Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Sawbones: The Oregon Trail

Episode Date: October 8, 2018

This week Justin and Dr. Sydnee try desperately to save you from cholera on a grand tour of the many different ways to die on The Oregon Trail. Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers (Apologies if your player downloads this episode twice, we had an issue with the file we're trying to troubleshoot.)

Saubones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You're worth it. that weird growth. You're worth it. Alright, talkies about books. One, two, one, two, three, four. I'm a man. We came across a pharmacy with a toy and that's busted out.

We went on through the broken glass and had ourselves a look around. Some medicines, some medicines that escalate my cop for the mouth. Wow! Hello, everybody, and welcome to SoBones, a very absolute of misguided medicine. I'm your co-host Justin McElroy. Oh! Oh!

And I'm Sydney McElroy. Oh! Oh! Huh. They were about the same that time. Where? What a thrill it is to be back here in Portland, Oregon. I think our first show here was at the Aladdin Theater, which is a beautiful venue in its

own right. It is such a thrill to be here with all of you in this fine city with all I still remember sitting backstage of that theater holding a little baby Charlie Astaslee What's the name to you guys? Your show. Yeah, all those great Gags everybody treasures Back when they were good I used to like this guys. She was just running up and down the hallways,

screaming her head off right before we came out here. And we were like, please stop. She's fine. She's happy. It was happy scream. She's fine screaming. Please stop screaming. If you hear her screaming, she's fine.

Yeah. She's sick. So we're here in Oregon. Oh! Stablish the place. Yes. Stablish that. It's important because it's sitting in a take away.

So we always, we always like to do episodes that are themed around the place that we are when we do live shows. And we were thinking about Horken, and what do we know about Horkin? Well, when I think about Horkin and diseases, the Horkin Trail always comes to mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And an actual trail, and also a game, that many of us, a computer a game that many of us, a computer game that many of us played, and a great episode of Teen Titans Go. Yeah, excellent, I've said. Yeah, one of the top five, we've seen them all 30 times each,

and that's one of the top five easily. So as Oregon Trail, or as I assume you all know it, the trail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where does that bring us to in terms of solbos, the podcast city? So I was thinking there were a lot of diseases that you could get on the Oregon Trail, both

the game and like the actual trail. And it would be fun if we kind of played a game of Oregon Trail. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I will use our family as patience. So we're all all of us all all the macaroids and smells pilot into a big conestoga. Yeah, although actually they wouldn't they probably wouldn't have ridden in them. That would put a lot of burden on the animals to drag them. You usually just walked along of burden on the animals. To drag them.

You usually just walked along. I know, I learned this. Usually you just walked along beside unless you were like, I'd ride super little or sick. No, usually they didn't get to ride. I just learned that. They're like, they're like my oxen, so. I think all ride.

But they have to get you all the way bottom all the way Do you know do you know where the Oregon Trail actually like like the span of it? Well one ends in Oregon That's good. That's good. The actually the end in Oregon is like here. It's the Willemette Valley. That was that's where we are Right that's where Portland is. I looked it up on a map and And it started all the way at the Missouri River so it was like 2,170 miles Was it like that? I wasn't exactly that was exactly that I let that out and It was very popular from the years 1846 1869

Something around 400,000 people Nice. Thank you. Good. This is your fault. This is your fault. Good work. 1869 doesn't actually count. Defoe, different number, but I appreciate this spirit. And that's when the Transcontinental Railroad was finished.

And people were like, oh, that might be better than this wagon thing, because so many people got sick and died on the journey. Like, 16,000 I think is the estimated. So what can I do to impact this? Okay, well, what do you wanna be? Like, where's your role on the wagon train? I should be the doctor. What?

If our whole family's on there, I should be the doctor. If our whole family's on there, I should be the doctor. Do you feel qualified? I have listened to at least two-thirds of a medical history podcast for a 200-and-some episodes at this point. So I feel roughly equally equipped to a pioneer doctor. I feel like if you were the doctor, it would be unrealistic because you would know that anachronistic things. There's actually some logic to that. You are probably qualified to be a doctor in 1850. That's actually, that's probably true. Thank you. A pioneer doctor, they call me.

So. Frontier medicine, that's my thing. Hard learned. Okay, doctor. Wisdom of the Hills. All right, Dr. McRoy. I need you to turn your Dr. McRoy. Please, call me Dr. McRoy. Can you turn, I need you to turn your laptop because I don't want to prionize. Oh.

Yeah, the temptation is too great. You don't want to get, oh, that's true. You can't know what I'm going to do. Yes, I don't want to. There's people who have a vantage point, just like, they're like, oh, bullcrap. Look at it, he can see your screen. So I don't want to be getting,

when I get all of these right, I don't want to be accused of mouth feces. Well, okay, before I start, before I start with our alien family, what have we brought on this wagon train? Medicine. Yeah. Do you want to try any, just any medicine that might have

existed and maybe? Cocaine. That's actually fair. Yeah, they may, probably not, but they might have, they might have had, maybe, maybe somebody had cocaine. Oh, why gone? Quy-nine. Quy-nine.

Quy-nine? Yeah? Quy-nine. Quy-nine. Quy-nine? Yeah. Quy-nine. Quy-nine. Um, Nisborn. No. All right.

Uh, Nikewell? No. Any? Every person. Although Nikewell is a good example of the, like, the, the genre of mess. Right. As in, like, it doesn't really do anything,

other than maybe makes you feel better about being sick. And then you get better. Band-aids. OK. Bandages. Bandages. OK, you're right. I forgot copyright trademark.

We don't want to get into that. States. Now, I'll find six there. I'm not gonna burn down these fucking prima donna oxen who barely can't be bothered to carry their owner's weight. I'm not gonna make him carry a bunch of super heavy sticks either. So, okay, this isn't terrible, this list. Just to give you an idea of what you might actually have brought,

actually, quinine is not a bad answer. We had figured out that quinine worked for malaria, and so we were using it for every fever that happened. That won't work, but they did do that. That was a popular medicine you would have. You would probably have some lardnum, which is opium, because you're sick, we don't know how to fix you.

Here's some opium. So you would probably have some of that. Whiskey was the cure-all to endocurrals. Yeah! And it was usually like the number one thing you had in a medicine chest. You had your whiskey. So.

Got that. Yeah, I was planning to bring that. I didn't miss it. I just didn't know I had to count it among the medical supplies. I definitely brought it. You probably had some vinegar because of vinegar is also, it's been a popular cure all. So you would have been using that for lots of different stuff. A cholera, it was a popular treatment for, it doesn't work.

It was a popular treatment for that. Maybe some peppermint, that was good for stomach stuff. And then you forgot surgical instruments. I did say bandages. I was gonna craft the six in it. Wait, bandages as surgical instruments? After you're done, you've been bandages after you're done with surgery. So any guess?

Also a needle driver, a needle and thread and for sutures. That hey, sure. And also forceps and that's it. Okay. Well, probably not the forceps, but like a needle and thread, that was good. That was good. A saw, a saw was essential.

Oh no, this is gonna get bad before it gets good, huh? It's gonna get bad. Damn. And you need a knife. That's so much bad leg off. That's how it's gouples butchered knife. A knife. And then usually like an all like a shoemakers.

Oh. Very popular surgical tool of the time. We're like, crying, crying, various things. Yeah. I don't know. That was pretty good. Thanks. So let's start with our family.

Who gets sick first? Well, Griffin. And Griffin. Griffin has arrived at our campsite. We've bedded down for the night. Griffin shows up and he wraps on your tent or whatever. We probably don't have a tent. Like hey, just hello. Griffin has diarrhea. Okay, okay, so why are you waking me up? I understand, I know what you're thinking. Griffin always has diarrhea.

Right. But this time, it's bad. It's bad, okay? Like, it won't stop. Won't stop. And it looks like water with just like some rice floating in it. Ah, it's bad. Okay, not even a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little Okay, Griffin has cholera. Hey, very good. Thank you.

Griffin has cholera. And now, the right place to start, it was the most fear disease of the Oregon Trail. It, here's the thing though, before I would treat for cholera, I would have to monitor Griffin for at least two days to make sure this is just three o'clock diarrhea or a car in area. So your decision is to just monitor him for 48 hours? Is that your final answer? No, it's not my final answer. Are you sure? Yes, I'm

gonna hear someone tell me to do. Okay. Come and say listen, we don't have color figured out yet. It's true. But I'm going to give you some, I want you to drink a lot of water to keep you hydrated. Okay. And I want you to take some. Some what? Quite I'm.

Okay, well, you may have told us that. Two, the shelf. What's the other medicines? Okay, well, you may have told him that. To the shelf with the other medicines. Set it down, because you don't want to ingest it. No, I would, you know what? I'm trying to your response as a frontier doctor. I don't want to give this all by name. I'm just going to have to drink a lot of water and hope for the best.

Finally answer. That's, okay, that's actually not terrible advice. And there's a chance Griffin survives this one. So, my rule of D20. It did. I'm sorry, I misspoke, a D tummy. So, depending on where... Thank you, person, with a loud laugh.

I appreciate you. Very good. Better than I deserve, I appreciate you very much. Depending on where he gets his water, because then we could begin into some other stuff. But depending on how clean this water he's ingesting, he may make it if he drinks enough, because that was the big problem with cholera, as you got dehydrated and you died. If you could maintain hydration, he might make it. You may actually have saved Griffin.

It's up to you, DM. Well, yeah, Griffin is okay for the moment. Yeah! I'm fire. Just so you know, some other things, OPM was a really popular treatment for cholera, and it... OPMs caused constipation, so actually...

So actually, it didn't fix it, but you may have thought it was working. So that is something you could have tried. Turpentine Enemas also, we would have accepted Turpentine Enemas. Those don would have accepted Turpentine Enemas. Those don't work, but they were popular. Uh, all right, so, we're good. We're safe.

The medicines, the medicines that I skilled at my cards for the mouth. Uh, okay. Now, we just went back to sleep, and now your dad's here. Oh, God, yeah, I cut his sleep. Yes, I heard about her from diarrhea. He lives, trust me. No, but he's worried, because he also has diarrhea.

Oh God. But, and he's going to tell you this, whether you want to know it or not, his is bloody. Bloody, bloody diarrhea. OK, Mack, I told you, the sobbing so much sugar, you have diabetes. God, my- I told you to stop eating so much sugar, you have diabetes. Come on, Mike. I thought I was going to die of it.

I thought I was going to die of it. Does he have any other symptoms that seem out of place for him? I mean, his tummy is really cramping. Oh, your tummy is cramping and you're pooping blood. You, well, we can roll out, cholera. We already got that. From a narrative perspective. Yeah. You know what, I From a narrative perspective. Yeah.

You know what, I'm not 100% certain what this is, but I'm gonna say diphtheria. No. Is one of the wrong answers? No. It starts with the same letter. Did diarrhea? We were, dystopia?

For me, duh, yeah, dystopia. Day-on. Everybody knows it. Hold on one second. I'm gonna say one, two, three, and then you give me a hint,

but whisper it, okay? Shhh. One, two, three. Shhh. Dissentary. Sit. Is it Dissentary? Your dad's got Dissentary. Ahissentary. Is it Dissentary? Your dad's got Dissentary. Ah, luckily I was traveling with a bunch of helpful ghosts, dad.

So I know that you have Dissentary. What are you going to tell him to do? Drink lots of water. That's huge. Here's the problem. I want you to take some opium because it's going to constipate you. Okay, okay. But the problem is he's drinking from this river and right upstream,

they're just a bunch of animals pooping in the river, and he's drinking from this river. Well, Matt, we can roll out the animals. That's nature. So we know it's not them making you sick. Have you cursed anybody lately, my friend, or done somebody wrong in a business deal? Anything like that.

Okay, so we're gonna macarastic with water and opium to constipate you. And just drink a lot of water. So the good news is the water is helpful and dysentery, he probably would be okay. So your dad's gonna pull through, but he's got a wicked lot in a monkey on his back now. Okay, I did you and a monkey addiction.

You're so hooked on a lot in a moment. My dad's got an opiate in addiction now. Sydney, that's on you, man. All right, it was a little irresponsible to give my dad so much opium. What? You could have said DeSoc is feeding Epsom salts, which is a popular remedy then.

I didn't know we had that. You didn't list that amongst our resources. Okay. Okay. Okay. Do we have a Holocaust cloak or a wheelbarrow? You haven't mentioned to me. Now just a quick update. I will say Griffin has been drinking from this same river. So that's 10. That's the next doctor's problem. All right. Travis is sick. Oh, I...

Oh. Okay, why? Oh, man. He's tired and he's got a fever and his throat is so sore. Try talking to him much. He's got a fever. Let me talk to him. Have you been talking too much?

No. That's subjective. You're really sick. You got a fever. Your throat is scratchy. You've got any other symptoms? Well, he's noticed that he's starting to have some trouble breathing. He feels like there's something like stuck back here like a bunch of really thick mucous. Got asthma. No, wait, he's got allergies. No. Yes. No. Yes. Allergies.

Don't try to throw me off the track. No. OK. But you almost guessed this earlier. Did the theory of it? Yes, he's got dip theory. Yes. So Travis has dip theory.

You don't ever see this anymore. You know why? What? Vaccines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm Syria. I thought it was a butt thing, clearly. But I'll now treat this disease that two minutes ago, I thought was bloody diarrhea. What are you gonna do for his throat?

Cough drops. We don't have those. We have fisherman's friend, probably. Water. But not the animal dukey water. I've been reading some literature everybody and stink river is off limits. Do you have any other ideas? He's really having trouble breathing now, man. You better do something. Okay, somebody give me a ball point pen. Are you to George Clooney this?

I'm going to George Clooney it. I'll take out the ink part of Jamin and his throat. Okay, for the moment you've saved his life. What? For the moment. We're just going to let go all the infections that are going to happen as a result of this. But at the moment, you go eat it. I'm gonna take it up tape it in a tracheostomy is actually something they used to do for dip theory because they didn't know how else to treat

We didn't have antibiotics. They didn't know how to treat it and so whoa hello people breathe blue I think I just got a per tip. I'll give it some antibiotics. Well, we don't have those but That gummit, all right also and I'm glad you didn't choose this because it would not have been a good outcome. You could have also said, I wanted to take a piece of bacon sprinkled with black pepper and wrap it around his throat,

which was a very common treatment. I had that on a bluestier donut upstairs. It's a big, old piece of bacon. That wouldn't work. Man, you're doing good. Everybody's living so far. I mean, Griffin is definitely still pooping, but... But he's always pooping. I've gotten him back to his normal standard of life.

Now Teresa's sick. Ah, man. I like her. It's all been so easy. It's just what I think. And like, everybody else, she's having some tummy troubles, but she's also got a rash. She's also got a headache. She's got a high fever.

And just to throw this in there, we just made it through the Rocky Mountains. Okay, she's got a Rocky Mountain spotted fever. Maybe. Come on. So it was common on the Oregon Trail to be diagnosed with mountain fever. That's what it was called, mountain fever. And it basically meant you were in the mountains and then you got a fever.

You can mount fever. It may have been in some cases Rocky Mountain spotted fever. Okay, Griffin had that. So, yeah. Yeah. Remember? I know, that's why I didn't give it to Griffin. Yeah, it would have been too real.

He would have had some flashbacks. Yeah. That's the mean. It also might have been something called Colorado tick fever. It could have been typhoid. It could have been scarlet fever. It could have been all kinds of different things. Nobody knew, it was just a fever. You've been in the mountains, you have a fever.

What do you do for every fever? Opium. Maybe, but quinine. Quineine, okay. It doesn't work, but that's what they probably would have done. Okay, I gave a treat to quinine. But let's say that she had one of the less egregious fevers and Teresa's okay.

Oh, all right, yay! I'm a great doctor. Now, my mom has also shown up with a rash. Oh, man, okay, okay. She's got these big, flat spots all over there. Like kind of pinkish rose colored. It's a pretty bad rash. She hurt stomach hurt.

She don't really want to eat anything. Dude. Okay, so she doesn't want to eat anything. She's got a rash. Yeah. It is scarlet fever. No. God.

What's my mom's first name? Oh, she's got typhoid. Yeah, I gave my mom typhoid. Okay, I'll get typhoid Mary, I get it. Yeah. Okay, good. So she has typhoid. Yeah.

Now this one I'm gonna treat properly because I don't want your mom to be mad at me. So I'm gonna give her a rock candy. And that me. So I'm going to give her... That's fair. ...rock candy. And that's just... I give that to everybody to kind of bully their spirits. And... Give her some whiskey.

Yeah, some whiskey and water, not together, but also together, but a lot of water, not from stink river. And I'll give her some, I'd be proven. We don't have that. I'll give her some quinine. Yeah, you probably would have. You may have also put some leeches on her.

I hope you didn't. I'll let's say I did. All right. It's been so easy. I'm trying to ensure that my mother succumbs to Typhoon fever before. No, I want your mom to live. So I give her quinoa and water.

Yeah. And the rock candy, which may or may not help. I don't know. Let's just say she got better, but now she's cooking dinner for all of us. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, man.

That's terrible news. Oh, man. That's the Oregon Trail. You knew it was coming. In the meantime, my little sister Riley, her only 18 years old. And she shows up, and she's got a fever. And she's got this rash.

It's a bunch of red dots. It started up at the top. It's like a bucket of paint dumped over her head, slowly spread down. She's got a cough. She's got Kariza, which means like, Rennie knows. Is it measles? You got it. Yes! All right, how's her water intake? No, I'm gonna give her.

No, I'm gonna give her. Mm-hmm. Meals, meals, meals. So, okay. Um, but, hmm. Let me give you a clue. It was very important at the time, not to let it go back in. That was the thought.

The measles was coming out, and that's what the rash was. Okay. And if you didn't do certain things, it would go in. Nail clippers, or scissors, to clipe the... No, oh, no, oh, oh no, oh no. So a variety of ways to make sure that it doesn't go in. A section comp, a little one, tiny plunger.

I mean like fake medicine stuff. Ugh. A Biori-poor perfect strip. So you're not going to give her any tea made with sheep droppings? No, I don't know what you're talking about. That's what she needs. 1850, that's why it was a nightmare. I'm not going to save them all, okay?

I knew she had measles, and then I hung my head sadly. I'm afraid it's measles. There's nothing more I can do. I'm so sorry. The good news is she's probably gonna be okay. Man, I'm good at this. Not because you did anything. You didn't do anything.

Just like measles't a big deal? No, measles are a huge deal, but most people aren't gonna die. Specifically speaking, she's fine, okay. But they are a big deal, which is why, again, not to sound like Burger Macker, but it's really important to get your vaccines because then you don't get measles. Like my sister.

Speaking of my sisters, my other sister Taylor. Okay, what's she got? Um, she looks really cool about it. She's sick, but she looks super cool. Cause she's pretty pale. And she's got this great cough. Let's bloody some time. She's got tuberculosis.

But she's gotten really good at poker as a result. I know this one already. I'm going to give her water and lodnam. Probably, yeah. Are you going to tell her just keep on going west? Go west. You're already doing the thing that is most advantageous to use is get to an arid climb.

So do that and laud them. Lots of it, as much as you can stand. There are no risks that we have found. Don't ask my dad. He's high. So you can't trust him and his opinions on laud them. One popular treatment you may have recommended is smoke some cigarettes.

They're really good for tuberculosis. When some lose some, who's next? Rachel's sick. Her gums are bleeding. She's got a rash. She's so tired. My photo friend, if you know the answer, please shout it. That's right, she's got scurvy.

Scurvy, I'm gonna give her some water. I know what I would actually give her. It's this time of period. You know what they might have known this? Limits and lots of them. You may have heard this by now. Listen, I'm in a room. I'm gonna let you actually fix Rachel.

Everybody else maybe got better on their own, but you actually fixed Rachel. Rachel, listen, I heard a rumor in a newspaper, and I know this is gonna sound silly, but I want you to eat all-on. And it will fix your disease. It doesn't sound any dumber than any other things we've said, right?

Now. Now, if you didn't have any citrus fruits than any other things we've said, right? Now. Just eat this whole line. If you didn't have any citrus fruits, which I'm going to be honest, even if you knew this, you probably don't. You may have recommended drinking vinegar because it's kind of tangy, like, citrus. And so there was a lot, there were a lot of overlaps, like, well, vinegar, it seems similar. I'm so tragically sorry, but we have no lives. All right. What happened? We're almost through. I'm so tragically sorry, but we have no lives.

All right, we're almost through. Oh, she, uh, uh, oh, didn't we have a lemon? Let's say we had a lemon. You said we didn't have any. Why said you might, might not have. Okay. Yes, fine. We had a lemon. You're the DM. You were kind of softhearted to do this game.

I am. I don't want to kill off our fan. It doesn't matter. Mom's still cooking dinner for us and she's got typhoid. Yeah, we all I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Summer, he's got the summer complaint. That's what it was called, folks. The summer complaint.

What was called? Food poisoning. Food poisoning. Yeah. That was called the summer complaint? I think you heard my dissimtum. Sorry. No, it was because it would sit out like you're meat and get hot.

I would give him a lot of water and hang in there, man. I'm all out of rock candy or I'd treat you to some of that. He's another one. He's going to be OK. Other than, please, don't eat all that old bison anymore. But I didn't figure it out. Paul's been struck by lightning. Oh, no.

What do I do for Paul? I mean, there's nothing. There's nothing. He shouldn't have been carrying that mic stand. And that's thunderstorm. And now Paul's tragically, so I can't, safe Paul. No, you can't safe Paul died. Paul did die.

We're all gonna bury Paul. You guys start by lightning. What do you want? What is there, buddy? If we could just take one moment of silence for Paul, it's a great time to visit Paul and strong Paul. You guys start by lightning. What do you want? What is there, buddy? If we could just take one moment of silence for Paul, it's a great time to visit Paul and it's trying to become a call. This is the sum of his music. That's what he would have wanted. I'm sure it's on iTunes. I think it's what he would have wanted. Now, Justin, while you

were out wandering the prairie thinking about how much you missed your friend Paul, you've tragically been bitten by a snake. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated.

You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. You've been pretty impregnated. They're crystals to have them. The rest of us are slowly dying of typhoid right now. So quick, quick, what are you gonna do? I gotta save myself. I'll suck out the poison. And swallow it.

I'm gonna suck out the poison. It's not working, it's not working. It's spreading. The legs gotta go. Aw, a dunk. All right, well, I know what I have to do, and then I die. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Wow, Charming. Hey, thank you all so much for joining us. Hi. Um, thank you to, uh, this, uh, uh, Paul and our whole family for dying. And listen, we've got a book coming out on October 9th called the Salbone's Book. If you have not pre-ordered it, I beg of you, please bit.ly. For your slash, the Salbones book, please pre-ordered it really would mean the world to us. Thanks to taxpayers for using sort, song medicines as the intro and outro of our program.

And that's gonna do it for us, right? Right? I think? Yeah. Come into the light with me. Justin. I'm coming, Dad Paul. I'm coming.

All I welcome. You're the Justin Kidnickley for solvones, but it just a macaron. I'm Sydney. All I welcome. You heard it Johnson getting angry for Sal Bus but it just to macaroni. I'm Sydney Macarons. I always double-jowl hauling your head and see him. Alright! Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artist-owned Listener-supported