. A lot of people were in that situation. A lot of people were in the dating bubble. like because we've been on several dates now and like we're hitting it off like great and that i mean that happened a lot of people were in that situation a lot of people with a dating bubble and like he had a small apartment and what he had told her is that his job is going to help him like with like relocation fees and gonna help him buy a house essentially in georgia um because he's like this vp and like getting paid all this money and they're gonna help him buy a house eventually but he uh just hasn't found one so he's in this vp and like he can pay all this money and they're gonna help him buy a house eventually but he uh just hasn't found one so he's in a studio apartment right now and so they decide yeah but we'll uh she says that they can quarantine together at her place

um and she works for like the state or something so she like makes enough money for what she does but she's still like living paycheck to paycheck you know right she's not you know a vp or whatever yeah not not james hines every year yeah yeah and so they they move in together for covid and they're quarantined quarantining together and some time passes and she brings up the question like are you still gonna get a house like are they still going to like help you get a house? And if so, is it just going to be for you or are we going to move in together? Like things are getting serious. They quarantine together.

Things can move fast when you're like spending a lot of time with people. Happened to a lot of us. Yeah. Yeah. I won't name any names. I'll just say myself. Let's just call it me. So they decide that they want to live together.

And he's like, my approved budget for a home is $700,000. And so they find a real estate agent. Which I feel like is going to get you some stuff in Georgia. Are they in Atlanta? it's it's a town uh that i hadn't heard of i mean obviously you know better than me but i assume that sounds pretty yeah i mean especially outside of a major city i feel like 700k goes a long way yeah yeah she's she's pretty pumped about that and she's like is that like you know i couldn't afford a 700 000 mortgage is that something you're like comfortable with

with like the assistance from your job or whatever right and he's like we're more than good like okay it's chill like don't worry about this at all isn't he also just like i mean they're referring to this like uh like additional income but he's like a vp right like is he already just making a lot of money yeah and so part of his backstory is that he says he played arena football or is that what it's called yeah that's a thing arena football back in california and um she didn't know anything about that she's like sure fucking whatever and he's like apparently had a bunch of money saved up from that and working in tech back in california sure and he's like i have all like several different accounts i have this like offshore

account whatever um but like we're good financially but but that he's he's temporarily embarrassed and that he doesn't have access to his cash or is that not because like he he still is supposed to be paid some money that he doesn't have or no he didn't have the house because he wasn't ready to get it yet yeah he he hadn't found a house and supposedly whoever was supposed to be helping him with this assistance was like on maternity leave or something okay there was just a situation where he was just chilling in a studio apartment for a while and then they quarantined together. Okay.

But he's like, yeah, let's start looking for a house. They find a real estate agent. And this is like spring 2020, I think. So they find a real estate agent. They start looking for houses. They find a house that they like. And they're doing virtual tours because of COVID. Right.

And they found a house that she really likes and is like well within their budget. I think it's like 400k and so they were like let's put in an offer and so he says that he's gonna put in an offer and you know is gonna take care of it all she doesn't have to worry about anything you know and so they put it in the offer and he's like yeah they're like gonna do an inspection but the inspector's backed up like but it's like happening things are happening my webcam is broken i can't do a call exactly yeah and so that's that's where i'm gonna bring you guys in is kind of like they they found they found a place they're like

that they liked and they're trying to get it okay let me But the inspectors, so they put the offer in. They put the offer in, and they're like in. They're in escrow. Yeah. And they're waiting for inspections. But the inspectors, because it's a weird time, it's COVID, lockdown, and so I'm sure schedules are kind of wacky. Yeah.

And so I'm going to bring you guys in on part four. Okay. All right. Part four. So we go to Home Depot. We go to Lowe's. I'm choosing all these appliances. He's taking pictures of the SKU number.

We have representatives helping us. And he basically explained to them, hey, we're buying a house. We should be closing sometime in June. Can we order this stuff now? Can I put a hold on it? What can we do? Because we're not ready for delivery. stood there as the home depot rep said we can hold it in our warehouse like you can buy something and we can hold it people do it all the time especially with covid so i watched him pay um i want to say it was about three or it was either 350 or 500 i watched them pay a deposit on a whole new set of appliances for them and they were going to hold it until we were ready for delivery i watched this so i was like okay good deal like we got the appliances next let's go to rooms to go and ashley furniture and find um

actual furniture so we went all around rooms to go we went to ashley furniture we went to american signature and i i saw all these things that i wanted again he's taking pictures of it he was like i can go online and order it i didn't think anything of it because again i just saw that we held the appliances so i was like okay that's yeah because why would you this all seems normal sure yeah i mean i man i'm really i'm really struggling with that my direct contact she's making with the camera please just drive i know's always on the road, ma'am. Adam, whip. So April turns into May. May 2020 comes. This is where things start to get a little interesting.

May comes and obviously we had not done inspection. And I'm asking him all the time. What's so what's the deal with the house? He was like, well, because of COVID they're trying to get someone to do the inspection, but the guy that they had, it was always something, the guy they had caught COVID. So they're going to have to get somebody else. And he's like, he's like 15 houses backed up. So it'll be a while.

So at this point in May, I know. These all sound like real practical problems that could have happened. Just to what end? Is he just trying to like, all right. Yeah, I guess we'll find out. I guess that's why it's so many parts. What is the grift? You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. At this point in May of 2020 i started recording um audio diaries i don't know why i it was some something just made me just start recording my thoughts in an audio diary and i still have them and i would i would save them by the date and I would just start talking about what's on my mind. So I was like, I knew there was something. Something was nagging me like, but I kept pushing it out of my mind. I was like, you saw, this is what I reminded myself. You saw him pay for the appliances.

You know, the house is under contract. You know that he told you that he's the one who put the house under contract. Why would, like, I remember saying to myself, why would he lie about that? This is so easy to verify. Why would he lie about that? Have you caught him in any other lie? And at the time the answer was no.

So I really was like, maybe you just aren't used to a guy who actually does what he's supposed to do. Like I, I was questioning myself and then answering my own questions. So inspection didn't happen around mid May.

I found out I was pregnant. Oh my God. May, 2020. When I found out I was pregnant, he was ecstatic, and I was like, oh, shit. The reason why I was, oh, shit, is because, number one, I'm plus size. Number two, because of my age, I felt like it it was probably gonna be a high-risk pregnancy um yeah medical care for black women in the u.s as well yeah heightened rate of uh complications well they say complications just bad care yeah but i goddamn dude i like i gotta say this is a

not based on like a oh fellas don't want to get tied down kind of thing i'm always the idea of dating someone for a very small period of time getting pregnant and then the guy's like yeah that i'm like why yeah what are you what's going on what's going on here if we got even if it was like even the suggestion i came up to like if i was getting not even married or whatever like getting married like kind of exploring dating it's early even with the intensity of covid whatever if he was like hey do you want to have a baby like should we start trying i'd be like this is weird that you even want to do that this early especially when they hashtag it pathological liar yeah that he should have known from that yeah you should have known from her ass she should have madame webbed into her future tiktok series use the tag and saw the hashtag madame tag and i wasn't married

and that nagged i cannot tell y'all how much it nagged me there was a lot of internal struggle in between my family didn't even know that he had moved in at this point. I told them, you know, that I was pregnant, um, went to the doctor, everything looked good. Um, but again, because it was COVID, he couldn't go in with me, um, into the actual room. So, you know, doing any sort of ultrasound, doing the blood tests because my HCG levels were really high. So the doctor was like, hey, it might be twins. We don't know yet. You're still kind of early, you know, along.

Gonna love jazz doctors. Hey, who knows? Could be an alien. Who's to say? What's up? I was like a guy in there. That's crazy. How did you do that?

They gave me a due date. Due date was January 26 guy in there. That's crazy. How'd you do that? They gave me a due date. Due date was January 26th of 2021. So, yeah. May, found out I was pregnant. So there was now more of a push into, we got to get a house. We got to get the fuck up out of here. I'm not having a baby in riverdale okay nothing against riverdale but i ain't having a baby in riverdale so

we need we need to we need to find out what's going on with this house and so he was very he was on top of it he had an answer for everything um he was like you know i'm gonna call and find out what's going on blah blah blah um he then magically told me about a week later oh they're going to do inspection on the on the house like in two days so i was just like you gotta ask to see the house you gotta so at this point she hasn't seen the house only only through oh right only through virtual just sitting out sitting in the car let me look at it currently living there until they sell it oh and so it was like they couldn't that i'll do it from the car just let me look at it from the car have them come out and wave do they exist this is part of this is like

a little bit of cope it's like a little bit of oh is this too good to be true i just won't think about it i'll just let it is it if somebody is that especially that early in a relationship it's just like oh yeah i have another business trip i'm like going out of town again what's the business trip uh the trip i'm like oh you're cheating on me the thing is it was such a crazy time that like i think there's a bit of a fog of war sort of cast on everything. Because it sounds like she was suspicious. She was starting these audio diaries, but she didn't have a tangible reason to distrust him at this point. So she's just kind of putting her ducks in a a row getting her thoughts straight like working through like clearly she's conflicted but she's like working through it

on her audios and stuff which i think is a very um mature way of like sort of good to be like self self-consulting sounds like she wasn't communicating with people outside of it though which is right right wasn't she even she told the family she's pregnant but still not that she's living with him that he moved in yeah because uh her her family and herself are like very religious and so she had a lot of like shame i think around that oh man that also makes sense as to why you shouldn't even mention like potentially terminating the pregnancy yeah yeah so yeah she's very religious and so is her family and so i think she was okay with the idea of living with him because of covid right but it was something that was kind of like in the back of her head like oh this is yeah not a good thing

like man just an impossible situation yeah and she's not trusting her intuition which is totally understandable in this crazy time you know in early covid days and you don't want to have a good situation especially i don't mean in a cynical way like a healthy potentially positive relationship when you're getting housing and yeah so she's like am i is my intuition just me being scared? Yeah. You know, like, I get it. Also, like, she's got this dude who's telling her everything she wants to hear. And she doesn't have a reason to, she doesn't have a tangible reason to doubt. So it's like. Yeah.

At the best of times wouldn't. And now. Yeah, exactly. It's like, well, I really don't want to fuck this up now. Like right now we need each other. You know. I guess they did an inspection he showed me an inspection report um the only thing that they said that the roof had

just recently been replaced which he i remember he was very happy about um and the issues that they there were for the house were minor it was not not, it was not a bad, because we did have a discussion about it. He was like, it's not, it's nothing that we can't handle. Then he said that we were set to close the end of May. We were set to close the end of May. He told me it was going to be a virtual closing. You're probably like, was going to be a virtual closing you're probably like what the hell is a virtual i was about to ask he's saying because of covid people are not

closing in the office they're doing a virtual closing where um we're actually going to be living in the house digitally we're going to be they're going to put telepresence robots inside the house. Let's go to bed. Plug me in. You need to electronically sign the paperwork. This is what he's telling me. I wonder if that's even a thing that, because, like, I think at the end of the day, you still do need, like, a notary. And I don't know if there's, like, a digital way to, like, notarize those types of documents. Yeah, so many of the i mean you know it's different in different regions and i wasn't even in i was out of the country at the time at the u.s but like

this is still so early in the pandemic that i feel like a lot of the rules were getting fudged a lot of stuff was kind of getting thrown around oh yeah i feel like real estate would be pretty low on the list of things to regulate yeah you'd be like hey wear a mask like it would it would i don't know be a little more on the side of like oh well we have to close so zoom there is that it's so like shit just wasn't as regular oh this is yours my bad i could also see realtors being so desperate to get a sale because no one's buying or moving right that they're just like yeah let's just do it you know yeah because even apartments were like um people were getting like crazy deals on rent just to like get them to occupy the space so i know a lot of people who ended up moving

just because it was like financially advantageous to like take the risk during lockdown. He was like, we're set to close like just before Memorial Day. And so for some reason, again, there's still that nagging part. For some reason, I didn't start packing I anyone that knows me will tell you I hate moving I've done it enough in my life I hate moving but I did not start packing up that house at all I was just like you know I'm pregnant my body was changing so fast that it was like I can barely keep my eyes open half the day. Um, and so no, I didn't start packing. And I remember I did record again. I was recording audio diaries just about every day

when something didn't sit right. I would verbally record it in the audio diary because I was like, I don't know what it is, but there's something. That was the theme of our relationship. I don't know what it is, but I know there's something. And so I remember talking to myself in my little prayer closet, because that's where I would do my recordings. And I remember thinking, what ifics. So God can hear it. What if we don't get this house?

Like, what if we don't get... What if he's lying? But again, there goes that thought process of, why would he lie about this? Like, who makes up that they're buying a house when in fact they're not and then he's showing you all this paperwork like come on you can't be that jaded that you don't even believe what's in front of you all right so now we're going to go into part five. Incredible self-awareness for the 10 minute timer. Good call.

Yeah. Good time boxing. I feel like she's very good at putting me on the edge of my seat. Yeah. Like when's the shoe going to drop? Right. And there was a few shoes that dropped in that one, like the pregnancy reveal. I will say this is like prime girl content

because it's very hangout it's very there's no like no pomp and circumstance about like delivery and like fucking let's go here's the facts the matter first of all it's like that guy that uh was moving the camera close to his face too much when we were on the last episode where he's like, there was a woman who was getting divorced and she ate all the children. And like, this is much more just like, yeah, I'll listen to 19 hours of a true crime documentary kind of, kind of consumption.

The funny thing is we, we watch like 10 minutes of her like driving, commuting somewhere or whatever. And people are like, when is she going to get to her destination? This commute is insane, girl. And I'm like, it's she going to get to her destination? This commute is insane, girl. And I'm like,

it's only been, you know, I guess, wait, how were all of these parts recorded in the same chunk? No. When's the outfit change? There's usually like,

like five to eight of them, eight like chunks. And it's like, you know, she recorded them over like several days okay okay okay yeah it's kind of it's kind of broken up into like chapters i guess okay part five who the fuck did i marry so i'm questioning all this stuff in my head out loud on my audio diaries. And then once again, I'm like, but look at what she, but look at what he's giving you. Like he's paying.

It wasn't a question about money. It was just a question of, are we really, are we really about to move into this house? And keep in mind, he's paying all the household bills. He still is. So we were supposed to close before Memorial Day. We didn't. There was an excuse. There was always an excuse with him. Always an excuse. And I didn't know enough about the process to question stuff because I really

wasn't involved the way I should have been. And that's understandable because like buying a house is like so many, like if you haven't gone through that before, it's like, you could say that, oh yeah, there's the step where we all do like jumping jacks in our swimsuits. And then, and then we signed the contract. And they're not married and they don't have a shared bank account like what is it's almost like she i mean she has the visibility of like a friend like what they've known each other a few months or something at this point

what six months or something yeah it would be like i've you know dated people longer than that and they don't know my ssn right you know like i don't know yeah if katie was going through with buying a house and she was like yeah there's my work is supplementing it or something like that i'd be like okay well i guess i believe you by default that seems like a very odd thing that's happening but then at no point am i gonna go like i'm gonna log into wells Fargo and check her account. And like, I don't know. And also what's going to happen? Like if you push back on it, it goes like, ah, you got me.

No, no. Ah, you caught me. Yeah. Also just, you don't encounter a lot of pathological liars in your day-to-day life. So you're not planning for like the worst case scenario where someone has created a false identity. Yeah.

And if you ever do meet one, most path lies i've ever met just really bad at it because it's the like the pathology and desire to lie and feel perceived like overtakes they're not smart they're not necessarily smart people you know a lot of like compulsive liars will lie and then conflict their own lie to the same person right and like if this guy this guy just seems to have his ducks in a row right that's like what my dad told me when he uh worked at nintendo um he was saying that uh well he was telling me lots of stories about the new pokemon games that are coming out but i can i can't tell you right now because it's like private i can imagine my dad here she runs hein, but only the mayonnaise division because he's white. He runs the, they did the ketchup mayonnaise combo that one time.

Do you remember that? Mayo Chup. Dude, that's you and me. We're a blend. Do they call it Mayo Chup? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Is that the tattoo?

What, she renews? There's also Cranch. Cranch is funny. It's like Crayon Ranch. Do they call it mayo chop? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Is that the tattoo word she renowns? There's also cranch. Cranch is funny. Is that crayon ranch? Oh, yeah. I think we talked about it last time. Seemingly ranch.

Seemingly ranch. So funny. What's cranch? Ketchup ranch. Oh. Cranch. You're a disappointed fan. Cranch is such a funny sound I would be

disappointed to get that you know like sometimes you if you get like it has been a big chicken and it's like

clearly I mean poor Shaq he got sniped on Shaq for a restaurant for a fast food restaurant big chicken

Shaq's chicken brand mid I feel like it used to be better they just have that like what is it the the they have like some shack sauce yeah and you're like well i'm not gonna know what this is until i get

it yeah or mac sauce even like at mcdonald's or something like that like oh okay good i guess you're gonna call this anything you want and call it like crunch and then i order it i'm like oh yeah it's like if every sauce was a portmanteau of its ingredients vin assault yeah oh it's fries sorry chips uh patissa oil fried what is this i don't want this french fries burger blues and it was giving me a lot of anxiety so i'm pregnant with a lot of anxiety that sucks um and if push if i'm gonna be 100 honest with y'all sorry i guess yeah one thing to acknowledge is like if as if you weren't already going to doubt yourself from the smoke screen of covid obscuring everything and this new relationship and stress, then like a lot of people doubt themselves and by medical professionals,

more often than not are told to doubt themselves when they are pregnant. Right. Like the self-esteem is reduced. You trust you experiencing stuff. I would guess like, as like so alien, like feelings you've never felt that I guess you could think your paranoia is like,

that's my hormones or something. And you're probably being told it. Like, I'm sure if she said it, probably like, he sure it's could be, it could be crazy woman stuff. Yeah.

Definitely not something I can speak to, but I'll give it a swing. Around June 5th, I looked at the house again on realtor.com. I don't know what made me do it other than. I don't know why you didn't before. I don't want to sound super spiritual. I know that people are like, you know, you may or may not believe in God, but I'm telling you, I believe with all my heart.

Probably the Holy Spirit was like, look at that house on realtor.com. So like look at that house on realtor.com so i looked at the house on realtor.com dude that was that was the holy spirit being like woman do it get a fucking move on he's like well i've got all these suspicions and i think it might be this and it hasn't closed yet and it's been six months and i's like okay let's get it going yeah i don't know it just googles for her it's uh oh right um in madam webb there is the fortune cookie moment oh god yeah i do what was i supposed to say i i don't know i unironically thought just by the size of the final word that it was supposed to say you are webb oh i thought it said you will die oh maybe you will web but uh but this one said visit realtor.com yeah what do you think it's sponsored sponsored uh sponsored fortune

cookies have to stop pepsi drink pepsi drink pepsi this was around juneth. It showed that the house was off the market. And I remember being like, okay, wait, what does that mean? What does that mean? Because ex-husband is telling me we're about to close on the house. We're about to close. It's our house. Because the house would go off the market. It could go off the market like it could go off the market while like things are in s like while

sort of contracts are being exchanged and stuff so you would have to look at like if you go on zillow and stuff you can look at the timeline of like the history of the house changing ownership and that might want to market and tour the house after the inspection and the dean escrow exactly yeah fees submitted and stuff we got furniture um he's also telling me that he's been in contact with the realtor his friend who was telling him you know this is what was happening next here's what i don't like that the realtor's his friend oh there was there was part of a story that I missed earlier, kind of breezed over, is that when they found this house, that realtor that they had brought on or hired or whatever,

things were not happening for a while. And she was just curious about it. So she called the realtor herself. And the realtor was like well no i like haven't heard from him in a while like i don't know what's going on whoa and then i thought you were gonna say she heard the phone ring in his bedroom yeah well no it was a real realtor that they were working with and then so she brought it up to him a real realtor yeah later that day she brought it up to him and she was like i called the realtor and he's like that guy's been dead for 20 years and he got mad that he called her he's like let me handle it because i'm talking

to my friend who's a realtor and i was gonna hire him so that he could get the the bonus or the right no i have another girlfriend in europe you're of my girlfriend in Canada. He's like, just let me handle all of this. It's almost admirable what true gaslighters tend to... Sometimes I just think to myself, why am I just even trying to do it? I just lie. I should just take over the world by lying. Half the time stories like this,

I've listened to one or two Wondery podcasts and the story is ticking along at a slightly predictable pace and he some suspicious behavior and his ex-wife wasn't possible to get in contact with and then she found the corpse which he signed and then with a slip of his dna and then she asked him about and he said nah and it worked like it's it's, it's, what do you mean? Like, no, it is my friend. I'm like, no, well, no, let me talk to him as well then. Do you own him? Is he you in a Groucho mask?

Like Groucho mask. A Groucho mask match, march? The Groucho march of masks? So the guy that we initially worked with apparently is completely out of the picture. But again, I was not heavily involved. So I'm just like, let me look at the house. I don't remember her name. I called her and I said, you know, my, excuse me. I said, my husband and I, even though I wasn't married, my husband and I were looking at this house at one, two, three main street, and we really wanted to tour it but now i'm showing it's off market is it not available or you know i i pulled that card and she was like oh no ma'am um the home

closed yesterday it closed june 4th again there are certain dates I just remember. And I said, oh, it closed June 4th. So it was, it's not like it was a house that was never on the market. It was on the market during that time. It's one of those pathological crumbs, you know? Yeah. So I'm like, okay. They were working with a very real, like real estate agent. It was a very real house for sale that they were like looking at.

Yeah. Didn't some shit like this happen to drew really um and she said yes ma'am she was like um my my sellers sold the house and i was like. Well, I said, my husband and I really want it. You know, we love the pictures of it. And we're getting ready to start a family. So I would have loved to have been able to, you know, have the opportunity to see it. I asked her something. I don't remember the specific question I asked her. And I don't even, I know why I asked the question because I was anticipating that my

boyfriend at the time was going to have some sort of excuse so I asked her something about the buyers and I remember and somehow again forgive me I don't remember the question I asked her but the answer was that it was an older white couple. Older white couple. So I get off the phone with her. I record an audio diary. And in the audio diary, I specifically say, okay, there is no house. He's going to have to get out of this

again I've listened to the audio diary in 2024 I literally said in that audio diary how was he going to get out of this lie do you think that the people driving on the highway with her know that they're that history is occurring

in the car next to them. You think of license plate, free cab whipping passengers. Oh man. Three teenage girls in the back, future spider women. They're currently no signs of power whatsoever. Future in the sequel that will never happen.

I mean, I wonder if like, honestly, she could have used the web. She's kind of developing something of a future. Yeah. I know her name's Risa Tisa, but i'm thinking she should be some sort of madam i'm just i how would he total videos did you say the word 50 so that's awesome i'm i cannot imagine how this gets

sustained do you know what i mean like because this is so explicitly obviously a lie right what's this cover gonna be he's no more than two more videos away from it being like very, very clear. And this is like a boulders gate story. He like, he's digging himself into these like grander and grander lines. And he has like people like, he's just so good at lying.

And he's like, has essentially this woman who like, you know, placed her faith in him and trust in him and like is like obviously like taking advantage of that and he just like goes so much further with it it's crazy it's interesting because at this point we know they get married eventually yeah because i mean i don't again it's i'm not trying to like ascribe any kind of blame whatsoever to her, but there is this like almost uncanny alien, like, oh my God, run.

No, I know COVID. I know whatever, kick him out. Like it's already at this point of, I know pregnant. I follow all of this, but we're already past the point of safety almost. I'm like approaching, this is potentially a dangerous person. But this is like the, well, yeah dangerous but this is like the well yeah but this is how the manipulation works right because like because like we're hearing her having processed all of this but like when she's in the thick of it i'm sure that there's like a lot of manipulation that goes by and she's also in a situation where she isn't able to confide fully in the people around her she's being like very consciously obtuse with yeah because it's like

all i don't know if that's all premeditated but like if you know that you're dating somebody who's got you know this religious background and they might be risking potentially um ostracizing themselves from their family and close ones or loved ones if they get deeper in this relationship i'll be like god forbid like you get pregnant now she's like out on a limb with like very limited people that she can like trust and talk to in her community and i feel like that's how people that's how manipulators work oh yeah that's how you get into a rhythm and then you kind of redefine what your life yeah it's like actual gaslighting not like the way that we use it currently yeah well not just you've like

created a you've created a reality and you've created like a loop in your life like a rhythm like this the way her life now works the way they you know she goes to work she gets home but this time he's doing this i cook meals on mondays you cook them on tuesdays hey this is what we do this is what we watch when we relax this is our plans we make for the future can you drive i'm not feeling a little queasy today all of that is like uh it's like people that get married in high school and have like a gambler's fallacy like i can't break up now i've been together 10 years what i'm gonna waste those 10 years and And that's by design. I mean, that's why you hook them in with something as appealing or as reliable as buying a house. And then by the time it's revealed that you can't buy the house, you've already. Yeah.

And I was trying to think of ways on how he's going to do it. And something said to me, because I say it on the audio diary, I said, he's going to say it's a bad deal. And he's going to say he wants to pull out. Y'all keep in mind, I am pregnant. So, I had a decision to make. As ugly as this decision was, I made the decision, you're about to have a baby with this man. He's paying all the household bills. Let him get out of the lie.

And that's what I did. I purposely made the decision. That I knew he was going to come back. And I knew he was going to give me some bullshit. On why he couldn't buy the house because he didn't know that I knew that house is already sold. I was curious about the financial element. The house is already sold.

There was a tiny little part of me where I was going to be like, is he paying? Because if he's lying about this, not only is he a VP, but does he make any money at all? Like, what's the lie here? But if he's covering all the household bills, then at least either there's some income or he stole some money at some point. She saw him buy those appliances. I mean, with that clarifying point, that pretty much answers all of our questions in one way, which is like, hey, you know, financial independence is the number one controlling tool of any relationship, regardless of type.

You live with a sibling and it'd be like the controlling factor you have over somebody. Yeah. That's the thing. You can just have a roommate that is, hey, you don't want to test the waters because if they move out and you can't find a sublease in time,

you're screwed, you know. That's fine. It's a sticky wicket. Because most women in their right mind would have been like, I'm out. And I didn't. So, sure enough, he came home. He didn't really say anything that day.

The next day I asked him about the house. And he said, my friend, the realtor, he was like, I'm talking to him because something's going on with the interest rate. And when he said that, I... See, wait, wait. It's the computer. The doors are all up there wrong. Also, dude, it's 2020 interest rates are like at an all-time low yeah this is incredible time yeah this movie that's what you mean just too low yeah brother you gotta get in there it's too good a time it's like three percent or less

felt so much relief because i knew that i had been prepared for he's going to give you some bullshit. So when he said there's something with the interest rate, I said, you know what, if the interest, this is literally what I said, y'all, if the interest rate isn't good, then we shouldn't move there. We should probably let this house go. We should cancel whatever furniture we ordered or, you know, appliances. And let's just look for another house. I said, I would like to be moved before the end of the year. I said, I really don't want to be nine months pregnant moving into a house. I would like to be done with this before then. And he was, he, the way I said it was so calm and he was like, okay, he was like, I'm gonna call the friend, the realtor and tell

him I'm backing out of the house and I'm gonna see if I can get my earnest money back. And I remember looking at him, I was standing in the the kitchen so she planted a trap because she knew that the house was already off the market and sold to this older white family so she was creating a situation where he has to like sort of make up a new lie

and she's got that metadata on that audio recording you know it's kind of like sending an email to yourself with a movie idea. Speaking of, this is getting optioned within the month. Please let her make a big bag off of this.

At the very least, Wander is going to option it for us. Yeah. I watched a short interview of her where she said that she only, at the end of last week, had been able to join the creator fund. But then they banned her from the creator fund for re-uploading videos.

That's crazy. So she's not making anything off of this so far. That pisses me off. That's such bullshit. For expediency's sake, can you spoil some stuff for us does she have the baby um so she does not have the baby uh there's a complication with her pregnancy because of health stuff um and there's some like shitty things that happen like during that process where he's like not there for her and um which like really upsets her obviously yeah there are several more houses that he's trying to buy oh that's crazy oh yeah

i assume at that whatever point that happens says the this loop is continuing right yeah always more house he he claims that he's gonna get a company car. So they go and shop around for a bunch of Land Rovers. He claims that he's going to buy her a new BMW. That's all on credit. So they shop around, but they never get the cars. Yeah. There's always reasons why they can't get the cars. How many times does he think that he can sort of promise something

and then not be able to deliver? The conclusion is that he's the sort of promise something and then not be able to deliver like like as the the conclusion is that he's the most unlucky man alive i had um somebody once explained to me uh i think it was a like they were like a mental health counselor they weren't specifically a psychiatrist but they worked with a lot of uh people that were self-awarely partly some people with borderline but this was also like 15 years ago or something and the language i think was still in the uk at least was still like commonly like narcissism that was like often the terminology used and pathological lying was like a subsexual symptom of that and the way that somebody once described it to me in front of the family is that they said it was like literally like an addiction where they are imbibing this feeling of lying of status of the power they get out of it.

And it just the desperation to have it, the desire for it, like supersedes even one hour of pre-planning like i want i want my fix now i want to say i'm working on a new house i want to whatever their motivation is say it looks you know to look impressive let's just say to feel powerful i want that feeling today end of day wednesday and on friday friday doesn't even exist i get it today i feel good till tomorrow morning i get it again good till the next morning and like that i mean i guess if that's the case then yeah you because i feel like anybody else i'd just be worried if for some reason i had to make all these elaborate lies i would be awake every single night like did i conflict with the different one i told am i when's this all going to explode? But if you just,

I don't know if it makes you feel really good, I guess. Um, she's got her cash app here. I hope, you know, uh, I think we can afford to send her a little bit,

especially for like watching these videos on the podcast. Um, but I also, if anyone wants to help her out, especially if she's not getting like if she's not getting creator fund, not even, the creator fund isn't even like, doesn't even pay you a good

rate. What are they talking about re-upload, I mean presumably why would, I mean maybe she did I just, do we know why she would have to? They have some sort of policy about Because they don't want you to juice the views of popular TikToks Why do we know why she would have to do that like she might have had a video taken down or something

like there are actually a couple because part three isn't even on here anymore yeah and so if she uploads re-upload something because it ran because tiktok has a fucking minefield of just various things that you could accidentally trip over yeah then then you might re-upload something with that missing thing much like we do on youtube when something gets flagged but tiktok doesn't have such a system i mean they did have that um little little warning at the bottom of all of those for the driving ones yeah maybe if there was like a more egregious moment where she looks at for too long or she took a sharp turn yeah literally like really the rest of it is just her explaining all of these elaborate lies that he got into and she kind of like is like

in hindsight like i believe that he just kind of like got off on like promising her things that she could never have and seeing her excitement and then just like like that's so like seeing her momentary excitement only to disappoint her countless like time and time again yeah exactly literally i mean we we've kind of you know joked about it but it is i my dad works nintendo it is like i want to feel good during this recess and i'm my brain has not developed to the point where i understand that like something worse will happen later. It's like that experiment where they leave a candy on the table with a kid and they're like, we're going to leave the room.

Right. Ten minutes. If you don't eat it, you get two. It's like a minute is a year. Right. We'll even be alive in a minute. Cash App is for audio listeners. Dollar.

Dollar sign. Just because that's how Cash App works. Oh, yeah. So dollar sign, R-E-E-S-A-M-T-E-E-S-A. Risa M-T-S-A. I'm sending her stuff right now. Hopefully, like a subsect of NPR options, a project with them, and then Lifetime puts a project together

and she gets the rides. Do you remember there was like a viral twitter thread about these um strippers who drove to florida and it's this one woman being like i i'm telling my story about how my friend and coworker was like, let's drive to Florida and we'll make a bunch of money and then drive back. And then all this crazy stuff happened. Didn't that get, that got turned into a movie. And it got turned into a movie. It's called Sola, I think.

Yeah, I saw it. It's good. And it's like really interesting because, you know, they were able to verify like this is actually her story, you know, and we can license it from her. Yeah. So I just feel like these like very interesting stories that are getting put on social media, you know, it's fodder for other forms of. Yeah. Just I hope the original creators get paid and don't just get sort of the short end of the stick and that yeah i mean the shitty thing is that even if she and i do think

this is like someone is reaching out there's absolutely no way everything i know about i can i i know the type of voice that people in partnerships are making when they get excited about this shit kind of predatory taste of their mouth. Salivating. There is no way no one's reaching out. My fear would be that without any kind of representation, I don't think she will know what she should get. Like the,

cause they're going to say like, we'll give you $50,000 for your story. Right. And then, you know, and then just not having the industry is so opaque. $50,000 for your story. Right. And then, you know. And then just not having, the industry is so opaque, you don't know what like she could negotiate for. It's the same in like a lot of creator spaces

where you just, you have like very basic like CPM rules of thumb in terms of what you should earn for like a brand deal. But there hasn't been like a sort of transparency project in a long time trying to like sort of help out up and coming creators because like I get a lot of, you know, smaller creators who like reach out to me or I've been, you know, lucky to have been reached out to by a number of smaller creators who have since become larger creators who I've been able to like, sort of give as much advice and stuff as I can. But there's no way of like turning that into a system. And a lot of the time. And there's a lot of time that we go into that.

The questions are like, man, have very good management. A lot of time with partnership stuff, especially on like the, because it should be a seller's market right like you are the you are the billboard they want to find you you're the times where screen but so as long as there is a market for advertising but they people looking for projects like this and some weird, like deliberately obscure corporation there. The reason they keep them obscure is so that they seem like this big, scary and like genius, intimidating monolith. And they know what's right for you.

$50,000 is exactly the money I should take. Cause that's what they said. I mean, what am I going to do? Say more than that, which somebody that's like a said. I mean, what am I going to do? Say more than that? Which somebody that's like an experienced manager, agent, or partnerships person is going to be able to go, yeah. Because I know the doctor death lady. She's got a hell of a lot more than that.

Also, I think it's really hard. You know, you have like one viral thing. It's really hard to transition that into an ongoing account where you're producing new content that people want to watch. Like I think most people it's like they have one viral thing and then they're like, what? I can't do this again. That was a true story. Yeah, exactly. How do I transition this to something else I do want to do.

And I don't know what the legality is of like i'm pretty sure like npr can just do an investigatory season of podcast make a billion off it and then she doesn't have to be well npr doesn't really make any money oh uh the fuck am i thinking of uh wondering on npr yeah like they can just stack it with ads and put out a season of a show a la cereal make a bag right cost 10 grand to make the show yeah it's it's reporting so it's not right right that's tricky yeah so i'm hoping hoping she sees her bag but yeah cash out cash out bread and discrepy too in the doobly-doo in the dooblyly-doo. Remember that when it used to be like to the side or something? It's like always like it was over here, down here, up here, up here.

We're so young. All right. Are we? This is a long episode. Yeah. True. I know we've got like a bonus in there too, but it's long. That is all for today. Just kidding we're gonna head over to

idiots we're gonna head on over to patreon.com slash sad boys and have uh our patreon exclusive podcast sad boys nights we're gonna talk about uh finishing boulders gate and there's gonna be a lot of spoilers and if you want to head on over there pay for five five dollars i'm my brain's falling apart my brain's falling apart brain's falling apart it's the web five dollars a month will get you everything

god knows how many episodes of sad boys nights at this point there's a lot too many oh I can confirm for you right now that it's

52 52 that's as many a year's worth that's one for every week okay yeah 52 additional episodes of sad boys just over a year.

Yeah, and you can just get it and quit it if you want. No pressure. That's okay. Go for it. Go on, eat them up. Just make sure you're only using your discretionary entertainment spending. This is not a handout. This is an exchange of value.

Eat up the pod. Bounce if you gotta all right we in every episode of sad boys with a particular phrase we love you and we're sorry just finished boulders gate no oh my god really yeah i finished it on tactician six one by the way um no big deal uh no big deal honor road honor mode next uh no uh but yeah i just finished it and uh it's fun i i think my playthrough was like 110 hours which you know i felt like i saw most of the stuff i wanted to see Gucci girl, Gucci girl, how you doing? How you moving, girl? Moving, girl, how you delicate? That future girl, future girl, yeah, we on now. Take my money, go away, all you wanted.

Girl, you're too rich for me.