Sardonicast - Sardonicast 121: The Bad Boys Trilogy

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

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Three, two, one. Woo-sa is something that they spammed throughout bad boys too. Hello, this is Adam from your movie sucks. This is a podcast called Sardonicast. Hello, we're talking about bad boys. Hello, who else is here. I thought you're going to do the bad boys, bad boys. What you're going to do?

But then we're going to get copycrite claims. They're coming after us. Yeah, be careful. We could have done it. Well, you just did it. Bad boys, bad boys. I'm Ralph, the movie maker. Yeah, and I'm Alex from I, she...

And we're the bad boys. I got to say, this just go real. What you got to? Yeah, shit just got real. It is. Yeah, it's shit and it's real. We just got it. Talking about the bad trilogy.

Don't give it away. This is the boys trilogy. The bad boys. The show on Amazon. Yeah. This is the movie. The Boys. Yeah.

They're so much more bad. But they're bad. Yeah, I prefer the bad trilogy. Mm-hmm. Kind of sits in a moment. The bad trilogy. That's funny. Bad boys, but you might as well.

Yeah, you could just call it the bad trilogy. There's supposed to be a fourth one. Well, like in production. Oh, shit, really? Yeah, they, it was, I guess, remind me to bring this up when we start talking about the third one because it's kind of tied into the production story of that. Yeah. Okay.

The third one kind of has like a, like a cliffhanger kind of thing. Yeah, a Marvel Stinger. So yeah, yeah, yeah. You both watched all of them. Yes. Yeah. Great. I'd seen, I've only seen the second one before.

I hadn't seen any of them before. I watched the first one and the third one. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'd only seen bits of the second one. But yeah, I enjoyed my six and a half hours of bad. Of just action, just crazy cartoon. and like dumb jokes. Yeah, that's like the whole thing.

There were points where I was regretting doing a marathon. And I was like... Oh, yeah, same. Yeah, I did the same thing. Maybe I should have done this like one per day instead of all at a row. Literally like seven hours of... I'm just like dumb shit. Just like action and just horrible jokes, horrible lame jokes and cliches.

I guess we could start with the first one. We need to start at the beginning. Start at the beginning of the bad boys. So, Bad Boys 1995 directed by Michael Bay. So, Michael Bay, this is our first Michael Bay film. I think we've talked about, like, in detail, I think. And yeah, it's about Wolf Smith and Martin Lawrence or cops. Just a couple of boys.

Yeah. And like, that's, that's basically it. That's like, I just sold the movie right there. It's like, Woolsmith, Martin Lawrence, and Michael Bay. Like, that's like... Two hip detectives. And it's like, so you know what you're getting into. Yeah.

Will Smith is the cool one. Martin Lawrence is the, like, the dumb, funny one. Like, that's it. And Michael Bay is the action. He, like, makes it cool with his angles and whatever. What were you going to say? If you've seen anything that any of those three have done before, you know what you're getting.

It does feel like exactly what you'd expect from... Exactly. It's like, oh yeah, it's still a Michael Bay movie. It's still a Will Smith movie and it's still a Martin Lawrence movie, you know? Uh-huh. Like I don't even see the characters. I just see like Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Yeah.

And the weird thing is like they both have like M names. I don't know if that... There's like a rule in screenwriting. You don't give characters like the same like first letter in their names and they're both named like Marcus and Mike. Yeah, Mike and Marcus. Yeah, that is confused. I guess they're...

M and M. Yeah, I guess they're both, like, the same. It's like heat. They're trying to, like, draw parallels between them. And Michael Bay. And Michael Bay. Right. The trips.

Yeah. And Joey Pants is like the captain. Yeah. I think he's a big part of it, too. With hair. He's like the, you know, he's like the cliche, like police captain. He's like, nah, you're damn incompetent motherfuckers. You didn't follow protocol.

There's bodies everywhere. You ruin my day. This is a slight. annoyance for me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And like, that's all he does. Yeah.

And they're just like cliches. Yeah. Yeah. I guess, spoilers. Oh. As if it even matters. Yeah. Oh, no.

There's nothing to really spoil. So a lot of the movie, a lot of this plot, well, it's like this cliche, like, I don't know, there's like a criminal trying to like chase this witness down and they're like trying to protect or whatever. But for some reason, I don't even remember why there's like this role switching subplot. Because Will Smith was out of town. And she's like, I only want to speak to this person I've never met. I will not cooperate if I don't talk to Will Smith. Yeah. So she thinks it's Will Smith, but it's actually Martin Lawrence. And that's like the whole movie is like Martin Lawrence pretending to be Will Smith. Yeah. Which I guess she heard about before. And you know, so she thinks like

Will Smith or whatever is cool. Like the Marcus character. Yeah. It's the best cause. But it's actually like Martin Lawrence bumbling around. Why do they need to commit to that so hard? Because that is like the main kind of drama. I wasn't expecting it. Or at least one of the main sources of comedy. It should have been like one joke.

Uh huh? Yeah, yeah. Like a couple of scenes or whatever and then just, okay, just go back to revealing the truth and move on. But that really is like the core of the movie is like that joke on repeat and it just like It's just like it's the same joke. Yeah. Throughout the entire movie.

It gets like really annoying actually. Yeah, I found it. sting after well. Yeah, really. I really wasn't expecting it to be like a weird trading places movie. You know, like putting in bad boys for the first time. I was like, what the what are they doing here? It was so weird.

It was so bizarre. Michael Bay's sense of humor is just like not great. What he finds funny is not that funny. Sure. But it's just like that it went on for the whole movie. It felt like one of those things that you would throw in like a sequel. It's like a sequel plot

when you're like out of ideas. But this is first movie and they were already out of ideas they're just like I don't know make it about make it about like this role switching thing like Martin Lawrence has a wife but he has to like keep it a secret that he's like you know yeah protecting this woman even though he could just tell his wife like there's nothing that stopping him from telling his wife I'm like oh I just need to like pretend to be this person so because she's a witness to a crime but he she like he never tells her that because he wants to keep it a secret because I guess his wife would get jealous it's just like what is going on and then they accidentally

have a phone call and he listens to the exact spot that makes him believe that Will Smith's fucking his wife and he goes like just one of the like all you needed was like I don't know like a bit more information or just another word and that this wouldn't have happened this miscommunication but you've decided to go over there yeah yeah it's a big miscommunication it's very silly I can understand why it was successful for sure you're so right about the comedy yeah it's a 90s comedy yeah definitely but it's just an ongoing Michael Bay thing where his style of comedy like a I don't know about you guys it has never jailed with me no it's like it is fratty like once I heard it described as like that

as fratty I was just like yeah it's kind of a good way of putting it it's kind of like lowbrow really obvious like the whole whole dynamic is like will smith he's like a player yeah and he's also like a trust fund kid he's like rich and dry sports cars around contrasted with martin lawrence who's like he's miserable married and has kids and never fucks So he's like sad all the time. And that's like the core of the humor and Martin Lawrence kind of doing his thing. But yeah, that Michael Bay comedy, man, I just can't. Yeah.

Can't be getting on with it. Like it's it doesn't like develop anywhere or go anywhere. It's always like so, so like throw away. There's no like, it doesn't build up to anything. Everything's so confined to like a scene. Yeah. There's a better example of bring up in bad. boys too, that's just like, Jesus Christ, but yeah.

These are not films that get better on a second watch. As someone who's only seen it once, but I was doing like a little watch-along stream with it and everybody, everybody was basically saying like, yeah, this is worse that I remember. Yeah, that first one, it's like, there's just not a lot going on. Like, I'd see, this is the first time I watched it. I was expecting like a little more, at least from like the action, but there really isn't much action in it or it's like kind of... It's really tame for an R-rated movie.

It's really tame for a Michael Bay film. Exactly, yeah. Especially for Michael Bay film. Like, just knowing like where his catalog goes, like a few decades later, this does seem really reserved for him. It's just like really funny. There's not really an explosion even until like right towards the end. You think the word reserved to describe a Michael Bay film is just so funny.

Yeah. You know, there's still like the hot chicks running around. around with like it's like all those elements of the movie there's still action shootouts yeah it is just like it is way more tame it's more like a conventional like 90s action movie I guess it's yeah it's not like super distinguished as its own thing that much like it feels like early Michael Bay when you have like the chase scenes and stuff and like the card scenes much of the movie is just like okay not super stylized the framing's way too close even during a lot of the action the framing's like way

too close like uncomfortably close like it's like a fucking saffty brothers movie but it's not trying to be you know it's like give me a fucking wide shot so I can see like where where the shit is you know I don't remember if it was in the first movie or the second movie but there was a part where um like one of the you know just in one of the chase scenes there's somebody with a bike and the car comes along and they have they have to run across the bridge uh because the car's about to hit them just some random nameless character and i'm like if you just if you just showed a bit more i would know like okay what's under the bridge like is it water or vehicles because if it's water then it's like okay well maybe you should jump over but you know i don't know i feel like i was missing

information in a lot of the scenes of just like things i could absorb about like i don't know the setting. There were a lot of cuts, like a billion cuts per second in every scene. Just like people talking. It was so weird. The editing is atrocious. Even the action, yeah.

And like the comedy, too. It's just not as memorable to me, really, aside from like the same joke. Yeah. You know, Martin Lawrence and Will Smith are trading places and that whole, like, cliche story. I understand why it was successful and they do have some level of charisma with each other.

And obviously, like, people fucking loved Will Smith at the time, especially. I suppose this was the height. I think this was his first, like, big blockbuster movie. This is, like, kind of what put him on the map as a movie star, actually. You know, he was famous from, like, fresh prints and, like, I think a few other, I think he had some, maybe some other film roles. But I think this was, like, his first big, one of the... his first big hits that put him on the map. So like that that's a notable thing about it. I'm like,

oh yeah, that's that's interesting, I guess. Like, he's definitely a movie star. Yeah. It's just, yeah, like, it's just like everything else around the movies. Like, you know, it doesn't feel like very well thought out. And like, even the comedy, like, it's, it's kind in the middle. I don't think it's nearly as obnoxious as like some of the later Transformers movies. I think that's like a huge positive I have about it actually is that it's not as like grading as like the Transformers 2 humor like the parents and like I don't know the pop brownies but they kind of did that in the second movie I was thinking about T2 but even that wasn't as bad yeah but by then but that was nearly 10 years later there's like

years between everyone these movies which is weird eight years considerable many years yeah yeah the comedy is a is like a huge sicky point for me because it's just like it's like the main folk, they were undercut like basically any chance at like real drama or tension normally for like a joke. But like the jokes are always like really lame. I didn't hate the comedy so much, but it, it wasn't like, it wasn't so irritating, but it wasn't funny at the same time. I was just like, yeah, I can see this being funny.

I imagined a crowd of like people in 1995 laughing to it. I'm like, yeah, this is this. This is about right. Yeah, it wasn't as bad as like the later Transformers. Yeah. No, I was honestly fine with this first one. I thought it was like just so serviceable. I didn't really get annoyed.

I was just kind of bored. Like, for the most part, like, it's just fine. There's nothing too crazy. I started getting bored about halfway through it. Yeah. I was like perfectly comfortable with the pacing and, you know, the amount of... There's dialogue scenes, but it felt like it was moving. along in some way like okay things are happening at least and it never stayed in one location for too long

and then about halfway through the movie I'm like what's your fucking point like why are you two hours just halfway through the movie I just it started to lose me and I was like oh god like we're still going like what are you doing it was just yeah it started to get frustrating but first half I was fine I did have I did have a few genuine laughs but they weren't at jokes being made in the film. They were, they were at like Will Smith trying to be serious at points. Like some serious character moments with him and just like, oh boy. And I can only see him as an actor. And in this movie in particular, like, I don't know if you guys felt the same way about this, but in this movie in particular out of all movies that he's done maybe, but especially in the bad boys'

movies, his accent's so inconsistent. Like from shot to shot, he'll be, he'll sound completely different. He'll be going for like a completely different thing and it was just like the most inconsistent thing in the world. In Bad Boys too, it's like, okay, now you're just Will Smith. You're the Will Smith we know and love sort of thing. You've got your character down as Will Smith. But in the first movie, it's like he couldn't decide what he was trying to do. Like whether he was playing a character with an accent or doing himself or I don't know what he was doing. But it was a very inconsistent. That's funny. I didn't even notice because all I see whenever I watch Will Smith in a movie is just Will Smith. I can't not.

And especially because I think this is the first time I've watched a movie of Will Smith in since that Oscar incident. I know, right? Some good context. I just can't get out of my mind. It's like just... Yeah. Well, what's the... Was it Shark Tale?

That of Will Smith. Oh, yeah, true. And that, yeah, tarnished that great work as well. Was that post-slap? Yeah, that was post-slat. That was like right after. Yeah, it was post-slap. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, but we didn't see him. We saw. fish that looked like him. That's true. This is his first live action film since that. Yeah, I don't even care about that. It's like, yeah, it's just his acting. And I'm like, yeah, he's like, Will Smith.

And that's how Martin Lawrence is. He's, he's acting silly. Big moment. And it's like, okay. At least with Martin Lawrence, I feel like he knows what he is a bit more. And he was trying a lot harder too. And he's good at it. He's good at the comedy thing.

He's great at the facial expressions. he's great at like the line delivery and he's consistent the entire movie it's like okay we're getting like a consistent product whereas like will was just kind of all over the place it's like what the fuck are you doing but martin lawrence it's like oh you know he knows his thing he's got it down he's crafted it and he's gonna roll with it he's not like the most versatile amazing actor he doesn't he's not trying to go for anything like super dramatic but it works for what it is and he's good comedy in the film i think martin lawrence was was good in this actually yeah i like Martin Lawrence and all three of them. I feel like he's

like, at times he's like the only one trying. Especially later on. Yeah, I don't hate this movie. It's just kind of in the middle for me. It's not like one of Michael Wade's worst. I don't think that comedy is like that terrible to where it's like Transformers 2 or

one of those. It's like, yeah. It's just kind of like, yeah, forgettable. I see why it was successful. Yeah, like you said. It's the 90s. I was expecting more crazy like Michael Bay shit, like action and whatever. I guess you get that more in like the second one. It was still there.

You know, there were chase scenes. Yeah, it's just way more tame than I was expecting. It's not as wacky. Yeah. It was more of a like, you know, normal, sellable standard action thing. But he does film action. Like, he knows what to do to make it seem like there's action happening, which is a necessity. And we'll discuss later.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Those are some of the best parts of his movies. Yeah. Yeah. It's the action. And it definitely isn't like as mean-spirited as a lot of his movies, especially

kind of became during the pain and gain transformers sort of era. There is nothing like that is going to upset in the kind of way that some of those later movies do. Yeah. You're right. It's just right down the middle. It's so just like inoffensive, like very just this is like a generic action movie from 95. this is exactly what it says on the tin. It's like nothing to unpack really.

On the tin. Although this first one I did write down in my notes, the cringe kind of like, the character that was like, freeze mother bitches, I blow you. And it's like, okay,

you're just, this is like five minutes of just the whole joke is this guy can't speak English properly and that's it. Like that's... Yeah, that was like a little taste of what was to come. It's 1995. You know,

whatever. Like, this is what people were into, but it doesn't age well. It's not like, Yeah. It's not funny. That's like a little taste, right?

It's kind of cringe. All of it's, yeah. It's just like a little taste of like what's to come with like Michael Bay. Yeah. But like these movies are just so dumb to me. I just can't even take them seriously at all. Oh yeah. Like I'm glad they didn't like develop the characters anymore than they did in the movie

because it's just like that all that stuff is like so pointless to me. Like I don't give a fuck about like these characters at all. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Who gives a shit? I just want to watch action and like the selling points of it. like the hot chicks or the action, the cars, you know, like that shit. Like that's, that's all the audience for this wants.

It's like, as long as it's delivering on that, I don't really have a problem with it. Yeah. Like, oh, that's fine. It's better than like half the, half the Faster Furious movies as well probably just because, like, yeah, there's some consistency there. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it until it goes past 90 minutes. That's my thing. Like, if it's going to be like that level, you know, where it's like, yeah,

characters don't matter. Most of it doesn't matter. It's just about the dumb jokes and the dumb. comedy, you gotta, you gotta trim it down just a little bit. You reel it in. Yeah, yeah, it just, yeah, I'll get into it more when we're talking to the sequels, but they just kind of get more bloated as they go along. A lot of Michael Bayes, actually, films have, like, some of these Transformers movies

are, like, touched like three hours, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Yeah. You kind of mastered excess filmmaking at a certain point. Yeah. You haven't quite touched it fully yet, though, in the 90s. Yeah. I think it's funny.

A lot of Michael Bay films, a lot of blockbustery type mindless action movies. The character development, they're essentially described by, like, things that they own. Or like people around them. So, like, Martin Lawrence's character is like, I have a family. That's his character. He has a family. Will Smith's character is he has money. Those are their characters.

It's like family and money. That's it. Nothing about like their personality really. Well yeah, they don't have a personality. Yeah. Nothing changes about them at the end. Yeah, they're just, they're just consistent. Nothing changes about them.

They're like, their morals or... Yeah. Yeah, it's just what do they possess? It's like really simple... And they're bad boys. Flash cards you can show up at the screen essentially. Right. The most simplistic shit.

I'm saying for me that's like one of the best things about it's just like, yeah, I don't give a fuck about their characters like yeah just make them like just don't even develop them all it's like there's no point in a movie like this this is no point it's so dumb already i get that i think that you could sprinkle in maybe like something like it wouldn't take long to develop yeah well then it would be a real movie no i i feel like there was a the the issues in the 90s uh with like writing female characters in particular it's like pretty apparent with this movie where her whole thing is like, I'm being unreasonable and I'm being annoying and I'm vegetarian.

Oh, yeah. She was just there to be like an object of desire and also very annoying. Like, it was just like so irritating. She was very annoying and like unreasonable. Yeah. Like completely unreasonable and like unlogical. So naggy. But yeah, that's also just a consistent Michael Berry problem though, isn't it?

like some of his female characters and the way they're shot and presented. Yeah, they're so unlikable. Yeah, they're unlikable, but, you know, they're, they're like attractive actresses or whatever. They're just like, yep, that's it. That's like all they need to be in the movie. It's like, okay. It's so dumb. It's hard to take anything going on seriously.

And I'm glad, like, there's, like, but there's parts of the third one that take itself, like, really seriously. that just don't work for me. And this is like not a problem I have with the first two. The Michael Bay ones. Because it's like, yeah, there's no point and like even trying to develop these characters. They're just like, it's all you see, no matter what they do is Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. And it's just about like

the action and like... Yeah. Yeah, like these things that were just, you know, that are on the poster that you know it's going to be. It's like, that's all it needed to be. By the time you exit the theater, you forget everything that wasn't on the poster. Yeah.

That's what you're left with. Yeah, even in saying that, I'm trying to think, like, it is an action movie and it is a comedy, but like, what is the standout best action sequence in the first movie and what's like the best joke? I know, right? None for me. Yeah, it's hard to remember. Yeah, I genuinely can't think of one.

There was a car chase or something. Yeah, because Tuesdays definitely got the best action. I'm certain there was a vehicle pursuit at some point. Yeah, the scene in the club, I guess that was the, best scene? What happened? Like the shootout there? Oh. They're like in the club for some reason and then there's a shootout. I don't remember what happened or why they were there. Club hell? Is that what it was called? And there they had a they had it yeah and then they had the fucking van full of ether for some reason. Oh yeah. And they're like, don't if you shoot ether,

it'll explode even though that's not how that works. Yeah. No, I swear like the six hours of watching bad boys like all the car chases just like like they've merged together on my head and it's just this one elongated scene. It's like the same thing. It's like nothing distinguishes it. I'm so glad I take notes, you know? I'm just, I would be so confused. I would have nothing to think.

Yeah. Like, what happened? There weren't many notes I took for the first one except for the whole like body swapping thing because that's just like or the the role swapping. Yeah, yeah. That was my main thing too. It's just like, that's the whole movie. It could have been one joke, but it gets really tired.

It gets really old very quickly and it like, yeah, that's the whole. film. It's the whole like two hours. It's like Martin Lawrence is trying to act suave, but it doesn't, you can't do it. Ha ha. She thinks he's gay. I remember the best joke. It's like when she's like at the apartment, she's like, why do you have all these pictures of Will Smith? Because you know, it's his apartment. And Martin Lawrence is like, oh, well, we're just partners. Like, we're just my partner. Great partners. Yeah. At his apartment, he has pictures of me. I'm like, okay, that's kind of funny. But like, that was it. That was like the only joke. I'm like, oh, that's kind of funny. I didn't like.

laugh. I was just like, oh, that's kind of funny. Roger Ebert pointed that out in his review. He said something to the effect of like, he was like, but why would Will Smith have so many pictures of himself in his home? It's like, I don't know. Like, I guess I guess to like maybe paint him as like kind of ego-centric, but yeah, it's, I don't think that the writers care enough about that. I think it's just for the sake of the joke. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I thought that what was particularly memorable about that was the dialogue that came after that, which was like, oh, no, I'm not gay. And he proceeds to explain to her how not gay he is. He's like, you see those dents on the bed? It's because I'm having sex all the time.

I'm like, what the fuck? Who wrote this? Like, it's so atrocious. It's like, what are you talking about? Well, yeah, that just ties in the whole frat humor. Yeah. Yeah, right. It's like, I'm not gay, bro. Yeah, it's like that. It's funny because he said gay. That's it. That's it's as simple as it is. Yeah, straight out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, yeah. kind of a recurring gag in the bay ones. Oh yeah. Yeah. Bay.

Gay. Michael. Suspicious. Gay Bay. He's a gay bay. One thing that I want to mention before moving on to the next one. I think one of the elements of these films that does change throughout each film, particularly is the music.

And I think that there was some good choices for like licensed music in this. film but the main theme that they tried to do was really bad the main the main theme was just like so unworkable and so uncatchy and just it felt dated and it was so it ruined a lot of scenes there were a lot of scenes in this film that that were lessened by the music choices and just like okay why is their music here why is it this tone sort of thing it was just weird um but yeah yeah i i enjoyed michael imperioli's little cameo. I didn't expect to see him in it. I'm like, oh yeah, it's Christopher. Yeah, a couple of soprano actors. Yeah. I think every movie has like a cameo at some point, like some

other guy or whatever. Yeah. Does Michael Bay have a cameo in this one? I just trying to remember. I don't think so. I remember him and the others. I think yeah. I only noticed him starting in the second one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, I guess that's that's all. Like, I'm surprised we even had this much to say about the first one. Yeah, same. There's basically nothing of note about this movie. Yeah. It's like, just the most middle of the road, just nothing like actual movie.

I'll start with the ratings. I think I'd give it a five out of ten. Yeah, like, right in the middle. I was about to say out of five? Five. Yeah, it's right. Yeah, eternal sunshine. Yeah, it's on that level.

Maybe think, maybe rethink my life. Yeah, it's like a right in the middle of the road movie for me. like five out of ten yeah i guess i'm slightly lower i'd give it like a two star four out of ten it's just fine i wasn't really upset by anything i'd be more right down the middle with you if it was just a bit shorter because i did just start getting bored after like the hour mark like it is just kind of a repetitive formula after a while and like just not being able to distinguish like any of that action or comedy particularly it's just it's pretty one note but the most part but yeah and I'm giving this one a five out of ten it's a very mid very

forgettable not particularly notable in either direction it is definitely a film and it was released and people watched it and I get it and that's about it all right I like the two of them I like Martin Lawrence Will Smith they're decent um so when is the next one? It's like... Eight years later. Yeah, like you said, it's so... Yeah, so far after...

2003. Holy shit. And it's about... It's the same shit. I mean, I don't even know how to describe it any differently. It's Will Smith, Mort Lawrence, they're cops, and there's like a bad guy. I think there's even like less of a story here. They're like trying to take down some drug lord.

Uh, yeah, there's a bunch of these selling... Ecstasy. Yeah, the Cuban guy. But like, go to the story. Like, Martin Lawrence has a sister this time. And Will Smith and her had like a fling when he went to New York or something. So they have like a little relationship going on. And she's like an undercover like CI informant or whatever for like, yeah, the police.

And like, so she's part of the drug gang and like she's involved in it. And it's like Martin Lawrence is trying to get her out of it because it's her sister. And like Will Smith's kind of in love. with her and you know there's obviously a lot of comedy with that like oh will smith we we got to tell we got to tell martin lawrence that like we hooked up once or whatever and like martin lawrence like huh you know it's like a lot of that kind of thing um and yeah it's like Michael bay like when he starts to get like really fucking nuts with like the action and like the like the framing of like women and like close-ups on the asses and all that and like it's it's like the most

Michael Bay movie. To me, it's like his masterpiece. It's like the most Michael Bay movie. You could say that. It's a Michael Baysterpiece. It's like the best thing. It's probably the best thing he's done. Like, honestly, I can't even think.

Bad Boys 2 is to Michael Bay as Tenet is to Christopher Nolan. The most Nolan film he could make, the most Michael Bay film he could make. It's the most Michael Bay movie. Like, it's just action. scene dumb jokes, action scene dumb jokes, just like constantly. It's like impossible to take anything going on seriously. And I don't know. That's why this is my favorite one.

Easily out of the three. I think this is my favorite. I have like so much like I actually think the action scenes in this movie are fun, like some of them. I was really enjoying like that car chase scene in the beginning. Like that was like, to me that was like insane. Like I really enjoyed watching that, especially on like my new. TV, like, which I said on like the 75 inch with like the sound blasting. I'm like, this is like fucking crazy like this scene.

It's just like keeps going. It's so long. This like cars crashing through boats and this like cuts every second. And like there's like some really great like shots in it and like lots of energy to the camera work, I think. I think what way do you want to watch this movie at first was like, I think hot fuzz. Because you know, hot fuzz, this is like, they like make fun of this movie. That's funny actually.

Yeah. They reference it a lot, yeah. Yeah. They like shit just got real. Like they show that clip, I think, and Hot Fuzz. Like that's what, it's basically what hot fuzz is like parrying. Yeah. I feel.

We're like, and you know, part of it's like, they're making fun of it because it's like really stupid. But they're also like in a way like paying respect to it because it's like it is like one of those action movies I think of that's like, yeah, this is like, you know, this is like, you know, a Hollywood action movie. It's just like dumb shootouts and like, you know. But, but. But there's like some like amount of the craft to it that I like really respect. I really enjoyed like the practical action. I enjoyed like that it was really bloody and there were squibs. I enjoyed like the shootout.

It felt more like an R-rated movie. Yeah. I like that shootout in the house. Like that was cool when the camera's doing like the 360 around the characters and going through the bullet holes in the wall. I did I was like how many times are I going to fucking spin? Like how are you still going though? They went through the wall.

Yeah. They kept doing it, but like, at least this is like, at least it's memorable, like, unlike that first Yeah, it is very memorable. Yeah. No, excess is the word. Yeah. That scene you just described is for the most memorable scene from any of these movies to me. Yeah.

And I kind of wish it channeled that more so if there was more of that. Yeah. It felt like David Wahn shit. Sorry, James Watt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I did like some of the action, but I did, it's just that excess after a while, like you're saying that that car chase towards the beginning. Like, how long does it actually?

gone for because it goes off so long. Yeah, it's so fucking excessive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I can get down with that to a certain point. I was kind of happy about that because I was like, you know, this one's two and a half hours long. I was like, well, there better be like some long action sequences then, you know? It better not just be more dialogue. Right. It's long, but the action is long. I felt like there was more action, like a lot more. Like, not even just like a little more. I feel like this is like the most action out of any of the three of them. You get what you pay for. And like, that's what I want to see. Yeah, exactly. I just want to see like crazy action. Like, I don't give my shit about these characters

at all. I just want to see like crazy shots. And I feel like they, they really delivered like in like so many ways. And I just watched the behind the scenes of the movie too because I was like genuinely interested in like how they did some of these things. And it looked like it was a lot of fun to like film those action scenes just from like the behind the scenes. Like I think I think Michael Bay like was given a lot of resources to make the second one to. to make because like the first one was such a hit. And it's kind of like the big budget spectacle I like to see where there's just like a lot of really complicated, really dangerous stunts going on. A lot of practical stunt work that goes a long way.

Like I think that goes a long way in a movie like this. It's just like a dumb action movie. Like that car chase apparently took like four days to film that chase in the beginning, which honestly doesn't seem like a lot to me because it's like really kind of complicated from how it looked and you know they were using like many cameras the longest bridge of all time yeah that too driving on it for 20 minutes full speed no I was just uh comparing the budgets like the first one had a 19 million dollar budget and the second one added 130 million so that is like yeah and it looks a million like 19 million oh wow that's a huge difference yes that's

yeah yeah yeah yeah consider it was that low the first one that's That's pretty modest for like, especially compared to this later stuff. It explains a lot, actually. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, they were using a lot of different cameras. Some of the cameras they were using, like, were cheaper and were meant to be, like, destroyed. So they knew that they could get, like, really cool angles and just destroy the camera.

And, like, oh, I'm like, oh, okay, that's how they got that shot because that looked really cool. Like, the Ferrari also in that, that chase scene I wanted to mention, like, that was completely CGI. which I'm like really I couldn't tell it all that looked great I thought like that Ferrari and the chasing it's like mostly CG and most of the cars in that scene

and the boat like that was all CG I'm like that's really impressive like the CGI work when you can't even tell that it's CG like that's the best those are the best special effects

to me yeah anyway yeah like the blowing up of the house at the end that costs like a quarter of a million dollars like just for like a five second shot of course

like they spent like so much money at least they fucking did it, you know. Yeah, it looks fucking great. It looks cool. When they were driving the cars through the shanty town, that was awesome. Like, 11 cameras following it had tons of explosives. There's even like live extras running away to like really sell that it isn't just a set, you know? It's like you believe there are real people there, like, in danger. Like, that's, that's really cool. That's like a great detail. Yeah. Say what you will about like the substance of Michael Bay's films in terms of like artistic merit.

but like he knows how to make an action scene. He does, right? Like, he's not always successful at it. He doesn't always make a great movie. He doesn't always make a great scene. But, like, he, there's a lot of basics that other directors just forget and leave out in terms of, like, filming an action scene. What Michael Bay does is he makes it, you know, he provides the illusion that the cars are actually going fast and that they're crashing through things. And, you know, like, what you see on the screen, you're like, oh, I'm seeing the thing on the screen.

not like, it's not like, oh, that's not happening sort of thing. Like, it's like, wow, you're actually watching something. Yeah, it has like a great, yeah, like speed to it. Like, even during the behind the scenes, Michael Beck kept me all, like, go faster, go faster. Like, the people driving the cars, like, you need to go faster. Like, that was great. Yeah, like, seeing him directed cars to get people and like. Yeah.

It kind of makes me think of Snyder a little bit where it's like, well, yeah. There is something in there. Like, they clearly know how to assemble some parts of this and make the core of like an action. kind of spectacle work but like man for the stuff around it like this movie's got it's like whiplash to me

where it's like it's got the best stuff from this franchise but also like the worst some of the scenes of this movie I can't fucking stand yeah especially the comedy yeah the comedy especially

that whole sequence that like just does not end where they go to that like video the TV store and it's like this like really long like gay joke basically because Martin Lawrence is like shot in the ass at the beginning.

Yeah. That was terrible. You only Jesus. Yeah. Terrible. The ecstasy scene like you were mentioning. That's probably the, that's honestly the funniest scene to me. That's probably the one I go to the like, oh wait, that was like not painful.

Yeah, yeah. That bit was fine. Yeah, I thought that was okay, actually, the ecstasy joke. I liked the first half of it. I think it went on for a bit too long. I liked where it was where it started going. I think Roger Eber pointed out his review of the whole joke with like when the, when the or when the daughter has like the boyfriend character over and they like fuck with him.

He didn't really, he wasn't really a fan of that scene. I didn't think it was very funny. I'm not really a fan of it either. I didn't think that was very funny. That's another scene that goes on way too long. It's like, yeah, this could be cut. Yeah, it's, it's kind of lame, but I can imagine people in the theater laughing. You know, I get it.

You know, I understand it. Yeah, me too. What about like the whole corpse angle? That was so weird. It's like a lot of jokes at the expense of corpses. Reminded me a G-lie. They like one of corpse over and like it gets like its head like popped off. Oh, that was awesome.

Those were those parts were legitimately great. I loved that they did that. Nobody does that. That's cool. At least it was memorable, right? Yeah. It's outrageous. Yeah, it's such a strange line because it's like if it was more consistently outrageous,

I feel like I'd like it more. Yeah. It's just like, tiny moments. I guess I'm just trying to figure out like what are you going for? Is this like more of a. kind of tame a family action sort of thing? Are we going in the... It's about family.

Yeah, because they do basically do that. Yeah. Fast and Furious thing. Like, they do try and do that. But at the same time, they go into the morgue and lift up. Oh, and it's the dead woman with her huge breasts and like... That was weird. Yeah.

She's got big boobs. That was really fucking weird. And it's not just like one throwaway gag. It like comes back like a few minutes later. Like, you sexualized a dead body, Michael. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. And rats.

Yeah. What the fuck? Sexualizes every woman in this movie. Oh yeah, the rat fucking joke. Yeah, I remember that. It's just like every woman in this movie that was like close ups on asses and like, you know, every woman's bikinis. The camera went through all of their legs like every time it was in the club scene or whatever. Oh, yeah.

20,000 shots of just like, whew-shoo, wee, wheel, we-wee-le-dress. Yeah. Forget professional upscrut photographer, Michael Bay. Yeah, basically. Yeah, no, there's literally on that same note, there's like, like, Megan Fox is like briefly in this movie. Oh, yeah? And she was like 15 years old.

Oh, God. She was in, well, yeah. What? She was in the, like, dance scene. It's fucking, yeah. She was in the dance scene as a 15 year old? Oh, man. I don't even remember her.

That's weird. Yeah, Michael Bay, like, was like, oh, you. No, no. He, like, made her go under, like, the water fountain or some shit. Yeah, I was, I was searching up about it. Weird. Yeah, really. I didn't know that.

Yeah. Well, there's Hollywood. Strange. It's kind of creepy. This is Michael Baby vibe. Some of his stuff, you know? Yeah. Yeah, don't do that.

That's kind of weird. At least there wasn't like a 10-minute Romeo and the Romeo and Juliet Clause scene, like Transformers 4. Oh, I've forgotten about that. Yeah, it's just like all of his movies have that shit. And it's like, this is like the start of it. It's like right in the middle for me where it's like, it's not too bad yet, but it's like the start of it was mainly the action.

where it was like really fuck Michael Bay and wilds like the action scenes. I'm like, okay, these are fun. Like these are fine. I wish there was more of that. But yeah, it's just like the dumb, like the sex, the kind of like borderline sexist stuff. And like, yeah, like the dead body like with the boobs or whatever. Like yeah, that didn't work for me. Even when I saw it when I was younger.

But what stuck with me as like a kid seeing this is like like those action scenes, like those moments where you watch a movie is like a teenager and you want to like rewind to just watch like the cool parts. It's like, yeah, those action scenes are really fun. Like, it's just like, yeah, this is the rest of this shit. Like the jokes and like the humor. Again, Joey Pants is in the movie. He's doing the same shit he did in the first one.

Like, I, this scenes with him honestly blend together to me. Like, I don't know what scene is from the first one, which scene is in the second one. He's just like in both of them is the same, like he's doing the same shit. And yeah, like the, what was that? You said in the opening Adam, like the wazoo. Wooza. Whatever. They just kept.

Yeah, they did that forever. It's like, it's not funny when you do it fucking 28 times in the movie. It's like everything's so excessive. Like, everything is way past the point of comfort. Especially like with the humor. Like, oh, you just shot me in the ass. I didn't shoot you in the ass. You shot me in the ass.

I shot you in the ass. Oh, yeah, you just shot me in the ass. My ass is what you shot. I shot you in the ass. And just like, okay. That's what so much the humor is like, though. And gets him a donut. Yeah.

Yeah. and they're in the helicopter. It's like, oh, I go to therapy. Yeah. Like, yeah, it gets funnier every single fucking time you say it. Ha ha, you said he shot me in the ass. Ha ha. It's so, it's funnier every time.

Like, shut out. Yeah, like, it would have been funny if it was just like a one, like one little gag in the movie. They just like keep doing like the same jokes like over and over and over. It's like the same problem with that first one with the body switching thing. Except here it's like even more dumb jokes that they repeat. This is like so many like just pointless fucking dumb jokes. Yeah. The runtime, man.

Two and two and a half hours. I can't. The first one was dragging for me. For the dumb action movie. It's very long. At least there's more action though. Yeah, it is more like bombastic, but it's also, it is more like sleazy. It's just more of everything.

Yeah. It is just basically a remake of that first movie, but with a hundred million dollars pumped in. Yeah, but more. It's just but more the movie. is a lot. Yeah. I think that the music was better in this movie, for the most part. Some of it was not great.

Some of it, basically they had, I don't know if you noticed in the credits at the beginning, but they had P. Diddy as a music supervisor. Oh, really? A lot of the tracks had a lot more rhythm to it, which I felt like fit the film. Like, it was like, oh, okay, like kind of, you know, good, like, old school 90s hip hop sort of, or I guess early 2000s hip hop kind of rhythm stuff. Some of it, I wish, had a bit more polish. It felt like, it felt like something you could find on YouTube for free

that other people are supposed to freestyle over. Like somebody just like drop the beat and like, here, you can freestyle with it, have at it. It's royalty free. Yeah, they overuse, they overuse like that same track, I think. There's like this track that keep reusing. I was just like, yeah, it's like too much in the movie. Oh, are you talking about the one that has like the bit of guitar in it? Maybe. It's hard to remember. This is like this is one they keep reusing.

I'm like, yeah, this felt like something P-Ditty, like, wrote. And they're just like, yeah, keep using it. It's great. Keep using it. There's a track that they used a few times, at least twice. And it's actually an instrumental to Dr. Dre song that I immediately recognized. And I can't say the name of the song. It's called Bitch N-Words.

with a Z at the end. And it was kind of funny. Just hearing that, it was like, oh, it's... Yeah, maybe it was that. Yeah. They played that one a couple times. Oh, interesting. It's Dr. Dre.

Yeah. Yeah. They used it a few times. Michael Bay had a cameo. I guess they steal his car. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's fun. I... Can you explain that other cameo?

There was like a football player or something? Oh, was that it? I don't know. Dan Marino. There's like a little moment dedicated to him. I had to like Google's name because I didn't know who it was, but they made, they seem to make like a big deal about this man being in the movie for some reason. Oh, yeah. Was that in like that car scene?

Like steal the car? Yeah. And he's like, oh, let me know how it drives. Yeah. Yeah. That's who that was. Okay. So, yeah, they did, they were making a big deal about him.

I remember that. And also, um, Michael Shannon in the movie. Oh, yeah. A small part. As a white supremacist. Yeah, I was happy to see him. Yeah, he's like, he's like some redneck guy. Like, the cool, he's like a Klan meeting at the beginning.

Yeah. Yeah, that was kind of a funny opening scene. Can we talk about how fucking weird that is? Yeah, that was weird. Like, it's like a cool Klux Klan meeting at the beginning. You're like, yeah, let's start the movie with this. Exactly. There's a clan meeting.

And then two black guys break in and shoot them. Well, here's the thing. It's like you've got this team of writers where this is a sequel in the are tasked with like okay we've got this action movie it's Michael Bay but they're black where do we where do we take these characters in their first fucking idea for like the intro is like oh let's have them do the Ku Klux Klan thing it's like because they're black that's where they go it's like okay like you're so creatively bankrupt like that's kind of weird you know like Jesus

but that's just Michael Bay all over it's the most obvious joke yeah uh huh yeah they got I think that helped them with their excuse to be like a little violent too in the intro? Sure. Yeah, it's like, yeah, fuck these people. You could shoot them or whatever. Like, you can make that work, I think. It's just the way it's done in the film. Yeah. It doesn't really work entirely. There's like parts that are funny. It's not Spike Lee's thing. It's not even like Tarantino where like the seat in Django where they like take off the hoods and they're like, this one doesn't fit my head or whatever.

Like, that was funny. Like, this is like, again, the joke is just that it's a clan meeting or whatever and then like it's just like dumb action breaks out like it could have been anything it's like it's just an action scene it's just like a way to start the movie you know yeah there's so much action just so much like shooting and like crazy shots in it will smith dual wielding yeah the dual wielding it's like it's max pain and rolling on the ground and shooting both guns as he's rolling like upside down I was do wielding like such a thing in the early 2000s just everyone It apparently looks cool.

Probably not accurate. Yeah. You're going to threaten someone with one gun? How about two guns? In case the first bullet doesn't hit the right spot in your brain or something. I don't know. Well, what he does in the movie, he dual wields and points one gun, like, one direction, one gun the other direction. Yeah, he's going to...

It's like, there's no way you could, like, hit all those targets. Most of the time, he's got two guns at the one direction. Yeah, but like, even if you're holding it like that, there's like no way you can, like, hit your targets. like at the same time. It's like, you're way too inaccurate. It's like, there's no way you can even see what you're aiming at, like, at the same time. But it doesn't matter.

It's just like a dumb, like, it's just so hard to take this movie seriously for me. Yeah. It's like almost impossible. Yeah, the runtime definitely drags it down. I probably would have liked them more if it was like shorter. Mm. Yeah. And you could cut so much about.

Yeah, I probably could. Right. one of the things that really stuck out to me about this movie was like the color grading it's like I don't know what the fuck they did but they just decided like oh yeah this will be like a really vivid really over saturated movie and it was such a weird thing because it stood out from the first film so much it was like holy shit it was like a weird music video like again excessive like is the only way to describe yeah like you you pushed it a little too far Michael You got a tone of back of it.

Like a lot of filters on the camera. Yeah. Yeah. Very strange. I just can't believe how different it is from like the first one. It's crazy. It's like so many parts of it. Like when I watched the first one, I was expecting like this film.

Like maybe like a little more tame. But it was like so much, it was so much more conventional than this movie was. To me, this movie's like crazy. It's but more. I remember things about it from the first time I saw it. Yeah. Like like the dead bodies. I'm like.

Love it. crazy like chase scenes and yeah. I do think it's impressive like from like a technical level. Like I do like the stunt work. I think it's really cool like how they were able to construct these scenes and like the CGI and like it is impressive like the action. I've never really had an issue with his action in his movies. That's like what I've said that consistently.

It's just like everything else around it. It's like the story and like the comedy. This is probably like one of his better movies even in terms of that. Sometimes it kind of infiltrates it, though. Well, yeah, they cut to, like, the dumb one-liners during the action scenes. Constantly. It never ends. It's like, the chase scene is happening.

Yeah, well, it doesn't, at least it's not taking itself seriously. But it's so weird because it's like you get like five seconds of car chase, and then you cut back to Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, and they have like some weird commentary on it. Like, I don't know, they're like they're a reaction channel in some shit. Like, whoa. And then cut back back. to the case scene and then like back and forth, back and forth. And it happens like fucking 14 times or some shit. And it's like, holy shit.

It's crazy. Again, just weirdly excessive. But yeah, they're like interrupting the action scene just to have, just like, oh, remember this is a comedy also. This one's trying so much harder to be a comedy, this film. It's just trying to be like everything. It's like, to me, it's Michael Bain is like a victim of like the Hollywood formula. He's just like, I need to have hot chicks and comedy and these two stars.

it all right well I'll just throw it all in and turn it up to fucking more more yeah it's just like I can't really blame him is it this like what people want to see right it's like this is like everything I wanted in a dumb action movie it was very successful it was I mean I get it it's like you know I love the ending when the guy like steps on the landmine and just fucking like body explode that's hilarious more of that Yeah. That would have been also. The chameleon or iguana, just like out of nowhere, like, just at the right time, like, you're on a minefield.

And then just you get the visual of like, okay, that just blows up right next to you. And everybody's like, okay. What? It was so weird. Yeah. It's crazy. Like, the resources he gets to, like, make a movie. That's like this stupid.

People keep seeing it. Audiences enjoy it. It got an A on cinema score. So. Yeah. Well, again, I respect something. like this stupid. It's like, yeah, why even why even try to, you know,

no pretense? Like, who even cares about the story? That's not why you're here, right? You just want to see dumb shit. Like, here it is. Yeah, that is an interesting thing about his movies. Like, he doesn't really have any critical success, but he's just had that commercial success again and again. Like, people are just fine.

He knows what people want to see. Yeah. Yeah. He's like if Zach Snyder's fans weren't all bots. Yeah, exactly. Like, shity real people, right? Exactly. Yeah. You know with Zach Snyder, he overuses the CGI, and he's, like, actually trying to tell

a story. Like, that's why his movies are so freaking boring. Like, this movie, it doesn't give a fuck. It's just like, whatever. Like, you know why you're here. Like, Zach Snyder is kind of like humorless and like... Oh, yeah. Takes himself way more seriously.

Just like dead pattern with Michael Bay is almost like the opposite where he needs to be like real back. Like, just... Zach Snyder is a lot more... a little bit. Oh, for sure. Yeah, I never get like any pretense from, from Michael Bay. It is very much just, yeah, this is clearly what he likes. Girls, explosions and funny.

And Wussar. Yeah, attempts it funny. Yeah, the Wussar, they get sold. I like how the first scene was like three or four cutaway gag flashbacks in a row. I was like, this is like a fucking Seth MacFarlane film or some shit. It was so weird. Yeah, that was terrible. Yeah, like, I'm like, this could have been cut out.

Did they explain in any of those, I think, I think someone in my chat said that they explained, but I didn't really get the full picture, but the female lead from the first film, we were just were just forgetting about her, right? Did they explain like, like he dated her and then they broke up or something? Is that something they said? I couldn't even tell if someone was being zero. I don't even remember a line addressing it. Yeah, I don't know if they did address it.

I don't think it even matters. It's just like absolutely disposable character. Like, yeah, she's not real. Okay, bye. She was annoying. Yeah, exactly. Bye. Yeah, exactly.

She's reached the ripe old age of 26. She can't be in movies anymore. Not Michael Bay movie. Yeah. Old news, right. Is he get with that frat boy thing, like, hit it and quit it, move on. They say in the third one that he broke up with the sister in this movie. It's like, oh, that time I broke up your sister.

I was surprised they even addressed that. Yeah, me too. Yeah. I guess they had to because it was Martin Lawrence's sister. It's not just like some random chick. It's like actually the character's sister. Like, all right, so what the fuck happened to that character? Eh, not in part.

Exactly. But on that note, can, can you guys break down that, like, weird moment of conflict Martin Lawrence and Will Smith have, like, over the sister character. Like, they're like, Martin Lawrence gets angry at Will Smith because he finds out that they were dating. as if like he has some say on whose sister like dates? It's like really weird. It's like a social thing that like people makes people uncomfortable. It's like one of those unwritten rules like, yo, you're my homie, don't date my sister sort of thing.

That's it. There's no like logical reason. It's just it's social. It's because they needed forced drama in the film. So it's like, oh, right in a scene where there's like drama. It doesn't even have to make sense. Like do you remember the whole bit about how Martin Lawrence like wants to retire or something and leave the force? Like, they don't do anything with that.

Like, nothing comes of that by the end of the film. He's just like, he stays a cop at the end of it. He's just like, okay. It's just because you needed some scenes of, like, dialogue in between the fucking crazy action scenes and the dumb jokes. The seeds of him on ecstasy. Yeah, and they keep making fun of him going to, like, therapy and stuff like that. Like, that's an ongoing gag. He's, like, trying to be peaceful.

Yeah. Yeah. They're making fun of, like, that's one of the core jokes. Mental health and shit. And basically, like, ha, ha, you're trying to have some self-control. Ha ha ha. Trying to prove yourself. Ha ha.

Yeah, exactly. Like, that's Michael Bay's humor. It's like making fun of everyone. That was like, you're all stupid. That was the 2003 version of wokeism. It was like, oh, yeah. Spirituality and new age and self-help and yoga. Yeah.

But to me, though, I just don't think it's that bad in this movie. Like, I see, I see why some people would have an issue with it. I just don't think it's as extreme as this later movies in terms of that, those aspects. I just, I really enjoyed the action. And, yeah, like, the comedy and whatever. I just don't mind it. I'm like, yeah, this is dumb. Like, I don't take this seriously at all.

Yeah, the runtime is definitely a problem. Like, I think that's like the biggest criticism I have with most movies. It's just like, it could be shorter. And yeah, this could definitely be shorter, especially because it's like so stupid. Yeah, there's tons of things you get cut out. Like Joey pants, he doesn't do anything but run around and act like the cliche captain. He yells at them. Yeah.

But like, nothing comes. He gets mad because there's more buddies. Yeah. He's the reason why they have to not have as many buddies. It's just to add to the humor, I guess. Yeah, I think there's supposed to be like comedy. Yeah, like humor. That's the thing.

I guess if you found the jokes funny, it would be awesome. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Well, then it would be hot fuzz, which is actually great. Yeah. The hot fuzz has a perfect balance of both. It has good action and it has good comedy.

Yeah. It's like, no. Yeah. shorter more to the characters. Yeah. And they're like more characters in that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and the truth.

Just everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And again, that's self of like, that sense of like self-awareness too. Like, okay, you know, it's a dumb action movie. It's like we're making fun of. Here, this is, this is the dumb action movie.

Like, it's not even making fun of dumb action movies. It's just like, you know what this is. This is this trash. It's like kind of trash. So just like have fun with it. I'm like, all right. There's definitely something to appreciate here about like the stunts and whatever. It just could be shorter.

Yeah. I still enjoyed parts of it. So this film was set in Miami and in my head canon for this, like, I'm imagining that there's some massive oversight or they defunded the infrastructure for windows in Miami, in my head. because every window is super breakable. Like, you just, you just, like, push someone against the fucking, the transit system window, they fall out. The guy's pushing the desks through the windows, like, at the beginning, like, over top, and they start shooting out. I'm like, why didn't you just shoot out the windows? Like, it was so weird.

I guess they were trying to block the cars with a desk, I'm not sure. But the fact that they just, like, could you imagine pushing a desk through a window like that? And the window just, like, shatters? It's so funny. Yeah, it's probably very difficult, right? Yeah. Like, you can't just do that. It's just so fragile.

But it looks cool. Right. It's just like every, every thing. It looks cool. Yeah. It's got the logic of like a video game. It's like, it's like vice city. It's like whatever.

Landing in water from any height is just like a save all. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, I don't have much else to say. Me neither. I don't know if you do. Okay.

No. I enjoyed Martin Lawrence on Ecstasy. I like the action Yeah I can definitely appreciate great stunts in action The rest of it, whatever I don't think it's as unwatchable As the Transformers movies

I just think it's much more watchable Than something like that I was really impressed by the action In this film Some of the best Like card chase scenes I've probably seen like ever Honestly

Especially that like spinning around Shootout The scene at the end When they blow up the house and like go through the shanty town, the car chase at the beginning. I'm like, those are really cool scenes. Like, I really enjoyed that. The, you know, the shit just got real shot.

You know, that was cool. So I'd probably give it like a six out of ten. It's like, I don't even believe in the term like guilty pleasure. I just like, yeah, I enjoyed parts of it. It's just like, it could have been so much shorter. I probably would have liked it more. I might have even bumped it up to a seven if it was just much shorter than it is. Yeah.

But yeah, it's a solid six out of ten. It's definitely the best one, I think, out of this trilogy. It's just for me. Yeah, I think within that two and a half hours, you could trim it down in something I might enjoy. Something a bit more consistent, less bloated, like, just less excess, because just every single element is just access to the max. That's the thing that just holds me back. So am I really going to want to sit through this again, like, the two and a half hours of that kind of mindless excess, the sleazy excess? I don't know, because I do like that, like, small confined, the Haitian scene or whatever,

where it's just spinning around like crazy, going through the holes in the wall, just wish there was more of that, more the confined stuff. It's just all over the place to me. I'd always been, like, curious about this one in particular, because it does have, like, the reputation and being in hot fuzz and reference and whatnot. I'd only seen, like, little snippets here and there a bit, but as, like, a whole package, it's just, it's just so Michael Bay. And I guess that's either just like marmite to you.

And it's kind of like, I don't know, just kind of disgusting. It might as to me. But as far as it ratings concerned, I'll just give it like a two star. The same as the first movie, four out of ten. Like, yeah, it's definitely the best of the series and has the best moments. But yeah, it does have the worst as well. I probably won't be watching it again. Yeah.

It, uh, it was excess to the end. excess. It was somehow more enjoyable but also more boring at the same time. More memorable but more forgettable. It was too long. And

yeah, I mean, there's more from this film that I like that I can even pick out in my memory. But Holy shit, there was a lot of just like, it was also kind of bad. It was also pretty, pretty stupid and not great. I would give this a four out of ten. I would also like to just point out.

The ending was terrible. The ending was like super abrupt. They like completely shatted out, which is weird because you have like two and a half hours, you know, already. Again, the same joke. The pool like, the pool like breaking or whatever. Oh, that, yeah. Yeah, like even like just before that,

it's just like it fades out on like them kissing and it was like oh right what the fuck it's like so weird yeah it's just not interested in anything like that it just wants to wrap up once the action's over the bull joke was so funny they're doing it again yeah exactly it was like when that first happened i'm like holy shit this is just how out of touch hollywood people are like it's just like even even if you're like even if you're rich like i don't know i feel like people would have more of a reaction to like the pool being broken like oh my god I could have to buy a new one like that's a huge

financial burden like I don't know it's just weird how they were like oh well that was dumb yeah like the slapstick stuff yeah just really they're like cops like how are they able to afford like all their shit like we'll spend this fucking he gets his car destroyed it's like yeah they're like

it's like a foreground pool and stuff yeah it's like it's gonna cost $25,000 to redo your car. That should be like his whole like year salary basically. Like like yeah, Martin Lawrence DePoley like yeah, it's $3,500 to get it installed. They're like, yeah, that would be bad. That would be like, you know, we'd have to take out like a debt or something like whatever. Yeah. He's just not supposed to think about it. It's like impossible to take it seriously. It's supposed to point in law. Yeah. Main characters in big budget movies often

have like infinite money and just like ridiculous homes. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a video game. Right. Everybody lives in a mansion. Like, this is how normal people live, right? This is like the average person. It's always so funny. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, whatever. I definitely understand what you're saying. Mm-hmm. I still enjoyed it. Okay. Want me just go right into the third one? Okay. So, Bad Boys for Life came out 2019, right?

2020, right? For Life. It came out 2020. Yeah, yeah, and it's starring, you know, Martin Lawrence, same people. So this one's credit. I think it has a little bit more of a story. There's like this whole like kind of cartel leader who escapes for prison and she has this vendetta against Will Smith because of like some personal background stuff going on.

And aside from that, yeah, it's kind of the same shit, you know, the two cop characters and, you know, they're going through some stuff and they got to uncover some kind of crime. and yeah I don't know about this one that's um I thought this was a huge drop off yeah I thought so as well well just to like start with like the fact that these are action movies the second one gets to the action like pretty quickly it takes like about not even like 20 minutes to get into that cool like car chase and even the film like heat which we talked about like it's like right at the start there's like an action scene like a heist I'm like oh that's cool this movie takes like a good like 40 minutes, I think, to like get into some action and it's very brief and like, there's not a lot of

action. It's so funny. Yeah, it's like a lot of like dialogue and like actually trying to develop these characters, which is like, I feel a huge mistake because they are cliches, they're walking cliches. Their writing's terrible. Like you, they don't have the talent to develop these characters but they're going to try anyway. It's so awful.

Yeah. By the way, this is from the bat girl director. The cancelled bad girl movie Oh, is it? Uh-huh Interesting. Okay.

Which makes me want to see it more. It's so forbidden. Yeah. Yeah, true. Yeah. Adil El Arabi. Yeah. It just reminded me of like the,

you know, just Hollywood just won't let certain IPs just die or just stay where they belong, you know? I just leave the Matrix alone. Leave Independence Day alone. Leave Jurassic Park alone.

It's a textbook legacy sequence. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's just like 17 years later let's try bad boys again but make it like oh yeah they're kind of old now he's retired and he can make the kind of old jokes yeah audience and fan base will be like kind of in line with them oh my back yeah no it's just so buy the books mm-hmm yeah those directors they didn't really bring much style to like this movie at least spikele bay brought like a style it was weird

yeah it looked very bland well because it was like it at parts where it was almost like okay are you trying to like emulate what was in the previous films because you're not doing a great job right massively turned down near the beginning of the film there's this really really weird editing choice so they get out of the car the camera sort of uh like pans around and martin lawrence opens his door and it's the fire hydrant or whatever right but you get that nice like sweeping pan of the i don't remember what model of car but you know it moves from will smiths side all the way to Martin Lawrence's side. And by the time it gets to Martin Lawrence's side, that, you know, he hits the fired hydrant. And then it just cuts to Will Smith and then it

cuts back to the shot still continuing. Like you had, like you had the full shot that you could have just used seamlessly, but instead you cut like to Will Smith. And all he was saying was like, way. And that's it. It's like, well, you could have just had that in the show. It was so abrupt and so weird. It was so, it's like a competent. Yeah, it was a non, such a nonsense choice that was just like, Wow. Like, you have... Yeah. The shot's there.

You didn't have to do... You could ADR him, even if he didn't say it in the take. He was out of frame, you know? Yeah, they try to replicate like the shot from Bad Boys too when they say shit's got real, except like, they don't capture any of what made that shot, like, work. Like, it doesn't look as good. There's not as much stuff in the background. And like, even like dramatically where it is in the story, like, what worked about

that shot is like at the end of the movie, it's like, okay, shit is getting real. Like, you know, they're about to do the final act or whatever. like, it's just like plopped in. Yeah, it was a reaction to something dramatic. Yeah, I don't even remember what it was reacting to in this one. Sure, sure. Like, yeah, like the sister got kidnapped. Right, it's just like a random thing that happened.

Like, yeah, it's like totally forgettable. Yeah, it just felt like a reference, a member type thing. They brought back Reggie. Yeah, member berries, like you said. Reggie's back. Oh, the boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah.

And DJ Khalid. Another one. Oh, yeah, well, the DJ Khalid scene was terrible. He was only in it for like a minute. He's not an actor. No, he was really bad in that scene. Yeah, I thought maybe he had like a song or something on the soundtrack and that's why he was in the credits. But no, he's just straight up like a character in the movie.

Yeah, he owns like a deli or like a pork store. It's like, what? Oh, yeah. The funniest fucking thing in the world is when he says he's a hardworking man. Like, I'm just a regular guy. I'm like, dude, you were like the face of like privilege and nepotism. Like you look like you were born with like so much money that you're so detached you don't even understand like what milk costs like Another one you definitely you definitely you definitely got in the industry because of your talent like okay

Well you were talking about like how incompetent certain parts of this movie is there's that scene That that part where he touches Will Smith's sleeve I guess Will Smith is angry at him because he got like pig fat on his sleep but like it's not even clear like what he was angry about what are you doing with this character that feels so out of place for him what was even the joke there like it took me a second to even understand what was happening in that scene they were trying to do like a palt fiction type thing you know it was like oh i'm being intimidating now it's a much better movie yeah describe what marcellus wallace looks like they were trying to go for like oh i'm trying i'm pissing off the guy with a gun i'm sorry it was so like poorly done like it was like but that's not the character

That's not the character I remember at least. Like, it doesn't seem consistent with the other films. Say whatever you want about like bad boys one and two. You don't have to like them or think they're funny, but at least like the jokes make sense. Like the scenes in this movie, like the scene we're in the video of the store, like that was really lame, but at least it like made sense what the joke was supposed to be here. This is like, it's not even clear half the time like what they're trying to go for, like in the comedy or how it's shot.

Yeah. It was so weird. Yeah. near the beginning of the film, there's another character that kind of looks like DJ Khalid that's not. And he becomes, like, he's the sidekick of the sniper guy or whatever,

kind of. And it's weird. So, like, the whole knife scene happens, or he's like, ah, kills the guy. And then there's just a bunch of random characters just like staring in awe. Like, oh, wow, I'm going to stand still because this guy just killed everybody. But the lighting and the framing, there was so much visual attention on this one

character that even though he hadn't said anything yet, it was essentially spoiling, like, who was going to say something? Like, out of all these random characters, it's like a group of like, I don't know, five, six, eight people or something. But then there's just the way he's staged and the way he's, it was so weird. Just like, he had extra lights on him and shit. It was just like, what the fuck? Like, you're telling me visually that he's going to say something.

And then he does. It was just like, it's such a bizarre choice. The movie looks terrible. Oh, yeah. It looks terrible. They keep putting freaking filters on the camera. It's like so many filters. Yeah, there's so many orange filters.

It's like, oh my God, it looks awful. It has a weird look to it. It looks terrible. Yeah, really synthetic. Bad green screen, really blandly shot. There's points with like really bad muzzle flashes that look worse than like something you'd see in a YouTube video. It was like really noticeable.

Especially at the end. I'm like, yeah, I could find that fucking plug in like on my laptop. Yeah. Like, I have that. Like, it's like so cheap. I'm like, this is like a big budget movie. Yeah It's crazy

Yeah It is crazy Especially some of that green screen stuff Like whenever they're in like The interior of a car It's like really noticeable Oh yeah It never felt like they were driving

Ever Yeah Which was just not an issue really In those first two movies Or like that action scene on the bike With the like side car That looked like That sucked

Awful Yeah Yeah that looked really really Amateur Anytime you actually got shots Of the motorbikes Like them or the stunt men or whatever, stunt people,

they were driving so fucking slow. Like any individual shot. It's like, holy shit, you're going like two miles an hour. Like, how is it? How is it? What? Like, at least with Michael Bay, he provided the illusion. Right.

Michael Bay was there. He'd be going, go faster. Yeah, he provided the illusion that, you know, either they were driving fast or he was competent enough to make it seem like they were driving faster than they are. These directors weren't able to do. either. Like, it's just, if you're going to have them drive slow for safety reasons or something, at least make it seem like in the context of the film and the characters that things are happening fast, that's kind of important. Maybe, for sure. I just figured it's because, like,

Martin Lawrence is kind of getting older by this point. Like, they've just got to, like, hide on like, green screens, basically whenever they're doing any major action scene. But even, yeah, but even, like, the real stunt people were, it didn't seem like they were going fast at all. Like, ignore the shots with Martin Lawrence. Nothing was happening action-wise. It was like, you're just going for a stroll. Like, there's supposed to be a chase scene. You'd think you'd want to be going fast if you're trying to get away from the other

character or chase the other character. Like, why aren't you just going faster? Like, what the fuck? It was so weird. Yeah. Watch that scene again. It's crazy how slow they're going, like, legit. It's embarrassing.

It's like one of the most incompetent chase sequences I've ever seen. I feel bad I bought this on like 4K. It's like such a waste of. I expected much better than this. I knew it was gonna be like kind of planned, but yeah, this is like really dull. I think Martin Lawrence was trying. I don't think he was good. That's not what I'm saying. I think he was trying. It seems like he ran out of energy. He lost his fucking mojo, like... Yeah, he's getting up there. He was trying his best.

He seemed like he wasn't getting a proper night's sleep every night or some shit. Like, I don't know. I think he was doing his best with like them I mean, he has nothing to work with here. Like, the story is such, like, shit. Like, the script is terrible. The dialogue is terrible. Yeah.

I really had a problem with Will Smith much more than I did, Martin Lawrence. I thought Will Smith was, like, kind of bad in this movie. I felt he was, like, sleepwalking through it at points with, like, his line delivery, like, at times. Like, what he says, like, just because I fucked your mother doesn't mean I'm your grandpa. Like, the way he delivered that line was, like, really bad. I'm like, this. He's, like, really bad in this movie. He's like, he looks bored.

He's like not even, like, in the bad boys, too, he's yelling and, like, you could tell he's, like, going through crazy shit or at least he's, like, pretending to him. Yeah, he had, like, energy. Yeah, and this one, he's just like, if you try to run, I'm gonna fucking kill you. He's, he isn't yelling. He isn't, like, he doesn't sound like he wants to be there, honestly. Like, I just had such an issue with him. And it felt like they kept, like, riding around him, like, all these other subplots going on.

It's just like, Will Smith didn't even want to be in it. Like, that's just how I felt. It's like he wasn't even really trying or at least not trying as hard as I think he should have. And I thought Martin Lawrence was like at least like a little bit better. That's how I felt. Do you disagree? Yeah. No, no.

I mean, they were both really bad. But I think partially why Martin Lawrence stood out to me is particularly bad is probably because he was just so much better in the first two. Whereas like, where did what happened to my boy? Like, who heard him? You know? So that was where most of my attention was. Maybe. Maybe. I still thought he was better than Will Smith, though.

Will Smith just kind of seemed like out of it. He seemed like Gemini-Man. He seemed like he was just the same character. He definitely seemed like Gemini-Man. It's just like that serious... The plot was also Gemini-Man. That's serious Will Smith. I hate Will Smith when he's trying to take himself like too seriously.

It's like he's better when he's like trying to be funny or like have... He has like that charisma that's just kind of missing in this movie. He doesn't really have that here. He could have, but I don't think he did. It's like... Yeah, it's like too... He was too like bland in it. He was too bad.

boring. I felt, yeah, I just thought it was like his line delivery at times. It's really bad. Like, I noticed it, how bad it was. It's, it's also, like, some of the worst writing I've seen in a major film of, like, the entire decade. Yeah. Yeah, it was, like, hilarious. It was awesome. The jokes are so lame. It's so amateur. Like, even ignore the dialogue for a second, like, the way that we get the initial incident, essentially, of, like, Will Smith getting shot. is they decide to have a foot race out of nowhere. They're like, hey, why don't we race? We'll see who's faster.

And their police chief is like going to time it. And it's like, are they like, what kind of, it would. Yeah, what are they in high school? All you would have to do to fix it. If you, if you really wanted that to happen in the film, you could make, you could find ways to make it happen. You could have them drunk out of their mind. And then it's like, okay, now it makes sense that they're doing this stupid thing for

no reason. But that wasn't implied, right? It wasn't implied that they were shit-faced. They were just like, oh, yeah, let's have a foot race. Like, I don't know if maybe that was the intention originally in the writing, and then the directors forgot to communicate that, or maybe there's, like, a deleted scene or something. They weren't acting drunk.

It's just, they decided to have a foot race. And then Will Smith just gets shot. He's, like, turn it around to do the fucking stupidest lanky run and then just falls over. And that was, like, one of the funniest parts of the whole movie. I was like, I had more genuine laughs in this film than any of the other ones, for sure. It was so funny. Yeah, no, it's the funniest, ironically.

Like, what was cracking me up was the whole, like... Give me your 4K Blue Rail take. The reveal towards the end. You know, the reveal where they're like... Oh, yeah. It turns out that all along, Will Smith, like, 20 years ago, it was like an undercover age of somewhere, and he had this whole relationship with the villain,

and how does... They actually do the secret unknown son plot. Yeah. Like, why? Yeah. Yeah. The way they reveal it is so incompetent. Like, Will Smith seems a...

upset. I had no idea why. And he's just like, oh, it's my son. It's just like, he blurts it out. Like, what? What the fuck? Typically in movies where you have like, okay, you have this like crazy character who's like going around and killing everybody. He's too powerful. And then it turns out, oh, it's my son. Usually in those types of films, the reason why they do that is because the main character has some sort of like superhero trait where it's like, oh, it can only be my son because genetically like there's just so good at everything. Like, Will Smith's just a cop. Like, he's just a normal guy. He's just a cop who was driving fine.

Like, what? He was he the best sniper in the world? And then it passed down to him through his jeans. But they tried to play it off that way where it's like, he's so brutal. That's why he's your son because he never gives up and he's just such a great killer. And stuff. It's like, who are you? But if you remember, his son, he's a bad guy, but he doesn't kill innocent people. It's like the part he's about to kill Will Smith.

He's like, no, this is an innocent person in front of him. He's so good at it, though. Yeah. He's holding a cross. He's like, oh, so, like, dumb writing. Like, he's the bad guy. Just make him, like, kill people. He's the bad guy.

Like, what's the point? Like, trying to develop these guys. It's so corny. He's still, like, assassinate's, like, seven people. Yeah. Yeah, right. They were, like, rich people, so it's okay. It's like, okay.

It's so weird and unnecessary. Like, I was not, no way I could have predicted, like, they would do a, like, it's my son. And I did a lot of things off-scroup. before the other movies. Like, what? Yeah. I didn't expect that at all. Yeah, that was like a surprising reveal.

That was really funny. It's such an unnecessary thing to have in a bad boys film. Like, you're adding layers to it. Yeah. Who gives a shit? Right. They're trying to have a story here. It doesn't work.

They're trying to develop these characters. Right. Yeah. No, it was falling into the whole like the first and furious problem, you know, where it's like, okay, we've kind of spent everything that this initial story has to offer. So, oh, yeah, now let's just go to this random period of time that wasn't on screen and there was this whole secret backstory. And basically everyone just becomes superheroes. And it just turns into this, like, it just gets dumber and dumber and more and more stretched. And it's like

clearly their motivation based on that like Marvel Stinger at the end is that they were kind of like wanted it to half be a getting rid of Martin Lawrence like passing the torch type affair. Like you teased earlier that there's like a sequel in the works or whatever. And clearly that's, what the studio wants to happen. Yeah. Let's kind of turn this into a big franchise. It's like the Will Smith kind of Fast and Furious type action spectacle movie. There's a little Marvel teaser and the post credits, right, with like the sun.

Like, we got some work for you or whatever. Like, yeah, they're trying to like set up some sequel. Yeah, you can get your, get some years down. That fucking ensemble of annoying as, like, young characters that did not look like cops or any, whatever they were supposed to be. Oh, Vanessa Hodgins Fucking Vanessa Hudgens Yeah All of them

Yeah The Husky musical Girls uh None of them could act They were so annoying Holy shit Like the gang's all here Like this is your cast

You're presenting them as like A big group Of characters that you're supposed to like Attach to like You're supposed to like over the course of the movie Or some shit Like oh I'm glad to see them again Yeah like Blade 3 or something

Oh the gang's here Gang's going into a fight Oh like who the fuck It was so annoying I hated those characters. It's what they all do because, like, they tried to do that in, like, Indiana Jones 4 or the Independence Day Resurgence. So, yeah, let's try and pass this on to the new blood to keep the franchise going because that's what matters. It's just keeping it alive.

Keep the zombie walking forward. Jackass 4. Yeah. At least that, in that movie, it makes sense. I'm like, well, someone's got to do this. Yeah, that was actually funny, too. Yeah, that's not like a narrative. You're supposed to take seriously like this?

I was just going to mention the Joey Pants character. He was basically designed to be in like one scene in the first movie. That was like all his character was meant to serve a purpose as. And here he's like, it's just like they keep giving him these scenes. He's like he's not an interesting character. He's not, you know, they try to develop him. They give him a death scene. It's so pointless.

It's like, was I actually supposed to care about this character? Like, come on. Like, it's so silly. I would like to point out the near the beginning of the film the worst fucking fake out maybe of all time where it's like

you think that six months later after Will Smith you think it's a funeral and yeah everyone's crying close shots of their face and then like the pastor's like we're gathered here today to have a wedding and it's like all of a suddenly just like super happy

yeah the Will Smith comes up and the wheelchair. That was so annoying. Describing it, describing it doesn't even do it justice. It's so bad. It was so stupid. I was so bad at that. It's so stupid.

Yeah. Maybe it was supposed to be funny? I can't even tell. And then it's like, then you have the Joey Pants funeral. Joey Pants' character gets a real funeral. I'm like, what? Is this going to be a wedding? Like, he can still do it.

Yeah. Yeah. You're right. That makes it even worse. The fact that they actually have a funeral later on. Yeah. It makes it even more ridiculous. The fake out.

It's just, yeah. takes away from like the seriousness or the potential seriousness. Right. Potential because it's just like, again, these all these characters are fucking cliches. There's no reason to care about any of them. It's just like trying to develop them is so pointless. Yeah. It's so pointless and in like an action movie like this.

Like, does anyone care about this story? Imagine how awesome that that would have been if they did just like kill Will Smith off and like 40 minutes in. Yeah. It's just Martin Lawrence like by himself for the rest of the movie. Yeah, with all those annoying kids. Yeah, that's what I thought they were going to do because Will Smith seems so not interested in this movie. I mean, honestly.

Jesus. Well, so before this movie was like even made, they had like a fourth one plan, basically. Let's see, what was the timeline of events? All right. So this is going to be a mouthful, but this is kind of funny. All right. So Michael Bay, the director of the first two bad boys films stated in June 2008 that he might direct bad boys three. but the greatest obstacle would be the cost, considering Will Smith and himself had demanded some of the highest salaries in the industry.

By August 2009, Columbia Pictures had hired Peter Craig to write a script for the sequel. So this is like 2008 and 2009, we're talking about right now. February 2011, Martin Lawrence stated that the film was in development. Following several days, Jerry Bruckheimer announced in June 2014 that screenwriter David Guggenheim was working on the storyline for the sequel. Two months later, Lawrence said that a script had been written and roles had been cast in 2014. The following year in 2015, it was reported that director Joe Carnahan was in early talks to write and possibly direct the film. Sony Pictures Entertainment announced a short time later in August 2015 that there were plans for two sequels with Bad Boys 3 scheduled for release in February 2017, followed by Bad Boys 4 in February. In early 2016, Bad Boys 3 was pushed to June 2017 with no update on the release of Bad Boys 4.

Producers had planned to begin production in early 2017. Another delayed surfaced in August 2016 to avoid competition with the upcoming DC conference. comics film Wonder Woman. The studio pushed the film's release to January 12th, 2018. It was also revealed that the film would be titled Bad Boys for Life. In October 2016, interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Lawrence said that filming might begin in March 2017. In December 2016, an updated release for Bad Boys 4 was set for May 24, 2019. Sony announced in February 2017 that the film's release would be delayed for a third time in November 2018. The following month, Carnahan left the movie due to scheduling conflicts. In August 2017, Sony removed the third film from their schedule release,

and later in the month, Lawrence said the film would not happen. Planning resumed in February 2018 as Belgian directors Adele and Bila, Fala, what I can't say their names, were signed in place of Carnahan, and Smith and Lawrence were confirmed to reprise. Geek Worldwide reported that the third installment in the Bad Boys franchise would film November 2018 to March 2019 in Miami and Atlanta with a release date scheduled for January 17th, 2020. And it came out in 2020. And since this movie and since the slap Both Martin Lawrence and one of the Sony heads have confirmed like Oh yeah bad boys four is still happening despite the slap and everything

Yeah don't worry they basically yeah despite rumors we're still doing bad boys for even though the slap happened So yeah like production hell it seems like they couldn't get the ball rolling like they were trying to get it made in 2000 fucking eight Like holy shit yeah that's a bad sign right yeah for like any movie like any movie with development problems usually not a good sign for like how it's gonna turn out i want to mention too i don't know if you remember this is like this is the highest grossing movie of oh yeah it's because you know the pandemic i bet that yeah i bet the pandemic influenced it but domestically it's the highest grossing movie of of that year and it's like the third highest grossing worldwide yeah yeah 426 million apparently it was still profitable

worldwide yeah yeah even like worldwide it's like the third highest grossing it's a lot of money. It did really well. It was a huge success. Yeah. Which is like, it's a rated R like action movie. Like, I think that is kind of interesting. Yeah. Um, but yeah, it's not good. I just thought that was like, maybe it was COVID or whatever. I'm sure it wouldn't have been the same if like there wasn't like a quarantine because I think it came out like kind of before like the world fell apart or whatever. Well, January 2020, I think the quarantine things started happening in March. So it had a couple months like uninterrupted. Yeah. Yeah. It was definitely. Before that.

Yeah, I'm sure it would have been very different if not for the quarantine, but it is technically the highest grossing of that year. No other movies got released. Everything else just pushed their release date further. Yeah. The last movie I saw was like the Invisible Man and that was like February. So, yeah, I think I think you're right. It's like more March, April.

That's when quarantine started. Yeah, that's crazy. Like, this is like the highest grossing movie of that year. For US. The highest grossing American movie. Yeah. highest grossing U.S. Fuck you, Tenet.

These, like, two other Chinese movies that did better. Yeah, Tenet did fine, but, like, worldwide it did fine. Gosh, so that almost certainly will be a sequel then. Yeah, probably. I mean, it was so successful. That's what they're saying. They've confirmed it after this lap. What's so crazy to me is that they knew while they were making Bad Boys 3 and while

they were releasing Bad Boys 3, they were, like, they knew that they were going to make a fourth one. But they didn't call it Bad Boys 3. They called it Bad Boys for life. But that seems like such a better title for the fourth one. Bad Boys 4 life. That's sort of Bad Boys 4 life. That would have been great.

What are they going to call the fourth one now? Yeah, they're trap now. Three makes sense. Bad Boys 3. It's a trilogy. Why do you have to keep the number 3? You should be embarrassed of number 4. That's how these things work.

Be proud of number 3. I probably just feel like Bad Boys 4 ever. Oh, God. And that makes it a 4. No. No. Oh, boy. Oh, fuck. Speaking of like awful cheese, I lost my, my shit. When they, when they were in the

airplane and they said, we fly together, we die together. I like absolutely lost it. I was like, oh my God, you're really saying that. We fly together. Oh, because we're in an airplane right now. Holy shit. I can't believe that. Yeah. Or like this, we, we die together or whatever. He's like, well, you died when Martin Lund says that. Like, It's such bad dialogue. All the dialogue is terrible. Oh, yeah. You did die.

We revived you. Like, I meant we die together. Like, you're on your third or fourth life, bro, so it doesn't count. Okay. And they just, Martin Lawrence's character is, like, religious all of a sudden in this movie. It's like, it never implied he wasn't in the first two, but it wasn't really a part of of his character to such a degree where he's deciding, like, I can't be violent.

I promised God I wouldn't. Like, what? That's such a crazy thing to add to your third. movie all of a sudden. Is that supposed to be a joke? It was like a part, yeah, it was a part of like the character conflict. Yeah, he was acting like it was a huge reveal. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, he did that like it was a big deal. Yeah. I promised, I promised God that I wouldn't do violence if you survived. And then Will Smith has to convince him to like shoot the people that are trying to kill both of them. Okay. God gave you this guy and like, would you have just let it happen?

Like, if Will Smith didn't convince you? you just be like, well, I got shot, but... It's impossible to take this seriously. It's just like, I do not care about any of these characters. The dialogue scenes are just terrible. So much of this movie is dialogue, no action. And the action sucks. Yeah, it's just like really...

Makes me miss those first two. Like, the craft of, like, certain scenes. They're not great. Yeah. I definitely like them more than this. Well, the first films, like, there's more practical shit going on. And like I said earlier, like, it feels like they're... driving fast. It feels like they're going through the things and the, you know,

explosions and things are happening. In this film, they fucking C.G'd the windows exploding at the end. Like, the windows of the, they couldn't even just, like, have a, you know, the windows explode. The CG fire, the fucking muzzle flashes look so bad. It looks so bad. Yeah. The muzzle flashes were atrocious. I hate it. Oh, I hate it so much. I hate that CG fire. And the helicopter, like, crashes. through the building like it's supposed to be like oh so epic but it's like you don't believe that any of this is happening for like a second you know none of it is like convincing yeah i don't understand how i'm supposed to be exhilarated or impressed yeah i gotta say um this this franchise has a real

villain problem like we've like barely even mentioned anything about any of the villains in any yeah that's true because it's what it's the it's the villain's the villain the villains are the critics. Yeah, basically. I guess the Cuban guy from the second one's probably the most memorable one just because he's like kind of excessive as we're saying the second movie is and he's

like cutting apart. They're like Russians and stuff and it's yeah, it's a good death at the top. But like... A witch. Yeah, who is it in this movie? It's the witch woman. We had like a relationship with

and they have this really complicated assassination. Yeah, it's really strange because you would think you'd want to hire someone with charisma to match the two leads. So at least you have some kind of like dynamic to exploit. Yeah. As opposed to whatever they're doing.

Felt like she could have been a villain in Tom Cruise is the mummy. Yeah, yeah. Like different movie. Yeah, it's just like you could have thrown in anybody, right? Yeah, like you're right. The villains are usually like the best parts of certain action movies. Like Hans Gruber and Die Harder. Yeah.

James Bond movies like, you know, Romney Malik, Javier Bartem. Yeah. Badz Mickelson, right? Like you need like, yeah, if they got like an actor that caliber, that would have added a lot to the movie. Like a foil of some kind. Sure. Yeah. And yeah, I guess I do appreciate this movie's like a little less like with like a little less with the sexist humor like the ass shots or whatever.

Like they try to have like they try to have developed like female characters who are just like sex objects. But yeah, it ends up being very bland at the end of the day. Like I do appreciate the attempt. But yeah, they're just not interesting. Like, not of the female characters in this movie are interesting. They're like every other character. They just suck. Like, every character sucks.

There's no point even developing anything. Yeah, they're just, you know, the Michael Bay movies were just a bunch of action movie cliches. And so were the characters. And it's like, there's no point even trying to develop it past that. Yeah. And Michael Bay is a cameo in the wedding scene. Yeah. But that was fun.

So I'm glad we all seem to agree that the third one is particularly bad because I'm going to blow your mind. The IMDB ratings for the bad boys film the first one is 6.8, the second one is 6.6. And the third one is 6.5. So, like, it seems like most people,

they all thought that they were about the same. But, like, this film just, it feels so embarrassing. Like, if you like the act... I don't understand how someone could watch the actions, scenes in this film and treat them on the same level or caliber as the others. Like, it's just, yeah, none of it feels convincing in any way. Like, they're not even driving fast. They're driving slow.

It's so embarrassing. I don't understand. I don't get it. Yeah. It's like a huge drop-off for me, like more than point one from the second film, you know? Yeah. recency bias and you know the fact that it's so much money a lot of people saw it yeah i i do think those first two are much better like yeah they're not comparable even just talking about it now yeah yeah

this one just feels like pathetic they made me miss michael bay that's crazy yeah yeah yeah for sure um yeah those aren't great movies by any means but they're yeah i do appreciate the stunts in the action. Like I said, I do think those practical stunts that look really dangerous go a long way. Yeah. Like selling that kind of movie. Um, and yeah, here it's mostly CG shit. It looks terrible.

And it's very blandly shot. Yeah. It's way too bland. Yeah. The writing's terrible. Yeah, it did just feel like Gemini Man combined with Fast and Furious, basically. A little bit of nostalgia for bad boys. Yeah. Just the kind of worst shit you can imagine, basically. Yeah.

I'd rather watch Gemini Man. At least that was angly directing yeah yeah yeah yeah it's weird to feel that way brother watch Gemini man yeah yeah I would yes I mean yeah sometimes it takes like a huge piece of shit to make you appreciate other things a bit more like exactly you know it really puts I'm glad I watched this film because it really puts into perspective like yeah say what you will about Michael Bay his movies aren't great they're not like high art or anything but he was at least competent at filming action scenes like he could he knew how to make it feel like action was

happening like that's the bare minimum you know you couldn't even do that in this film yeah he has like a style that you could like recognize yeah yeah normally tell when he's directing that's not me defending transformers those movies are terrible yes but like yeah this is like you know this is way too bland yeah this is much worse than those other two bad boys so many fucking weird choices yeah like when the when the women's like shooting and the camera goes like sideways. I'm like, wow, that thought it was so cool, but it didn't work. It's too quick. Yeah. Yeah. Some way it's zooms. Yeah, it's really odd. There's intent in how things are filmed,

but it's so uncoordinated. What's the word? Like, it's poorly planned out. It doesn't have like a proper purpose for it. There was one part, like when the body gets dropped on the car. And then Martin Lawrence is, I guess, like, just got to talk to God about some stuff while Will Smith is getting shot and not helping him but we get this weird shot from like the top of the building and it's the quickest crank zoom and it just cuts to martin lawrence yeah during the crank zoom and all that's happening is he says the word shit like nothing's happening in the shot but we get a crank zoom for it yeah and then the rest of the action continues i'm like what the it was so out of nowhere like why do we one crank zoom in the film and it's just that and it's martin lawrence saying shit and then the movie

just keeps going on as if that never happened like what the fuck it was so bad it didn't even it wasn't like a punchline shit either really it was just like, yeah it was just like thrown in no reason why that was there. What the hell? So bizarre. Yeah, yeah, really bad. It was really a Gemini man. I guess we could get into ratings. What else is there to say? What else is there even to say about it? It's like, it's much worse than I

thought it would be. I was expecting like maybe in the middle of the road. Yeah. But yeah, it's even worse than like that first one to me. Like it's just, it's the worst one of the three. Oh yeah. It's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, legacy sequel problem mixed with like the trilogy problem we're like the third one just like they don't give a fuck yeah yeah what do we do it's 17 years later this is just a terrible idea from concept this is like tired this is the shrek three yeah maybe if michael bay directed it it would be a bit more interesting instead of this weird like it's like 5% Michael bay it's like some of the stuff they attempt is like oh yeah maybe we should try and do let's imagine how michael would have done it

and just do that but like 5% Yeah. So embarrassing. It's crazy. It makes me want to watch the Batgirl movie because it was funny at least. It was embarrassing funny, you know? Like, I want to watch something that incompetent, you know, at a DC movie. Oh, I bet the Bat Girl movie is like atrocious after seeing this.

Like, I have no fake these guys to make anything good. Oh, it would be so funny. Yeah, at least Brendan Frazier was in it. Captain Marvel or not Captain Marvel, Miss Marvel. That was okay. I think that was them. But that was also a TV show. Okay.

So, this is like a different expectation there. it for me. Yeah. And it's free on Disney Plus. I mean, you got to pay for the subscription, but it's not like a film I had to see in theaters. Yeah. Whatever. I'm going to just point out two more things real quick. Oh yeah, go ahead. There's a line that I thought was particularly bad where Will Smith is talking to the young, annoying ensemble. And he says, raids are supposed to be fun. They're like field trips with guns. That was really bad and cringe. Like, okay. And then one other thing I'd like to point out. out is the music in this, probably the worst of the three somehow.

Lawn Balf. Not just in terms of composition, but in how it was used. There was like, there was like a fight scene where the time signature was like three, four times, like a waltz, basically. And I was like, what the, it doesn't, it didn't have energy to it. It was like clashing with the tone of the scene. And then at the end of the movie, the standard way, you know, like characters on, on the ground, it's in the rain.

he's got a bullet wound sort of thing, his son or whatever, like very cliche. And in any other movie, they would do it where it's like, okay, you have some sad string music or maybe some piano come in. You want to settle down at the end of the movie, at least, if you're going to go with the formulated route. But this movie, there's still kind of like an action rhythm happening. And then the scene just ends and there was no slowdown to the music. It was so weird.

It was like some of the most bizarre choices for like tone in the film. It's like they had it. scored for another scene and then just put it in that scene anyway. We were like, ah, we'll just take it from this scene. Like, they forgot to pay for an extra track or something,

and they just used another one. Like, I don't know what was going on, but that was particularly weird. Yeah, it felt very, like, temp musicy.

Yeah, like, to me. Because Lorne Belf, he's like one of, uh, Han Zimmer's, like,

underlings, right? Yeah. I swear I kept hearing, like, kind of, the kind of zimmer kind of compositions, like,

but just, like, just a little bit changed here and there, but, yeah, super generic stuff. Yeah, he's a Zirgling. Zerling. Zimmer, yeah.

Zimaling, yeah. The buddy cop, like, formula, it's, like, been so done. It's been done better. Yeah. Especially with other movies since Bad Boys 2. Like, I think of the nice guys were, there's probably other examples.

It's just like there's better movies that you could watch that are buddy cop films that are funnier, that have better action. They're just like trying to do what this movie does. Yeah, hot fuzz, exactly. Just like trying to do what this film does, you know, really poorly. And that's a shame because to me, bad boys one and two were like the buddy cop movies of their time. They were?

And it's just kind of done. Like, it's just, we're past that now. It's time to move on. Yeah. It's finished. Just let it die. Let it die. I would give this, if we're going to get into ratings, do you want to go first?

Me? Yeah, one of you Two out of ten It was fucking horrendous It was just genuinely awful It was funny Yeah It was very funny

But wow You didn't think I'd be missing Michael Bay But here we go Wow I miss Michael Bay Yeah Yeah I can't believe

Yeah I can't believe I'm agreeing with that sentence But I do agree I do miss Michael Bay For this At least for this franchise You know It does like jail well

With him And his identity at the very least and not having him is like sad. But it was like weirdly the funniest one to me all for like the completely wrong reasons. So I'd give it like one and a half stars. Yeah, it's not good. I'm the same as Alex.

I'd give it three out of ten, one and a half stars. Yeah. Huge drop off. It's not as bad as like Blade Trinity. Yes. It's the third movie problem in a trilogy. It's like, it's so terrible. And yeah, the legacy sequel, like, yeah, Top Gun Maverick is a better legacy sequel than this?

Of course. Like, everything. This movie's trying to capture. Yeah, just, this movie's terrible. It's fucking terrible dialogue and action. Just awful. And awful acting. Top Gun Maverick had action scenes where action was happening in the scene.

Yeah, awesome. It was awesome. It was practical. Yeah. This is practical. He gave a shit about what was happening. Yeah, someone made it because they wanted to. Yeah, right.

It's like real passion was there, right? Yeah, crazy. All right. It's the Bad Boys trilogy. The Boys. Awesome. Thanks for recommending. Sure.

To talk about Michael Bay. All right, it's time for questions. Alex, I actually have some questions for you real quick before we start with the for me. Yeah. Okay, go for it. When you, so to, To eat something, what is the past tense of that?

I ate. Okay. Because I heard that some British people say et. But they're more like, you know, like upper class kind of. I ate this morning. Yeah. I ate this morning. Et.

Yeah. Someone was talking to me about that. Yeah, that's the thing though. I've got like a weird like Americanized kind of like half Kiwi, half UK thing going on. So I'd. So loads of. English people get mad at me because of like... That's funny.

But like the weird combo thing I have going on. But I guess, to be honest, I'd say both depending on how I'm feeling in the moment, you know? That's awesome. Change it up. But that one's not like the weirdest one, though. There's definitely like weird stuff we got going on here. Oh, I'm sure. Aluminium.

Yeah. Yeah. What is that? Aluminum. Oh, oh my God. I've still put off my biscuits. The biscuit aisle I still can't wrap my head around that

Every time I go through the biscuit I'll think of you guys Yeah One more question Alex Do you do fireworks on Halloween Um Yes I feel like there's like

Any excuse to like set explosives off or something Because I thought that that was only like a BC thing Because when I moved Nowhere else in Canada does it, but I moved to Vancouver and people just like, fireworks stores will open around Halloween, and then every

Halloween, just like random fireworks will go off. It's like not a part of a festival. People will just set off fireworks because they want to do fireworks. Yeah, I guess it's because it's so close to 5th of November, so fireworks will be for sale. So people just, any chance to set them off, they'll be doing it.

That's funny. Yeah. So I I thought that Vancouver was like one of the only places and then someone on Reddit was like, oh, they also do it in England and... Ingerland, yeah. Yeah, a couple other places. So I learned something new. Thank you. You're welcome.

Alex, you got questions? Time for some questions. Okay. Let's do some questions from the Saldonacus community then. Head over to the suggestion thread on the subreddit if you want to ask questions for future episodes, just like Bonkey Schlong Junho did. A couple episodes ago, Adam said going overboard should be categorized under the genre, torture. What is your favorite and least favorite film in this genre?

Favorite and least favorite. That's like a weird. I don't know how you can have a favorite torture. Maybe just least favorite. Yeah, it's not torture if it's your favorite. I don't think we really need a favorite. I think least favorite is probably enough, to be honest. I feel like I want to recommend some of these at some point,

so I don't want to run me. I gave that title to going overboard for a reason. Like, that would be the one that comes to mind. It's not really a movie. It's not a comedy.

You know, it's legitimately you could use it as torture. So I would have to say that you've answered your own question. I would say that that Howard the Duck movie. That's like torture for me. Yeah, that's torture.

That's one of the worst I've ever seen easily. That's just one example. For me, it's like, I've just got this thing about these middling Ryan Reynolds movies, like the hitman's bodyguard, like shit like that. Which is like, what do you do? Like, why? Yeah, that seems like torture. No, it is like they are torture.

The hitman's wife's bodyguard, whatever the fuck. It's just, you know, these kinds. It's such a bad title. Oh, is that a sequel? Yeah, that was the sequel. Yeah, that's the sequel. The Hitman's body, what? Hitman's wife's bodyguard, that's it?

Holy shit. Who came up with that? The hitman's wife's boyfriend's bodyguard. Yeah, that'll be the third one. You've got to imagine Ryan Reynolds, like, saying the title, and I guess that's supposed to be the joke. Yeah, it'll be the hitman's cousins, uncles, wife's, boyfriend's bodyguard. Yeah, like, every movie, it'll just get.

like more and more stupid the title. Yeah, like shit like free guy. I guess just Ryan Reynolds, I just really have something against that guy in his movies. I feel you. Yeah. He really upset me. He does the same shtick every time, so. He's a name actor because of his abs.

You know? When we were watching like Blade Trinity, I'm like, oh, there it. That's why. That's why Ryan Reynolds is a name actor. It's because of his abs. He's a name actor because of Deadpool. Because Deadpool was such a hit. And then after that. He was a name actor before Deadpool. Well, yeah, he wasn't really a lead. Oh, no, he was a lead. He was in like Green Lantern,

but even those movies were like crap. He was in like all those romantic comedies and stuff. Yeah, I don't know. He was in different genres. He was like a child actor or something. Sure. That's how he sold himself for a while. But then eventually he like became this like Deadpool guy, right? Yeah, now everyone likes him. That's the thing. He was a real Matthew McCona Hay type. Yeah. I feel like he's much more in like the leading role now than he was. Mm-hmm. Like at the time, like a few years ago, even before Deadpool. Yeah, he was in like a romantic comedies, right? It was like the Matthew McConaughey, exactly.

But like Matthew McConaughey is like proven to be like a good actor, like dramatically outside of like doing the same, you know, like, all right, all right, all right. Like, you know, he's not just that. He's like in true detective and he's in Dallas Byers Club and he's in like good roles. Ryan Reynolds has yet to have that kind of part. I like him in Buried. Buried was okay. It's not as good as like true detective

But it was a decent like You know he should do something like that I've always like felt that like Ryan Reynolds should go back to doing like Kind of indie movies like every once in a while Like he should do like like a lot of actors do We should take on like a smaller part And like good time

You know like yeah something like that even Yeah like show you have range Yeah damn weird stuff I don't think he does have range though I think he should stay in his lane Maybe not Maybe he's tried doing it that and they're like, nah, dude, just stick to free guy and fucking whatever, stick to that.

Red notice. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of like range or lack thereof, like, another good, like, sect of torture movies are like, just movies with the rock or Kevin Harton, like, central intelligence. Those kind of comedies, you know, where they're like, they're just so down the middle, they're, like, for the broadest audience possible. So, like, they can never be too risque.

they're like just really like comatose comedies. Yeah, that kind of stuff like this is the most torturous for me. Red notice. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good example, yeah. Let's do this one from Bokes Taito. Sorry if I butchered your name. What is your opinion on the films by Stop Motion Animation Studio Laika?

And how would you rate slash rank their films? The films, Caroline, Paranorman, Box Trolls, Kuban. The Two Strings and Missing Link. Love the Show Guy's been listening since day one. Love from the Netherlands. Oh, cute. Coraline's their best movie. I agree.

Yeah. I love that movie. That's Henry Seleck. He's doing a stop motion with Jordan P.L. Actually, it's coming out this year. That's sick. Cool. I might be seeing it at Tiff.

I think with Coraline anyway, that was like the only one of their films I'd seen in theaters, like, as a, I don't think I was a kid. I think I was like a teenager tween, like, at the time. So I did have, like, the real experience of, like, it was made for me. It's made for, like, my audience, right? And I really love that movie. It was, like, beyond the animation being really great, it's, like, fucking scary. It's, like, really creepy.

Like, the shit with the button eyes and, like, the whole, like, nightmare aspect of it. Like, she goes in this world that's, like, she can't get out of it. and she's trapped by this fucking freaky woman, like with button eyes. I'm like, holy shit. This is like... Yeah, it's got the story back then. Yeah. It's an awesome story.

And it has like the funny parts, like the part where the guy's like the acrobat or whatever, it's like some kind of circus or something. Like it generally made me laugh. It made be scared. I'm like, this is like such a fucking roller coaster of like emotion. I thought that was absolutely fantastic that movie, Coraline. I love that movie. I think it's great.

Yeah. Henry Seleck's better at creating a story. that's because I love the animation in Kubo. Yeah, the whole production design is amazing. The animation's like incredible. I love stop motion. I love how smooth it is and intricate and just like, mm-mm-mm-mm. But then the story is, you know, like if you don't have, if you don't have a great story,

then I'm not going to watch it a second time. Yeah, Kube's okay. Yeah, I don't hate that movie. It's, I do think like you can make the excuse of like it's kind of like a, like a fable. So it's like kind of trying to be like cliche, I guess Or like the like the mythical Aspects of it like it's very like conventional I feel But like paranormal

I really couldn't get into that much Especially like the end of that movie would like the reveal like the character's gay And like how that doesn't really like factor into the story Spoilers kind of like thrown in It doesn't even matter It's like fucking 10 years old Yeah And also it doesn't matter

It's just like thrown in It's like it's almost like a punchline, honestly. It's like so whatever. I don't hate that movie either. I'd actually, I'd completely forgotten about that. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it is a forgettable movie.

I tried watching the first 10 minutes and I was like, this is not for me. I wasn't into it. People tried to get me to watch it. Yeah. I really wasn't a big fan of that. Like, I love their animation, but like... Again, great animation. Yeah.

Yeah. The animation's great. No, no doubt. Like, all of their movies. Kind of annoying that it's not, it's not in service of something like, great is what's sad about it. All of their movies look great. Yeah. And there's a point where like the animation got so good to where it's like indistinguishable

from CG animation to where like it kind of loses its charm. Like I really like fantastic Mr. Fox because it feels like stop motion and you see like... Like the imperfections left in. Yeah, the hair. Like you can see the hair on like the characters like kind of you can tell like fingers have been like moving the characters in between shots. Like that's a little, that's fun. True.

And like the, yeah, like Kubo, paranormal, it's so smooth. It looks like CG. It looks like 3D animation. That's what that sold me on Cuba and the two strings before I saw it. So they were almost selling it, like using it as advertisement, like, the time lapses of the animators behind the scenes with these huge, like, models that was like the size of them. And that was like really alluring to me. But they just, they've had a continuous problem with like kind of interesting story slash characters. I need at least one of these things.

Yeah. And the only one I haven't seen is box trolls, but the last one I saw was missing Link from 2019. And again, it was just so forgettable. Yeah. Just an abominable snowman type thing. I'm looking at their box office. It seems like they're just getting less and less return with every single film.

Fucking missing link had a $100 million budget and it got back 26.6 million. Pre-pandemic. Wow. It was released April 2019. That was, yeah. A hundred million dollars? Yeah. That's fucking crazy.

They got back 26 million. That's fucking, that's, ugh. Cubo didn't even seem successful. They only got 77.5 million box office. Yeah. Yeah, barely a profit. I don't know why they moved away from the like Coraline approach of like having that backbone of like a really good novel or something.

So you have to worry about the story as much. It is weird. You know? Like adapt something tested as opposed to like. Isn't fantastic Mr. Fox book too? Yeah, I think so. Roll, dull. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, sure. I would much prefer them sacrifice the animation to, like, tell a better story. Like, I think you could do both, certainly, but I prefer a better story than, like, this, like, do both. Focus on making the animation so perfect because, like, you know, Ardman's made 3D animated movies. Like, those are great. I really like Arthur Christmas. Like, I don't care if it's stop motion or not.

It's, like, tell a good story. Like, have some, like, good design. doesn't matter to me. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I don't know what they're doing or if they have anything planned coming up. Was there a corpse bride?

I haven't seen. I'd like to see it. Isn't that? I think that's their first. No, that's not. It's not them? I don't think that's it. No, that wasn't them.

I don't think of it. That was just Tim Burton. But I don't know who produced the production company. Yeah, maybe. I was looking at a list on Matterbox. It might be just wrong. Yeah, I was looking at Wiki. Mm.

It says corpse bride is contract work for WarnerBron brothers so maybe they worked like under Warner Brothers to make it but yeah it's not technically a so animation took place at three mill studios in London for corpse right whatever I haven't seen it anyway I'd like to it's fine yeah Coraline I love that movie that's fucking great that's one of the best kids animated movies ever easily for me love that movie I love nightmare before Christmas yeah it's it's like up there for me with like it's almost as good as that not quite but Yeah, it's like really good.

I really recommend Coraline, especially the kids. It fucking freaked them out. Like, it gives them nightmares. Yeah, that's what you should be using stop motion full of your scale. Yeah, it's really creepy. I'm hoping this, um, this Guillermo del Toro Pinocchio movie has got some creepy. That's what, like a stop motion Netflix project or something that's coming out this year. Oh yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

Pinocchio, true story. That's what it's called, right? No, that's the Russian one. It's a really bad one. It's onslaught Pinocchio movies that are all coming out at some reason. Father, when can I leave to be on my own? I've got the whole world to see. Is that from the bad one?

Yeah. This is so many bad like Pinocchio movies, it's hard to... Watch the, watch the Mateo Grone one, the 2019 or whatever, 2018, 2019. Oh, is it good? It's pretty good. Yeah, I like it. Oh, all right. He's talented.

He's a good director. Yeah, the new one looks great though, the Gieramo one. I'm looking forward to that. The Disney one? Yeah, the Disney Plus one is like, whoa. I watched that trailer today. What a crazy looking movie. Zemeckis delivering the craziness yet again.

Zemeckis. Somehow. Yeah. Oh, yeah, this Mateo Jerome one? Yeah. All right, I'll check that out. Oh, it's great. I've seen a lot of Pinocchio movies.

Yeah. The best one's still. the original one, the 2D from 1940. Probably. It would be nice to have like another one that's as good as that. Yeah, Jordan Peterson's favorite, right? Disney ain't going to deliver it? Yeah, probably not.

Okay. Let's do this one from Submissive Gay Alien. How do you feel about the movies of Kevin Smith? I'm especially interested in hearing Ralph's take, as Smith seems to have had a major impact on small budget independent film with clerks. Yeah. Well, you guys can say something too. I know the guy's, the guy is asking me.

What do you think of Kevin Smith? What do you think of his films? Have you seen like the ones he's like really known for? I've seen clerks. I haven't seen mall rats. Clarks is good. Clarks is a good movie. Yeah.

That's like really, that's like to me what an indie film like should be. The funny script. Small scale. It's funny. And then everything else he's made. I'm not like a fan of, honestly. Yeah. Well, I really feel like he works well in that low budget.

Especially recently. I don't, I hate Tusk. Yeah, but like, no, Clarks, it's like a good story. Yeah. I've only seen some of the recent stuff. Clerks was like relevant at the time too because it was like making references to like other movies. Like they reference Star Wars.

They reference like these movies that, you know, obviously audiences have seen. They're like treating audiences with like film knowledge, which I think is like really cool. Like they have like some like acknowledge. of that and yeah like the references before like everything was doing that too like it was more ahead of its time and it was very relatable like like how we're talking about how bad boys like they're they're like in a swimming pool like it's completely unrelatable to like most people because most people who like have a swimming pool in their backyard or whatever like the clerk's characters like you know they're working very low-wage jobs they like they fucking hate people like they people are annoying and

they like talk to their friends and like hang out and like do like shit like you know it's like more it's so much more down to earth, so much more, like, relatable. And, like, even if you aren't that kind of person, it's, like, fun to watch that and experience it. Like, oh, yeah, this is, like, this other side of, like, what films can explore. That's, like, really fun. And those movies are very funny. And, like, the way they use references, it's not just, like, reference humor.

It's, like, yeah, it's, like, relatable. It's funny. It's, it's great. Like, really great stuff. And the clerks have, like, sequels that are really well received, too. And, like, the Jay and Silent Bob. knock off. Part of the reason it was so successful is because it was also like pretty mature and like raunchy and you know the the jokes that they were telling weren't found in

your average like big blockbuster comedy sort of thing. You know like my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks and then there's like the whole like having sex with a corpse and you know like stuff like that helped helped it uh you know stand out from the crowd in that sense and people were willing to watch like a black and white for the same you know black black and white for necessity because of the cameras costing less at the time exactly if color film costs what much more money so they shot up black and white and then people like you know that doesn't it's not like a pretentious choice it's like because it actually it's budgetary like limitations they had they'd rather spend that on other things yeah like the actors everyone's first movie in the 90s fucking

Christopher Nolan's the following Darren Aronofsky's pie Yeah Black and White just out of Logistical reasons Exactly Budgetary You know yeah I even like his higher budget stuff

Like chasing Amy like that's a decent movie I haven't logged it I'm gonna have to watch that again That's what I haven't seen I know it's a big title Yeah I saw it when I was younger I really liked that one

I saw dogma a long time ago I'm not a fan of dogma Everybody loves it I don't gel well with the humor in it. I think it's fine. I haven't seen that. I don't think people talk about that one as much, which, you know, it's kind of weird on letterboxes. It's ranked like higher.

I think dogma feels kind of like a fifth element thing to me where it's like, I'm not really the target audience for that. There's like a huge fan base behind it sort of thing of, you know, very passionate and vocal people of like, oh, yeah, this is the best movie ever. But I just like, I'm not into the humor. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's very hit or miss He has he has some duds I heard I heard yoga hosers Oh yeah

Yoga Hosers is terrible I don't know It looks awful I haven't seen the whole thing I don't I watched like some of it Yeah like red state and cop out They're pretty bad

Tusk Tusk was just unbearable I hated Tusk is terrible Tusk is so much I can't believe that was a successful film Like people watched it Like that just caught me so off guard That's one of those torture

It's one of those torture movies Basically yeah Like we were talking about it yeah Yeah yeah true actually Justin Lung Yeah really It was like an enjoke meant to a movie yeah Yeah like not even fans of horror

Like like that movie Some bunch of people liked it There was this weird Time where like He was doing that And then he had one other called like Red State or something And people were like yeah he's doing like horror movies

Redston holy shit I'm like I watched them And I, I, they were not, they were not great. Red State is like the most, right, that's the one like people like that movie for some reason. Yeah. Because like the political commentary, but aside from that, it's so fucking bad. Like, I haven't even seen the whole thing. It's really not special.

I don't have it logged because I forgot I even, I've even seen parts of it. It's just fucking atrocious. Like, all right, I get the fucking message. It's like, it's so bad though. Yeah, cop out. also that was really bad talking like cop bone like buddy cop movies

that's like one of the worst ones I've ever seen it's like fucking atrocious Bruce Wallace is just like sleep walking through it I heard about like all the production troubles where they like Bruce Wallace didn't give a fuck like kept arguing with Kevin Smith like he didn't take his directions

that like really soured Kevin Smith from like working in Hollywood in the studio system which I think it's really sad but yeah like Bruce Willis like he just didn't have any respect for him because I guess he thought he was like this low budget you know guy yeah like doesn't take him seriously yeah it's it's like that's funny yeah it's sad like even if he hasn't made like great movies like at least show some fucking respect for the director like Kevin Spitt's probably a nice guy like oh yeah sure it's like yeah fuck fuck you like

Bruce says like doesn't take him seriously because he's not like fucking Terry Gilliam or whatever it's like you're you agreed to be in the movie like why not just fucking try. Yeah, he was like sleep walking through that movie. Awful. At least Tracy Morgan was trying in that fucking movie. He was bad too, but like at least he was trying. Yeah, I haven't even seen it. I don't know. The poster looks so bad. It's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, the poster, yeah. It's terrible. You know, you know exactly what you're getting with this one. Yeah. Awful. Yeah. So yeah, in my, in my perspective, Kevin Smith has one good movie. I haven't seen all of his movies. Maybe I could change my mind with that.

But yeah, I'll see chasing Amy someday, but yet, Clerks is like the only one that I have any positive memories of. The rest are either misses or just actively painful. I hear Mallrats is good. I hear dogma's good. I haven't seen dogma. I like chasing Amy. I need to see it again. I could watch Mulrots. Like the Clark's sequels are well received. Yeah. I don't like Red State. I don't like

cop out. I don't like Tusk. Tusk, Tusk is the level of bad that it makes me never want, like, I'm never going to watch Yoga Hozers because of it. Like, Tusk is so bad that I can't possibly watch Yoga Hozers. Yeah, that's the non-of-one, yoga Hoaxers. Pretty much fair. Alex, you've seen Zach and Mary make a porno? That was him?

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty... I forgot. It's pretty forgettable. It's just kind of like a simple, like, romantic comedy. Yeah. Wow. Some Star Wars references in it.

Yeah. Nothing too crazy. I remember when that came out. That was relatively successful too. Mm-hmm. I like Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks. Wow. I forgot about that movie.

I forgot that was Kevin Smith. That's crazy. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's cool chasing Amy was like a mainstream hit. You know, it's like one of those. Mm-hmm.

I think it was like a modest budget. Like, but, you know, has big actors in it and like people really liked it. I'm like, oh, that's cool. Good for him. But like, yeah, I don't. I prefer clerks. To me, clerks is like his best. Yeah, now he's just making a bunch of bullshit.

He's just, he doesn't even go shit. I don't know what he's doing. Yeah. There's a Clark's three coming out. I like his personality, but... I think he likes doing Comic-Con. I think he likes doing other stuff, like Comic-Con. Yeah, yeah, he's like a big dork.

Like, he loves podcasting and talking about, like, comic book movies. Yeah, he does, like, TV shows where he talks about, like, Superman, right? That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he could make another good movie one day. It's just like, yeah. I don't think so. Tussk is like, that's him trying to make like a horror movie.

It's like awful. Well, apparently that was like a joke movie at the same time. Like he was, it was like... It was supposed to be comedy horror. Somebody gave him the idea on his podcast or something he just made up on the spot. It was like, oh, actually make a movie about it. Like, that's what I heard. Really?

Someone gave him the idea on his podcast. Yeah. Holy shit. Maybe he said it on his podcast. I don't remember. I'm pretty sure it was like just them like ad libbing. Yeah, that's right, right? Like they were just bullshitting on a podcast.

And I'm like, oh, that'd be fun. Funny, let's actually like make that idea into a full future. And it's just like a fucking unbearable. Yeah, that wasn't a good idea. So bad. Yeah, it's like his second highest listed on like letterbox when you look him up as a director. Wow. The Tusk.

Yeah, the second most popular. Kind of like creep. Yeah. Everyone just loves creep for some reason. Oh, did he make creep? No, no, no. Just like one of those, you know, one of those weird like horror movies. I just don't get why people like.

the way they do. Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen that. I hear it's like, I hear mixed things. My brother didn't like it. I trust him. And you didn't like it either. I trust those opinions more than anyone else.

So apparently cop out is his most successful film. Really? Yeah, well, Bruce Willis. Yeah. Mr. Morgan. Probably had the most like marketing behind it. Mm-hmm. Two actors and yeah.

Zach and Mary didn't make as much as I thought it did. It was only like 30 million. They didn't even sell cop out as like a Kevin Smith movie. They just sold that as like a generic buddy cop movie. Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, yeah. All right, I think that does it for questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful.

Cool, thank you so much. That was awesome. And I think, I believe it is Alex's turn to recommend something. It is back to me And I've got an interesting one that I've had on the list for a while I want to go back To Nosferatu Which one?

The vampire movie I'm trying to find the gear There's like more than one The original, the OG 1922? Yeah Oh man Okay

Nice Okay I do know that there's like I think there's different versions there's like different soundtracks so I guess we'll discuss

I guess there's probably like a definitive original kind of one but yeah like on the UK you have to watch it on like one of the prime video sub subscriptions called film box or something it's like one of those like weird situations but

awesome yeah that's a 1922 F. W. Murnau, Nosferatu. Is this the oldest recommendation? Probably. Yeah. It might be.

It's older than fucking Wizard of Us, right? When was that? Oh yeah, by a lot, yeah. For sure. It was like the 39? Okay, yeah. That's a good 15, 17 years difference. Yeah.

So hopefully it'll be a good discussion. I think it's the oldest movie I've seen. Might be. All right, if you don't want to be spoiled for 1922, Nospharatu, watch it before the next episodes out. These episodes come out publicly every two weeks. You can listen to them early by going to sardonicast.com. Sign up for premium.

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Thank you. And, uh, Woo-Sah, Shappy Shrek. Woo-Sah. Bad boys, bad boys. What you're gonna do?

Shit just got real. Shit, shit got real and we're riding. We podcast together, we died together. What you're going to do when you come for you? Bye. Shrek.

Bye. I.