Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Sawbones: Home Alone 2

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

What would really happen to someone stuck in all of Kevin McCallister's traps? Dr. Sydnee and Justin return to discuss the even more outrageous and even more dangerous injuries the Sticky Bandits sustain in Home Alone 2.Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers https://taxpayers.bandcamp.com/

Saubones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You're worth it. that weird growth. You're worth it. Alright, time is about to books. One, a marital tour of misguided medicine. for the mouth. Hello, everybody and welcome to Sobhoun. It's a marital tour of misguided medicine. I'm a co-host Justin McRoy. And I'm Sydney McRoy.

It is the season. Is the season for what, Justin? Well, to watch the Home Alone movies repeatedly. I'm not big on rewatching movies, but Home Alone 1 and Home Alone 2. These are films that I will rewatch every year. I see, and that's why I'm always willing to watch them again with you because I love to rewatch movies, and they're so few that you will agree to keep rewatching with me.

It's one of my favorite movies to think about. It's one of favorite movies to watch both. Which is superior in your opinion. Okay. In your opinion. Home Alone 1 is a better movie. The themes that acting, the script, literally all of it is better. Home Alone 2 is funnier because those poor men.

Well, I agree that Home Alone 2 is funnier to an extent. Oh, and Tim Curry. Sorry, Tim Curry. Well, I'm not Tim Curry. Well, I'm not Tim Curry. Well, Oh, and Tim Curry. Sorry. Tim Curry, Elements to Proceedings. He's a light Rob Schneider down point. So I'm not counting Tim Curry because he is undone by his proximate. Now see, now see though, if that's the kind of math you're going to do with homelun too, here's the problem. Yeah. So here has Tim Curry. That's great. But as you said, has Rob Schne are also cameo by Donald Trump.

So it's tricky. Many years ago in 20 forever ago, we did a review of homalone, all the injuries just for you. You can get back into the annals and check that out if you want to. But this year, this time, homalone two. That's right. Well, it's because one, it just seemed appropriate and two, the injury, like they ramp it up in emlon two. Yeah. That's, I mean, generally speaking, like they're definitely, and if you go back and listen to the episode about homelone one, they're definitely like fatal injuries. They're already dead.

They're already dead. Yeah. From homelone one. They're definitely like fatal injuries. Yeah, but overall, I mean, there are a lot of injuries that are like, yes, that's painful. I mean, stepping on glass ornaments would be incredibly painful, but it's not going to kill you. And I would say like the average fatality potential of the injuries in Home Alone 2 is higher. I'd also like to note that, okay, just to briefly, in case you haven't seen Home Alone 2, yeah, that would be weird. Home Alone 1, the kids trapped in the house and the robbers are trying to break in and he creates much traps. Yeah.

But in Home Alone 2, he's trying to stop the sticky bandits now. They're no longer the wet bandits from robbing a toy store. And he does so by lowering them to his uncle's house under renovation. Yes. Where he has already set up a man trap. Yes, but he lowers them to the house. Yes, he lowers them there to the trap he has created to kill them.

Yes. Yes. So I think that's maybe Jake's all. It is more sinister is what I'm saying. Like not only are the injuries we're going to discuss, like up in the, he was in the, it's also really important. No threat. They try to justify this.

Actually, there's an amazing scene in the movie where Kevin's like, I'm just going to dog pound it out of New York. I don't know what I'm doing here. This sucks. I'm just a little kid. And then he hears about the sticky band. It's planned to rob the toy store. And he sees in order to justify the things that he's going to do, they have a wild sea where Kevin's like outside a hospital where there's a sick kid in the hospital that Kevin like makes eye contact with. And he's like, I gotta kill these guys. Well, because what and he also has to learn like it's a whole thread because he's in the toy store. He meets the toy store owner. He's nice. He's so nice. He's so nice. He finds out later that all of the

wild amount of time with the transaction with the boy. Like a 20 minute, it's like week before Christmas. And this guy's like, let me do you about turn around. They're beautiful. There's 50 people behind him like, please let me buy Power Rangers. I want to go, please. So he has that interaction. He learns that the proceeds from the Christmas,

like specifically Christmas Eve, I don't know. Yes. Specifically Christmas Eve proceeds go to the Children's Hospital. So he learns that piece of information. Then he has the moment where he sees the child in the Children's Hospital. Mm-hmm. And that's when he's like, I can't let this happen.

I will murder these men. This is not going to be a popular opinion, but I will say that all Signs point to the fact that the sticky bandits have chosen wisely. They can Absorb the loss of this robbery. This is a business in the toy industry that is giving away its biggest night of profits They're doing fine. They're doing just fine Well, but the but see the thing is like what Kevin understands is that if the Siky Band is take that money,

that's a great out for what is it? Duncan's toys. Yes. Duncan's toy chest to just say, oh, we don't have any money for the children's hospital. I don't have any money there. So they stole it all. We don't have extra.

We don't have other money. So anyway, they create this system, this, this wild system, where basically by the transitive properties of film logic, the sticky bandits are breaking into a hospital for sick kids and stealing all their money and Kevin is stealing their, their toys. No, it's their money. They get from the toy. So it is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they don't give the sick children money. They buy something for them with the money. So they're not selling money. Madison. And like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, Madison toys. This is what I'm saying. To justify what Kevin is about to do these guys that, that, the, the film has to say, look,

these guys are basically, like, hurting sick kids. Basically, if you think about it by robbing this place, so Kevin has to kill them. And he's, and they say it later, they even make a point because spoilers, they do get caught and arrested by the police. They do survive in order to get arrested. But they say like, we were just trying to steal all the toy stores charity money. We were just, we know, we are, we know exactly what we're doing. It was extra that they had already. It was extra. Now, there are some like minor injuries. Like as soon as you, as soon as you realize,

like the sticky bandits have escaped from prison and are loose in New York, where it's also where Kevin accidentally ended up. Right. They start like getting into high jinx right away. Like, Marv already has covered his hand in tape. We debated a long time as this duct tape is a masking tape. It's like masking tape. And like is using it to steal things quickly because it's sticky. Yes. They think stick to it. He steals lots of mainly

like winter outerwear accessories. Yeah. That's the main thing he can steal well, are like scarves, he takes a lot of care months. Lots of hats. Yeah. Lots of hats. But like, there's some stuff with that, because like, he, he almost accidentally steals a woman's purse because the hand gets stuck to it in a crowd and then he gets slapped in the face.

He falls while he's ice skating soon after. These are minor injuries. We're not worried about this. The first time that Kevin starts trying to murder them is when they first see each other, the three of them encounter and realize, oh my gosh, we're all here. This is wild. They're instantly like, we're going to kill this kid in the middle of this busy sidewalk Yeah, they like walk right over to him like gonna execute. Yeah, yeah, like they're gonna murder him right there

I'm here in blind broad daylight on this busy New York sidewalk, which it was I guess it was a different time in New York City This was this was only Trump can get away with that. They should know better so they chase him and Kevin stops to buy what is presumably some fake jewelry being sold at a table on the sidewalk, buy some giant strings of pearls. It's just classic, right? Yeah. Breaks the pearls off the string. They go all over the sidewalk. Yeah. The thieves are chasing him and they slip. The old crime alley special. Yeah, and they fall on their backs, which is like, again, definitely survivable. I don't think there's anything to suggest.

They're getting older. I don't know how good since they've been in prison. Their diet's been in terms of calcium intake and vitamin D. So I don't think these are bone breaking falls. Certainly in someone who was osteop osteophenic osteoporotic I'd be more worried But I think so far. It's just like I mean if they hit their heads that would have been bad But they don't appear to yeah, they're always very good at falling with their necks just flexed enough for

the back of their head Don professionals doing that is not mr. Pesci and Mr. Stern. It is interesting that nobody else falls on the pearls though. They're very targeted. Because it's wild and no one would ever fall on them and they had to try really hard to fall on them. I don't think you slip on pearls if you walk on them, but I've never tried.

Well, it's also weird because it's like gravel, so I think it's fine. Like, I'm a ballroom, I could see where this is to be an issue, but I don't think I'm the gravel. It's gonna be a problem. I thought we can't get into the physics of whether or not these things would happen in the movie, but that's the whole thing. Kevin gets them both punched right after that. One point I want to make about the movie in general,

and Justin, you actually pointed this out initially. Early on, when Harry and Marv realized they're gonna have to face off against Kevin again. Marv is like, who cares is just a kid? What's he gonna do? It's no big deal, which is wild. Yeah, that is wild, then he says that. Yes, because he was killed previously in Home Alone 1 repeatedly by a child, a small boy.

Right, yes, and so, and generally they like, they just walk right into all the traps in Home Alone 2. They show very little hesitancy. There's like one moment that we'll get to where they try to actively avoid traps from the first movie. But the rest of the time, they seem to have no memory whatsoever of the previous capabilities of this murderous child. And I think that suggests that there was permanent damage, perhaps, from some of the injuries

they sustained, especially all the head injuries they sustained in the first movie. Yes. Maybe some memory loss as a result. They, there is no way anybody would say kids aren't dangerous. This man has been hurt by a child so badly. There's just no justification for it. And from the first jump. So he, so they're breaking into the toy store. Kevin gets the cops there by throwing a brick through the window. And they chase him through the broken window. And when they come out of the toy store already, we got like a seesaw set up. So they're like,

Marv jumps on one side. and then Harry jumps, no, Marv, anyway, Harry gets shot up in the air. Yeah. That's what happens, because it's seesaw, it's like a cartoon sort of thing. He flies up in the air,

he lands on top of a car. The car is absolutely demolished. Demolished by Harry's body. Yeah. Dripesi falling from the sky. Um, I would say at this point in the film, there's a high likelihood that Harry is dead. If you think about the force that it would take

to crush a car. Right, but he has transferred the force to the car, you know? Well, but yeah, there is also a force being applied on his human body. Yes, but he strikes the car. Yeah, that's true. And that's, so now is it enough for us to shatter every bone? No, no.

The crumple might be good because I think the crumple is maybe patting him a little bit. Like pound for pound, like your bones are actually stronger than like stainless steel. So like your bones are really strong, but then there's also like density to consider. And then like that's and then and the bones vary and it depends on how you impact, right? But one way or another, like you're getting some broken bones, you're getting some serious contusions from this, you have to start worrying about like, you know, the condition of internal organs, like what did your spleen hit with enough impact to lacerate it, you know, or gonna have some internal bleeding as a result of this,

you don't walk away from something like this. You don't just walk away. Period, the end. The next part, so they make it to the three story house where Kevin's uncle is in Paris, so he's not there, it's under renovation. It is the wildest renovation, by the way. Yeah, it is an absolute nightmare in terms of job size safety.

They're all over the world. They've just started in every room all at once. Yeah, there's no system. No, like they've torn out. The demo you pointed out, the demo is happening pretty haphazardly, just people tearing big holes in walls and walking away from the job. Yeah, and like that room just has a hole in the floor,

that wall and one exposed beam. And then this room has the stairs are gone. You can't access the basement anymore. Are there any contractor podcasts that love to hear their take on the job site here? It feels like just the general way it's being gone. If I walked into it, I would be like, are we sure this is it?

Are we sure? I don't know. Not my area of expertise, but I feel like this is not how it works. Yeah, we should start over. So anyway, Kevin's up on the roof and he's throwing bricks. I feel like this is like the classic scene from Hummelon too. I feel like it's the one you always think of.

In Hummelon one, for me, it's the paint cans. Is it? And in two, it's the bricks. The bricks are what I, as a kid, I had the first instance of me passing out from laughing, because I was laughing so hard. There's just nothing funnier than the fact that Daniel Stern gets hit with a brick and Joe Pesci keeps egging the child on and he keeps a hooking bricks at Daniel Stern who's turning in a stunner of a performance as a man who's been repeatedly hit by bricks.

There is something about the fact that the brick hits him on the forehead and multiple, he gets hit on the head by multiple bricks. And he is knocked to the ground certainly. And he's like, he does like sort of the cartoony like you can imagine there are stars around his head kind of expression. Yes, it's a very loony to insist. Exactly. But like, there's something very loony tins. Exactly. But there's something very disturbing to me

about the fact that the only injury is the little l-shaped outline of the corner of the brick on his head, and that's it. Somehow that looks worse. Somehow I look at that. It's like you're worried all the bleeding is happening inside of him. That's worse than if it was just a big hole or something. I don't know.

There's something about it that's like so sinister. So I, okay, physics was my weakest point of the big three sciences they make you take lots of to go to med school. I'm not saying they're the most important. I'm just saying that to go to med school, you got to take a lot of biology, a lot of chemistry, a lot of physics. Physics was my weakest. So I had to do a lot of researching

to get the right calculations to try to figure out the force of this brick hitting this guy's head. The effect of brick vis-à-vis skulls. Yeah, like pounds of force. And what would that do to a human skull? So if we estimate that it was about 30 feet, you told me that it was about 30 feet, you told me that it was about 30 feet.

I was going to the number of stories in the house. Generally at 10 feet per story is my calculus. I have no spatial reason back to the napkin mess. Yeah. I have no spatial reasoning. So this is not, I don't know. You could have said a hundred. You could have said five. Five I would have known was wrong. I would have known five was wrong. People can get in there. Yeah.

I'm taller than that. Okay. You know, you've noticed that you don't crouch all the time forever. You're thinking it's bigger than 5. It's bigger than 5. And you have jumped. So that's got to get us to 5. 8, 5, 9.

I don't know how high I go when I jump. And your dad exists. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up.

He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet up. He's like, that's 6 feet and four. Six four. But so six four is the one you could say for sure. There are taller people in the basketball industry. Baby, I can't tell you, spatial reasoning is not hard. It's just doing this a thousand times. So it's just like just instinct. Could my dad fit in this room?

Yes, that's the reason reason. That's the reason. When I look at distance, when I look at height, when I try to estimate size of any kind, I don't know. You just gotta be able to visualize your dad. Every, that's what everybody's doing. Pretty much. Yeah, visualize your dad.

Yeah, visualize your dad. Yeah, just visualize your dad. Yeah, visualize your dad. Okay, so the brick, I looked up, bricks are like, between four and five pounds, I don't know, depending on the kind of brick and size of brick. Good brick, bad bricks. Now, and we're assuming that it's like falling

at the speed of gravity, right? Like he dropped it. Now, okay. I started with this. Because if he put a more mustard on it, it's different than it's falling faster. So it's like about 54 pounds of force, 240 newtons if you like that kind of thing.

But I say 54 pounds because I know that in order to crush a human skull, and by the way, a lot, a lot, a lot, I can't emphasize a lot enough of people have Googled or asked on various answer forums, asking answer forums, how much pounds of force does it take to crush a human skull? This is a common question and I am concerned.

Although I also was trying to figure that out. Yeah, you're adding to the pile and you had pure intentions. I know, I'm part of it too, but there are a lot of us out there going, how much weight are you taking? Could I do it with my hands? That's a common one. Could a human crush a skull with their bare hands? That is a commonly Googled question.

So you're not alone. Sydney's there with you two friends in this curiosity of yours. This dark curiosity. And the answer is very wildly. I saw some journal, like actual medical journals citing like 520 pounds of force is what it takes to break a human skull. And then I saw other people who were scientifically calculating, like with strength and density and all this stuff of the bone and say, no, it's like 1100 pounds of force. And then it depends on the angle and then the part of the skull, like we're talking about like your frontal bone right there in the, his forehead, like right there in the

front of the skull is what we're talking about in this instance. And that's like a really thick heavy duty bone, right? You know, different parts of the skull might be different. Anyway, the point is it these individual bricks are probably not exerting enough pounds of force to crush his skull. Now, depending on the angle and how it hits, could they like get a tiny crack or a chip in the bone and cause damage, concussions, knock him out? All that's absolutely that's going to happen. Absolutely. There's going to be damage.

Absolutely. He's just not standing up and walking away after an injury like that. And certainly bleeding and all of that would be a concern. Absolutely. Like an epidural hematoma, you know, blood crushing the brain and then he could die. All of that. But it actually probably wouldn't just smash his skull.

I will note though, that if you watch the movie carefully, Kevin doesn't just drop all those bricks. He's hucking. He's throwing the bricks. Well, he's got to aim him. He's not a, you know, well, I'm just saying so that that throws off all the mass. That throws off all the mass. That throws off all the bricks. Well, he's got to aim him. He's not a, you know, Matt's genius. Well, I'm just saying so that that turns off all the

Matt's. That turns off all the maths, maths. I mean, not the mass. The mass is the same, but the maths are different. But it's bad. We can all agree. Science has to be unified in that it's bad.

So we have determined that before they've even entered the house of horrors, they are dead probably. Or at least like, like mortally wounded need to be in a hospital immediately, will not be able to survive whatever's coming next, but they're going to get in the house and I'm going to tell you what happens inside the house after we go to the building. Ah, let's go. That I skillet my cards for the mouse. Last week, the greatest generation, the comedy podcast about old Star Trek TV shows,

like Star Trek, the next generation, Teespace 9 and Voyager, just had its 500th episode. And greatest trek, the podcast about the new Star Trek shows like Strange New World's Lower Decks in Discovery, just had its 250th episode. So whether you have a task that's roughly 750 hours long or you want to learn about some of the production techniques that go into making one of the greatest franchises

in television history, you should give us a try either way. The greatest generation and greatest trek, the best-reviewed, most listened to Star Trek podcasts in the world. They're on maximum fun. Camera in a spasito here, comedian and host of Query. Every week I get to interview someone amazing

from the LGBTQIA plus community. Some Queros. I chat with them about their lives. community. Some Queeros. I chat with them about their lives, loves, careers, and more. I've talked to, you know, giant celebs, Tricks Himmital, Lena Weigh, Higgin, and Sarah Quinn, but also astronauts, reverens, nurses. It's funny, it gets deep, and hopefully it makes

you feel like you're part of something. Join me every Monday on Maximum Fun, to listen to Queery with Cameron Esposito. Okay, so somehow they are going to make it in the house despite the fact that like really Harry at this point has broken multiple bones and suffering internal injuries. And I mean, I don't know how he's walking. Marv is, I mean, has some severe brain damage more than likely. And perhaps some bleeding as well. He is going to try to open the door by pulling on the door knob,

which is attached to a string, which eventually attaches to a staple gun. And he gets stabled in the butt through the door. Now you noted that that probably wouldn't happen. I just think those staple guns, I mean, if it had been a nail gun, maybe I just, the staple guns lose force so fast, like they don't have the force to like embed in something across the room or something. It's got a pretty thick coat on. I just don't see it.

I don't, I think it would have, it might have stung for coat on. I just don't see it. I don't, I think it would, it might as stung for a second, but I don't think it would. See, and if it's hitting them in the, now the way that they make it, they make it look like it's right in the middle of his butt. Yeah. So like, have we possibly penetrated like the rectum? Like, is the anus involved? Yeah. I mean, we got a bigger deal of course. We got to talk about what's depicted on screen. Cause again, I don't know. If it just going into the cheek. I mean, that's going to hurt. But you just do just do the cheek just to kiss the cheek. That's no problem at all. Now, and then he turns around and of course, it is then it hits his weird that Marv's anus is ruined. So what you're about to say verbatim?

No, it's clear that Kevin is destroyed Marv's heinous. He gets a staple in the crotch area. I don't know in the jumble. He gets a staple to the jumble as our kids used to say. They know the right words now. They use the right words. All the time. Yes, they are trying to, I taught them all the right words. I'm sorry.

It's the right thing to do, by the way. Yeah. This is a little PSA. It's actually good to teach your kids accurate anatomical terminology. That's healthy. I just get you to say in a lot. A lot a lot a lot. I know.

It's different than maybe what you were raised with. But he gets me? Yeah, no, I knew. No, I was raised with, here's the one with, raised with worm and nothing. That's what I had. That's what I was, that's what's my worm.

And that would shall not be named. That's what I had. That's what my world and that would shall not be named. That's what I grew up with. I don't know if that's better or worse than mine, which was front butt and back butt. Those bad, differently bad, both bad. Anyway, so he also gets a staple to the scrotum test testicle penis, something in that area gets a staple. Again, I mean, I guess if you're talking about like puncturing the scrotum or like actually a staple into the testicle, but if there's not enough force there, because his pants are probably going to stop that, right?

I don't think they know. He does take one in the nose there. Bad, so bad. That's what could happen just like it shows because it's very close. But I don't know if it would, I mean, like it goes in so deep that you think like, did it actually penetrate into the sinus cavity?

Yeah. Yeah. And that would be, my worry would be infection with the whole disease. Like not so much the immediate injury as like you're introducing something that is not sterile, something that is dirty. I mean, that staple is not clean.

Who knows what bacteria is on it? And you have just penetrated like the sinus cavity. That's a big deal. So infection would be a big worry. Once they get inside, Harry falls off of a, oh no, this is before he gets inside. He falls off, gosh, there's so many ladder related entries. Before he gets inside, he jumps to try to reach the ladder that Kevin has put the slippery stuff on.

And he grabs a hold of it and then immediately falls down. It's too high again of a fall to not sustain some kind of damage from that. I mean, like they fall and land on their back on very hard surfaces a lot. And you can fall and land on your back and be okay. I'm not saying that like you can't walk away from that, especially if your butt hits first and absorbs a lot of that, the energy of that fall. Obviously you can walk away. They did see it as possible.

No, well, this is not the point of reference. But certainly you can, but if you're land, it depends on how you're landing because if you're landing right on your vertebra, you can easily sustain some fractures. But see, this one's saying, we have to go by what the film shows us. As far as we know, there were no vertebrates.

Well, well, you don't see, sometimes you don't see like when he hits the ground, you hear the thump and then you see him laying on the ground. You do hear some cracks, some full. Oh, there's lots of cracks. Yeah, there's lots of, yeah. Marv opens the front door and falls 10 feet through a hole face first. Again, he appears to land, like, smash his face into the ground,

which is unlikely. Like when you're falling, your instinct is to put your hands out in front of you. So you're much more likely to break your wrists or sustain some sort of fractures in your arms. That would be my bigger worry, because it would be very unlikely that you would fall with your arms flat to your side and just like smash your face on the ground.

Yeah. You know, like you have a protective instinct that'll stop that. But you definitely get some bruising and abrasions. And at this point, somebody's got to have broken something, especially a wrist fracture. The tool bag that unzips and falls on Harry's head is he finally makes it into the house. I am assuming that the collective weight of all those tools would be a problem. Again, not enough, maybe to like,

fracture, not to crush his skull, but to cause some damage, some definitely a concussion, definitely. I mean, like knocking him out would not be a shock. And the last one appears to fall after he has hit the ground. So then you gotta worry to fall on his face. And a facial fracture could definitely happen from any of these things.

Like that's, it's a little easier to break the bones in the face than it is, especially some of the smaller bones in it is to break a skull bone. So, you know, I'd be really worried about that. Marv falls in the basement next. And this is, so, okay. Kevin has covered the basement floor with slippery stuff.

What is this stuff? I thought it was supposed to be sticky, but it's just slippery. It's like slime. It's a green slime ooze that they, cause they show it in the toy store. It's something he buys at the toy store is that greens, or maybe he takes it after he keeps it from getting off.

That's right, that's right. Green, a green slime type. Green slime. So these were like the early days of slime. Yeah, it from getting hot. That's right, that's right. Green, a green slime type. So these were like the early days of slime. Yeah, absolutely. These were, I don't know if you- Was this pre-gack? I don't think it was a real product. Monster Sap, monster sap is what it is branded as.

It is made by the production team. It is not a real thing. But it is now. They did they know that in the future, all children love slime, and all children make slime. I'm sure you can buy a big jar of monster sap. This is the one, by the way, coding surfaces with slime so that they're slippery.

That is one thing that I do feel like Charlie and Cooper would be capable and maybe would even think like on their own to do where they in a situation where they needed to set traps for people. I can see them making slime, I mean, they know how to make slime on their own and I can see them coding surfaces

and slime in self-defense. Yeah. I mean, can't you see that? Yeah, absolutely. I can see you see that? Yeah, absolutely. I can see them doing that. Yeah, to try to, they do some haphazard, like, attempts, like on the fly. It never works out. No, Charlie would want to come up with some of those fanciful things.

Yeah, yeah. Cooper would just go straight for like the scissors. I have scissors. Yeah, I was thinking he's scissors. They would be scissors. Well, she wouldn't think to get a knife. She's five. But like, she is allowed to use scissors

under certain circumstances. To Cooper, not currently. With under certain circumstances with our supervision so that she doesn't cut her hair again. But in this instance, we are home alone. Cooper has absolutely got the scissors. Even before the robbing occurred, she already has got the scissors. The moment we steppedbing occurred, she already has got the scissors.

The moment we stepped out of the house, I assume. She also knows about your secret acts and where it's hidden. We need to tell. I didn't tell her. She told me. She told me. Well, I didn't tell her. They'll try to disarm me. They'll take over there first. Did you see what I just, I almost said it and then I didn't say it because I'm trying

to keep your secret. But she knows where it's in. I've probably said the location of my secret acts before on a podcast, but yeah, we should. Well, I'm saying this right now. We're going to move it. We're going to move it because it just occurred to me our five-year-old knows where it is. Do you think I've probably said the location of my secret acts before on this podcast was a direct quote from the Joe Rogan show? Yeah. We finally found the one that you can cross our reference our two shows with. There, well, that and vaccine content of different, of a different nature. A variety of a variety of corneacopia.

Truths and mistruths and untruths and whatever's. Anyway. Truths and untruths and yeah, whatever's Anyway, so Marv slips on the ooze he slides across the floor and an entire shelf of paint cans fall on him Okay, so you Estimated the paint cans probably way a full paint can about 10 pounds. Yeah, we looked it up between 7 and 12 So it was a good guess was good guess And I say that they're full because we see later that he's covered in paint and there's paint all over the floor. So they must have at least some of them had to have been full of paint. There was a lot of paint in these cans. I got to say, for also for renovation

job, they did not buy these size cans. There is no way that they bought these tiny super expensive one-gallon cans. These guys are absolutely the worst contractors. They were also, they were also like, there were some cans of white paint, which certainly like white paint. But the other colors were like all primary, like bright yellow, bright blue, bright green. I mean like, it's important.

It's important, no, this place barely has walls. Yes. And it doesn't have floors. And they're like, listen, this job site's a mess. We got to get all the pain in here. Stack. We got a good four months before there's even a lot of this place.

We're going to put it in the basement, which has no access currently. We cannot get into the basement at this time. How did they get it down there? They just chucked it down there. I worked up a complicated, legroom bully system. So it's really important.

It's really cheap right now. The shelf with all the cans of paint fall on him and cover him in paint. He's absolutely drenched in paint and the paint cans hit him. And what I would really worry about is like, you know, you have a ribcage that can sustain a good amount of fort, that's why it's there, right?

Like it creates a cage around your heart and lungs because those are important and your body protects them. But there is a limit to how much like ribs can certainly break. We know that. And my worry would be the crushing force that hits his chest and abdominal cavity, his abdomen, everything within his trunk would possibly fracture some ribs,

create some crush injuries there. Like when you damage tissue enough that you start to get a lot of swelling and you start to like kill nerves and close off blood vessels, you could rupture a spleen very easily, which could cause you to bleed to death. I mean, I'm really worried that like,

we're dealing with some punctured lungs and some damaged viscera organs from all of the weight of these paint cans hitting him in that midsection. And they do hit his face too. So there again, we've got his cheekbones are probably fractured, maybe some clavicle fractures, his nose is already broken.

It's gonna get broken so many times. But something else where he's not gonna stand up and walk away, he does stand up and walk away where he walks over to the sink, which has been rigged to what is the device? Cause I thought it was, I mean, it looked like jumper cables hooked up to our battery. It's an arc welder.

Yes. And it's not even like he's using the arc welder, I think from what I was able to discern, it looks like he is backfeeding the charge from the arc welder into, he has like rerouted the electricity from the arc welder into the sink, like the washmachines. And it looks like two jumper cables, which one is clamped on each knob. And so when he reaches and turns both knobs at the same time, which is a key, right? Yes. Because he's completed the circuit. Yes. And he is shocked. He is not electrocuted. Right.

Oh, explain the difference if you don't mind. If he was electrocuted, he would be dead. He was shocked because he does survive. He is momentarily skeleton. That is probably the most challenging part of the movie. I think that is where we say goodbye to literalism, which a lot of the movie trucks in. It's a heightened literalism, but it is basically literal what you're seeing, right? Yeah.

And it's weird, because in this movie, there's just one part. Where he turns into a skeleton. And the whole movie where the man becomes a skeleton. And then he turns back into Marvel, except it the, the, when you get shocked on TV, your hair goes straight up and maybe you get like scorch marks all over your body. My theory is that that part was really annoying to shoot and that's why they left it in. They're like, we don't want that work to be for nothing because it doesn't, it's, it's

wildly out of context. I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't kill him. Certainly, he was at high risk for that voltage passing through his heart, which. I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't kill him. Certainly, he was at high risk for that voltage passing through his heart, which, I mean, basically at that point, what you're saying is you're going to throw off the electrical conductivity in your heart and your heart can stop and you die. That's what you're concerned about happening when you get shocked or electrocuted if you actually die of it. And that, I mean, definitely that could have happened. It's possible that you survive that. Yeah. It's possible.

Maybe. Maybe. But especially with both hands at the same time, it's highly likely that his heart would stop. Which hand should he have used? His right hand. Oh, okay. Now, I mean, neither is the best answer.

Don't get shocked, please, if you can avoid it. But if you're going to get shocked, it's better if you get shocked with your right hand because the conductivity is actually slightly less likely to hit your heart than it is from your left, just positioning from your left hand. It definitely either way you could stop your heart and die. But there you go. Either way, be careful around electricity. Where's that lightning bug?

I played Silver on electricity. Yeah, yeah. You got to play it, too. Okay, Harry gets his headset on fire soon after this. Hey, wait, just to make, just to real be real clear, don't touch anything like school. That is our official stance as a podcast.

We know we just said there's a safer and a less safe way, but the more I think about it, I'm just gonna just concretely say don't touch like this. Yeah, no, don't. I don't want to leave any wiggle in here. I don't want to, don't touch anything, return to the days of caracene lamps. No, don't mess with electricity.

I don't know anything about electricity, so you know what, I don't mess with it. If the light switch isn't working, I don't try to figure it out. I call someone who knows how. I fix, I fix. I fix. You can do some things. You can do some things.

You can do some things, that's true. I am not ever gonna advocate for people who are not professionals. I've never had the whole of my being just summarily dismissed as in you can do some things. No, I mean, I'm not gonna encourage people who are like amateur electricians to go for it. I don't know any in this room except for you.

And then there's just me here. You're not a professional electrician. You have no certification. You've never taken any classes or tests. I put in a dimmer switch. Still here to tell you that I put in a few cubes. Please don't take any electrical advice from Justin. This podcast dispenses no medical advice

and no electrical advice. I was just thinking about swap out some of these can lights here down here. I'm fine, I mentioned that. You gotta play safe around electricity. They have a different special electricity that most people learn about. How are their house called 220?

That's how that's how into it. I am. I have the special bad electricity that you just see that I probably shouldn't have. I read that Joe Pesci actually did burn his scalp a little bit in the scene where his head gets set on fire this time because his head gets set on fire in both. Yeah. Come on movie classic egg.

Yeah, but his heads on fire and the only place to put it out is a toilet and Kevin has filled the toilet with care things. That's my favorite lyric in ironic. That sounds fire, but the only thing around is a toilet. So he sticks his head in it and there's an explosion. I mean, he would have some really serious burns. I don't think I need to make that. I mean, like his heads on fire, like the top of his heads on fire, I don't think I need to make that. I mean, like his heads on fire, like the top of his heads on fire, his hat has burned,

his scalp at that point has burned. I mean, he has some serious deep head wounds and then his head exploded after that. Yeah. Which just kind of makes him look like a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins. Yes. Like that's, again, very cartoonish. I agree with you, but he would definitely definitely aside from like the injuries to the skin and the flesh wounds that he would sustain like a Concussive injury from the explosion he'd be knocked out. Yeah for sure from all of this

And then meanwhile Marvin's down in the basement. He accidentally pulls a hundred pound bag of something I don't know what it is, but it definitely has a hundred pounds written on it So you know a hundred pound bag falls on him while he is looking directly up at it. So his neck is fully extended back. Unbelievable. I, I think that that would hit with so much force that it would, I mean, definitely break his neck. I was wondering if it could decapitate you with that force.

Probably not. It would probably just knock you backwards, like completely backward, break your neck, knock you backwards, you're gone. But this is a comedy podcast. So like I wanted to theorize, could it decapitate you? Probably not. 100 pounds is so many pounds, by the way.

I know, I know. It's just a lot of pounds. Harry falls, he's on a ladder, and he falls forward. He might break some fingers, but probably not a big deal. They re-enact the paint can except now Harry and Marv have learned, you know, they're on the stairs. He's going to swing paint cans down in our face. We're going to avoid them. But then after they miss the first two and they think they're free and clear, he swings

like a giant iron pipe, which smashes them in the face. I mean, I'm talking like face fully smashed as what should have happened. They take it. I mean, they just, they take it and they fly back and fall through a whole 10 feet to the basement below. Yeah. I mean, their faces are shattered. The pipe then falls on them and completely crushes

their chest. So like, they are crushed and smashed and dead. I mean, yes, at this point, but they do not appear to sustain any injuries whatsoever. Right after that, Kevin lets a giant tool chest like on wheels, like a how many feet tall is it? Four, five, six, six feet tall tool chest rolls down an entire flight of stairs, smashes through a door and smashes Marvin Harry against a wall.

Yes, and breaks their nose. It does break their nose. The door would redistribute the force a little bit across their entire bodies, which would help from, like, as many targeted, but like, they definitely would, again, some, some crush injury. From that, can you got a thing about injury to the tissue, too?

It's not just broken bones. Like you can't just smash a hand or a foot or an arm or a layer or whatever and not sustain damage to the tissues, the blood vessels, the nerves inside. Like other injuries are happening. Compartment syndrome could develop where you get so much swelling and inflammation inside that space that it begins crushing all of the structures inside. And you can lose blood flow to an extremity.

You can get to the hospital. Yeah, I mean, you got to think about that too. So the final, the final injury within the house is when Kevin has scaled down the side on a rope. They try to follow him. He sets the rope on fire. And they fall like almost the 30, almost the full 30 feet down to the pavement below. Actually, maybe even further, because they fall through like, I think it's about 30, because they were on the, if we have to, if we have to assume,

if we're using the number 30 as the height of the brick fall, then the height of the other, it's like they fall under the sidewalk, though. Like they fall down to the basement, like to the, maybe I don't know. Either way, the point is they land on their backs. They and they definitely would have multiple broken bones from this. None. They don't have any. Also, all of the cans of varnish then fall on them. And they're just absolutely covered in varnish.

They're inhaling fumes from the varnish. That's so bad. I mean, they can get some in their mouth, which like they ingested the varnish. This scene actually made me catch an eye breath as something who's like spent a lot of time avoiding a thing varnish. We're getting anywhere like to see these people just like coated in it. It's really rough. They've had a toxic exposure at this point.

So aside from the fact that they should have broken their backs. What they need is milk. these people just like coded in it is really rough. They've had a toxic exposure at this point. 100% Aside from the fact that they should have broken their backs. What they need is milk. They need to get some milk. Well, they need to, they need to call boys in control and get to the hospital. They also may have developed like fluid in their lungs, pulmonary edema from inhaling that amount of varnish, let alone like it gets in their mouth. It's absorbed through their mucus membranes. And I don't know how long you can be covered in varnish. How much of that you absorb slowly through your skin before you start to become poisoned by

all the substances in the varnish. They are still able to chase him to the park where he enlists the help of the pigeon lady who covers them in bird seed and then calls upon her pigeons to eat them to death. No, well, I mean, I think they just sort of like, they just sort of like hassle them, you know what I mean? They peck all over them and I guess at that point, we've done it. We did a whole, was it just one episode on birds or we did like a three-part series. Yeah, birds are, birds are no joke. We don't mess around birds in the house. Aside from like, we all saw the movie birds. And I, yeah, I think birds can peck you to death, like enough of them, like pulling at your flesh and your eyes and

your lips and all your, I mean, like yikes, yikes. But aside from that, avian flu, citacosis, cryptococcus, histoplasmosis, salmonella, chlamydiaosis, avian tuberculosis. The list goes on and on of the bird related, the avian illnesses that the sticky bandits are taking with them to prison, as they are carted off. What did you call Brindificker her character? The pigeon lady. Ah, well, yes, that is 100% what her character is named.

I thought that's what she was named. Tim Curry as concierge, friend of fricker as pigeon lady, Dana Ivy as desk clerk, Rob Schneider as Billman. There's almost no one. There's almost no name officer, the guy, the cop that she talks to you in Times Square, cop in Times Square. That's how unimportant these other human beings are. It's like, don't even look at them. They're just big bags of flour. Come look at this kid, kill this man.

You know what, though, that's kind of seen from the perspective of a child. Like we have a child alone who is like our, that is our vehicle for the plot of the story. And so we're seeing the world through this child's eyes. And through a child's eyes, people are sort of like put into, like that's how we understand the world. And through a child's eyes, people are made just dumbies.

Police man, robber, pigeon lady. Two murder victims that I will claim because they tried to rob a toy store. So I'll kill them forever to death. I just say that's a very concrete stream of logic that a child would have. It's not a child. It makes internal sense in the film again. This is not a child. He's a catastrophe. He, I mean, he lures them to the house and were the usual medical laws to apply. They would, they would die, But they don't.

They survive to be jailed and I assume, did they return in the other films? I know that McCullochon does not. Okay, so the films that are in continuity are one, two, four, and six. Four is Kevin McAllister and Marv is in it with his wife, but they're all different actors. French duor, plays Marv in four.

Six is more like brief cameo from Buzz that ties the universe together. Okay. But we never see the sticky band. It's just break out of jail. They actually have go at it again. The best thing in the sixth one, which is on Disney Plus in like 2021, is they have buzz in there as a cop. And they establish in there that every Christmas Eve to rag on buzz. People make false reports to the police about kids being left home alone because this story is so well known. So

when this kid is actually left home alone, they write it off as a prank because people do this to buzz every Christmas Eve. That's funny. That is funny. It's going to, it is good storytelling. It is weird that that story was that widely well known that like twice this family abandoned this one child at different times. Yeah. And there, I guess there was no concern.

I'm the family of the second half of the episode. I'm begging everybody to keep it crispy. I'm going to be nice to that, it would be nice to that a concierge. Like listen, it's just a new that concierge, like listen, it's just a new me, right? We all made some mistakes here. You let a kid check into a hotel and then try to chase him.

And then you thought you came into the hotel room I was showering naked, but it was really just my kid pretending to be my brother showering naked. Well, and also like, they lost their kid in the airport and the reason they didn't know where their kid was is because they sat in first class and left their kids to wander around back in coach.

And so I think that there's, I'm just gonna be completely honest. There's a little bit of Karen energy coming out with their confrontation with Tim Curry there. Like, come on, guys, this is on you. You lost your child. Do you know in the fourth movie that the parents have split up and he's defending the house of his dad and is soon to be new wife.

No, no, that's so what? That's true. Why? Okay. Thank you so much for listening. We hope you've had a happy holiday season or happy having one if that's your thing. If you want to watch candle mites, that is our virtual video, fun raising spectacular. You can still watch the VOD until January 1st. It's five bucks. If you pledge more, all that money is going to Harmony House, all of it. I mean, more or

all the money we raise is going to Harmony House, which is a shelter for people experiencing homelessness in our area that cities are involved with. It's a great cause. I think you'll agree. It's a wonderful organization where the hub for anybody experiencing homelessness or in need of that sort of system, housing assistance, we provide obviously like a shelter, a warming space, clothing, I provide medical care, we provide food, we provide hygiene items, a place to take a shower,

and then the services to hopefully get people housed and back on their feet and your donations really help us do that. It.ly-4th-lash-caminites-2020-3 is the address. Also 10% of all merch sales this month. Go to Harmonyhouse as well. So if you get a macawardmerch.com, get some of our new stuff, or some of our old stuff,

all the stuff, then you're going to help raise money for Harmonyhouse as well. Thanks to Taxpayers for using this. There's some medicines as the intro and her many houses. Well, thanks to taxpayers for using their song Medicines as the intro and outro of our program. But thanks to you for listening. I'm gonna do it for us. Until next time, my name is Justin McElroy. I'm Sydney McElroy. It's always don't drill a hole.

You're gonna do it. Alright! Maximum Fun, a work-around network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you. you.