Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Sawbones: Bidets

Episode Date: January 10, 2020

We bidets have been all the rage for years around the globe, they never really caught on in the U.S. What part of their seedy history kept them out of American homes? And what (if any) are their health benefits? We've got all that and more on the new Sawbones! Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers

Sawbones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You're worth it. that weird growth. You're worth it. Alright, time is about to books. One, two, one, two, three, four. We came across a pharmacy with a toy and that's lost it out. We were sawed through the broken glass and had ourselves a look around.

Some medicines, some medicines that escalate my cop for the mouth. Wow. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Sawbode's Marital Tour of Miskite and Medicine. I'm a co-host, Justin McRoy. And I'm Sydney McRoy. December the 24th was the date. I came home from last minute shopping. And I found, I'm going to try not to cry. Well, first you found my dad standing

in our living room holding a tool bag. Not that weird, didn't write a shirt with me. That's true. I came home and I found that my wife had got me the one special gift that I was for this Christmas season. And she had got me a bidet. Technically, it's a washlet.

Well, it warms my butt. Yes. And those other bidet stuff, which I'm not gonna be precious about talking about. It attaches to our existing toilet. Right. It's not like you're probably gonna talk about these sorts of things,

so I don't wanna get too deep. No, I will. This topic. In the end, I mean, that's not really medical history to cover all of the various perks that come with different kinds of bidets and washlets, but I'll mention it. It was the only thing I'd asked for for a Christmas

since it was delivered. It was a bit of a to-do because you have to have an outlet next to your toilet. Yeah, it's a hope for, it was a hope production, but I really appreciate all that. We didn't, but now we do. That's right. Handy woman, Sydney.

Handy woman, Sydney, figured out how to put an outlet to your toilet. It's their own two hands and no help from her dad. I had never thought about the bidade as a topic for our show. Even though- It's a topic for everyday conversation in my life now. It's all sort of talk about. Let's be honest, it's been a topic

in our everyday conversation for a while ever since Travis got one. So- Yes. Well, I gave one to Travis because I thought it was hilarious. And then he became obsessed with it and extolled the virtues of it to anyone who would listen. And then I thought, I can't let Travis have a better life than me. I can't. A better butt than me. A better butt, a better life than me. It was really Dr. Smith emailed us and suggested this topic. And thank you Dr. Smith. Because I never,

I hadn't really considered it like a medical thing. It just seemed like kind of a, I don't know, a fun thing. Yeah, well, a medical mental health matters. Well, I don't know why you're, you're, this is not about mental health. I, there are claims, I did not realize this. There are, there are claims that some companies make as to the medical benefits of bidets and watchlets, which are- I'm really just talking about a bidet seat that attaches to your existing

toilet as opposed to a separate thing, right? Like that's the bidet. But I didn't realize that there were companies that were making all these claims as to what they could do for you medically and I thought that it was a good point. This should be addressed because I am by no means anti-biday But we should know what we're buying and what it will and won't do. I noticed the settings changing when I go in there So it's do put their own kind of spin on it You can actually well, I'm not going to give it that. Anyway, it's worth mentioning that if there could be a whole other episode about the way that humans have cleaned themselves after, you know, bathrooming throughout the ages, that could be a whole episode unto itself. And I don't want to get into all that

because I really want to talk about specifically the history of the Badei. I can probably cover it leaves huge sponges. Actually, the Romans sponge on a stick and it would be like a community sponge on a stick. Dead Badger is probably the Greek sea. Maybe the Greek Seas Clay or Stone, which seems uncomfortable. It's foliating. Yes. It was the ancient Chinese that came up with the use of paper, which was like a huge step

forward, right? That was a much better idea. But even as you move into like early American history, the early days of the United States, a lot of settlers used like corn cobs. So I guess they hadn't heard about this great paper innovation and we're using corn cobs, which again, ouch. A whole history of people using things that sound unpleasant,

like they don't sound like they'd be on the table. It sounds like, well, obviously we won't use a corn cobs. That shouldn't have made it past the blue sky, sort of like, well, there's corn cobs. We have a lot of those line round, I don't know a corn cob. That shouldn't have made it past the blue sky. Sort of like, well, there's corn cob. So people on those line round, I'm not gonna do with them. Toilet paper has become, I think, the mainstay for most. While about it.

Oh, but does it make the most sense? Does it? Are you asking me? Does it? Is it the best way to clean your bottom after, you know, you, do you want me to use medical terms here? It's, I think the word defecate is very gross. It's bad.

I know it's technically accurate. You used to say, like I'm finally saying, I don't care about the word poop, but you are so, I know how it pains you to talk about stuff like this. In the, it's weird. When I am seeing a patient and I have to talk about stuff like this. In the, it's weird. When I am seeing a patient and I have to talk about things like this, it doesn't even phase me. Like, none of this, it doesn't even register to me that I should have any like weirdness

about it, but talking outside of an exam room about poop is weird for me. I don't know what that is. I can't, my doctor, my life, you not a lot. It's like a wild economy. I imagine in your day to day life, you don't put your finger in people's butt holes. Like I think that they're in different standards and practices for when you got your weird mirror wrapped around your forehead and your white coat on. But is there a better way than toilet paper?

I mean, I like to think so. The bidet would be a huge. You know, toilet paper still has a guest starring role in the process. Well that's that's debatable but we'll get there. Okay. So the word bidet, do you know what comes from what the what the word bidet, I mean you could probably guess the language of origin. French. Yes it's a French word bidet. It comes from a word for pony. Why? How do you sit on a bidet? I don't know. Bearback? Oh gosh, Justin. What? No, you just straddle it. You straddle it like you would a pony. Like you would a horse. I thought mine was good. Which by the way, I read that and thought, oh, that's how one

uses a bidet. Sure, you straddle. Because I didn't know, because we don't have those. No, they aren't not. I don't think, have you ever seen your real life? I don't think. I don't think I have. Surely I must have. I mean, I was all over Europe. But they don't have a lot of bidets and hostels though.

Yeah, fair. Or at least not the ones that I stayed in, perhaps there were hostels though. Or at least not the ones that I stayed in, perhaps there were hostels with the days. So I guess you're supposed to straddle a bidet, and that's where, and it's a certain kind of horse, like a really short stocky, short-legged little pony. And so it makes sense because original bidets kind of looked that way, like these little squat porcelain bowls with wooden legs that just kind of hunched over in the corner of your bedroom.

Is this something that would, I mean, okay, I'm gonna reveal my ignorance here, but like, did, how would it work without plumbing? I don't know how you would like. So the original bidetsets and these date back, just to kind of put you in a setting, probably the late 1600s is when bidets started appearing in France. And there is a thought as to who invented it,

although we're not 100% sure, the guy who gets credit the most, his name Christoph de Rosier, and he was a furniture maker. And that's what this is often like, it leads back to French furniture makers, which one made the first one, which one had the first one in their bedroom, I don't know.

But this guy made a furniture for French royalty, and there's at least this story where in 1710, there was a pot put in the bedroom of Madame de Pris, who was a wife of the French prime minister, specifically for washing the genitals. So at this point, it would have been literally like a wooden, like four wooden legs with a little porcelain pot in the middle, maybe like decorated. It could have been quite ornate, you know, because it was made for royalty. So it would have been a very beautiful piece of furniture.

And you would just put water in it and then straddle it and kind of wash everything. Got it. Splash up there and wash everything. Splash up there and wash everything. Yes, so that no plumbing involved at this point. Okay. And they were, because of this,

more were installed throughout the Palace of Versailles and it spread from there. That is, and this may be like an amalgam of various stories, like various members of French royalty and various furniture makers who had this idea because at this point in history, two bathes was an ordeal, right? Like if you didn't have plumbing, bathing meant

we have to haul water into this big tub, warmed water, until we fill it up. So that is just like how about a little something for the genitals as far as we're in here? Yes, because the thought was, this would be good for after you go to the bathroom, right? Clean everything up after that. It would be used for, this is part of where the word

but day actually comes from, after a long horse ride, was a common use for it. That you would come back and you know clean everything up because you've been on horseback and maybe get a little funky. So so it was used for that. It was also a it was also seen as a proper way to prepare oneself for

other bedroom activities. Sleep. No. We're good bringing from the flu. No, I'm talking about sexual activity. way to prepare oneself for other bedroom activities. Sleep. No. We're good bringing from the flu. No, I'm talking about sexual activity. Oh my. Yes.

Oh, well, well. You may want to freshen up a little bit before that. And so it was used for all these things. And like I said, everybody, it was originally associated with royalty. And so you would see these and you can look up pictures of old badays. And they're all beautifully painted and they're like gold or silver. You probably got on some sort of list. Old baday, high-res, glossy, JPEG. The last search in my search history is Napoleon's Bede. So there we go. I don't know what lists I'm on, but I bet they're interesting.

Yeah, you're probably already on them though. Oh yeah. This is like our 300 Bigeleon episode, like you're on the list. We're on the list, are you on them? My pop-up ads ever since we did the home lab tests and I searched for home STI testing. My pop-up ads are wild. So anyway, like I said, the original Badeys were just these little

porcelain pots with legs. Eventually they had hand pump operated sprayers that were kinda added on, so you could pump the thing and spray. Like a super-soaker. Basically. Yes, like a super-soaker, four a supersoaker for you're down there you know basically that's what it said on the bowl just engraving on there this here

there be like on supersoaker for nine down there the the one that Napoleon had I I googled this because I kept reading about Napoleon's bidet and this is true, he had a silver goat bidet that I guess he would even like take with him on his travels when he would go places like pack the bidet, we must have the bidet because they weren't hooked up to anything so they were quite, well, I mean, probably heavy

but still portable. I would get to highlight by the way, Napoleon's bidet, excellent band name, free to use. But he left his and his will to his son, and I found Napoleon's will and found that that is true. Oh wow, grody. That's extremely grody.

Well, it's nothing else. That's the grotesque thing. That's very grody. You know how, you know how in far and away, Nicole Kidman brings that big suitcase full of spoons to sell in the new world so that she can like make her way. Like she has a giant suitcase full of spoons. No, she loses on her way. No one's ever seen far and away.

Do you know at the end of far and away it says, thanks for watching Zidney, it's in the credits. He'll be the only one that has seen it and remembered remembered far away. I've seen it maybe more than once but she brings the spoons not to use the spoons but to sell the spoons because they're like silver, you know, they're expensive. And so anyway, maybe that was Napoleon's thought. It was like if all else fails, son, you can sell the bidet. Sell this bidet to the silver bidet to the conheads. Marie Antoinette even had a bidet in her prison cell it is reported that they were so important for royalty that even before you execute someone you could not deprive them of their

right to freshen up their genital. It's a basic human right. Yes, to keep their perineum fresh. It seems like it briefly caught on in France kind of spread throughout. Mainly like rich people in royalty had access to these things because you had to have a maid and they were kind of associated with that. But it seemed to have died down somewhat. I don't know if that was some of them, some people tied to the revolution, the French revolution. And so that at that point,

like because it was really just a royalty thing, it didn't spread much beyond them at that point, except for in, it went to other parts of Europe. So like at this point, it's weird because you kind of can follow the history of the bidet a lot more closely in Italy, like Italy and Portugal and there were other places throughout Europe where it actually became way more widespread and was seen in everybody's home and like

was much more, whereas like in France, it kind of went away for a while and then came back. Now during the time that it wasn't as popular in France, there was still one place where you could always find it and that was in brothels. And so that would lead to a really, as we move into American history with the Badei, this is really... A tie to... This is why, if you're wondering, as an American, why do we not have Badeis? This is going to get it to that answer.

It wasn't until the 1800s that you saw them migrate from the bedroom to the bathroom because of a bidet initially would have been in the bedroom because why keep it in the bathroom. It's not hooked anything. Yeah, except I mean a little privacy might be nice. Oh, I mean, just shut your bedroom door. Yeah, but if you're preparing for the making of love, you're also thinking, I mean, like, remember, if we're giving it into the history of French royals, like some of them held court while sitting on the toilet. Like, we could revisit the royal fistula.

I'd rather not. But anyway, so they moved into the bathroom as we began to see indoor plumbing. Ah, okay. Because then you could have something with like taps on it. You know, you actually have something that like had water. It was still used for generally the same idea. Genetically the same idea did you say?

Genetically or generally. And from there they spread throughout Europe, Asia, Latin America. A lot of different parts of the world started to take up the practice of putting installing a bidet next to the toilet in the bathroom. That became very commonplace, many places. It's funny, even as kind of jumping ahead, there were like, it became part of a standard code as you would, like, if you're going to put in a new bathroom somewhere by the 70s, there were certain countries where like, it was standard. You had to put a bidet in. It was just part of the thing.

This isn't up to code. No, you don't have a bidet, you don't have a bidet. You're unhated. You're unhated. Somehow Americans were clueless about all this until World War II. And that was the first opportunity that Americans really had to see a lot of bidets and to see them in action and see what they could do.

And as I have already alluded to, where did they see these bidets? They saw them in brothels. So this begins the puritanical American response to the day. Well, I'm eager to hear about it. And Justin, I'm going to tell you about it right after we go to the Belly Department. Let's go. The medicines, the medicines that ask you let my God for the mouth. Quip, the makers of the Quip, I'll answer toothbrush.

They want you to know that no matter what brand you use, if you have good habits, you are good. I think that that's nice. They're looking out for your health. That's more important to them than whatever tooth brush you buy. But you know what? Quip does make it easier. If you want to try to improve your brushing habits,

sometimes people brush for, let's say, 30 to 40 seconds and then they get bored. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't eat while I'm doing this. The sucks, I'm gonna quit. When go do something else. You sound like you have personal experience with this. I heard my friend Dustin told me about this.

And you really should be brushing for two minutes, you know, and equally around the mouth. What clip does is that it does these little pulses. Where every 30 seconds it pulses and lets you know to like switch to different quadrant of your mouth like your upper left part of your mouth or whatever. And then at two minutes it like, so you you know, hey, I'm done brushing.

It's great. And what they do, so that's one way they help you improve your habits. They also help you by switching out your brush heads regularly on the Dennis recommended schedule. So they just ship them straight to you and you sign up with Quip. The same you won when it's time to switch them out. They got floss and two, three, three fills too. Every three months and they're shipping's free.

That's cool. You really have to tell your friend Dustin Gackelroy about that. If you like Dustin Gackelroy, want to improve your habit head to get quip, q-i-p, dot com slash saw bones right now, get your first refill free. That's get Q U I P dot com slash saw bones. Quip. It's the good habits company. Yeah. That's nice. Uh, so you learn how to brush your teeth.

You're brushing, um, every day, two minutes, loving it. Want to tell people kind of like a brag about like how good you are at brushing. What's the best way to share your dental hygiene habits with the world? Well, my friends, it's to start your own dental hygiene website where you talk about how great you are at brushing your teeth. Kind of a brag. How do you start to put together a website?

Nobody knows, except one company is brave enough to reveal the secrets to us, the layman. It's Squarespace. They have the guts to share the secrets, the keys to the castle and to help you and me, the common folk, make our own dental hygiene websites. Everybody's using this thing. Gamers, coaches, coaches of gamers, healthcare professionals, gamers of coaches. Gamers of coaches, people who trick coaches into playing Barch easy with them.

Sports teams, everybody is using Squarespace and it can help you to publish content with your new high-falutin website. You can promote your business and announce projects. Whatever you want to do with website, you can promote your business, and announce projects, whatever you wanna do with website. You can do it with Squarespace, plus they got built-in e-commerce functionalities, you can sell stuff, and 24-7 award-winning customer support,

which is wonderful. So right now, check out squarespace.com slash installbones for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code, installbones to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Now, Sydney, you were about to tell me the coming to America portion of bidet or rather perhaps the not coming to America. I've portioned the

story. If you read about bidets, if you learn about bidets, you get to this weird moment where you ask yourself, while the rest of the world was adopting the use of the baday, and especially as plumbing made that so easy to do, why did Americans not follow suit? It is wild if you think about it. We're very big into pampering ourselves, very big into comfort, luxury, luxury, big into hygiene for all of the people. It's like a big thing over here. It's kind of weird that we're not down with the days.

So this probably, I mean, who knows that everyone's individual reason in their head and back in the 1800s and 1900s, but it probably relates to the fact that we do not in this country, shockingly enough, have a great track record about being open when we're discussing issues of sex or nakedness or anything like that. We tend to have quite prudish roots. So, yes, so you can imagine as these soldiers are coming home from Europe after World War 2, the only place that they've seen these things, whether or not they thought they were great.

Let's go ahead and suppose that there was a soldier who thought they were just amazing. All of us was great. I felt so fresh. I want one of these every time I go to the bathroom. But where did you use it? Well, honey. So what you're suggesting is that all of our GI's came home to to a person, all our GI's come home and they're

just wandering around thinking, man, I wish I could admit I knew what Badez was. I'd love to have one and I just can't admit that I know what they were. If one other person would admit that they knew what Badez were, then we could all finally admit that we love Bade's and we saw them in problems. The way the human mind works is so much murkier and convoluted than that. It's not that straightforward.

People came home with these ideas that they use these things that were sort of taboo. Like it was part of the whole thing. The sex was taboo. The were sort of taboo. Like, it was part of the whole thing. The sex was taboo, the bidet was taboo. I can't talk about any of it, or if I do, I'll say you won't believe what those wild French people have over there. Which is what it-

The brothels. Well, it's what it became. It became this idea that like, well, certainly, as Americans, we would never use this, but you know how French people are when it comes to the sex stuff. And that's how it, that was the thought of it. It became associated with sex and with sinful behavior and with things that, you know, good, clean American fun wouldn't allow.

And this was further perpetuated by the fact that at this time in history, a popular but completely ineffective form of contraception was douching. In both American and British history at this point in time, douching with various substances after sexual intercourse was thought to prevent pregnancy. Of course, this is absolutely not true. This does not work. Please do not try this. We did a whole, I think we've talked about this before in our contraception episode.

This doesn't work in any way. But a bidet was one way that one could theoretically douche following sexual intercourse and prevent pregnancy. So not only have we now associated bidets with there's something that Europeans do, they might be associated with sex and maybe sex with someone other than your married partner, but also maybe you use it to try to prevent pregnancy after you've had this unprotected sex with someone other than your married part. Okay. Yeah.

So at this point, they just became this very shameful thing in the minds of Americans. Weird. We don't understand it. We don't know them. We don't have them. Let's just stay away from them. And people tried to like move beyond this all throughout, if you look throughout American history, there have been attempts by various people seeking money. Just trying to make a run at the days. Yes, you know who even tried was John Harvey Kellogg. The business surprise me. Yes, he was all about a lot of bad, shameful, sexual ideas.

Sure. Yes, he... The original change in the sense that, yes, in the sense that he was, he was putting shame on people for the very sexual normal desires and he tried to introduce something that he called the anal douche. Hmm. That sounds great. Yeah.

Great. Yeah. It was, it was very similar to a bidet. It was actually like a separate shower head attachment. And that's, it's very much like what you'll find throughout the Middle East is that as that version of the Bade is like a separate little attachment that you can spray everything down with. So it was the same but I'm people just didn't like it nobody in the US. I don't like this. Wanted that. Harvey? I don't like this. The dish, the anal dish you said was good and I would like

turns out egg on your face. I don't like this anal dish. Or even if people did like the anal dish, also all that stuff you said about masturbation is really wrong. And you do some really wack stuff and you're a bad guy. And I've eaten so much yogurt this week, John Harvey Kellogg. Your corn flakes are okay, but that's like the only thing you did,

well they're not good, they're just fine. Corn flakes are fine, but everything's like the only thing you did right. Well, they're not good. They're just fine. And the corn flakes are fine, but everything else you do was pretty bad. Your elf on a shelf cereal is, well, you won't make it for like 150 years, but when you do, it will be subpar as well. Sorry. Uh, he's a bad guy. I wrote a whole essay once about how he's a bad guy. It's in our book.

It's in our book. Anyway, in the essays, a weird way. I wrote a whole essay once about how he's a bad guy. It's in our book. It's in our book. Anyway, in the essay is a weird way in framing it. It's just part of our book, you know, it's it. Why didn't want to, I want to talk about it. I was shamelessly. I want to talk about it. I want to act my own log for the theater.

I called myself as fuck. It's part of my book. In the 60s, the American Badeg company made a run at it, as you can tell. That was what they have. Led by Arnold Cohen. He tried to convince everybody, hey, Badegs are great. And I don't know why we don't have them yet, but like, it's time. I just say my business.

It is time. I think that you all are going to love these. It was basically just a little sprayer on a toilet seat that you could attach to your existing toilet, which is a better, that's a better pitch for the American public because then you don't have to like add a whole other thing to your bathroom that has to be plumbed in everything. This is just something that could be attached, which is very similar as a lot of people may know to what is sold in a lot of places today, including in the US. Americans still didn't like it, but Japan loved it.

And this idea that the American Biday Company with Arnold Cohen had led to what we now know today is the washlet, which includes the like super toilet seat, like the amazing robot toilet. The weight of the dude adds on it. Yeah, with, I mean, you know, you can, it can spray you off, of course, it can dry your bottom, it can deodorize things, the seat will stay warm. I mean, it's a whole, it, this was the prototype that eventually caught on like wildfire in Japan and gave birth to all these, you know

Sadly the American, super toilets American Badei company Couldn't quite cut it here, but they renamed to ABC just shortening and now they're making great programming That's not true like short time that. That would be interesting. That would be an interesting factor. That was the next thing you said. Yes, that is not true though. There was a bidet or a washlet advertised on Shark Tank though. If you want that tie-in. There, thank you. Yes. It's self-ferotional though. At this point though, it was still a pretty expensive thing. And a lot of the ones that you'll find the like super high-end fancy, bidet slash washlet, whatever you wanna call it,

something that attaches to your pre-existing toilet, it, you'll find very expensive ones. I mean, there are three, 400 bucks more, even some of them. Yes, they're quite pricey. And this was another, you know, this was a problem, if you're trying to like break in widespread to the American market, a lot of people are like,

no, you know what, my toilet seat is fine. I don't think I need that. I just don't think you can get past the fact that your neighbors don't have one. And it makes it seem like you, at this point in history, I mean, we like perception and keeping up with the genesis is everything like the idea that you would have this and other people didn't need it,

it seemed like you need more help there. You know what I mean? Like listen, you don't understand what I'm doing in there. I can't, a simple paper. I gotta get a hazmat team in there, okay? We're still so bad about talking about any of these things, right?

Like we still have so much stigma when it comes to just like normal bodily functions and what everybody does. That, I mean, you can see where, yeah, why do you have a weird toilet? What's up with you? What's wrong with your butt? What is your butt doing that my butt isn't? There are new additions to the market now, obviously,

where they're more affordable, they're way easier to install now. And it's definitely a growing market. You will find in the last like five or six years, every year more bidets and washlets are being sold in the US. On two, it's kind of two different ways that they're pitching it. It's interesting because I found some that are marketed more towards like like the boomers, like the older Americans,

as like, this is the new luxury that you are not treating yourself to. The rest of the world knows of this great luxury, and you have not yet experienced it. And your bottom is in need. You must try this. And then I've also seen it pitched more as like to millennials as like a self-care thing. This is something that you could be doing for your body to like take better care of yourself and feel better every day. And the newer ones are making it more affordable to do so. So like treat yourself. Get a bidet. Yes. But both are seeming to make some inroads because you're seeing these,

especially these that attach to your toilet already, that's a lot easier to pitch than like have a bidet installed in your bathroom. You're seeing them more and more spread. The other thing that is intriguing to younger people especially is this better for the environment. I mean, I can say if it's using electricity, maybe not, but probably stays on paper for sure. So, these are the answers and I am not an expert in this arena. I've read all about bidets and tried to figure out what the truth there is because depending

on who you ask, you'll get different answers. But in some ways, the subject issues are like less, less, if you run into certain problems. I definitely wanna address that. Hold that thought for a second. First of all, the paper, obviously it cuts down on paper usage clearly. I mean, even if you use a bidet

and then kinda wipe as a follow up, because if the seat doesn't have a drying function, you're gonna need to at least wipe the water off. Even if it's cleaned you completely there's your butt sweat. That's unpleasant. Yeah, no one's out. No, you don't want to put your panties and your pants on and then go out into the world with the wet butt. So you still might use some toilet paper, although the new ones with drying function seek to completely eliminate toilet paper. Most people still use some toilet paper, it seems. So it does save trees for sure in that respect. With typical usage, you consume less water in a bidet cycle

than you do in making that same amount of, like, theoretical toilet paper you would use. So, like, you actually save water with, like, typical use of a bidet. I know that sounds strange, but it apparently there's so much water used in the toilet paper making process. So if toilet paper didn't exist, that wouldn't be true, but if we're talking about an alternative,

people are gonna clean their butts, right, with something. So if it's an alternative toilet paper, it actually uses less water, which I didn't expect. So good for trees, good for water. But if you start throwing in, although like perks, the seat warming and the deodorizing and some of them have lights in the bowl and all kinds of things. A necessary. Is that, I mean, that the electricity and everything you're using at that point, and then you might, it may either end up neutral or maybe even to the negative. I don't know. I mean, just seeing there is the toilet light comes on. There's my GP.

It's for aim for aim for people who pee standing up. Uh-huh. If they go pee in the middle of the night and don't want to turn the light on. Oh, I just the just the water lights up and then you know right where you're I guess. I mean, I mean, I guess if you sit down too, but... It's like, I see a... But yeah, that's either way. It's for night usage and not having to turn on the bathroom light. I just believe in myself and follow my heart.

You miss a lot. Your heart is not always guiding you in the right direction. The other thing is, if the alternative is those flushable wipes. Oh yeah, those aren't flushable. No. And we probably... There's a lot of things that you can flush. That don't make it...

I mean, you should. It's like when I talk to Charlie about the difference between like yes, Plato is non-toxic, but that is not the same as being edible. So if the alternative is wipes, that's not a great alternative, because even flushable wipes have caused problems for septic systems. They create something called fat burgs. Why? Like icebergs, but they're made of the fat that comes out of human waste, combined with the little fibers as the flushable wipes break down. I actually don't know.

Create these giant fat burgs. That have been like, there was one in London that was like 10 tons to it. That clogged the septic system and that it cost them tons of money to fix. And there's estimated that there's another one still underneath the city that is even like, that is like 100 tons or something like this giant fat

bird. Anyway, flushable wipes are probably not a great idea. Tell me, admit that you made that up. No, flushable wipes are probably not a great idea. Tell me, admit that you made that up. No, I did. Like dark twisted cleft barker style. I would say whatever your whatever your plan is for taking care of your butt after you go to the bathroom, flushable wipes are probably not our best bet. All right, fine. I'll just flush all these wipes down the toilet. Then

they're so terrible. The The big thing is the health. I mean, that's what we got to get to, right? The medical. Yes. What do people say? So, there are a lot of companies that advertise them as also good for you medically. Not only are they a nice thing and they get you clean

and you feel good and they treat yourself. All those things that are fine to say. They also say that they have medical benefits. Some of the things they say are they can prevent urinary tract infections. They can help treat hemorrhoids. They can help treat anal fishers. They can help treat rectal prolapse. Anal fisciela is anal itching, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn's disease, ostamies, and that they also reduce bacteria on your butt and in your vagina,

and that this is a positive thing to reduce the bacterial load in those areas of your body. This is already true for me. So let's break this down. First of all, as you can imagine, when it comes to like actual studies, nothing, right? Well, and as one doctor, as I was reading about this pointed out,

imagine the control group. If you're gonna do a blinded study, you have to have people who used a bidet and people who thought they used a bidet, but didn't. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hey, that was my sink. Well, how do you...

Get back in here. How do you spray water on someone's butt? It's just a cardboard hole in the floor and I got the Super Sucker below it. And that even that one worked, because that's simulating a bit down. And that's what you have to make people think that water was just sprayed on their butt,

but water wasn't actually sprayed on their butt. I do like a, I don't know the exact word, but like a cultural study because the two cultures or so, like if you saw like a lower rate of some of these things in countries that use bidets a lot. Yes, but you can't control the variables then. If you have, if you have like the, how many other confounders might be thrown in there that would actually change the rate of those things, it'd be a really hard study.

I mean, you could make those comparisons, but it would be very hard to draw any kind of conclusive, you know, anything more than correlation, any causation would be very difficult. But as I said, there's no real evidence for any of it. Aside from the fact that the studies would be hard to design, and not a lot of them have even been done, they're very few, they're very small. If you have an itchy butt,

go on. Varitis A&I,, if your butt itches. And you have been told that we can't find anything wrong. You've been to your doctor. They can't find any kind of infection or parasite or anything else causing it. And they tell you like, maybe it's an irritant and maybe all things should just keep things away from your butt until it feels better. I guess maybe it would help with that.

This is more convenient than like having to take a shower every time you poop. That's right. But most anything else we're going to talk about, there's really no. And you can make an argument that like it's healthier in the sense that if I'm not wiping, I'm my hands are staying cleaner, right? If I'm not touching the area where the poop was, then there's less likelihood that I'm going to get any of that fecal bacteria on my hands and touch anyone with it. But you could also just wash your hands.

And again, most people do still wipe at least some after they use a bit of it. There was a study where they tried to see if they could help with things like hemorrhoids, because hemorrhoids have a lot to do with excess pressure down there. So they did a study where they measured pressure. They inserted a pressure probe in the rectum of patients of participants to see what they have. Hopefully paid participants. Well, I mean informed. I don't know. They were informed to see if they had more or less pressure without the use of the bidet. And they found that there was less pressure

in the rectal area when you used a bidet, which you would think would mean fewer hemorrhoids, but like there is no way that from that tiny study you could say so bidets prevent hemorrhoids. Right. Do they subjectively make you itchless or hurtless? Maybe. I mean, anecdotally, I've heard that reported Do they subjectively make you itchless or hurtless? Maybe.

I mean, anecdotally, I've heard that reported that, like, well, my hemorrhoids feel better if I use the bidet to clean up than if I use toilet paper, perhaps. But I mean, again, it's very subjective. I think that's fine, but to say they're going to prevent hemorrhoids, we don't have enough data right now. There was another small study that suggested that perhaps this would be really great for use in the care of like elder adults who have difficulty getting themselves clean after bathroom. And there was, it showed some positive results, but they still, they still needed someone there to assist them afterwards in wiping. So it didn't completely,

you know, it's not like it does not give independence. It was, it was a good thing, So it didn't completely, you know, it's not like it does not give independence. Right. Right. It was a good thing, but it didn't completely return them bathroom independence. Me too. The other thing I would say is that, and all these other things, there's no studies. I mean, there is no way, like to say that it prevents UTIs, to say that it does anything for irritable bowel syndrome. I just don't, they're not basing that on anything, certainly. And obviously, as I've already said, is not contraception, it will not prevent pregnancy. You all at home should have figured that out.

I bet even people at the time were like, I don't know, I'll try it. I'm already squatting. But probably, I think I'm probably host. The, there is potential for harm, I will say. And some of these are pretty obvious and easy to avoid. One is, there was a case where somebody burned themselves where they turned the water too hot.

So awkward, don't visit. Yeah, so obviously, if the water is too, please don't put any part of your body in hot and hot. Don't overclock your, your bidet to do the, sculling temps. It also, you can adjust the pressure on some of them and too high pressure. Blow a hole through your butt, second hole.

Well, you can damage the sphincter activity, like the sphincter itself. So like too high pressure could be dangerous, but I mean, these things, typically you can control for. I mean, these are kind of rare things, but you do need to be aware of them if you're going to use a bidet. There is a possibility, some people have brought up, we've talked about before, like the bacterial

cloud that happens when you flush the toilet. Remember, we talked about that. Oh, yeah, because it shoots the bacteria up there. And the dryer could do that as well. Like if your bidet has a drying function, it could blow. Just blows the bacterial Pot up in the air but but there's again as I said in that episode There's no evidence that this is doing anything to anybody. It sounds gross. It feels gross

But like as far as people actually getting sick from it. It happens when you're flushing anyway, right? Yeah I mean, there's no evidence of that There there is I will say I would push back really hard against. You'll see places say this will help remove that extra bacteria from your butt, your perineum, your vagina around your urethra, that whole area. There's no, first of all, no, you don't need to do that. There's no extra bacteria. Once you have removed the feces, you're good. The bacteria that are there need to be there, the bacteria that are in a vagina need to be

in a vagina, the bacteria. I mean, this is all normal flora. If there is a problem and you're having pain or discharge or whatever, please go see a doctor. But as far as the idea that like if you're healthy and feel fine and you're not having any symptoms, you still might have too much bacteria in your butt or in your vagina. That's not, there's no basis for that. So like the idea that you would need to do anything, including a bidet,

to remove that bacteria is totally false. And if you look at like some bidets have a rear, or it's also called sometimes the family setting, the rear setting or the front setting. Get everybody on the bidet. And then they also might have a front setting. That one's just for your parents, not a family anymore. This is the private setting.

The front setting is to again wash any of the front genitals that whatever your front genitals are to wash those. And it has also sometimes been pushed as a, hey, this is really good if you have a vagina, because it can clean out your vagina, sort of like a, like a douche would. And as we have covered on this show before, well, there is no need for a cisgender woman to doosh. Right. cisgender women do not need to doosh their vaginas. Your vagina has the bacteria has for a good reason. That floor is important. Dushing has been shown to be bad. It is unnecessary. And it furthers this myth that the vagina needs to be

crowled. Needs to be like kept proper for anyone else. I mean, it like that there's something inherently wrong with it, that it's gross or it smells bad or that there's that you need to keep it maintained. No, I mean, like just be clean, like the rest of you. And that's it. You do not need to douche if you're a cisgender woman and you have a vagina, you don't need to douche. I make that distinction because it is important to know

that for trans women who have had vaginoplasty, they, there is a necessity to douche. And there, there's a protocol for that. But that, that's an important distinction to make is that for a cisgender woman, there's no need to do she or vagina for a transgender woman with a vagina. You may well and probably do need a douche. So listen to your doctor. If your doctor is saying that, I'm not contradicting them. Listen to your doctor. If you have a mobility

issue, could a bidet make it easier to keep clean? Probably. Probably. But again, I'm this is this is me guessing. Sure. Probably. Probably. But again, this is me guessing. Sure. Probably, maybe. Case by case, I would guess. Yes, I think it's very individual. And so I'd say like, as far as on the medical end, they're pretty neutral. I think that the potential for harm from a bidet is fairly low if you used appropriately

considering all the settings and everything we talked about. But I think that the idea that it's going to cure or treat or prevent anything, I really don't have any data that would make me say that. I would say it's fine. I mean, I have now used one. It's nice. It's nice. You feel clean.

I guess. So you come down at clean. I guess. So you come down at neutral. I come down on it. Well, medically, I just, I think there's no harm, no, no, no help really. It's like, it's not a medical device. How about that? Let's take it out of the medical realm.

Not everything has to be medical. Not everything has to be for your health. Some things can just be, this feels nice. I enjoy it. I would like to have it on my toilet and I'm using it appropriately. And I'm not expecting it to do anything for me medically. It just is a nice thing. All right. Well, we've heard from Sydney. And now we're ready to begin my three-hour lecture on the benefits of the day. If you look at the first slide, Badei saved my life. That's right folks.

Strap in. Did Badei save your life? No, but it is nice. That's good. I enjoy the Badei. I enjoy the Badei. That's gonna do a for us here on Sobins, the podcast we were recording currently.

I don't know why I had to sum it up the title of it, but I know it. Don't act like I don't know what it's called. If you want a bidet or watch it, there are a lot of affordable models out there now. And there should be no stigma, but they're also not going to like, cure you of anything.

Yeah. Thank you so much to the taxpayers for these additional medicines as the intro and outro of our program. Thanks to the maximum fun network for having us as a part of their podcasting family. Let's see, we have a book that we wrote. We referenced it during this show. It's called The Sawbots Book. You can find it wherever books are sold and lots of people like it.

And maybe you will too. We're real proud of it. Is that gonna do it for a second? I think that's it. That is going to do it for us. Oh, you know what's something we have not mentioned yet. And I want to get these dates exactly right because I don't want to mislead anyone.

On February 19th, we are going to be at the Taft Theater in Cincinnati, Ohio. February 19th with my brother and brother me. If you go to bit.ly4tslashbecomethemonster, you can get tickets to see that show. It takes like 40 bucks, and you can come see it. We're doing the adventure zone the night after if you wanna come see that too. But that is going to actually do it for us for this week.

So until next time, my name is Justin McAroy. And Sydney McAroy. And as always, don't drill a hole in your head. Alright! supported.