Sad Boyz - Why Did "RaptureTok" Happen?

Episode Date: September 27, 2025

Jarvis and Jordan discuss RaptureTok, the teaser for the new season of 9-1-1, and Jarvis's upcoming trip to MagicCon Atlanta. Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://www.expressvpn.com/sadboyz. That’s https://www.expressvpn.com/sadboyz to find out how you can get up to 4 extra months. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Sad Boyz Nightz #132⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠100+ bonus episodes on Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠✨find us everywhere✨⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00:00 Welcome To Sad Boyz! 00:04:58 Advice is tricky 00:15:17 Hyperfocus Alley 00:19:01 Sponsored By ExpressVPN 00:20:56 Fantasy Football 00:28:44 Runescape 00:29:38 MagicCon Atlanta 00:33:10 Hair & Balding 00:41:19 9-1-1 Season Teaser 00:56:37 RaptureTok 01:41:18 The Pledge of Allegiance 01:43:12 Sad Boyz Nightz 132 🎬 CREW 🎬 Hosted by Jarvis Johnson and Jordan Adika Produced & Edited by Jacob Skoda Produced by Anastasia Vigo Thumbnail design by @yungmcskrt Outro music by @prod.typhoon & @ysoblank Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Sad Boys, a podcast about feelings and other things also. I'm Jarvis. Jordan, the hell is just going on. What up? We hang up before the show. I'll be honest. We chat and we hang out, but less today than usual. True.

Well, I started late. Well, I was a late Andy also. And I was a late Sandy. Yeah, you were Sandy Cheeks late-wise. I was Sandy Cheeks and I can't breathe. I can't breathe this water. I'm a squirrel. Why she lived down there?

Why is she in an astronaut costume? I remember there was an introductory episode for Sandy Cheeks, but does she, is she, like, I always assumed she was doing work. Right. Like, she's a contractor or something. Do you think that she's in an astronaut costume, astronaut uniform? They're not doing it for, like, aesthetics. Yeah. Do you think she's in that as a reference to the fact that astronauts train for space, like, in pools?

Like underwater? You know, I, first thing I say is I've never thought about it whatsoever. The second thing I say is I know that for sure. Yeah, absolutely. I'll say that with, now that's being the risk guard, everyone. If you've ever wanted to become more confident or seem more self-assured, lie constantly. Oh, my God. Just say that you know something.

Dressing for the job you want is lying essentially. Right. Trick people, deceive people. Remember that you are the protagonist and everybody else is an NPC. Right. Well, that's why I-trick people. Trick people. And that's why I came to work today in my Bugatti.

Yeah, that's true. What color is yours? We're actually in, we're kind of merched up today. We're merged up. I kind of feel a psychic link between us whenever I put on a merch shirt. I feel like you are also, what do you do? I'm wearing, um, okay. Do we have underwear merch?

I can't reveal them, but, um, I'm wearing Saboy's sweatpants under these pants. Oh, that's crazy. Because I'm a Chile, Andy, you know that. Right, you are. And you're rocking. Oh, and we have a lined, wait, are those your merch pants? Uh, I, maybe. Yeah.

This is. Oh, my goodness. These are just like mostly generic sweatpants. None of these are for sale, so it's not an actual. Oh, wait, these, these, yeah, none of it's for sale. I hate selling things. Um, yo, what up, gang. Do I fucking stink?

I didn't put on deodorant this morning. I just remembered. Okay. Can everyone smell me? Bad sense of smell on my part, but I, I am, I suppose I'm also experienced with your smell probably more than most. And I don't know, like, and that makes sense, but that's a strange sentence to cope with. No, I mean, because I'm like sniffing you a lot.

Right, right, right. It's not weird. It's like my dog. Yeah, like when I turn, like, Dipper's always sniffing me. But sometimes if I haven't seen you in a while and you turn up, I'm like, I don't recognize this person. And then I get your sat and go like, oh, right, my tail starts going. Whenever someone walks into a room, you do close your eyes and you go, wait, no, I got this. When you came back from the military and you guys filmed me seeing you for the first time, I'm like, tail is going.

Yeah. Your tape, you're what? I don't smell a thing. Yeah, sort of, not me. You, uh, you don't find it me, I think. Thanks. It's, are you. Do you consider yourself a stinker, naturally?

To myself, there's got to be a scientific explanation. And are there any olfactory heads in the comments who can explain why I stink to me? Shout out to the nosy pockets. Shout out to Dr. Ali Lukes that like smell lady on Twitter who like got her PhD and posted about it, like posted her PhD thesis or something. and people were like, this is pointless or something. Why are you getting your PhD in this? And then she actually is cool, I think. How do you end up going nose mode on that of all the things to choose?

I love, well, it's cool. That's, everyone's got a fun origin story with that. How do you, like, how did you first go nose mode? How did you decide to do podcasting? I decided to be the funniest guy on earth kind of thing. Also, like, my dad was a podcaster, actually. And so, like, when I was young, I used to look up at him, shooting the shit with his butt. I can't see his eyes past the microphone.

Papa, please. I just remember, yeah, I was basically raised by an XLR cable. That's like the raise the way that we see Jacob slightly over the monitor. Right. Papa, please. He was always behind the monitor, so eye contact is really important to me. Unfortunately, he dropped, one of the XLR cables fell into an suspiciously placed pool of water, and he was electrocated to death.

And now the way that I chase his memory is by becoming, I want one more download than him. Right. And I'll see him in heaven. One more download. Yeah, you count. You have like a. you have a chalkboard and every morning you like I'll be their dad I wonder it's funny to imagine that we only see the top half of Jacob's face so we don't recognize the bottom half like when someone shaves their mustache a baby cries yeah yeah that's all my dad that's on my dad um you are a very

I tell you you you are an expressive eyebrow with her oh it's oh that was that was like a 2003 comic like Carlos Mincea, mind of Mincea. Arms crossed on the cover. Problem, what the hell is, how are you? I am. You seem well. You know, that's how we often present. I am okay.

I've been super fatigued again. And if I had to diagnose myself, it would be that I'm not doing any physical activity and I'm just like not doing anything because I'm tired. But I would probably feel better. if I actually physically moved my body. But what we need to do is go to a doctor and then like spent a lot of time there so they can tell us kind of the same thing. In that, but that's scary.

Yeah, that's when it's real and true and I have to do something. Yeah, I did also the this week my lower back started hurting again, which which doesn't make any sense because I haven't done anything. I know it's like bad, uh, writing. Yeah. It's like This is not an inspired choice It's an unmotivated event

Goku's heart disease Yeah What do you just contract it in the future What do you even get it from? Sometimes it does feel a little hack Where it's like Life is Life's ticking along

And then it's like Ooh Oh fuck wait We're getting older What's canon? What can we have I don't know A little A dental problem of something

Yeah How about oh I have one of those too It's like that especially That does me in That really gets to my That gets my goat I do the floss I am the goat

Yeah, it's annoying But yeah I don't even Don't even get me started on just the random problems that occur And I think that it's nice to acknowledge them Even if you don't have a plan on solving them I think that's one of the Deceptively dangerous stuff about like

Advice, air quotes in general Where like if you ask somebody for guidance Or their thoughts on something The natural instinct I feel for everyone is to like relate it back to their own experience because that's the first step of empathy right as you say me too but then when it's overly specific or hyperspecific it then stops being useful again because someone's giving you an example from their own life for no reason right whereas i and i'm saying this is a criticism uh of myself because lately i found myself like somebody will ask specifically for like prescriptive advice like what is the thing I should do in this situation. Yeah. And I have become too self-conscious about relating to it actively.

But I think that's what you're supposed to do. Because, like, I guess even if they're asking for specific advice, you, like, I feel like it is more constructive to share your own experience because you don't know how the other person is going to, like, if you just give someone the answer without showing your work, that's kind of how I feel like when it's obviously there's a world in which it's like how can I center myself in the situation but that's not what this is it's more saying hey when I was in a similar situation here's how I interpreted here's how I reacted and then you can take from that what you will or you can even conclude it with so I'd say this bit of advice but now you have you have the

work shown and you can draw your own conclusions do your own research and if the work isn't applicable then hey let me know exactly right it's it's just a thin line between that like uh maybe i'm overly self-conscious i'm always overly self-conscious about um giving like platitudes yes no you've always you've always hated platitudes i think um i like the sentiment of it and i it's fine to receive i feel bad giving them because i i don't know maybe it's just like i'd never show what's like a cultural difference versus what's just like uh the way i was raised specifically right you're you're you say it's like they always said back home you've got two fish in a barrel so yeah find a squirrel find the squirrel in the barrel in the barrel with the

fish that is sometimes um a lot of like british allegory is phrasing and then now thinking back to I'm like I'll be a monkey's uncle you'll be a monkeys that's the dog's bollocks yeah that's good why do I think that makes sense and we've always had um adversarial uh Goku and Vegeta-esque views on um on platitudes but I'm the mass murderer one where I stand I'm the guy that blew up a planet if I had to think between when but here's how I think about platitudes you've got to use platitudes to reach latitudes you know what I'm saying huh I just made that one up it's better than dogs bollocks um but every set of words can be empty any set of words can be empty. How are you doing good? That's empty. Why do we do it? Well, Norm's comfort

softening. More affectionate version of hello goodbye. Exactly, exactly. Plattitudes are not empty inherently. I believe they come from collective experience and wisdom. And the problem is that when you synthesize that down to like a, it's like a, like a rock that's been polished by the sands of time, you know? It's a pearl. And it's a beautiful, and it's a beautiful whale named Pearl. And, uh,

from SpongeBob, sorry, uh, she's a Pearl, right? She's a whale. And she's a pearl and something. Um, it has a lot of luster, keeping with the Pearl thing.

But we have these platitudes for a reason and you can mean them or you can not mean them. And I think that like a time. heals all wounds you know it's like okay it's like a shortcut to say you're going to get through this you're going to add it into it's not you're not just speaking

an NPC like dialogue options yes um I guess it's reading the circumstance that uh yeah especially with like you know people always I feel like talk about like these planet shoots especially with grief and I would go so far as to say that grief is the one where it applies the best yeah Because it's honestly, I think, more insulting to give pragmatic advice about grief. It's a little silly.

I also am mixing up what a platitude is versus just like a saying. Because I was going to give an example. I was going to give an example of something that would annoy me is if I was like, I really don't want to do this errand today. And then if someone said, ain't nothing to do it but to do it. I'd be like, hey, fuck you, actually. It's kind of that. That's like the light version.

I'll say here's something that I think. would annoy you. Yes. And I know that it annoys me. And I think it comes from the same place. And it's something we really talked about the last couple of weeks. Maybe it's just front of mind. Is a platitude or sometimes just unsolicited advice.

But some kind of like authoritative statement about that tells you where, how to describe it? where they are telling you where you are in the process. Best example I can think of is something like, well, honestly, that's just what depression is like. Or like, sometimes you just got to sit with anxiety. And there's a little part of me whenever something about that in particular comes up or I'm like, I'm an Olympian at this. Yeah.

I appreciate what you're saying. But it's kind of like to give it a pearl style. analogy, I guess, would be me saying, man, I miss my shiny pearl that I dropped and it fell down a sewer grade. Right. And they say like, well, I've got this. And they got out like a penny from 2000 and like 24. Oh, hell yeah.

I'm like, well, that's new. This is the same. It doesn't cover it. And I love it. And I love you. And they're like, but like imagine you lost this. That would rather that. That's just not even close to the thing.

Right. And then that is like, that's one of those platitudes. It makes you feel alien because by virtue, like a saying like that, you can't push back on it. It's sometimes like somebody resigning to authority a little without taking, without showing the work, if you will. It is the kind of like, I like a platitude that's uncouched in anything and is just like a, like a, like a sorry. to hear that or that fucking sucks or something like that is so egoless

that I kind of I think that's really magical and established and I like that what you're saying about how it's like yeah it's thousands of years of like everybody coming together and saying like he is basically a little poetic line you can say that means a thousand things

like I'm sorry to hear that doesn't mean like fucking stop telling me I wish I hadn't heard that like when you say I'm sorry to hear that or if someone says some bad news and you go, I'm so sorry. And they say, well, you didn't do it. Jill. Okay.

I mean, yeah, okay. But a lot of these, a lot of this comes down to context clues. A lot of it comes down to reading nuance and that's not easy for everyone. And isn't their obligation. And you also just have to meet people where they are. Different people like to communicate in different ways. and the, like, part of growing and developing a relationship with someone is learning how they like to be communicated with, knowing that this type of communication may be less effective than that type of communication. And what the shorthand is, almost like a dialect, right?

Like, in some languages or dialects, I'm sure, I'm sorry to hear that would be practical. It wouldn't be the, like, like, analogous version. It would be literally like, oh, damn, you found out I did that. Yeah, I'm sorry to. I'm trying to think of when you would literally say, I'm sorry to hear that. Like when you're listening to a bad song. But it's your fault.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe that's part of it. Maybe it is like a pull yourself up by your bootstraps thing where that's impossible so it can only mean that. You got any hyperfocuses right now, hyperfocus moment? What if that was a segment?

That's a really good idea for a seg. I think we may have had this idea before in the past. Now and then we do just fall into kind of a small simmering in the background thing that might just be for the for the week you know yeah i i even feel like it's possible that we pitch this as a segment in like 2018 or something and then like and then just like like everything it just like was lost um i would say it feels almost like cheating when i say i want to sleep with other women but it also feels like cheating when i say i am having enough but it also four hours It also feels like cheating when I say, I'm using a game shark.

It feels like cheating for a hyperfocus answer when I say that it's like a video game because video games are just kind of historically something I'm always kind of looking around in. Oh, I don't know. I've been very into gaming in a way that I feel like as more kid, like teen era me. The phrase I've been very into gaming is very, is very, kid like. Yeah, don't click that and then ruin my life by playing it in front of people. It's extremely embarrassing I want that as like a background to

like a fan cam of a Fortnite trick shot compilation. Me turning into one of the characters with a little pickax. I'm kind of hyper-focused about gaming and then it's like a poor CG render of me hitting the gritty. Yeah. No, dancing like the Alabama Biel baby. Remember him? But like I've been

like I was playing the Indiana Jones game from early this year having a grand old time, a friendly gentleman into cyberpunk now that the game works having a grand old time and I don't know there's been something maybe it's just I'm still riding high on the Not the game works, no man's guy maybe

I would know I was gonna say that Too ethereal Too much time with my own thoughts I know what you mean yeah but continue Try to get stimmed Yeah I'm getting stimed chum right

Pre-Pream game Cyperfunk 27 Preem Chum Mo Mo Okay. If you've got cyber psychosis, maybe, forget it.

But I don't, like, the last time I remember being as into, like, oh, I want to try out a new game. And every new game is, like, magical is when I was, like, 16. And I don't know, for, I've a little bit, maybe this compromises the idea for the segment. I've lost my capacity for hyperfocus a little bit. I can't. Segment canceled. RIP It lived from two minutes ago to just now

In the arms of an angel A compilation of it's just what I said You're like I kind of feel like a kid Playing games But I For whatever reason this kind of caught me back in again And then it segues into Pating figurines for the first time in a little while

And then like Organizing Magic Cards for the first time for the first time in a little while and I do think there's like a cascading effect to just a little bit of weightless fun rolling down but I'm actively been trying

lately to get like locked in like really like fucking playing games you're throwing away the key you're stuck in here with me you're so locked in yeah you're closing the vault door and I do I am sometimes envious of you because you have you do have that like

that you have that limit response to hyperfocus it's almost like i know you're not choosing what to be hyperfocused on that's the hard this episode is sponsored by express vpn p ov you you're you're you basically and you're at a you're at a coffee shop you're ordering your flapper frapper lapper pumpkin spice latte and you're running to the the little gentleman's room as i often do you're going potty mode and you leave your laptop on the coffee table nothing could ever go wrong i will go to the bathroom and I will leave my laptop open and unattended. That sounds exactly like not using a VPN.

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E-X-P-R-E-S-V-P-N dot com slash sad boys To find out how you can get an extra four months free ExpressVPN.com slash sad boys It is a it is a like frontal lobe portion of your brain Like a frunk Like you open it up and you put something in there and then close it again Because I know what you're on right Yeah well okay

So first I feel like a prisoner sometimes to my own hyper-focus, because it results in a lot of half-finished projects. Like, half the reason I'm, there's so much shit around the office right now is because of, like, half-finished organization projects. And it's with a great power kind of thing. Yeah. However, my, my new, there's one that's like not a hyper-focus, but more like a habit-focused. There's three, really.

There's fantasy football. which your opponent, Michaela, last week, didn't tell you that your kicker got cut from his football team and so you're back to not having a kicker. I'll do touchdowns then. Yeah. That's the thing is I'm not, the kicking, frankly, seems like cheating.

You can't see the football or it isn't. So now it's, you shouldn't be touched with your boat. Fuck, really? Yeah. Though he was just signed to another team's practice squad, but he has to win the competition in practice to become the starter. An underdog story starts from the potter bro. Right, that's true.

Angels in the outfield, right? They had to die to be in the movie. I mean, he's been in the league for a minute. And I think he is good at kicking, but that job's very unforgiving. You miss a kick. You got to be good at kicking to get onto the practice squad, okay? The guy's on his way up again. I do like kicker is one of the only roles in professional sports, I feel.

where people kind of just come out of nowhere to do them. Like one of the NFL kickers was like a former software engineer slash soccer player. And then like crazy foot. Yeah, just like one big foot. And they were like, you got to get you. Like a shot butter with a really strong right out. There's actually a story of a kicker who lost his toes or had some sort of deformity or some sort of birth defect or something. Oh, not from the, oh, okay.

Where they had a special boot made. but the boot was kind of shaped like a hammer so imagine like a flat like imagine a like how the the mjolnir has a flat oh yeah side imagine if that was your your foot was mjolnir and so then he could kick like crazy and they actually made a rule that you can't like i think if you have a prosthetic or something or if you have basically whatever you kick with has to have the same form as like a regular foot dude um dude this is what i'm saying chum the uh Just because Chume had Primo Chrome installed. You know what I'm saying? They think he's going to become a cyber psycho. What does that mean? I'm a freaking cyber psycho. I'm a freaking cyber psycho.

Me personally, I'm an edge runner, but I get the Primo Chrome mindset. Doom. Two people listening and loving this. These aren't slurs, I hope. So that's, that's, so fantasy football is one. I'm in three leagues now. I got, I got Russell and my older roommates, Kyle and Nick. Jamie and Jessica, the twins, and Kyle's little brother, Reese, we're all in a, I'm like trying

to think now if I forgot anybody, it's just eight of us. I don't know if I mentioned eight people. Oh, Katie, of course. Russell's, my friend Katie, who is also married to Russell, and Kyle and Jamie are married. So it's a couple of married couples and wah. But anyway, I'm in a third fantasy football league now. We started this one week three. So that's been fun. And new league per week. new league per week that's like up until week 17 i'm starting new league per week um that of course we're at our kicker free league that we've all agreed to do and everyone's gonna take that kicker out there is a funny thing that some people do with their their league configurations where there's certain rare events that can happen because you can fiddle with um

the points for certain events happening and for certain positions to do stuff so like um a quarterback can get a tackle but it's like not a thing that normally happens nor it's not a thing that like it's like a rare enough event but you can get points for it in fantasy and some people have are in leagues where you get a hundred points for your quarterback getting a getting a tackle which would more or less mean that you just straight up win if it happens but maybe what what about if the general manager is the kicker you should get you should start a league where if your kicker gets cut you in it's like a super niche magic guy yeah yeah yeah under very specific right alternate wing condition um the

fuck i need a kick of my team the second thing it's they're easy to pick up and they're usually like they usually stick around well they don't but that it should be fine um dude i'm low on cash man so there's that and we've been meeting on sundays uh either at mine or at jacobs and watching games and that's been a good time that's been fun right jacob it's been fun yeah i've been waiting up so late. I finally beat it today. You beat football? I defeated, I totally don't need a kicker or anything. Right. I've been on a higher dose

of like the sleep men that I take and I have, I've just been sitting there like 12 hours, no matter what, and I've missed all the football sessions together. I'm thinking I... 17 weeks, baby. If I had come along prior, I would have found out about this damn kicker. Well, so that's the thing is that, like, we communicate so much that I don't want to

like, I don't want to inundate you a thing. and this is the type of thing where by the time I found out it was too late there's nothing to be done I mean it's difficult news to hear you know but you got to pick up a kicker before tomorrow I don't because the first game well I mean you don't have to well I mean you don't have to also thing is like oh why why's the dog on your basketball team it is funny it is kind of funny to have a segment where I tell you what's happening to your fantasy team another thing you should know is that Michael Pennix Jr. is had a very bad performance performance last week, and he may not start this next game.

What if we would have pivot the role that he plays to kind of more of a kicking-focused position? Okay. It's a separate role. Oh, I was saying that kicking is, like, the only role in the sport where, like, you can kind of find, you can't find someone off the street, but, like, there's like a lot of random soccer players, a lot of, like, I was watching college on Saturday, college football, and there's a kicker who was, um, it was his first American.

football game like that he was kicking at because the technique isn't unique to American football I don't think we need them I think we can swag it out I think I can I mean you can you just score touchdowns the touchdown that's the what can I throw the ball through the big thing no come on like for everybody from the other side of the field like I mean you can it's crazy it counts as an incomplete pass but you can do it I you have to it's like catching the golden snitch but yeah that's a bad design by the way by the way not a good game yeah that is an insane

like give it a give it two seconds of additional thought like double jeopardy also isn't there in goblet of fire doesn't victor crumb like get the snitch isn't there one game where like the seeker got the snitch and it ended the game but they were actually behind by so much that they lost and he should have just waited to like don't end the game your team's going to lose.

Yeah, it's not actually. I would go so far as to say it's a bad rule to have in the game. Especially if the game just ends early. They get it right away and you have to go home on your little broom. But yeah, I'll just tell you what's happening on your team. And then my minor, it's more of a habit that I'm back into is I'm AFKing and RuneScape again. I've gotten a bunch of woodcutting levels. I just got the beaver pet for any OSRS heads out there,

which is like really rare to get a skilling pet. I think it's a very... At only 87 woodcutting, so... I think it's a very healthy type of second screen experience. Yeah. Because it is active. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, even if...

I think it is comparable to painting mini fix. Sure. You know, I don't think there's anything less. It's, well, the way I... Like, you've got so many plug-ins these days that, like, for certain activities, like, I haven't really done anything other than, like, AFK, because I'm, like, trying to get back into it. but I need to like in order to get my hyper focus to latch on I have to something has to happen like I'm about to go to magic con which is the last thing I'm going to talk about but when I come back for magic con I'll be so magic pill that I might be more in the in the magic mode I've been playing a lot more magic again lately and magic con is this week I'll be doing an event a chaos draft celebrity chaos draft on Saturday or actually pack it up live Ben Bateman's got this new um YouTube series

I'm on episode one on YouTube. You could check that out. But I got invited by a different friend to a rotisserie draft, which is like a really hard format to pull off. You need like a lot of technology. So this guy, Dave, who works at Riot, he made this web app where rotissory draft is 12 sets picked randomly. And then you do a face-up fantasy football style draft of cards in that pool. eight players per pod and you're like building a deck um as you go on the fly problem is i don't know most of these 12 sets there's 2 500 cards in the available card pool so i've been really in the tank

this week like researching it's an objective this started off as a uh me talking about my magic the gathering hyper focus on the main show but we just kept talking about magic and i was like all right let's just make this a magic moment yeah it's been it's been super fun to just theorize and i get another benefit which is I get to learn about all these old magic cards that that like I want to in my mind I want to be mega mind I want to know like the history of all of the interesting things that have happened in this game and this is a fun way of me you need just like a fraction of motivation to do it it's always interest but like this is like there's a great it's like the reason I don't study Japanese anymore when am I going to use it and you you also know you'll never be as

fluent as a native Japanese speaker right and I I'm not going to move there. But if you do end up with like a, well, I'm taking a three-month trip, it's like, okay, well, now I'll learn what is about a three-month trip worth of difference. And that's fun. And every time I do go to Japan, I do brush up on the basics because I'm not going to be fluent, but I can help grease the wheels in my communication as I'm there. You know, if I've got to go there, I'd kind of be, speak with all the colors of the wind type thing.

No study required, but they probably acknowledge me as kind of. Yeah, you roll your eyes at the back of your head and practice. verbal communication, where you just upload your raw thoughts into their mind. It's primarily martial arts-based communication. I'll be a lot of kicking. Yeah. My own martial art that I developed called George Kundo. Oh, that reminds me.

Speaking of magic cards, I was funny enough, like, researching for this chaos draft, and there's a few cards that have funny names. So when everybody in my pod was, like, fighting over resources for some of these cards, I was like, guys, this is looking like a, and then. And there's a card called Contested War Zone, and I was like, all right, I'm saving this for later. But another card I found was called Dragon Style Twins. Yes, sir. And I sent that to you.

And then dual wielding swords like we do off outside of the show. Oh my God. A dragon. I was going through my bulk boxes and I actually just found. Oh, my God. I found five copies of Dragon Style Twins. The fucking boys, bro. Double Strike and prowess.

Like, let's fucking go. Actually, holy shit. I'll take them. That rules. I'll be taking these, one sec. That is a big boy. Double Strike prowess is crazy. No trample, but...

Which one are you thinking of the two of us is balding? Because one of these guys is kind of gone bald ponytail, and the other one is a woman with luscious long ponytail. I don't want to have a bald ponytail. Okay, we're both the cool chick, actually. Do you think I could pull off that look? If I really very swiftly started going bald to join... Um, my, my, my, my dad's aesthetic.

Do you think, okay, so, ooh do do do do about like monk, monk proportions, do you think I could pull off a, like, I look like monk, the detective. Like I retained Shaloob-esque. You look Tony Shaloob-ish, do you think I could shoot, shoole-you think you could shoot, shoot, shal-loop, Tony Shal-Lub. How do you think that would work? Do you think I could. Bad.

Come on, man. It would be bad. With the baseball cap on, you wouldn't know. Then, then why have you done it? Because I'm, shit. Wait, all the pieces are falling apart. Yeah, I don't think it's... Well, it would work if you have the hat on,

but you're like nerfing yourself for no reason. Tim Pooling myself at the power level. Yeah, that's true. What about, um, I preempt the balding by shaving all of the side off and retaining only the top center? Okay, that is a haircut that people have, and they're not sending their best. Oh, yeah, good point.

Okay, I will keep my head. hair. Hey, you know what? Would you, uh, you ever concerned

about going to? I mean, you aren't as far as I can go. You know, it's funny. Yes and no. I don't know. I don't know how much hair

I'm supposed to lose in the shower. Ooh. You know what I mean? That's it. Because I guess it's longer the, it's more prone to kind of line. Yeah. And it's like,

is it breaking or is it coming off the, roots and is it is it like it because i because this happens like everyone loses hair in the shower right okay but it's like not a lot it's like well and it only happens when it's long i got you know those little tub shrooms that catch the hair before they go down the drain so you don't get clogged pipes i got one of those for my bathtub and the first couple times i went to like clean it out i was shocked at the amount of hair that my roommate and I lose that's the thing just blame them it's like it's like it's like because your hair you are replacing it and it is growing and so I don't believe that if I look at if I look at old photos of myself I feel like my hair is exactly the same as it was

then I had like a minor like in my early my late teens early 20s I had like My head got bigger slash maybe some slight hairline receding, and then, like, everything stopped. And then, like, the men and my family haven't lost their hair. So I have shaved my whole head before, and I'm okay with, like, I'm okay with the head shape. If necessary. If necessary. And I think of how fast you'll be. The only issue for me is that I have this bald spot from birth from, like, a C-section complications.

Like the, like, in the crown of my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, like, I remember when I was in elementary school, I would, I would always have a buzz cut and people would make fun of my bald spot. But really, it's just like a scar. You know, you know, when you get like scar tissue over your thing. I have two scars on my head, one from the top from C-section and one, the back of my head from when I fell backwards on concrete steps. It was like five or six. And you were so smart before that.

I do. I'm thinking about how many IQ points I must. So lost. When I was a kid in school, we were convinced it was actually scientifically proven that if you tap, every time you tap the temple, you lose one brain cell. And it would be, man, now I'm thinking about this, I'm truly a moron. We would play a game where you, it was essentially chicken for who would lose the most brain cells before they gave up.

I don't know what quantity we thought was available. Yeah, that's the thing. If it was like IQ score. I was like, wait, what even, how do you, considering that's not how this works, when did it stop? I get, well, I think now I'm too dumb to even do it. Right. I'm afraid. I've been replaced with fear.

So, short answer, no, but. We look cool, though. But kind of. Like, I mean, like, I feel like every guy. I think as I get older, I'm like, the odds are that I would have had more signs of balding. I feel like I know way too bold people. Way too few? Yeah.

of our age demographic the number of people we know that public facing on camera and the frequency of what i see somebody bald i remember one of my one of my good friends um bald bald billy he had this like fear and he's not bald today but he had this fear of like needing to find a partner before he went bald because he was like starting to have some hair thinning or whatever and i was like oh that's interesting like not that you can't find love if you're bald but You shouldn't. These are the type of things that, uh, that cue balls think about.

No, just kidding. These are the type of things that, um, 20 year old men are like fearful of, right? Like, am I, am I going to be man enough? Am I going to, it's like gender affirming care, you know? It's like, but it's, it's apparently just completely different and not that and it's different. Yeah. And so it's like, I know Hassan talks about taking like finesteride and stuff. And I'm like, I actually don't know, like, do you really need that?

Is your hair like without? Are you like for real balding or like I guess I think prevention is yeah it's it can be both I actually know a lot of people that take it including myself yeah and it's it's really just like a preventative thing because if you start taking it it's hard to go back once you have already lost a significant amount of hair then it's not as effective yeah um so yeah it's just like preventative thing yeah it's a thing I don't I don't know whether or not I should be doing anything I think I'm fine, however, I get Reddit, before I turned off the ability for Reddit to suggest subreddits to me, I was getting posts from like R slash balding or whatever. And it's a lot of like, you got boned by Reddit.

It's a lot of like 22 year olds going like, chat, am I cooked? And I'm like, oh, this is so sad. Yeah. It is kind of funny thing, though, that it's like one of only. a few things men really have to feel self-conscious about at all. And it is very valid and real, but it is one of those things that are just like, fuck, this thing might happen to me that really most women have fine with. It's not like a point of concern.

I think that there, it's like part of the reason I started growing my hair out. Like, because I never had my hair long, maybe once in high school, but more or less, I was like always rocking the buzz. Or like a short, a short cut. You made a conscious effort to get good at hair, I feel like. Like, two years ago, three years ago? Yeah, I think, yeah. But I think part of it is also like, is this thing on?

Does this still, you know, does it still grow? And it appears so, you know, does anyone get go bald like later in adulthood? Like, do you get a sign at least early enough? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm going gray very fast. So I would have to assume that if I'm at my, you know, like hair transition point, it would also be going bald. Yeah.

But maybe the gray is just wisdom. I know there's a big, there's a big industry around it, because, like, there's so many of those products. And I actually have no, like, I would absolutely use, in fact, chat, let me know if I should be using them. I think I'm probably fine right now. I don't know. I think most of the reason I lose hair in the shower is because my hair is, like, kinky. And, like, if I haven't shampooed in a minute, I try not to over shampoo as well. And yeah, so sometimes it's like, it'll, like, not and stuff.

But I don't know. I don't know the answers. Jacob, we have on this board 9-1-1 season teaser, and I don't know what it means. But I know you and Jordan are little freaks for cop shows. The hell? You just love the cops. I just like the police. I mean, I don't, you said, love the police.

That's like a song you do. Coming straight from the overground. Yeah. No, I do not like the police. I like bad television. But even... You don't like... But I mean, what about all their great songs?

Oh, yeah, sorry. I, well, I love Roxanne, the person. Oh, Roxanne's a different band. Isn't it not the police? Isn't it, Dexie Midnight Runner? It's the police. Thank goodness. What song am I thinking of?

That's Dexie Midnight Runner. Is it also from a goona? Come on Eileen. Come on Eileen. What the hell? I guess he's going to do. Shut up. All right, my bed.

Yeah, Come on Eileen is a song that I used to think was police. Um, you do love the police. I love the police. Cut that part, just that soundboard. Love the police. I love writing on the overground So people online have been making fun of this Season teaser for season

Season 9 which is a great season number for this specific show Oh yeah 9191 well season 911 will be even better That's true But if we make it that far This is it's one of the million procedural cop shows You know often set in Chicago with the names Chicago in the name of the show. And it's like, we're just a bunch of attractive people working in an essential state

department group that doesn't do anything unethical. We're some of the good ones. I'm just trying to save lives. And then we'll have one episode where like a really greasy, slimy, creepy cop is like, I like killing teenagers. And they're like, wow, we found the bad apple, guys. We've got to get rid of this guy. That was a close one.

We should give him a stern talking to. Yeah, we won't fire him on. We should put him on pad leaves. You got to leave for a month and a half double salary. Yeah, and don't even, and don't even come back. Don't even go back till after. Till after we let you come back. We'll give you a raise.

And we'll promote you as well. You're actually the king of the police now. King of the police. Okay. Are they looking at aliens? Was the first thought? The second thought is, um, why do these shots feel like AI they're not obviously yeah but like there's something very

Fidelity to them I do think there are for some reason green screen Oh you think that's I mean I don't think that's a real shadow yeah no that makes sense yeah no there's just like something uncanny about yeah it's probably the green screen but then also the framing of this is so strange that's not how you would shoot like this type of thing it's I think uh I think there's always something eerie about when there's like a hyper fidelity hyper realism look to something that is in our daily lives. Like, it's uncanny to see

cop shows that's been around for so long. Actual cops have been around for so long. And then seeing them at this angle, I'm like, what though? This is a weird angle. It's P of E you're 11 feet tall. Pofi, I'm growing. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it is. This is the angle from when you're a giant and you're growing. He's like, and it's like, Hulk, and my shadow comes right behind you. Yeah, this cop just stopped me and is like, You're just a little weakling.

I start getting angry. I'm going to Zaru. I don't get any stronger. I just get really tall. Those are too handsome, I think. They're so handsome. Not the right phenotype. Okay, so there's a BTO shower?

Why are we doing this? This is like Love Island shot. Wait, back up. I mean, why are we looking at now? This is every frame of painting territory. I need. Jesus. So this right here is.

That's chroma. I mean, there's no way that's. Yeah, this is ridiculous. Maybe this is why it's green screened because the shot. Otte wouldn't match like if they I don't fucking know dude it looks so bizarre what did he say oh you know what part of it is is the lighting's unmotivated like look at the tree uh the tree on the far left

is lit from the left and he is lit from the right yeah it's fucking weird he's turning to or like the angle of the trees is turning it's like parallax yeah this is bizarre did this really happen yeah there were big letters in the sky for a while that said Thursday October 9th ABC Hulu It's so funny to cop the tree over a little bit of it. Yeah. Just over the O.

But not over the fucking network, bro. ABC. ABC. What the heck is that? What the heck? What the heck is that? Oh, do you fuck. That's ABC execs responding to the FCC's comments about Jimmy Kimmel.

Give a keep it coming back. What the heck? What the heck? Free speech. This is implied threats from the Disney Corporation when Jimmy Kimball. Got taken down Yeah, this does look now Not like a meteor shower

But like actual missiles Yeah, they get a... Everyone's in the beach, you know Oh my God Okay This is an insult to the audience's intelligence That shot looked horrible Oh my God

And then I guess we're gonna have to continue Pausing this every like two seconds Because they're playing like some imagine Drivers or something in the background Oh wait, sorry They scared me. I just imagine the dragon. And then the other thing I'm thinking is that the angle of these meteors feels like it changed?

Or are they on completely opposite sides of like the city? I mean, I guess it's possible that it's just forced perspective and they're actually not even close to Earth. I assumed they were just seeing like a meteor shower and it was some, you know, like in the stratosphere or whatever. Yeah. The fucking the one that's higher than that. I don't know. Oh my God. Thursday, October 9th.

What could that mean? Well, at least now we know Is it rapture? This is relevant Everybody Take cover Take cover, shall I? Wait, when you're trying to like

Look smacks While giving emergency Everybody Mewing as I save people From a media show Pick cover Oh shit, man Wait, that shot I'm obsessed with

Horrible, wait, wait, Jacob The wide The wide of her, yeah That's absolutely insane Doesn't this, this looks like a Neil deGrasse Tyson documentary video or something? Also, does that match so the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster there and they're, okay. So that's where she is. I mean, that's where she's being green screened into.

What do you mean? This has to be real, right? Where would they get the media shower? This is, it's crazy how bad this looks. This looks like the, like, the, like, after effects practice I would do with effects packages I go from Corridor Digital. Yeah, no, 100%. This is like a, I'm watching a tutorial. Yeah, like a pretty good one.

Like, not amazing, but like, wow, for one guy, this is pretty good. No, yeah, this is like, yeah. Is it Unreal Engine 5? Look at the humans. Yeah, wow. You can do their pores. The parallax. Whoa, what's 118?

There's a meteor shower? 118 brace for impact as you're standing in the middle of the street. Take cover, I'd say. Also, like. Take cover wet in a building? Those aren't those getting hit by meteor? The issue with doing this as a promo is that I'm sure that all of these actors are like trained and very good. Like most actors are like just at the technical skill of acting, you know, good.

But they've been giving it, given an impossible job here. Oh, yeah. Because they're acting against no one. They're having, they're given direction that makes them so unnatural. Like we've seen what first responders and stuff do in emergencies. They're not standing still. I'll tell you that. In a town of no one, by the way.

They're not smizing center frame. Oh, what the hell? It's a good at the fucking crosswalk. Everybody. What are you doing? Everybody, there's no one around. Everybody take cover. We cover.

I don't know what the, you know, I'll be honest with you, man. We didn't grow up in Cold War era. I know people were scared of missiles and stuff. They had plans. If a meteor strike headed towards, I mean, what is Santa Monica, or whatever the fuck they are, I think I've pretty much resigned. to getting hit by a meteor. I don't know the angle or, like, dodge that I do to get out of the way of a giant

his rock. At the very least, I'm going to get under some cover, and I'm going to hope that it doesn't hit where I'm at. I probably stay standing in the middle of the crosswalk. In the middle of the crosswalk seems good, yeah. Or even, like, especially because when the, that guy's talking to cars, by the way, the only people around him are cars. And some CG inserts on the list.

Also, like, this is when I start breaking the rules of the rules. road because I'm less interested in like in this moment maybe I'm trying to weave duck and weave these cars are barely moving and they're following the stoplights well they're taking cover inside the car in open air I'm better call 9-1-1 I guess why not season 9 tease a promo HD HD okay is the show out oh no October well dude hold on because this is also made me want to watch this show because it can't be this bad like Like, cheesy. The only clips I've ever seen of this show, it is somebody like,

I'm just a guy that works in the box factory. I got some rebound through my knee and I got stuck to the car. And then one of them turns up and like, oh, that's not looking so good. It's always lightish. Is this the show when the body was frozen and they pushed through the chest? It's got to be one of them, right? This or Chicago chest pushes. That was 911 Lone Star, so the spinoff of this show.

Oh, is that like sheriff type? Partner. There's a meteor. We're heading towards the downtown Miami. This is also the show, I believe. I'm about liable to be killed by a meteor. Where they had, if you remember from last year, they had the B-NATO where there was a swarm of bees

chasing everyone around town. So this is like a magical realism cop show or something? I'm going to be honest with you, man. Sounds pretty good. I'm like kind of interested. Plot involved a massive, swarm of 22 million killer bees unleashed in Los Angeles after a truck carried

them crashes. Where was the truck going? Emergency responders from the show, the 118 must deal with the ensuing chaos. That's why... 118, look out for meteors. Yeah, I guess that's their like squad or something. Okay, let's see where it goes from here. Space. It's got to be right. Oh my God.

There's so many. Oh my God. Wait a minute. but like that doesn't they were so much closer maybe they just keep coming like I feel like if I'm seeing them in the atmosphere they've come through the they've broken through

do they had like in such a tight formation as to all hit Miami or wherever they're going it looks like yeah this is like an alt from like a fighting game oh yeah you fly to space but like it fudges the rules a little bit yeah and then here's something interesting so everyone obviously assumed that it's a meteor shower right I actually was kind of assuming that and then a new promo came out earlier last

or I guess like last night oh my god and this is this is the another promo for this season of 9-1-1 oh I'm so locked in by the way okay we got to find out 9-1-1 news it is oh they past eight seasons 9-1-1 has faced wait this is the show it's like always like crazy natural disaster. That's not what 911 is for. L.A. gets hit by a tsunami, and they call the LAPD.

The LAPD is they try to shoot the wave. Stop resisting! The LAPD would drown you. And then I accidentally touch fentanyl and die. Yeah, the LAPD is busy having COVID. They can't help you. Emergency on Earth.

Lightning strikes. Being made of it is crazy, bro. They will go. Are they going to space? Is that Angela Bassett? Yeah, it is Angel Bassett. She's like one of the characters in the show as a cop. Get your bag.

They went to space. They're sending her to space. To arrest the planets or something. 9-1-1, what is your emergency? Um, I'm in space. I need to go to space. What is this show? You make a good point that none of these are call 911s.

This is like, this is the type of thing that even in movies, bad movies, you immediately go to like the president. Yeah. And then you're like getting there and you're in like NASA and you're seeing all these control rooms and shit. You're not seeing these looking on the ground cops on the fucking 110. I think they

probably know about the tsunami. If I'm like calling the police and be like, did you guys hear by the way? There's a giant wave. Did you guys lightning? There's a B-NATO. Did you know that? Could you shoot it? Yeah, I'm noticing that there's a there's like a wave kind of

of loitering in my backyard. And he looks a little sketchy. Do you think you can come check him out? He's sketchy. I mean, like, yeah, no, it's like a darker kind of water. Yeah, it's a darker, kind of a dirty wave. Kind of a dirty, scary. A muddy wave, so to speak.

And I, so if you could send a social health worker, that would be really good. We don't have those. Oh, send 50 cops and all of SWAT. Yeah, just 50, all of them, like creates so much traffic. I've noticed a B-NATO and it's, how do I say this? Wilding out? It's been, um, being uppity near my house. Yeah, kind of urban, urban NATO.

Yeah, uh, okay, what the fuck is this? I mean, now I am actually pretty locked in. Can we, can we look up how the B-NATO is resolved? Or do we save it to watch in between now and next time? I'm so curious. Because this is probably on some servers called like Glombo, right? You can stream their sauce of penis. Oh, yeah, for sure.

It's on, well, it's a Fox show. It's actually penis. Oh, you can watch it on Hulu. You can, oh, yeah, of course. Oh, right, because it said ABC Hulu. I thought Hulu was falling from the sky and going to hit a... And Jimmy Kimmel said I'm allowed to sign back up to Hulu. Thanks, James.

Ghibo. Yeah, but that's what has been going on in that world. That's, it's certainly not our world. Man, if you had to... It's a world where the LAPD is effective. It's so effective that you should call them for intergalactic. Like, call the Los Angeles Police Department, please. We're witnessing a...

Extinction of that. Yeah, it's where they, they mew every day. Everybody, give her, cut. Look out. Look out. Shit. Get covered. Scratchy my chin, showing my, um, single earring with a crucifix on it.

Shit. Babe, watch out. It's like shot like Baywatch, but they're like solving space crime. But he's work. I don't know what, I know it's probably, he's like riding a bike or something, but there's something so funny to me about wearing a short sleep shirt. and big leather gloves. Well, this is...

You're like Sora. This is a great segue into something that I would love to call the LAPD about, which is the rapture. By the way, do you think season 10? Season 10, maybe 9-1, they get to the rapture? I feel like they're escalating. What comes after meteor? It is God, isn't it?

Because that's like the classic escalation. It's like, well, how much further can you go? We're in space. It would, it's aliens and then it is Jesus. I think that it was an alien invasion with the first, like, because that is a situation where if we didn't have prior knowledge of it, you would call the LAPD. They'd try to shoot the aliens.

Yeah, I've definitely for sure. It's important for us to acknowledge major events in the news. And I guess the three of us have been a little bit too sinful. True. Because none of us. And this has always confused me. Okay, getting raptured is what you want. Right.

Because it sounds really bad. It sounds bad. It sounds like an earthquake attack. The big news on the grapevine is that what were we today, September 23rd was going to be. Yesterday was going to be the rapture. Oh, well, yesterday and today. Here, I'll just show you this. Yeah.

Oh, Jesus. This explains it all. Well, you ran out of room. Right, we'll think there's a cue. Okay, so a well-known South African pastor, Joshua Mikhaila, said that he saw a vision of Jesus returning on Rosh Hashanah between the 23rd and 24th of September, which is today and tomorrow. In an interview, he said, I saw Jesus sitting on his throne and I could hear him very loud and clear saying, I am coming soon. Sitting on my throne. I'm going to say, by the way, that's aura.

I am coming soon. Dude, that's so sick. He's on his phone. On his throne. So, look, I know it's the. holy trinity and they're all maybe like the same type of a fella but like did they he's just hanging out on a throne did me uh Jesus is like is like me when I haven't actually gotten ready to leave yet but I'm texting my friend and tell them I'm on the way on my way I'm coming soon I'm actually

in my throne traffic's crazy right now traffic's crazy right now still on the throne I'm on my ivory throne the toilet I'm playing balatro uh for a little bit coming soon end of days many times throughout history A NASA engineer predicted the rapture in 1988. Harold Camping, a radio personality, predicted the rapture in 2011. And you'll probably remember Marshall Applewhite. The Heavensgate founder who convinced the eight of his followers that the rapture was coming. I respect not using a becoming photo of the Heaven's Gate guy. Yes, yeah.

But they failed to consider whether or not I want to look at it. Yeah, none would actually be the deal. I actually don't want to... Why are these people always shoot for with... their lifetime. Like, I think I'll do, like, I'll say, what, I'm 31 right now. I'm going to shoot for, hey, the rapture's in 40 years, and I'm going to start my cult now, and I get all the cult benefits for 40 years, you know, dental, et cetera.

And then, right, as I'm kind of on my last legs, oh, fuck, I was wrong, slipped up on that one, drink the cool end anyway. Why, as an academic, would you put, the, move in, like, five years? You're going to discredit yourself during. your career wait till you're retired wait till you got a little breathing room yeah like say it's in a thousand years but i guess like it's it really makes me think about how much is a grift with some of these people versus like they're like high on their own supply you know yeah that's true i guess i guess it is more egotistical to say like by the way i'm gonna be there

because look i'm rocking with with responsible christianity but what i'm not rocking with is is that is that that cult shit yeah i mean it's actually i'm like taking a stand cruel application of like faith is like so dangerous and then this shit is like who's it for when it's a crazy cult and he's doing it for you know power and to whatever's like change the frame so i have to look at his with an eyes because he's he's uh god how do you find him compelling you know what i mean of all the guys do you know polymarket it's like that um that website we can bet on anything. Oh.

And there is a... Like anything, right? I think there's one where is Jesus going to return this year or something. Oh, I was going to say this year. I'll say yes, if I guess. Well, so that's the thing. It's like, I think the... Not that I'm telling people to get into gambling,

but I think you would make some money if he doesn't. And if he does, like, who cares? Like, then money doesn't matter so much. Then you're going up or down, right? After Pastor Joshua Imchekheller made his prediction, the word spread globally. And many believers started to take drastic measures to prepare. Why did this, this is South African pastor? What about the South African pastor's word went viral?

Because I feel like anybody can say that at any point. Maybe he just was so incredibly charming. Quitting their jobs. One Australian man even went as far as to sell his car saying that he's catching a flight to heaven in September anyway. Sorry. Okay, wait. So here's the thing about quitting your job. Like, why don't you just call in sick?

Yes. Like quitting seems so... Is it out of respect? I'm going to be raptured tomorrow, so I want you to know I'm not going to be around. Because you don't... Yeah, I mean, maybe sure this is when, but you... You stick around, right? Like, you're hanging out.

Everyone else gets raptured and you just have to, like, sit on earth for another 20... I think that's if you... If you aren't going to heaven, right? Because, like, the first... The people who get raptured are, like, the chosen ones or whatever. Yeah. And they cannot have a job. And then...

If you go there with a W9, you are immediately... That's really the issue. There's a specific Heaven's Gate-based contract clause. Dude, is that... Not the... Not the cult, but like... The gate with the throne. The gates of heaven, you...

You have to be completely unemployed. You go up and then, like, Angel Gabriel or whatever's, like, is this a W8, Ben? No, I swear. No, no, I don't do any work at all. I'm noticing a pay stub is being posted to your banking account. Don't be a direct department. They trick you.

They do like the, yeah, we need, you know, three utility bills from recent history. We need your latest pay stub. Like, ha-ha, you shouldn't have a paste-up. Your latest pay stub was yesterday. You know that breaks the rules. Oh, imagine Jesus sounds like that. Welcome to my throat. Oh, I'll go to hell, thanks.

I am the guy. This guy's weird. I'm the guy, and I'm really cool. I'm like super cool. Look, this shit doing like Diablo. I'm Jesus. I don't want to be religious anymore. There are a few reasons that so many people believe that this time's prediction is true.

Firstly, the date's given fall over Rosh Hashanah, which is the new year in Judaism. Secondly, the outbreak of global conflict recently have many believing that the end of days is coming. Thirdly, people believe that Charlie Kirk and his death is a biblical example of one of the two witnesses that will die after offering their testimonies during the rapture. Interestingly, many believers are concerned about whether or not their pets will also be raptured. Didn't that feel like a strange pivot? The escalation. Yeah, I was like, okay, it's like end of days. Here are some like what people are presenting as prophetic events.

And people are wondering about their pets. What's up with the, why is there so much people are wondering? It's like, didn't they like make like a book and stuff about it? There's like a couple of like books. That's the interesting thing is they didn't. They just didn't write right. was not a concept that anybody had ever heard of until like the 1880s oh till a helpful pastor maybe came through until a helpful pastor with a unique interpretation of the bible always came through and

introduced the concept of the rapture and you should maybe like follow me listen to my gospel just in particular so the thing of so so what i'm hearing is the rapture is like a like a Myers briggs type grift where it's like not actually It's love language Yeah, it's like That's not based on the original text It's vibe very It was the 1830s

Popular's by John Nelson Darby How does that law I mean the next guy to do it That's cheating The other question I have is Why is there's such selective adoption Of these like concepts Like why

Like I only know of the rapture From like the um Like colloquial pop culture Like definitions and stuff but like it just seems like sometimes organized religion is so inconsistent American Protestantism especially Catholicism to an extent

but American Protestantism is so nihilistic I guess is the best way to put it this is not an observation like unique observation I'm making it's just it's interesting to think how much of contemporary specifically American Christianity is built around end of days and that end of days is within your lifetime because if you die pre-rapture

you float out of your grave, right? If you're a good bloke, and then you're still, you get zombieed up. Yeah, I think the issue is, like, I just worry about, like, the way that religion uses a vector of control for people, like, in these cults and things where it's like, oh, how convenient. How convenient that you specifically have this information, you have this specific insight and power. You give your money to the church right now, because you're not going to need it in two years.

Yeah. You know, might as well. And why are we stockpiling the money? Pay for the rapture Don't don't don't I mean I need a jet to get to the Rapture faster What do that guy mean I'm taking a flight to

Did he was he metaphorical Okay I thought maybe he thought The higher he gets the quicker he'll get in That makes sense Like I'm scalping a Bonaroo ticket Yeah you gotta meet yeah you gotta mean about the door It'll be easier to get tickets there I'm in the target queue to get Pokemon cards a serve

This morning I was contacted by this young lady and she asked me to message her she said i have to share my husband's dream with you so i'm going to show that right here but essentially the dream was her and her husband and her son okay but it's a dream yeah so but like anything because i mean like i could also be like i uh i called my friend and i said i have a dream to share with you and uh i uh i i said i have a dream to share with you, and I was a man, but I had baby legs. Yeah, and Goku's hair. But I had to run really fast, and it's tough because I don't have very long strides

with baby legs. I was on a carpet that rolled up like Scooby-Doo, and I couldn't go any further. My legs made up gelatin. And I was top-heavy. My ex-girlfriend was there, but... But she looked like my wife, which I don't have. Which I don't have. But I kind of knew it.

So I think the rapture's coming up. Yeah. I guess the speculation. Well, so like, the one thing I do remember is September rapture. Oh, yeah, right at the end. In the post-credit scene from my dream. It's a teaser, actually, for the season of 9-1-1. One of her sons, we're in their car driving.

And all of a sudden... So, again, we are just watching someone tell... We're playing a game of telephone where someone is quite literally telling us about a telephone call that they received where someone recounted to them a dream. That they didn't have. That they didn't have.

So we're now two people deep on a dream. This is like... I talked to chat GPT and it told me this. It's like no different to that to me. Yeah. Confirmation. Is that being, am I being too mean to this? No, this is absolute. The rapture in particular, as you point out, Jacob, as like a latter edition, as

DLC, is one of the many things installed as a nexus of control. It is, it literally just exists so that you have a end date to make sure that all of your money has gone to the church, to make sure that you've stopped being gay in time, to make sure that you are like properly behaving by the rule set that's been important. not a actual consideration, not somebody's like, oh, heads up, by the way. No, it's not her fault that she's been indoctrinated, but it is, that is how it works. Yeah, but it's like, but at what, at what point do people have responsibility? Yeah.

You know what I mean? How many Evans Gates can we have until that? Right, because it's like, because if you're sharing something that you cannot corroborate because it happened in someone else's dream, and but that's supposed to be a message, like, you could extract any meaning from anything if you have that many, degrees of separation from it it's like and if it results in somebody quitting their job and like breaking up with you know it's like there's harm in spreading those it's like different from practicing your faith with your community your faith yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah versus like

kind of leading someone to take extreme action in their own life i i might be getting this a little wrong so forgive me no um you know what i take it all back because marluther king had a dream yeah he was good that's a good one too Kendrick had a dream that's true so all of a sudden the sky turned red oh no and there was a blood moon

and there wasn't supposed to be one that day it was just when the MPCs respawned in Breath of the Wild yeah he rested at bonfire that was the issue that was foolish kindled the flame and then he saw a picture of

the month of September and what does that mean Caled? What is a picture of the month of September? That's just a piece of paper. That's a vinyl of the song, September 21st. It's the leaves turning brown. Howdy are,

Matter is September. Yeah, we knew it. We knew it was going there. What a shame. The month of September. And specifically, he saw the 22nd of September. So, do you remember? the 21st night of September it was the last night before the rapture to be clear also the day after that as well

that's also I don't it's all so hard to follow on GMT I reckon this woman said she can't get she couldn't get my video out of her head and she wanted to reach out and she asked if I would make a video in response to hers because of her husband having a dream or vision, whatever it was that... Well, no, that's important to me. Whatever it was.

If it was a waking vision, then... Some shit. No, but like, I feel like a vision is a little more compelling to me than a dream. Yeah. Because dreams happen all the time. Because dreams happen all the time. Visions, in my experience, do not...

I have not had a vision. I am not that so raven I think if I'm sending you know tips to my to my flock I'm probably doing vision over dream because the concern is is that they might think it was just a dream me God on my throne

and I'm on my way soon I'm just on the throne I'm actually not on the throne I'm actually on my way my Uber's on its way The issue is that like this type of thinking is also used in conspiracy stuff where it's like if everything's so flimsy

then you can say and do anything. If you don't stand for anything, but, you know, what do you fall for? You fall for everything. You should say that, but I mean, everything. If you stand for nothing, Burr, what do you fall for?

Well, quite everything, actually. Who are you? All right, we can move on. But, you know, no disrespect to this person. Just, I think it's, I'm just, you know, having some issues with their... I think she is very sincere,

and that is what's kind of remarkable. Right, like that. I mean, yeah, look, Don't don't do anything bad to them. The thing is, it's like all the languages shared, and it is, you know, this is kind of talk we see a lot, and it's a, it's a rotating topic. But, like, I feel like we, everyone forget that what they're talking about is the end of the world. It's like way bigger than, you know, Kennedy's going to be coming back on this day. But also, how many, like, boy who cried wolf situations are we going to have?

And how severe do they need to be? Because it feels like there's always a cycle, some source of something that we've identified as truthful. So, you know, 2012, Maya calendar, you know, that big misunderstanding about like the Mayan calendar and why the world was going to end. We've imbued this with all of this lore and trustworthiness. So the goalpost continues to move.

And so it's like, well, now it's like a South African path. It's some guy. But that that's the issue. It's like the same thing that like, you know, Mormonism or whatever can be like, hey, I'm a guy, but like I found these plates. Yes, yeah. And like that's, and it doesn't matter that I don't have any credentials or whatever. Or it's like, oh, hey, I'm Elrond Hubbard.

I'm a sci-fi writer and things aren't going so hot. So what, but I've previously written about how it would be really easy to control people if I had a religion. Now, me personally, I actually fully believe in Thetons. and if you're a sign told us watching this, don't find my address. I think you're really cool guy. Don't worry about it.

Javis is against you. Javis is a suppressive person. And I will give you his address. I was indoctrinated by a South Park episode. Oh, South African go? So you should censor them actually. Take them off the air, ABC.

I do think that's... Someone get FCC chair, freaking Brendan Carr on this, okay? This is the censorship I need. I've been indoctrinated by my media. You've been surprised. And I can't be held responsible. for what I do or say.

Don't ban me. This guy looks like a sweetie big red stamp on the top of the video two day warning biblical rapture. So I think

if you truly believe this then whatever and if you don't then I feel like this is kind of fucked up. Yeah, because if you don't believe it then it's fear mongering.

I think either way it's fear mongering. True but I think mongering in fear is like has it's true has a like um more sinister yeah yeah like an intentionality behind it whereas like if you're genuinely fearful or whatever i don't think you're like peddling the fear as like a way to control yeah it's like my grandma trying to make me like believe in god or like get baptized or whatever because she's afraid that i'm going to go to hell right she's like trying to save me

right and it's like it's a thing where you can go i you love me you love me i see what you're trying I see what you're trying to do. I don't personally feel like... But leave me alone. I'm not angry at you for getting tricked into selling an MLM. Yeah. I just am not going to go into this timeshare with you because I think you've been tricked. Yeah.

Versus like the head of the MLM who's like, yeah. Again, it's like, you know, religion can be so beautiful for so many and we're not trying to vilify. Like religion as a whole, more just like instruments of power and how it can be used to, uh, to harm, like, people and communities. And a lot of this is sort of like the fringes of religion. It's like religious extremism. It's like a very like intense interpretation of religion. It's a hyper-American tradition.

Like it has way more of a presence here because that is, you know, I'm sure you could speculate a million reasons, but it's very protagonist energy to not only be, you know, implicitly everyone's talking about their time zone, by the way. No one is thinking about this on a global scale. they are thinking about like, well, yeah, New York will get raptured first. Yeah. It's like a, it's, it's, it's adorably American to some extent, because that's just the way it operates here.

But at the same time, like, I don't, I don't know. I, I, I, I, the fear is the best motivator for things that you wouldn't want to do otherwise. Like, if I need you to tell the field, you don't really want to tell the field. No one would. It's nice to have it to hang out and sit inside. Yeah. But if tilling the field is the thing that will stop you from burning forever, it's like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I actually love tilling your chores or else you're grounded.

And then all of a sudden it's, yeah, it's not even tilling the field. It's something arbitrary, but we, the tightening the valve of oppression, the only thing that gets to leak out is, like, service and stuff. So, like, yeah, I give more to the church because, like, what the hell else am I going to do? I can't drag off. I'm working at my last shift right now. because i'm not scheduled to come back until like the 25th so i am done so don't go don't do okay so he didn't quit is he for real is this is this at is this is at rapture now oh so he's all he's been watching the clock did he make this account to tell us he was excited

telling your co-workers is a different level of um oh like committed what's his oldest video Oh, my God. Wait, how long ago was this earliest video? Not that long ago. Oh, okay. Wow. Wait, wait, what is the first? Wait, hold on.

This month is going to be why. Okay, wait, tell me more. Wait, so this is a month ago that this was predicted. Oh. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's been like sort of in predictions for a couple months, but it only really caught on the last like two or so week. God, I need more notice than that, you know? If the rap, should give me a month, there's really,

It's kind of reasonable, but like, I don't know, if GOD could give me three, a quarter, right? Give me, give me, let me wrap up Q3 and then. I just remembered, okay, so in school, we went on this field trip, but this kid, like, was not supposed to go on it because it was Rosh Hashanah, dude, and his family was Jewish or whatever. And, dude, they, um, we, like, went on the field trip, and it was, like, a state away, dude. and his family paid for him to get a taxi so he could be back before the sun went down, bro. And I was like, what is so important about this day? Like, what is it? And they're like, oh, it's Rosh Hashanah.

And I was like, what is that? Dude, his parents, like, knew. They probably knew, like, oh, man, did my light just flicker? Wait, what did they know? Bro, the rapture didn't happen then. But they, I guess they knew it was Rosh Hashanah. True. Which, yeah, no, that's like a religious holidays tend to be on the calendar, I would imagine.

They knew it was Christmas. Can you even imagine something like that? What is so important about the new year? Me counting down. At least he looks happy. He seems very jazzed. But wait. So I guess, I guess when an account named Rapture now posts this, you read between the lines.

Yes, yeah. Now, I mean, I feel like he'd find out about it earlier. But then when he goes did my light just flicker, it's like, and also that AI photo is the profile picture. That's pretty cool. I'll admit that. Me when I'm a Tron priest. Yeah, that's true. Maybe that's where you get raptured.

Oh, there's a Crucivix in the neon lighting. That's cool. There's, dude. He's got a crucifix in this sort of I used to be. Crying, man. That's me. That's actually me. He's sad.

I'm unfamiliar, I guess, with the, Hebrew association that Christians are making between Rosh Hashanah and the rapture. I know that there's like some that there's like cultural associations between Jewish holidays and the rapture which are based of maybe not the healthiest. I don't completely understand it, but it has something to do with Rosh Hashanah being the Feast of Trumpets and...

That's where she had a trumpet in the caption. Yes. That's right. I thought it announcement she had a what was it two days till whatever I remember seeing the trumpet emoji yeah yeah and so the rush shot is the feast of trumpets and something about feast and trumpets signals to people the rapture also like oh yes or like confirmed to some people that like oh yes feast trumpets rapture I don't I don't have my head wrapped around the whole lore of that yeah But that is a connection that people have made.

That's like a really shitty day of connections in the New York Times connections game where it's like rapture, come on, go. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you guys are stretching it. Four things. I pulled over just to respond to this, all right? I pulled over just to respond to this. So they're already looking at their phone.

I smacked into a fire hydrant. Or do you think they're one of those people who has, their phone read all of their push notifications to them oh that would be crazy too and they're like i've had that happen i don't know how to turn it off when i have my air pods and it automatically does it yeah and i'm like stop it get out of my head oh i don't know maybe what this is super oh uh announcement is it uh i don't well so it's like i've had it on i don't know i don't i never chose to put it on and i don't know how to turn it off it's a default setting yeah that when you get new new like AirPods that has also happened to me where

it will like when you have your AirPods in and your phone is like not on it will be like like Steve sent you a message yeah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah there's like no way to stop it once it starts talking yeah but I'm away from my phone when it's happening so I never am I never remember I never remember to turn off the setting to the point where I just like stopped using headphones what are you going to do on the 25th is that tomorrow okay all right what are you going to do on the 25th, it would be a mathematical impossibility for me to be here on the 25th. Oh, because he's going to be, that's got to be checking as well. Well, I wish it was the 25th and we could see that they might, that's actually, I'm going to feel so silly. That's a great gimmick is to never post again. Yes.

Well, speaking of that, there's this woman who we can watch a couple other of her videos too. who posted her quote unquote last video on TikTok saying that if she doesn't get raptured, then she'll post an apology video and just stop doing TikToks anyway. What's her username? Romans 10, I thought it wasn't Romans fan. Like I pick my favorite passage and I'm dealing a huge fan of this part of Michael or whatever. No, this is Romans 10, 9 through 11. He looks familiar.

Goodbye world, hello Jesus. I have tried to record this video like 10 times. I feel like it's time for me to step away from TikTok. I feel like my story is over. I have been so blessed by this and the Lord has done so much and I'm so grateful to have been his vessel. And you guys already know, I truly believe with all my heart we will be raptured during Feast of Trumpets this year. If there is some chance that we don't get raptured, I will come back and make an apology video for... Myself being deceived.

Deceived. And that will be it. That's an oddly kind of candid. I thought kind of the normal thing would be to pivot, right? Yeah. Because she's all things it's common. Because doesn't that always happen when the world doesn't end? And then everybody goes, uh, yes, we, this is actually a test the whole time.

Do you think it's different at all that this is the first one in my memory of this scale during TikTok? For sure during TikTok. The other video she posted is, um, One where her three-year-old supposedly started saying this Hebrew phrase. Is this why I think I've seen this? Sounds really familiar. And then back in June, supposedly her child while praying was told by God that the rapture was happening soon. It's just like Ruth Condor forever.

It is like my kid actually said that. Oh, no, their first post was glimpses of end of time or something like that. that? Yeah. In time prophecies. Okay, so this is like a thing that they... This is kind of like all she boasts about. This seems like I guess a part of...

It's don't talk, I guess. Yeah, this content comment says the whole rapture thing isn't just a new bait. And so... Hmm. Interesting. This is very upsetting to me. Amen, I'm just ready for Jesus to bring us home. I'm tired of paying bills.

Like, that is the truest, like... just the like strain that people are under just like living their everyday lives of course if you have if you there's like an escape hatch like yeah the promise of something at the end of the stress and the pressure which is and I think you already pointed out is very much and I actually not even she seems very sincere I would apply to say it's like the it's the heaven's gate guy that's the yeah that's the guy and I'll speculate it's maybe the priest that because it was on a podcast or something I feel like as soon as you're doing podcast now oh yeah I bet that's an electric composition.

It's like those F-boy, like, boyfriend or what they called, the old term would be like fuck boy. Like a pick-me kind of a guy? Yeah, pick-me boyfriend. Performative? Yeah, yeah, performative males.

Performative male priests on a podcast that are like... One of those colors, but it's like low-cut, like a deep V. Oh, yeah, oh, the deepest V. But it's still there. It's like right down in between the effects. Well, it's a deep V that reveals,

there's not, they're not showing skin. It's just more fabric behind it. It's a huge. It looks like a tuxedo. That is a cool look. Yo, Taxedo priest sounds like Tuxedo Mass from Sailor Moon.

New adults would show Tuxedo Priest. And then there's also some people giving like tips on the rapture, like what to do to prepare for it. So that, you know, a lot of people who believe that the rapture is coming are freaked out that they're leaving friends and family behind who will like not be saved or whatever.

So tips. I don't think of it. one i'm trying i'm trying to brainstorm a single tip yep because because it does feel like if if nothing matters then what would what would be the point of leaving a tip i guess if i which is what i say before i died and dash what's the point what's the point of even leaving a tip wait whatever is is okay is this one like really crazy but or like is one of them make sure to go outside so you don't hit your ceiling when you float up right as you float up as a physical being instead of like a spirit.

Yeah, what if you're in bed? Rapture trip tips. This does make me feel like I'm going a little bit loop, loop. Does that Tommy in it in the top? Yeah, she's talking to that. I think it's someone saying that Tommy's going to hell. Oh, wait, we got to watch that. After, after this, after this.

I mean, I know he's going to hell but, like, for a separate reason. I'm taking in there. Rapture trip tips. I recommend you go out and buy a couple of fresh packs of undies to wear for the next month. Throw all the old underwear way. Imagine after you've been harpazzoed. Sorry? Your clothes.

Okay, hold on. Hold on. Harpaz. That's actually a new word that I've never heard before. And maybe that makes me sound stupid. I've never heard. Is it like Harpado? It sounds like an Italian gangster.

Whoa, you tell me Harpazo. Tommy Harpazo. Make sure you're in the way's fresh, okay? Make sure you got to have a fresh, ditty, witty over here. So Harpazo is a Greek word meaning to snatch, seize, or catch away. Oh, like, it is kind of like Harpoon, I guess. What does you get? That's a cool, fun way of saying.

It's saying it, I guess. They must know a lot of synonyms because they talk about this stuff for it. And that's the fun part about this podcast. We just walk into shit. We don't even know what the fuck we're talking about. You don't want someone's last impression of you to be your old underwear. Paul should have said, may your whole body, soul and spirit and underwear be without blemish until the coming of the Lord. I do like the remixing.

Yeah, I like a fanfic. I do enjoy that. I do like what Paul should have said. It's like a framing. Yeah, how it should have ended. How it should have ended. Yeah. He's just going to float it off the cross.

Rapture trip tip number two. It's a tough spot to be in. You don't want to tell people you're going. Oh. Because maybe you're... A lot of people are telling us. Yeah, I don't know. And what if you're still here after?

Finally, some pragmatism. I know. Are they saying, like, what if you're still here, but the rapture did happen? But the rapture did happen. Because that's really... That's embarrassing, actually. That would be really interesting. Because that's the other thing is that, like...

Isn't it a little presumptuous to be like I'm going to be raptured because I've lived this virtuous life? No sin's here, sinless. Yeah. I'm like God's favorite. Right. Like that seems to be so excited because you are God's favorite. I would never be so presumptuous. I think if like 50 people got raptured total, then I'd be like, oh, okay, I get it.

You got it really. It's top 1% of the top 1% of the top 1% of the top 1%. It's the leaderboard. You got to compete for good deeds before the season ends and the rankings. I get it. Why would I be, why would I get placement? I'm like a good guy, but I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. What? You talk about down again? No, no, I was kidding. You still want people to know what happened to you. Leave a note on your mirror with a dry erase marker.

When someone finally breaks into your house to see if you're okay, someone won't find the note. I'm okay. I'm with Jesus. Don't take the mark of the beast. Huh? I guess that's always a good tip, right? take the mark of the beast don't do the that don't do Satan stuff I guess is the general sentiment Rapture trip tip number three trip other possible options to leave messages behind

save a note as a screen saver on your phone carry a folded piece of paper a note in your pocket wait pre-write letters and keep them in here does your pocket go with you no your pocket stays behind oh your pants come with you the pocket all of your clothes fall off

oh it's where you want fresh undies yes I see This would be a great segue into advertising underwear. Damn it. Another way to help prepare people that you might go missing because you're harpozoed without looking crazy is to leave subtle hints during conversation. Subtle hints is funny, but I'm also thinking about harpazzoed as like a thing that the mob does to you. You get snatched by the mob?

He's going to end up pop. He keeps talking like that. He's going to end up paupazzo. Yeah, we're taking you to heaven. Yeah, if you know what I'm saying. Catch my d' wave. You've been a good guy, I hope. You better not be gay.

You better not a pirate in any content. Those are the two. Those are the two things. Those are the two big ones. Yo, gay pirates, straight to hell. Smok it over for you. It's fucking over for you. There's one thing the mob hates.

It's pirates. Hey. Now eat some pizoli with my canolie and get alpazzo. Apazzo that canoli in your mouth. I alpazzoed the cream right out of that. Gnoli, do you know what I'm saying? I'm going to hell. How about brunch this Sunday?

That sounds great. I'll be there. Well, unless Jesus calls me up and I get raptured. Oh my God, so subtle. That's so subtle. The saying it and then cackling afterward, it is a little like, what do you mean by that? And I won't be seeing you there, according to my life. Wait, wait, can we click on the Tommy Unit one now?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. God doesn't exist, pal. Nothing can convince me. All right. What doesn't exist? God, give me a sign right now if you exist. Amen. Hello, Tommy.

Nothing happened. I can't subscribe. That doesn't surprise me whatsoever. God is not a genie. He knows best, and you're just testing him. Because right before that, you admitted. Nothing can convince me. God's existence is obvious to most people, but not so obvious that everyone is forced to believe

because he wants to preserve our free will. I'm going to facts and logic you in. to got it. Oh, you dumb idiot. You don't even know the rules. You don't even know the rules. And it's like, like, okay, dude, teacher's pet.

I don't know the tech. Like, why would I? You've only played Tekken. I don't know how to Korean wave dash, bro. Rapture trip, tip, number five. When you finally start moving up into the air, I recommend that you don't hold on to anything. I definitely don't recommend looking down.

I think we learn that lesson from Lott's wife. Okay. Just keep calm. Take a deep breath. slowly release it and keep your face looking upwards and pray you're not on the toilet oh the does the rules do apply why you can be new to pray you not on the yeah like doesn't matter it does anything matter yes you have a way west that's pretty embarrassing because they're on the toilet you're not getting ruptured yeah i'm just wondering like declosed as your physical body like

these things don't feel hold under stuff but you the ceiling hopefully is not a concern that's like you know, I wake up a little bit late on weekends, especially, right? If this happening at 2 p.m. and I had a crazy night out, mental night in Sheffield. Right. I'm bashing into my overhead. It's knocking my head on my monitor. Are there any other must watches? I really want to see preparing husband.

Oh, right. Because that is like, that is, I don't know what the actual is like, that is one of the funniest ideas ever, is just being like, so when you're in hell and I'm in heaven, I'm just wondering, like, if, We should, like, see other people or if we can stay, you know, because, like, heaven, everyone's kind of married in a way. And hell, where, here we go, you're going to hell. I don't, you know, I just don't know if I see this working out for us, but don't date other people. You're going to help. Ugh.

He doesn't know it yet, but I've been fighting a battle for him. Wait, can you pause? They've chosen the type of desaturation that is used in, like, TV commercials. Oh, a recreation. Like, yeah, has this happened to you? Your wife starts prepping for you because she assumes you're going to hell. Well, that does happen all the time.

Yeah, it's a pretty foul color grade. I'll be honest with you. She's finding a battle for him, which I guess is preparing, like literally just making him enough soup to make it to the end of his sinful life. If it starts happening, and it will later today, I guess, I'm just going to start riffing Hail Marys. Just getting out as many as I can really, really, really quick, right?

Because if it's like, I'm a pretty good. bloat. That should work. Hell Mary, Halmary, sorry for gaming, etc. It's a lot of pickles. Left out the Bible, respect. And the what, what, what was that?

The no grid. Where are these going? They're like an NPC. No grid. No grid survival. Oh, is this like a doomsday preppers, but religious edition? What? No grid, like the power grid.

Okay. 2025, but it's also a box. I was like, you don't need a power grid for a book. I've got to plug it in. Yeah, okay. These millennials, I probably think you need to charge it. They're on the iPad. Seriously.

That'd be funny to get a Kindle version of this book. That's so true. Oh, shit. Trying to catch some lightning. Is it striking the earth? I bet someone, I bet, you know how there's a lot of grifting in, like, religious consumerism? Like, I bet someone has made a e-ink Bible that's, like, just an off-brand Kindle, but it only loads the Bible.

And they leave that in hotel rooms? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I feel like that's a product that, like, if I'm playing a religious grifting simulator, I'm, like, selling that product. That's top of the tech tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? That's after, like, giant hardcover one. Oh, and then, like, candles that, like, I don't know, the oil takes, gives you closer to God or whatever.

It makes you float. Shout out to Alex Green Lane, writer of No Grids Survival Projects, 2025 Bible. Oh, backup Bible. That's, I've got to say, aesthetically, that's a life saved because that was in my inside pocket Bible. That caught the bullet kind of Bible, you know? Right. Or I have a little whiskey.

And some cash. All right. More cash. She's praying for him. Respect. Okay. Do you pray with the lights on? I mean, you can pray however you want.

But you personally. But before, but that was like a. a prayer before bed and it felt like the lights were on to record it for TikTok. It is a weird energy to be sure I never grew up praying. There is just something funny about

dealing down at bed but you're just at your bed. I used to hit the hole and now you lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take. You had to say man. Bars. Do you remember that?

Remember that shit? Oh yeah. My family also used to do a prayer before dinner every night before we ate our dinner with a glass of milk. Wait, that was a part of the prayer? No, no, no, no. Oh, okay.

We just also ate our dinner with a glass of milk. That's like premium white people shit. Yeah. Which I am a fan of. I did on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, football Sunday, we, Eddie made cookies

and we were doing like a little breakfast order in the morning and he didn't realize why I asked to if they had a glass of milk at the cafe like if you could just order a glass of milk because I didn't have any milk that was like I didn't have any milk in the fridge

and so I just wanted it for dunking but I think he thought I was becoming a drink a glass of milk go. Well that was funny because I walked in didn't know that Eddie had made cookies and just saw a cup of milk in front of you. Yeah. And I was like I'm not going to say.

But then I'm also like maybe that's my new thing. Like we're all out drinking, and I've just got a big glass of milk. Yeah, a big glass of milk, because it makes me feel safe. Peep's has written to us, we had a little song. We had to sing before we ate dinner. Thank you, Jesus, for our food now. Every gift comes from you, amen. That didn't rhyme.

That didn't rhyme. I was going to have a slap rhyme, maybe. Ours was, God is great, God is good, and we thank him for our food. By his hands, we all are fed. Thank you, God, for daily bread. Yeah, daily bread I'm on that mindset Don't mind myself

Don't mind if I do Dude Thank you for our lovely food Good I guess if you say good I remember a lot of A lot of the prayers that we did before Dinner when I was younger

Were like freestyle You know And so I can't read There wasn't like a specific one It was like a dear heavenly father Thank you for the Burger King Like kind of spitting some freestyle bars Our Burger King

Who Out in Heaven Yeah there's just a guy in the king mask just hey thanks for back my food looks like the prickles guy um peeps also requests this TikTok from funny Australian lady about the rapture okay so I just heard that the fucking rapture

is on the 23rd or 25th of September my fucking birthday you've had 2,025 years for a save a date but do you have to fucking pick my 60th fucking birthday I want to get to retirement I want to actually enjoy myself What the fuck

You had the first coming Now you want the second coming If this was like a Twitch chat If Jesus was a Twitch streamer He'd be like take a month off Yes He'd be like how about you You're gonna come in with that energy

I don't need that right now This comment floating I just pulled over so I can reply to this Right right right I had text of speech running in my car Only took you three days is the first time Why is it taking so long this time You don't get it, bro.

Jacob, you reckon you're going up? No. Okay. No way. No chance. Too much gaming. You guys didn't have to do pray. You just do the like, I pledge allegiance to the...

Yeah. You ever do it outside at the flag? No, we did it in the classroom. Like every classroom had a flag in there. And then they would come over the speakers in the school. And just like whoever the announcement person is just someone in the office would come on, read the announcements and then start the Pledge of Allegiance

and everyone, like, stood up and did it with them. How long is that, the Pledge of Allegiance? Yeah, 30 seconds. Oh, wait, we'll hit that. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands one nation undergone indivisible with liberty and justice for all. That's pretty efficient.

I said it pretty quick, though. Yeah, usually it's like, I pledge allegiance to the flag. And so there's TVs in the corner, so imagine there's a TV in the corner and it's playing a video of a billowing American flag. Oh, that's... You didn't have flags in the classroom? We did, but I feel like...

Can't get it to bill, oh, Jacob. So, we had morning announcements. Yeah. And at the end of the morning announcements, or the start, they would run it on the TV, so that would just be what we did. We didn't have TVs in our classroom. It was against God. Yeah.

It depended on whether or not we're talking about, like, elementary, middle, or high school, because... You got to do it all the, all the... Oh, you never stop. That's why that shit's embedded in my brain. Man, that's like... Every day. It's every day, bro.

I still do it every day, bro. morning i say i pledge allegiance and everything's good yeah thank you for the phone my alarm goes off i i i i salute the flag in the corner of my room the tv the tv a single you look it over you look over at your flag a single tear rolls down your cheek that's uh the star sprinkled banner close right yeah so close you got two of them wait a minute well one's a song and one's a pledge yeah we got a few things we got a song we got a pledge we got a pledge we got a play We got... The flag is basically a logo.

Like, it's that level of complexity. Um, okay. So on nights, maybe we can talk about this, this, uh, hockey player who got caught playing Pokemon and now his teammates are bullying him. Oh, we got to talk about that on nights. Yeah. Well, this was fun. Uh, unless, unless it is bodes poorly for us in the afterlife.

Yes, we make sure this episode gets out early. What are we talking about? We're all going to still be here. Yeah, schedule it. Schedule it. For all of those who are not saved. all those who are not saved, just so they have something to look forward to. Just in case, our listenership does not drop at all.

No, no, no. If you're... Single Samores listener is going to heaven. If you're listening to this, you have not been saved. It's heaven. They can still listen to a podcast. See, I feel like, though, they will tell you it's never too late to be saved. But in some ways, it might be...

It's actually right now would probably be... For the next one, we have a seven hours. Okay. Then it's pretty close. I think once East Coast tips into tomorrow, we could go... I think we're going to... True. true true because because god works on uh on the western time yeah it's why it's what was it

gabiopizio's people yeah yeah har har har har harpozo harpuzo hey my name is tony harpuzzo got you i'm gonna get you oh it's because of like mario puzzo right like the guy grabber isn't that the person who wrote um the godfather yeah the godfather oh that's that's that's that's what That's why we're hapuzoing. That's why we're hapuzoing. Ha, poozzo. Jesus, I'm going to heaven. Jesus.

Hey, look. Hey. I'm surprised. I was going to try to mash up walking and rapturing, and it just didn't, it didn't happen. We end every episode of Savoy's with a particular phrase. We love you. And we're sorry, Bobby Moynihan. Just stay where you are.

oh my god that's a lot of bees that's that's that's what that's what you say before we cut the commercial oh my god that's a lot of bees that's a lot of bees that's a lot of bees he said it wait you did it you called it that's a lot of bees dude that's literally like what is that is that from jaws or something that type of shot oh like like that zoom in and like racking in and then him saying, like, we're going to need a bigger boat. We're going to need a less bees. Goochie girl. How you doing?

How you're moving on? Moving all. How's you dead looking at that future girl? Future girl, yeah, we're on now. Take my money, go away. Are you all there? Go too rich for me.