Sardonicast - Sardonicast #33: Avengers: Endgame, Star Wars Prequels

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

Website: https://sardonicast.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Sardonicast Merch: https://shop.ritualnetwork.com/collections/sardonicast Twitter: https://twitter.com/sardonicast Reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/sardonicast Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sardonicast Discord: https://discordapp.com/invite/9vG73zS Ralph's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ralphthemoviemaker Alex's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/IHEOfficial Adam's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/YourMovieSucksDOTorg Alex's Twitter: https://twitter.com/IHE_OFFICIAL Ralph's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ralphsepe Adam's Twitter: https://twitter.com/2gay2lift Adam's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/YMS Intro music by: https://www.youtube.com/user/anUnkindnessvideo

Three, two, one. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, George Lucas became a hack and some people talked about it. Hey. This is Sardonicast, everybody. What do you mean? What do you mean? Don't say that.

I just said it. He said a hack. Yeah, sure. This is Adam from your movie sucks. I'm Ralph from YouTube.com slash Ralph the Movie Maker. This is where the fuck me is. from I.G. That's it, just keep going.

Just keep quoting. Yeah. Do some more prequel quotes while I read it. Yeah, sure. Oki Day. This will be a fine addition to my collection. O'Kie Day. What's that great one?

Your new empire. Buy Delo Feligates. Yes. Oh, God. Mises up to pause. But I can't stress how painful it was to watch it with subtitles.

because they misspelled the words for him, too. It was like they emphasized it. Before we start talking about this, we should probably mention the other couple of things we want to before we get into that. 420 awards happened. They didn't get live streamed. Who could have seen this coming?

Nobody thought that that was a possibility that Derek Savage couldn't figure out how to live stream an event and wouldn't properly coordinate it so that somebody else who knew how to would. Oh dear Oh dear That's what I can say Yeah

Well Smith won And everything said Live tonight The 420 Awards Why did it say live? I don't know Live stream it Yeah I don't know why he went

What live means It's a live event It's live if you're there Yeah it's a live event So he put live Um I don't know I uh

I think he's just gonna try And sell it as a DVD Maybe he never planned on actually live streaming it Maybe it was just another one of his promises Will you buy it? Of course I will But I have to send it to a friend's address Because I'm pretty sure he just won't send it to me

That's what I've been doing with all the recent Cool Cat stuff I'll like send it to a friend That might even live in a different city that I visit every so often And then it's like ah he doesn't know it's me So Yeah Because he like refunded me before Oh

Fans of ours were there, right? At the 420 Awards? Yeah, I read some, like, fan accounts. Someone put a video on our Reddit, right? Yeah. Look very awkward. Did you watch it? Just the very beginning, yeah.

I watched some of it. It's been a while. I saw it like last week. Intro by Derek Savage. At the 420 Awards, talking about how he made the award show because other Hollywood award shows are too political

at the 420 awards by Derek Savage, the man with the most inappropriately political Twitter account for a cartoon children's brand of all time. This is the man that gets way too political complaining about how other people are too political. It's too brilliant. It's too brilliant. If he watched the Academy Awards

and they were spouting the exact same shit, as him, I think he'd be okay with it. Because he literally said in his intro, like, it's too liberal. Too liberal. He literally said the word liberal, so, I mean, yeah.

He's a funny way. I think he's just a genius. He's just ahead of our time. He's misunderstood. Name one genius that ain't crazy. Hmm. I don't know. Got me there.

See? I guess that's it all we have to say about the 24. 420 awards yeah we can't watch it so yeah yeah we'd love to have seen it well smith won and also emma stone i don't know what the other awards went to i didn't really look it up what were the awards best well it used to be like hottest tunk but then he changed the name to something else like just best actor but not necessarily from a movie specific to this past year just like so he just gave it to will submit yeah and i'm pretty sure all of the awards lined up with the Twitter polls you know how he just all those polls on Twitter.

I'm pretty sure that's how they were decided. Oh, yeah. So, like, you already knew the answers before showing up to the awards, basically. Right. Yeah. Oh, boy, you can't make this up. You think there would be, like, a list of winners

on his website, but... Yeah, but maybe you just have to scroll through his Twitter polls to find them. Same difference. Very professional. Um... There was a... There was a question that we got last episode.

about which famous people have seen our videos. And then somebody posted in the comments for the episode in our subreddit, like, hey, I can't believe Adam didn't mention Charlie Kaufman. And so I'm doing that now. And I didn't mention any of the people I've interviewed. I have an entire interview playlist on my channel. I guess I just compartmentalize that as something completely different. like yeah they all watched my videos i mean before i even interviewed them too that's why i got these

interviews i interviewed charlie coffman i interviewed lloyd coffman unrelated uh matt johnson unrelated to me and kenny hots and uh also duke johnson was there with charley coffman and they all had positive things to say about my videos and it was very heartwarming especially charlie coffman because he's like one of my idols too so that was definitely that was definitely like a check stuff the things to do before I die sort of thing. The bucket list, yeah. You know, it's fucking crazy? That was my first interview I've ever given, was Charlie Kaufman.

And that's why I sound so nervous in it, too. I was going to say, surely you're really nervous for that. Yeah, you can kind of hear it at the beginning. It was a good one, though. Come on the show, Charlie. We'll talk about Star Wars Episode 3 together. Yeah. His favorite.

It's going to be fun. Yeah. I bet he really wants to do that And a bit of Avengers Endgame, perhaps Yeah, of course You think you saw it this weekend? Well, spoilers?

We can give a short blurb Before we start spoilers Yeah, we should talk Yeah, spoilers later Yeah, so the The movie sold out really quickly It's already like the 18th highest grossing film of all time And it's only been like three days

You made a billion dollars in a weekend Yeah broke records everybody saw this coming though nobody's surprised yeah is it any good is the question I suppose I think I mean it's not not any good but is it better than the last one no not in my opinion not at all I don't think so I don't even think the fans really do feel the same I saw a lot of responses and there's apparently a lot of people who consider it to be like their favorite movie ever unironically not trying to insult them i'm just saying these people exist right some people got very emotional

oh yeah like people crying and i teared up a little when uh oh spoiler i said something happened that i teed up i was trying to cut you off before you did it oh yeah exactly mentioning spoilers is so dense with just things my 20 minute review i get the spoiler section at the two minute mark so you literally can't talk about the plot like anything even remotely considered like the initial incident or like when things start rolling you're already spoiling it because the way that things are set up the movie is literally spoilers for the previous one yeah yeah yeah i mean anyway i thought it was uh average overall i mean not averages in like oh i saw something i've never seen before and it's not

unique or anything but like pros versus cons achievements versus annoyances flaws etc I have some issues with it I think it was it was aiming to do a lot like I don't see it as average I see it is like it kind of falls on its face sometimes yeah yeah some of the characters and it's a little too long and there's a lot of bad comedy oh yeah I'm sure we'll get into these things I don't like the fuck the spoiler Yeah, let's Spoiler section, everybody.

All right, first spoiler. So you have anything else to say before we go on a spoiler section? I would just say, unlike Infinity War, which kind of stands alone, I think it feels more like the last episode of a TV season kind of culmination of 20, however many movies it was. So in that respect, it's kind of a nice payoff if you've been paying attention to these movies.

But, yeah, then we need to get into spoilers as to the issues. I have with the overall thing. Spoiler section, everybody. You're going to get spoiled. You can skip this conversation. Just click on the timestamp. 3, 2, 1. Spoilers.

All right. Most important spoiler. Hulk dabs. Thor plays Fortnite. Ouch. Never saw that coming. The most epic parts of the movie, yeah. Yeah, there was some bad comedy in it.

I didn't even mention that. I really didn't like what they did with Thor at all, really. Yeah. I thought Thor was a bad character in this. I was kind of lame It felt really flat I didn't like it at all And like oh he's got a beer belly

That got old after five seconds And they kept having close-ups on it Just everything with him Was so poorly handled Yeah It didn't even look real I mean like it looked like just a dumb fat suit Which is part of the problem for me

It's like I don't know You have so much production value Going into this movie But they just decided not to add any weight to his face I guess as an intentional choice because they're like, oh, we can't make Thor ugly. We can make him kind of a daddy bod, but we can't make him ugly, you know?

They made Tony Stark at the beginning look really skinny. Yeah. Because he'd been, like, trapped in space. Yeah, and that looked really good. So, that was odd. There's a lot of, like, de-aging and aging, with the CGI, that's really well done in this. Tommy Lee Jones, not Tommy Lee Jones.

Who was it? The guy from Madman. Yeah, he was really well done, like the young version of him. And then Old Captain America. Yeah, he's good too. On coming back to Thor, did you guys feel as though they kind of strategically avoided shooting his belly after like the halfway point in the movie?

When they're like, things are serious again, let's not pay any more attention to him being fat. Like they gave him like bulkier clothes. It's like you couldn't even tell at that point. If somebody watched from like the halfway point in the movie to the end, you wouldn't even know that he got fat. Yeah. Yeah, I felt that way. I guess they were using him as like, immediate relief because otherwise the film would be pretty dower.

Yeah. First act in particular is really sort of down as it should be. And I guess they tried to use him as a balancing thing to make it feel less imposing. But yeah, the comedy did kind of go all over the place. I liked the essence of what they were trying to do. I think that character kind of going into a depressed alcoholic state after his failure from the first movie is a good place to take the character. and I like, I did like some of like where his character goes once he's talking to his mother and all of that.

I think like the character beats are okay, but the comedy kind of falls flat and how it looks is the issue. I would have actually been perfectly okay if they took that element a bit more seriously. Because every time they were clearly trying to turn it into a joke, I'm like, this isn't, this isn't that funny. Like if my friend turned into that, I'd be kind of sad, you know. Like, if this is a character you care about, it's not really that much of a joke other than ha ha he's fat, which isn't much of a joke. Like, ha ha, Fortnite, I guess, too. Yeah.

Yeah, it's just kind of sad. It is sad. Yeah. Which, yeah, it would be cool if it was taken with a bit more seriousness. But, you know what these Marvel movies are like. There's always, there's always, like, one casualty from the kind of humor. Every single time they do it. There's always one.

It's like they kind of betray the character almost just for the sake of the comedy. And I guess because of the last Thor movie and how comedic that film was, they chose to do it with him. Yeah, I don't know. It really depends what kind of movie year is overall and how well it's going to fit. Because most of this movie is like super serious in a way. It's like the way they handled Captain America and Iron Man in this is so well done. And they're obviously one of the larger characters. The main three are like Iron Man Thor and Captain America.

right and like the way they handle those other two characters so great and Thor they don't know what to do with yeah they just keep changing it moving to movie maybe because it's fucking it's just bad the film's focusing on trying to wrap up iron man and captain america specifically because they clearly set up for future stuff so maybe they weren't as concerned with trying to give him like an emotional it's going to be but they never do you never give him anything i wouldn't say they don't give him anything I just think it's a bumpy road to where he does go. So as somebody that never watched any of the previous Thor films, would you say his character is like consistent throughout or really inconsistent?

Because you were kind of implying. Like did they not try to do him as comedic relief at the beginning or what? No. He was fish out of water. Okay. Interesting. So like Aquaman? Bazing.

Mm-hmm. The most epic thing all the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. literally with every one of those Thor movies. It became like the dumb one, like a dumb surfer bro kind of character. Well, that was another issue I had with the movie was that

that whole section takes place within the second Thor movie, mostly agreed as being possibly the worst film in the entirety of the MCU. So that on its own is kind of a, do we really have to go back to that? They kind of wrote themselves into a corner with that one because of how important they made it within their own. universe. Yeah.

It's just unfortunate that film was so bad. The Natalie Portman insert shots. Yeah. With her in like the bedroom. Uh-huh. That was deleted scenes, I think, from Thor 2. That's funny. Oh, really?

So she wasn't even, she didn't even show up to... No. She didn't even get paid. Yeah. Wow. She probably didn't want to do it. While that one wasn't the best, I thought out of all of the like fan-service moments, some of them were pretty good, like, payoffs for...

Yeah. The best one was probably the Hail Hydro one in the elevator. That was like a clever spin on that. That was kind of funny. I didn't mind that, but I didn't really consider that to be as much of a like, hey, remember this sort of thing than a lot of the other things that happened. I felt like a lot of it was just kind of... The callback to Guardians 2 or Guardians of the Galaxy 1, the opening credits,

where they're like watching Star Lord. That was fun. I'm really not a big fan of just like references. to previous moments of just being like, remember this, and I get it. It's like for the fans, but even if I'm a fan of something, I don't like that kind of thing, really.

They weren't just references, though. It was part of the plot. I think it was more loving. On a story level, it fits. Yeah. I thought the film was built from the ground up from being like this ultimate, like, fan respect. So here you go, here is some kind of payoff

for the investment of like watching 20, two movies or whatever it was. Yeah, by the end of it. There are cynical things like that in there, though. Like when Tony Stark gives his daughter the Iron Man mask, like the toy one, looks like a toy. And I assume there's probably a toy of that in Target or something. Also, she wasn't great. I didn't think she did a good job.

No. But she was barely in it, too. I know. She was in it at some important parts where she was probably would have helped to have a better child actor. like his funeral. Sure. Your dad's dead.

You're just, I mean. We haven't even mentioned the time travel, which is kind of an issue. I'm just waiting for that because that's going to take a while. Did it bug you, Ralph, at all, or be you okay? It was as goofy as hell. I loved it.

Where else could they go from here? Honestly? Time travel? That was great. I'm okay with the concept of time travel, but to me, literally about a third of the movie is dedicated to like expositional scenes

of them, explaining how the time travel works, but then they don't even properly adhere to their rules. Yeah, I wouldn't even say they spent very long explaining it at all, but they did have pretty clearly defined rules. Yeah, I mean, it was like... Yeah, I didn't feel the exposition was that bad. Yeah, they mentioned it very briefly at several different points of just like the core rules that you need to understand.

First was, you know, justifying why they can't kill baby Thanos being like, no, but your timeline, it creates a new. timeline and it doesn't affect this current timeline when you go back and change something, you've created an alternate path and then later Tilda Swinton is saying, yeah, but if you remove one of the infinity stones that keep the universe in balance, you've removed it from this timeline and so you've got to put it back or else we're just bad things in general are going to happen. And I'm going to show you a scary graphic and just imagine all the bad things that will happen. So you got to do this.

And then, yeah, you're right. they do not follow those rules at all, which I mean, when it comes to time travel in movies, I am perfectly, perfectly okay with it not making actual sense in the real world, because that's inevitable. Like, time travel into the past is not possible as far as we know unless you're talking about some random molecular quantum thing that somebody wrote a study on that you can find on the internet, but like, I mean, not in the way that they're ever going to show it in a movie. So all I ask is that you have rules or you don't have rules, but if you do have rules,

stay consistent with them and don't betray them. Like, you have the freedom to create whatever rules you want, and they did. And the rules were an excuse for why you couldn't do other things. So why did you break those rules at the end? Not just at the end, but like somewhat throughout. Yeah, it was dumb. I didn't care though For me it was

It was a little logic out the window at that point These Marvel movies have always been Based in like these incredibly simplistic stories Right and it's always been about character And this was the first time Like it's so complex There are little forums everywhere Everyone's arguing about like the rules

And how it works And I don't think Like if that's the takeaway from the movie That's kind of an issue when it was supposed to be About the characters and finishing them off I don't think it ruined the movie completely But you do have to do the thing where you switch your brain off and try and not talk about it because it's just so immensely complex to try and wrap your head around Well, it's just so goofy I wasn't trying to like work out the plot holes

I'm like I'm just going with this at this point I just I mean the the issue is that They stated those rules as kind of a way to explain Yeah, like they definitely Hammered it into our heads in a way where you can't you can't help but think about it you know you can't help but keep that in mind because they put that in your mind so when it contradicts itself it's like but why i thought you said how you said this it's just yeah it's not what i want to be thinking about in this like epic conclusion finale really yeah but then the last third of the film they kind of leave the time travel

aspect behind and it just becomes fucking craziness just shooting and Pegasuses and everyone gets nuts spider man riding on a yeah spider yeah there was some fun stuff I really enjoyed the

the end battle but yeah I feel like the whole movie is just fan service but good fan service respectful well made I don't know if you agree with me or not but I feel like despite the time travel not really being present

in that last battle the fact that it was present before kind of hurt it a little because this isn't even the Thanos that knows any of these characters. He's just some guy and they want to stop him. He has the same goals, but he doesn't know who they are, and I feel like it's a lot less emotionally impactful. Because he doesn't even know who he's fighting. Like, it's not just, I wish that there was a fight scene between the Thanos that

thought he won, you know, like that experience. He does know because he saw all the footage. He knows that somebody else that is him one, but somebody who experienced the actual events of the previous film. It's not the same. Yeah. Exactly. Like,

I feel like there isn't as much of an emotional impact for me. And they could have written it differently. But I don't know. Like, it depends on what people really want out of it, I guess. It's just, that's what I would have wanted. There's another elephant in the room we need to bring up that really robbed a lot of suspense for me, away from the movie and that was the

pointless inclusion of Captain Marvel I think she's such a bad character and they kept talking about how great she was the whole movie and then she fucked off for 90%

I've got other planets to save and in that like insane fight at the end she just fucking destroys the shit I'm back as soon as those cannons pointed up in the sky I was like I rolled my eyes and was like oh I guess all their problems are solved then she's here

wow it's really annoying because that was like So yeah, that was a point of tension for me. I was like, how are the Avengers going to deal with this looming threat above them? It's this huge, like, ship that's so vast. I was like, this is going to be fun to watch how they take this down. It's like, no, cats and Marvel can just fly through it. Boom. And it's over.

Yeah. It's so lame to me. And her inclusion is like, she's so irrelevant really to the story. She only exists so she can save Tony Stark at the beginning and then save them at the end. Aside from that, her character is pointless. She's got like no fun interactions, her character isn't built in any way. she's pointless. Well, they shot all of her stuff before the Captain Marvel movie.

So they didn't really want to write anything for her because they didn't want to step on the other creator's toes. I think she just shouldn't have even been in this universe at all. The film treats her as if she's like this weight. Yeah. We have to do everything in our power to make sure she has gone as quickly as possible because she's so overpowered that we can't structure scenes with consequence with her being there. Exactly.

And even when she's there, it's like, you could just fly out into, out of the, away from the planet with the gauntlet. If you don't want Thanos to have it, you could just get out of the fucking atmosphere. His ship's destroyed. You already destroyed it. Why don't you leave? He won't be able to fly and come get you? You don't want him to use the gauntlet, right? I saw someone counterpointing this argument by saying something like, well, Dr. Strange is really overpowered.

Why isn't he just create a little portal over Thanos's arm and cut it off or something? But then the Infinity Stones would be in some random place. You want to make sure that some superhero has it. You don't know who's going to pick it up. No, he just means like cut the arm off. Oh, that too. But the point was, um, Dr. Strange actually has like an interesting gimmick. You know, his power is a fun to watch.

They're creative. They do lots of fun things with him and his chemistry with the other characters. That's what makes him interesting. Like the powers at that point aren't even important. But Captain Marvel, what is fun about just watching this, like, invincible creature just flying around smashing through ships. Literally nothing. It's just no chemistry with anyone.

Yeah. Yeah. Like just the most vague, strong, I'm strong and stronger than everybody and I can do anything. And then add that with zero charisma, just unlikable character. She would honestly be a better villain than a hero. Yeah. She would actually be like really difficult to take down for the Avengers. Yeah.

Yeah. She acts like a villain. Yeah. She's so cocky. Yeah. Brie Larson played a good villain in Scott Polgram. She was like the ex-girlfriend. Oh, yeah.

That's what she's good as, like the bitchy ex-girlfriend. Yeah, it's... Captain Marvel, everyone. It's really unfortunate because I don't know if... It seems like they kind of just forced her into this story by the very end of it. Like, she wasn't around at all. And the entire Captain Marvel movie was them basically just justifying this idea that, like, she's been here this whole time and also

she's the most important. It's been this way forever and it's like yeah if you want to make a Captain Marvel movie fine do it. You should have done it after end game though. Like you should have had her if you want to do her in the Marvel universe just do it after

all the really important shit that people care about right now because otherwise you're just kind of forcing her in and it really did seem forced. Yeah but they also didn't do a good job. In a movie that's already very long they didn't do a good job of actually introducing her in the movie. It's so built on the back of the

knowledge that you've already seen Captain Marvel, but I went with some friends who hadn't seen Captain Marvel. So to them, just this random person showed up who was invincible and just save the day. Oh, yeah. It's not an interesting way to do it. It's not an interesting way to do it. And that's part of the reason why I don't love it is like that's kind of what I'm looking for. I loved

Infinity War. I really did. I enjoyed it. Quite a lot. That's exactly what I was thinking. After I finished Infinity War, I was like, I could happily watch that again. But after seeing this one, like, okay, I enjoyed many parts of that. But I don't want to rush back to see it partially because it's so long

and because the pacing isn't great. I was desperate to check my watch at points. It wastes a lot of time, and that's something that Infinity War did not do. Yeah, I rewatched Infinity War last week. It's fucking great. Not great. In terms of everything it had to accomplish, it does

it all, and the pacing is like super smooth. It doesn't feel its length at all. And this you know, feels its length. Certainly. I wouldn't say it's boring, but... Because they have to spend so much of the movie just explaining how and why the movie can happen. Yeah. Did you enjoy, like, the first third of the film with, like, the darker character development stuff? Because I enjoyed all that stuff.

I like that, but I wish there was a bit more. I didn't, I thought there was just enough there, honestly. I was shocked there was that much in there. The first hour of this movie is pretty, like, dower, and there's no action really. It's just like characters dealing with shit And I like that I didn't mind that at all Somebody left a really interesting comment That I very much agree with

Saying that they wish that There was more attention put on The actual world The actual universe of like What are the consequences of Half of people just disappearing one day Like I want to understand all that shit Like that would make for a really good

There's so much other stuff going on in the movie They can't focus on that. No, I get that, but I would actually disagree with Alex in the sense that, like, I don't feel like they spent very long explaining how all this shit works, but I do feel like they wasted a lot of time just dicking around in time travel anyway. Like, the whole thing was like, now it's a heist movie, kind of. And Thor's sequence with Rocket Raccoon, like, they took as long as possible to get their stone. Like, that was such a big waste of time. That was such a boring scene. You know, like, there's so much of that.

That should have been cut down a lot. The entire time travel thing should have been cut down, but it was just a bunch of references for the fans that, like, if you're the biggest Marvel fan, if you love every movie, you love the universe a lot more than I do, then you're probably having a blast. But for me, I'm just like, like, I get it. I understand the references, even though I'm not even a hardcore fan.

Like, there's probably some more subtle ones that I didn't. It wasn't just references, though. It's not just references. It's part of the story. Half of the, like, the thematic. point of the movies, like these characters go back in time and confront these things from their past and deal with them and move on.

Like Captain America going back to the 50s and Robert Downey Jr. Matt his dad. I know. All that shit. That's not just dumb references. Yeah. There are dumb references in there, but I feel there's way more stuff that's at service of the story

here. That's fair. The time travel segment wasn't that dumb to me. It was very long. It was too long. Way too long. And Thor should have gone to Thor too they should have made up like another scenario for him to go to because like the stuff with Thanos that was all pre-gardians like it was just a made-up era they could have gone there we're done something like that how do you feel about all the massive plot convenience in Nebula's little expedition yeah there's a lot of

plot convenience there yeah yeah yeah so I enjoyed nebulaa actually pretty interesting yeah how so I enjoyed nebula actually How so? How so? Like they actually developed her and did stuff with her this time around, which was nice. Go on. I want to hear her like the hero figure. Usually it's Gomorra taking on that position.

And this time Nebula like took the reins and kind of saved the day. She was one of the most vital parts of the mission. I enjoyed that. Didn't she screw the day? Yeah, it was her fault. It was her fault. It was not her fault. She gets captured.

She gets captured. Yeah, she let herself get captured. She could have just went back to the future. She could have just pressed the button. but she didn't okay whatever well I mean it's it's all her fault

she just decided to hang out there like oh no he knows it doesn't matter if he knows this is a different timeline go back but she didn't so I mean none of the bad shit would have happened if that didn't happen and then she she'd like teleported the ship

back into the future even though they already very clearly explained that they only had enough pin particles to go back but they sent the 2014 Nebula back. So I don't know how they like she just stuck her hand into the time machine either They got more PIM particles somewhere which doesn't make sense Like I know Iron Man got them from the 70s but you they explained it as though you need PIM particles

To also be on the thing that you're traveling through time like there weren't any extra PIM particles on Thanos's ship But he got there and so it's like okay well if you don't need PIM particles on whatever you're transporting Then theoretically couldn't current nebula have just stuck her her her circuitry into the time machine and then warped the infinity stones there, why do you even have to go there and pick them up if this is what you can do? This is what I mean. I just don't want to be thinking about that kind of thing when I'm just trying to enjoy the finale. It's really difficult not to for me.

No, I'm the same. It won't bog the movie down for me. It wasn't for me. Okay, now what? Well, I mean, I guess, Alex, you saw my review. Ralph, did you? no I didn't not yet that's fine you posted it last night right

yeah yesterday I know we kind of like Alex you and I we mentioned how the time travel consistency doesn't really make sense and I'm sure because we didn't really thoroughly go into it we don't have to spend too long on it but we should at least mention some examples

I'm sure that if we don't there will be people that are going to say like no it makes perfect sense you just didn't think about it yeah like when they clearly they clearly define that you're creating separate timelines when you change something, right? So Captain America goes back with all six infinity stones. He would have to go back to four different timelines. And even if we assume that he's able to just imagine which timeline to go to through the power of his suit in one trip,

which is very weird to think about, like to try and coordinate, he kind of just shows up at the end on the bench. And the film was implying, which I realized after a while, because I didn't think they were because it's so stupid. The film was implying that he stayed in the past and then just waited on the bench for the events to take place so that he could surprise everybody. But if he stayed in the past, that wouldn't be their past. That would be a different timeline. That was the entire justification for why you couldn't kill baby Thanos, but now you're just in the past in general. He jumps back.

He puts them back and then he lives with Peggy, right? Yeah, but he didn't jump back. He's not wearing the suit, I don't believe. either way he's not on the platform. You needed the platform to come back. The film was implying that he stayed there. And I thought he jumped back too, because this is ridiculous what the film is actually implying what most people believe that it's implying.

It's actually ridiculous. And I didn't think that was the case. But now I realized eventually that that is what it's implying, that he literally stayed in the past and then just sat down for a while. And that's the past. And waited for them. Because he didn't come back to the platform. He would have come back to the platform.

he was on the bench. No, but he didn't. He lived his life, but he knew where the bench was going to be. So he went to the bench. So he went to it. So he stayed in the past. He never worked back. But he shouldn't be in the past. He shouldn't be in the past, though.

He should be in a different timeline. And then some people are saying, but what if every version of... No, because he stayed in that timeline and just put the gems back. It's the same timeline. No, no, it's not. As soon as you... No, no, no, no, no. I've went back and I've made sure...

When I made my review, I spent so fucking long... I don't even care about any of the shit. If you don't care about it, then why are you arguing against me? If you don't care about it, then why are you arguing as though what I'm saying is untrue? I don't know. When you put the stones back, it just means that bad things won't happen in that universe and that it won't be out of balance. But you're still creating a new timeline.

If that wasn't the case, if it was the... If by putting a stone back meant, oh, it's the same timeline again now, then they could just kill baby Thanos. right you wouldn't need the stones that was their entire justification they said if you go back in time and kill baby thanos no stones were even mentioned at this point if you go back in time and kill baby thanos regardless of stones it would be a different timeline and it wouldn't affect the current timeline that you're in you would create a new timeline that's what they said is the idea that he he stayed in the current timeline while the captain america from the first avengers and all the other

movies was doing his thing at the same time, but he just avoided him. Yeah, that's basically what it's implying, I guess. He just, he literally just stayed there and he never came back, but he's somehow in the same timeline. And then other people are saying, like, oh, yeah, what if every version of yourself does the same thing? But then if that was the case, then you could still just kill baby Thanos. It's so confusing.

I would have, it would have made perfect sense if he, if he decided to go. back in time, live his life, and then maybe his life died and he was like, okay, yeah, I'm done. And then came back and he, you know, he appeared back on the platform because he warped back and said, you know, I lived a happy life. But instead, they wanted to make it more

like, I guess cinematic and just him on the bench. And like, that's fine and all, but it comes at the expense of the logic. And for the people that are thinking about the logic, it doesn't help. Right, but it heightens the emotion. And that's the more important thing. Sure.

But for most people, it's a comic book silly thing. I don't think about the logic of it that much. I wanted it to be a comic book silly thing. If this same thing happened in Shazam, then I'd be like, oh, whatever. But the whole movie isn't a comic book silly thing. He was an old man. It was perfect. Yeah, but here's what I have that's an issue about what you just said is you're like,

oh, it's a comic book silly thing. It doesn't matter. But nowhere in that scene is it treating itself like a comic book silly thing. It's treating it as a poignant, emotional wrap-up to this character's arc, right? It's very serious. It's very serious. So you can't just brush it off as like, oh, it's just a comic book silly thing. The tone of it is very exaggerated.

So Captain America is sitting there on the bench. Yes, it's not realistic. It's not the most logical thing that could happen. But for what fans want, which is those two characters interacting and having a nice moment, it's the best possible thing they could have written. And that's what they did. It's the most satisfying fan. the whole movie is basically fan service.

Very well made, well written, well-acted fan service. And so if they want to reward the fans in that way, I think that's better. You're acting like there's no other way they could have done it. I feel like I respect how... That's the way they chose to done it, and I was fine with that. I respect the moments that worked well enough to imagine a scenario where he could have still warped back and it could have been just as emotional. Like I think they totally could have pulled that off

I think no matter what you do the time travel is going to make no sense I think no matter what you do it's going to make no sense As long as they follow their own rules It's fine As long as they follow their own rules Time travel does not make sense in any movie Including Primer including 12 monkeys There's so many things that don't make sense about time travel

Just follow your own rules That's all I want Why have rules in the first place if you don't follow them Yeah there's never like a scene like in Lupa for example for example where they're like, listen, we know this makes no sense. It's like the opposite. The film knows how annoying people find like time travel

tropes and all the rules of it. And it keeps hammering home how it needs to matter and make sense. But then they don't really do it properly? It's really weird. Yeah. It's got so many different versions of characters and timelines and things it has to do

that at the expense of logic it just does things to you know, simplify it. Heighten the emotion of it and I'm fine with that That didn't bother me throughout the entire thing I think a movie where you got like Pegasus is flying around And raccoons shooting people I'm not thinking too hard about the

The time travel logic of it It's certainly frustrated Yeah it was completely inconsistent and I take points off for it too But it didn't ruin the experience and I wasn't sitting there Points off right Trying to figure out like well the time travel Oh you did? I probably would yeah

Okay well then we agree It doesn't make any sense it's goofy I'm not gonna yeah I agree with you It's just for me that doesn't it doesn't ruin the experience. It didn't ruin the experience for me either. I mean, like if let's say there was something more to offer during those points, then for me personally, then it wouldn't really, it wouldn't really affect me that much. But unfortunately, I was just frustrated because it was the only thing I could think about because I'm not really like, I'm not super invested in this universe like you are. I'm like, I'm really, I didn't, I haven't watched as many Marvel films as you.

And again, the part of the reason. why I enjoyed Infinity Wars because it was a great standalone movie and this just wasn't. This was really relying on you to be super, super invested in everything that was happening already. On a filmmaking level, Infinity War is a better movie, but I think

this movie is trying a lot more and it has to satisfy a lot more people. And I think in terms of what they were doing, this is probably one of the better ways you could have handled it. Yeah, I don't want people to think I'm getting so hung up on.

the time travel shit that it's like oh if it was more consistent than i would have given this movie a 10 out of 10 that's not how it works it's i just i i felt overall like the biggest uh the biggest issues with it were it's pacing it's its tone and just like it didn't it didn't really have much to offer me overall there are moments and scenes that i really liked but it's just it was just so slow and felt like a lot of time was wasted and unfortunately. I have those same complaints, just not as, like, I'm not as negative. I don't feel as negative about it.

I still like this movie, and I still think it does a lot of good things as a fan of these movies as well. I just, yeah, it's not as technically well made as a lot of them are. Not even Infinity War. It might be the worst, it's not the worst Avengers movie. Age of Ultron is. No, it's not. Of course not.

Yeah, what it does right, it does do very right. I think it does the main characters you want to see their ends of, like, justice. I think that that's exactly what any fan would want to see. The way they treat Iron Man and Cap in particular, that's like perfect. I don't see how it could be any more perfect. But the time travel stuff does kind of,

it's just like a little thing in the back of my mind when I'm watching it that I really don't want to be thinking about, but the film forces you to think about. That's my only issue with it. Yeah. And, I mean, I'm just a person that does not give a shit about Iron Man or Captain America, so. I don't think anybody should be surprised

I think it's pretty consistent with the other reviews I've given on Marvel I gave Infinity War Six really loved it give this one a five Captain Marvel was a four It's in between those two movies makes sense Captain Marvel I didn't even see Oh really You didn't miss much

Yeah it doesn't seem like I missed much from her in this movie Yeah, yeah Yeah And she just had a different haircut Also, five years later, right? So the movie jumps five years Like what happened with Peter Parker In high school and all that?

Is he still in high school? At the end of the movie he like hugs his friend But I was like, like I had that moment Where I was like, wait, shouldn't mostly be graduated? But it never showed whether or not his friend Also got Thanos So perhaps in the next Spider-Man movie

if let's say it takes place after those events we can just assume that everybody that is a part of far from home just got Thanos and then came back or maybe they'll address it maybe he'll have friends that are like five years older who knows well this new one takes place before

Infinity War okay I but whatever let's say whatever they do after that point yeah whatever they do perhaps they'll include that and be like oh half of my friends are like five years older. I don't see why they wouldn't. Yeah. It's still, it's just a weird thing to have to deal with now.

All these characters have either, they're either five years older or they've been gone for five years and they have to like adjust to the world. It's just weird. Did Hawkeye's wife, did her cell phone plan continue on for five years after she died? Maybe she used the house phone. The house phone. Because Hawkeye kept the house Okay, but the house phone was still

Under her name on his cell phone It was the He's named his house after his wife Because he misses her so much Honestly, I don't really want any more Marvel movies now It felt so conclusive Me too It felt like that's the end

What else is there to do? That's the thing Well now the end X-Men They'll probably do like a whole X-Men thing Yeah Next Avengers movie which will be a while from now, I bet. Good luck casting Wolverine.

Next Avengers will have X-Men in it. Yeah. Well, say, look what Avengers would be left now. Black Panther, Spider-Man, Captain Marvel, and... Guardians, Thor? The Guardians and Thor? I suppose that's okay with Guardians and Thor.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. It's a pretty good lineup. It's not the same, though. They don't have the core. No. I just fear, like, this film was that to a point in that final battle sequence it was like I don't think it can get any more grand than this like it's nearly hurting my head like in how they attempted it just how much shit is on yeah because like to me it was at its best when it was just Captain America Iron Man and Thor fighting Thanos that was the best like action to me out of that whole sort of sequence because as I don't care about just big armies I didn't mind it yeah but it was it was it was it was it was

It was nearly, it was very nearly, the needle was just about to go into, this is hurting my head, there is so much happening on screen. I'm sure you had flashbacks to Ready Player 1 too. But those characters all sucked and there was no buildup to that. Like this had 10 years of buildup to it and I understood who all these people weren't. So I was okay with craziness at the end. Like it felt warranted. I would feel disappointed if it wasn't anything but that. Everybody was edging for a decade.

Yeah. Yeah. I just get sick of like big armies of like just mined. unions with no personality. I always like, that's what I liked about Infinity War as well. Like the fight scenes with Thanos, they were all based around character, whereas just the Avengers fighting monsters,

to me, is not interesting. Which the end of Infinity War had that. Yeah, and that's the part I didn't like. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Although, yeah, I like this fight at the end better. Yeah, I like parts of it, no. I think we should probably wrap up our Infinity War discussion.

Is that fine? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I thought it was a good, payoff for, I've seen every one of these Marvel movies and I was really curious to see what they were going to do to wrap it all up. And I did feel satisfied despite my gripes. I don't think the pacing was there. I didn't think the, just the overall structure of the film was quite as rewarding as Infinity War, like the way they matched all the characters together and the action scenes and that movie, like in the way that were drip-read throughout, made that really fun to watch

all the way through. And the payoff took way longer in endgame. But by the time you did get it, I did feel like it was just for all of the main crew and the characters I cared about, so I gave it a 7 out of 10. I liked it a lot. I'll give it a 3 out of 5. Everything you guys said, there's lots of dumb plot stuff, but the character stuff,

except for Thor, was all good, and the conclusions of Captain America and Iron Man were pretty perfect. I can't imagine it being handled any other way, so. Good job, considering it's a 3-hour-long movie with 80 characters and fucking

Tons of explosions and most of this movie is CGI. It's well done. It's not a mess. It's not a mess, yeah. I just want to mention the music briefly. It was a little overbearing, melodramatic. They could have cut a lot of it out and I feel the movie would have been better or the same. I never really felt that. I thought that the music was kind of an improvement from Marvel films in general.

Because like with this in the previous film. The more emotional stuff. I felt like there was a theme I felt like maybe somebody at Marvel watched every frame of paintings video in the Marvel Symphonic Universe and like it's like you know what sure they did have a theme now

and there is you know it played and it got reincorporated and I was like oh this is nice That theme's been there a long time I know but yeah it's always yeah maybe maybe it's just finally memorable now now they incorporate it more for sure yeah more appropriately used

you're right about that they've now brought it to the forefront like this is the Avengers theme and they also also using the Guardians method of just using music that already exists Yeah there were some nice soundtrack choices Yeah that helps too That gives it a little more personality

Yep didn't hate it Next James Gunn Better than Captain Marvel Not as good as Infinity War Five out of 10 There's some parts I loved Some parts that frustrated me A lot of boring shit that I didn't care about

I'm not a big fan of Marvel It's not a movie for me It's a movie for the fans I'm not a fan So, there we go. There you go. We did it. We did it.

Congrats Marvel. Holy moly. And that's the last Stan Lee cameo, too. He had a pretty good one. Is it? I believe he's done after this. Yeah, that's the last one they filmed. It would be appropriate.

I don't think they should do anymore. I don't think they should CG him in, like, doing dance or whatever. Whatever they do with him. Oh, God, no. Speaking of intellectual properties that did. Disney purchased for billions of dollars. Star Wars. Nice.

But this is before they bought it. This is when George Lucas owned it. Yeah. The high point of Star Wars. You want to introduce it? This is the recommendation. Yeah, this is my movie. It's a better point.

So, spoilers for Star Wars episode three. And one and two, I guess. I mean. I think you end one and two. All of them. We're going to spoil all of them. The pre-gats basically, yeah. Yeah.

And the new ones, too. I'm sure we're going to talk about every single story. I don't know how much we're going to say about the new ones. But like back and forth, we'll go. Like, oh, Dark Vader is Luke's father. Like, we're going to spoil that. I mean, those aren't the new ones. Whatever.

So, three years into the Clone Wars, the Jedi rescue Palpatine from Count Duku, as Obi-1 pursues a new threat, Anakin acts as a double agent between the Jedi Council and Palpatine and is lured into a sinister plan to rule a galaxy. Is this just the opening crawl? Yeah, that's just the description on IMDB.

And the reason I'm reading it in that plane of a voice is because I feel that's the tone of the whole prequel trilogy. It's just like George Lucas fucking explaining it. And it's so boring. When actors are communicating in the movie, they feel like robots. or aliens. That's how everyone talks in the movie. It's so annoying.

It's so annoying. This is a problem with all of them. One of the points that I, to the best of my memory, was actually acknowledged in the Plinket Review is how Samuel L. Jackson is such an animated, loud character in every other movie that he's been in. He's always yelling and swearing. Like, that's his thing. In this movie, he's just like, the emperor. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just, it's just, So boring. He's totally miscast.

So boring. He has this amazing energy, Samuel Jackson, and he doesn't use it at all in this movie. He can. It's so bad. It could have been like a bounty hunter or something. Why a Stoic Jedi such bad casting? There are only two performances that are good in this entire trilogy. It's Ian McGregor and the guy who plays Palpatine. I forgot his name.

But those two actors are killing it. I enjoy them a lot. They both seem to understand what movie they're actually in as well. Yeah. And they really care about their characters. like Ian McGregor like you tried to replicate you keep saying Ian you know me

you know me in names like he was trying to replicate Algenus and like his accent it was perfect he really cared I think he's the perfect choice I don't know if his dialogue he's quite perfect though

he's trying his best to the absolute like garbage he has to say there are lines that he gets through sounding good though I think Hayden Christensen has some okay line delivery reason in this one in the third one.

I don't know. Hayden Christensen reminded me of Jaden Smith the entire time. I'm not even kidding. I was like, this is Jaden Smith acting. You just get the vibe that it was really awkward on set. Like, I, George Lucas is notorious for how bad

he is at directing actors, and it really shows. I think it's the, the biggest issue with the three prequels is the direction. They are so bland, and they just don't feel like people. I think George Lucas is like an ideas man, and he needs people to refine his ideas and present them in a way that's actually interesting to watch. And the editing, too, is just so boring.

Like, the dialogue scenes is so boring how they're cut and shot. Just everything is fucking boring. You know, like, I, so I, when I started watching the, I watched the third movie first, because that was the one that I was for sure going to watch. And I watched all three of them. Yeah. And I was about an hour and 20, minutes through it, I was having a miserable, miserable fucking time. And I was just like, God

fucking damn it, Ralph, what did you expect? Why are we watching this? Like, why are we watching? Oh, yeah, it's been long enough that we feel like, oh, yeah, maybe we'll give it a second chance. Well, there's a reason why we don't remember anything about them because nothing fucking happens, right? It's one of those. It's your Gene Dealman. Yeah, exactly. So now I don't feel any guilt about that whatsoever. Yeah, good. You've made me watch this shit. Alex made me watch Madagascar too, so you guys fucking deserve it. Yeah. Well, I genuinely wanted to reconsider this movie because this movie does have like a fandom

behind it. There are people who think this movie is good. Like it's actually George Lucas like honing in his skills and becoming a good director. It's a lore movie. Because we talk about George Lucas like he's a hack, but he's made good movies in the past. American Graffiti is a good movie. THX-1138 is a good movie and Star Wars is a good movie. And he's produced tons of other great movies.

Yeah. It's just he forgot, I think. I don't know what happened. He took an armchair director approach. He was very involved in like the computer animation renaissance or whatever you want to call it. Like I was actually watching a documentary on Pixar for my 2007 list called The Pixar Story. It was actually really informative. And George Lucas was in it quite a bunch.

And one of the things that I actually considered, because of watching this documentary so closely to watching the Star Wars prequels is that the first ever computer animated feature film was Toy Story and that was what, like 95? Right? That's four years before the release of the Phantom Menace.

So literally the first computer animated feature film got released and at that moment George Lucas is like, yeah, we can do that with actors and like... Well, he was... already groundbreaking in the same way Star Wars was exactly when Star Wars came out no one had ever done that before it's not there yet it's not there yet it's not right it's not right it doesn't work but he thought like like cgi and use it to make these new worlds and he didn't he totally failed the aliens look bad they look like fucking cartoon it looks so bad and like his his ambitions it was way ahead of what was the technology was capable of time yeah mm-hmm yeah what was possible by this one though by episode three I think the effects

get a lot better. I don't think they're great. I think they're inconsistent. They're improved. But they're, like six years later or some shit. Right. And I can buy into them.

If there was a good story. The reliance was so heavy on them, like the clone characters. Every single one of them is CG for some reason. It's like, why aren't those guys in suits? Yeah. It would look so much better.

It wouldn't look Asian horrible. And did you notice the, when they sort of superimposed people's faces on top of like the clone helmet, the bodies, it looked really bizarre. And the same for when some of the older characters are fighting, like Count

Duku at the beginning and the Emperor. They do this thing where they put like a CG version of their face over when they have a stunt double doing the action sequences. And that is aged horrible. It looks really bizarre. So you were talking about

like the pacing and the editing. And what I was going to mention is that when I was about an hour and 20 minutes through the movie having a miserable fucking time, I wanted to die, basically. My roommate comes in and is like, yo, how long are you through this movie? And so I press the button on the remote,

like the display button just to show like how long we are through it. But I accidentally press the audio track button, and it changes to the described video for the visually impaired where basically somebody narrated every action in the movie so that blind people can listen to it and get kind of the same. experience and then I just left it on and then I watched the whole rest of the movie like that I wouldn't have done it if it was a movie that I hadn't seen before like I I respect the podcast

but I've seen these movies already so I finished the movie like that it was a much more enjoyable experience not just because it was funny but because you you actually get a lot more context like they say what planet you're on every time it's like cut to this planet and they say every character's name like I and that's why I was able to watch the other two because otherwise I wouldn't have. I literally would not have because they're just so fucking boring. But it was so much more entertaining watching it with described

video and it was, I got to hear every character's name several times. I found it hilarious that Anakin's mom is named Schmee. Schmee. Yeah, Schme. Schmee. It was insane. I find them funny enough

without having to put other settings on like that. There's so much fucking wasted time. Like between every line of dialogue, the film is expecting that you'll be able to like soak things in in a way and be like, oh yeah, this is all really like purposeful. Like these long shots of just like character line, wait for like 10 seconds and then respond. And there's plenty of time that was filled in just by the described video narrator. And as I was listening to just how much he was talking, I'm like, holy shit, there is a lot of dead air in this movie. Yeah.

Yeah. The biggest, one of the biggest problems is just there's no tone. No tone. I don't know what I'm supposed to be. Yeah, it's tone deaf. I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling for most of it. Most of it feels like kind of an objective view of like the history of this galaxy that doesn't exist. It's a lore movie.

It's a lore movie for nerds. Right. No, but the opening sequence is a good example of that though, where it's got the jokey sort of droids in their goofy antics and them slipping over an oil. And then literally a few minutes later, count. Duke who gets his hands chopped off and he's decapitated. You know, it's just swinging from such extreme, like, types of tone and humor and, like, drama is so bizarre. It just really doesn't work. I like the idea of the beginning of the movie being more comedic and it gradually getting more serious, but it doesn't ease you into anything.

It's so dramatic in a bad way with that kind of, that juggling act that trying to achieve. Yeah, it's It's just It's It's a movie where Most of what's happening Is just dumb political bullshit I'm talking about the trilogy

In general, I guess But even the third one Like it's just Nothing happens until like the very end And I can see why people like the third one the most Because something happens at the end All the other movies It's like you watch through the whole fucking thing

It's like what Nothing happened This entire two plus hour movie mostly pointless. I wanted to talk about the opening briefly of episode three. Sure. Because Alex mentioned it. There was originally a lot more comedy in the opening. There's like tons of deleted scenes of like only one and Anakin having like this, yeah, this banter. There's a part like Anakin's talking to BBA8 or not BBA, I'm sorry, R2D2 on the radio. And like he starts speaking R2 D2's language. Like he's making beeping noises with his mouth.

Hating Christian. It doesn't make any sense. and it's fucking real. I'll put it on the Reddit. Anyway, but yeah, I just wanted to mention that. They tried to really play up the comedy, and I guess they cut it out later on because they figured it didn't work. None of it worked.

Nothing worked. Like, it's just so bad. I hate these movies so much. Like, they're the most boring fucking movies I could possibly watch, and I'm a guy that just watched through, like, John Dealman, you know? Like, I enjoyed that shit. There's nothing to soak in about these movies.

movies unless you're super super invested in the universe already and you're looking for all the lore like you might as well just be reading through the codex and Max Effect like oh I want to know everything there is to know about this whole universe but it's you can't just make a movie about that and be like oh yeah this is this is all the lore for the characters but then not have any sort of like compelling narrative to go along with it yeah the first two movies feel

mostly pointless is the thing incredibly like the only important thing that happens in the first one is that Anakin, they get Anakin and that Palpatine gets the trade route agreement. It's like the only two things. Those are the only two things that happen. It's so boring.

It's so boring. Because they're dedicated to just showing off special effects at the time. That's what all the Phantom Menace was. It was a platform for Lucas to show off his effects at the time, which isn't even impressive anymore. Did you like the pot race? How did the potterace age? Not well.

I was able to enjoy it with the described video narrator But that's about it Then subalba Now this is potriss Exactly The thing about these movies too I feel the fan community of Star Wars Have given these movies so much longevity

With like memes and making them funny They are making them more interesting than they actually are But like as when you just look at them as movies They're really bad movies I think a lot of these fans just yeah they more enjoy talking about them and and

the idea of them this was our generation Star Wars as well so it's our entire generation's nostalgic attachment to them I didn't even like it when I was a kid I was bored out of my fucking mind as a kid

I liked all of them when I was a kid I grew up I was a kid this is awful I did yeah I couldn't even get into it when I was young like I was supposed to be the I am The right age for it, I guess.

It's movies for babies about fucking space politics. But like, I remember when I was like really young, I guess I would have been like nine or ten years old. My uncle gave me like the Star Wars episode one VHS for my birthday or something, just thinking like, oh, he's a kid who likes Star Wars, right? I was like, I don't like Star Wars. And now I just think about it every day. Like, oh, I was so rude. But I was a kid, so I didn't know any better. Just like remembering how I didn't even like Star Wars.

at all. Couldn't even accept the birthday present properly. I feel bad. Are there any good parts to episode three? Anything you would say is good? I would say yes. I don't know. One thing I thought about every Star Wars movie is the sound design,

all the meaty, crunchy textures of everything and the sounds of all the lasers and everything. I think they're so great. I cannot even agree with the sound design. The score is great for moments. Yeah, there were moments in the sound design watching through these original prequel movies in a really, I have a pretty good sound set up and I noticed a lot of really clunky,

clunky sound design when it comes to like the, I guess, fully work. Like there were some really, really cheesy bad sound effects for like simple actions that did not need them at all. Like someone will pick up something and it's just like The sound effects. Like the design of the sound effects. Yeah, the design of how things sound.

Yeah. Like the ships and the guns and all that stuff. To some extent. Like Bubba Fett's ship. It's not slave one, but like Bubba Fett's ship in the second Star Wars movie, attacker clones. The sound design of the lasers and the bombs on that thing was fucking cool. It was just a bad scene.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And yeah, the score, of course. the only the only thing that I kind of like about the movies are like some of the shots in space they have like kind of like

a purple color palette I'm like that looks interesting and then that's about it that's about it I think like the concepts art like the designs of everything itself is pretty cool the planets

the variety of the planets and all the different creatures and stuff is fun I like the design of General Grevis I just think he's a bad character and I really don't like what the fuck even was he he just came out of nowhere in episode three and they never set him up for anything yeah yeah I like how all that you had to do is just shoot him in the chest nobody thought about that you could just kill him by shooting him in the chest with a laser pistol but all these jetties are just so opposed to using

any sort of long-range weapons when they would really help at any point you know beginning of episode two. That's part of the issue to me. It's just the structure of the whole prequel universe just makes no sense to me. With how the Jedi are part of this, like, they're almost like a private militia in a way that work with the government that also has an army, but they're like generals. It's so confusing the way they're implemented when in the, when the original movies, they're like, Jedi is all about peace and they're kind of like a religion in a way. But they never really come across that way in the prequels, they more just are like a military force. They go

out to try and end wars and they're on the battlefield in these movies and it's all about fighting. They're training child soldiers. It's like a weird mix. Yeah. There's a scene in this movie like hating Christensen and Sam Jackson are talking and it's like in this hangar. It's like military vehicles I think

in the background. Yeah. But it's in the Jedi Temple. So I was like, what the fuck? What is this? Yeah. Why is this there? It completely fucks them over when the army betray. them because they're already so entangled with each other that they just they sort to each other it's so stupid

maybe that was palpatine's plan like mess up the Jedi order by convoluting it with the military it makes the Jedi seem incompetent though they're supposed to be like revered you know wise people but yeah they just come across as these like stubborn unlikable you know

horrible people that don't want to accept anyone or change their ways or really enforce any of their ideals. They just kind of... And it's so overcomplicated too. Yeah, they deserve what they get. I feel like you could trim them down and have a simpler story that works better.

Yeah. It's like a bunch of Jedi characters that you're supposed to know, that you don't at all. And then they just kill them and you don't know who they are. You're like, okay, I don't give a fuck about that guy. I guess it's sad because they're action figures

that you might own. Well, that's the Adam. And he's dead now. Yeah. Yeah, if you've read the comics or read the books or have the action figures, then you know who they are. But I'm just watching the movie. That is the main issue with the prequels. There's no character drama.

And just having them fight on a volcano to me isn't, it's not payoff. Because you have no idea of Obi-Wan and Anakin's relationship. They should have used the first two movies to build up some kind of dynamic between the two. So there would actually be a tragedy to him falling. They have no. I think there was an attempt. I think there was an attempt at that. But George Lucas is...

They do this the show-don-tale-tale thing. Yeah. They're just like, hey, Obi-Wan. The dialogue. I saved you. The dialogue kind of fucking sucks. Man. So much gringy dialogue.

What about the... What about like the soap opera melodrama, like, love story that I think George Lucas was trying to be sort of Shakespearean with? You're so beautiful. Yeah. That's because I'm so in love. No, no, it's because I'm so in love with you. So love is blinded you?

I hate sand. Nothing is worse than the sand. It's rough and coarse and grainy and it gets everywhere. In terms of the romance, it's better in three than two. I'll give it that. There's no romance. There's no fucking romance in this movie. He also kills Padmae at the end, which was nice.

I don't know what she sees him. After watching the first two movies again, especially. I don't know why you've. I don't either. I don't see what anyone sees in anyone. She falls in love with him as soon as he starts explaining how much of a fucking sociopath he is. He's like, yeah, why don't we just force people to agree with the government? She's like, aw, that's terrible, but I love you. And then he just rides around on some fucking cow creature, like torturing it.

Like, ha ha ha, this is cute. And she's like, ha ha, teah, I'm falling in love. Like, what the hell does she see in him? And she, like, I don't know. Let's think about this for a fucking second. Like, she met him when he was like 10. She was already, like, an adult. Like even the actress Natalie Portman was an adult basically.

She was like 18 or something. She groomed him. Let's gender swap for a fucking second. How weird would that be? It was like a little girl and some some dude. You know? It's a little weird. Yeah.

And they could have just not left that, like they could have just cut out Phantom Menace entirely and started at episode two. And none of that would have been weird. Yeah. I love how nobody else ages. They would have more time to develop their romance too. There's no consistency between the movies. Anakin ages like 15 years. and everybody else ages two.

Yeah. It's like they do all the character development in between the movie. And the characters, they're never allowed to... They're never allowed to show any passion or enthusiasm for anything because of the weird, stilted, awkward places they're forced to interact.

Compared to the original and, like, all the emotional things they're put through. And it's like, there's just nothing like that really in the prequel trilogy. It's like, great. You, Anacom won the pod race. Great. What an emotional beat that was. Yeah, he got to be free as a slave,

and then he promised his mother that he'd come back and visit, and then he didn't. And then when he comes back, he's like, oh, she's dying right away, literally as soon as I come back. Yeah, yeah. Revenge of the Sith actually makes Anakin seem like a really naive, dumb character. Like, he's hanging out with Halpertine all the time, who's saying this really evil-sounding, suspicious stuff.

And he just doesn't question it until he literally says, Oh, by the way, I'm evil. And they're supposed to sense it, too. They're Jedi's. Yeah. And they're all hanging around in the same room, like, going to fucking business meetings and shit. Like, you can't tell that this is like the most badass Sith lord of all time.

You can't tell that this guy's like pure evil, you know? You're supposed to be able to know. I thought you had that sense. And that is the one thing that makes the scenes of Palpatine pretty fun to me is he's like the only character who loves what he's doing. He's like just loves being evil. Yeah, that's kind of... That's his character.

His motivation is clear. He wants to take over the fucking universe, and he's evil. I'm like, okay, I understand who he is. What is, like, what is Obi-Wan wants, and what is he doing? He has no character. He's got, like, no personality at all. His personality is just how you remember him. It should have been, I want to train Hayden Christensen to be the greatest Jedi ever.

That should have been his motivation from day one, from the first minute of the first movie. and then it falls apart for him. It's like, you can tell the story so simply and so much better. He's totally fucked it up. Talk about dropping the ball. What's crazy about these movies is like, I don't know how old you guys were when they came out, but like people fucking loved them. Like it was actually something that was like engraved in our culture at the time.

And like people were hyped for each new movie that came out. Like people actually really liked them. It's like, it's like the same type. of effect that you would see with people enjoying suicide squad, but instead of it just affecting a small group of people who are really, really into the DC universe, it was like everybody, because Star Wars is just way too fucking popular. And it's ingrained into our culture from the get-go. And as it came out, it was just one of those movies where it's like, everybody has to like it. To prove that you are a part of society, to prove that you can fit in, you have to love Star Wars. And this is the new thing

you have to love. And that's basically what it was. And this was before like, internet media criticism was like really, really popular. Now we don't see as much of that anymore. Or at least you see some imposing voices and people can be comfortable saying like, oh, well, somebody else disagrees. I'm more comfortable vocalizing my own disagreement sort of thing. But that just wasn't as popular of a thing at the time. And so everybody was just like, oh, yeah, Star Wars. You get to see Yoda doing flips. Why does he even use a cane? I don't know. But also, I really gave it a chance this time. Like I didn't walk into this one, again, wanting to hate it. I wanted to see. potential in it. Because after studying George Lucas and seeing all of his movies, I have like a new appreciation for the guy. But this movie's just fucking bad. It's just like you totally forgot how to make a movie. They're not even good like simplistic adventure serials though, like the original Star Wars was

where sure the characters are simple. Yeah, exactly. Because there's just no, there's no root in the characters. There's just nothing to care about apart from special effects, which now look bad. Yeah. They look terrible. The opening is trying to be like an adventure kind of serial adventure where the main characters go on the ship and have fun. It doesn't work because then immediately after you go to murder and fucking,

then you go to this silly scene where they have to land the ship. What a fun landing or whatever that dumb line was. Yeah. It goes back and forth. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's like stupid adventure serial for half an hour and then it goes to being this weird political love story drama. And then back to being a super... Yeah, Shakespeare.

It becomes Shakespeare. They're talking on like a balcony. Yeah. Oh, dear. What is this movie? What are you doing, George? There's nothing wrong with a Shakespearean take on Star Wars either. Just make the whole movie that.

It didn't need to be three movies also. No. Like, nothing happens. There's no through line on the trilogy. The characters aren't really different at the end, particularly, aside from things you're told that are now different. Like, his progression from being. a kid to being Darth Vader is so, it's just nothing.

There's no meat there. It's just the most obvious things where he's like, you can imagine him with his pen. Oh, I've got to make this innocent little kid into the most ruthless bad guy ever put in like cinema history in pop culture. How about his mom died? And then he has to fight his friend.

There we go. It just becomes like a brat. The entire time it comes across as a brat. The Jedi are the same And they don't challenge his character either Yeah There's no like There's no points where he's really happy

And then super down and then he goes back up And redeems himself He's just annoying the entire trilogy It's just a little fucking asshole Yeah And hating Christians and does not help He kind of sucks Yeah

He kind of really seems He's annoying and the Jedi don't enable him at all But then Palpatine does and he just gives in the Palpatine really easily. And there's no baseline understanding of like, they keep talking about like a prophecy or something like that. It's like you never understand what like the prophecy is or what it's even telling. They just keep saying, oh yeah, Anakin's important. So you should believe that he's important because you know he's going to be the other way eventually.

The one that will bring balance to the force. That's what they say. What that means? I don't know. They means balancing? There's not like an intro pre-intencing. It's everything seems okay to me right now. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, what was happening beforehand? Man. Needed balance. I'm curious though, Adam, which one of the three did you enjoy the most? The third one, because things happened at the end. Nothing happened in the other movies. They're all just really fucking boring and annoying. It's just, it's so irritating.

It's so incredibly irritating. And I was only able to watch through all three of them because I had described video on. And that made it terrible. You have no idea. I guess you guys didn't rewatch like the first two. but like you have no idea what it's like to come back to the first movie and experience Jar Jar again for like the first time. No, he's so much more annoying than you remember.

I see all of them last year. It's so insane. Yeah, I watched them recently too. He's super annoying. Holy crap. He's also like offensive. Like all of that thing is just fucking characters are offensive in different ways. But yeah, there's a shit ton of racist stereotypes, especially in episode one.

Waddle? Yeah. Gonna give you the party That fucking guy All right, it's gonna work on a me Owned money Yeah George

George, what are you doing? Come on What are you doing, George? At least Star Wars doesn't do that anymore No, of course We don't have fucking like racist Character characters Fuck

People like, oh the new Disney movies Are so awful, they're so awful Like yeah, they're not this bad I'm sorry. Like, Last Jedi might be better than this even. There are two good Star Wars movies. The first one, an empire. And after that, it's just like a shit show.

You mean episode one? You said the first one. You mean episode one? The first one is in a new hope, an empire. Yeah, a new hope. Those are the two good Star Wars movies, and everything after that is just, it's just fan fiction, basically.

It's just total, like, garbage, you know? I don't know. I like the, episode six more than I liked four and five yeah I wouldn't say return of the Jedi doesn't count as like a good Star Wars movie it's not as good as the other two it's not as good I still like it is yeah it's where it began I mean and then all the prequels and all the Disney stuff is really bad I enjoyed the sixth one more than four and five things actually you know it felt like there was more consequence yeah four and five everybody's just yeah it was it was really it was really a

breath of fresh air when somebody got shot in episode six I was like oh that can happen not just everybody is like the has the worst aim of all time their characters that can get shot holy shit do you think the prequels would be more bearable if they had the kind of production value more akin to the originals or what the sequels are like now probably yeah but like talking about redesigning the whole movie from the ground up as in because the reason the movie looks so bland is because it's all shot in like a green screen room, right? Yeah. If this movie had a

stronger visual style and like real sets all the time, it would be way better. I don't think there's any arguing that. The filmmaking needed some energy. I was baffled when we got scenes like Anakin and Padmay just having dinner and he's like

eating a pair. And then in the window, it's all computer animated. Like, in the background. I'm like, this is just a sky outside. You could have filmed that on planet Earth, and that could have been anywhere.

It's just the sky. Why does that have to look like a computer? Why did you seriously have to film this scene in a green screen studio? It was George Lucas flexing, basically. It was him being lazy. Yeah, it was partly him being lazy. He didn't animate the movie.

Wanting to revolutionize computer effects. Yeah, he just like, he wanted to revolutionize computer effects so that he could be lazy and sit in his chair in direct movies. Yeah. That's it. He didn't want to go outside. Yeah, exactly.

That's what made the original so revolutionary for the time. It felt like gritty and real and the effects were so impressive. But now it's just, it's just embarrassing. It was like no thought for the future of how these movies would age either. I didn't even think that perhaps in 10 years' time these movies might look worse because they'll be better, CG, and effects will be improved. It's just no thought but into it. And Star Wars still holds up, the original ones.

I mean, they're obviously, they don't look real. You could see the effects and the scenes, but it looks cool. A charming little more inspired. Yeah, they're very charming. A miniature will always be more charming and nice to look at than Subalba walking around, or Jar Jar, or a pear, CG pair flying through the sky. And they're just good stories, too. Everyone shows the George Lucas interview footage of him saying the story is the most important thing

Visual effects don't matter like he doesn't even follow his own advice but it's true He just forgot I had to tell a story these stories suck That's the biggest problem there's no heart Do you guys remember the opening sequence to episode two where Obi-1 just like fucking jumps out of a window at the assassin droid for no reason? Yeah That movie's really bad for changing character like motivations around like that should have been Anakin, that would fit way more into something he would do. Yeah, I agree actually.

Yeah. That's a good point. It just makes no sense. Yeah. And then it's like... Consistency with the characters. Like if the droid just like moved to the side, he'd fall to his death. But he grabs on. Anakin picks him up in a flying car. And then when Anakin's like driving the flying car or flying it, piloting it, whatever,

like, Obi-Wan's like, you're driving, you're driving too crazy. And Anakin's like, I thought you're like... He liked flying. He's like, I do like flying. What you're doing is suicide. I'm like, you just jumped out the fucking window and grabbed on to an assassin droid that if it wanted to, as it's carrying you around, it could have killed you at any point. What are you talking about? Your driving is like suicide.

I do like flying. This is too risky. What, you just did that bullshit. There are weird issues like that with bringing these characters like Yoda, for example, into a battlefield, like a traditional battlefield. like a traditional battlefield where I think it's in episode two where he's he's trying to command like the clones and he has some ridiculous like battle of genosis around the battle a perimeter create and it's like the most absurd way of trying to convey instructions it's it's so silly it's too far like

Yoda in the original movies it's just like this little imp and the whole kind of joke or irony of the scene is that he's like the most powerful Jedi but he looks like a tiny little swamp creature Like that's what makes him work putting him into a battlefield and then having him jump around is so it just breaks everything that was good about the character That whole fight sequence at the end of episode two where he's like fucking doing flips I remember before that came out I remember like every single ad on TV every TV spot everywhere They would always show Yoda doing flips and people were so fucking hyped they were like we get to see him fight like nerd boners everywhere and it was so insane like

People were so fucking hype for that. It's so goofy. It's incredibly goofy. Because the truth is, Yoda is one of the most powerful Jedi. He doesn't even need a lightsaber. He could fucking walk into a room and, like, kill everyone. It makes him seem weaker, ironically, by having him fighting. You're right.

It makes him seem weaker. Like, the Jedi, like, the lightsaber is just like a weapon the Jedi have. It's not, like, the focal point. It's not the pinnacle of what a Jedi is. And that's what these movies make it seem. Like, they just solely rely on the lightsaber. all the time and not the force. There's literally a line. He says this weapon is your life.

I think in the second. Yeah, right. They completely butcher the force and what it means and take all the mysticism out of it. I love how at the end of his fight scene, Duku manages to get away because, like, Anakin and Obi-1 are, like, passed out on the ground. And then Duku's like, okay, I'm going to make this gigantic, gigantic pillar slowly fall on them.

And then Yoda gets distracted. And Yoda's like, oh, no, I have to use the force to save them. him and is like channeling all of his energy and spends like 30 seconds like while Duke who gets away. I'm like, you could have just moved Anakin and Obi-Wan out of the way. Like they're a lot lighter. You could have just pushed them out of the way. Like, why'd you do that?

There's so much stupid bullshit. There's so much stupid bullshit that doesn't make any sense. The whole battle of Geonosis at the end is fucking awful. It all looks fake. It looks like a PlayStation one game. Yeah, everything looks fake at all. Because it's literally robots and clones. There's two armies you didn't know nothing about fighting.

No nothing about. That have no soul or any, like, it's just clones and fucking droids. No one, if all of them died, nothing would matter. Sligate. I think out of all three of them, episode two is probably the worst for me. It's like the most boring and then the only entertaining parts are just so laughably bad. Does anybody remember, do you guys remember the, like, that whole conveyor belt scene where they're all like basically? Of course.

They're basically just in a video game. like dodging all this mechanical shit. And then R2 tries to kill C3PO for some reason. Like he pushes him off. Like, why did you try to tell your friend? Like, why did you do that? And then C3PO gets his fucking head taken off. And then he's like, oh, C3PO is a battle droid now.

Like, what? And then he shows up in the battle as though it's supposed to be funny? It doesn't make any sense. There's a fan cut that someone did of the prequel to try and make them bearable. and that whole conveyor about fight scene is just taken out and it doesn't affect anything. A lot of stuff is cut out. Jar Jar is cut out.

Well, like someone took all three movies and edited them into one movie because really you could. Because most of them are pointless. I'd be interested in seeing that. And that's what they did. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I think the movie ends as the helmet is lowered onto Hayden Christians and that's where it ends instead of him going. No. It cuts out the no.

Yeah, all that stuff is awful. But again, it shows how much fans. how much they love Star Wars that they re-edited these movies to make them good like they want them to be good they want the story to be told well it just wasn't I kind of want to talk about that ending sequence

because so so like Obi-1's like you're like a brother to me but then he just leaves Anakin to burn to death like doesn't put him out of his misery or anything like okay you could just walk away

and then for some reason Anakin stops being on fire because that's how fire works. You know, the fire just magically goes out even though he's like halfway into lava. And then, so he's like a video game. He's so injured and has all these burns and like a missing arm or whatever, whatever. And like, they only put him in the suit theoretically

because that's what saves his life. But the suit that they put on him already has the cape because I guess without the cape, he's not Darth Vader. but it's like this is a medical environment where you're trying to like save his life you just have this this suit that's supposed to help him but you put a cape on it

just for some reason like why it's just prequelitis it's like they know all this imagery has to be in there so it can nicely lead into episode four it's the only reason I was reading actually that

George Lucas did plan to have a like a 10 year old hand solo in the movie on the planet Kashik being raised by Chewbacca. Oh boy. That would have been that would have been like sastrous.

I can't even imagine how terrible that would have been. Apparently the original cut was like over four hours long. Four hours. For this last film, yeah. That's crazy. And it probably was just the action scenes. Like there clearly wasn't any like character development in there.

It would have just been like actual scenes and dump comedy. Like a lot was cut out of that opening. A lot was cut out of the beginning when they go to Grievous's ship because it was so goofy. So we have the whole plot with like Padme and how she's dying, right? But she's not dying for any good reason other than it's going to happen because he

dreamt it once. She's going to die in childbirth, right? For no reason. Yeah. And I love that the medical robot, something that's supposed to provide some sort of like objective assessment, like it's a robot. It's supposed to provide some sort of medical assessment. and the robot comes out and says,

she's fine medically, but she's lost the will to live, so she's dying. And all I'm thinking is like, okay, first of all, that's a bunch of hogwash. Second, if you can tell that she's dying, then she's not fine medically. What could you possibly measure

to determine that she's dying and then also say she's fine medically? What, her heart's slowing down? Because that would make her not fine medically. What do you mean she's medically fine, but she's lost the will to live, and you can tell that she's dying? How can you tell she's dying if she's fine medically?

A lot of the film is like that. They just say things that they don't expect you to question ever. It's so stupid. It doesn't make any sense. There's that line in the Phantom Menace where it's at the very beginning of the movie where they're being gassed and they're sending the droids in. And the character was one of those fish people says something like, destroy what's left of them, even though they would have been gassed.

why would they send droids in to destroy what's left of a poisoned Jedi like it just makes no sense why have them say anything at all yeah I don't know what you're expecting Ralph I really don't know what you're expecting I was expecting us to rewatch it and think

it was a masterpiece really sadly that's not happened I wanted to give it a chance though and there is a lot to talk about here loads of people talk about this one in particular as if it's like the saving grace of the recals but I just I just can't see it.

I mean, it has one of the best pieces of music in it. The music's pretty great throughout all of them, but like, it is really a massive testament to how bad these films are that even with a great score, they're still the most boring,

terrible movies ever. I guarantee the only, like, emotional resonance people have with this movie is because of that score. It's the only thing. The only thing. that's like holding it together somewhat. It's the only thing with like emotion behind it

and like weight and the grandiose kind of Star Wars thing that maybe it was been going for. Nothing else has that. And it has the heart. It's the only thing with it. You were supposed to be the chosen one. Yeah. No.

You never really explained that, but whatever. Him being the chosen one. This movie sucks. One out of five. Yeah. Yeah. I'd give it the same. One out of five.

I was debating a two because it is better than one and two, but not. It sucks. Yeah, unlike Adam, I don't find them boring because I just find them so hilarious to watch. There's so much.

Just nothing happening. Just the memes. There's so much. It's just a total waste. I was in serious pain. I didn't think I was going to make it. You know, part of it actually made it more enjoyable for me was just picturing you

Adam sat there watching this movie. I'm glad. That was so funny today. Watching Hayden Christensen's bad acting. This is where the fun begins. Oh, God. Not an enjoyable story. Hit the buzz droid. Center eye.

My ratings for the film have not changed, so revisiting them was a completely pointless experience. First film, one out of ten, second film, one out of ten, third film, two out of ten. Because something happened at the end. Are you glad you double-checked? No. Now you never have to be written. to watch this again.

No, I already knew I didn't need to watch it again. Without your double short. Yeah, now we have, now we have like an entire conversation detailing why I'm never going to watch this shit again. But the memes. Yeah. It's not worth it. Go to prequel memes.

It's a Reddit page. It's very good. Okay. That's fun of stuff on me. Better than the movies. Yeah. Such. A frustrating experience.

They're so long. It is. Nothing happens. I don't give a shit about anybody. Kill off all the characters, please. I don't care. Terrible. In the movie.

Yeah, everything looks like shit. Dialogue sucks. Bad for. The music is good. Priorities are completely wrong. Bad and consistent tone or no tone at all. Epic. jar.

Yeah, Jar Jar was good. How about Jar Jar and two and three? He's barely in him. Three, he's only in the funeral scene at the very end, which was weird. Yeah, he becomes like a representative of Nabu. For some reason, the people who hate him. Yeah. Yeah, there's a deleted scene where George Luke could... No, sorry, Palpatine, like, thanks Jar Jar.

for letting him get into pilot in his third one. Yep. Terribly annoying voice, terribly annoying character. Every line sucks. One of the subtitles that bug me. That smells stink a whiff, he said.

Like, fuck off. None of these words are cute. None of them are funny. Yeah. He was trying to capture it. This is line. What he says? Step in the poopie.

Well, he steps in poop and he's like, ah, stepped into poopie or something like that. I remember that. I hate these fucking movies so much. Thanks, Ralph. Oh, that's what it was. This was your, like, answer to the previous recommendation of John Dealman. You recommended even more boring movies, though.

This was more boring. You're supposed to recommend something like fast-paced. But see, it shows like a woman in her house cleaning her bathtub can be a more engaging film than a fucking $200 million space epic with tons of characters and action. Six hours of it, yeah. If this trilogy was not connected to a universe that people were already seriously invested in and loved from the get-go, then it would have been about as successful and well-received as Jupiter ascending. Or Valerian or something like that. Something like that. Like, it wouldn't, it wouldn't be able to stand by itself, you know?

Like, it's not, they're not good movies at all. They're really annoying. Nobody would love them. There's no characters that anybody would fall in love with. It's all just people who want to see how the universe they already love started. It's like they want more context. They want all the nerd lore. And that's it.

Right. I think. And what you get isn't even good. Yeah. That's my interpretation anyway. before we move on I have one question for you Adam go for it is the Madagascar trilogy

better or worse than the Star Wars prequel trilogy it's better better it's better listen for who they're made for Madagascar's made for children children like it Star Wars is made for me the prequels were I fucking hate them so

yeah Madagascar trilogy was much better than the prequel trilogy. Damn. That's some shade right there. I don't think it's unreasonable. I think it's pretty accurate from myself at least. Yeah. I'm with you, of course.

Well, we know. Okay, let's move on. I suppose it's time for questions, right? Yeah. Okay. So if you want to leave your own questions for us to answer on this here's Sardonicast, head over to the Sardonicast Reddit, where Ralph will leave a thread, and you can ask whatever you

like, and then I'll comb through and find some nice questions. Let's start with one that I guess kind of fits in with this theme of horrible, unlikable characters from Cool Kid 1692, who says, is a single character enough to ruin a movie? If so, what are

some examples? I have one. Kat Dennings and Thor too. That is a good example, yeah. She makes that movie way more unlikable. I'd actually forgotten about that. I think I've mentioned him before. but Ben from Treasure Planet.

He's like this robot voiced by Martin Short who screams every line. Really irritating. Yeah, there's a lot of comic relief characters in children's films that wind up doing that. Like the polar bears in Balto were really fucking annoying.

In what? Balto? Baltho. Why don't I know what that is? It's a... I don't think it's Don Bluth, but it's like the same generation. Was it Don Bluth? I don't know.

Oh, that one. Yeah, I know the one. I mean, I've never seen it about in a poster. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, there's some really annoying characters. Eh, no, it's not great.

Yeah, I don't know. Mary Jane and Spider-Man almost ruins it. Yeah. We were talking about Dark Crystal, the main characters in Dark Crystal were pretty bad. He's so weird, main characters basically ruining a movie.

Yeah. Yeah. There's that, There's that animated Adam Sandler movie? What's it called? Eight Crazy Nights? Eight Crazy Nights, yeah. I hate that movie.

Yeah. Any others? Hmm. The guy from Clash of the Titans, there's like a little owl. It's like supposed to be the comedic relief. Oh, that thing. Yeah, I forgot his name. Juku.

Something like that, some alliteration. Can't go boo. I'm sure. Buzzboobo. something like that. Buzz boo. I'm going to look it up. I want to see if it's buzz boo.

See how right I am. Yeah. Boobo. Bobo. Okay. Buzz boo. Cool. Yeah, I hate fucking boobo.

Sometimes it's how the character accent is written. Sometimes it's how it's performed. Like there's child actors that can really bring a movie down. Yeah. That's true. Really depends on the movie. This reminds me. This is totally off topic, but I saw Lion King.

I enjoyed it. Nice. Oh yeah. Just so you guys know, I finally saw it. Thank you. Yeah, Jeremy Irons was great. Yeah. Yeah, right?

It's like one of the best voice acting performances of all time. Right? He was actually very good. Yeah, everyone was very good in that. James Earl Jones fucking killed it. Anyway, not to go off topic. Just want to say. Yeah, I've been reading to rewatch that.

Yeah, that's the thing, too. It's like that's an animated kids movie where even the comic relief characters, like they serve their purpose. They're not super annoying. They're great. Yeah. And they're introduced at a perfect point. Because it's like a very dark point in the story and then they come in and it's perfect. Yeah.

And they're genuinely funny. Yeah. That worked really well. Agreed. Could have been much more annoying, but it wasn't. Let's go to one from Cole Foxy who says, have you ever watched a movie and then immediately regretted that you weren't in the right movie? for it? What would be an example of a movie for which you'd need to be in a very specific mood to enjoy it? Like Lawrence of Arabia. It's very long. It's a great movie, but you gotta, you gotta reserve some time and you gotta be awake.

Yeah. David Lynch movies, David Lynch movies are like that too. I don't know if I've ever told you my story about a racerhead. There's so many people that are just so mad at me. Yeah, you did. Yeah. I well, because I wanted to, you gotta watch it all the way through. Yeah, because he removed chapter select. and I was like, okay, I'm tired. And out of respect for the movie, I'm going to go to sleep and I'm going to catch it again in the morning. And then I woke up and realized that David Lynch removed chapter selections from the DVD because he's really, he really doesn't want you to be able to watch it in any way that's not his way. And so I was like, okay, this DVD player has like, it had like maximum four times speed on my DVD player.

And I had to return the disc so I never watched it again. Not out of spite. I'm not like protesting against the movie Some people think I am I would love to watch it again I just never got around to it And it's like the fault of the director basically Well you might get a chance Coming up

Yeah I'd say similar things Kind of like first reformed pops into my mind It's a great movie Slow though And you kind of have to be in the right mood To be into that kind of Thoughtful slow plodding discussion type movie like that Yeah

Yeah And the same with last ever episodes movie too uh jean delman yeah that's one where i feel like you want to you want to be at least somewhat prepared for a three hour long movie and not go in like spiteful and wanting to hate it off the get go just because of how long it is yeah i this is exactly why i waited so long to watch uh tarkovsky's stalker is because i i wanted to make sure that i was in the right environment that there wouldn't be like roommates walking around while i did it and i had enough time and i was awake enough. I wasn't already like preoccupied with other things. There's sometimes where you

need to like be able to put yourself in the ideal environment to be able to watch something, depending on what your expectations are, I guess. So that would be an answer right there. Right. I guess I could say the Turin horse wasn't really in the right mindset to watch that. Saw it in theaters, uh, Vancouver Film Fest. I was still working at Best Buy at the time and I had invited a co-worker to hang out with me for like the first time ever. Like we, we had become friends. This is the first time that I'd ever invited him to do something outside of work or whatever. I'm like, yeah, we'll go to the film fest. Just

picked a random movie because it had the word horse in the title and wound up watching it. And I was like, oh man, like the entire time I was watching it, I was like more concerned about his experience than actually experiencing the movie because it's such a, it's almost like a Jean-Dealman kind of thing.

And, you know, from what I remember about it, not as much of a point. And also a bit more, like, I still don't like it that much. But I'm willing to give it a second shot at some point. But during that movie, I was like, oh, man, like, this is the first impression I'm giving to my coworker who I have no idea what his film tastes are. And this is just like some of the most like boring, slow shit that I could possibly be watching. Perhaps if I had watched it again and I wasn't in that mindset, then maybe I would have enjoyed it more. But I mean, from what I remember, it's there was, I didn't really have a Jeanne Dealman experience.

Like even even that movie, like, it stayed in my head. And I appreciated it after I watched it, even if my first viewing wasn't like something where I fell in love with it. I still appreciated its existence, whereas the Turin Horse just not so much. Okay. Let's go to one from Screensaver, who says, what are some of your favorite creature designs in any movie? Some creatures. Hellboy. Recently a new Hellboy movie came out, which is fucking awful from what I've heard.

But like the original Hellboy, the gear. one has tons of great creature designs including Hellboy himself but also like his sidekicks and the golden army was fucking cool and they're like these orc creatures that look cool The fun from Pan's Labyrinth That's a good one

Yeah I like the pale man from Panz Labyrinth That's a really yeah that is a great Creightly design Yeah Germo is great with creature design Yeah I also really like the Skexies from the Dark Crystal It's probably the best thing about that movie

The design of those creatures That looks great the bear from annihilation without spoiling anything xenomorph yeah anything HR Geiger I guess yeah lots of great creature design out there

the thing if you want to call that a design I mean there's separate monsters designs that appear in the film like it takes many different forms but like every single one is just so cool so effective and scary and bizarre and very very well orchestrated in terms of

how they did it practically. That's like one of the best creature design practical effects movie ever in my opinion. Probably the best. Probably for sure. Honestly. One that gets such visceral reactions out of me. I think it's my favorite horror movie.

Yeah? That's a lot of people's favorite horror movies, so that's a good one. It's a good pick. I'm between that and Halloween, which are like both John Carpenter. That guy knows what the fuck he's doing. Any more before we move on? George R. Binks? Oh.

The best. Top tier. I guess Dark Vader's not a monster. Like Jabba the Hut's quite a good one. Yeah, Jabba the Hut's a good one. Yeah. I guess. I guess.

That's your favorite one. Yeah. Well, with Jabba the Hut in it. Yeah. Yeah. Star Wars. Love it. I love it.

I'm a lot of the Star Wars. It's so exhilarating. Yeah. I really don't give a shit. It's contagious. Okay. Let's move on to one from the OEO show. What do you guys think is collectively your favorite slash least favorite type of movie? I interpret that as, I guess, genres.

I think we've had this question before, and we talked about kind of like the definition of what was considered like a chick flicker romantic comedy sort of thing. But since then, I've actually realized that. there's another that I should have included on this as my least favorite type of movie. Bollywood. Bollywood movies suck. And they're, they're so... Well, like, they have the same problem as, as, like, nerd bro comic book movies on IMDB,

where if you find one on the top 250, chances are it's just not really deserving of that spot. And just there's this hardcore fan base that loves it so much, but it's like, I don't know. not really my kind of thing and so like every Bollywood movie that shows up on the top 250 I try watching it and it's just so cheesy and bad and all this terrible

overdramatic editing and like acting sucks I hate the story I hate the characters I'm like fuck I want to watch a good Bollywood movie I enjoy it I enjoy that stuff a lot but yeah it's not for you probably it's not for a lot of people

I totally understand they're also very long, Bollywood movies. And there are usually a lot of different genres within one movie. Romantic comedies.

I feel like the good ones are an exception to the rule normally. You can normally bank on them being a certain type of annoying kind of movie.

So that would be my bit for least favorite. I was going to say mockbuster. Yeah, I was thinking about saying. You're just taking someone else's movie

and just fucking redoing it, a cheaper version. Yeah. Like trying to mark it off of it. How dare you? Like that's just offensive

and it's bad. Those are kind of funny to me. Like it's got an extra layer to it. I get more enjoyable. Yeah, they're funny. Sometimes they're funny. A lot of the times they're really boring and transparent. Yeah.

No, I'd agree with that. And then for, I guess my favorite genre would just be something that's not really a genre movie at all. Like if something's like incredibly unique and I haven't seen it before, you know? Can't really categorize all those.

Like what genre is the Holy Mountain? Exactly. What genre is that in? Yeah. Fantasy. dark comedy. I guess not. I'm just a sucker for science fiction, though, in general.

Yeah, science fiction, drama. That seems to be what we steer toward the most. Yeah. I love action films, and I hope to recommend more action films. Yeah, I'm the same. But you guys haven't seen. Yeah, I haven't seen a police story yet, but I got the criterion pre-ordered, so.

Nice. Cool. Looking forward to that. Yeah, police story's a good one. Hard boil? I haven't seen that either. I've only seen the bad John Wu films. Face off.

Yeah. When talkers. You ever see Win Talkers? That movie's fucking awful. It's so bad. It's like a war movie, but it's done in that John Wu style, like over the top, ridiculous. It doesn't work at all because it's a war movie. It's World War II.

This is not how World War II was, John Wu. Faker Deika has one for us. What is the most? Suffering that you guys have ever done for a video and did it pay off? Suffering. Not Shaq. That's an easy one. Well, just being taken down over and over.

No, the show itself. Fuck all that stuff. The show itself, agonizing to get through. Yeah. All that other stuff, that's like the, that's the cherry on the shit cake. The show is awful and, like, painful to get through one episode, let alone a whole season. I only saw, like, five episodes of it because I couldn't take it. Damn.

It really depends. Yeah, I mean, like... Does one not spring into your mind? Unfriended was a really difficult one to get through, not because of the film itself, but because like when I create my reviews, a lot of what's put into them is kind of come up with on the spot, especially the editing jokes,

where I'm like, oh yeah, this would be a great opportunity for a gag here and a gag here. And I was still using FCP7 when I was editing those. And basically, it was a film where, because it was all on a computer screen, like there was so much opportunity for just funny gags that I could put in and like taking other YouTubers

and putting them in the Skype call and all that. And the editing takes so long for those kinds of things. And so basically the entire series of that review was just like so many editing gags and it just took so long. And that was at a point in time where like I was like getting kicked out of my old place because the landlord went at the property back.

And like my channel was, you know, there weren't that many videos being posted on there. and I was like in the middle of the synicticky New York review and I was just like, oh shit, I got to get something funny out because people have been itching for that. It was a very stressful point in time, especially just because of how long each of those video parts took. So that would be one of them where like I definitely suffered for it. But now it's like people watch them and without that context of just what it went into it, like they're great videos and I'm happy with how they turned out. It paid off. Yeah, the editing on those is super smooth.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to like sacrifice. Like the faces on the footage are like seamless. Like you put Chris Stuckman in one of the boxes like in the Skype call. Like if you were not paying attention, you don't even notice it. Yeah, I really like jokes like that where it's like you can watch it again and maybe pick up on something else the second time. And I like films like that. I want to reflect that in the things that I create. So yeah, that would be one for sure.

Especially because they're long. They're long videos. So some people watch them a few times because they watch them like. they're like films or something and yeah so it's good to put like multiple viewing things in there for people whether they're jokes or like little analysis stuff

it's fun for me it'd probably be the the not Disney collection video where I'll watch like eight rip off movies yeah but I edited it within 24 hours because I really had to go away for like

the next couple weeks so I just drank those of caffeine and edited that entire video and once. Holy shit. Yeah, it was horrible. I'm coming up on something like that pretty soon because I'm going to be away

for a while in May and so I'm like right now I'm like oh fuck I got to get some stuff ready so I can release something before before that point and holy shit. Not looking forward to it but I've done it before so see how that goes. You have to do that again. Yeah, it's just painful

in general like when you do a long video on like something particularly bad You wind up seeing and knowing whatever this material is in and out so thoroughly by the end of it. You're just so sick of seeing every frame of like whatever it is, the movie or TV show. By the end, you just never want to see it again. Also, while I'm editing and I put in the footage, I usually notice like 20 more things and I re-record. And it just makes the whole process so much more painful. Do you guys have that same thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just keeps, it's like an endless cycle of that where you just keep. adding more in and like you see more footage you're like oh I got added more it's like an endless cycle until you go okay I got to cut this fucking video out I was I was mentioning to Alex that from the time that I watched end game and then just immediately started recording did that the entire day and then I passed it on to my friend demo who does the editing for a lot of the quickies they worked on it for like eight hours and then I woke back up and I started going through the rest of it added more stuff

took some stuff out and edited the rest of it together. And that whole process, like, the video was literally constantly being worked on, even when I was asleep because it got passed on and then I started working on it again. And that whole process was like 36 hours of just like one video of nonstop. So I didn't really get much sleep. So, like, that was a tough one for like a quickie, I guess. Like, it wasn't really, for something still in theaters, especially because there's just so little footage released of that film because everything's a spoiler.

And so there was a lot of, uh, Like, Damo did a great job making a lot of the animations and stuff that really helped describe what I was talking about with no footage available. It's just one of those. It's like a 20-minute-long video, too. I will watch it. Cool. Okay, let's do this one from Certified Hype Beast. Have you ever seen a movie so bad you shut it off partway in?

If so, what movie? I chose this one for a specific reason. because I've been trying to sit through that movie The Lorax. It's the only illumination film I haven't seen. And I think it might be the worst one. I think it might be the worst one. It's so insulting.

It's like got the worst structure of an animated film like that. I think I've ever seen. It's so insulting. That and minions are the worst. I think it's worse than minions. You think so? I don't know. I think it might be.

Yeah. It has that slimy. well the Lorax story is like a very anti-consumerism and you know save nature and then the movie like the marketing of it and the product irony so totally the opposite it's like diaper ads car commercials yeah that's funny illumination as a illumination as a company is is the villain in the movie it's hilarious yeah they are it's like Disney with the empire in Star Wars like they are the empire yeah yeah it's so funny happened a few times. I would say it happens a lot with me, but not necessarily because a film is like so bad that I couldn't handle watching the rest of it, but because when I'm doing stuff like my

yearly list videos, like I have so much shit to watch through, that I got to be selective. And if something is like, I've given it like 40 minutes or like I'm halfway through it, I'm like, well, no matter what happens, this isn't going to be on the list. So, and then I'll just skip through the rest of it and be like, okay, that's the gist of what happened at the end. Yeah, that happens quite often just because of how much content I need to go through to be able to find stuff for my most videos. I tried re-watching the condemned with Stone Cold Steve Austin just as like a like, oh yeah, I watched this movie when I was younger, but I don't remember anything about it.

And it's like 2007 anyway. So I was like, okay, maybe it'll be a guilty pleasure or something. Started watching it. Holy crap. Could not make it very far. So bad. So bad. like some of the clunkiest

camera work ever like everything's shaky camera it doesn't need to be and it's like it's not like just like oh yeah they didn't use stationary camera techniques and so it's just shaky by default they literally the cameraman was having a fucking field day just like

shaking around as much as possible when things that are happening are not even like that intense at all it's like they're trying to create the illusion of action by just shaking the camera as much as possible It was so boring, and I didn't make it very far. That's one. I've shut off a lot of movies.

On Netflix, it happens all the time. Netflix, it happens a lot. That's true, yeah. Because you're, like, oh, this sucks, and then you flip off after 10 minutes. I did that to bring it on recently. Nice. I shot it off like halfway through it.

The first Bring It On movie. It wasn't as good as the later ones. Like, bring it on four, five, and six are much better. Okay. That's such a funny sentence. I'm serious. You should watch Bring It On Six Worldwide, hashtag Cheer Smack. I'm good.

That's the name of the movie. I'm good, Ralph. It's hilarious. There's like an anonymous hacker dance group, like their anonymous themes, you know, and they hack it to their cheer competition at the beginning. It's so good. This is totally not related to the question, but anyway, that's my answer. I have one more short one

That I think would be good to end on From Jazzy Boy 3 to 7 Who says Would you guys ever let a guest Or the fans of the show recommend a film I've seen lots of people asking about this The fans want to do like one episode Where they recommend a film

We could try it out I think I don't know when Yeah we've talked about it before Yeah I don't know how we'd quite do it But I think I wouldn't be opposed to it Maybe we'll figure it out yeah we'll work out of date

and then you guys you uh you recommend something for us yeah I just don't want it to be something stupid you know yeah there needs to be some

some process like everyone's seen yeah well that's the problem is like if it's decided by Reddit upvotes then people are going to upvote the shit they've seen and if there's like a really great

recommendation you know but nobody's seen it then nobody's going to upvote it yeah we can try out I think the people on our Reddit are smart enough to like make it work, you know? Yeah, I've just seen a lot of people. Fuck it off.

Yeah, I've seen it too. I think it's a good idea. Okay. We should do it at some point. Yeah. Well, there you go. Those are some good questions. We did it, everybody.

We survived. We did it. Good job, everybody guy. We did it. Yay. Uh, who. Thank, uh, wait. We got a recommendation first.

It's bad to say, thank you. That's right. Is it me? Yeah. It's me, right? Yes, it is. Okay. So I'm hoping it would be a contrast to the Star Wars prequels.

It's a movie I'm pretty sure none of us have seen called Eyes Without a Face. It's a horror movie from 1960 that's supposed to be very good. I've heard very good things about it. It's not very long. It looks short and sweet. It looks creepy. And I'm excited to see what it's like. Okay.

Very nice. Let me look this up real quick. That's eyes without a face. I have actually seen some of this movie in movie class. Oh, really? They look alright? Like scenes though. Not the whole thing.

Yeah, it looks cool. Yeah, this is like an iconic movie. So, yeah, it's a good choice. Nice, nice, nice. I'm just shocked that something was recommended that wasn't already on my watch list. Damn, I did it. Wow. Hooray.

Okay. All right. Excited. Thank you very much, everybody, for listening to this. episode of Sardonicast. If you want to support the show, $2 a month, sardonicast.com, sign up for premium. You'll get these episodes early.

Also, patreon.com slash sardonicast. We'll get you the same thing. We also have merch. The merch link is working. We did it, boys. Cool. That's everything. We did it.

Yay. Woo! The Star Wars. Now this is where the fall. begins. Oh dear. You did a boopy. Yeah.

He's stepping a boopy. I don't need to watch any of them again. That's for sure. I guess I'll watch an episode. You should watch the making of the Phantom Menace. Have you ever seen that? Yeah, that's great. It's like the documentary.

It's so funny. When they screen Phantom Menace, like the reactions of everybody, when it's over, it's fucking hysterical. Because they all hate it. Oh, really? It's a part of, you can get it with like the Phantom Manus Blu-ray. Okay.

It's like on the disc. I have that now, so maybe I'll check it out. See if you could get it or watch it. It's funny. Okay. Thank you for listening, everybody. I wrote a discredit on a notepad.

Bye. Bye. Bye.