Sardonicast - Sardonicast #18: Spider-Man, Ben & Arthur

Episode Date: October 10, 2018

Website: https://sardonicast.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Sardonicast Twitter: https://twitter.com/sardonicast Reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/sardonicast Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sardonicast Discord: https://discordapp.com/invite/9vG73zS Ralph's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ralphthe... Alex's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/IHEOfficial Adam's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/YourMovi... Alex's Twitter: https://twitter.com/IHE_OFFICIAL Ralph's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ralphsepe Adam's Twitter: https://twitter.com/2gay2lift Adam's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/YMS Intro music by: https://www.youtube.com/user/anUnkind... Fan Art: https://old.reddit.com/r/Sardonicast/... https://old.reddit.com/r/Sardonicast/... https://old.reddit.com/r/Sardonicast/... Chris Chan Documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBvJa... Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 03:00 - Spider-Man (PS4) 23:30 - Ben and Arthur (SPOILERS) 1:09:12 - Q&A Alex's Film Recommendation for Next Episode is Pink Floyd – The Wall (1982).

Okay, three, two, one. Hello, internet, welcome to game theory. And that's about as loud as I'm going to be the entire episode. I'm very sick. How is it going? I'm Adam from your movie sucks. I'm Ralph from Ralph the Movie Maker. YouTube.com slash Ralph.

Yeah, right. I'm Alex from I hate everything. You know, sound very well, Adam. Yeah, it was literally fine yesterday. And then as soon as I was going to sleep, I was like, my throat feels terrible. It's like very incredibly dry. It's just like having a tough time swallowing. And yep, that's been my day so far.

Good news is I woke up early. Bad news, it was because I was sick. But I got to see the doctor for free because it's Canadian health care. So that's cool. Nice. We don't have that. Yeah. We have that.

Well, how is it in the UK anyway? Is it? Not social? The quality of the service or? I don't know. Like, you guys have like social. healthcare, right? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's all free. I think America's the odd one out here. Yeah. Like globally. Although I haven't been, you know, keeping up with it. There might have been some new things past. I have no idea. Break your arm and find out.

Oh, yeah. That's one way. So I'm drinking some, some Gatorade because I hear electrolytes are good for... What's that? Being sick. So apparently you don't have Gatorade.

in the UK? I've never, I've never I've heard of it, but I've never seen it or tasted it for myself. Okay. In any UK shops. Okay. But like you have some sort of like sports

drink equivalency though, right? We have what's called Lucasade. I guess you guys don't have Lucasade over there. Is it by Lucasfilm? No? Well, maybe. I don't know.

It could be. They got Lara Croft on the bottle sometimes. Oh. Which one? Alicia de Canada. Oh, the video game one. Oh, so like a different...

Triangle Tits. Yeah, they could have been that one, yeah. Am I missing out? Is Gatesway good or something? It is. I enjoy it. I enjoy it. I don't know.

Like, it's the same as Powerade, basically. It's just, it's like a, you know, kind of sugary, salty sports drink. There's no, like, caffeine or whatever. It's like, it hydrates you. It gives you electrolytes you electrolytes. which is like salt, I guess. And that's it. Salty bit sweet.

What do they do? Electrolites. They hydrate you. Yeah. You can retain water easier if you have more salt in your body. I think that's how it works. I'm not a doctor. Maybe that's why I'm sick.

Maybe it's because I have no idea what the fuck my body does. In other news, we all be. I beat Spider-Man. We beat up Spider-Man, yep. I beat off Spider-Man. What? Well, he's, like, at least in his 20s in that game, so it's okay to say it. Oh, okay.

Yeah, that's fine. So, Spider-Man, PS-4, we've played it. What do you think? I really loved it. Oh, I already said. Oh, good. I'm glad you did. Did you think I was going to shit on it?

No. I thought, I basically thought we were all going to enjoy, like, the base. mechanics of it all that stuff is so good that everything else around it's like okay this stuff is great though you were saying in the other episode that we mentioned Spider-Man in

because neither Alex nor I had played it but you had you were saying something along the lines of that you skip the cutscenes and that you'd yeah like don't give a shit people made a big deal about it well I well to be clearer

about it I started watching the cut scenes for the first two hours and I'm like wow I'm really not digging the story or the dialogue all that much I'm not digging j Jonah jameson's little podcast I'm not digging spider cop I'm not digging any of that and I get it's the spider-man appeal I get it but I'm like I don't want to watch this I'm not saying all stories and video games are bad which is someone interpreted it that way on the Reddit which is weird but yeah I just didn't enjoy the story in it so I'm like eh I won't bother with it really I'll just do the other stuff I like doing.

Yeah, I didn't really hate any part of the story really, except for the demons. I found that to be stupid. And the fact that they called them demons also was just really annoying. It's like all these Chinese guys that you beat up

that are, I don't really understand if they're, like, some of them are possessed, but some of them aren't, but they have magic powers. But they're like actually evil and Spider-Man's okay with hurting some of them, but not the other, like, there's civilian that get possessed also, but it's different. Yeah, it was weird.

I felt like the last chunk of the game is pretty great when all the villains come in, and I felt like that should have happened earlier because I think most of this game is just like you're fighting either the demons or, like, I don't know, other thugs. And then toward the end, it starts, everyone comes in doctored octopus, the scorpion. Yeah, I was going to say what level of spoilers?

Because some of this is pretty spoilery. I mean, the second doc, in the game, you're like, yeah, I don't know. Like, the clip that they used... What did you think was gonna happen with him? The clip that they used at the, like, I didn't know he's in the game. Or something was, wasn't it just featuring a bunch of them?

Like, they had the Electro and then... That was, yeah, but the whole Doc Ock reveal. He wasn't there. I mean, you already know Doc Docs gonna be at it at some point by, what, an hour through the game? I didn't. I had no idea he was in the game. But, like, the first 10 minutes he shows up and you're like, what do you think is going to happen with it?

Do you think it's just going to be Doc Ock the whole time? I'm just being devil's advocate, okay? That's all. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that's fair. I really like the Doc Ock. I like the whole Doc Ock storyline. I thought that was really great.

It was okay. Yeah, it was way better than Spider-Man 2's portrayal of Dock. I haven't seen that in a while. Spider-Man 2, the original Spider-Man? Not the amazing one. Wow. Yeah, not the amazing Spider-Man. See any other movie Doc Ock spin in, right?

Yeah. Spider-Man 2. Uh-huh. I don't know if I agree with you there, Alex, but it's been a while. Yeah, at some point, we're going to have to re-watch Spider-Man 2 or maybe the first one and talk about it. Yeah, I would love to do that. I have a feeling we all hold it in higher regards or in a different way because of how we felt about it when we were younger. Yeah, who knows? I'm just like, I'm hoping that it's not a lot worse when I watch it again.

But I don't know. From what I can tell, like, it's, I really love the cinematography that Sam Rame. he uses in those movies. I don't know how disappointed I could be. But anyway, about the game. What were you saying? Just about Doc Ock, I guess. Yeah, I really liked how they made that character interesting, gave him good motivations.

He wasn't just a, I'm going to Rob Banks character, you know, because every Spider-Man villain kind of falls into experiment gone wrong and then Rob's Banks. Like, as I was going through the game, I went on the wiki pages of all the villains and I was like oh what's the original comic book story behind this one and every single one is just Experiment gone wrong It's just like God damn it how high was Stan Lee when he was writing this just had no ideas

But yeah, I thought I thought that part of it was It was pretty good. I had some similar issues with the whole Demon thing Yeah, it was okay. It was okay Mr. Negative kind of looks cool I like a his design. I guess I understand why they chose him, but yeah. Playing a white guy and then beating up a bunch of Chinese people. I haven't felt that way since Resident Evil Five when we went to Africa. I liked that the city changed around you as the game went on and as you, things would happen in the story and then like streets would start to be occupied by these

soldiers and then thugs would start to take over. It was really cool. the city constantly changed according to what you were doing. Are you guys familiar with the like Arkham games, the Batman? Yeah. Yes, but I tried them and I couldn't get into them. Not my thing. Really? But I understand the comparisons and what this game borrowed from that.

I still, I love this game, but I did not, I can't really get into Arkham. Okay. Yeah, the, it's not like as solid mechanically as any of the Arkham games, in my opinion, especially like the stealth stuff the stealth stuff. It was hilarious. It was really bad. You can just run through it. And the parts where you play

as anyone who isn't Spider-Man as well those were like pitifully bad. They were pretty funny. Dreadful. They were funny for a few minutes. Yeah, they got really fucking old. And when you figure out how dumb the AI are,

you can just kind of sprint through them. Yeah, exactly. It's so, it pulls you out so much. It's so bad. something right in front of their feet. What's that? I just laughed whenever I got caught because they have like this little animation

where Mary Jo was like, oh no, no, no! And then it cuts off. It's fucking hilarious. And Miles is like, whoa! Whoa! Yeah, with the one who's like charging at him. Yeah, that was awesome. And then there were like no loading screens

on that one. They were like loading screens when you're a Spider-Man, but not when you're in the stealth part. It was just, Well, because I soloed the whole city. Yeah, that's true. I really liked the fight mechanics of the game. Yeah.

The fight mechanics and the web swinging mechanics are great. But, yeah, the stealth. I would just, like, walk up to guys, and I don't know, they were angled weird, and they'd catch me. Or I tried to, like, do a stealth attack on them, and I'd punch them by accident, and I get caught. Yeah. It's like, what the fuck was that?

No, it was bullshit. None of them have any peripheral vision. So you're, like, hanging these guys down. and webbing them everywhere. These idiot thugs are just walking around. Like right behind them. If you send to me, it is in front of them, and they can't, they'd never look up or anything. See, it kind of made sense for the mask guys, because it's like, oh, they're just, they're wearing masks and they can't see anything.

But everybody else, it didn't make as much sense. Like, why can't you look up? You said you like a combat, but you couldn't get into Arkham. Yeah. And the combat's very similar. I think it's just, like, don't give a shit about Batman. That might be it. Like, there's no web swing.

Just the Spider-Man aspect. To me, I just, I wasn't really interested or invested in the, the, what I was getting out of the Arkham games. And, like, in terms of the Spider-Man games, I don't really think that the highlight or the overall experience that I had of the game was necessarily just the, you know, stealth kind of combat, you know, pick-off guys one-by-one, infiltrate an area kind of stuff. I feel like the game was much more than that overall. I think the Arkham games have a better story though Probably really that's yeah I don't know I think that's what kept me invested in them Aside from Arkham night

I feel the opposite man Yeah you feel that well I mean this is true to Spider-Man I wouldn't want like a dark brooding Spider-Man story Because that's what those fucking Mark Webb movies are But like it's true to Spider-Man And I appreciate that I just I'm like I don't want to watch cheesy dialogue Whereas like the way they captured Batman in those Arkham games was really unique and some of the best Batman stories ever told, I think,

are in those games. It's fucking awesome. Arkham City, maybe. Arkham Asylum's got some really good moments as well, but it really falls flat on its face at the very end, where Spider-Man's kind of the opposite. Yeah, I can see that. Do you mean, like, with the Joker serum?

Yeah, there's a really, really bad ending. At the same time, you've got to fight a big boss, right? I guess. Mm-hmm. Arkham Knight did handle that better. So, apparently a lot of people said that the dialogue in this Spider-Man game is terrible. I didn't really find it to be that different than just a superhero movie in general, you know? I thought it was very true to it.

Yeah, it just felt like I was watching a superhero movie at times. Spider-Cop, really, the Spider-Cop thing. That's the only thing that made me go, yeah. But that was it though. That's like, that's like 10 conversations in the game. No, it's not. It's in the story twice. twice at the very beginning at the very end.

It's reincorporated. It felt longer. No, no, no, no. I don't know. That was a great depiction of Peter Parker. They really understood that character, and there's loads of good payoffs in the last act. It was cool that he wasn't a kid. It was different to see, like, him much older, done with photography, really, done with all that juvenile shit.

He's actually settled into the Spider-Man role quite well, and he's just kind of living life. That was awesome. That I enjoyed. It was just more the execution of it, the dialogue itself. I love the voice acting too. I don't know. Really? I like the voice acting. Yeah, that was great. You like the J. Jonah Jameson things? Yeah, he was basically Alex Jones. Yeah, that's what they were going for. Yeah, but again, he just skips through everything, didn't you? I skipped through all the dialogue because I wasn't enjoying it. That's fine. I don't want to be fucking annoyed with J. Jonah Jameson while I'm trying to explore the city. You miss some cool stuff.

with that because like if you go past one of those pop up kind of crimes and don't deal to it people like call in to Jay Jonah and they're like we just saw Spider-Man not like save these people and he's like this is why Spider-Man's a men is that's cool

that I got him yelling at about me chasing pigeons because I would go after all those other side quest things I didn't 100% it but I got all the backpacks pigeons and cat things I 100% it did oh you so you You got the naked Spider-Man suit.

That's right, I did. Yeah, undies. And I used it for two minutes. Yeah, undies. The suits were great. I love that mechanic where, first of all, there's like, how many suits were there? We were like 20, 25, right? Something like that.

And then each suit has its own power. So you'd constantly, like, you'd mix them up. It was awesome. Yeah, it was a good idea. I spent most of the game in the punk spidey suit because I thought it was funny. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I first noticed that they actually appear in the cutscenes at the most perfect opportunity for it.

It was when he was making food for MJ and he like fucks up the food and then, you know, cuts to her and then cut back and he's suddenly in a suit just going out the window. And it was the punk spidey suit and I lost my shit. It was really funny to me. And then near the end of the game, I was playing it as the like that weird alternate universe. like it kind of looks like Killface from Frisky Dingo mixed with the ghost rider like skull flaming skull Yeah and I played the game

A decent amount of the near the end of the game is that And it was so weird in cutscenes and everything It's like what's happening? You're not going to acknowledge this? Oh yeah and then classic cartoon Spidey suit That was awesome that cell shaded one that looked awesome Yeah, that was cool So this game broke a bunch of records for sales, didn't it? Oh, really?

I didn't know that. I seem so. Yeah. And it deserves it. It's awesome. It's like the fastest selling PS4 game or something. Oh. Well, both of time.

Yeah, I think so. Let's check it out. I'm going to look this up right now. Red Dead will beat it. Yeah. Red Dead too. Yeah, but it's not PS4 exclusive. So, true.

Yeah, true. Let's see. Now we're going to get like a million Marvel games then I guess Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 3 If they're all good I don't give a shit As long as they're good

You know Yeah, I want to see more of these games I want a Marvel tournament fighter Like DC has With the Injustice guys Oh yeah yeah That's a pretty good game There's Marvel v Capcom though right

That's Fuck that Capcom Yeah I don't give a shit They have this really old one I'm trying to remember the name It was like a really awesome Marvel fighter had Wolverine and Spider-Man in it and the thing I got to look this up anyway said what you're gonna say Adam it's sold 3.3 million copies in the

first three days of release so it beat God of War as the I think fastest selling PS4 title I don't know what I I'm not reading through all these articles to find out exactly what the record is but that's a lot of games it's a lot of damage well there you I find it annoying the way games are able to hide their kind of sales, unless they do really, really well. That's the only time you ever find out how much your games really sold. Whereas like with a movie, you usually find out how much money it makes in some way or another. Yeah.

With video games, they just hide it. Hmm. There's a bunch of movies that I don't know there. They do lie about that stuff. We're not lie. They lie about the budgets. That's what they do. All the Hollywood budgets you see in like online.

or whatever. The studio just gives those out most of the time. So they're usually, like, inaccurate. Yeah. I wonder what kind of motivation they would have for making it inaccurate, though. Sometimes you want to, like, inflate how much you spent on a movie to make it seem like it's a, like, your blockbuster for the year.

So you say you spent 200 million on it when you really spent, like, 150. I don't know. They do shit like that sometimes. That'd be hilarious. I mean, there's really no, there's no reason to love. lie, but it does happen. Could you imagine looking up the budget for Slender Man and seeing $200 million? Because that would be really funny.

They'd be like, holy shit. Yeah, I'm guessing they have to keep it like somewhat reasonable. You can't go too far with it. Apparently it was 10 million, which seems still too high. Yeah, that's, that seems high. Honestly, they probably lied about it. It's probably closer to $5 million or something. I, um, marketing.

I don't know. I also really liked the music in the amazing. Sorry, not the amazing. Sorry, the Marvel Spider-Man game. I think it worked really well. I can't tell if any of it was kind of related musically to the Homecoming score. I don't remember. No, I'm pretty sure it's entirely original.

Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah. I think so. Yeah, it's entirely original. Yeah, it was really good Spider-Man theme. Yeah, it was. And Doc Hawk had a theme.

It was really good. Yeah. again aside from like those cutscenes with the dialogue i i thought everything about it worked except this crazy man so um ralph tell me this if you've if you've a hundred percent of the game does it give you an option to do like new game plus or whatever like can you go through the campaign again with underwear in all the cutscenes i don't know i'm pretty sure they have done that yeah yeah i i didn't check i just

hundred percent it and i haven't i haven't played it in like a few days I would love to watch those cutscenes with that. I think it would be hilarious. Oh, yeah, I totally love that too. I'll look up some YouTube videos or something, and I just don't feel like I have the time to 100% it. Do you have to get, like, the highest score on all the challenges to get 100%?

No, you have to complete all of them. Oh. And, like, some of them, like, if you want to fight the boss, it requires you to get, like, a certain amount of points, you know? So you got to do, like, really well on at least two of them. Otherwise, the guy won't come out to fight or whatever. This stuff like that. Anyway, I found that game I was talking about called, it's called Marvel Nemesis, Rise of the Imperfects.

Have you guys ever heard of this? Never. This is like the game I played as a child. It was for PS2 and Xbox and oh, the Nintendo DS. Wow, I didn't even know that. But it's got Wolverine and Spider-Man and Daredevil, and it's got like all these other guys, these original people. And they all, it's a fighting game. And it's fucking amazing.

You get to have like Electra fight I don't know the thing It's great I'm not really Huge into fighting games honestly I just wind up but in matching On the characters You don't like moral combat? No

I can't The only one that I Even for the fatalities No yeah I can't It's not something that I'm into Because I don't know Like it's it's something that I guess If I practiced a lot at it

And got really good at it than I might have fun doing, but otherwise it's just like, I don't want to memorize all of these movesets, and like, it's just, the gameplay isn't that entertaining to me. I would rather play something like Super Smash, you know,

that's a fun fighting game for me. I'm not really interested in, like, those, like, Mortal Kombat, killer instinct kind of games. The only one of those that I played when I was younger and I beat the game was, Dead or Alive 3. And those had some really funny cutscenes.

It was all weirdly sexualized. It was so bizarre. I don't know why my parents let me buy that game. How about you, Alex? Any experience with these fighting games? Just smash bros. I see the only one I really dabble with. My brother played a lot of injustice

and he likes Mortal Kombat and stuff. I just smash bros also. Ah, I was angry. You did that? Clever. Clever. Pizenga. Yeah, smash is great.

I'm excited for the new one. There's a new one? Yeah. Oh, yeah, Donkey had his trailer analysis. Jimmy Neutron's supposed to be in it, right? I don't fucking know. Everyone's in it now. Yeah.

They've got, they should put Bouset in it, even though it doesn't exist. It's just a fan art thing. Does Chris Chan come up with it? Oh, no, that's the Sonia. Yeah, same thing Guys, you're all jerking off to Sonichu Think about it

Have you ever seen that documentary The Chris Chan documentary that's on YouTube? I'm aware of it, but how long is it again? I think the reason I haven't started it is because it's like 20 parts Yeah, it's still going. It's going to be like 20 parts and each one's like an hour and a half long The most documented human being on the planet Yeah, it's honestly, it's a really interesting documentary honestly

I'll add that to my list does it have an IMDB page I don't know it should it should have really high ratings it should win an Emmy our shows have whatever these things yeah

did we want to did we have anything else we wanted to talk about or we want to go straight into the fucking masterpiece here oh man I don't know I mean we could talk about this movie

for a while so yeah yeah There's a lot to mention about this. What was the movie that you, Ralph, picked? Yeah, introduce it. Let me introduce it. We're going to spoil it.

You don't want to be spoiled. It was 2002, right? Ben and Arthur 2002. Okay. So Ben and Arthur is a, God, what is it about? There's a gay couple, Ben and Arthur, right? And was it Ben had a brother? He's like a hardcore Christian.

Arthur. Arthur is the not model. Arthur is a brother who's a hardcore Christian and doesn't want him to be gay. And so they go to Hawaii or they're going to go to Hawaii to get married. Okay. I'm not going to interject. I'll let you continue. There's so much to digest about this. Like, I don't know where the beginning is. Like, I think that's the beginning. The beginning is.

And then his brother is also like a mass murderer or like a hired killer. You, like, assassinate someone in a car. Well, I mean, he's... Everyone's just a murderer. Yeah. Well, everyone has a gun, first of all. Everyone just has guns on them all the time. People will show up at your house to shoot you,

but then inadvertently give you a gun. Yeah. You'll just wrestle it away from there. From there, I guess that's the plot. Or that's the premise. I think you're a row of you. It's this gay couple. versus this hardcore Christian

who goes to church in this paper mache with you just sounded like a maniac if someone hadn't heard of the film or seen that it would have sounded like you were having some kind of fever dream because that perfectly describes the film yeah yeah

okay let's just start with the opening credits right where like any amateur filmmaker who just gets Windows movie maker credits themselves 25,000 times. The entertainer.

And their own name a million times Hideoogesima style. Yes. Directed by, written by starring. Sam Mrowovich. Is that how you say, isn't it?

That's how we were saying. She's the lead actor, right? He plays Arthur. Yes. This is like, I always found it's so strange. You know how there's directors that have their passion projects. and they throw themselves into something

where it's like, I'm going to write myself to make out with this hot chick like Tommy Weizzo in the room sort of thing. He's like, I want to be with this girl. This is basically what happened with Ben and Arthur except this time it's gay, you know? He's like, I'm going to be dating this model sort of thing. It's weird.

It's just the gay room. Yeah, the guy looks like he does tech support, you know? He looks like a furry. He also has a nether. nude scene in this, which was a... Oh, yeah. Just like the room. There are loads of weird comparisons.

I want to mention... There's a naked baptism in the tub. Oh, yeah. Like, I didn't watch this whole movie before I recommended it, because I wasn't entirely sure if it was going to be from a porno. Yeah, I've only seen parts of it before. Like, I wasn't sure if it was a porno or not. Okay, and I didn't want to be, like a porno.

Yeah, at first, it definitely felt like a porno. Especially I checked the director's other work, and one of them, like, seems like a porno. So I don't know if this was a porno or what. But it's certainly on the quality level of a porno. Yeah, it seemed like it might turn into a porno still at the end. Where he tried to fuck his brother. Yeah, that was a little odd.

That was so weird. There's a lot of odd things about it. I need to ask, guys, what level of intoxication were you on when watching this, if any? I'm curious. I watched it once drunk and once sober, so. Okay. So I've seen it twice, by the way. You were sober as well.

Yeah, I watched it sober. I wanted to get the full experience. Okay, yeah, I watched it sober as well. I was kind of banking one of you guys to... Well, yeah, because when I decided I was going to watch it, I was like, okay, I've got to, you know, expose my friends to this too. And then it just turned into, like, I don't know, what, six or seven people over and turned into a bit of a have fun drink

and make fun of the movie sort of thing and then by the end of it I was like I didn't take any notes that was great but I need to watch this again sober so I did yeah it was fun and I feel like I understand the movie a lot better after having seen it twice

so I feel like I get the whole thing I understand it just fine it's just complete nonsense yeah yeah basically but you want to figure out like the logic in his head where like someone's spend so much time making a movie and you gotta wonder like why did you make this and what were

you trying to do and how did you not like realize while making it that just none of it makes any sense that first scene he meets his brother he's like hi it's me who my you're my brother oh i haven't seen him in seven years it's like seven years you don't recognize your brothers you saw him seven years ago what the fuck is that yeah and also like he's talking you should recognize your brother. You should connect the face and the voice, even if they've gained weight or something. Does the actor not go like,

this doesn't make sense. I have a brother and I, you know, I would remember his face after seven years. They don't even think about that. And let's not forget that despite being not even in contact for seven years, all of the sudden he gets very obsessive over the sexuality of his brother.

And he gets kicked out of the church for having a gay brother. The church doesn't want him anymore because his brother's gay, even though his brother doesn't even go to the church. It makes no sense. This cardboard church. The cardboard church with the Jesus painting. What is it, fucking crayon, it looks like?

It's got a great desk. This fucking, like, picnic table desk and, like, shitty lawn chairs. Do you guys think there was any of this that was tongue and cheek whatsoever? No. None. Absolutely none I don't think so So you think

He wrote this as an actual Like drama As if it was a poignant I think so Drama I think he did I think he wanted But how

How There was like that That moment at the beginning Where gay marriage Wasn't legalized in Hawaii Right That's what I was And then it wasn't

It was and then it wasn't Yeah they read the thing in the paper They're like Hooray And then the radio was like Oh sorry It's a lie Or it was the other way around

I don't remember It was something like that, yeah, but that confused me too, but whatever. And fuck, I forgot what I was talking about. That's what this movie does to. But like, what? It's not any sense. How can you write? This is a comedy.

It's great. On paper, even. Even on paper, you know, it's not like the room where he thought, yeah, this is like a serious drama thing. But elements of like, yeah, I want to go back. I want to go to university or whatever so I can for business so I can open a porno shop or whatever

like what? Why is that a necessary detail? How is that not in terms of a comedic effect? Well yeah I think he was trying to like over-exaggerate well not trying to over-exaggerate but unintentionally exaggerating the attributes of both sides of the argument so it's like okay so the gay characters are really gay like he's gonna open up a porno shop he has a dildo tells his brother to fuck him in the ass as like a comeback, you know?

And the Christian guy is going to be like super Christian. Like he lives for the church. He literally one of the lines is like, I donated like $8,000 to you guys when they're kicking him out anyway. They're like, sorry, your brother's gay. Like, everybody is the most exaggerated

version of what this film, I guess, is trying to tackle as an issue. And it just, it does not work. It is not realistic in the slightest. You don't think it's realistic? Parts of it, maybe. It was a really realistic

shooting scene. Yeah, I was going to say. That was my favorite scene. Oh, that's the best scene. It has like EDM playing on top of it. Yeah, and like before you even know that he's going to do anything, like you're like, what is he doing? Like this music is implying that he's doing something. He sneaks into the garage. And we get this techno music over the world's slowest reverse park job. And it was just, it was so glorious.

And then he just comes out of nowhere, pulls out a gun and just kills her and leaves. It was the best scene of any movie. I wonder if that scene's on YouTube. Somebody should clip that. Apparently the whole film's on YouTube. I didn't know that. I paid money for it. I think it just got uploaded for us.

That's funny. Yeah. But there's that scene where, Adam, you remind me, you're the expert in this film now. There's like a private investigator that gets hired, right? Who is it that hires the private investigator? Is it the main guy or the brother? It's the brother, right? Well, yeah, it's the brother that hire.

The brother hires the private investigator. There's a scene where he's, like, looking through the phone books and, like, very intently using his finger to point at the word private investigator. And there's a computer right next to him, too. When the PI arrives, though, he says, oh, sorry, I'm not like an actual private investigator. I'm the intern for a private investigator. Like, what? Why? Is that just because the guy looks so young?

Is that it? Maybe that. I think it was also to try and explain why his morals are so loose. Because the guy clearly just says, like, I don't like that my brother's gay. You want to spy on me? He's like, oh, I guess I got to. maybe this is what the job is like, or I don't know,

you know, or maybe it's to try and explain why he didn't, like, report the guy for killing this girl. Like, he had to have found out about that. Yeah.

You know? It's like this person of interest that he was spying on all of a sudden gets murdered right after you give the guy the information of her whereabouts. Okay.

Like, there was probably nothing. It's probably coincidence. It seems like, this whole film seems like a parody written by aliens who were trying to make fun of humans.

Yeah. It's glorious. It's completely absurd. What about Ben's girlfriend character and they have like a little tussle after she holds him at gunpoint for some reason? And she's like, I want

you to get back together with me and he's like no. And then they roll around the floor. That scene is fucking hilarious. It's probably like the second best scene. Yeah, yeah. I remember during that scene there was some wicked

cinematography is like handheld like back and forth from their faces and like around. Oh yeah it was like doing a 360 around him. Yeah as much movement as you can get in that apartment room. Why why were they boiling holy water and calling it a potion? I think this guy like you know what religion is? Yeah I think I think he's got a really warped perception of of Christians like I don't know why why they had, he's like, it's my secret recipe for holy water. It's like, all you need is just regular water blessed by

somebody, you know? Like, that's what holy water is. You don't need to make it, you don't need to mix ingredients. Like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, just go to the cardboard church with the priest. And then his, like, it's like a clay cross on him, right? Wasn't his cross like some fucking

ridiculous fake thing that no priest would ever wear? The top of the cross was like a triangle for some reason. Yeah. How can you fuck up across? The least convincing priest I think I've ever seen in a film. I love how the brother's master plan

was to put the holy water in a tiny little like shampoo bottle or spray bottle or something and then just tape it to his door. Yeah. And that's it. As though like he would look he would open his door and be like,

oh, what's this? And like pour it on himself? Like what? And then immediately the guy, Arthur grabs the bottle and he's like, oh, this is just some stupid holy water potion. My brother tried to give me. He's like, you didn't write anything on it.

How did you get all that information? He literally just like, I guess he's just expecting it at that point. This is the next logical progression here. He's always just taping holy water to his door. It's not the first time. Adam, you mentioned at the end of the movie where there's the conference. confrontation with the brothers.

And Arthur is like, yeah, you want to fuck me, bro, don't you? Can you explain that to me? Where did that come from? Why did that happen? What? Why? I think that the intent of the film was to imply that the brother had repressed

homosexual thoughts. And they didn't very clearly communicate it. And I don't know. Maybe the guy was just still high off of those drugs that he forced into him. Maybe it was the- She really Ben should be the one doing that, though, because then it wouldn't be, like, incest. Well, I don't. Yeah, I don't, like, I mean, it's, I don't know what his intention was.

I don't know if he actually was going to. Wasn't Ben killed by then? Yeah, Ben died. We got to go down the order of murder. Because I'm trying to work out my brain. Yeah. There's the woman first in the parking lot, right? Doesn't Arthur murder someone first?

Yeah, Arthur kills the priest. I don't know if that was before Ben or after Ben. Yeah, he kills the priest and then burns the church town. Well, we don't really know. He could have not done it because there was no, like, there was no fire. It was just he lit a match and then tossed it on the ground where this knocked out priest was. we don't know. He was applying there was a fire.

It looks like the match was not lit by the time it hit the ground, though. You'd think he would just light the matchbook. If he actually lit it. Yeah. You probably used real gasoline. And he's like, I can't actually use a match. Did you like when they just jammed a cigarette

into the barrel of the gun after they shot it? I don't even remember that. The gun was smoking, and it was like, clearly they just jammed a cigarette. There was like there was like ash falling out. I mean you can see like ash falling from the From the barrel of the gun. It's kind of funny. That's clever

That's clever. Good job guys We did it. That's some real With do-it-yourself filmmaking. Congrats. What was the budget on this? I don't know Because like you were trying to explain this movie to me sometime and I think you told me like That it was surprisingly high or something like you said that they were was a theory that the director like stole the money or something that's that's after last season oh that's another one okay yeah that's another one oh you should recommend that one that one had a five million dollar budget yeah that one looks even worse than this if you can imagine that

shit but and that one shot on film this was like some dumb camcorder yeah the budget on this was 40,000 though and 40,000 that's fucking ridiculous honestly I don't know what because it's not like he had a crew or anything he hired some actors And there's one set in the whole film. Yeah. And it looks so fucking bad. That's what all the money went to. The paper machet window.

So many different people were in this film, though, and not one person once questioned it, right? Like, someone edited this. Someone watched this. And they never said a word. They just thought it was okay. They're getting paid, right? So it's like, I don't know.

Are they? Are I going to tell this enough job what to do? He had a budget, so I'm guessing he got actors. Maybe one of them was his friend, but... I have to assume that a lot of people in the film were doing it because of the message. He was like, okay, I'm going to make a film that tackles the issue of, you know, hate against gays and how religion tries to drive people apart, et cetera, et cetera. And you can tell somebody that they don't know what the fuck the quality is going to be like,

and they'll probably agree to it. Did you notice how, like, every... character in the film looked like they were a raging homosexual. Did you notice how the private investigator looks super gay too? Like the brother definitely. And the brother makes gay. Yeah, everybody's super gay in this movie. It's really funny.

So I think that might be why. It was just like a sympathy kind of like, oh, okay, you're tackling an issue like how Vibike Fox was in Cool Cat, you know? It's like, oh, anti-bullying? Sure. You only need me for like two minutes? Okay. It's what makes the film work is the fact that Sam, what was it, Meow?

Raovich. Yeah. He's kind of the only one taking it extremely seriously. So everything he says is absolutely gold. And every other actor, you catch glimpsing the camera now and again. Oh, man. Sheepers, like, they know what's going on. They don't say anything.

There were points in the film where it was clear that literally the only people there were just the actors. So like Ben and Arthur were arguing with each other over the bike that was missing. And then you very clearly hear that as I think it was Ben was arguing with him, you could hear him as though he were the cameraman. Like you could hear his mouth right next to the microphone of this, the built-in microphone of this camera. and it was so bizarre. So it's like the cameraman on set is just whoever isn't in the shot. Yeah. Really.

That argument. That argument was brilliant. Ben gets angry at Arthur for not locking up his bike. But then somehow it ends with Ben apologizing to Arthur for getting angry, even though it's completely Arthur's fault for just not locking the bike up. And he gets in like a strap. And then domestic abuse. Yeah.

What the fuck? This is why no one wants you to get married because you're violent. I just don't understand how you can think anyone acts like any of these people. They're like so ridiculous. It's a metaphor. Maybe you're just, it's not smart enough

or you're not smart enough together. Probably. So you both watched it through that Vimeo purchase, right? Yeah, I didn't. I couldn't get it anymore. Did you get the DVD? No, I watched it on Vimeo.

Okay, you said you did. I thought you said you didn't. Yeah. Well, I've got a special little tidbit of information. So the DVD that I got, there's no special features, but the DVD menu is basically just, you know, like any other DVD menu, just clips from the film in the background. It's like, okay, this is interesting. They're playing that shitty song from the beginning, The Entertainer.

But if you leave the DVD for like, I don't know, a minute and a half, maybe two minutes on the menu, it spoils the whole fucking movie. They literally show like the shootout at the end. Like, yeah, they literally show like 30 seconds worth of like the shootout at the end. At the same time that they're playing the song, The Entertainer, that shitty. That shitty. Like, what the fuck? It was so bizarre.

I'm like, why would we even watch the movie? Like, you just gave away the whole movie. You just showed all of it. You got to get people excited in the main movie. Why would you do that? It's so bizarre. How did you even get it on DVD? Where did you find it?

Amazon. Okay, yeah. It was a ridiculous price in the UK to get on DVD, so. I had to order it from the States, Amazon. It was on Prime there, but not in Canada. But, yeah, shortly after our podcast episode aired, then all of them. were gone. So I got mine quick.

And it showed up surprisingly fast. Huh. Otherwise, it would have just gotten the Vimeo link while I was waiting for it to show up here anyway. I think my favorite character was the mattress leaning against the wall. The best written character in the film. I feel like that was there because this apartment would usually have someone sleeping on the floor. but then they just moved it to film. Oh, no.

Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah. That's my theory. No, I think it was part of the Misan scene. I think they put it in there. They were like, now this room has a whole backstory. This mattress has a whole backstory. And you have to figure it out.

This is good filmmaking. Really. Did you like when Ben shows up for the first time at the beginning of the movie and they play that like chime sound effect? That's so weird. Do you remember that, Ralph? No, literally, it's like at the beginning of the movie. I mean, there's a lot of things to remember.

I love how they filmed the whole thing in L.A., but then they were pretending like it was other places. Like, we're in Hawaii now, and it was just them at a pool. Like, was there even a pool? There was a pool at one point. Oh, okay. They looked like they were just sat in their back garden or something. I love the ending, too.

the ending is great. Do you want to describe it? Yeah, remind me. The last minute. Oh, so Arthur's brother shows up to their apartment and he brings this random guy that he paid to beat Benup

earlier. He also has a different gun. Yeah. Because earlier he had like a Beretta. And then that, it would look like a rubber like ray gun or something. You get at like a Halloween store. Yeah.

Yeah. And Arthur also had the same gun. Both of them make it all the way up to the apartment, and they're like right outside his door before Arthur's brother changes his mind and says, like, no, just go wait in the car. If I'm not back in half an hour, then leave. And as he's saying this, it's obvious that that actor isn't even there. Like, he's just talking to no one in the hallway.

There's a lot of that in this movie. So he rings the doorbell, which is mysteriously placed in the center of the door. and then Ben answers the door and then just gets shot immediately. And then Arthur dries off from the shower and just, you know, kind of casually strolls in because it's a very quiet gun. So it has quiet sounds, this gun. And I guess Ben is, or sorry, Ben's dead and Arthur's just standing there. And then, sorry, Arthur's brother is just standing there. Arthur decides to cradle Ben and starts crying and everything trips out for no reason

They drag the frames and it's like they're high but they're not just one of them is dying And then that was a good effect and then Arthur's brother is like Yo, I'm gonna make you fall asleep now and chloroforms him only to then wake him up and then point a gut in him and say You need to accept Jesus into your heart as As though he needed to make him pass out to do that. Yeah. And then he gives him a naked baptism in the tub and then makes him pass out again. Chloroforms him for a second time.

Then I guess he gets bored and goes on the computer. And Arthur wakes up and Arthur has his own gun at that point. Yeah, he has the gun. Yeah. He has the same gun that his brother had for some. And then Arthur tries to fuck him. He's like, yo, you want to for him? fuck your brother and then they shoot each other and we get the movie literally ends right

i felt like that uh what you say song should have been playing hide and seek by image and heap that would have been appropriate for that that was a great movie yeah it's so weird how the movie just ends immediately yeah like right after that immediately after the climax it fucking builds up they both get shot and then the movie fucking ends It was a pretty great ending It's awesome We were like, that's it Yeah

I was happy man I was fucking glad it was over I mean I wasn't expecting it So I guess that's a good thing It's a very unexpected movie Say whatever you want There's a lot of twists and turns in this It goes a lot of directions

I was not expecting The same twist and turn Over and over It's so fucking repetitive It's like the same thing Over and over It's like random character For some reason has a gun

and then they go and threaten someone, and then someone gets murdered, and then either something to do with being gay or loving Jesus comes up, and it just repeats until then the end flashes on the screen. Well, the moral of the story is, don't tell your church you have a gay brother, or they'll kick you out, so.

They'll try and murder you, yeah. They'll get you assassinated. I don't even think of 2002. Yeah, not even 2002 they did that. Well, I mean, It's fucking ridiculous. You can't kick... I mean, even if you hate gay people,

to kick someone out of your church because somebody has a gay brother, even though the person you kicked out is actively trying to stop this. Like, the person you kicked out didn't even talk to them in seven years, you know? They don't really have that much of a relationship. Why are you kicking this person out of your church

who donated $8,000 to you? There's just no conflict in the movie. What does he do? The brother. I don't know, but the brother's just like, I want you to be Christian and stop being gay. And the brother's just like, no, consistently. And that's it. Like, there's no, like, no one changes or ghost or anything.

It's just the same fucking thing, them arguing about that same thing. And then they just shoot each other because they can't work it out. And then the movie ends. That's a good summary, actually. It's pretty accurate. It is. I, um, I love how many animals the brother had. Like, he had like...

a cat for every angle he clearly just wanted to show off his cats yeah I think it's supposed to be like an evil genius thing maybe I like I like when they went to I think it was Vermont to get married and they had this weird line where he's like I forgot the rings can we do without and the priest is like yes see we can do it without the rings

and I think that line was just in there just so that they didn't need a prop for a I think that's the only reason because that doesn't come into play in any way whatsoever. It was just and there was no close-up. I mean they could have just pretended to put rings on it was from so the shot was from so far away Like just don't film a close-up of their hands That's hard though you know? It takes time How about oh my god? There's that scene it's toward the end when Arthur's brother and this other guy go to like his apartment And then in the middle of the hallway. There's just a shot of Arthur's brother going like hey man I don't need you here anymore why

you go outside. Yeah, that's what I was mentioning. You never see a reverse angle. It's a clue they just couldn't get that actor on that day. So they came up with some bullshit. Yeah, that was right before the end of the movie. Yeah. I like, uh, I don't know if you guys noticed when they were filming shots of the planes

going to and from Vermont, theoretically. The one going back was a FedEx plane. So, like, I guess. Yeah, he just shipped himself there. Yeah, they, no, they stowed away. on the FedEx plane. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

That's the canon for the film is there they hitched a ride. You can't just wait for another plane, like a real plane to come by from that? They could have just reversed the shot of the first plane. It was landing backwards. Stock footage for 50 bucks of a plane landing. You can go online right now. You can probably get it for free if you really wanted to. And he's like, nah, FedEx plane.

that's why I think it's purposeful did you guys like the sex scene where there was like covers between them and they were just both facing each other and rubbing each other missionary like they were just really high on Molly or something and they weren't actually fucking

they were just cuddling just rubbing and then the one guy turns into a bouquet of flowers oh yeah I don't remember either there's so much so much information to retain

It is better the second time. I'm not even kidding. I bet it is. I need to watch it intoxicated. Yeah, I feel like it's the best way to enjoy this. You can enjoy it more when I was sober? It's just such a good movie. You appreciate a lot about it.

And the more you understand the story. The social messages. Like, I never knew that I could use a paper clip as a lock pick until I watched the movie. Makes no sense. You just turn it in the keyhole like it's a key. And that's it. Yeah, you'd think if it was that easy, they'd find another way, you know, aside from walks, because clearly they're not that efficient.

If you could just take a fucking paperclip. Did you, um, did you guys, there was this really weird line. Um, I think near the end of the movie where, where Arthur's brother is like, yeah, I'm gonna kill him just like I did your little faggot friend when you were little and so it's like he's been he's been like killing his friends his whole life like as they were growing up he like shot one of his friends and just told him now and Arthur seems to have no emotional response to this he'd like immediately Arthur is just with a comeback he's like yeah well we love each other like it didn't even register with him like oh that's how my friend died and I never found out about

until now. Like, you shot my friend when we were little. It's like, how much of an age gap is there? Were they both children? He, like, shot his friend. Now bragging about it?

It's so weird. I was just trying to figure it out the whole time why it was being made. If it was, like, a porno at first and then they just didn't shoot the sex scenes or... That would be funny. If, like, the ending... I think they had something else planned for that.

ending, honestly. And then, like, they lost that actor, that extra guy who they have to, you know, say, left the building for some reason. I wonder if there was something with him. And they had to just rewrite the whole scene that day because they couldn't get him. I don't know what happened. It's a fucking disaster. And it's awesome. You used the term rewrite. Do you think they actually wrote anything? I bet he wrote something on a napkin. Well, I don't know. I mean, you need to know what scenes you got to shoot. I probably wrote that down. It has no structure. Their lawyer friend was clearly reading off the script.

She's like, I've got this legal document here. And it's not the script. He probably had some, like, out-of-sequence scenes written down that he wanted to film, and then he shot them. And that was it. That might be... I mean, I just don't know. I just try to figure out the thought process of shit like this, and it's almost impossible. Did you notice how it was quite sort of anti-women for a bit?

Yeah. All the women characters are like, you get referring to them as like fucking bitches and... Yeah. It was like, don't date women because they're all pieces of shit. You should date men. All men should just date men. It was like, that's what I was trying to say. You tried to divorce her and she comes back with a gun.

Yeah, and then they roll around on the floor. Women, am I right? A minute. What about when he's working in that like, cafe diner thing. Oh yeah. That's that woman. That's a good scene. Where they were pouring coffee into like soda cups.

Because they couldn't find a mug. More sugar. What did not coffee melt the plastic? It didn't make any sense. Like they were clearly just pouring water or nothing. This crazy lady just demands more sugar like, I need more sugar. And then he goes to the back room.

They both work at the same job. Apparently, Apparently Ben's job is just spraying the sink repeatedly. So Arthur goes back to Ben and asks his permission if it's okay to quit, even though he's not his boss. He's just like, hey, will he be fine today? Can I quit? He's like, yeah. And then he immediately goes back outside.

She's like, where's the sugar? I thought you were going to get the sugar. And he just laughs and goes, ha, ha, ha. And leaves out into like the 2 a.m. night outside the restaurant. What a great scene When that woman comes to their apartment Oh yeah Like reused actor

Yeah Reused actor It's like a different character Yeah maybe she was gonna say Maybe she played a different character They couldn't afford Someone else I think so

I think they're all just friends I don't know where the $40,000 went to be honest Maybe it was just like Maybe he just made that up Maybe it was like eight bucks He had like some camcorder from the 90s and he's like, ah, let's make a movie.

Oh, my God. I'm just remembering when he was wearing socks and sandals and doing a dainty little run. Like, when he's like, I think it might have been after he theoretically burned the church down. He's just like running away with like his limp wrists, just doing a little skip. He wears those socks and sandals in multiple scenes. It's so funny. Is that just his outfit?

Is that what he wears? I think he doesn't see anything. wrong with it. That's just the character now. It's good costume design. It's good production design. Really, yeah, it elaborates on the character. That's not the right word. My favorite scene in the movie is when the brother

has like a moat down in his bedroom and starts punching his bed. There was a Pokemon poster in the background. The freak out scene. It was on his door. Oh yeah. It seemed like you didn't even know why he was angry. Yeah.

It was brilliant. Because you probably didn't. Yeah. The guy, the director's just like, be mad. Okay, I'll hit the bed for a bit. Did you guys like the audition scene? Oh yeah. That was a great scene.

Remind me, I can't remember. When he's looking for jobs. Yeah, and he starts doing a dance in front of this interviewer. Oh, yeah. Good, that was awesome. There was no music. No, he was just posing. And he's like, very nice, can I see your penis?

And I was like, oh. Now I don't want this job. Okay. Oh my fucking God. I want to live in this guy's world. Yeah. I don't know what he thinks of himself as. Because like, if he's doing that, I don't know how seriously he was playing off that scene.

But like, does he think that he could be like a stripper? He clearly put like those butt shots of himself into the moment. movie as he's like laying on the bed after he got chloroformed like that's supposed to be a butt shot yeah he clearly thinks he's more attractive than he actually is yeah which is okay it's just you know it's clear he has an ego and he's trying to gloat like oh look how many guys I hook up with look at my hot fucking boyfriend yeah I'm dating a model it's like oh my god dude, come on. You're doing everything.

Looking guy I've ever seen. Yeah. Like balding glasses. Yeah. Come on. Slightly pudgy. Awful dress sense. Now we're just bullying.

Oh, come on. I mean, I guess, but it's like, you gotta, if you're gonna put your, I just don't buy that character. Let's, let's break it down to poor casting. Let's just say that. I don't, I don't buy him as that character. But he wanted to cast himself as the good. guy and also the guy that's dating a model he's the first person to

murder someone in cold blood I think no no that was after the his brother murdered my pola yeah yeah and we could go back even further to what his brother murdered his friend when they were little apparently he's been just popping off his friends every year that's why they didn't talk a priest he murders a priest and then burns down a church you know It's a morally ambiguous character. The church was wrong. It was an evil church.

It was made a cardboard also. What part of it does he think is morally right? Were you supposed to think that he was justified in murdering these people? Yeah. What I don't understand about him murdering the priest is like, what kind of information does he have to justify that? Like, I get that we were shown that the priest is like working with this guy. And like, yes, it is okay to kill people.

as long as it's for Jesus. But I don't think Arthur ever got that information. He kind of just showed up and murdered him. Right? I think the point is like, the Gutri just leads to anger and violence. So we need to all be accepting of each other. I think that's what he's trying to.

But again, his message is so, you know, disjointed. There's this part in the beginning about, like, he says, I'm not going to die for this country if they won't allow me to get married. So it becomes like a military message and it's just like what the where did that come from? What does that have to do with this other thing and then it's never brought up again? I think he was just trying to be preachy Yeah, but he had a lot of like monologues like that where it was clearly just him in his apartment and he turned the camera on and he pretended like there was another actor there

And he's like these goddamn the goddamn government taking my whites away god damn motherfuckers Oh man I love that scene Yeah Fuck this country. Fuck everybody. When he disappears into a closet and starts trashing it, but you don't see it. You just hear all the noise of him rummaging through shit.

And it comes back out and keeps yelling. That's great. I thought he fell down the stairs at first. It was a really good movie. There's just so much. Yeah, I don't know what else is. And it's short, too. It's short, but...

Short but sweet. And it feels kind of short. Yeah, it's short but sweet. and you feel like you got... It felt like a new shirt. Nah, it felt about right. I felt like I was satisfied by the end of it, you know? Yeah, I can watch this movie again.

Easily. Me too. I've already seen it twice. I could watch it again, but I'd have to watch it with someone. I couldn't watch it alone again. I could watch it alone. It's just fucking sad, man. I'd need to watch it on like alcohol and heroin and LSD.

Just every fucking joke. Watching this movie on LSD would be a bad idea. And heroin? At the same time? Yeah, probably a bad combo. What do I know? If you say so. Yeah, what do you know?

Yeah. You've never tried heroin at the same time? He was born in 1976, right? The director, meaning he was... I just searched his name. So he's 42 now, meaning when this film came out, he would have been, what, late 20s, early 30s? 32 minus 16

Duh 26 I'm sick My brain's not even here He was 26 He was 26 He's fucking lying dude He's not

He doesn't look 26 That's two years older than me He's not 26 He's like 30s in this I've seen 26 year olds that look like that But they're all furries And they all They all do IT.

They all work in computer jobs. Yeah, maybe he just has a very high-stress job. It might just be the airline. Yeah, that's all. Yeah, not everybody is so fortunate to have luxurious locks. But it's like, it's quite worrying

that someone of that age, that mental capacity can view people in this way. This is a kind of of thing you could pass off if you were 14 15 so you know nothing you know nothing about the world how anything works religion is just this silly concept to you you know sexuality you still have no idea what you're talking about but this is an adult this is someone

who should know at least something what he's he sounds like he's someone who's passionate about these subjects right he's passionate about it and and even he can't convey his message in a way that makes any sense. No. Well, just Christians hate gay people and they want to kill them. So you got to kill them first. Yeah. And women are bad.

Don't forget that. Why is it so extreme? It's like every woman bad. Christians are all bad. We have to kill everybody. It's so much of murder. Yeah, it's like, why don't you talk it out? No.

They don't know how. Everyone shoots everybody. So bizarre. Such a great, amazing, short but sweet film. And I'm giving this one, a 10 out of 10. Are you guys done talking about it? I don't know. Yeah, I am.

How much can we possibly fucking say about this? It's hilarious and it's awesome. I think we touched on everything. Five out of five. Yeah. For me, it's one of those movies. I gave it half, half a stuff. But it's one of those, you know, when it's so bad, it is obviously so bad that it's good.

I loved so fucking much at this film. It's pretty great. Utterly absurd it was. But at parts it was making me feel like I was going insane like all these characters because it's so fucking claustrophobic because they use the same scenes over and over, the same characters. And it's shot in the same fucking way, this like really flat, constant medium shot that like is so fucking infuriating and then now and again

they zoom into their faces really awkwardly for way too long and it's like you're just going mad the whole time and it's so repressive and just fucking goes nowhere it has no structure it's complete fucking nonsense and yeah

half a star but you would recommend it the real rating I would recommend it though I would definitely recommend it I think we all recommend it I think clearly had no idea how to make a movie and that's what is it. Yeah.

When you're talking about like... Nothing was lit even. Like they just turned the lights on in the room and they're like, that's the lighting. Held by the actors. Yeah. Held by the actors. You were saying that it would be excusable if he was like 15. I feel like it's...

I don't know. I feel like I've made better like short films when I was 15, you know? Like more competent. There will be some basis then. You could write it off as like, at least he's... 14, 15 or something. This guy's a child. This is like an adult.

Instead, he's a man child. That explains it. All right, question time. Let's do it. Yeah, let's go into some questions. If you want to leave your own questions, for us to answer on the show, head over to the Sardonic Arts Reddit,

where Ralph normally leaves a funny post for you to leave your own questions. That's right. So, So let's start with this one from Isaiah Lilbert who says, Do you think it's okay

to actually harm or kill animals to make a movie more authentic? No. I wondered about this one. Yeah. Okay, let's take I don't know. Apocalypse now.

Remember that scene towards the end where there's like a bull that kind of gets sliced apart? Mm-hmm. Um, do you think that belongs in the film? Do you think it's justified? I barely remember that movie. Really? Okay. Well, because I watched the Redux version. I need to watch the real version still and that was like three and a half hours long

Well sometimes I don't know the context that scene was filmed in but Apocalypse now was shot in a foreign country So maybe they just happen to get footage of that being done just by the people who are living there, you know? Like I don't know like sometimes they they show this footage of animals being killed but they're gonna be killed anyway So they're just recording it and they use it for their movie But to like say we're gonna have an animal bring him to set and then kill him or her For the movie is fucked up It depends on the context really I mean I'm pretty sure like if you watch like Benny's video There's like scenes of pigs dying like where they're using that like nail

gun on their heads, but it's like at a farm, so it's like, okay, you have to assume that it's part of the process. They were going to do it anyway, so we're just recording it. That's okay. But then, like, do you disagree with the old boy scene where he eats the squid, the octopus or whatever? It's like, I don't know. Is that a food animal?

Like, it's kind of like a morally gray area because we all treat animals like shit on an industrial level in the first place. It's like, it's not killing. an animal in a movie probably isn't worse than buying fragua you know if you think about it but if you're going to eat the animal at least you know yeah you might as well torture it before you eat it well you might as well torture it while it's alive you're eating the animal so it is of some use to kill an animal for entertainment is like first of all no one's entertained by that really unless it's fake and like what do you even need to do it

Yeah, it's probably unnecessary and a bad idea. It's not something I would ever do. I remember trying to watch Cannibal Holocaust. Have you guys seen that movie? Yeah, that's a great soundtrack. Yeah. But there's a scene where they, like, pull a turtle out of the water and, like, murder an actual real-life turtle with, like, the actors crying and stuff.

That's when I turned it off, because it's not, like, the only... animal death as well in that movie. It's just like, why do that need to be in there? Yeah, that movie was just trying to be shocking. Like really, really. Like, when it came out, all the actors signed agreements to go quiet for like a year. So everyone thought those actors actually died in the movie. Yeah.

You know, because it's done like a found footage thing. But like, why did they have to kill a turtle for it? Because it shocks the audience. And everyone's like, oh, my God. And that creates controversy, which sells tickets. It was a dumb phase. And I hope we're past that. shit yeah it's not a good thing I'm honestly more upset at like the way that dogs are

used in films you know where it's like a lot in well in a lot of cases like you look at certain movies like dogs and horses especially whenever you get films like can't think of a good example but there's so many cases where the dogs were just like being abused on set or like whenever they film a movie that's all about this girl that's like I want to live with the horses and they understand me and then you find out that like

30 horses died on set you know or like Milo and Otis are you guys aware of that film no I'm not yeah it was made by some Japanese guy and he went through like 30 different versions of the animals wow dude like

theoretically but it's just like there's very low standards when it comes to animals and films in the first place. I think it was it called, a dog's purpose or something like that? Oh yeah. Do you remember when that film was coming out?

There was like a clip of an Alsatian that like nearly drowned. But that was, I think that was like BS. I think the trainer was trying to help him or something and then they took it out of context and made it look like the trainer was drowning the dog. I don't know exactly what it was.

I've seen the clip though, man. It doesn't look happy. Well, it doesn't look happy, but I think it was like the dog was drowning and the guy saved. I don't know what the hell happened there, But from what I remember, people were misreporting it to make a look at dog abuse. I think in general, if you're going to use an animal in a movie, you probably just should avoid writing shit of like, oh, and then the dog saved the person from drowning, where you know you're just going to have to, you know, put the dog in the water and make it do shit that it doesn't want to do.

Why don't you just write movies where it's like, and the dog was just their friend. And, you know, they played fetch. But dogs want to do those things sometimes. If your master wants you to like fucking go swim, the dog will go swim. Depending on the dog. I guess it depends on the dog. But if it's like these trained Hollywood dogs, they really, they love it. You give them a treat.

You know, they're happy. I guess. Yeah. And they swap them out. Like I think the cruelty to animals thing is really not tolerated in Hollywood that much now or recently. I can't think of a recent example of them abusing an animal on set. That we know of. Yeah, that we know of.

But I honestly just think it doesn't happen. And if it did happen, people would sue. The owners of the dog would. I just don't think of the monkeys anymore. I don't know. I feel like a lot of people that use their dogs to make money are probably exploiting them in some way, you know, and they're comfortable with exploiting them.

Remember that scene in like Bruno where the parents? I was about saying. Oh, yeah, my baby's fine. with anything because it's like that's their paycheck right and i'd imagine that a lot of people especially in hollywood are similar with their animals where they're like oh well that's my paycheck i'm going to do whatever i have to do and it's like it's at the dog's expense not mine you know yeah but they have pita there to make sure the dog's not doing anything do they one is yeah i think they do they do whenever there's an animal i don't know they always say a lot of things for legal reasons

well I'll believe them for now because I wasn't there but yeah I don't know I think I'm okay with that it's your dog you know give your dog a treat and it does a little thing on set it's not it's that's not hurting anybody I don't think yeah yeah let's try and lighten the mood with something more yeah more positive

um god these names growdaka hg hg yeah says, seeing as the month of October is coming up on now, what horror films do you consider to be the best, whether it be in terms of how they scare you or just their overall quality? The thing.

Yeah, that's one of mine too. That's my favorite. And also one that I would consider to probably be the best, so, in my opinion. Like all the time, that's your favorite one? Yeah. Good choice, yeah. In terms of, like, well-made, yeah, the thing.

Everything about it. The Halloween, a Halloween for John Carpenter. The Halloween, a Halloween for John Carpenter. about Halloween is fantastic as well. The Shining. The Shining is a great one. Kubrick, me boy. Alien.

Alien. Do you guys like the fly? The fly is really good. You mean the Jeff Goldblum one. Yeah, the Goldblum. I wasn't big on it. I really liked the effects, but I was kind of bored for most of the movie. I like it's some really cool.

I like that. I don't think that's a good horror movie either. Like it's a good, like, sci-fi. moral. It's pretty horrible by the end. Yeah, the last 10 minutes are pretty horrifying, but the rest of it is not a horror movie. You know, like, picture a horror movie, like, you sit down with your friends and watch something or your girlfriend watch something. Like, I don't know, REC is a great one. Oh, yeah, REC2 is great, yeah.

Yeah, we could list a bunch. I think we've done this before. What, horror movies? I don't know. I don't know if that was the exact, I don't think it was the exact question and we got it. But I seem to remember I was listing through a bunch of horror movies. Yeah. Well, we'll phrase it as Halloween movies

and give the same list. Spooky, scary skeletons. The top-rated comment of this thread was from Shanbaum Triple One who says, how, if at all, did your upbringing affect your movie tastes?

I like crime movies because I grew up in New York, Queens or like there's a lot of organized crime and mafia whatever not a lot but they're used to so I come from people who used to live with that shit so I find all that interesting and I wouldn't find that interesting unless I'd had an upbringing here so I always had the interest from a young age in kind of horror type things from asking my parents about like DVD covers or it would have been VHS covers and stuff and they'd tell me little snippets and they eventually let me rent I think it was tremors or something like that and I was just obsessed with tremors alien aliens

robocop all the really violent kind of horror movies from then so that that kind of started that whole interest and it kind of stemmed from there how old were you then when this happened I'm trying to I'm trying to remember probably 11 12 or something yeah That's around mine, too. I just became obsessed with, like, violent horror movies. Yeah, I feel like it's a perfect time. It is. It is.

It's a perfect time to get into that kind of thing. That shit's awesome. You still know that it's not real, and you start to appreciate that kind of aspect of it. And it's still quite scary to you then, too. Yeah. I wish I could get scared the same way I did when I was, like, 13. Yeah, same. I'm glad I watched those horror movies then, even though my mom was like,

you're going to turn into a psychopath. I rented seven VHS films a week because there was a deal at the at the video store seven movies seven days seven dollars I was like hot damn it was only their old stuff but it was like

you know I went through all the nightmare in Elm streets the Friday of the 13th and like these cheesy slasher movies like I know what you did last summer so I guess how I was raised and how it affects my taste I do remember my dad always being very critical of the movies that we were watching.

And he still is. Yeah, he complains about things in movies out loud sometimes. And I remember there was that Michael Keaton movie Jack Frost, I think it was called. And he was like, yeah, that's stupid. But when your dad dies, he's dead. He's not going to come back to the snowman. And he, like, he hated the movie because of the idea that these kids still had their dad after he died. Yeah.

I guess some of that just rubbed off on me. My dad was that way, too, being critical movies. He wasn't as detailed as you. He would usually just say, like, oh, that was a bunch of shit and then walk away. Yeah, yeah. We've probably all grew up with, like, critical fucking people around us. Yeah. Constantly nitpicked movies, and we got it from them.

Yeah, in a way. They doomed us to this fate. Yeah. Sorry. Another question? M. Knight needs an Oscar. Says, What do you think is your worst video?

Absolute worst video. On all of my channels? Yeah. Um, yeah, go on. I have a box into your head. Is I, um, should I say one that doesn't even, that's not even online anymore? Like, I guess, because I'm thinking of one. Yeah, I'm thinking of one back on my, like, Dark Ocean Films channel that, like, I deleted because I didn't like it.

There's a few of those, but, um, it was like, I was 15 or something. And I was, I was, I was so naive at the time that whenever there was, like, a contest for something, like, submit a video or like oh submit your music I would try without fully realizing that like the type of content I produce is not does not match what they're looking for at all you know I made this really like pretend like the the theme of it was like environmentalism and I made a really like pretentious and preachy like angsty little short movie about how we're destroying the planet man and then one of the shots in it is like me smoking in a tree and I didn't notice the contradiction because I was a dumb little child. I was like, wow, I'm an idiot.

Yeah, I guess that's my worst video. You can't find it anymore, sorry. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Alex, go ahead. I can't think of one. I've got one for H.E. and one old one, like Adam's example.

it was called a dubstep parkour two it was a sequel to the first one it was the most embarrassing thing ever put on in editing software I actually deleted it

like I tried to keep copies of all the old stuff because I think it's just so funny now I have most of it but that was one that was so abysmal I just got rid of it entirely. It's not even funny. Yeah, it's just like embarrassed. I know exactly what you're talking about.

I got tons of those. I made so many shitty things when I was 13. Yeah, exactly. I'm just so embarrassing. I got a lot of those. Those are all private though. There's one that's public. I didn't make it public.

It got leaked. So it's uploaded on someone else's channel. It's a movie I made when I was like 11. It's called Band Battle. It's fucking awful Banned battle I fight my twin brother Kyle in like a

Like we're out in the snow And we fight with like He has two sidekicks And an Indian kid with a piano My friend Devinder And then Vincent who's like God what was he playing the bass guitar And then I have like my brother

Who's on a guitar hero drum And my friend Skidero on a guitar Like it was the dumbest fucking movie maybe ever made up there with Ben and Arthur but I mean it's pretty fun so and that's the worst video I have online right now so yeah I hate a lot of my old videos so yeah you should I mean that's natural shows you getting better yeah yeah it's better than I hate when you sort someone's videos by oldest to newest and there's no difference oh yeah that's frustrating I agree with you.

Do we want to do one final question? Sure. I can do one here. One more. Sort of a relevant topic, I suppose. Hopefully you guys know something about it. underscore Guy underscore says, what do you think of Shane Dawson's documentary series?

Do you think this is a step in the right direction for filmmaking on YouTube? Topical. That's great, actually, because my throat hurt so much last night. I couldn't sleep. I started watching it and then stopped watching it not because I fell asleep but because it was trash

by the second episode The first episode I was like Okay I'm like maybe a little intrigued Maybe second episode I was just like this is bullshit And apparently there's gonna be eight of them And they're all like 40 minutes long It drags on for fucking forever

It's so stretched out It's so cheesy It's overdramatic Like it feels so fake. It's overproduced. The psychology shit that they throw in there is really not like it doesn't seem

professional or accurate. She's listing off these like really vague ideas of what it means to be a sociopath. You know? And she's like, I can feel it when they walk in the room. It's like you shouldn't I don't trust your credibility when you say you can feel someone's a fucking sociopath just by them walking in the

room. Like this is bullshit. Keep playing that dumb suspenseful music over top of it. Like yeah. This is like This is worse than like shitty TV, you know? So no, I don't think it's like a step in the right direction. It's like it's longer form content. That's I guess kind of cool. But like, God, it's like as if not more manipulative and terrible than like any random schlock you could find on cable.

Oh yeah. If not worse. Yeah. And by the end of it, I'm calling it now. he's going to be like, well, it's inconclusive of whether or not he's a sociopath. Some would say he is. Some would say he isn't.

Like, that's my fucking prediction. Let's see if I'm right. I was most annoyed by everyone was praising sort of how professional it was. And then when I was on it, I was like, well, it just looks like a YouTube video. It just looks like a vlog. What are you talking about?

I think people have very low expectations for YouTube content. Yeah, I think that. And for Shane Dawson. I mean, is it better than not cool or whatever the hell that movie was? So cool. I don't know what that was.

It was not cool. What's that movie? It was one of Shane Dawson's movies, not cool. Was he just in it, though? Yeah, he was the main character. Yeah. I'm going to judge him based on the content.

Didn't he direct it? He directed it. He directed it. Oh, he directed it? Okay, no matter. He's like, he wants to be a filmmaker. Not Cool? Oh.

Yeah, it's good. Not Cool. Let me look at this up. God bless, dude. Keep trying to make movies, but, I mean, you know, there's improvements to be made. A one meta score.

A one meta score. I've never seen that before. Yeah. It looks great. I've seen it many times. From the producer of American Pie. It's kind of annoying because he clearly has the resources to be able to fund something of actual quality that could push that kind of thing in a proper direction. So does smage.

Yeah. Yeah. Shane Dawson's going for the edgier, like, we've got interviews. This is a documentary. Smosh has always been kind of goofy, dumb comedy skits or whatever. Yeah, I guess so. Shane wants to put more of an air of, like, professionalism to it. Yeah.

Like, oh, this is going to have an impact. It's important. It's like a work of art. It's a film. It's a film. It's a film. Something that has been talked about and done to death to such a degree. What can anyone even say at this point about those fucking brothers?

Who gives the shit? God damn it. Come on. Yeah. Yeah, it really just dawned on me when I was halfway through part two. I was like, am I seriously investing this much time in a fucking Jake Paul documentary? Exactly. Trying to go into his character when it's like, you haven't said anything that I didn't already know.

You know, like that I couldn't already just infer by the internet existing, you know, by me and not living under a rock. Like, it's just him acting really concerned and talking. about Jake Paul. With that stupid music and over-editing. It's so bad. Trash content. Do you think if someone who doesn't know who those people are, Jake Paul? It's not well made in that sense either.

Okay. So they wouldn't get anything out of it. That's why it's so stretched out is because the people watching it are people who are already interested in what people have to say about Jake Paul. The people who are watching it want to hear somebody else say, ooh, Jake Paul's a bad person. And he just stretches it out for eight. 40 minutes episodes

just so he can blue ball people that think like, oh yeah, this will prove that he's a sociopath and this will confirm my biases like okay, it's just trash. And the moral of the story will be, look, he's a person and he's got feelings too. It's going to be inconclusive.

It's going to be like, oh, some say it's this and some say it's that, but I'm not really going to give any kind of conclusive opinion on it even though that's kind of what I implied I would do. Yeah Well hopefully he goes on to do something

I don't hate the guy I just think it's trash Yeah I mean either It's a bad documentary Yeah Sorry Choose something more interesting yeah Yeah well I don't know

You could make an interesting documentary on Jake Paul Just not like that Don't stretch it out so much Like what the hell are you doing Maybe just not good at making movies It's just It's so manipulative

It's just garbage When you're already such a personality of yourself Yeah It's like those shows that would Would like tease the like in coming up And then they show the same clip The next commercial break And then the next commercial break

And it's like what are we going to get to this thing That you're telling me is going to be like a ghost show Yeah Like what the fuck it's just it's garbage Anyway On that note I guess we're done questions And uh

somebody has a film I guess it's my one right it is oh yeah yeah so it's not gonna be as um impressive or thought provoking deep as well is it Ben and Arthur

oh that's a shame so hard ones follow up um but I want to talk about a movie I've actually mentioned before um I hope I'm I'm the only one who's seen it but I want to talk about

uh Pink Floyd's the War nice thank you Mixed up a bit. I've been meaning to watch it for so long. You actually, will you seriously? Yeah, it was. Nice. Because I saw Ralph, you, you said you're into Pink Floyd at the moment, and, you know,

this is a good film to accompany that kind of thing. What are you talking about him, said you want to see it. You said on Twitter. What a weirdo. You said it on your wall. Yeah. Yeah, bro. That's a good one, Adam.

Should be somewhat easy to find. It's not that. of a deep cut. I think I already have a copy somewhere. Yeah, I've got it on DVD, so I think it's actually in parts on YouTube if you're really struggling. It's not the best on YouTube because it skips,

bits out. But if that's the only place you can find it, it'll do. All right, perfecto. Thank you very much. I cannot wait. Very excited. Thank you, everybody,

for listening to this episode of Sardana cast. if you would like to sorry I'm still sick if you would like to I have not been cured in this hour and a half if you would like to support the show or listen to these episodes early

go to sardinacast.com $2 a month you can get them when they're edited which is usually a few days before they're released publicly also patreon.com slash sardonicast it's the same thing there thank you very much

we all appreciate you fine people thanks we love you I'm straight I love you hard I'm straight I love you more than Ben loves Arthur I love you more than Arthur's brother loves Arthur but he hates Arthur but he loves him it's just this is remember how like they always told you like oh yeah if a girl's picking on you it's because she likes you that's what Arthur's brother is doing to Arthur. Because he wants to fuck his brother. Yeah. How's it?

Let's end this podcast with all three of us shooting each other. Ah, what you say? Just add in three gunshot sound effects and then just end it. Very, very quiet gunshot sound effects. Yeah, that's right. So you can't hear it in the shower. The gun actually went off twice when they were wrestling on the floor. I don't know if you noticed.

But it was very quiet. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was like pow-pow, but it was very quiet. Anyway, we gotta go before we get sucked into the void again. Bye, everybody. Bye.