Saturn Returns with Caggie - *Moments* Why are women made to feel they have an expiry date? With Melissa Hemsley

Episode Date: November 27, 2022

Feel good chef, best-selling cookbook author, and sustainability champion, Melissa Hemsley, is on Saturn Returns this week! In this moment, you’ll hear a preview into the conversation where Melissa and Caggie share their fears of running out of time, finding your true rhythm in your thirties, and how women tend to be viewed with an expiry date. The full episode goes live tomorrow and explores perfectionism and craving praise; masking and the importance of being truly yourself; as well as Melissa and Caggie’s shared love of naps.  --- Follow or subscribe to "Saturn Returns" for future episodes, where we explore the transformative impact of Saturn's return with inspiring guests and thought-provoking discussions. Follow Caggie Dunlop on Instagram to stay updated on her personal journey and you can find Saturn Returns on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok.  Order the Saturn Returns Book. Join our community newsletter here.  Find all things Saturn Returns, offerings and more here.

hello everyone and happy sunday i hope you're having a glorious weekend i just wanted to share with you a little moment from tomorrow's episode where i am joined by the lovely melissa hemsley i'm like oh my gosh why am i running out of time I think that's another thing I've worked on a lot in therapy is what's the rush and you're 33 I'm 36 almost 37 I feel like we're the same generation where it was very rising stars under 30 or you know teenagers that have made their first billion whatever it was very much raised by what you'd got done young right yeah and it's one of those things that you don't realize how much that's impacted the way that you operate and it's something I've been writing about this sort of especially I'd say for women because there's other expectations around what we're supposed

to have done in our 30s or be doing and it feels unmanageable to do all those things like for me I kind of only felt like I found my rhythm in something after 30 and now I'm 33 I'm like okay so I have and it's not even what I really think but it's what I felt like I've picked up through you know the media various things that I have to cram so much into such a short space of time because my shelf life is going to run out in one of these areas and so at the moment I'm doing exactly what you've just said where I've taken on probably more than I can handle because I feel like I need to get them all done by this in this time period because then I have to go and do like other things that are expected of me who's decided our expiry date it's so funny I just had this vision when

you said I just imagined you being packaged up on a supermarket shelf that's exactly it and that's that's how I wrote about it it was like this idea that we are on a supermarket shelf. That's exactly it. And that's how I wrote about it. It was like this idea that we are on a shelf and that we have an expiry date and that somewhere in our thirties, it runs out and like everything past then is a bonus. And if you actually dissect that, it's insane because you only truly know yourself, I believe, when you're in, when you're 30 and like throughout that time is when you actually start to really appreciate and know who you are and dismantle some of these things but simultaneously you're being fed the idea that you know time is running out that the window of opportunity is closing before your very eyes especially in industries that you know you or I are in like for me I was in the music industry the tv that's

all sort of you know they I think it's because people like to manufacture people and because when people are younger they're more malleable whereas when people are in their 30s you can't really tell a 30 year old who to be no No. Not as easily. I remember I was so magazine obsessed when I was younger. I would read everything, constantly wanting to be grown up. And when I have my own flat, when I'm making cocktails for my lover, when I have my dinner party, when I have my lovely handbag and high heels. And I remember reading articles you know this is like the red magazines you know aimed at 30 plus and I they would say these things they would say

when I hit 30 you know shit just started to make sense or when I when I turned 40 it was and I would be like nah they're just saying that to make themselves feel better and now I get it and I'm you know as I say almost 37 and then again it's really interesting to chat with you nah, they're just saying that to make themselves feel better. And now I get it. And I'm, you know, as I say, almost 37. And again, it's really interesting to chat with you now because traditionally, historically, I always struggle around now when the month of my birthday, I used to, last year, I think, was the first birthday, I think, that I didn't cry for a lot of the day. If you want to listen to the full episode, it will be available at 7am tomorrow.

That is Monday. And I hope you enjoy it. Sending lots of love. And remember, you are not alone. Goodbye.