Sardonicast - Sardonicast #37: Dark Phoenix, Alien³

Episode Date: July 1, 2019

Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/sardonicast Website: https://sardonicast.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Sardonicast Twitter: https://twitter.com/sardonicast Reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/sardonicast Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sardonicast Discord: https://discordapp.com/invite/9vG73zS Ralph's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ralphthe... Alex's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/IHEOfficial Adam's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/YourMovi... Alex's Twitter: https://twitter.com/IHE_OFFICIAL Ralph's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ralphsepe Adam's Twitter: https://twitter.com/2gay2lift Adam's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/YMS Intro music by: https://www.youtube.com/user/anUnkind... Fanart: reddit.com/r/Sardonicast/comments/bj6kio/fan_art_planet_sardonicast/ reddit.com/r/Sardonicast/comments/bq2md0/accurate_height_chart/ reddit.com/r/Sardonicast/comments/bq9ln0/my_miis_of_the_trio/ Timecodes: 00:00 - Intro 1:56 - Ralph’s Audio 11:13 - Dark Phoenix (SPOILERS) 20:55 - Aladdin 29:36 - Alien 3 (SPOILERS) 1:01:48 - Q&A Adum's Recommendation for Next Episode is American Movie (1999)

Three, two, one. Hey guys, it's Ralph. I have to apologize because this week, once again, my audio glitched out. Not my fault. I'm just fuck with you. Syke. Gotcha. Wouldn't it be really funny if it wasn't fine anyway?

What if it wasn't fine, Ralph? What if you planned out this whole intro as a psych, but your audio messed up again? No, I would feel very bad. Yeah. I'm going to be on edge this whole episode now. Okay. So Ralph's edging. Oh, nice.

I guess... Come on. I mean, yeah, I don't know if... Should I just put the other intro in the bank? Do I need to do the other intro? You can't if you want. Yeah, I'll put it in the bank. That's its own intro right there.

I don't know if you can top it. It was nice doing it up for a rainy day. Cool. It was nice doing the intro. That was fun. Hi, Adam, from your movie sucks. Hello, I'm the nostalgia critic. I only say that because...

Sorry, Alex, go ahead. And I'm Alex, the other one. I only say that because nostalgia critic just made an Alien 3 video right after you recommended it, Alex, so they thought that was really funny. And I actually watched it. He's stealing our bit.

It was really bad. Like, the first four minutes is just like the skit of him in an office, like pretending to be the producers. And then there's like an ad for some bullshit. I forgot. It's like a stamp service. Yeah.

Like most of it isn't a review. Yeah. It's really funny. That's an massage goods. Yeah, I watched your jar media one on him. Yeah. It was really funny. There's a little passion project of mine.

Yeah. So Ralph, what happened last episode and some of the other episodes? Oh, it's usually because I record on my laptop and all you need to know is the issues fixed. Last week it was really messed up the audio so much so that I had to go back and re-record a lot of stuff in that previous episode. So a lot of it was actually me dubbed in when the audio sounds the best. That's like me dubbed in and like Adam and I thought it was hilarious because we know. But a lot of people didn't even pick up on it. So I guess we did a job.

Yeah, exactly. I do find it really funny. So basically, anybody that's confused, every time Ralph's audio sounds like shit was actually the most salvageable from the original recording. Everything where he sounds fine was a part that was so fucked up that we literally couldn't fix it in a way that anybody would be able to understand what he's saying. So Ralph spent a day or however long going back over the original take. And saying every line again that was so fucked up that we couldn't salvage it. So every time his audio sounds fine, that's Ralph sitting, pretending to be a part of the conversation. Yeah.

And you can kind of hear it in your voice. Yeah, you kind of can. You kind of sound a little like that most people didn't notice. Now that people know, they're going to go back and like, oh, I can totally tell. You have to listen to the episode again. with that information because it's really funny. Like right near the beginning, there's that part where like I say happy pride and you're like, whoo!

And just like, you hit the whoop in the class is what you re-recorded. You re-recorded your own excitement for something that I said. So now you can watch it with a new context. Right. I think you're probably the best actor out of the three of us. Well, thank you. Yeah, I mean, you can pull it off. I can't really.

So hey if your audio ever messes up Oh yeah I can get you to play me That would be awesome actually Yeah I'll play all three of you If this ever happens again you'll play all three of us That's the deal of us I mean yeah Do your best do your best Adam impression

There's two of you No not now I'm gonna save that for when your audio messes up Okay Damn I wanted to hear an impression And I gotta practice I gotta practice my Canadian accent Do I don't you know There's some words that I say Or it sounds really Canadian

I don't think that I sound super Canadian I don't sound like a stereo You have a very light Canadian accent But you can still tell I have a very I wouldn't even say soft Like New York Yeah exactly

But I don't know There's parts of America that Sound kind of Canadian-ish anyway Yeah Like the whole movie Fargo Yeah Minnesota Yeah

And I guess a lot Alaska, Sarah Palin accent, kind of sounds a bit Canadian. Or at least stereotype Canadian. She's got her own thing going on. A boot. Yeah. Yeah, it's so funny because, like, the biggest stereotypes for Canada when it comes to our accents, that's pretty much just Eastern Canada.

Really? Yeah, it's like, it exists in Newfoundland where they have their own language, basically. But it's still English. You know how Australia has has so many weird things like they call McDonald's Maccas and You know there's just a different word for everything for no reason. That's kind of like newfoundland Yeah, there's all sorts So new fees will be like oh yeah how's a perturcheonay and it's like what did you just say? It's apparently very weird to live there How do you say about then about?

About Just wanted to check because I've never noticed it and that's you Usually the one sign, you can be like, okay. They're definitely Canadian then. It's pronounced a bat. A bat. A bat. A boot.

Yeah, there's, man, I remember, apparently there's like some Americans that think that Canada's covered with snow and that we all live in igloos. hearts with snow right yeah yeah for sure i think that that's less of a misconception now that we have the internet i guess because you see so many like news i've never met american who thought canadians lived in igloos but no yeah like 10 years ago you have a lot of moose there right 10 10 20 years ago oh yeah we got bears we got moose we got loons we got beavers we got bunnies we got skunks we got deer

almost the I was like I was out at my parents cabin and I ran into a moose it was fucking terrifying they're huge are they hostile do they like attack yeah they could they're a wild animal but yeah but are they like deer don't fucking attack anyone are they like that or do they fuck people up um close to them i mean i guess moose are more aggressive than deer i'm not sure i have no idea i've never been attacked by any of them there's a few places where like Canada's a lot of cities are pretty close to like I guess general wildlife so like when I lived in Edmonton there were there were a few times where there would just be like a deer walking through the neighborhood I'd be like you're lost like this is

not where you should be just like yep there's a deer here okay I like Canada though yeah I visited once it's just Niagara Falls like that area that's about it I still haven't been to Niagara Falls. No way. But Canada's really big, so, I mean, like, Niagara Falls is further away for me than Seattle. Yeah. Like, or most places in America. It's a pretty nice waterfall, so if you want to see that.

That's where else ringing endorsement. Yeah. Yeah. It seems kind of touristy. It's a nice waterfall. Oh, yeah. Like, it's a big tourist trap area. There's, like, 3D simulations of the Niagara Falls and whatever.

Yeah, there's crazy stuff there. Like all these gimmicky Like shooting ranges with Niagara Falls theming But yeah If you want to just see a nice waterfall Yeah that's pretty much it isn't it Like see a nice waterfall buy a t-shirt Right?

Yeah A few days is nice That's probably the most popular Like touristy thing that anybody could name in Canada I mean Yeah I can't think of anything else We got

Because it's right outside of America That's why Yeah, that's true. Literally on the border of America. It's an easy trip. Most Americans just don't care about having a passport. There's so many Americans where it's just like, why would I leave? So Canada's right there.

I don't want to see what it's like. Why would we go there? Canada's so nice. Yeah, so is America. I don't know. There's so many different vibes you could get just by going to any particular place in Canada. I would want to see the whole world. Like, I have a passport because I love seeing the world.

It's so easy. You can just drive. You can just drive to Canada. It's not a hassle. Or you can ride a moose into Canada. Yeah. I can ride mees. Is that the plural for moose?

It should be. Mises. Yeah. There's a town in, I think, Manitoba. Oh, yeah. I think it's called Church. Manitoba where they actually have people that are hired to be on polar bear watch because polar bears are a big problem and they'll often wander into town and try looking for food and

maybe eat someone and so they have this whole unit that like is responsible for figuring out just like how to take down this polar bear and tranquilize it and then use a helicopter to airlift it back further north away from the town. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, because they can't kill it or kill him or her or whatever. I mean, they could, but it would be mean. But yeah, that would be mean.

And they're endangered anyway. They're an endangered species, right? So you got to helicopter them out of there. That's crazy. I don't know if polar bears are technically endangered, but I know that their species is not in a good spot. I don't know if they're actually on the endangered species list, though. Yeah.

I have no idea. I'll lock that up after. Yeah. Let us know, Reddit. Yeah, I think there was actually an episode of, I can't remember. There was like one of those BBC specials like Planet Earth. I think there might have been an episode on Churchill, Manitoba. I don't remember.

But you can find some videos on YouTube anyway. I saw a pretty bad movie recently. Yeah? What did you see? Dark Phoenix. I think you've seen it too, Alex, right? I saw it especially just because you did. Oh, yeah?

That's the only reason I was. I did you think there's no chance I would have seen this otherwise because Jesus Christ what a point this film yeah just nothing to say there like it's a second attempt at the storyline too we can't forget they were really done the same storyline before and that that was like the previous point where X-Men was like considered to be going into the trash do you mean with franchise like the original before they rebooted it yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly they did that the same thing that was just as lame then have you guys seen all of the other X-Men movies because part of the reason why I didn't see this one is because like I tapped out so long ago

as soon as I saw the trailer for the one that was very clearly doing time travel just to retcon everything and being like these are the new characters now like I just I just was so uninterested that I didn't watch. Oh, Days of Feature Post. Yeah. Yeah. I think that might have been the first one right up. Yeah, I thought that was a good one. That's one of the best ones. I can't deal with it. X-Men is the most inconsistent franchise, probably in film history.

You got some that are really great, like X-Men 2 and Logan, and then you get ones that are total garbage, like, a fucking X-Men origins Wolverine and Apocalypse and this. Yeah, I didn't see Wolverine. I think this is the most boring. Yeah, I don't blame you, because like some of them are total trash. But like that, that was it the one where they time travels

actually one of the best ones. Yeah. Because they got rid of all the bad shit. Didn't it feel so dated to you though? It felt like 10 years out of place to me. Like with how just like corny and kind of bad everything is. Like most of the performances are pretty bad. Everyone's kind of treating it like it is schlock.

So it is just a self-fulfilling prophecy and is schlock? Yeah, it was like in early 2000s. It was like Fantastic Four or something. Yeah. It was very dated, like, films or superhero films have done much more since, and I don't understand why this movie is so just, like, cliche and boring. There's, like, no interesting character. The, like, villain is so bad, like, the hot villainous force.

It's so incredibly bad, I couldn't actually believe what I was watching. Also, weirdly similar to Captain Marvel. Yeah. There was a line where Jennifer Lawrence is like, we should be calling it ex-women because the women are always saving the men around here. Oh, that's a line in the film. Like, it's so corny. That's great. Yes, it's so candering and corny.

And she looks in the camera and winked. Jennifer Lawrence is especially bad in this and you could tell she wanted to leave. And she dies. They show that in the trailer, so I don't feel bad spoiling that. But that's... That vibe is like with every actor a little bit. You can tell everyone's just there out of obligation for the most part. And some people are like coasting. Yeah, James McAvoy and Michael Fasbender

Yeah, they're just so talented though They can get away with like how bad the dialogue is Just because they're so they're such good actors But when it's like the younger X-Men They're doing their job Oh boy, I guess some bad scenes Bad dialogue like There's just nothing memorable about the movie at all

I saw it yesterday And I could barely remember a single scene It's so pointless Just a waste of time And it's like bombed horribly too It's made like 50 million on a 200 million dollar budget Yeah A colossal failure

Yeah nobody wanted to see it I mean some people I guess But like it never looked good It's not part of the novel cinematic universe It's not part of any of the new stuff Or you know they're going to reboot X-Men probably So no one cares about this one And the movie also looks like total crap

The visual effects and the cinematography is so bad Like all basically the entire way through it It reminded me of like those like divergent or those like young adult kind of movies that are just based on like throwaway books kind of felt like that to me it didn't feel like a big blockbuster

like they was used to it's just like stuck in the past I was I was seriously getting bored out of my mind about halfway in at first I was actually like maybe this isn't going to be as bad as I thought like there were little signs here and then I was like okay compared to apocalypse

which was just driving me nuts with how stupid it went. There's some things here. I could see how they could like develop this a little bit, but now it just gets worse and worse as it goes along. And by the end, people are praising the final sort of action set piece for some reason. For me, I was checked out by then, like hardcore. I just didn't care about anything.

Like, if you don't care about any of the characters, what does any of the action or like, especially with the villain thing. Like X-Men's known for having pretty good, villainous characters, like Magneto, of course, and, you know, mystique and all that. But the villains in the movie, they're like, they're so pathetically, like, elaborated on at all. They're given no explanation. Yeah.

They're very inconsistent with, like, well, all of a sudden, Charles is, like, this controlling, manipulative, like, leader, like, using these kids for, like, a political reason. I'm like, I don't know. Why is this a part of the movie? Since when was, like, Charles, this, like, manipulative fucking ass? like this. I didn't like that part. The film acts like there's more history than there really is. It was pretending like it was like an Avengers movie or something like look at all these characters you're really attached to look at this drama but you're just sat there like I know nothing about any of these people like a few movies ago they were played by a different actor like why should I care about any of you. Exactly. The romantic interest like doesn't work at all either but because you're just told that you should care like you've never given it's never shown an actual reason. And their backstory, her tragic backstory with her parents dying in the car crash or whatever, her mom dying in the car crash.

That was really corny, too. And that was all poorly handled. Spoiler. Basically, a whole movie was just, oh, whatever. This movie's total crap. I think that's in the trailer, too. Yeah. It felt like a remix of really mediocre scenes from superhero movies from the last 10 years all kind of strong together.

Like, there are loads of train scenes in superhero movies. Yeah, exactly. Like, there's not on a real thing. bone in its body there's a couple of moments that are like there's there's one in particular that I thought was kind of memorable actually where like I can't really spoil it but it's something to do with Professor X in his chair that was kind of neat but that's literally like a 30-second sequence out of a two-hour long movie so it really ain't high praise I'm really not surprised it's bombing

at all and there's still there's still another X-Men movie isn't there isn't there another one? Yeah, there's the new ones? What? I don't know what's going to happen with that. Have you not heard of this? What is this? Yeah, that's a production disaster, even more so than this one. Oh, really? Really. What's up with that? What is it? A lot of things, like, recuts and what's it supposed to be? It's supposed to be like

a horror kind of film set in, like, an asylum, I guess, with these mutants who were like X-Men. And it's about their, you know, seving each other and living together, or whatever. Anna Taylor Joy is in it. The guy from Stranger Things is in it. Kind of.

It's kind of like that. Anya Taylor Joy. Asylum. Yeah, she's in it. And the guy from Stranger Things who plays like Nancy's, not Nancy's boyfriend, like the one who wants to be her boyfriend, that guy. The one who got arrested. He got arrested and deported from the country or something.

Are you talking about Hellboy? Or is that somebody else? No, that's the show. No. younger goes. Yeah, I've only ever seen a couple episodes of Stranger Things. Oh, okay. I enjoy it.

I'll keep watching, but. Point is, they're fucked. And that's probably why they sold everything to Disney, so they didn't have to deal with it. Yeah, I guess. I mean, why not, why not sell the Disney for, how much did they buy for? What was the number here? I don't know. I don't actually know.

How much do you think Avatar is worth as a franchise? Like, more than that, I guess. I don't know. A couple billion. Yeah. I'm not going to watch Dark Phoenix. You don't have to. I don't.

It's not really worth it. There's no point. No. It's a terrible movie. Don't see it. I tortured myself enough with Aladdin. Of course, yeah. Do you want to mention Aladdin?

Because there's nothing else to even talk about with Dark Phoenix. It's a pointless film. It doesn't work for anyone. Because like if you're a huge X-Men fan, you're not going to give it a pass because you want to see the Phoenix storyline done justice so that'll annoy you

and then people who like aren't attached to X-Men at all are just getting a lame like action movie that is so tame compared to everything else we're getting because we're so spoiled now with films like this that the mediocrity of these X-Men movies is like unacceptable and no one cares anymore

so this is what it gets I gave it one and a half stars out five oh one and a half four A couple scenes here and there I was like, that's kind of cool. I always like seeing Magneto do his thing. Okay. Well, I mean, I don't really have much to say about Aladdin

other than it was exactly what we thought it would be. It was just a soulless soulless cash grab where everything was worse. Yeah, I watched your review, and you sounded genuinely upset by this movie. Yeah, because Aladdin is a movie that I like, the original. Mm-hmm. And this hasn't happened to me.

It's the first one I care about, too. Exactly. It's like now we're getting into that territory with these shitty Disney live-action remakes. Somebody posted a really interesting comment on the video. Up until this point, I had assumed, for the most part, that the entire, like, dark trend of Disney was more or less to kind of give the impression, like, oh, this is for adults, too. Like we want a dark and gritty tone, so it has to be dark visually. But somebody posted a comment saying that it's more likely because it hides imperfections in the animation,

in the computer animation with like shading and rendering and all that. Yeah. Yeah, that seems like a much more reasonable excuse for it, although it's still stupid. Like the entire movie is mostly computer animation for all of these new shitty remakes. And so instead of just spending more money, it's just taking the, lazy approach and making everything really dark. That's why the new Lion King looks really dark. They just want to hide the imperfections of their animation.

Which is kind of unfortunate. It's so weird, because that's a problem they created. If they're making an animated movie, they could plan around that and that wouldn't be an issue. Yeah, so it looked fine. Everything is the laziest approach ever. It's just... It's so strange that the issues they create for themselves by going this direction. Yeah.

I'm kind of interested just on a concept level how the film's even going to work like how are you supposed to empathize with these characters I just I just can't picture it yeah makes no sense to me They're not characters anymore all they have to do is play this the famous songs in the trailer and then everyone's gonna go see it Yeah, exactly Aladdin did very well exactly It's the same thing fourth highest grossing movie of the year or something Yeah, so there if they want to make money. I guess they're doing it right

but I don't know if they spent a bit more yeah that's all they give them a fuck about it could make even more money I guess I don't know most people seem to really enjoy it it's got like a what 7 point something on IMDB people like it yeah

and I don't know why Disney paid them if a Disney IP is attached then it just gets special treatment I'm afraid that's just how it works people are already in love with it they will watch anything Disney before the movies even started the film itself doesn't have to do anything because the characters are already in people's minds from the original. So they just project those existing characters onto these empty voids that are now in the

remakes. Scar is just some or sorry, Jafar is just some guy. Scar is gonna be just some guy. The parrot is just a parrot. Everybody's character is just completely removed from them. The genie is just Will Smith now. The genie's probably the worst part Because that doesn't work in live action at all

I don't think Nothing about it does it That's what bugs me so much From the trailer that looks like total crap They release the clip of the I think it's okay They release the Prince Ali like song On to YouTube and I watched it

Yeah It's like That it's so embarrassingly bad All the auto tune Yeah The flare of the scene It feels so flat and like there's nothing grand about it at all.

A big empty void. Yeah. It's so sad. When you think about the energy in life that was in the original, and that is the reason it was good. It's for that exact reason, the animation and everything that provides is like a storytelling tool. Let's take that away. And then what are you left with this?

Exactly. You've got Aladdin now with Will Smith. Great. Yeah, one out of ten. There's one more thing I want to talk about before we get into a, the film discussion recommendation discussion so Alex you're you're on the new who killed Captain Alex Blu-ray yeah no it's an honor they emailed me a while ago oh they asked you permission yeah yeah okay I knew about it I just had no idea when

it was releasing they asked and I was like yeah of course please I'll give you whatever you want that's hilarious happened yeah okay great no I wasn't sure that they actually asked permission I thought that they just downloaded any YouTube that was, or YouTube video that was talking about their movie. No. That's really cool. Yeah, that might have been a bit more, yeah.

No, yeah, anything to do with that movie I really like. Was there ever any kind of like hostility from them after your review or no? None. No? Okay, good. No, they liked it because it's one of the very few from that series where I was really positive. I really liked that movie, so there was nothing really to get mad about. Yeah, I really like that movie too

I watched Bad Black Which is on the same Blu-ray It's very similar I've seen that one yet Yeah It's more of the same I gotta watch more of their movies

Yeah, it's a good Blu-ray Who Killed Captain Alex on YouTube Which is hilarious of course One of the greatest actress films of all time I think who killed Captain Alex is probably the better of the two But Bad Black is still pretty good I'm satisfied I've got mine now

I can just stick to mine Who did kill Captain Alex It's a movie about you I think it's kept a secret isn't it Yeah I don't remember much of the plot I remember a lot of the effects I remember a lot of the kung fu I remember a lot of kicking and shooting

I remember VJ Emmy Hitting Oh how could you forget him Yeah there's another feature that they put on the Blu-ray under the fan videos section on the disc and it's titled Cool Cat Saves Wakaliwood

and it's somebody's somebody made a YouTube parody of Who Killed Captain Alex by taking clips of VJ Emmys, I guess exclamations during the film and putting them over top of a scene in the Cool Cat movie and they

stuck that on the place. That's amazing. Yeah. You can find that on YouTube also even though I think the title is slightly different but you can find it searching that same thing. Cool cat saves what Hollywood. I was like, I did not expect to see cool cat on this Blu-ray, but

it hasn't. They know their audience. I guess there's just so much crossover that somebody would make a cool cat who killed Captain Alex parody. So stupid. Highly recommended who killed Captain Alex 10 out of 10

from all of us, I think. It's the best movie we've talked about here so far. Yeah. out of all these multi-million dollar Hollywood blockbusters. It was maybe like 20 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. Well, one's coming from a genuine place, right? Yeah.

Aladdin? Yeah, that's exactly the movie I was talking about. The most genuine out of all of these. It came from someone's soul. They had an idea they wanted to communicate. Did you guys... Well, the original Aladdin, I guess. Did you guys know that the new Aladdin's directed?

by Guy Ritchie? Because I learned that like 30 times and then forgot it 30 times. Yeah. But he's responsible. I feel the same way. I feel like people told me a few times and then I forgot. Yeah. Guy Ritchie.

Certainly doesn't seem like one of the movies. I bet it had none of his trademarks really. Just like all of these movies just have like no vision. There's no point in having a director there. Like they don't they don't have any say. They don't have any control over the product apparently. They're all going to look the same. Well, you need someone to direct the actors.

and give them, like, motivation. Just have a robot do it. That's fine. Have Will Smith do it. There you go. Have a CGI blue Will Smith to it. Yeah. That's the future of film.

It's working great so far. Yeah. Did we want to move into our discussion of the recommendation? It's fine by me. Let's do it. Let's do it. What's this movie, Alex? It was my choice this time.

And I chose Alien Thirteen 3 or Alien cube as I like to call it because of where they put the three. Yeah, what the fuck is with that? Yeah, I still to this day have no idea what the cubed thing is all about. It's cool. Is it just 90s edginess? Yeah, I think that's literally it. They wanted to do what James Cameron did with the like putting the S at the end of aliens.

Like, we're not going to be like a normal sequel. Oh, man. I assume it's something like that. They should have the title with that S90s symbol at the end, aliens. At least the three wasn't like It didn't replace the E in Alien That would have sucked Allie 3

Like a classic 4 movie Yeah One of those That would have fucking stunk So I'd actually prefer the cubed But But yeah The film's directed by David Fincher

His first film Um So weird It's kind of It's very odd Um But the reason I pick this film Is partially because

I wanted to see if its reputation was fair, but also partially to revisit it after seeing, you know, all of David Finch's films that have been released in the past 20 years since. And just see if we think the film's better or worse or the same as we remember it. I suppose I should briefly outline what it's about. I'm sure most people know, but the basic premise is that after the events of aliens, It's a very direct sequel. The ship that they were sort of traveling on,

crashes on like a prison planet. Paul Joseph Watson? What? That's his Twitter handle. It's like prison planet. That info worldless guy. Yeah. Maybe this inspired him.

But yeah, it's usual alien affair, very dark, depressing. There are elements of the story that really upset fans. and it's probably the reason the film is regarded as like one of the worst alien movies or at least the one where it was like it marked the point of the death of the franchise for a lot of people. How do we feel? How do we, let's start with how we felt before. We've all seen it before.

Like how did the film sit in your memory? Was it better or worse or how do you feel? So I watched it when I was, I don't know, 15 or something, like youngish. I was going through all the alien movies. And I remember watching it, and there's a couple points that stood out to me. But it never really lingered as a bad memory in my mind. I never really remember hating it or disliking it even. But it's another one of those things where I also didn't remember much about it at all.

And usually when that kind of thing happens and I revisited it, it if it didn't leave a huge impression on me and I barely remember anything about it, it's like, oh yeah, it's because it was really, really boring. It's because it was really boring and that's exactly why. So now I'm an adult and I can definitively say, yep, it was boring. That's how I feel about it. Even though I watched a different cut, but I just, I couldn't even tell you what the differences were in the two cuts except for like one thing.

Okay. I had seen the theatrical cut before, but it was a long time ago. So, again, I didn't remember anything about it. And, like, the extended cut, I guess, from what I know, it develops the characters a bit more. So they're not, like, a bunch of just bald guys who get killed off or whatever. But I thought the movie was kind of bland. It wasn't nearly as scary as the original alien, which is more what it's going for, more so than, like, aliens with the sillier. Not sillier, but definitely like faster-paced action tone.

This is way more somber and like dark and horrific. And it didn't really work aside from a few moments, which I thought were really great. By the way, everybody, we're talking about the assembly cut specifically and also spoiler warning. It's also called extended cut. Yeah. Like it's on Amazon. Also, for some reason, the cut I saw, the version I saw, the sound mix was really fucked up. Oh. And I looked it up. And apparently this is like an officially released

version where they just really fucked up the sound mix. So some of the dialogue is really quiet for no reason when people are yelling. It was very strange. I thought something was wrong with my TV. So that kind of took me out of the experience. Apparently that was something to do with when they were going back into like all the old films for that. It was in 2003, they released that like quadrilogy with all the movies. So they were like touching them up and stuff. It was around then. That's exactly what I have. I think all of their base like footage and audio was so low quality. They actually got a bunch of the actors in again to do like ADR.

Oh. Because the quality was so bad. That's why it's all over the place. And that's one of the weirdest things about the movie is that like technically, there's loads of stuff wrong with it, which is like for a blockbuster is, you want to say rarer? Like for some of the stuff that happen in the movie, like, the big glaring one, of course, are the visual effects of the alien.

They decided to go. Terrible. Or like a puppet. It's a puppet, right? Yeah, it's like... And like a blue screen or something probably. Yeah, it's composed. It doesn't feel a part of the environment at all.

Right. Which is a big issue. I was shocked because Fincher is known for his visual effects. Like that's the best thing about it is that they're always seamless. Even in his like music videos and stuff he did before. But this just looked like total crap some of it. The practical stuff looks great. The sets of big doors and the ships.

That was awesome. It's just... A lot of it looked great. Just the alien itself was the worst effect, which is the biggest problem. Yeah. Is that the xenomorph wasn't scary? That's not an effect that you want to have like unrealistic or cheesy or fake. It looks very corny.

Yeah. I mean the, what's his name? The android guy? Bishop. The effect on him when she's like reviving his body or whatever and talking to him. Like those were I guess animatronics or something. That all looked great. Yeah, that looks super cool.

I really enjoyed that. Yeah. Yeah. The planet itself and yeah, that looked cool too. Yeah, but the alien. The xenomorph was not scary. Yeah. Yeah.

It just wasn't scary. See, for me, I really enjoyed the first act. I really liked how it was presented, how kind of slow plodding and moody it is and how they took time to kind of, like, yeah, they like establish the setting very well. and like they establish the tone immediately by killing off two of the major characters from the previous film yeah that's quite a point of contention i think with people but i personally i used to hate that when i first watched the film but i i think it's great now i think it really works for that character that fits with her whole journey of like she's just like chased by this demonic force and it kind of works best in this movie because of the like religious kind of thing

they're going for with her just non-stop like battle with this creature and it's this is like her coming to terms with it and finally overcoming it and accepting her death is basically what the movie's about so it's like a really dark one there's very little hope in the movie at all like it's all about it's like anti corporations and has all the similar themes that like all the previous alien films have before but i guess fincher just loves that stuff doesn't it just they're really dark, dank, depressing kind of tone. Dank. Yeah. Well, there's like an alien literally inside of her at some point, just to show like, she's never going to get away from this thing. And she's given a choice at the end.

Like, we'll take it out of you when you'll be free of it forever, but she chooses to die with it, you know, to save everybody. And that's a fucking cool ass arc. And I love that part of it. I think that, like, in terms of directing, I think it's pretty well done. Like, David Fincher's a good director and you could tell even in this because all the acting is really good and it's really well shot it's just the story itself yeah absolutely this when charles dance charles dance is death he's one of the best characters too but his death was really effective i thought that whole scene is probably the best scene in the movie so much of it i probably is the best shot too bland no you're not wrong i i i brought up the first act and how much i liked it because basically once the alien

gets involved big time and takes over the plot and everything kind of comes to a halt characters stop being developed and it just becomes like a repetitive let's deal with this alien type thing and I like the idea in theory of them having to fight this almost unstoppable force with nothing because it's established that it's like a sort of abandoned well not abandoned but old disheveled kind of facility they're in they've got no weaponry or of things so that that's kind of an interesting idea to put these like almost primitive ideas up against this hyper threat to see what happens yeah but it's just too elongated like there's no crescendo of like action or build up it just it just kind of keeps fizzling yeah until she dies at

the end that's that's when it really falls apart is just those the endless sequences of them like running through tunnels and like being chased by the alien which looks rubbish by that point yeah And those perspective shots don't feel realistic. You know, you're supposed to believe that it's the alien's point of view as chasing them through the hallway. It's like, no, this is just the camera, you know. Yeah, but they're able to outrun the alien and at points they like fight them off with their, like just hold them off with their arms. It's a really sloppy sequence.

Yeah. Right. And like the old, like the original movie, the alien wasn't like that at all. The xenomorph wasn't like that at all. I keep calling it an alien. It's fine to call it malian. Like, it would just pop up. Yeah, I guess it is.

But it is the xenomorph, you know. Sure. And then, but it was so intimidating and like it would just pop out of the wall and then take you away. And now it's like fucking running around and you see it in CG. It just looks very corny. Yeah, there was always that kind of element in the original film because it was more of a, you know, it was more of a horror movie where it's like it could just pop out at any moment and grab you in an instant. but this one they always kind of seem to

I don't know they always seem to know where it is after a certain point yeah and they had it trapped in a room for a while and then some crazy guy let it go he wanted to see the dragon again yeah that was a weird plot device you should probably mention like one of the reasons why this film is so

like bizarre and all over the place yeah it's because so it's kind of a long story but the short version is the studio set a release date for a film that had no script and was like a loose concept so then like they started building sets for a film that had like no concepts done it was just like a vague stories and it was passed from writer to writer there are i think it went to a total of like seven writers by the end of it oh wow only like three accredited but it's always a good sign person to

person and like the original concept do you guys know anything about what the original like idea for the movie was going to be. It is bizarre. Like the guy, what was his name? A writer called, his last name's Ferguson. I can't remember his first name.

Craig Ferguson. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was like a weird snow white and the seven dwarfs kind of like story with like Peter Pan thrown in. So Ripley was going to be like

a woman who fell from the stars and lands on a planet full of monks. But the planet was like, made out of wood. So it was like a wooden planet. Oh, yeah, that part I saw. The concept art for the wooden planet. Yeah.

So of course from there, everyone was a bit like, like the producers and everything were like, a wooden planet. What? Like, there's like a disconnect there. When you think of like the alien kind of architecture and what you think of when you think of that series, like imagery like that is not what comes into your mind. So you can see why that started the downward. spiral that happened with the film.

And it's also why there are loads of, like, remnants of the original idea, like, instead of it being this wooden planet, they turned it into a prison planet. And instead of it being monks, there are prisoners with the barkers and the back of their heads and everything. There's like a religious element to it. They all have this, like, thing. They do these rituals, but, yeah, it's very brief. HR Geiger was still alive at that point.

You'd think that they could just get some consultation from him or some new design. or something. Yeah. I think the xenomorph is slightly different in this one. It's always slightly different. I guess the idea is...

When it's practical, it looks good. Like, there's a close-up of like the xenomorph and Ripley in one shot. Yeah, that's like an iconic shot taken from an otherwise bland movie. I wish they had just used that more

and not the shitty composited fraud puppet. Yeah, that just did not work. It's so weird. So bizarre. film so bad. In terms of like the different cuts, one of the things I noticed was,

I remember in the first time I watched it, instead of like a bull, instead of an ox, it was like a dog that got bit by the alien. In the theatrical, it's a dog. Yeah, why? Why is,

why did they shoot two different animals? Like, for what purpose? In the assembly cut, they even left a shot in where one of the characters is calling the dog. Yeah.

in one of the tunnels. So there's not even a cohesion there when they changed the story. Yeah. That was odd. Yeah, I don't know why they would change that. I don't know what the logic was, though, because the creature still looks the same.

It's not like it's bigger because there was like an ox, which is a bigger animal, so you can imagine it being like a big hulking thing compared to like a little dog. The dog makes more sense to me, but whatever, it doesn't really impact it that much. It's just like what a pointless change. change, like a George Lucas change.

Like adding in the monkeys' tear checks. Yeah. Yeah. At least you get the choice of being able to choose what cut you want here. Yeah, exactly. So apparently for this quadrology set, each of the directors were contacted to, I guess, make some sort of an extra cut. So including the director of Amelie for the fourth wife. Yeah.

And David Fincher was the only one who responded and said, no, fuck you. I'm divorced from your shitty movie. He's disowned this song. He hates it more than anyone, apparently, so. Yeah.

He was just pushed around by the production company because he was a first-time director. He had no clout, so they could just use him for what he was worth. And they reshot a lot of stuff. Yeah, that's when he quit, apparently. It was after the reshoots. He just had.

enough yeah I could I can totally empathize with him just being like no because like when you're pushed around and bullied on a project that you actually care about yeah and then it turns out like shit it's like well you just let me do what I want but who knows I don't know how much of it he's responsible for I don't know how much of the badness of this film is his fault or the studio's fault like whose idea was the blue screen puppet no did he want want to do it differently. I want a director's commentary.

Yeah. No, exactly. I would be very curious to hear that. Mm-hmm. Of course, he's never recorded one, right? Of course. And even if he did, they probably wouldn't allow it on the Blu-ray. He should do his own and just really sit on the internet.

Be like a fucking giant roast session. I think he just wants to forget about it. Considering his backstory, I'm amazed at how coherent the film is. Like, take, for example, like Justice League, which is one of the nearest to us in terms of releases film that was like notorious for its studio interference.

That film had like no voice, no personality, no character. Fincher is such a strong style. At the very least you can see oh yeah, he probably could actually do

like an incredible science fiction movie if he was given free reign to do it. And I think if he was given the time, it could have been like a really great film if he was given time to truly,

and he was trusted he could have really flexed and come out here with a great film just like the original alien was for Ridley Scott Yeah It was also his first film So he probably just made mistakes

That you know The first Like the puppet You can tell Yeah it feels a bit more experimental Like some of the way Some of the dialogue is shot I found kind of odd

I couldn't tell if it was like The editing or what it was It was too frantic Too quick and some of the scenes where loads of the characters were a big group of them which is already kind of confusing to the eye because

they're all bald males that are all like covered in filth and you already like that was one of the problems I had with the film actually was trying to keep track of each like character that was one of the like bald men because it they all do look so similar but yeah

in some of the scenes where they were just conversing there was lots of like weird like you could tell Finchie was just trying out technique just to see what worked and what didn't. And it does make for some messy sequences that I did notice. One of the aspects that really stuck out to me as being kind of bad, where the music choices, a lot of bad music. Yeah, like the super cool, like, gharg, gras, or whatever it was trying to be.

Like, I don't know what the hell that was. And then like... That totally took away from the tension. And you compare it to the original alien again. you got like those fucking alarms blaring at the last 20 minutes it adds so much yeah the audio design is great in that film yeah yeah and this is just like yeah it's it's noticeably really bad orchestra or that rock yeah yeah bad choices the audio just feels incomplete it's so strange uh it ruins what could otherwise be some pretty okay scenes it's strange to see a movie of like this caliber to be

held down by such sort of amateur kind of mistakes with just things like as simple as audio like for a film that based on a franchise that is known for the atmospheric quality of them like the mood and that's the sound is so important

to that kind of thing so having it be as all over the place and distracting as it is really hurts the movie yeah one of the things I remember from watching it the first time was like I thought that the whole fire part was the end of the movie in my memory and I feel like perhaps when I watched it the first

time I also thought it was but then it just kept going and then I guess I just forgot about the whole alien chasing down the hallway part or maybe I fell asleep I don't know but like watching it again this time I was convinced that it was the end of the movie just because the music cue is just implying it you're getting like it's so unearned this like this dramatic over dramatic kind of like string instruments there's this implication that something was earned there that that this is like conclusive and then it just keeps going like by the time that music's playing and everything's slow-mo it's like what it's like none of this feels earned or justified so weird I feel like it messes with the tone and cutting a lot of the music out

would it helps with the atmosphere and that more like dark tone he was going for but it kind It's like the music and like the xenomorph. It's all kind of corny and it takes away. There is one music choice that I really loved. And it's the only thing that I remember that I remembered about the movie positively. And this was always something where it's like I knew it was in this movie and I really liked it. Was the intro, the like Fox. Oh, yes.

So they play the Fox theme, something that you're all familiar with and you have this expectation of the notes in your head. and then the last note doesn't play and the second last note lingers and it's just this uncomfortable feeling of like uh oh something's wrong and I really enjoyed that like that's one of my favorite intros stylistically

for any kind of like horror film I think that that was really creepy really effective like that was a very strong opening just from like the opening titles I really love that and I always remembered that it was from this movie So again the first third I was totally on board I think all of us were but it's just it falls apart

It slowly falls apart yeah they can't they can't hook the landing for me it really falls apart once charles dances out the picture yeah he's such a good actor interesting character but they they complete his sort of reveal his like story hook so early on that he has no real purpose afterwards so they just get rid of him which is like a cool moment in the film but then they've got nothing left really in the film there's no more characters that are likable and so it's just a bunch of random dudes dying

that you don't care about yeah he was like the only likable character other than maybe Ripley don't give a shit about anybody else well apparently also going back to the like the uncomfortable opening thing that you liked the fox yeah um

originally apparently the film had a lot of really extreme gore that was um had to be edited out because of like test screenings like for example the uh yeah the scene early on with um with newt um you know newt being dissected apparently it was like way more gory and have way more shots of like bits being like pulled out and cut up so of course that didn't go down well yeah and there's like someone's face getting like melted and and stuff like that. Things that sound amazing, to be honest, and I wish you were in the movie, but... Yeah. Yeah, they didn't want it to be scary. They didn't want to scare people too much. That's the thing.

Like, what the fuck? I could understand the dissection scene feeling gratuitous in that way. Nah, show it all. Make it half the movie. But it's like aliens isn't a scary movie, but there are other things that prop it up to make it entertaining.

Yeah, it's its own thing. Space Marine. And so does this to a certain extent It's leaning more into like a kind of philosophical Like religious idea Yeah Which isn't really interesting to me honestly No

To me it is in premise It's portrayed in the movie Yeah they never give you a real like Good reason to invest yourself into that side of the story Like yeah in the assembly cut One of the main things they added was the kind of subplot of That guy who played Doctor Who in the Doctor Who movie They're like insane patient

Who's like going around Mr. Dragon Tied to a bed or whatever Yeah the guy yeah Him most of that stuff is what was added But yeah it doesn't really enhance the movie that much It really doesn't just like a loose thematic kind of thread That you can sort of read into after the fact

But it doesn't really improve the movie As you're watching it that much So that's a kind of a strange decision to me when I could have like take that extra 20 minutes and give me more scenes of like Charles Dance and Ripley yeah over that that shit any day that that's interesting to me it's and it sets up stakes for her to like lose something because once Charles Dance dies then she's lost everything again and from that point the character has got very little to lose aside from her own life I guess yeah so like past it she gets over it really quickly and it's like

we know as an audience that having an alien in her is a death sentence. So in a way, it's just like, what should I care any more then, really? Unless you're really going to make a statement as you go up. It's not a death sentence if it's alien covenant and you can give yourself a C-section. Yeah, with one of the machines. But they didn't have those, even though this takes place after technically.

I think, and the fourth one. The fourth one starts with a scene where they like take one out. of like her clone or something. Yeah. Yeah, I want to watch the fourth one again. I watched like 20 minutes of it earlier. That film's whack. Oh yeah.

It's really strange. But it's like, from what I remember, probably more entertaining than this one. Alien 3 is kind of boring, but... I don't find three as boring as you guys. Oh, yeah? I just kind of... I like it from the perspective of kind of what it represents. I like the like red-headed stepchild franchise movies.

I normally find them most interesting just from like a historical standpoint. And the probably the best thing about the movie is like the behind the scene stuff that's on the DVD or Blu-ray or whatever. Probably. They're like three hours of it. And it's just three hours of the producers and everything saying, yeah, the film's pretty bad. This is why. That's so funny. Going in on their own film for like hours and hours is the funniest thing.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I appreciate how candid they are about it, though, in the behind scenes. It's so lame when they have to make excuses for it. I think when enough time is passed, you're allowed to do that. They did very similar things on the special features for, like, I don't know, the Friday the 13th movies, you know, where they're like, yeah, this is dumb. It's cool that they're allowed to do that.

Whereas, like, if you release that kind of thing and, you know, and the movies just fresh out, then everybody has to pretend, like, it's the coolest thing. once some time people can be a bit more honest about it I just found myself really bored and adding like another half an hour to it just like It's unnecessary yeah

There's a lot of people that Think that this cut saves the film Or improves it I couldn't even tell you I couldn't even tell you I couldn't even tell you From how it sounds

It sounds better I would like to see the theatrical cut again one day but I don't think I don't want to rush back and watch it right now yeah right you don't think I'm gonna watch Alien 3 ever again I don't think I need to

yeah I mean it's not without its good qualities I agree with you there Alex but overall I think it's kind of messy and inconsistent and bland but it is worth watching if you want to see like Finchers early stuff

yeah that's the most interesting part about it in it and there's parts that are cool like some of the deaths and dialogue scenes but overall yeah this is kind of bad man at least i thought so that that last scene when the quote unquote rescue crew shows up and they're all wearing like sunglasses and like weird trench coach and shit they looked so ridiculous it was so weird they were like out of an anime i don't know what that was about. Even in the 90s, the idea was starting to get repetitive, you know, like the, what's it called again, the evil company in the alien universe?

Wayland. Wayland, Utani, yeah, like, every movie it's about them. We've got, what, five films about that now. Yeah, yeah. It's like we've been there, done that, seen the Zina. Exactly, and the film feels like it. Yeah. Yeah.

Really, Scott's going to keep making them. Even though it's not scary. Did the last one even make enough money? Yeah, probably. Covenant? I think so. Yeah. I think it made funny.

Yeah, Covenant's one of the worst. I really don't like Covenant. I think it's the worst alien movie, that one. Really? You think it's worse than Alien versus Predator? Oh, shit. Okay, no, counting them. If we're counting those, because I barely even count them.

Yeah, AVPR, I guess. Yeah, AVPR is by far, I think, the worst one. Yeah, that's the worst one if we're actually including that. That's barely a movie. Yeah, I don't know. That's like if two douchebags made an alien movie. That's literally what happened. Just too.

I don't know. We've got a special effects background. That's it. It would be really cool if the alien was on Earth and attacked Earth because that's scarier. That's what they thought. I'm like, what makes aliens scary is that they were in a ship alone in space. Chostrophobia, yeah. But then how could you kill all the babies?

It's hardcore. Kill the room of babies. That was the best part. Edge lords. Yeah, pretty much. But that was the whole marketing campaign is like AVPR. Remember the last one was PG-13? Well, this one's got R in the title, so he won't be confused.

It's for adults. Yeah. Yeah, we're making a good alien movie again. Yeah. Rated R. That's probably why people appreciate this one more, because it's actually a film with a vision and has good parts to it. It's not like a total cash grab piece of garbage like that.

But I would give it like a two out of five, you know, overall, two out of five for me. Yeah, I would give it maybe a four, maybe a five out of ten. I don't know. I rated it at a five, but it could be a four. I don't know. There are parts that I liked for sure. There's stuff to appreciate about this movie. it's just, its biggest problem is that it's really, really boring.

Yeah, that's the thing. It's two and a half hours long. And if someone were to ask me, should I watch it? I would probably say no. Yeah. I'd say just watch the first two. Without like the caveat of like, unless they're a huge Fincher fan or something. I think from that perspective, it's interesting.

Yeah, absolutely. Only watch Alien Covenant. Yeah, that's the only true alien movie. Well, if you don't watch the other movies, then you can, You can't really be pissed off at Alien Covenant as much. I guess, yeah. Might be awesome for you then. Yeah, it was goofy.

Wamp. Alex, sorry, you give it a five out of ten, a two and a half star? Yeah, two and a half stars, I reckon, is about fair. But the theatrical, from the sounds of it, I'm going to have to check out again at some point. It might be lower, potentially. Yeah, I feel no obligation to. I don't feel like I have to. no yeah

all right um time for questions ok dokey there's question time on the sad on a cast if you want to leave your own questions head over to the sod on a cast reddit where ralph will leave a funny little fred for you to leave whatever question you please

okay let's start off with one from THX 118 how long do you guys think theaters will continue to survive. How do you all see the future of the moviegoing experience evolving? Hmm. Interesting.

Indy Arthouse theaters will always be around, for sure. Are you sure? Like indie art house ones? I think those ones are going to be the first to go. No, I think the market's all with Disney right now. Like if you're not selling blockbusters in your theater, then you're on the chopping block. It's happened

so many times. Like, it's happened It's true, but there's still those theaters that make it. Yeah, I guess, but there's not, I mean, like, the more Indian art house you are, the less of an audience you have. And you need that audience to buy concession, right? That's true. So. Yeah, I guess it depends where you are.

Like in L.A. and New York, there will always be markets for that or like Austin, Texas. Yeah, London's got some good ones too. Yeah, London. There will always be an audience, but you're right at them in that they're going to suffocate the rest of these cedars out of existence. Yeah, that's the issue. playing Aladdin. It's like it'll be nothing but the big chains at some point.

But I don't know how long that's going to take. Will there be a point where Disney makes their own theater chain and just doesn't put them in AMC? That would be interesting. Or regal. That could happen. I would say that they would be more likely to just buy out a theater chain. Yeah, they could do that too.

We are dangerously close. What big franchises aren't owned by them? at this point. But every month it's just dominated by Disney. Yeah, they own Fox now. That's the thing. So they have all that. Yeah. Like their streaming service has everything on it. It's got the Simpsons. It's got all the Marvel movies.

It's like every major thing in pop culture they have. Oops. They don't have Lionsgate so they don't have like Saw and Hunger Games. As if that matters. I mean like they're not even ongoing at this point.

Saw and Hunger Games are in the past. They're making a Hunger Games prequel, I think. Oh, nice. Why wouldn't they? They actually have John Wick, which did well. Yeah, I saw that. John Wick is awesome, but... Yeah.

It's like John Wick isn't the Avengers, you know? Exactly. It's not a huge major franchise. It's not looking good, but I don't know when it's going to happen. It seems like... It seems like... Yeah. Things will just die out.

It's pissed to me off when everyone was cheering on the Fox. acquisition. So, so, no, competition is what is needed. Yeah. No, because people were mostly happy about X-Men going into the MCU. So from that perspective, people are like, yes, this is a win. But from a, like, grander perspective, it's like, this is actually, like, turning into quite an issue. Yeah.

Yeah. It's probably not good. I want to see a live-action Simpsons reboot. Yeah, they don't have, like, Jurassic Park and that stuff. Oh, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, Jurassic Park is the one that they don't have. That's the big one. And DC, of course.

Yeah, everyone's jealous of them. Yeah, Warner Brothers. They would want Warner Brothers too for Batman. Yeah. Or that shit. Batman with fucking the Avengers or whatever. That's what they do. Avengers versus DC.

Yeah. I don't know if that'll happen anytime soon, but it could. I don't even know if it would be allowed by like the guys. I think they would stop that yeah you put too much faith into your American government Ralph maybe I do yeah I think I think it would allow one studio to own every every film franchise ever I think they'll allow it valuable property yeah we'll see I guess we'll find out in five years I don't see the United States government stepping in against Disney they haven't so far keep

extending copyright. Big industry for them. Yeah. Make it life plus 200 years. Why not? Make it infinity. No take back. Forever.

Disney owns everything forever and the rest of you have to work for them. It'll be like THX. Nice. Okay. So that's what's going to happen to theaters. We're going to fucking all be in a post-apocalyptic future run by Disney. Epic. And then George Lucas can remake our lives.

Yeah, add CGI monkeys. I'll be right with that. Into the history. Come on, George. We got a good one here from Bendre the Giant. Did you guys see the Doctor Sleep trailer? It's being directed by Mike Flanagan, who did Gerald's game, sorry, which was pretty good, in my opinion, but he has a good amount of flops. Thoughts?

Did you guys see about this? I saw the trailer. It's a sequel to The Shining, right? Yeah, I don't know. there's nothing about the trailer that makes me go, oh yeah, I'm super excited and this looks good.

Like most of what was effective about the trailer was just the clips and the music from the original film, which, you know, that's like every Disney live action adaptation trailer at this point. Like what makes it successful

isn't earned from the production of the film that you're advertising. So, oh, like there is a bit... They just use the same iconography. Yeah, exactly. I don't know, I like how it opened

I like the opening I like that it was quiet and you saw that those words like in the background like far away like that was I think that that was successfully eerie but then every single shot after that there's nothing about it that made me think like

oh yeah this looks good yeah I'll check it out after but I didn't like Gerald's game so I probably won't be on board with this either I thought it was pretty mediocre yeah I'll probably watch it but I don't think it's going to be good. Yeah, we'll see.

Because sequel, like, belated sequels to Kubrick movies always go as well. You guys seen that sequel to 2001? Oh, no, I didn't. 2010, the year we made contact or something? 2010. That's the one.

That's it. I never saw it. John Liskow's in it or something weird like that? Yeah, it seems weird. Yeah. I'm really curious about that one, but I'm sure it's not, like, great or anything. I can't imagine it's anything like 2001.

I just don't know how you could, ever accomplish a sequel to films like that without just living in its shadow. It's like that thing reboot remake sequel thing they made around 2010. It was just pointless. They keep doing it.

They're just completely pointless films. Of course they're going to be worse. Yep, the shining sequel will definitely be a movie. We're all hyped for it. Yeah. if you can't tell I've got a specific one for you here Adam

from Lee Dumb who says Adam if Scar was being voiced by Jeremy Irons in the remake would you consider seeing the new Lion King I would consider it I don't know if I would see it there's still like elements

but him not being it is definitely put you in the urge to it pisses me off just hearing it in the trailer it makes me upset said. The voice sounds like shit. They brought back James Earl Jones too. And also at this point, like, I don't know,

they probably just sound way too old anyway. James Earl Jones sounds like he's dying. I'd consider it, but it's not, it still doesn't look like something I would want to see. John Oliver, Zazu, come on. Oh dear. Oh, dear. He's not even an actor.

Yeah, what's the point He's British Go from Ronn Atkinson to fucking him Come on Classic comic actor, yeah Great We got an interesting one from M-R-T-I-M-C

Who says When did each of you become aware Of each other's channels Do you remember? I remember for Ralph I was pretty young I remember with Ralph I think you left a comment on my

I think it was the Smosh movie review or something? Oh yeah, I saw you reviewed the Smosh movie and I was like, I reviewed it too if you want to see. Yeah, and that's when I went on your channel and started watching your vids, I think. Wow, that's crazy. A little bit of self-promotion there. I discovered both of you when I was like 14. Yeah, yeah, I hustled dude. Yeah. I was like 14 when I discovered both of you. I was just browsing, looking at porn or whatever. I'm like, oh, what's this, a movie

review? That's it. Looking at porn on YouTube? Yeah, you know, the usual I think I found Ralph through Well, I guess if we're talking about your movie review channel I think it was just people somebody posted it on the subreddit On my YMS subreddit And there was like a decent amount of like there was some crossover I guess And like okay

And then I guess technically you messaged me When it was like your That was all in the same channel, wasn't it? So I guess technically it would have been when you messaged me. Oh, when I was 14, I messaged you about my movie that I made or whatever. I'm like, can you watch my movie? Yeah, that was the first time. But again, you didn't know like that I made like content.

Right, you weren't aware of me in that way until later. That's so crazy. It is. I forgot about that. With Alex, I think I've been a, I couldn't pinpoint. I think I was aware of his aware of your stuff for a while we started communicating with each other after the Cool Cat thing yeah that's what was popping into my mind too yeah were you aware of my channel before that point or I must have been because I knew to message

you right so I must have and I must have been watching because you I remember you uploading that video frustrated about all the claims you were getting and like stuff to do to help with it that was a while ago Yeah. The first time I like collaborated with you guys for Alex it was the Fred video and for Adam it was you messaged me to do the childhood trauma thing Yeah it took me like a few months to make but that was great was one of the best things ever made Awesome the Barney Barney video the Barney one I got get a fucking Barney suit off eBay

I went all out. Yeah, it was good That was a fun collabo I enjoyed that series yeah I guess next question nothing more to say about that don't want to fap has a good one for us

so apart from Ralph who has mentioned he has been to film school how do you guys know so much about the technical aspects of film have Adam and Alex studied it at all if not how do you learn so much without specific education special features boys DVD commentaries

yeah behind the scenes of the directors themselves You don't need a middleman unless you're learning something specific that you're that you're looking for a degree for But you can just hear it from the filmmakers themselves They'll tell you how they made it You can read books. Yeah There's lots of books written by these guys too You also learn by doing as well So if you're constantly watching movies and you're constantly talking about them and you're constantly writing about them and editing videos about them

Eventually it's going to like the stars are going to align and you're going to pick things up There's always like a moment where it basically begins when you start assigning some kind of critical thinking to realistically imagining how a bunch of humans got together and made a film into what it is, what you're watching.

So once you apply that level of thought you can logically think, okay, so the lighting must have to be this way for it to look like that and the camera has to move like this to achieve that. So it's, yeah, it's kind of like logic based at a certain point and you just pick up more as you talk about it and watch

and learn and ask. questions and watch videos and yeah research you can learn about anything as long as you're passionate about it especially with the internet yeah dsular guide you can look them up some great tutorials on how to write and direct films exactly every video he makes now is an ad which is funny uh-huh yeah he asked a critic his videos are just bad not like the green goblin or anything he's just no beating around the bush is there no yeah can't say i keep up with him i remember it so you don't have to hmm there's also like classes you can take with like industry professionals or like attend talks with them and they'll do that that's

kind of what film school is they're like imagine film school is basically imagine making a movie but you have a professional guy who's actually done it before like guiding you along like no no no don't do that, do it this way. You know, you write a script and you hand in, what we did in scriptwriting class is like 10 pages, and then you gave it to the guy and you would read it in class and he'd go, okay, this is what you did wrong and this is whatever. That helps too. Not everyone can get that, of course.

But, you know, there is a way. You could probably just find screenwriters and all get in the room and talk to each other about your scripts. That would be great. Depending on what kind of project you want to make. too because there's some visions that would not fly well in film school but are still great. Yeah, but there is a craft to it too, which is what they're trying to learn or teach you in these classes. Like, yeah, you can do whatever you want, but there are these things that storytellers do,

like the act structure and archetypes that help with your story. I'm assuming both of you have seen adaptation by Charlie. of course that's one of the best movies ever made yeah I love that whole element to it about like screenwriting class and had they're like making fun of it like yeah this is fucking just end it with the explosion yeah end it with the shootout and all that I need to watch that yeah it's so meta exactly it's making fun of that kind of thing too yeah because Charlie Kaufman does not like writing scripts like that exactly which again is a whole other thing

And now he's got that one with Tom Holland coming out that's apparently a disaster. Oh, really? Yeah, well, because he was hired on to, so he has his own passion project, which is like, I guess, like a Netflix thing based off of some book called I'm Thinking of Ending Things. And then he has another one. Let me just pull this up right here. It's got Tom Holland is starring in it. Chaos Walking. Chaos Walking.

Chaos Walking. Yeah. And so he clearly there's like eight credits on the screenplay So Charlie Kaufman is one of them. It doesn't really seem like Something he was passionate about it seems like one of those screenwriter for hire situations That's from the director Doug Lyman or Lehman or whatever I don't know how to pronounce it The director of Edge of Tomorrow and Jumper and Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Yeah, apparently it's a disaster. And I don't even know how that information is available. Might have been test screenings or something. Might have just been some troubled production sort of thing. But yeah, it's got Tom Holland and Daisy Ridley and Mauds Mickleson. But I'll definitely watch it. Not looking promising. Coming out 2020.

That's always a shame. Have you read the synopsis? it sounds crazy. Can you read it? I haven't heard. I'm not sure. It's a topian world where there are no women and all living creatures

can hear each other's thoughts in a stream of images, words, and sounds called noise. Yeah, it sounds like it could be really funny. Sounds like it could be a really good, bad movie. Yeah? I don't know, it's just so strange. I don't even know what to say that.

Yeah. All right, Charlie. You do what you want. We'll see what happens. I mean, this is right after Anomalisa was a financial disappointment, right? Didn't win the Oscar or anything. And he was kind of just like, oh, crap, I guess now I can't make the movies I want to make because nobody will give me money.

So it's a logical progression. You got to take some projects that you're not really passionate about in order to get the ones funded that you actually care about. Yeah, I don't blame them. Me either. we'll see what happens it could be great you don't know we'll see

probably not going to be great probably not we'll see another one next question another one we the best questions the

the oh show says who is collectively general consensus among the three of you your favorite and least favorite director so we can to the agreement here Kubrick

is up there for me. Cooper's an easy one to agree with. Yeah. I think collectively we all respect him quite a lot. Yeah. I've seen a few Tarkovsky films. I wouldn't say, I haven't seen all of them, so I wouldn't say he's one of the best yet.

But I would consider him up there. I would have to watch more for me to have a definitive opinion on Tarkovsky. Scorsese for me. If we're all having to collectively agree, I would have to say, Cooper is probably the most likely. Edgar, right? still going Kubrick okay

Kubrick Kubrick's just called such a varied library like Edgar Wright is good at his thing yep and then least favorite I guess least favorite is more interesting who do we all hate

let's make like a bottom 10 yeah well my M-night Shyamalan but like Zach Snyder yeah I was gonna say that I would say M-Night Shyamalan's worse I think I'm night

Sean M-M-M-N's worse than Zach Snyder I don't hate M-night I've liked too many of his movies though Yeah. M. Knight? Yeah, I don't hate him.

Yeah, more than Zach Snyder, I think. I think M. Knight, like, his bad movies are so bad that you wonder how they even got made. Yeah. I guess Zach Snyders are kind of the same way. Like, there's like, all shot. Any great movies. No. He has, like, okay movies, like the Al one and Dawn of the Dead and 300.

No, I know one that you might be able to beat. Sure. Jason Freiburg and Aaron Selzer? Yeah, those are probably We can all agree that those guys are terrible, so Yeah, absolutely. Okay, they're a good answer.

Yeah, we've done it, we've decided it, factually, which is which is... Easy. That's we're going to include, like, Derek Savage or something. Bada boom. All right. Next. All right. Okay, cilantro has a question for us.

He says, I don't know if non-moving. questions are allowed but what are some of your favorite hobbies outside of movies music and YouTube damn it outside of music that was gonna be my go-to yeah video games I love playing video games yeah story based single player although multiplayer is fun now too I've dipped my toe in it but I mostly do the single player stuff I could say video games but if the question says outside of YouTube I can't really because I only do video games for YouTube. Oh, okay.

Not like I wouldn't play them otherwise, but. I like hiking. Hiking's great. I love dogs. I love playing with dogs. I'm hanging out with dogs. So that's a hobby. Yeah, I'm with you on the dogs one.

I swim as well. Outside of movies, music, and YouTube and gaming and stuff, I enjoy attending anthropomorphic animal conventions I enjoy furry conventions

guys that's my hobby so there suck it it's weird when we get to do something that for most people would be a hobby

as sort of like a main thing you know yeah yeah we get paid to do this we get paid to talk about movies so that obviously takes up a lot of our time already

Yeah But we enjoy it It's funny that people are doing the same thing we're doing They're just doing it for fun I mean we were all doing it for fun Just you know when we first started Five years ago whenever We did it because we loved it

We still love it Well I also feel like that's why I'm able to fill up So much of my time with it It's like I'm always able to be working Because I'm doing things that I would be doing Even if I wasn't calling at work Yeah Yeah

It makes sense What do I do in my free time Oh I watch movies and I make music and I play video games. Like that's what I do in my free time anyway. So it's just that's why I'm able to always be working pretty much. Like if I'm sick of editing, if I can't edit or I can't record something even if I'm sick, it's like, okay, well, I can just watch some movies, get those off my list of things I need to do, right?

So it's like that's what I'd be doing anyway. I mean, watching movies is a hobby for me too. I do it for work, but I love fucking watching movies. Just because there's so much art you gotta see before you die, right? And so it's nice to cross these off your list. Like, oh, I've seen that. I've experienced that. That feels good.

Yeah. And there's no way you can watch all of them. I mean, maybe you can. But it would be very hard. Did you give an answer, Alex? Yeah, so swimming dogs. I like Lego a lot as well, of course. I can't not bring up my Lego.

Cool. You actively enjoy Lego currently. Yeah. Okay. Do you know what inspired me as an animal? adult. It was watching one of these behind the scenes things. I think it was of um it was from South Park like the South Park writer Trey Parker he was like describing how he switches his brain off and he said he buys Lego and builds Lego. That's cool. So if he's ever in a rut that's what he does.

So I've been doing the same thing for the past few years. That makes tons of sense. And it's just like it's kind of like doing a puzzle you know and you just have a nice model at the end and it's just like a switch your brain off. Or people build the model. of like planes. Yeah, it's just like, it's my equivalent one. Yeah. I enjoy mixology.

I enjoy bar tending. That's a hot. Oh yeah. Yeah. Cool. I like making a good cocktail. Hell yeah. Yeah.

Dude. Cool. I'll make you guys some cocktails on our future Disney World Trip. Please do. I'll make some spaghetti. I like cooking. That's another hobby of mine.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'm fucking Italian. Of course I like cooking. Yeah. Spaghetti meatballs and a cocktail. That's awesome. Now we got it.

And then Alex can get the biscuits. Yeah, I can bring those of weird confectionery from here. Yeah, what the fuck are these? Jaffa cakes, jammy dodgers. Fizzy drinks. I was watching a Ken Louch film yesterday, and there was a line where the wolf was commenting on this guy's pants, but it was his underwear. And then I had this thought in my head of like, man, I wonder if the interpretation of that

line in the Lego movie is just completely lost. Because it's not like, honey, where are my pants? It's like they're right there. You're wearing your pants. Your underwear. That is true. Yeah. I guess because the film's so American, we can kind of wrap our heads around that.

Yeah, younger kids might not get it. Adam, you know, as soon as we finished recording that episode with the funny English words, there was one major one we forgot. Okay. Fag. Oh, nice. You know what that means in this country? Yeah.

It's a cigarette. A cigarette. Yeah. So if you hear someone casually say that on the street, that's what it means. Yeah. And then throughout history, both are, you know, used for burning. Yeah That's a strange one

It's a bundle of sticks Yeah Smoke a fag It's either Having a cigarette Or killing a gay person Yeah Two completely different things

Okay good That's a big one isn't it Yeah And it's something you never consider if you live here So people don't even consider that a naughty word Not in the same way now Okay. But people just say it without even thinking. They wouldn't even consider that someone could be invented. So do people still use the derogatory version? Do they use the full word?

I'm sure some people do. Yeah, everyone knows the slurter here for sure. Okay. Here's a question. Shoot. Is it still also applicable as a cigarette if you say faggot? Do you say, does anybody say I'm going to gonna smoke a faggot? No, because people might think they mean the like the meat from a butcher. What? There's meat? Called faggot? Do you not have meat faggots?

I have no idea what those are. What is this? This is the new one. Oh my god, this is really out there. So what is this? I've had plenty of faggot meat in my time, but... Their meatballs made from like, awful. It's like a dish.

Oh my god It's like all the parts that are gross like the pigs heart liver stuff like that Okay so like a hot time blew my mind again Alex That's not normal for you guys no not at all My country's are going to more or more absurd to me I've never heard that What even is the equivalent for you then? You're just saying it's meatballs made from like leftover parts that you don't like? I don't know if it's like a special type.

But it's like meatballs. We don't call it something. Are they like larger meatballs? Are they like basically Swedish meatballs, but just not like the prime parts of the meat, I guess? Like, I don't know. I couldn't tell you. I'm not Scottish enough.

Okay. All right. Well, thanks for that little tidbit of information. Yeah, that was awesome. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing your knowledge of meat faggots. God damn it. All right, one more.

Where do we go from here? Yeah, how do you even follow that up? Last question. D-Munk, one, two, three. Ask us, have you guys ever actually watched a movie on your phone? I think I have. Yeah?

Well, would you count like an airplane seat TV? Like, that's kind of the same experience, right? It's like a small screen with a headphones or whatever. I've done that a few times. Mostly documentaries, if I were to do that, because that doesn't require as much. Although, yeah, I should be doing that. But still, that's, like, the only time I've used my phone to want something.

Yeah, I feel like I have probably done that on my phone on an airplane at some point. or movies I've seen before yeah I couldn't even tell you what movie my dad watches movies on planes all the time he saw the revenant on a plane he's like oh it was a pretty good movie I'm like dad that's not the way you're supposed to watch it

it was fucking like it was like a square TV too it was cropped so half the screen was like you know it was all the aspect ratio was wrong think you can watch movies on your fucking plane get real Yeah, I would never watch a film on my phone, but I've watched plenty of stuff on my iPad before. I don't know about films in particular.

I wouldn't watch something like The Revenant for the first time on an iPad. Yeah. If I'm just re-watching some garbage on Netflix, I don't mind just chucking it on like an iPad or something. Yeah, there are some things that I would care about too much. Yeah, I just don't like the experience as much. I don't think it's comfortable to watch a film that way. I would prefer to have a nice TV and sound system sit on my couch or theater. It depends on the goals of what you're watching.

Like I could load up some Nathan for you episodes on my phone or something and watch that on a plane and feel comfortable about it. But the Revenant probably not. Yeah, like TV comedies, like The Office and it's always sunny. I watch those on my phone sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. And your fucking fucking.

Fucking telephone David Lynch movies Yeah you should not be watching those on phones Unless you really want to Unless it's out of protest That's not the way Yeah Unless it's out of protest

To make a point Just send him a screenshot For me it's the The sound is like a huge deal to me And I didn't realize it until the other day Where there was like a power cut And my like surround sound Wasn't working

So I set the TV to the default Speakers And it was like such a contrast and it's like, this sucks. Watching things without my surround sound. That was rubbish in comparison. All right. I guess we've all kind of answered that.

I guess we do. Cool. I guess there's a recommendation. Yeah, who is it? Do you know? I think it's mine. Adam, we didn't get to talk about too old to die young, but maybe next time.

Yeah, I'll have watched more of it by next point anyway. Yeah. We'll probably have both have finished the series, so. Right. We'll wait for that. Yeah. It's not like anybody's... I mean, the thing's got like 700 IMDB ratings.

Not many people are watching it at all. It's going to take a while. So what's that an Amazon Prime, like original thing? Yeah. From Nicholas Winding Redmond. Each episode's over an hour, I think. Episode two is like two hours long for no reason. To be perfectly honest with you, the way thing...

I've seen the first four episodes. My recommendation would be to skip the first three. well at con where he premiered it he premiered the fourth and fifth episode so he started with the fourth one at Cannes Film Festival it's because those are the best ones honestly but he said it's because that's the way millennials watch their stuff now out of order

it doesn't make sense what he said but we'll talk about that next episode anyway right right it's an interesting thing to talk about but okay anyway Adam continue I got a recommendation Ralph has definitely seen it I don't know if Alex has seen it either way I haven't seen it

it's something that my brother was telling me to watch for a long time and I was always kind of like yeah I'll watch it and then never did American movie a documentary kind of thing oh yeah yeah I've been meaning to watch that too yeah okay documentary that's one of the best

it's probably my favorite documentary honestly I'm sure it'll provoke some interesting discussion. If you don't want to be spoiled for American movie, make sure to watch it before the next episode in two weeks. Also, I'm going to pimp out a little thing here. My brother will be screening the film. He does like a movie night thing every week at his bar in Montreal. So if you're looking for an excuse to catch the movie,

perhaps because it's recommended on this podcast, then head to the Diving Bell Social Club in Montreal. It's apparently five bucks, 8 p.m. on July 2nd, full bar couches. And apparently before the film, they screen a short film from a local director every week. Yeah, and they're on Facebook, Diving Bell Movie Club or Instagram.

diving bell movie club cool yeah oh neat he should screen a coven coven's the film they're making in american movie oh right yeah yeah and yeah he'll be uh joining us for the discussion on next uh yeah so theoretically this episode will be public like one day before the movie screening at his bar or whatever so you'll be able to that. Diving Bell Social Club. Montreal.

Canada. Done. Be there. O.B. Square. Yeah. Do it. Say hi. His name's Evan.

Tell him you came here. Because his brother told you too. All right. Thank you all for listening to this episode of Sardonicast. Thank you.

Hopefully Ralph's audio sounds great. I hope so. I'm sure we'll be. I really hope so. Otherwise, I'll be replaced with Jeremy John's next episode. Jeremy John's doing an impression of you. If you'd like to support the show, Sardonicast.com, $2 a month, sign up for premium. You get these episodes early when they're edited.

Otherwise, patreon.com slash Sardonicast does the same thing. Also, we have merch. Link in the description. YouTube, boys. All right. Thank you very much. Thanks, guys. Thanks, everybody.

Take care. Bye-bye. Bye.