Sardonicast - Sardonicast #01: The Cloverfield Paradox & Oscar Nominations

Episode Date: February 12, 2018

Twitter: https://twitter.com/sardonicast Reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/sardonicast Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sardonicast Ralph's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ralphthemoviemaker Alex's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/IHEOfficial Adam's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/YourMovieSucksDOTorg Alex's Twitter: https://twitter.com/IHE_OFFICIAL Ralph's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ralphsepe Adam's Twitter: https://twitter.com/2gay2lift Adam's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/YMS Ralph's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ralphthemoviemaker Intro music by: https://www.youtube.com/user/anUnkindnessvideo Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 05:40 - Alternate Podcast Names 21:24 - Oscar Nominations 1:01:50 - The Cloverfield Paradox [SPOILERS] 1:54:56 - Q&A

All right, all right. Three, two, one. What is up? Drama Alert Nation? I am your host killer Keemstar. And let's get right into the news. What the fuck? Am I the right place?

No, no. This is the last place you want to be. Anyway, this is a podcast that we all started called Sardonicast. What does that mean? What is Sardonic? What is sardonicism? Well, we had to look it up. I went on a the

thesaurus, because we were looking for names for the podcast. And I looked for synonyms of things like sarcasm. And sardonicism seemed to be an appropriate, not necessarily synonym, but something that was close enough to sarcasm.

Sounded sexy and different. Damn right. And you know what? Before I go any further, we should introduce ourselves. shouldn't we? We're kind of fucking winging this. We have no idea what we're doing. You guys go first. I'm Adam. I

review movies on a channel called Your Movie Sucks, YMS. I do other things too, but we'll get into that later. Who are you guys? I don't know you. I'm Alex. I'm Alex. God, fucking Yanks.

From I hear everything and I make videos as well. I am. Ralph. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still talking. No, I'm just fine. You go ahead. I'm Ralph Seppie. I have a YouTube channel, Ralph the Moviemaker. YouTube.com slash Ralph the Moviemaker. Um, Twitter.com slash Ralph the Movie Maker. All right. Chill. Say that. Pornhub.com slash roughenum that. I actually do have that because of the Nutshack video. Okay, cool. We can get into that later. Oh, what kind of a Nucknut shack is it? Oh, it's a, they took it down. So, apparently it's

Oh, it was too risky for Pornhub. It was. YouTube wouldn't accept it. Not even Pornhub will accept it. For the brief amount of time where the Nutshack was a meme, that song was in my head all the fucking time. And it's really bad. It's not a good song at all. It's a terrible song.

Do you have the 10-hour version on your iPod? Because I do. I don't have an iPod anymore. I used to. Why not? You have an Android? Are you one of those fucking guys? Yes.

Well, and... Even if I didn't have an Android, I'd have something like an iPhone, not an iPod. Yeah, well, Adler has an iPod. Yeah. Shut up. You have a fucking analog telephone, probably, Alex. Excuse me? You still have phone books in that fucking shit.

Not in a fucking third world country. Anyway, if you haven't noticed from our voices, um, I, uh, we're all from different countries. So it's a pain in the ass to get this coordinated. But so I'm I'm from Canada and Alex is a Brit bong and Yep Ralph Ralph is from the Murikas and So hopefully there will be a lot of

Racial tension in this show There is in the five minutes we've been going is already We all hate each other So making America great again Well you've shown your true colors 500,000 dislikes. Yep. Goodbye, everybody.

They're already clicking off. Goodbye. Thanks for listening, everybody. We can just talk about whatever we want now. We just did the podcast speed run for when people stop watching. Yeah. Okay. The average watch time will be five minutes anyway.

We're going to talk about what sardonicism is. It's essentially a more like morbid or depressing kind of negative version of sarcasm. So it's not necessarily sarcasm. It's sarcasm with with a darker kind of connotation to it. And I thought about that when I was looking through different names. And I realized that our channels kind of inhibit that

more so than a lot of other channels. channels do. There's plenty of sarcastic kind of either commentary or film, uh, based channels out there, but we seem to be ones that are particularly, uh, uh, what's the word, I don't know. Um, yeah, that's a good way of phrase, pessimistic or negative focused, you know, like, uh, yeah, like other podcasts you listen to like, liven up your day, we're going to make you want to kill yourself. See, there it is Well, maybe

I don't know I'm not like an etymologist Or a linguist or a linguist I'm not I'm not like the biggest pro On the English language But I think we got something That works

You know, I think I think that This is different And you know what? Above all else The name wasn't taken Anywhere I know

How often does that Any piece of media There was not one song Or one podcast or movie or television show or I searched SardanaCast in Google and it turned zero results what the fuck

so it was really easy creating all these different accounts it was like a gift from the meme gods so while we were discussing you know the podcast and what names

we should be discussing we actually came up with a few of them and I think you guys have them saved or written down Yeah, do you want me to go through your list? You have them? Okay. So these are the other names that we were considering

before we decided to do Sardana cast. Let me just note that I've had to omit some of them because they were so offensive, I had to leave them out. Okay. No, say them, but don't like that. I have, like, loads of them, but they were a couple that was like, okay, I'm not going to include that one. I'll tell you which ones they were after.

So the safe for work ones are another podcast, which was kind of bland. That's bad. I think I came up with that one. Yeah, you did. The Why Do We Even Bother show. Oh. These are really lame. And Canuck.

Yeah, they're really lame. Yeah, you know what? I would never want to refer to myself as a Canuck. As much as I love my country. I searched if that was racist. And as much as I feel like my country is much better than those shitholes that you guys live in. Oh, okay. I think that Canuck is just such a, it just sounds bad, you know, Canuck.

It does sound bad, but it's such a lame thing to refer to yourself as. I'm Canadian, I'm not a Canuck. What the hell is that? That's lame. Yeah. What about like a yank? A yank isn't like, it doesn't sound good, does it? You're not only people that call, Yankees, I don't know.

I don't hear anyone ever calling Americans Yankees except British people in Canadians. No, no, we don't call you Yankees. Yanks? Yanks, oh, right. Yanks, not Yankees. Yeah, because you're always yanking yourself. off. I don't actually know the origin.

Yeah. We're number one. I feel like it's based on the baseball team, the Yankees. Is it? Is that really the origin of it? I think maybe the Yankees are based off of the word yank. Maybe it's the other way around. They all jerked off each other.

This one's actually quite good. Cool cast saves the kids. We'd get sued immediately by fake lawyers that don't exist. I don't know why this one is in here, but fat sluts with big butts is just in there. I think that was not mine. Who did that? That was definitely Adams. No, it wasn't.

Oh, sure. I don't understand this one either. It's just I.H.E. Y.MS. And Ralph, in brackets, the faggot. Oh, yeah. Who did that? I did that. I just wanted to take a stab at Ralph.

Oh, okay. It's like, IHE, YMS, and Ralph the faggot. Oh, okay, so you're calling me that. Yeah, so, hey, precursor, anybody who might be offended by the usage of that word on this show, I'm actually gay, so... Sorry, you can't complain. I'm not gay, so I'm not going to say it. Well, it's okay, because I can give you a card, a special card that allows you to say it. Am I allowed one F card a podcast?

I don't I'm not sure I want to call it an F card that I give you but sure you know what that's exactly what I want to call it okay well anyway so yeah in case in case anybody wants to get offended don't get offended on my behalf okay it's all right it's I was just reading off the list either I didn't mean it's like when people told you Bruno was homophobic oh this is true this is yeah Alex was just quoting something that I came up with so okay this is yeah we're in the clear I think technically

on television for censorship standards in the US. I think technically, as long as the character is gay, they can say that. There's shows like wonder shows in that I've gotten away with that. And I think South Park did an episode where they kind of played on that where a black character said the N-word and they just did it a million times as long as it was said by a character. Oh, yeah. And so as long as it's that type of character saying it, it's fine on television standards, apparently. although television standards are getting more lex as time goes on because they're realizing censorship on television makes no sense with how they operate at all at this point you can show like

really hardcore sex on TV as long as you don't show a nipple which doesn't make any sense to or willie or willy you can't show well you i mean like butts butts are okay now at this point television's realizing they have to compete with the internet so i mean you couldn't you couldn't have a show like the walking dead like 10, 15 years ago, you know? It just wouldn't exist. No way. You know, on like network television. Maybe on HBO or something, I guess.

But anyway, continue. Definitely HBO. Hbo. Another somewhat bland one. Sodcast So what? A podcast about dirt. Because we're a bunch of sods. This is my personal favorite one. Valerian and the city

of Alex Ralph and Adam. That's my favorite one too. And I had another one, another variant, which was Alex Ralph and Adam and the City of a Thousand Planets. So you just felt inspired by that film is what you're saying. If a Valerian is anything, it is inspiring. It's a great film. It was a good... It was cool to watch $200 million burn.

I am always fascinated by films like that where I can just watch the money. disappear, you know, where I'm just like, wow, that was a lot of people's jobs and a lot of resources that could have been used to feed starving Africans, but, you know, instead we got Valerian. Or even just make a better movie. Yeah. I mean, it could have been used for a million different things, you know, things that aren't just a complete waste.

A complete waste of time, which it was. Thank you, Luke Besant. Thanks, Dane. Yeah, thank you, Dane. Herodelvie. You know, Dane Dahan, so many. A lot of people... Thanks, Rihanna.

Oh, yeah, thank you, Rihanna, for the futuristic stripper scene that was not necessary. I haven't seen this movie, so I don't know. I've seen it twice. Twice? Oh, why? Yeah. Because I watched it once at curiosity, and then I got it as a joke Christmas present on 4K Blu-ray.

Oh, and you wanted to see it in higher resolution. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, and it looked pretty crisp. I actually watched it when I was visiting my family for Christmas also except I didn't watch it with my family I watched it with some some some dumb guy named Shay and we laughed and we cried and you fell asleep because it's so long it just a lot of it didn't uh didn't make any sense you know no like why is it the the rules you know they have the

this this I okay Ralph you're about to learn about this movie because it's yeah I really want to I mean I want to care about there's there's this whole sequence in the I guess near the beginning first of all very unlikable characters there's two characters very characters in this film they are assholes they are obnoxious and it's it's so confusing to figure out like who you're even supposed to be rooting for these are like there's nothing about them that you could possibly like because they just act obnoxious the entire time. There's this whole opening first kind of,

not really opening, but in the first third of the film, there's a big action, yeah, this big action sequence where there's like these two different planes of existence in the same location, kind of. And it's like, basically there's a big desert, and there's this tour bus of people that are basically, It sounds insane.

You sound like you're going crazy. It doesn't make any sense. I'm trying to figure it out in my own head, but it doesn't make any sense. The most bizarre thing about that concept is how it's like, they take so much time setting it up, and it seems like something that's going to have some kind of payoff or at least come back again in the movie. But they spend like the whole first 30 minutes doing this crazy action sequence and nothing to do with it ever comes back again.

It's supposed to look very impressive, is from what I gather. That's it. It's just spectacle. Yeah. And, you know, if it was, if it was done. properly, then perhaps I would have enjoyed it or be impressed. There's like, in

the desert area, so not in the shopping mall, but in the same place in the desert world, there's all these guards watching on outposts or whatever, like all these towers with sniper rifles. And I don't even really understand

like why they're there if people, because I mean, are they able to see, are they looking at the the real world? You're overthinking it. None of it makes any sense.

It's pointless. It's such a painful scene to try and understand fully. And when you present a concept like that, you know,

when you present something that is seemingly intricate in this universe that you're supposed to care about, I kind of want to know more about it and I'm kind of interested in a way where I want to know how it works. And perhaps in the original, like, I think it was a graphic novel or something.

Yeah, yeah, it was. Perhaps in the original source material, it was thoroughly explained and it made sense. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe it wasn't. But in the film, it's just, it just, I, it was so confusing. And it seemed to contradict itself and not make any fucking sense and just leave a lot more questions than answers. Um, do you have anything else to say about this film?

Yeah, Alex. I would actually recommend it to you, Ralph, just in terms of how not to, like, make a movie. It is so bizarre, because it's so long. It's like two and a half hours long. Well, every movie has to be now. Yeah, yeah, it does. But the story is so ridiculously simple. You expect, oh, that running time is going to be justified, but all these concepts, like, being delved into and explained.

But it's just one character gets lost. The other character goes and finds them. The other character gets lost. They go and find them. What does Kara Delavine do in it? She's like a Valerian's boyfriend. Sorry, girlfriend. Boyfriend.

Nice. Wow, I wasn't seeing that coming. It's a lady boy. It's really funny, though, because at the beginning, Dane Dahan has this speech, how about how he's so, like, handsome and strong? And it's like, dude, you look like a fucking gremlin. They cast he was the Green Goblin for a reason.

Dane Dahan is, like, a void of charisma. He's my least favorite actor, maybe ever. He seems somehow, like, in every film, Except Chronicle that he's ever been in. He seems inappropriately cast. But in a way where, you know, it's not like he's in films that would have been great without him. You know, Amazing Spider-Man 2, Valerian, whatever.

It's not like he ruins those movies. He just makes them somehow worse, you know? Oh, yeah. Even Cure for Wellness he was in. He's not even doing it any favors. I haven't seen Cure for Wellness yet, but I'm kind of, I know it's mixed. I know the reception is very mixed.

I'm excited to see it because it's Gore Vrbinski, but that's about it. Yeah, it looks nice, but besides that, his performance, I'm telling you, I think he ruins the movie. Oh, really? He's one of them. I mean, the script is dumb as fuck, but he's like the only thing you're supposed to attach yourself to. Oh, that would be depressing. And he just goes around like, uh, I'm dinged to haunt. Well, I'm.

Well, you guys really sold me on Valerian. Good. Good, because it didn't Valerian didn't really sell to anyone else. Yeah. Yeah. If only there were more use in the world, maybe it would have made some money.

Man, what a waste. So were there any other podcast names? Were those the last ones? There was one more, which is also lame, Sulk cast, which is just terrible. Boom. And finally, Sardonicast,

which is what we decided on, because there's a sea. Yay! Which does help. And that's Adam, who came up with it, right? Yes. Yep, yep, you went with Sosaurus.com.

I came up with none, so. Well, I think you were sleeping. It was one of those, you know, like, when we're in our little chat, it's like, we're all in, we're all in different time zones here. You just got to, you just got to accept that at any given point in time, there's going to be somebody missing from the chat and just go with it and hope that they read it when they're awake. Yeah.

Because if we waited for every single one of us to be present every time, we would get nothing done. Especially because Ralph spends so much time on his crack pipe. Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow, I told you that in private. And now you're going to share that with everyone on the internet. Oh, whoops.

I guess you should probably edit that out. Can we talk about Jankham? I know I mentioned it to you guys. Yeah, sure. Talk about it all you want to want. I'm sorry. Say again slowly and make it clear what you're saying. I'm sure everybody would love to hear about this.

So we were talking about drugs earlier, and I told them about this concept called Jankum, which is you shit. Say again. Say it again. Yeah, it's really sounding out here. You shit and piss in a bottle, and you leave it there for a week. And then a week later, you come back to it, open the cap, and sniff it. And it makes you pass out. What's it called again?

You want to say? Jencom. Jenkem. J-E-N. K-E-M. Jen. Jen-C-C-M. Okay.

And I mentioned this because Jencom is our sponsor for the week. Jencom. Use your SardataCast code We're selling Jankum It's my Jankum We are My Jankum That's the name of the company

Jankum And like really cool font Really cool neon font It's like the Nerf logo Except this is Jankum on it For a premium price You can buy horse Jankum Oh yeah

We can have different kinds of Jankum We can have Rat Jankum We could have Human Jankum We could have If you pay extra you can get Ralph's Jankum Oh yeah And I'll sign it

Oh no That's what celebrities are going to do in the future When they need to like When they run out of money Because they spend it all on drugs and hookers or whatever They're going to like jencom in bottles And you're like You want William Shatner's jankum

And he signs it And then you pay like $50,000 for it Yeah So what do you want to talk about now? Beat that Well So I guess, well, okay, so this is episode one.

We're, you know, we're kind of fucking winging it, and so far, it's a disaster. But it's a funny disaster, which is a theme, you know, that's the most important. As long as people can laugh at us, it's fine. Yeah. So I guess I just wanted to explain that this is also a podcast, if you haven't noticed already, we kind of just got into it. uh this is also a podcast that uh has has something to do with uh movies so we'll we'll be talking about movies a bunch because we we are all familiar with movies and we all do videos about um and uh so yeah i just uh that that that's something that we'll talk about um and into the

uh next discussion that we have listed um we're going to talk about the uh plane flying over ralph's house. And, uh, I know the police car. If you, guys, if you ever hear sirens or like people yelling or like gunshots, that's coming from me. Yeah. Yeah, it's coming from the American.

If you hear homeless people yelling at each other, that's definitely me. It's always me. This city is a shithole. Oh. Well, um, so, uh, yeah, we have, we have some movie related things we're going to talk about. Um, yes. one of them being the Oscar nominations and so the Oscars are coming up and I guess I guess what I wanted to get from you guys is what do you how do you feel about the current nominations and what were your favorite films of 2017 or least favorite what do you feel was like snubbed you can just kind of get into this so right now we have the best picture nominations we have call me by your name I thought it was like snubbed I think it's kind of get into this uh so right now we have the best picture nominations um we have callby by your name I thought it was awesome.

Me too. What are you gay? I have nothing to add. I haven't seen it. Yep. Are you some kind of fag? Like a gay movie? Oh, gross, dude. We have darkest...

I like a well-shot, well-acted movie. We have darkest hour, which I have not seen yet. I had a ticket to it at TIF, Toronto Film Festival. And I wound up missing it so I could see another movie that I wanted to see. I forget which one I missed it for. So I gave my tickets to Channel Chris Well and Louisa. Oh, really? Yeah, they saw it.

And they didn't like it. It's cool. But. Yeah. Has anyone else seen it here? It strikes me as a grandpa movie. Like, my grandpa who loves war movies and is English. Okay.

Really is excited for it, but I don't know. It seems to just be completely sold by Gary Oldman. I'll check it out before the Oscars happen. It's exactly what you think it is. Gary Oldman's good, and he does some speeches. And he's like, man, people don't like Winston Churchill, but in the end, he gives a good speech, and everyone rallies behind him. And then the movie Dunkirk happens, and it's like, yeah, you can just watch Dunkirk instead. Yeah.

Yeah, next we have Dunkirk. Oh, there you go. Yeah, so Dunkirk is nominated for Best Picture. You guys enjoyed that? I really enjoyed it. I very much enjoyed it I have my criticisms with it But I think that it was a great movie

Overall well why don't you just watch my fucking quickie I did when it came out I barely remember it though Yeah I mean I gave it an eight out of ten yeah The choice of presenting the film in the way that it did Certainly makes it more unique But I'm I fail to see any kind of point for that because I could you know the film easily could have been Pulp Fiction or you know any any kind of film that has like chapters and be like here's a

chapter here's a chapter here's a chapter I really I didn't really see any point in presenting the film as a kind of like oh let's constantly be coming back and forth between these especially when they're in completely different times from each other so I would like cut to a completely different time of day and cut back. It just felt like unnecessarily confusing in that sense. And obviously, you know, at a certain point, you understand what is happening. But it was just like, I, I didn't really get why that had to happen. Because Christopher Nolan loves time and timelines.

Well, I mean, you know, that's what I was going to say. He loves fucking with time in that way. In Memento, it worked very well and it was appropriate and it served a purpose, right? That's the best time he's done it. Yeah, I, that, that, it, made perfect sense in the way that it was presented. It was the movie. It was the whole film.

And especially because it's not just like, oh yeah, it makes sense and it's easy to understand in a way. It's the fact that there's murders going on. I hear it outside. It's the fact that it had so much purpose in terms of it being told like that in the first place. Like the main character has a condition that it's not amnesia, but he's. as like a short-term memory loss.

And so by presenting it in that way, then you are forcing the audience into the main character's head in a sense. Like it's not a perfect sort of replication of what he might be experiencing, but it helps. And it helps you to get into the character's head of this confusion and paranoia and, you know,

misunderstanding. And I just, that's one of my favorite examples of, of presenting a film non-chronologically because it fits so well with the story they're trying to tell. You know, Nolan is obsessed with not using CG, which is something I admire him for. You know, he tries to do everything practical as much as possible. Yeah.

In terms of that. But this is the first time I noticed it kind of create a somewhat detrimental effect on a film in terms of the scope where I never personally got the feel that there were, what is it, 250,000 people? on the beach? 3,000. I agree with you, by the way. Yeah. I never got that sense.

To me, it seemed much more small scale than the actual event. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I completely agree with that. The other criticism that I mentioned in my review that I still feel is relevant is, I think it's kind of bullshity that he decided to present. this war story in a very sugar-coded fashion

in order to make the film PG-13. Yeah, yeah, that bothered me too. You could say like, oh, maybe this is just the film he wanted to make and it had nothing to do with it being PG-13. Okay, I don't believe you, but let's just go with that. Even in that instance, I mean, you're really downplaying how the event

vicious yeah I mean like it's not it's one thing if you're going to have um atrocities play take place off screen or out of frame or cheat the film in a way where your imagination makes up for it that's that's something that one of my

well my literally favorite director uh michael honica does is he likes to have a lot of off screen uh violence and your imagination kind of fills up and the blanks and it makes it even more real. But what Christopher Nolan did here, it wasn't off-screen.

It was very much on-screen, so it's not left up to imagination. You see what's happening, and all you see is like, wow, that's not what a grenade would do to people. It's not just going to kick up some dirt and like, ooh, no, somebody died. It's like, you know,

explosions like that rip people's limbs off, you know? That felt like a business decision. Yeah, I completely agree with you there. When Michael Hannaie does it, you know, he's obviously, he doesn't give a shit how well the movie does. So it's very purposeful when he does it. Oh, yeah. I don't remember the last film he has made that's PG-13, if any. I don't think.

I don't think, ever. I don't think he considers the rating when he makes a film. And yeah, I just found that. That being said, it wasn't a big thing with Dunkirk for me. Because it was toward the beginning. It kind of bothered me when the, when the missiles came down and the fucking guy just went flying up in the air. It didn't. No, it didn't ruin it.

It didn't make the movie back. It's mostly about how the paranoia of them being stuck on that beach kind of forced them on each other, like, you know, like their rats just eating each other alive. It's more about that. It's more psychological. But, yeah, I agree with you. I think it would have been much better if it was rated R. It was a minuscule amount of time in the film that that was even noticeable. But it is something that I was like, okay, well, this could have been much better if you didn't do that.

So, um, not a huge issue. Again, I gave it an 8 out of 10, which is a rare occurrence. So, um, yeah, still enjoyed the film. Did you say, um, didn't you say upon rewatching it not on the big screen, it's somewhat less effective? Yes. Because I've got it, I've got it on, um, Blu-ray, but I haven't watched it again yet. Oh, yeah.

Well, I got it, Blu-ray 4K on a nice TV. And it's just not, it's not the same, is it? It really isn't. And that's interesting. I've always had an issue with the sound mixing. Yeah. No, it doesn't. I promise you.

Did you guys have an issue with the sound mixing? Because that's only my really big issue. Is that why I could barely hear most of the dialogue? You know what? The dialogue sounded like they were talking in a toilet. That seems to be a thing for Christopher Nolan films now, and I don't know why. Yeah, I don't know. It seems to be like...

It's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's specific to Christopher Nolan films. Like, I don't know if he just keeps hiring the same guy or... That's what makes me think I think it's an intentional choice. I think it's what he wants. Maybe he likes that. I've listened to him talk about it and he said like it sounds more realistic when you hear loud waves in the back and you can barely hear the characters because that makes it sound like it's really there.

And by that same token, I'm like, that's bullshit because I can't fucking hear when anyone's saying. You know, okay, if you want to have that excuse for Dunkirk, that's totally fine. But in Interstellar, it was the film's musical score that was drowning out. I literally like I saw that movie in theaters and there were points where like like I could only tell what they were saying because I was reading their lips and like my friends next to me were like what the fuck and they would just whisper like what is he saying and I'd have to I'd have to like translate for them to just be like this is what Michael uh what is this name Michael Kane Michael Kane the soundtrack is just drowning him out and I'm like well that doesn't really that doesn't really improve realism you know that's that's a mixing issue I don't know how you could call it something that's when the sound guy should put his foot down and if you I even want to bring up Dunkirk. I go to David Fincher immediately where he has characters yelling their dialogue

when they're in loud areas. Oh, I love it. And you can fucking hear them. Yeah, I mentioned that about... Did you see Mind Hunter? Yeah, not yet. Not yet. There's a scene where two guys are in a club and he put subtitles there

because the club is so loud and you can barely make out of the sink. That's so good. And Chris Nolan doesn't do that. The characters are just talking and it's like they're in a war zone. I've had that criticism with so many fucking movies and it takes it takes me out of the movie every time it happens and I know like most people would consider that to be very nitpicky and I think a lot of people's standards for what's nitpicky and isn't is a lot of the time due to what they notice and don't notice.

So if I notice something that it doesn't, it bothers me but nobody else then all of a sudden it's a nitpick and so something something like you know characters are in a club or a musical performance or any kind of environment or, you know, a restaurant, anything that's supposed to be loud. And you can so clearly tell just by the way that they're talking and the volume at which they're talking that the room was silent when they filmed it. The characters are essentially whispering to each other across the table. And they add the background sounds later in post. And it's just like, oof. Like when you notice that, it's so jarring. And, you know, my, issue with it is not like, like, oh yeah, it's the biggest deal in the world. But my issue with it is,

it's so easy to fix. All it takes is a little bit of foresight. You can have a silent room and have the actors talking at a louder volume so that when you bring in the post audio, that it sounds natural. You know, it's like, you have to imagine that the room's loud before you film it. And as long as you take that consideration, then that's something that's a non-issue. Like, then you have everything working fine. As long as you take the consideration beforehand. But holy crap, so many movies don't do that. And I mean, I guess a lot of people don't notice it right now. Um, now that, you know, we have the internet. I think a lot of filmmakers are starting to do it. I yeah. In film school, they always bring up that social network scene with, um, Justin Timberlake. Yeah. And Mark in the, in the

bar. And it's the blaring music. Yeah, it's, it makes a lot of sense. So I think people are way more self-conscious about it now. Over time, people's standards for what they'll accept in film just keeps going up, you know, for... Yeah, which is a good thing. You used to... Oh, of course. You know, like, as long as people are more demanding

for what they want out of a film, then films will continue to get better, and that's part of why I'm so critical of everything, is because I feel like... I feel like if more people were critical, then films would improve, you know? If everybody keeps accepting

bottom of the barrel bullshit or, you know, that's what they'll make, you know. Then you get Valerian. Yeah. Oh, wait, in Valerian, did, in the Rihanna stripping scene, was the music loud,

but the, I don't remember. Were they yelling? Was it like Fincher made it? I don't remember. It wasn't even like a surprise to showing. Yeah, it was like, it was literally just like three people in a room.

It wasn't even like a strip club. Next step. Best Picture nomination we got Get Out. I thoroughly enjoy that film. Me too. I don't think it deserves the best. Yeah, I was going to say, do you think that, when I'm just looking at that, in that list,

and I'm thinking, I liked that film a lot, but I don't know if it's quite up to snuff with the competition there. Well, I would say, especially with a Blade Runner, which is missing. Well, yeah. Okay. So we've got how many nominations total? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

You know, I thought they had 10 at one point. In 2010, they started having 10 nominations. I thought, I don't know why there's nine here. They, okay, well then Blade Runner really got snubbed. Wow, why are there only, let me count that again. One, two, three, four, five, six. Darkest Hour and get out of the two there that kind of seeming. I think, well, okay, so we're going to, you know, next one, next one up, I think

get out's much better than Lady Bird, you know. I thought Lady Bird was good. Not much better, but, you know, get out. I can understand being there because, you know, at least there's, you know, there's some social commentary, the in the head kind of dream sequences

were really, you know, creative and very well shot. The acting's great. You know, there's a lot of really great qualities that Get Out has. Whereas I feel Lady Bird is just like a pleasant experience.

Like Lady Bird's just like, that was good for me at least. I know a lot of people are really overinflating that film, but Lady Bird's, it's a good fine, like Netflix movie, you know? Yeah. It's okay. I describe it as

it's like Brooklyn. It's a good building furniture movie. Like when you're building a desk or something and you put on a movie in the background. Yeah. Lady Bird is a perfect, perfect movie. Yeah, that's, you know. She can like kind of pay attention. And you're like, oh, I'm kind of keeping up with it. I never thought about it that way.

and of course now that you think about everything well when you say it like that it kind of makes perfect sense because ladybird everything that you can get out of the film you're essentially just getting from the dialogue anyway like it's a movie that you could listen to and

pretty much get the same experience as watching it yeah I don't know why well I kind of know why it's nominated for best director but I just personally feel I think we all know why we can get in that. I personally feel like

it's the directing. The directing wasn't part of what made the movie good. You know? The directing was mainly the script in the acting. The directing was really passable and felt you know at times like you know it could have been just a TV movie. Like there was nothing about

the filmmaking itself that that really made this film stand out. It was well written for the most part. I have my grapes with the writing. Well that one plot line with the... Yeah, the cliche thing. Yeah.

No spoilers, but yeah, I mean, like, if you've seen it, you'll know what we're talking about, though, like, I want to fit in with the cool kids thing. Like, that could have been thrown out of the script entirely, and it wouldn't have made a bit of fucking difference. Well, then the movie would have been 50 minutes long, so they needed that in there. But they could have thought of something else. I mean, really, Greta Gerwig couldn't think of anything. That wasn't...

You don't think so? That didn't really take up much time in the overall plot. I mean, like, there were, I mean, I'm not talking. talking about the whole thing of her and her dating different people you know that could have those those relationship scenes could have taken place without them being a part of this whole I want to fit in with the cool kids thing right so you could if you took out the element of the whole cool kids plot which is one of the most clicheed plot lines I've ever seen like every single fucking kids TV show has one episode that it that is

focused on that shit and and it's just so annoying to see it like in a feature film when it doesn't really add anything or do anything special to it it's like that could have just been taken out like i it's so contrived and derivative and uninspired but you know for the most part well written um you know good good characters um i really like how they developed the relationship with lady bird and her mother and you know the um the challenges that that they've overcome and how they justify their behavior and their

relationship. I thought that that was... Yeah, they were the best part of the movie. There's some really good writing in this film, and I think Greta Gerwig did a great job with that. Yeah. Best picture... Even the fact that the... They always joke about like the mother and a ladybird

always talk about, oh, we hate each other, but they don't really hate each other. It's like how a mom and a stubborn little girl hate each other. They always come back to the same, you know, and in the end, they'd like... of each other. Like that scene where they're fucking picking out the dresses and they're arguing with each other. And then they're like, oh, what do you think of this dress? And then out of nowhere, they're like, oh, it looks great. Little moments like that that were just beautiful. But six out of ten.

Yeah, I mean, like it's not up to par with what I would, it's a good first film, you know, from a directing standpoint. It's a really, honestly, like much better than a million, the majority of films out there and the majority of first time films out there. It's a really, really great first attempt. And I still, it's a movie I would recommend either way, even if it wasn't a first, first time film. Have you seen it, it's really? I haven't seen it, no, that's why I've been quiet. It's just a really, it's not up to par with what I would consider, you know, best film of the year worthy.

Yeah. And just for the nomination being there, that's fine. I'm not really, you know, apparently there's nine nominations this year. Blade Runner 2049 should have been the 10th, but I guess it got snubbed a little. There was, oh yeah, you can see it in the trailer. There's some, there's some bad acting in Lady Bird also. There's some kind of shit acting at points. Are you referring to your favorite Lucas Hedges?

I wasn't, but he, I mean, you know, he, as soon as he's forced, as he does, fine the whole movie until one of his characters' last scenes where he needs to show some emotion and as soon as he's as soon as he's expected to show any kind of emotion and be like, oh, I'm crying now, then it's just like, oh, I cringe

because he doesn't do a good job and it's just I can't believe he's taken seriously as an actor. It's upsetting. I think he's fine. I mean, they had a problem with that other girl. The, uh, well, she was also in, um... Her loser friend? Three billboards. Who? Her loser friend. No, no.

There was like the scene where the loser friend and Lady Bird were eating those, those, the bread that they serve and, uh, I don't remember. And there's this other girl that walks in. She's also in three billboards. I don't remember. I know her name, but yeah. Um, whatever. Yeah, there's, I guess I could try to find. Um, there's, you can see in the trailer for Lady Bird, there's kind of a bad delivery of a line of the, um, the cashier saying, put it back.

And it's just like, oof, it's one of the. those lines where you can tell the actor is holding back so much. They were asked to yell and they didn't really give it their all. They were holding back their voices. They say it. And it's just like, you know, I always cringe whenever I see shit like that.

And that's a moment where the director should say, do it again and do it until you fucking get it. Let's stop talking about Lady Bird. We got another best picture nomination. We got Phantom Thread. Alex, you haven't seen that yet either have you this movie

I haven't seen phantom thread or the post I've seen all the other so is phantom thread fucking masterpiece it's not out yet it is so good I don't think it's out yet here

or I love it where do we even start with this literally everything is great about it it's well shot it's not as it's not as like spectacly in terms of its filmmaking and cinematography as some other

Paul Thomas Anderson films but at the same time doesn't really need to be. No, it's very reserved and mature. I, um, yeah, I, perfect. Very well written, very, very well acted, uh, really kind of fucked up in a delightful, playful way. Um, it's, it's sweet at the same time.

Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. It's a perfect little mix. I'm glad you said disturbing because everybody was talking about how many times I said that in my 2015 video. They're like, take a shot. Oh, yeah? Take a shot if Adam says this.

disturbing. You know what? I did note that while I was watching. Yeah. You know what? It's like I record that shit over the course of like weeks. And so it's like I don't remember. Yeah.

Yeah. I did the same thing on mine. I fucking kept saying. Yeah. There's some words. Wonderful. Anyway. Awesome PTA film.

I would give it a nine out of ten. I don't expect it to win best picture at all. I don't, I don't expect that. But, you know, it's there. Is actually going to win? What do you think is the winner? Let's go through all the rest of the nominations then. We'll say that.

Okay. The post I haven't seen yet. I could have. Me either. I just thought, you know what? It's a Steven Spielberg film and it looks exactly like a Steven Spielberg film. So, you know, he makes good, acceptable movies at this point.

But when's the last time he's made something like truly exceptional, you know? I'm trying to think. Schindler's list. Maybe catch me if you. you can catch me if you can i think is pretty great i only saw that's more that's more that's way more playful yeah i prefer playful spillberg to serious oscar beat spilberg yeah i enjoyed what i saw catch me if you can if you can uh i only saw a little bit on tv but i know i have to watch it i've heard very good things about it um it's very very

good current spielberg is really just kind of like do you want to watch a movie that by the end of it you'll say that was all right and that was kind of good because i don't yeah it's just this thing when you got They have, there's so many talented people working on that movie and they're all sleepwalking through it, but they're all talented anyway, so they end up making something good. I just, just, just nothing exciting to me about watching a movie like that. I would, it's like, yeah, duh, it's good. It's all these talented people making a movie. I want to see two kinds of movies. I want to see exceptionally great films and I want to see exceptionally terrible films. I don't, I don't want to see movies that I just, I forget about in a week. I want to see some kind of.

of exception. I want to see some kind of I want to be impressed in some way. And even if that's just being impressed with how bad it is, at least that's an experience, you know? Like, I just... Again, none of us have seen the post, so we don't know.

Yeah. I'm just... I'm, we're explaining why we haven't seen it. Because, you know, it's at a wide release. I'm sure we all could have seen it. I'm sure it's out in the UK. I've had many opportunities to see it. And I've just like, nah, I'd rather

stay home and jerk off. I didn't feel that motivated if I'm honest I'd rather stay home and sniff Jencom yeah man next we got best picture nomination The Shape of Water I enjoyed it magnificent movie have you seen it yet Alex

Alex yeah I've seen it why don't you talk you talk about it first because I really really enjoyed it I thought it was it wasn't quite Pans Labyrinth Fibble of course I don't think anything he directs ever will be No, but I just enjoyed how it's kind of on the nose in a lot of ways, but there's something just charming about it.

This is just something about his directing and the way he just writes that, I don't know, there's just something that really works about it. And it's so everything he makes feels like a fairy tale. And there's just something so compelling about that. Okay, you know, films of this, of this. Stupid. Yeah, I forgot about a specific room. Yeah. Not everything, but this and Pan's Labyrinth very much both feel like fairy tale films.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's when he's at his strongest You know what's what's crazy? I don't know I guess I'm just going to ask you Alex What kind of budget do you think the film had If you don't know already I wouldn't know off the top of my head

What's your best guess? I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess 40 45 Okay I know how much it costs too cost 19.5 million. 19. Wow. That guy, that guy really,

it looks like it, it looks like a hundred million dollar movie. Yeah, it does. You know what costs 45 million? Cloverfield Paradox. Oh, God.

No. My roommate told me that. I couldn't even fucking believe. Yeah. Well, it just says if you, if you have talent and you know what you're doing, you can make a movie for now.

Man, yeah, Giermo, he really figured out how to make it work. And he's so familiar with the process at this point that it's like, I'm not even, I'm not so surprised that he was able to do that. But I am still surprised that he pulled it off in that way, you know. And it looks so good. What was the creature looks amazing. Oh, yeah.

The period, just the way he captured the period. And there's no, it's seamless. It's completely seamless. You know, only like a master like him could. do that. For what for what the film looks like in the final product it seems like it seems like at least a hundred million dollar movie. And it has such a grand scope. Oh yeah about so much there's so many characters. Yeah it has a lot going on. Damn impressive. You do not feel at any point in this film that they were you know pinch and pennies or anything like there's no part about it that feels

like they they were working on a budget with restrictions. It felt like like. It felt like they had all the money in the world. All the money in the world? Not nominated for Best Picture. Speaking of? No, it's not. Oh, okay. I thought it was. Oh, that would have been a great lead in. Holy shit. Would have been a great segue.

Yeah. Sorry. I bet, I bet. Who directed it? What's his face? What's his name? Alien director. Ridley, Ridley Scott. I bet he's super disappointed not to get a Best Picture nom because I think that was his whole thing by recasting Christopher Plummer as the Kevin Spacey was he was like, oh fuck, I won't get an award now. So he replaces Kevin Spacey with Christopher Plummer.

I haven't seen it yet, but I'll see it before the Oscars anyway, because it's nominated for something else. I think Christopher Plummer is actually nominated for supporting, yeah, he is. Yeah, shape of water. It's, you know, it's crazy that we live at a time where a Yiff fan fiction

can be nominated for her best picture. Or a furry... Yeah, I mean, it's a love story between a mute woman and a fish man and I'm just, you know, it's so, we're so progressive now. Too true. We should give ourselves a round of applause.

Woo! We did it, everybody. We did it. We've got Yif at the Oscars. We've got Yiff at the Oscars. I was working on a Jankham movie now. Yiff at the Oscars. And the last nomination we got here for Best Picture is three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri.

And you know what? I fucking loved it. And I've been getting a lot of pushback for loving it so hard. Because there's a lot, a lot of fucking people are really quick to be calling this film out. And a lot of the criticisms that people have, a lot. there's a really popular criticism that the film didn't handle racism in the right way. I'm like, well, I don't know. See, when I watch a movie, I'm not, like, I'm not going to base my rating on how they handled

the politics, you know, I just, I find that completely irrelevant to the quality of the film. If, if, let's say the film is putting its politics above the actual filmmaking, like, if the agenda of what they're trying to say supersedes the characters, then I'm going to have an issue because it's going to detract away from the actual filmmaking. But in this film, it's like, you can have whatever political message you want. I don't care. And even if you, I don't really feel like it was like ham-fisted or anything. Some people do. But the politics matters less to me than the filmmaking itself. Like, I want to be thinking about the filmmaking. What

did you guys think? Especially in this movie. It didn't really. And then the other criticism. what it's about. I mean, it's partly there. That's a lot of people's criticism, and apparently that just ruins the movie for some people. But the other criticism I keep hearing is CG Deer. Okay. I mean, yeah.

Like, if you... That bug me a little. I mean, yeah, there's very minor things that are wrong with this movie that I, you know, I said in my review, it's not a perfect movie. Yeah. And there are some things that, you know, could have been done better.

Also, what's his face Lucas Hedges Hey easily the worst part of the film was Lucas Hedges But at this point I'm just like I'm not gonna let you ruin this for me

He's barely even in it though I barely even noticed Oh yeah that's why I didn't think he was like a main character If he was like a super prominent character Then it probably would have affected my experience more But otherwise at this point

I'm just like I I'm not gonna let you I'm not gonna let you have this power over me Lucas Hedges it didn't ruin the movie and I gave the movie it was the highest rated movie for me of 2017 for me personally

because he wasn't in it very much but the scenes that he was in it where he's like slamming the door like really half-assedly and you know how I was talking about the cashier and ladybird that like held back kind of anger that's exactly what he does that's exactly what he does the entire fucking time

in three billboards as he's expected on paper from the script to be able to show that kind of motion and he doesn't commit to it. He's holding back the entire fucking time and it pisses me off. Anyway, what's going to win? Um, do you want the cynical answer or like what I actually go for the cynical answer first? Uh, I think Lady Bird's going to win because it's the year of women and it has a woman in it and struck. Um, but I, I pick three billboards myself. Well, I would pick good time. Good time is that was a masterpiece, but that was fucking snubbed. That was completely zero nomination.

And I figured it would be. I, I thought, get nominated for actor at least i thought the same thing robert patinson did it like that was the best performance i've ever seen from him i think like that was that was amazing performance i think you know at least three or four nominations that it should have gotten best picture that would have been nice although i wouldn't have expected that best actor totally had room for hit for robert patinson his best actor um best supporting actors supporting actress benny saffty even the guy they meet halfway through the movie that just comes out of nowhere he's great yeah I don't know his name.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know his name. Guy. Really good. Yeah, good time is probably, you know, I might not consider it to be the best film of the year in terms of all factors considered. But it is my favorite film of the year in terms of how bad I want to watch it after I've watched it already. I've seen that movie four times already. I'm not even kidding.

Wow. That's, really, really. I, every once in a while, there will be a movie. that I just see like three times in theaters just because I want to show other people and then I watched it again on Blu-ray I gave it to somebody for Christmas and watched it again.

I've literally seen it four times. I've seen it four times too. Yeah, it's... I've seen it four times and it's endlessly rewatchable, which is shocking. It is, you know, it's such a good time. Yeah. Boo!

Nice one. So I, Alex, did you say what you thought would win? I'm torn I have a feeling Even though I haven't seen it I think Phantom Threads are going to win Just from the buzz around it It's not going to win

I don't think so It's not going to win Yeah Three billboards ladybird Those are the It's yeah I think Three Billboards has a shot

I know that there's a lot of Pushback on it From a lot of like You know article journalists And Yeah people on the internet and yeah

although I'm not sure that the academy would A be aware of those or B really take that into consideration as much see I think they do Because yeah I mean last year with Moonlight I'm not going to argue Moonlight Lala Lans a better movie

I think Lola Lans a better movie personally But I think there was a lot of pushback on Lala Land And because of that They were like all right Moonlight maybe I mean you know That's what I think anyway. I just... But Moonlight's an excellent movie, so I don't have a problem with it.

They're both great. I gave them the same rating. I would have... You know, I'm happy either way. They're both great movies. I would have preferred La La Land as, like, the better film. I'm sincerely hoping that, you know, who the fuck knows? But I'm sincerely hoping that politics didn't play in too much to the winner last year.

Although, who knows really? because, you know, when you open that door and when you say like, okay, we're going to choose a political, like, oh yeah, this will be our black gay movie so that everybody can be happy. I'm just, I'm concerned that, you know, next, the year after, a film like, call me by your name, that could win best picture, but I'm worried that, you know, they might think,

hmm, now we had the gay movie last year sort of thing, you know, when you open that door, then it's like, okay, well, are you really choosing the best film of the year anymore or what you think the best film of the year is or are you just playing a political game and I think in some ways they probably do that that's my main issue with them haven't they they've always been a bit

even the year with Spotlight the year Spotlight one that was very Spotlight's so forgettable than spotlight's a fine movie it's all right I mean there were so many other movies oh yeah spotlight was completely undeserved for best picture but anyway

did that come out 2015 yeah oh and you didn't put it on your list yeah I didn't I didn't think it was listworthy. That's spicy. It's not really. I just, the soundtrack fucking sucked.

The soundtrack was awful. That was, and it was there the whole fucking time. I saw a parody of spotlight, and it's just a guy running around with papers all around Boston. Yeah. And it's that. It just felt like a largely, like, it felt like the film was using its subject matter as a crutch to appear more important than it actually was. and that a lot of people wound up loving the film because it's like, oh, yes, I completely agree with the politics behind this film.

This is an important movie because of the subject matter. When I would rather have people talking about the filmmaking, you know, I would rather have people talking about the acting or the musical composition or the cinematography, you know, otherwise what's the fucking point about the Oscars? Are you going to, is that, you know, is this best picture or is this most important political theme? You know?

I can see that. What are your thoughts, Alex, as a British man? More on spotlight. Anything. Oh, on anything. Well, the political state of Bosnia is an interesting one to go into. If we have time. Yeah, let's do it.

No, move on. Well, I didn't really get to what I thought would win. So I'll just say that real quick. Oh, yeah, that's right. Three billboards has a shot. Call me by your name, I think, has a shot. I'm hoping that it's not

Get Out or Lady Bird or The Post or Darkest Hour, even though I haven't seen those two, but I haven't, you know, I've seen Get Out and Lady Bird they just seem like not as up to far as the other ones that I've seen. Is what's going to win? No, I don't think Lady Bird's going to win Best Picture.

I think that she has a very good shot at winning Best Director, though. Oh, no, I don't think she has a chance at winning Best Show. She might. I think they just nominated. A lot of people may, a big stir in the Golden Globes that women weren't nominated, so they nominated her.

But I don't think she has a chance of winning. I think Guillermo's going to win. Maybe. I think she might win best screenplay. Yeah, I can totally see best screenplay. Yeah. And that would be much deserved. But I can also see three billboards winning that. Yeah. Yeah, three billboards doesn't be great screenplay. Then three billboards is definitely going to win best picture. Yeah, there's, I just have, yeah, Lady Bird, call me by your name and three billboards. I think the shape of water might have a shot at being best picture. Really? Yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't consider it as such because like, you have to think about, I don't really even know how the best picture winners are decided if it's like a tiered ranked voting system. If they like, you know, assign certain numbers to them and then just add them up. But it's like, you know, the shape of water is a very easily accessible film. And it's something that I'd imagine the academy would all like. and yeah I mean it's a very like non-controversial kind of kind of win that's how I feel about ladybird though okay well I think shape of water will win all the technical stuff

but not except for cinematography we are going to segue into another part of this podcast so essentially the Oscar nominations were just something new we could talk about we could be talking about anything for the first bit of the podcast doesn't necessarily need to be movie related. But there is a section of the podcast that we're about to get into right now that is going to be consistently movie related. Essentially, every podcast that we record, there will be a new single film that we discuss that we've all seen. And at the end of the podcast, one of us will be recommending a film to be discussed for the next episode. So, we're recording once every two weeks

so everybody will have two weeks to watch the film so if you want to at home be a part of the discussion yourself and watch the film introduce yourself to something new or maybe something you've seen before and give yourself a refresher we'll all be talking about a predetermined film for the week after that we'll discuss

at the end of the episode so for this episode we were thinking about what to talk about and apparently all three of us just happened to watch the new Cloverfield Paradox film last night Masterpiece. Completely unclosed. It's called, I think it's called

the Cloverfield Paradox. Yeah, it is. It is. The Cloverfield Paradox, which showed up out of nowhere and we just all happened to see it so we might as well fucking talk about this one because, you know,

there was no, we didn't have anything to be recommended in episode negative one or zero. So, yeah, why don't, now, before we talk about this one, do you want to recommend next two weeks? from now. No, that'll be at the end of the podcast. Ah, okay. We talked about

this! We did! You forgot! Yeah, Ralph, you damn idiot. Dude, I'm always on drugs, I don't know. Too much jencum. Too much jencum. God. So, who wants to talk about this? Let's let Alex talk about this, because we had the majority

of this discussion in the Oscars thing, so... It's fresh in my mind because I watched it today. Oh, no. Oh, boy. So, what's it called again? I've already forgotten. The Cloverfield part. Philadelphia Paradox. Cleverfield Paradox. Wait, wait, wait.

Before you get into it, I should announce that this is going to be a spoiler discussion. So if nobody wants spoilers for this film for any reason, there will be a timestamp posted in the description, however you're watching this. We're going to start on YouTube. We'll probably upload iTunes and Spotify or something. But we're going to start for YouTube and just see what the fuck happens. But there will be a timestamp in the description if you want to skip the spoiler discussion. So if you want to watch the film first,

either like pause it or skip this part and come back to it or whatever, the designated film discussion sections are all going to be spoiler talks. So before we ever get into this section, we should just mention spoilers. Yeah. The Cloverfield Paradox.

Continue. Spoilers. So the Cloverfield paradigm, paradox, whatever it's called, is great comedy set in the Cloverfield universe. Which is this horrible, mismash of story ideas that kind of only exist to combine the previous two COVID-built movies. The story is about this.

The world is like run out. It's just the story of that video game Dead Space pretty much. Like the world has run out of resources, but there's one crew that can go into space. And if they succeed in their mission, they'll have infinite energy and everything will be awesome. But things go wrong along the way in the other dimensions. and yeah and things quickly devolve into nonsense

that makes you laugh out loud because it's so ridiculous one more thing spoiler warning for the previous two Cloverfield films also we're going to we are forced to spoil all three Cloverfield films

so just getting that out there if you don't want those spoiled let's just say the first I think the first two are very good I like um well I haven't seen the first one a long time but the whatever the other one was called I like that one up until the last 10 minutes

You know what? Yeah I'm not sure if you're fucking aware of this But the last 10 minutes We're not in the original script There was an entire fucking movie that was made Or sorry, not made There was an entire script that was written

An entire concept And it was just supposed to be called Like the seller or something Like some, nothing to do with Cloverfield J.J. Abrams picked it up Was like, hey, you want to You want to be successful in Hollywood, right kid? Well, no one's

gonna give you any fucking money except me and the only way I'm gonna do that is if your movie's shit now so so I'm gonna take this I'm gonna shit all over it and then you can have your movie you wanna you wanna make it in Hollywood

don't you kid that's how I imagine the conversation went anyway I think I think he talks like that I like the idea of using when the cameras are off is this springboard for like science fiction stories and cinema I you know I don't that's what I thought it was supposed to be

I really fucking don't Because 10 Cloverfield Lane has nothing to do with Cloverfield. It literally does not. So they literally just... It's not even the monster from the first Cloverfield. No, it's not. But then this one acts as if both of them exist in the same universe. And I'm like, what the fuck?

The 10 Cloverfield Lane, it's... They just, they added in that slusho shot at the gas station or whatever. It's like they just threw that in there. It's like, oh, slusho, remember that brand from the first Cloverfield? And then at the end, just the car driving away and hits the fucking mail box. box and it says 10 Cloverfield laying on it. It's like, okay, those are the only things that connected. And then, like, the monsters, they could have been monsters from another movie.

Even with that 10 minutes in the, the end of the movie, like, that really, that still didn't really have anything to do with the first Cloverfield. Yeah, it didn't. It really didn't. And it's like, it pissed me off because there is so much fucking substance to the movie without it having anything to do with Cloverfield that I wish I just saw the real movie, you know? Me too.

I mean, the advantage is, though, you could. kind of just shut off the movie before the last 10 minutes and you got a really good movie yeah that's not a advantage this new one has because the whole movie is fucking terrible I can't put out anything this is true can we just start with the opening scene and how it felt like they shot the whole movie and then they were like we need a scene that's the kind of scene you have an hour in to me it's in it's like what the fuck is going on the first shot of this movie is like a handheld outside of the car and it's just some woman walks into a car you're like

what the fuck is going on? And the color grading is so bad. And the scene itself, the dialogue is like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just regurgitating exposition. And then you go to outer space and you're like, what the fuck is this now? It's like a different movie.

You know, the, that entire scene was just so cancerous, incredibly cancerous. It was because like, it was like birdemic levels of, of exposition delivery. Where it's like,

there was no room for any, any semblance of realism or character growth like what they thought was character growth was oh so she has a husband oh look she misses her family look at look at what the video she's looking at out the window of the spaceship look she's a related she's a relatable character now can't you tell she has a family you have a family at home right wow can't you relate

to this character fuck yeah do you guys learn deaf as well like yeah One thing that really stood out to me was the incredibly strangely placed humor. I don't know if you guys really noticed that, but there's this one character who's supposed to be like, he's just from like a sitcom who's just in there, who laughs and jokes about everything while everyone else is being serious. And that was bloody weird. And like, is it supposed to be a horror film? Is it supposed to be an action film? Like, what is this even supposed to be? What is the, what is it?

Is it a drama? Is it just supposed to be alien? From what I heard, there were lots of rewrites while the movie was going on. Oh, really? I mean, it's abundantly clear. Not surprised. Yeah, not at all. And I feel like there was this whole space movie, and then they just added in this boyfriend character and all his shit on Earth.

It feels like a totally different movie. Did you guys notice how literally nobody in the film said the word Cloverfield except people on the intercom radio thing? Yes. So, like, there was the new movie. newscaster and he's like, this is going to be the Cloverfield Paradox or whatever fuck it was like, it seems as though that was added in after the movie was filmed.

And that like the, the shot of the slusho bobblehead in this film, that's such an easy additional shot. You can just film that at any point. There was nothing else in the shot that really related to anything. I mean, there was no actors in it.

It was just a shot of the bobblehead. Literally just a bobblehead of slusho. Why was there a bubblehead? Did you guys? did you guys notice how they they continued the title credits

motif from the 10 Cloverfield Lane? I don't know if that's... Yeah. With the lines? Yeah, the lines. It doesn't fit. Well, yeah, because 10 Cloverfield Lane was the first incident. It wasn't in the first Cloverfield. But when they used it in 10

Cloverfield Lane, it was supposed to symbolize the underground bunker to like It was genius. It was to give depth to the setting in the film and the themes, right? And then they did that in this film. And I'm like, you guys realize that it, there's nothing about this film that justifies that.

And you're literally just grasping at straws to try and make a connection to the other films in the franchise, right? They literally don't understand what makes a movie good. Well, that line. Anything. You're talking about the line going from the... Yeah, the line. You can see it in a poster and the... Yeah, yeah.

I guess like some of the lines are going up now, so it's like, oh, we're in space. I guess they're trying to do the... Yeah, there's lines going down. One's going up. I guess it was supposed to be the two dimensions, like mirroring each other. It really doesn't fit as well. I mean, it serves so much more purpose in 10 Cloverfield Lane. Yeah, it was just a fit in.

Really lame. Did you find the opening credits? Oh, God, there's so much to talk about. We're all fucking, like... There's a certain thing that's really like, they just made me scream of laughter, because I just wasn't expecting it. Unintentional humor. Be it,

you know, they've got the football game thing. Do you remember the shot where it zooms in on like one of the football characters and it just starts spinning? Out of nowhere. The foosball?

Yeah, that was hilarious. I found that it's so funny. I was like, are the demons playing. Nothing ever came of that. The demons are playing foosball. Yeah. And it was like,

so inconsistent in terms of that kind of thing. Like, and then nothing makes any sense like why things just start happening like why do worms just put inside that guy the why does that guy's arm just disappear in the wall the the

it wasn't like demons it was like sorry that was my doorbell um I'm not getting it I have roommates uh it wasn't demons it was you know it was like what was it like the other the two dimensions are like time warp and so like

yeah it almost I don't know because the way that they explained it in the film was like like oh yeah we tried to quantum entanglement blah blah blah and now it's like the two universes are like wow we can't both exist simultaneously blah blah blah

but then it's like yeah the way that characters die in this film also one at a time just conveniently whenever they need to it just seems like the universe just doesn't like them and and they just die just because it's their turn to die like the guy gets his arm sucked into the wall

and he loses his arm or whatever and for the rest of the film I'm just thinking like there's no one concerned that that could happen again like no one's ever like are you guys just okay with that having happened once and just thinking like yeah that was weird and let's move on with our day like I mean I would

the script needed them to die what about the fucking guy he's he's um it's it's it's the black dude he goes into the thing and he closes the door and locks it he's like this door needs to be locked in order for the thing to work and then he goes off from space and die Yeah, the sacrifice. And it's like, why do you have to lock the door? What is that even?

That was just like, I knew that was coming. All of these space movies have to have the heroic sacrifice movement. It had every cliche, even just in terms of sci-fi content. Oh, yeah. Parallel universes, people and walls, monsters, worms. Hey, have you seen Alien? Yeah, it's just a mix of all the shit. And it takes none of the good stuff from any of these sci-fi movies.

It's just the bad stuff. This is, like, if you've ever seen a sci-fi trope, it's in this film. Every single fucking sci-fi movie trope all the way up to the oh, I got to do this by myself, the computer needs a person

to manually blah blah blah. I gotta sacrifice myself, you go that way. And then she said something like, no, I can actually do it remotely. He's like, no, don't worry about, like, they just brushed it off. Go off for that.

Yeah. Yeah, that's every single fucking trope and cliche that's ever existed in a space horror film is in this movie. And I thought, The jump scare. The woman in the wall, and you hear, like, this monster screeching?

What is that? And it's only, like, briefly. Yeah, all the sound cuts out, and the woman puts her head to the wall, and you hear, it's like, why is this woman only screaming, like, a little bit every once in a while that scare the audience, and not just consistently. She has fucking wires running through her whole body. I thought that the most cliched space horror movie I'd ever seen would be life from 2017. I was about to bring that up.

And yet somehow it felt like this film was even derivative of that. Somehow. It's like a watered-down version of a watered-down science fiction movie. It's the most watered-down. It's like inception. It's the most watered-down and derivative and uninspired a science fiction film could possibly be. And they decided this would work great for the Cloverfield universe. That's the best part.

Oh, yeah. It's all the parallels with the tie-ins of Cloverfield. know what though? In a way, it was a smart business decision because you have this property and the original title of the film was supposed to be the god particle. Think about it. No one would have fucking seen this movie unless it said Cloverfield. They like literally nobody would have fucking seen it and all of a sudden you just attach Cloverfield on the front of it. Just like, uh yeah, this is the Cloverfield universe. We'll have some for some answered questions guys. I'm JJ Abrams. I've made a career off of blueballing people. Fuck off.

I don't even know about that, because this movie is so bad that they saw it and went, no one's going to see this in a theater. So let's fucking sell it to Netflix and just throw it on on a Monday. Literally. And just have people watch it that way. That's how bad it was. I don't even understand how they sold it. Because what science fiction concept is in this movie that, like, a producer went,

wow, that's really interesting. We have to make this movie. Because there's nothing. There's nothing original or intense or creative about a single thing in this movie. it is you know the the cloverfield films have some of the most interesting marketing i've ever seen and all the way up from the original i don't know if you guys were i don't know how old you guys were when the original came out um i was like 12 i love the marketing i um i was totally on board when it oh dude i was so fucking obsessed with um the whole mystery behind the first film essentially they

released Cloverfield 2008 they released a trailer found footage it it was at a point in time where found footage hadn't been beaten to death yeah it was not in the like horror film found footage cancer explosion that happened shortly after yeah and so they released this trailer people at a party there's clearly some sort of you know end-of-the-world thing happening shit flying into buildings the fucking head of the statue of liberty like falling into the street and like oh my god

and just like from these little tiny clues that they left in the trailer of people saying like there was this huge discussion online of people debating what people were saying in the trailer and somebody said it's alive it's huge

and there were actually people that were like no he said it's a lion it's huge the monster's a big lion I know Like, so people, there is this whole online discussion over like what the monster would be. And the trailer never showed. They would pause. They would pause the trailer and like circle the monster in the background. It was genius, genius marketing.

And, and. They didn't even say the title of the movie in the trailer. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that too. It was absolutely genius marketing. Some of the best marketing I've ever seen. And, um, and so, you know, not showing the monster, not even technically making it obvious that there was a monster at all. first watched the trailer, I thought, like, oh, like, you know, meteors or something. Like, I don't know.

Like, some end of, it's an end of the world scenario for sure, but it could have just been like a Roland Emmerich natural disaster kind of thing. I don't know. But, um, yeah, people figured out that there was a monster and there was this huge online debate over what the monster was. And, and like, um, all this discussion going down on like the IMDB discussion boards, rest in peace. and they had websites made for the company Slusho and so people were scavenging these websites for clues that literally ultimately led nowhere but there was so much of a fucking hype train behind this movie

I remember I saw it in theaters the day it came out and as soon as the trailers ended and it was quiet like right before the opening title some guy was like it's a giant snake like like like as though they were like calling what the movie was supposed to or what the what the

what the monster was supposed to be it was so funny and I mean like yeah ultimately the movie is fine it's good it's not I really love it there's I I loved it a lot more when I was younger than I do now

there's parts of it that like kind of pissed me off and are annoying at this point as I'm older but it's still you know a passable fun exhilarating found footage film but the marketing behind it is like the most notable

feature I think and so it's funny that they've continued this marketing trend across all of these different Cloverfield films and the quality of the films I mean 10 Cloverfield Lane was great the last 10 minutes sucked but this film is just like this is garbage this is fucking garbage it really is can we talk about the final shot of the film

oh yeah that's the best part we can talk about everything I rewinded it because I was like did I just see what I just saw. I was just so dumbfounded by what I'd seen. It just came out of nowhere and it's like, is that a reveal? Is that supposed to be like a surprise?

We saw it earlier. Yeah, it meant nothing. And then the film ends and it's like, what does that mean? You've just opened a whole other than the avenue of storytelling with this, what happened just here and you end it there. You know, what are you doing?

And it's not even like, oh, what's going to happen now? It's like a, so what? so what that happened? How is that going to impact anything? What is that? What do I give a shit? The great. So everything meant nothing then.

Okay, great. Basically. You have a movie. You have the god particle. Somebody decides, we're going to attach, we're going to make this a Cloverfield movie. But in doing so, as soon as you create these other scenes and ideas where it's like, there are monsters on the ground and earth and the invasion and holy fuck all this action happening. By the end of the film, it's abundantly clear that.

there were more interesting things going on than the film that we watched. That there's an entire story that you revealed to have been happening on earth or elsewhere, and you chose to give us the product of the least interesting characters and sequence of events out of the whole event that happened. You revealed to us that there are things happening that we would have probably enjoyed watching, but instead you gave us this this bullshit you know the characters are so bad

every single one of them I think God the fucking Russian guy they're like they have the Russian and the German facing off against each other like oh it's like an allegory like how smart we are oh my God was it it's just stunk

did you like how there was a character that only spoke in Mandarin but could understand everybody speaking English and everybody could understand her so it's like why are you not they would switch between languages halfway through sentences? I'm like, why the fuck is this even in here?

That was a little odd. This is... Perhaps they're planning on releasing it in theaters in China. Maybe that's a common theme for films nowadays is like, how do we market to China? It's a huge market. Let's make the movie dumb. Fuck, Kung Fu Panda, you know? I mean, it's doing well in China.

Can we talk about the visual effect? that look like they're out of, they're from 2002. Yes, we can. Although I swear to God, I swear to God, some of them are 40p. They were like blurry. I'm like, what the fuck?

It didn't. The Cloverfield monster at the end looked like it had no bones in it. It just looked like flesh. It was so bad. Yeah, it certainly wasn't an improvement from like the 2008 film. No. You know? I think the 2008 movie looks.

pretty damn good, especially for the time. Oh, yeah. I mean, more of the sound, the sound design really sells that movie, too. But we can get into Cloverfield another time. Yeah, I... There was something that really confused me, though. Like, so the Cloverfield monster in this movie,

is it the same one as the original? I... Oh, yeah. That doesn't look like it. It doesn't look like it. It doesn't look the same. No, it is. Like, how fucking tall is it? The design was, yeah, I think that's the taller. They got the proportion all wrong, and apparently this movie is supposed to take place. at the same time, right?

But there's no fucking way. And we didn't have we didn't have spaceships in 2008 but like that. There's time stamps on the dates in the original film. Like you can tell what dated it is because their camera says it.

In the original film were they in like a depression like the whole world like low on fuel? No, it was just normal. No it wasn't. Yeah, it was just like they've never even mentioned it. It did not account for those kind of fucking things. And so like apparently there's people that think like oh so it is and it isn't sort of thing.

you know, like maybe it's another other dimension where the same things are kind of happening and there's more than two you know, like perhaps that's the case. Either way, whether it's the same monster or it's not the same monster, the marketing for this film is brutally fucking dishonest in terms

like, I didn't even see the Super Bowl ad until after I watched the movie and I just watch it, I'm like, you fucking assholes. Totally missal it. There was the part in the trailer where they show the explosion from the original Cloverfield? And then they cut to the character

reacting to a completely different explosion in the Cloverfield, the new one. And they act as if it's the same explosion, but it isn't. That's fucking bullshit. That was like Russian's attacking, right? Or some shit like that? I don't even remember. This movie's so bad by by Drake's trying to get rid of it. Jay fucking Abrams has made his entire

career off of being a dishonest piece of shit and marketing films and TV shows that are meant only to blueball people and pretend to give answers when they don't actually fucking do. That's why they brought up the parallel universe thing.

That's what he fucking does. That's the epitome. The parallel universe thing is the epitome of just giving up. It's like time travel. Like, oh, we don't know what to do. So, oh, that took place in a parallel universe or the time travel back to fucking fix this.

Are you guys old enough to remember all the fucking hype around Lost? Yeah. Yeah. Remember all that shit? I refuse to watch it because I I have very good accounts from people who have watched it about how pissed off they are, about how nothing gets explained and how nothing makes any fucking sense.

And this entire promise from the marketing of the show of saying like, you want to figure out what the fuck is happening, right? Oh, you never will. Sorry. Ha ha, got you. Like, that's his whole fucking thing with Cloverfield now. He's literally just... That's this thing with everything.

He's scooping up films that have nothing to do with Cloverfield at all and pretending as though it's going to explain the fucking universe better. Dude, this entire movie was made before it was even related to Cloverfield. Like, you fucking asshole. Yeah, and you can tell. You piece of shit. What a turn.

It's such a bad way to write. It's dishonest. It's insanely dishonest. It pisses me up. To make a whole movie and then just to keep adding on to it, all this bullshit. Yeah. And then act as if oh, now we're going to explain everything. Oh, yeah. I have the answers. He doesn't even

fucking know. No one knows. You know, the truth is, 10 years ago he made a fucking movie, and it was pretty good. He wanted to make an American Godzilla movie. And now he acts as if he has a whole plan. Oh, I have a whole universe planned out. You don't have shit. Yeah.

This would all be fine and dandy, like the exact same approach and connected film universe sort of thing. Even if it was still hung together by a thread, as long as it didn't contradict the other films. And more importantly, if they were all good, you know, like this film, shit to begin with. Ten Cloverfield Lane, somehow even more upsetting because it was a great film that you raped and shat on. You know? Yeah.

Like, it's, absolutely. You're making things worse by your approach to how you're doing these films. And it just pisses me off. That, A, you would take an awesome script that didn't need you to shit on it and then just shit on it and be like, ha-ha, it's Cloverfield now. and then B, take a film that nobody should have fucking watched that didn't need to be made, that didn't need to be distributed and, and shared with the masses, and then lie to people. Straight to VHS.

Fucking lie to people and pretend like it explains the universe of these other films that people actually like, just so you can make some fucking money. You're lying to people. Fuck. Absolutely. Even when you put aside all that, I mean, that's what we're saying. all the marketing and all the Cloverfield and the fucking

Cloverfield monster thing at the end that looks like it's out of food fight when you take all that aside the movie itself is fucking horribly written the acting is bad the sets are awful it looks like they wanted to imitate the Martian

an alien or Prometheus and something or something they had no clue what they were doing and it's all blue and orange it looks disgusting everything about it makes no sense sense. It's so bad. This is one of those movies where the characters

all look like actors. And they're like they were supposed to believe that they're like scientists and astronauts and shit. But they all just look like young, dumb, fucking pretty actors. Like there's nothing about them. I can believe

that they're their characters. They're just fucking actors. We keep describing them using the word character. But that's an insult to the word character and what it means. because like the way these characters, I did it myself, the way these things are written they're technically characters. Yeah, they're technically characters, but they're all, they're just a motivation. All of them, it's like a first, first draft of a first draft, they wrote,

this character is, this motivation, needs to do this and die. Like, for every character. And like, they didn't elaborate on that in any way. So that's all it is. Like, it's so pointless. There's nothing to it. They don't exist to. be characters that you can find believable or relatable

they literally exist to be plot devices so that the film can get from point A to point B And that's that's that's just start having middle and then end exactly It's like it it's like it's at that kind of thing which is so incredibly common that just makes me think To the writers or director like have you lost the fucking plot? Why are you making the movie? Are you making a movie so so it can get from this shitty plot point to this shitty plot point? Like, why not make a movie to make something that people enjoy that they can relate to, that can change their mind about something or open them to a new experience or impress them? Or, you know, why even fucking make a movie?

Oh, yeah, money. That's hard. Yeah. Oh, yeah. How hard did you roll your eyes when you found out the main characters, like, entire arc, and motivation? You know, the main character, her whole... story how predictable and

you know I was less focused on her whole arc of like oh yeah I want my other self to be fine and also not really explain things as well as I could have in that given amount of time she's like on the phone like oh by the way you're not crazy but I'm me

you know what I would have fucking said I would have I would have given a piece of information that only I would have known. If I got a phone call from somebody just saying like, you're not crazy. This is me. Turn off your electricity because it's bad. Don't steal it. And also hug your family.

Like, I mean, you got to be a bit more fucking persuasive unless she knows herself so well that she knows she's a fucking idiot who will believe anything she hears on the phone. Because that's also a likely possibility. But yeah, it's one of those movies. It's so dumb. start thinking like, am I not paying attention enough? These characters are doing things that I don't even understand why they're doing them. You know what?

I'm actually really glad this was a Netflix release because I had to rewind a couple times to figure out what the fuck they were trying to say here. I know! I've literally rewound the film like at least three times like, wait, what? Are they serious? Like, is this what they're doing? Is this what they're trying to say? Like, my God.

Did you like the Skype conversations? she would have with the boyfriend and it looked like it was shot on an ARIA Alexa. Like how hard is it? I know you two probably complain about this all the time but like just get a computer and fucking record that scene with a computer monitor or a computer camera

a webcam. It would be so much better. More believable at least. Can we talk about how literally zero scientists and astronauts ever would ever suggest trying to warp backwards through quantum entanglement.

I'm sorry, you're in this universe right now. You have this payload or, you know, this fucking infinite energy thing, and you could bring it to this earth or whatever. You've got somebody who's from this earth that can explain the ins and outs of whatever's the fuck's going on anyway. Are you serious? You're most, they all decided pretty fucking unanimously. like, yeah, if we just do the same thing backwards, we'll wind up back at the same place.

I'm sorry. You seem to have a pretty fucking firm grasp on quantum entanglement, despite the fact that you even being here was a complete fucking mistake that warped a girl... It warped a girl into the fucking wires of your ship. You don't think that could be a potential risk

of happening again? You don't want to fucking maybe take some precautions? You don't want to have like a talk about how that's the stupidest fucking idea ever and no one would ever do that? When the world goes missing or whatever, Earth goes away and they look at all the cameras, they're like all the different camera feeds. They don't see Earth. And then the Chinese lady runs to her room to look out the window just to make sure that Earth isn't out there. I'm like, you fucking saw every camera feed on the entire ship. Like, oh, I'm going to look at my window and now I'm going to see Earth, hopefully.

Did you notice how many scenes there were? were where there was some kind of argument going on where one character thought one thing and the other character had a differing opinion. There was a lot of forced drama. But the conclusion of it was incredibly strange to me because it just took like a couple of lines and then the person who originally had a problem with it was suddenly like, actually no, yeah, you're right. Let's do that right away.

Let's not even question it anymore. Let's go. Let's go right now. Let's go. Yeah. The music. Yeah, and the music was making me laugh. Oh, my God.

It sounded like they recorded the score on Garage Band. Really? It was so bad. It was a bad score. I wouldn't be surprised. Did you enjoy how subtle the overall film was? It wasn't as subtle as Birdemic. Like, your comparison is apt.

Have you guys seen Evil Dead 2? Uh-huh. Great movie. You know how Bruce Campbell's arm gets possessed, and it's presented as a gag in film? Oh yeah. You know how they did that in this film and it was not presented as a gag? Uh-huh.

They did it like it was a serious dramatic thing. I'm sorry. You're supposed to be horrified. How do people so quickly come to the conclusion looking at a hand that's writhing around on the ground trapped in a transparent box that you just happen to have on hand? What is that glass box that you have that you just trap? Whatever that is, you just had it laying around. Like, oh, you know, it's a hand, it's an arm trapper.

We have those. on hand. On hand, but um... Why would... Why could the arm move on its own, though? I don't know. And it's like, how did they come to the conclusion so quickly?

It's trying to write something. Who would say that? I think it's trying to write something. Let's give it a pen. What? How do... I don't... It made no fucking sense. None of it did.

Piss me off. It's just nonsense. The scene with the guy's eye and his eye would go all over the place. I like that. And he was like, what? What? That was hilarious. Why did he try to kill everybody? I don't know.

Everyone's just... The 3D printed gun? Yeah. That was fucking hilarious. Did he 3D print the ammunition and cartridges too, or what? Yep. I guess so. He 3D printed gravity, too.

What? Ugh. I don't even know if bullets would work in space. I don't... Well, I mean, they, I mean... I mean, I could be wrong. At what point were they shooting it not in the... I don't know.

They were always shooting at here. Okay, so the way the ship is constructed from what I can see, it's rotating constantly, and that's what creates the gravity, right? Because... Well, you'd still have a force from, you know, whatever... You know what, you're totally right. Not wrong. This movie's a fucking masterpiece.

You're right. I'm sorry. I mean... It's okay. You're still young. I know. just a little baby boy. That's why I go to liberal arts school.

Oh, okay. I hear there's lots of jobs in liberal arts related fields. I hear that that's a surefire way to make money. Uh-huh, absolutely. It's a thriving industry. Yeah. Especially with movies like this being made. When the world ends and we all get warped in quantum entanglement and Cloverfield Monster happens,

the top jobs that the government is going to ask for. when we try to repopulate the planet. First, art teacher. Second, art teacher's assistant. Music teachers. Yes. Chorus instructors. Absolutely necessary.

You've got a bank on, you've got a bank on JJ Abrams approaching you and saying, hey, you see that film you're making? Imagine Cloverfield in the TV. You put a monster in there, mate. What would I call it? King Candy Field. Yeah.

Cloverfield. Because the film is called Lover. Yeah. So they would just take Cloverfield and highlight Lover in it. Yeah. It's perfect. I got to call up JJ right now. Yo, Jay-J!

I've actually had a friend. I have a friend who knows JJ and talk to him on the phone. Really? And JJ's just, yeah, he gave him some life advice and some filmmaking advice. He's a very good guy, apparently. Can we talk about it at the beginning of the movie where they're watching, the news and it looks like a normal news station and then they're like oh okay we have a special guest

here why don't you talk about the experiments they're doing in space right now mister and it's literally some guy just saying you could unleash demons demons you let this guy on it is he some sort of expert on this shit first of all I mean if you are an expert

have there been any other recorded instances of demons being unleashed on Earth? How do you know that this energy source that they're trying to release in space? How do you know that it could release demons and monsters quote, him saying from the past and the future? By the way, this turned out to be true.

How did you get to that fucking conclusion, Mr. Crazy Guy, that they let on the news? He called it the Cloverfield Paradox. Genius. Why did they let him on the news? And how did he fucking know that shit? What about their experiments they were doing in space. First of all, how would he have all of the details and

schematics for exactly what they were doing to create this energy? Second, how did he know that it would do that? I just don't understand how can you write something this contrived and terrible and not have someone along the line, along the due process, read it and say, none of this makes any sense. We're not going forward with this. We're shutting this down because this is so stupid. I would almost expect that from a production. If let's say JJ and bad robot and all these quote-unquote professionals were involved on the project from day one, you would expect that. But it seems like the whole movie was made and then they just added a couple extra shots and lines to make it something that they could sell as a Cloverfield film.

So I don't know which one's better or worse at this point. I really don't. They're just equally bad. Which one's more embarrassing? They're just cynical business decisions. Like, it's not even thinking about the end product at all. It's totally about just business and advertising. They did, you know, when it seems like they don't give a shit,

it's probably because they don't give a shit. Yeah. J.J. At least Cloverfield Lane was a good product that they got loads of eyes on through adding the shitty bit at the end. But, like, this, it's like, did no one watch this and think, maybe we should choose another project that's being made.

and put Cloverfield on that because that at least might not be the worst thing ever I'm not even I'm not even fucking kidding as soon as the movie was over I just I had this This this this imagination of of just J.J. Abrams Looking online and seeing the shitty reviews and how people think his the new Cloverfield paradox film is shit and I just I just imagined him like on a sunny like resort golf course somewhere taking a sip of some some some alcoholic beverage with his legs crossed and just thinking like,

eh, looking on his phone and just like, being like, whatever, and like smirking to himself. Like, I'm not going to care about that because I've made money.

I literally just had that vision in my head as soon as I finished the film. I'm like, this is what he's probably doing right now. I mean, he won. He sold it to Netflix. They paid him and that was the end of it.

And the rest of it's kind of irrelevant. And we'll all forget about it. It's just, I think this is going to be one of the worst movies of the year, like one. It's all said and done by the end of this year. I think this is going to make it on most of the list.

I, before I watched the film, it was at a 6.9 rating on IMDB right before I watched the film. By the time I had finished the film, it was at a 6.4. Now the next day it's at a 6.0. Seems to be just going down.

Wow. So it'll be 5.0 something by the end when it levels out, I guess. But like that Netflix film, bright has like a 6.1. something in Jesus Christ. Is it better than Bright? No. Bright's better. Yeah, it's worse than Bright's better.

I mean, I haven't seen Bright. Bright, I was expecting something that was as bad as suicide squad and I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't. It was still a mess and boring and not good, but it wasn't nearly as bad as what I thought it would be. I mean, it's competent, right? One more thing. It has like a script.

I just found it boring. Really dull. So the netherworld was like making the magnetic thing happen with the guy with no arm and he like the the good wrapped around his face. And was that what was moving? It was so confusing. It was like the goop thing was like the from the little, you know, like the cocking gun or whatever he had. Yeah, they kept showing him. He was like per energy.

And then he used a bunch of it. And then like all the everything metal started flying to the wall opposite of him. But then the goop like wrapped around him was like here, this, your mind now. And then and then literally it, not even kidding, it's a CO2 canister. A compressed CO2 canister gets sucked to the wall, hits the wall, and then the whole room explodes. Did it make like a spark or something?

Like what happened? I mean, it's CO2. I love to that as well. What did they say it was in there? Like that it was just a bunch of... They said there's like concentrated levels of oxygen not to like light a match because it'll explode.

They said that before. But it was just a CO2 canister that that hit the wall. That was really weird. I thought that was one of the worst scenes in the movie where it just made no sense. And it had to get to this point. I mean...

Dude, there's so many bad scenes. I don't even remember that. I just... You know, okay. If we're gonna, if we're gonna accept... the logic of this alternate universe just conveniently picking off characters for no fucking reason if we accept that and pretend as though that's consistent

still the missing arm moving by itself doesn't make any sense like that that doesn't tie into anything like that that has no relation with anything they've explained at all in the entire film like i don't straight out of a different film it's like yeah i mean was he who was controlling that arm was it him in the other Because like in the other universe the ship had crashed and they were like dead in the ocean So like what it whose arm was that? Arms can't move on where did it come when your arm is cut off it doesn't start like running around Like this is connect to like a nervous system and yeah I mean like it

Who was who wrote that down and who knew? Who knew like what the arm was supposed to write to write it down that You know? Why? They said they just told one of the plot points that makes the arm told them to cut the guy open and they cut the guy open and what they found like the why did the arm know that yeah an arm doesn't have a brain

even if like let's let's say that the arm was connected to the alternate universe version of the guy with no arm let's say that it was his arm from another universe that showed up in this one how still

I mean like did the guy in the other universe see that guy, the possessed guy, eat this big box or like surgically insert it into himself? Or what happened there to make... I don't understand. It makes literally no sense. It's nothing about it. Zero fucking sense.

No sense at all. Is that kind of an attitude that just stuns me there? Here's a question. Is there anything good about the smoothie? No. I've been thinking on it for a few days and I can't think I... I'm giving it a two out of ten. But only because of... I want to give it a two.

Like, I can't even think of a reason to give it a two. You know? Like, I can't think of anything I like. The only reason I'm... I think some of the shots are okay. I'm giving it a... That's it, though. I'm giving it a two because of so many other films that I've seen that are worse than this, that would be ones.

I guess. I mean, if you want to compare this to bye-bye man, then yeah. I mean, not only is this just an awful movie, but that cynical business angle of it, too. and the fact that they try to market it as part of the series, which has nothing to do. It's like just as bad as Transformers or something like that. Yes. Like when you get to that point, I'm like, you know what?

I think this is a one. I think it deserves a one. It's worthless. It is utterly worthless. It has no meaning of points. There's two more things I want to talk about, and then we can go on to the next section. First of all, the logic of the characters

in terms of why they would want to go back to the, other universe and the logic of the villain for her wanting so she says I'm not gonna let eight billion people die I'm gonna kill these people to let eight billion people live but if you think about it if they were just planning on bringing back the energy source to the other planet wouldn't those eight billion people die and not like I mean you're still killing eight billion people no matter what you do because you're preventing it from existing in one universe and not the other so your logic's a little fucking flawed you know and also

I love how she I love how she went into the fucking escape pod pretended as though she was going to go with the main character and instead of like you know injecting her sedating her or doing anything she just punched her she literally just sucked her in the fucking face and ran away and was like

good on you like my work here is done but then she shoots the other guy oh yeah yeah why didn't you shoot her and then the third guy and then the third guy they just get in a fist fight yeah why didn't she shoot her why didn't you just shoot all three

of them in the head. Seriously, what was that about? You literally just punched her in the face and walked away. And then that fight scene in the little cafeteria. Oh, God. And she gets sucked out of the airlock or whatever. Ugh. That.

I mean, I get another effect that looked like. That's another trope. It looked like PlayStation 1 graphics. That was yet another trope, you know? Like, everything about this is a fucking trope. There's nothing in this film that is original, you know? There's no idea that this film used that was its own idea. Everything's so fucking derivative and uninspired.

It's god-awful. It's taking all the bad stuff from all these movies. It's just not doing it well. I mean, let's take everything from Prometheus that was bad and take none of the good stuff. Let's take the dumb characters, but we won't take any of the good stuff.

Alex, do you have anything to add to that? It's not even like a film. It's just nothing. It's just scenes that are like, oh, that's a bit from Alien. Oh, that's a bit from Event Horizon. and, oh, there's the Cloverfield monster for a minute. The end, it's just fucking pointless.

Nothing about it of worth is utterly just meaningless. The characters, like, this film has nothing to say. What is the purpose of this film existing, aside from it being a product, like a fucking Transformers film? It is nothing. Like, there's nothing to even talk about about it, because it's just nonsense. In two weeks, we'll have all forgotten about it entirely.

I already forgot some of it. Yeah. Honestly. last thing I wanted to talk about with this film before we move on. So at the end of the first Cloverfield, there's that thing that falls from the sky in the background. Is it trying to imply that what fell is the escape pod? Or is it trying to imply that it's a piece of the ship from like when they first tried to warp?

Because if it's either of those things, it still doesn't make sense with the timeline at all. Yeah, it doesn't. It literally does not make any... I didn't even think about that. But... Because in the Cloverfield... Cloverfield monster jumps out of the clouds immediately after.

Yeah. The timeline doesn't sync up at all. I think it's just one of those things where like there's enough within the original Cloverfield that's left up to interpretation intentionally that there'll be enough of an online discussion or debate to be had that will continue making the film relevant. And JJ Abrams is a piece of shit for letting that happen because there are no real answers. They contradicts themselves. and it's literally just a marketing scheme. Yeah. That's what made the original one interesting,

is that it had no answers. So you just kind of left a piece of together yourself. And then there were the stupid people complaining, like, oh, we need everything explained to us. And then you realize once you have everything explained to you, it's a bunch of stupid shit. Yeah. It doesn't mean anything.

When you find out the answer, it's always lame. Yeah, it's always lame. So it's like better just to leave it. It doesn't always have to be lame. Like, there are ways you're, can do it where it's not lame, but it has to be something that's pre-coordinated. It can't be something... Yeah, exactly. If when it was left up to interpretation, it was intentionally left up to interpretation and you didn't have some sort of explanation already lined up,

then explaining it after the fact usually turns out like shit. Otherwise, it's exactly what the killer is. You know, trying to explain where the alien came from, but it's just on that level. Oh, no. That was pretty bad. That was a kind of, that's kind of a lame explanation, kind of a lame origin story. Oh, God. One out of ten? One out of ten, Alex? I don't rate things out of ten. Just don't watch it. It sucks as pointless. Okay. At first I thought it was kind of funny and like just whatever. But when you really think about it,

it's kind of insulting. It really is. You know why I gave it a two out of ten? Why? Because they didn't release it in theaters. You didn't have to pay money for it. Uh-huh. That's why. That's why. You know what? That's a good thing about it. If I had to pay for that, it would be a one out of ten.

But since it, they knew it sucked and they put it on Netflix for free. So that's why, you know what, I'm going to change my rating back to it too. You know what? I'll give it to them. Give it a one. I swear to God, if it came out in a theater, I would give it a one. No, that didn't. That's not fair. Like, listen, if chips came out on Netflix, straight to Netflix, I would be like, okay, it's for people that aren't made.

to enjoy it. No, but the film. Think about the film. There's nothing to think about. The second you think about it, you want to fucking have an agonurism. One more thing I should mention is that there's kind of this unfortunate trend that I see with Netflix films at this point

where I feel like it's almost unintentionally incentivizing terrible movies. Because as much as like, okay, You look at the regular theatrical box office Sure There's incentivization for

You know derivative Terrible remake, reboot, blah blah blah The studio system has its own Issues With Netflix Every time There's a terrible movie that gets released That nobody seems to like

Like the Death Note film Netflix considers that a success Because they look at how many people have viewed it But in reality exactly people view it because they already have a Netflix account and it's like oh well I'm already paying for it so it's like I might as well check out this piece of shit but as long as you're doing that it's like Netflix doesn't care so if maybe they counted like okay how many people are signing up for Netflix to get this film then that would be a more accurate way of determining that but right now

they're like oh look at how many people watched it this was a success let's make a death note too or some shit you know like uh so we're moving on um yeah so that was our that was our that was our film discussion section of the podcast, and we'll have one every podcast on a different film each time. Now we are going to questions, which any other podcast will have questions from the audience. You can ask us in the links below. We have a Reddit. We have a subreddit. We have a Facebook page, and we have a Twitter account, all of which the names were not taken. Hooray. Nice. So feel free to ask us questions for the next episode there.

Otherwise, we came up with our own questions. I didn't really put much thought into mine. I'm hoping you guys came up with more questions than I did. I'll just ask mine first because I only have one. I was so busy. It's pretty fucking lame. What's your favorite movie and why?

That's a cute one. Okay, go. I'll let you go first. I'm curious. My go-to normally is Ridley Scott's Alien. I adore that film. Fucking Plow.

Fucking Plyb, you piece of shit, you normie. Why is that wow? I'm just kidding. Nothing, because I know people who love that movie, but no one ever says it's their favorite. It's my favorite. I know a few people that say, I don't blame you.

I know a few people that say it's their favorite. It's an excellent movie. Yeah, I just think, the atmosphere of that movie, I just find so creepy. And it just really gets to me every time. like it's one but I watched when I was quite young originally and I thought it was really scary when I was young like way scary than it would ever now but even upon revisiting it it has such a unique tone and feel to it and they take it so seriously but without going down the cloverfield bullshit lane where everything's over explained and everyone's motivations everyone's actually feels like a real person you know everything about it just seems so thoughtful and there's there's loads left up to your imagination even though it's kind of been not really anymore.

Yeah, yeah. And from the set designs that were just insane back in the day and the lighting and just all of it. The acting's really good. The score's amazing. It's just an all-round really solid, great film. It was very influential and revolutionary for its time, both in tone, presentation, concepts. And arguably the best, like, creature design for a thing, like ever, like a...

Ever. Way to go. set design HR Geiger Yeah Given Brups If that's how I pronounce his name

HR Geiger That's It was supposed to be For Dune right But then the whole Yeah I think you're right Yeah

A lot of things They were supposed to be For Dune Yeah Even the music in that movie Is excellent Everything about that movie Yeah

So I've justified it So suck on These Yeah I agree with you It's an excellent movie Not my favorite

My favorite What's your favorite Them Roof? Good fellas By far Okay Yeah that makes So it's a little bit of background

in this. I'm from Queens, as many of you know. Oh, really? So I, so, like, the reason I love Good Time is because everyone in that movie is literally people right out of Queens. And the same thing with Goodfellas. My uncle, his name is Angelo SEPI.

He was the fucking guy in the movie. Not the actor, the real life person who gets thrown in the meat truck and dies. He was part of the heist in the movie. So, like, I literally have blood time. to the people in this movie. Whoa. But aside from that, it's fucking hilarious.

I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Wow. I have blood ties to these, the human beings and the good fellas, the characters in good fellas. Aside from that, acting's terrific. It's shot beautifully. Some of the most gorgeous shots, obviously the shot where they're going into the club or whatever it's called. Joe Pesci's great. And just the, what it has to say about people like that.

human nature, how they, how, like this whole movie, you have this really fucked up evil guy, killing people, doing drugs, beating people up. And then at the very end of the movie, he goes, I loved it. And if I didn't get caught, I would keep doing it. And then the fucking movie's over. And seeing that as a 13-year-old, I was like, wow, that's fucked. And now look at you. Because I'm used to movies.

Yeah, and now look at me, right? And that's all I got to say. It's just an excellent, excellent, excellent movie. I rewatched it recently because it was just on Netflix. Before I give it. And by far. Oh, it's so good.

Before I give my answer, I want to ask you guys a couple questions about yours. Alex, how do you feel the first alien compares to aliens, James Cameron? Do you feel as though he kind of bastardized it or is it just like not as good, but still good? How do you feel? I think it's kind of like oranges and apples. Yeah, different thing. yeah there's so different yeah very different goals I still like I like it a lot

as well um I just don't think it captures quite the just that what makes aliens special like I used to think when I was younger and then more dumberer um I liked aliens more because there was more action there was more

craziness yeah she you get away from her you bitch but like you know when you grow up a little bit you yeah you appreciate different things and there is just something about the somber nature of alien that is just pretty captivating. It's a lot more contained and personal and... Yeah, yeah.

And mature. Yeah. And Ralph, what do you... I guess how do you think Goodfellas compares to the Wolf of Wall Street? Because they have their similarities. Oh, yeah. I consider it a trilogy of Goodfellas, Casino, and Wolf of Wall Street. We're all three are basically the same.

it's the same kind of movie but they're told from different like the Goodfellas is the mafia casino is the casino business and then Wolf of Wall Street's Wall Street and it's about the kind of sociopathic nature of all three of those industries

basically and I think Goodfellas is the best one because Scorsesee is such a you know he grew up in that environment so he has such familiarity with those people and how they talk and how they are so And all, that's why, you know, even the Wolf of Wall Street's my, it's a terrific movie by far.

But he doesn't have that same, doesn't have that same charm that Goodfellas has. Yeah, I find it interesting that all three of those scenarios really do attract sociopaths and immoral people to be a part of them. And it's funny how one of those was a legal, uh, or sorry, I guess casino would be too. Never mind. That's the interesting thing about it. And they all get away with it. Basically. Which is fucked.

But that's the point. Yeah. Gives perspective. My favorite trilogy. I guess I would call my favorite unofficial. It's like the Coronado trilogy. Yeah. It's like that.

Where it's not really a trilogy. It's just the same kind of theme explored in different ways. But yeah. My favorite movie is the Holy Mountain directed by... Shocker, dude. Alejandro Hutterowski. And I've mentioned this a few times in my videos. so anybody who follows my channel,

this is no surprise. And the reason why it's my favorite movie is because I feel like I really relate to it in many ways. And it's a very... I don't consider myself a spiritual person at all, even though it is a very spiritual film. But I think that, you know,

with Hutterowski being a very... a very feelings-based filmmaker. Like, he'll take concepts and instead of trying to make them constructed in a logical narrative sense, he'll focus on what he's feeling and what it means to him. And there's other filmmakers that do that, and there's plenty that don't do it well at all. There's a lot of movies where I would say they try to do something similar,

but they just wind up being incredibly pretentious and purposeless. Whereas with Hodorowski's films, and especially the Holy Mountain. It is so accessible to understand, especially after multiple watches, what he's getting at and the statements that he's trying to make. Some of them are just incredibly obvious from the first watch.

His statements on religion and greed and corruption. There's a scene where there's a bunch of women lined up in a assembly line, and they're all getting painted on their butts, just like green and red paint on their butts, and they're all sitting down one at a time on a canvas and making art. And the narrator explains how this is an art factory.

And think about what that's trying to say about art. You know, like the idea of an art factory itself, like this entire film is presented in a very dystopian kind of manner, in a very absurdist kind of matter, where it's trying to essentially say, here is what is crazy or fucked up about society and here's where we are heading but not really you know it's too ridiculous to actually be real

but the concepts oh yeah in a way Brazil Brazil is a much more literal film with much more of an actual conventional narrative even though a lot of people would you know not even consider it to have that conventional of the narrative whereas the Holy Mountain is is like borderline inaccessible.

Really? But I love, it's not like, oh yeah, I agree with the politics of the film, therefore I like it. It's that I love how it's presented and how when you present a film like that and in some cases like, you know, Synecichy, New York is a great example of a film where if you present it in a way where there's something that an audience member can figure out for themselves. rather than being directly explained to, but there's still something there. And it's not just random nonsense. It's not like some art house film where everything's random just because,

but there's something actually there and you allow the audience to figure it out for themselves. It creates so much more of a personal significance for the person watching, I feel. Yeah. I don't know if you guys agree with me or not. But like when you figure it out for yourself

and it relates to you personally and you could only figure it out for yourself if you understand it sort of thing, you know? Like it's a much more personal, relatable, and meaningful experience, I feel. Yeah, you're going to appreciate that. That's loaded. Have you guys seen the movie? I've seen the first 20 minutes of it.

Did you shut it off out of anger? No, no, no, no, no. It was, we were getting high and I turned it on. I watched the first 20 minutes, and there was a point where I'm like, I can't do this right now. But that's a good... From what? That's a good time to do it, man. Yeah, I know. I will watch it. I will totally watch it one day. I swear to God. That's all my list.

The Holy Mountain is one of those films where you can watch it high. You know, you won't. Yeah. The Holy Mountain is a film that you probably should watch high. Whether it's your first watch or second watch, I would say watch it's sober too. You know, don't. I'd say the first time I try to watch the movie sober and then second time, third time, maybe. Anyway, highly recommend it. It's not for everybody, but. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I bet it's. fantastic. From what I saw, it's pretty... Oh, man. I mean, that opening scene alone

is very intriguing. It's jarring. Well, shot, and yeah. But it's very interesting. The cinematography and, like, the colors. Oh, the set design's amazing. The costumes. Everything about it is just, it's so, and it's so meta, too. Like, I don't want to spoil the ending,

but, like, the last line in the movie is just, like, the most meta shit that you've ever heard. And it's just, oh. Yeah, just watch it. It's, it's so self-aware. It knows exactly what it is. It's absurdist. It doesn't take itself way too seriously. Like a lot of art films that try to be it

wind up doing. You know, it's very playful in its approach. It's hilarious. And it's like sad and depressing at the same time. And it's just, it's, it's everything that I really want out of a movie in one movie. And I don't think that anything could ever replace it. Perhaps

maybe in the future. Senecta Key, New York is a close second. But I mean, it's it's a very personal experience. to me and I love it. I love watching it. I feel like every time I watch it and I've seen it like 30 times or some shit Every time I watch it I figure out or I come to some sort of new Realization about a scene or what it means to me or yeah at a different point in my life and You know the perspective of a certain scene has changed and you know I don't even understand half of the movie

Because I'm not a spiritual person as I've said and there's so much of that film that's like directly lifted from like like the Torah and all these weird fucking spiritual rules and cards and all that shit that I've just not interested in. And if I actually spent my time studying that shit, I feel like I understand so much more about the film. But it's not necessarily about deciphering it. It's about what it means to you. And that's part of why I love it. It's more about the emotion, the feeling, the journey. You're going to...

You're going to ask something. But I have a question for you, Adam, about the movie. Yes. you don't have to explain plot point for plot point what you thought the movie meant but if you were to recommend or give a vague plot outline as to what this movie is what would it be because I'm interested to hear it because everyone has a totally different one because I have some friends who fucking love this movie and they completely disagree on certain things well okay so I mean like I've kind of explained like the purpose of the film being like an absurdist

kind of dystopian approach to basically providing commentary on life, politics, religion, workers, corruption, greed, drugs, etc. And that is basically the outlying concept of the film. But it's also a movie that is kind of separated into three acts, like most films, but in this film very differently. the first act you're basically following like a Jesus-like figure and that's where you get most of the religious commentary and there's barely any dialogue the second act of the film is basically explaining these I forget how many planets they have

they're like eight or nine planets and each of these characters that are introduced with this dialogue and this narration they're basically being used as a way to describe different concepts of greed like they're all terribly immoral and they all have this selfish interest

of self-preservation and the entire reason why they're brought together is to like figure out and understand how to become immortal gods and survive their own deaths and and transcend the physical world, you know, and in that is sort of an act of selfishness.

Those are like basically just a bunch of separate scenes to introduce these characters and introduce the concepts that these characters are basically excuses to explore. And then the last third of the film is those characters on the journey to the Holy Mountain that I don't really want to get too much into, but it takes a very spiritual journey and kind of explores very meta-concepts about you know to lose in the in the objective

of becoming immortal how much of yourself do you lose in order to do that you know and I I don't want to get too much into it because I don't want to spoil this movie but I mean it's already pretty dense it's really this plot description

I mean, you're asking me to provide an answer on something that where there is no real typical answer for it. You know, like you can't, it's not like a single character making his way from point A to point B that you can just talk about in a three-act structure very simply. Like the three separate acts that there are in this film all have kind of different goals and are woven together in a very unique way. Um, so I know. It's like, there's no way to explain the movie without having a very complicated answer. Yeah, that's interesting though. But, yeah, I'm going to check this out soon. Please watch it.

It's a, I love the movie, obviously. And you guys had some other questions, right? Uh-huh. He wants to go next. I guess we each get one. Ralph, you go first. I'll go. Let's do it.

I got a few questions here. Pick one. All right, let's go with this one. If there is one, book you would want to see be made into a film what is it? Would you direct it or would you have another guy directed? If so, you get to pick the director you want to make it.

Hmm. Got it? Hmm. Hmm. Where's Waldo? Where's Waldo? Where's Waldo directed by Quentin Tarantino? Okay.

You know what? Everybody could make it work. If I found out Quentin Tarantino is directing a Where's Waldo film? I'd be so stoked. Yeah, so did. Everybody would be so high. In 75 millimeter. He would make it work.

He totally would. I totally believe it. It's just the first scene as Waldo and some of the character talking for 10 minutes. And Waldo shoots him. Hey, do. And they play some Ennio Marconi. Where's Waldo comes up in big yellow text. I can totally see it.

noticed that squirrels carry just as many diseases as rats but you know you know you you won't want rats in your home but you're friends with squirrels have you ever found that interesting the different the different associations that we make with different animals despite them being relatively similar it's just like the Jews Alex what's yours um I don't have an answer for them because every every book is a film already. That's why I was a little stumped. Yeah, really?

All the books I like, if films are ready. All right, well, how about if the movie didn't exist that you're thinking of? And you would want to see it maybe again. What if there was like a better version? Because even my, yes, even my answer has a movie made out of in the 50s that no one's seen. I mean, I could elaborate on mine by saying like, I really enjoyed the book, The Ruins. and that got made into a really shitty horror movie but if it was in different hands

then perhaps it would have turned out fine you know So Tarantino's hands Yeah you know yeah I actually probably would But I mean I don't read that many books I'm a dumb dumb person who's just so

Uneducated and uncultured Because I don't read that many books Because I decide to spend my time differently And watch a lot of movies Instead I don't read a lot of books either It's fine Alex what's your name

answer. I choose, if Blade Runner didn't exist, I'd choose to Android's dream of electric sheet, probably. Yeah? Yeah. And who would you have direct it? Probably Redley Scott. No, go to someone else. Yeah. Go someone else. Because we've seen what his one was like and, you know, it's pretty good, but it's got some weird bits. Interesting. Let's have Denny Villeneuve to direct. Good idea. Ova Ball. Mine would be. Alex, if you still want to think of a director. you're good. Mine is the Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Yeah?

Would you direct it? I mean, I guess I would because I love the book so much, but if I had to pick, yeah. Yeah, if I had to pick, I would probably do it. It's an excellent book about society in the future when they get rid of all free will and everyone's happy because everyone's on drugs all the time and always fucking and always watching sports. And it's portrayed as almost a comedy, comical. but then the fact that this book was written almost 100 years ago and we're almost living in that society now where all we do is fuck and do drugs and watch sports. I mean, not literally sports, but consume entertainment.

E-sports. I think it's really interesting. Yeah, exactly. So the question of it is, is it better to live in a free society where you're constantly miserable or to live in a society where you're a slave essentially, but you're always happy? and all your basic needs are felt and constantly, you know. I have not read it. It's a great book.

It's almost like Fahrenheit, what's it called, Fahrenheit, 9-11 or something? I kept 4-51. I kept thinking Fahrenheit 9-11, 4-51. I was thinking Fahrenheit 9-11. It's almost like that, except it's much more comical. They all, they have lines of dialogue like, oh, are you going to the orgy this Wednesday? And they constantly say orgy-po-gey, stuff like that. So many, so many brilliant lines like that.

I love that book. Anyway, Alex, you're up. Animal Farm would actually be a good answer for me as well. Nice. Oh, yeah. That's been adapted into like a cartoon or something, wasn't it? I think so. But like, yeah, like a proper, you know, whatever movie.

I think they are actually making one. I don't know who's involved with it. I would love to see like a Wes Anderson stop motion on that. That would be cool. Yeah, it could be really creepy. in the same style as an Amelisa? I could totally see that. Those two together?

What's the other director's name? Duke Johnson. Duke Johnson. Duke Johnson. I could totally see those two. I could be great. I seem to remember you mentioning Anomelisa on your channel, Alex, before. Yeah.

I actually watched it based on, I'm pretty sure your recommendation. Nice. On your videos. Yeah. Yeah, really, really great film, that one. I wasn't sure what to expect. One big circle jerk. If you ever, yeah.

If you ever want a podcast. Charlie, everybody basically agrees with each other. This is the one to go for. Charlie said I'm smart. Alex, your question. I have a question. I have a question for you guys. Uh-oh.

Why do you guys feel the need to use rating systems to rate films? To rate films. Why do you feel the need to rate artwork out of 10? Dude, you made a fucking video on this and interviewed me for it. You literally interviewed me this exact same question and made a video about it. And like there's this gigantic Twitter message that you read. No, we need more. No, let's discuss this story.

Can I tell a little story first? I'll play a fucking clip from your video. I'll answer first, but first I got a little story about this. So Alex asked me for that video. Ralph, why do you use movies? Can you talk about the scores in your reviews? Review scores. And I thought he meant the music I use in my videos.

So I wrote him a paragraph about the music I used in my videos. And he's like, no, I meant like review scores. I'm like, oh, I'm fucking retarded. Okay, sorry. And I wrote him another paragraph. Okay. Quick little side note. Anyway, I think it's good because when you talk about a lot of movies,

you start, people start questioning, like, which movie does he like better? Should I see this movie over this movie? And if you just kind of say, oh, I like every movie. But why does that matter? I like this movie. Because it's a thing where I kind of want to recommend more, some movies more than others, where if I say I like Lady Bird and I like Moonlight and I like Blade Runner, then it's not clear, I don't think, that I like those movies in a different way.

I like Blade Runner and Moonlight much more than I do Lady Bird. But if I was speaking just in plain English, I would say, it would sound like I like all three of them equally. You know? Isn't that why you... You know what I'm trying to say? Isn't that why you... Like, it's...

I think it's easy to boil it down to a number just so everyone gets the impression of the kind of movie to expect and what you're going to see. Like, I like disaster artists, you know, but I don't like it as much as I like Lady Bird. So, that's why I do it. Then you start to fall into it. to the trap of like it was even happening

to you earlier in this very podcast where you were trying to figure out what number to assign Cloverfield Pee or whatever. That is a thing but I also don't think about it too much. I mean I thought with Cloverfield it's a fucking joke because who cares if it's a two or a one piece of shit.

But it's like but that is to me it's like assigning a number to paintings or something like it's just well if you were reviewing paintings then you might do that. I could see that too.

You can assign a number to any art form with 10 being the highest possible and one being the lowest possible. You could even do it one through five if you want to. You're basically just using it as a way to illustrate to your audience that you think this is of the best or in the middle or of the worst, right? And so, I mean, like you can, yeah, for sure, you can say that independently of assigning a number to it. But, you know, there's tons of films that I would give, you know,

know eight or above, which is a rare occurrence, but I still have a lot of criticisms to make about it. And so I make a video and I'm taught, like, I want to be as honest as I possibly can be. And even if there's something that I love, I'm going to point out the things about it that I don't like because I don't want to only have a lens of criticism on things that I don't like overall. I want to apply it fairly and evenly. And so if I make a video where I'm saying like, yeah, the acting was great, blah, blah, blah, all these different things. And then I have half the video talking about my criticisms. sometimes people might get the wrong impression and think that like, oh, I didn't really like the film as much or that they might cancel each other out.

When in reality, the praises and criticisms, they're all weighted differently. And some praises might cancel out criticisms more than others and vice versa. So the end number at the end of my review is essentially just saying like how much the achievements outweigh the flaws or vice versa. So that's, I feel like that, you know, perhaps it's not absolutely. necessary, but I do feel as though it does help give a better understanding to my audience as to how much I enjoy to film. And, you know, the numbers that I give are pretty consistent. Five is average. Six is above average. Seven is a really good film. Eight is great. Nine is near perfect. And 10 is basically perfect, you know? And then same thing going all the way from five to one.

Just five is average. One is the worst, like barely a movie. Two is like technically a movie but still terrible in every way like Cloverfield paradox Three is like hilariously bad like after earth Four is below average You know like flaws outweigh the achievements so I don't really see any issue To be had with number systems just Do the Yeah you put it much more eloquently than I ever could at all

Why do you're do they change like if you look back at one you yeah Yeah, I changed my every, you know, there's, I, in the same way that you said that, you thought aliens was a better film when you were younger and then you grow up and then it's not as good as the first alien. In that same way, you know, there's films that meant more to me that I would give a higher rating when I was younger that might be lower now. And there's also films that I appreciate more as an adult. It's all subjective anyway, you know, you're only speaking from your own perspective.

It's important. It's important we don't take them too seriously. Like, oh, they're set and stone. Like, oh, he gave it a 10, so therefore, it's like, 10 isn't literally a perfect movie. Obviously, this is such thing. I agree. I want to say anti-Christ, which literally has no flaws in it, technically speaking. I mean, I agree that the number shouldn't be an excuse to ignore the rest of what someone has said in their review to, you know, explain what the movie was and what their issues or their praises. were. The number shouldn't be like a reason to ignore all that. But I mean, it does, it does serve a purpose, I think. So. Does that not annoy you guys when you see, oh, everyone in the comments is just arguing over the number? Well, there's always, you mean, I mean, does it annoy you when you see it make, I hate Mars bars? I don't know, like.

Yeah. There's always going to be people in the comments writing stupid shit no matter what. Like, it doesn't really matter. So. Yeah. No, it's just more like an audience thing. Like, when you, when you describe why you like it, that's, fine. It's just more how people react to them because everyone's on like a different scale. I think maybe my audience is smarter than yours, so Oh shit.

It bothers me more. Wow, you didn't even disagree. You're like, yeah, probably. Wow. Yeah. Anyway, it bothers me more it bothers me more when when people say like, oh, I give it a 7.2 or

Yeah. 9. It's like, what the fuck? The closest that I'll go to that is like, I haven't decided yet it's either a six or a seven. It's not an eight. It's not a five. You know, if I say that, it's like, maybe I'll have a better understanding on my second watch, but I've watched it once. Here's my review sort of thing, you know.

Or like when people use Rotten Tomatoes and they go, oh, this one has a 92 and this one is an 88. So therefore I'm going to see the 92%. Oh, man. That's like when the review scores really start. I have. And we talk about that in the video. I have a lot to say about. about rotten tomatoes.

But I think we should... I know you do. I think we all do. We should save that for next podcast and talk about that next time. I think we recorded a shit ton way more than we thought we would. Holy fuck.

This is episode one. Maybe we should... There's a lot of trial and error going on. So this podcast will grow and develop as each episode happens. We'll figure it out. We'll get good eventually. Don't worry.

Should we talk about the Reddit page where they're going to ask the questions? I did. We're going to ask the questions. you. Oh, you did. Where were you? I was, I was, I was sniffing Shankham. Yeah, so I mean, yeah,

if you want to ask us questions or give us suggestions, we've got a subreddit Sardonicast, we got Facebook page Sardonicast, Twitter, Sardonicast, they were all free, freely available and untaken, just like me, I'm very lonely. And

next podcast, I was expecting some laughter, but all I got was silence, but made it much more awkward. We can do it again and we can laugh. No, I'll just add it in in post. Okay. Wait, wait, let's take one of your other laughs from earlier in the podcast and I'll make it seem like I made something funny.

Movie suggestion for next podcast. I've got a suggestion for you guys. I don't know if you've seen it or not. I've recommended it before in one of my earlier videos. I've mentioned it a couple times on the channel, but I think it's a really good film. to get more people to watch and we'll have a very interesting discussion on it next podcast episode, I think, is the film Housu. H-A-U-S-U, so English translation house. It's a Japanese film from, I believe, the 1970s that is very, very entertaining.

It is quite a trip and I don't really want to give away much more than that. It's a horror, like fantasy horror, comedy. Very strange and unique film. It's released on Criterion. So, uh, Criterion Blu-ray, very good quality. Um, have you seen it? No, never heard of this one. Perfect.

Awesome. We're in for a treat. All right. I'll re-watch it before, before we record our next episode. Nice house foreign movies. Um, cool. I'm excited. So yeah, uh, that's, if everybody, anybody in our audience wants to, uh,

I guess, you know, watch the films before next podcast, which will be in two weeks from when you hear this, then you'll be up to date on our film discussion and the spoiler thing won't matter to you. If you want to support us in any way, we each have our own individual YouTube channels. They're linked in the description. Some of us have our own Patreon accounts as well. We don't have a Patreon account just for this podcast because we have our own things going on. it would be a bit superfluous. But yeah, so if you want to support us,

check out our YouTube channel, subscribe there, watch some ads or whatever. We have our own Patreon's, and you guys have any final closing statements before we end this dumpster fire? Don't watch Cloverfield. Which one? Sorry, what's it called?

Paradox. The Cloverfield paradigm. The new one. The Cloverfield chicken pox. Yeah, that one. I have nothing to say. You never do. Nope.

Bye, everybody. Bye. Bye.