Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Sawbones: The Teen Girl

Episode Date: June 17, 2015

This week on Sawbones, Justin is transported into the body of a Sydnee's teenage sister Rileigh and has a lot of awkward questions. Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers

Saubones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You're worth it. that weird growth. You're worth it. Alright, time is about to books. One, two, one, of misguided medicine. I'm your co-host Sydney, Macroi. And I am just in Macroi.

Hold on a second. You are not just in Macroi. Well Sydney, see here's what happened. Okay. Riley and I suffered a what happened. Okay. Riley and I suffered a tragic freaky Friday type accident. Now I am stuck in a 14 year old girl's body. Okay. Now for our listeners at home, you may want to identify who Riley is. Riley is your younger sister. So my 14 year old sister and mom. Exactly. Okay. So that is why the person that I am seeing sitting next to me right now is definitely my sister Riley.

But what you're saying is you're not Riley. I am definitely Justin. Okay, when did this happen? You know what I said, I kind of just woke up this morning and I realized I was not Justin, but I am Justin. This is gonna be really confusing for Riley.

Because she is covering E3 right now in New York. Yes. So, how do you think she's doing? You know, I can imagine not well. I mean, she looks like she's old enough to drink, but she's only 14. People are probably serving her a lot of alcohol. She has to do a lot of things by herself. She's probably not having a great time right now. And she's also probably having to room with Griffin. So that's awkward.

Probably also really weird because who knows if Griffin knows if it's Riley or not. No, I wonder if she's told anybody yet. Maybe she's just keeping it to herself. Yeah, well, I mean, of course she is, because she can keep ordering drinks as long. I hope that that's what all 14-year-olds think being an adult is like. Even becoming an adult and instantly everybody's like, alcohol, alcohol, you're a drink. I mean, it is. Yes, that's exactly what it's like.

Don't tell your schoolmates. Your schoolmates? See, I don't have school, though. So don't tell your friends, that's what it's secretly like. All right, so on the deal. Okay, Justin. Yes. Not Riley. Right, I have Justin. So you are trapped in the body of a 14 year old girl. I have a lot of questions. Okay, well, I may be able to help you with those questions and you know what, this might be a good format for that.

Right. Right. What do I do as a 14 year old girl? I am very confused. There are lots of things going on. Lots of things I'm confused about. Okay. Well, we'll just shoot. Ask me some questions. Let me keep I can help. So this morning I woke up and I'm told that you're supposed to shave under your arms. Is that right? That is a thing. Yes, girls do that. So I did that and then I used Justin Deodorant, Justin

Deodorant and it hurt real bad. Okay. I've got some red armpits now and they hurt when I put my arms down. Now I have to sit here with my arms up and I don't know what to do. Well, okay. That's a tricky one. I'm impressed that you knew to shave under your arms. Thank you. That's a good, so you've been observant. You've noticed that I do that. Right.

So that's good. Okay. Now, did you like use any kind of shaving cream or gels or did you just... I just kind of took a razor and then shaved. Oh, it was even wet. Like did you use like in the shower? Is that what you're supposed to do? Oh no, okay, this is a bad situation. Well, first of all, I'm imagining, well, this is Riley's body.

So, okay, so she shaved on a regular basis. So, you didn't have a lot of, like, deforestation to do. No, it was pretty clean under there. Okay. All right. Well, she's going to be pretty mad at you about this. I can imagine. I did a mess up and I apologize. What do I do? All right. Well, first of all, do you know why we shave under our arms? All right, well first of all, do you know why we shave under our arms? So, we're not stinky. Okay, why do you think hair makes you stinky?

Because you sweat and then it just kind of keeps all that stank under there. And boys are supposed to be. Right. You know, for a long time, women didn't shave under their arms either. Really? It depended on the culture. There were some cultures that liked that kind of clean shave and look. So like the Egyptians, everybody was kind of smooth all over.

Men and women though. So you'd remove your underarm hair and your leg hair and pretty much any hair. This was also kind of popular in Roman times, but that's when like everybody would bathe together, you know, they were like the Roman baths. But I mean, I don't have to do that as a girl, right? This was also kind of popular in Roman times, but that's when everybody would bathe together. They were like the Roman baths. But I mean, I don't have to do that as a girl, right? No, we don't all bathe together. Contrary to boys sleep over fantasies,

we do not all bathe together. OK. So for a long time, people either didn't shave or culturally everybody shaved, but it wasn't really a woman-specific thing. There was a very practical purpose for shaving for a long time too. What was that? Bugs.

Gross. You can't. So bugs like to live in hairy places, warm, warm damp, hairy places, like maybe your armpits. And so if you shaved all that hair off, you were less likely to carry around like body lice and that kind of thing. Which would be preferable. Yes. No, I think that we can all agree, men, women, whatever, we don't like to carry lice.

But then it all kind of faded out of fashion, especially as like hygiene became better. It wasn't necessary to shave, to keep yourself bug free. And so there was a long time in human history where women did not shape their underarms because Why would they right? I mean, it's just you know some we don't want to do right they'll make us It actually changed it not too long ago 1915 we can pinpoint the year that it changed 100 years ago That's well, okay in the scope of saw bones, that's not that long ago. Right. I can understand that in your new 14-year-old mindset, that seems like a really long time ago.

Right, because that's like 10 times my age. But for those of us in our 30s, that doesn't seem doesn't seem like that long ago, right? What are the 1900s? You weren't even, Riley, not you, Justin, but Riley, yes, wasn't even born in the 1900s. Right. No. 2000. Oh my gosh.

She is just a baby. So, in 1915, up till then, it was a period of dress for women when they would not have ever revealed their armpits, right? Women were dressing very conservatively, and your armpits were considered like improper to display in public. Because of the smell? Not because of any smell,

because men could certainly show off their smelly pits as much as they wanted to. It was more that they were very close to other body parts that were maybe more exciting and also you shouldn't show to people. I understand. But those were like buttoned up Victorian times, like even armpits were too aroused.

And this was a time period where you couldn't show ankles. Your ankles were way too exciting. I don't know what was wrong with men at the time that they were so distracted by ankles, but that's always dictated how we dress, right? We can't show off stuff, because it excites men too much. Right, my new school dress code

that it's hard to follow with my new teen body. Exactly. My new teen clothes. See, this is the thing now you understand, Justin, that for whatever reason, women are oppressed by these awful school dress codes in a way that men just aren't. I saw a guy at school the other day wearing a speedo.

Really? Is that true? It is very true. See, it's so unfair. We can't wear spaghetti straps and our shorts have to come longer than our fingertips, right? If we hold our hands down to our side. I have to have to come to your knee. Your shorts have to come longer than our fingertips, right? If we hold our hands down to our side. That's the answer to come to your knee. Your shorts have to come to your knee.

Mm-hmm. And your skirts and your dresses and your... You all have to wear, like, bermuda shorts when you walk around. Right. Right. This is terrible. You were bringing jams back? Yes.

Just what are they? Anyway. So, this was one of many time periods including the current time period when women are oppressed by our dress codes Thank you men. Thank you so much myself Justin But to show your armpit would have been a big deal until 1915 so women didn't shave him because they weren't showing them but in 1915 Harper's Bazaar released a picture of a woman wearing a new dress, an exciting new dress style that was sleeveless.

And she was very scandalous, very racy for the time. And she had her arms up above her head and clean shaven pits. Whoa. Whoa. Revolution. and clean shaven pits. Whoa! Whoa! Revolution! And they made the point that this dress is now very popular and this is a style everybody should adopt, but also you should probably consider removing any what they would have called objectionable hair.

Because that looks gross. It does it though. It does. I don't know. Is this Justin or is this Riley? Justin? I am Justin. Justin is speaking.

He thinks it's gross. And that's, I think that's why so many women since then probably shaved under their arms is because they started doing it and then men decided like, well, women are supposed to have, you know, hairless armpits. And so now most women do. Except that I think that that trend may be coming, well I don't know if it's coming to an end. There is a new trend of not shaving under your arms. But you have to die a pick. Yes, Miley Cyrus. Yes, Miley Cyrus died a pink

Justin who was now tapped into the 14 year old pop culture world. Right, I know all the hot celebs. pop culture world. Right, I know all the hot celebs, all the hot TV shows. You know all about John Green novels. Right. Yes. You want me to talk about paper towns? No. Are you sure? I'm no, I'm quite sure. Nothing against John Green. I'm sure they're wonderful books. That's another podcast. But I've never read them and now I know all about them. Absolutely, because all 14-year-old girls do. Right. Yeah, so since Harbers was our, that dress, all the sudden women had to shave under their arms, which is a total pain in the butt as you have now learned, because you probably should have used some sort of shaving gel or even just water, just water even is helpful.

So no? A razor that I dried off before I used it? No, why did you do that? No. Now you've irritated all those hair follicles and then you took probably some kind of chemical deodorant something and did you spray? It was a spray deodorant.

Yeah, it was just an deodorant. No, and now you sprayed that on there. So now all those poor hair follicles are so irritated. No, I smell like poor hair. And they. Now, did you shave your legs too? What? Did you shave your legs too? No. Is that a thing we're supposed to do? Now see, this speaks poorly of me if you don't know that we're in shaved their legs. Which is fair, I have a 10 month old,

so shaving my legs is not as much a part of my routine these days. I mean, a Riley legs are pretty clean. They have a little bit stubble. Like when I forget, I mean, when Justin forgets to shave his face. Right. But it's not that bad.

I didn't think women grew as much hair. That's, see, okay, then that speaks in my favor if you didn't think women grew as much hair. That's C, okay, then that speaks in my favor if you didn't think women grew as much hair. Women do grow a lot of hair, probably not quite as much as men, it's a testosterone thing, but you don't know how much hair we grow because we are told to shave it by society, by the media. Thanks, society. And that's why women started shaving their legs as well. Again, this was something that women didn't do for a long time because they weren't showing

their legs, except for, like I said, certain cultures when everybody shaved. But then it was in the 1920s, the flapper started wearing shorter dresses, but the leg shaving fit like Fad couldn't really catch on because by the 30s, the him length of dresses had dropped again. So women wore short dresses in the 20s by the 30s that were wearing the long ankle length dresses so nobody shaved their legs.

So it really wasn't until we moved out of the 30s into the 40s and 50s and that's when you start seeing, especially after World War II, you start seeing women shave their legs and it's really just a response to the fashions. If you're gonna, the hot new, yes, the hot new 40s and 50s fashions, when women are wearing short addresses and skirts

and then especially in like World War II, there were like all these pen-up models and they would have these clean shape and legs because they were wearing like bathing suits and shorty shorts and all that kind of stuff. And women wanted to look like that. And so if you were gonna wear the shorts or the bathing suit or whatever, it was just expected you would also, again, remove the objectionable hair.

So you're supposed to shave above the knee because I've heard you don't shave above the knee from your mom that you only shave below the knee, and then when you turn 30 it all falls off. That is not true. I think there were, I've heard this from other women, I think a lot of us were told by our moms that you only need to shave from the knee down. That is not the case.

Well, you don't, let me say this, you don't need to shave anything. You shave if you want to, exactly. Don me say this you don't need to shave anything you shave if you want to Exactly don't shave if you don't want to shave who cares? It's your body You be as hairy as you please. I mean this isn't my body because I'm Justin Yeah, and I would say Riley would probably prefer actually, you know what don't just don't shave anymore Because you did a really bad job of it. Just let her take care of it when she comes back Why am I she coming back? I'd hope soon. I don't know. Because she's just getting drunker by the

moment every second she's in New York. I don't like her getting hairy. But if you do desire to have hairless thighs, you should shave them because the hair won't magically fall off in your 30s, take it from me, someone in their thirties. It just stays there. It just stays there and grows more. So it gets longer. Yes, there is more. There is a spell cast when you're a baby that it just stays one length and then it falls off.

There is no spell that I'm aware of. Are you sure? Because we have a baby. We have a baby now. We could experiment by casting spells on her and see if then when she turns 30, if all her leg hair falls off. But that would take a while. Yes, this is a long-term experiment.

We're really going to follow this out. It's like the Framingham Heart Study. You know, a reference everybody gets. Right. I totally understand that. So we can do that. We can practice casting spells on Charlie later and see if her leg hair falls off. No, no, that is sadly not true. If you want totally clean,

shaving legs, I'd shape them. Yeah. Now, as far as deodorant goes, because you also brought up the point of deodorant, I did. Deodorant is, again, more of a recent phenomenon. People have wanted to smell good for a really long time. I would hope so. Yes, and the Egyptians were way into smelling good. They would like to perfume themselves all over. And some Egyptian women would even take like a glob of wax that was scented with perfume

and just put it on the top of their head at the beginning of the day and since it was hot, like let it melt over them throughout the day. So they were the original sensey pot? They were. Walking human senseys. Is that where we get the idea from? Maybe. I don't know. We're gonna have to ask. We have some friends who sell sensey. We gotta find out.

It seems like now with all of our hair on our heads that putting a glob of wax on your head would not be ideal Maybe it would then make your hair like really like shiny like a sheen What or it just be waxy be inconvenient. I would not advise this This doesn't seem like a very good idea. No, don't don't do this the ancient Greeks and the Romans were both into perfume And so everybody was perfumed they were perf perfumed, their clothes were perfumed, their horses were perfumed. Everybody just smelled good. Everybody just smelled really good. But that was great because then by contrast in the middle ages everybody just smelled really

bad because it was especially a time where for religious reasons you weren't supposed to be naked ever and so not even like don't even get naked in bath like by yourself right Because you may think like naughty thoughts, so don't ever get naked. Oh, no so everybody just kind of stayed clothed and Yucky So everyone smelled real bad all the time. Yes, if you could afford it You would buy perfume and just soak your dirty self in it.

So like, if you can imagine the smell of like body funk with perfume over it, that's the middle ages. That's it. That's ice cold. Body funk with perfume over it. But by the late 1800s and into the 1900s, people wanted to smell good. And they had identified that sweat doesn't smell so good. Right, because it doesn't smell so good. I think that's fair. I think some people might like smell the smell so I don't particularly. So you're even better than I thought you'd like the smell so much. I am a fan of deodorant. I know not everyone is, but I am a fan of not just the deodorant but the anti-perspirant.

Okay. You know, any persparence keeps you from sweating. The deodorant just makes you smell better. You can stop sweating. Well, under your arms. I mean, where you put the anti-perspirant. I did not know that this existed. Do you only wear a deodorant? There's a combo. There's a combo. It makes it so under your arms you're not so sweaty.

I mean, you can't like eliminate sweating. We haven't cured sweating. I'm a really smart 14 year old teen girl in my new teen body. I know exactly what antiperspirant is. Well, sorry. Anyway, yeah, so there's antiperspir brand, and that came around like I said in like the late 1800s, early 1900s, and it would help cut down on the sweating, and then deodorant would help cover up the smell, and you can buy a combo.

And then you can have both happen. I will have to look into that, and I'm sure Riley would appreciate coming back to her clean smelling sweaty sweaty cured body. Sweatless, sweatless, sweatless, sweatless, hairless, smelling good teen body. Right. Okay. Have we sufficiently covered the issue of deodorant shaving? I feel like we have.

Okay. Do you have any other questions? Oh, I figured. Okay. Go for it. What is a bra? Oh no. How do I... Okay. I found one in Riley's teen girl room.

How do I put it on? Oh no, okay. Well this is gonna get uncomfortable for both of us. Okay. So, I mean, I guess you do have to wear a bra because you're a teen girl. Well now you know, you have hot new plans with all my hot new friends.

And they involve wearing a bra. I'm not going to go out and public without a bra on Sydney. That well, it's a good, I mean, again, we're at a time where most of us tend to wear bras, not everybody. I only wear maternity bras right now. Justin. Thank you for that information. Yeah. They're kind of like sports bras, except you can pull them off really easily. Now what's a sports bra? It's a bra, like it's like a bra that holds like real tight, holds everything in place. Isn't that what regular bras are? Regular bras have multiple uses.

They provide support. They hold everything up, yes, in place, but they also are supposed to sometimes look nice. They can be fashionable. Great cleavage. Brawls are fashionable? Brawls are fashionable. They're fashionable.

Are fasciable bras? No, no. Okay. You don't show them off, but there are... I just go walking around with bras and kneeling skirts to school. Well, certainly not in Huntington, but maybe other places. Where it's acceptable to expose your brought- No, but bras are a fashion thing.

There are lots of different designs and colors and things, and I think there are women who enjoy that. Well. I like my bras to be clean. I mean, I would hope so, because that probably has another thing to do with smelling bad. Yes, yes. Braw's can smell bad if you don't wash them so keep them clean. Women didn't always wear bras. What?

No. They were even back as far as ancient Greece, there were attempts to like kind of wrap like wool or some kind of like linen around yourself just to kind of hold your boobs up. Because especially if you're, you don't know this yet Justin, but if you're running around and really active, boobs kind of bouncing everywhere can be kind of uncomfortable. So they don't just stay in place?

No, they don't just stay in place, they move. They're mobile. I wasn't aware. Yes, and it can be uncomfortable if you're really active. But it wasn't really because they had to wear bras or because it was expected of them from men. It was just more like, hey, this is practical. But then there was a long time when women just didn't, you know. You didn't do anything.

They didn't feel like it. No, you just, if you wanted to wrap wool around your boobs, you could, but most women didn't. Until like the 1500s. And that's when we start to see like corsets show up Which are you familiar with corsets? No Wait, should I be? Yes, I am. Yes you are

You know those things that women would wrap around their whole like upper body and it would squeeze them really tightly And you'd lace them into it and they usually had like metal rods, your whalebone rods in them to hold your whole shape together, like to hold your boobs up and to suck your waist in and it's terrible that women felt that they had to wear them. If you want to wear them fine, but women felt they had to for many, many years to as an ideal of like fashion and beauty and the perfect form and all that. And they could damage women. They could damage your internal organs, squeeze everything.

Beauty is pain, Sydney. I realize that now with my new team robot. I see you've tried to pluck your eyebrows. They didn't go very well. We don't need to talk about it. But women were courses for a long time, but women also didn't like courses for a long time, but women also didn't like corsets for a long time.

So it's not surprising that eventually a woman would get sick of wearing a corset. Specifically, though, not for the pain, it was because Cress Crosby, who first patented what we know as the modern braw In 1914 was wearing like her corset and then like the sheer dress to go to this party. And she noticed that the rods of the corset were showing through the dress. Oh no. Which is not a good look, you know.

Fashion malfunction. You want the corset to hold everything in place but you don't want to see the corset. So she asked one of her handmaidens for two hanker chiffs and some pink ribbon and sewed a bra. And wore that. Is that what brawls are now? No, not exactly. I certainly don't hand sew them.

They usually provide a little more support than a couple hanker chiffs and some ribbon. Feels like that would tear easily. I'm like that wouldn't hold together great. I don't know, but I'm guessing Miss Crosby wasn't the most well endowed if just a couple hanker chips were handling all that. I would think so. But I don't know, maybe it was really tight.

Who knows? There's no mention of underwire. What's that? Oh no, that's a whole other thing. Anyway, so she wore this bra that she made to the dance and all the other girls were like, hey, I want a bra like that. That seems great because of course it's suck and she wanted to be able to show off their funky moves. Exactly. They can't dance as well. She could she was

dancing much more freely. It was very steamy next. She was like, you know, like a gypsy all over the place. Hands in the air. Right, right. I'm like I'm dancing right now, you know, like that. And it was very exciting and she sold the patent for the bra, and then women started wearing those bras. But they really caught on three years later in 1917. This is during World War One, as you know, Justin, but Riley, you may not be as aware of historical dates yet. You just learned these things as you could older,

just absorb the dates of wars and such. When it was asked by the US government if women would stop wearing corsets because they needed the metal they were using for corsets for the war effort instead. So please stop wearing corsets and women did not need a lot of encouragement. They said that's awesome. They suck. Can I wear those handkerchief bras instead? And there you go.

And that's how bras happen. That's how bras happen. Well. And now you're wearing one, Justin. And now I'm wearing one. I don't know if I did it right. Is the strap supposed to be in the front? Oh no. Now the boob part goes in the front where the boobs are.

Oh, wait a minute. Okay. I'll get it right back. Alright. Well, Justin gets himself adjusted, real quick, I think it's time for a visit to the billing department. The medicines, the medicines that ask you

lift my car before the mouth. Riley? Yes. Do you have any other questions you'd like to ask me? I do have more questions. Okay. When I was in the bathroom this morning with the whole shaving mishap,

I also found what appears to be makeup. Yes. And I don't know if I did it right. Well, I didn't want to bring it up, but from looking at you right now, I just, you tell me what you've done with these products. So, I found is it mascara? Yes, mascara, but sure.

Go for it. So, it has a comb and I... Is that for your hair? Oh, that, okay. That explains a lot. I see. Yes, you've got some streaks going on there. Isn't that the new fashion?

To have stiff streaks of mascara running through your hair. Right. No. And I found what appears to be blush. Yes. Red stuff. Okay. Where did you put that?

Does that go around your mouth and your eyes? Again, that explains a lot. Do you now... does Riley usually look like a scary clown? Like typically do you think? No. Okay, did you use a mirror while you applied these substances? Are you supposed to? I thought it was just a thing that girls knew and it's just an instinct. No, it just happened. No, you need to check yourself out in the mirror and see if you think this is a. I look pretty fly. No, no, that's not cool.

Silage when I wanted to go fix my, my bra situation. I mean, I looked in the mirror. I thought I looked pretty cool. We're gonna have to work on the whatever the 14 year old Lingo is. I don't think it's hip or fly. I don't think that's happened yet. I've absorbed all of my other 14 year old knowledge except for the the cool slang. Okay, you know what that may just mean. Do you think Riley knew the cool slang? Do you think Riley knew the cool slang? Duh. It is Duh part of the cool new slang.

Totes. Oh, okay. Oh, no, I can tell you one. What is it? Tirt. Tirt? Tirt. Is that what Miley is talking about?

What she talks about getting turned up? Yes. It has to do with drugs and alcohol, I believe. Sydney. I know. Is illegal substances for a 14-year-old. And drugs for everybody, mostly. Right. Yes.

But especially alcohol, which Riley is enjoying a lot of right now. Oh, poor Riley. We're going to have to get through this show so that we can go save her. Or at least call somebody and say, there is a drunk. I know this looks like a man in his 30s who is legally drinking alcohol, but this is actually a 14 year old girl and she's very confused.

Have you ever seen the movie Freaky Friday? Let me give you a reference point. I have a copy of the DVD for Freaky Friday. If you could please find a DVD player. If you could just FaceTiming, we'll watch it together. Watch the entire movie of Freaky Friday and then we we'll watch it. We'll watch it together, watch the entire movie of Freaky Friday, and then we'll talk about it. And we'll understand what has happened to this 14 year old girl that appears to be a 30 year old. So, Justin.

Yes. Makeup, as you may imagine, is not a new invention. Right. No, women for many, many thousands of years have been putting stuff on their faces and all over their bodies in an effort to look more desirable to men or to themselves or to whoever I guess. I guess it depends on who you're trying to please. But it is also true that just like with the corset that we felt compelled to wear something

that was not very comfortable, women have done things to their faces and to their skin that we're not entirely healthy. Yeah, this mascara, mascara, sorry, in my hair is not the most comfortable. At least though, it's not going to kill you. The ancient Egyptians used something called coal around their eyes and this was a mixture of metal, lead, copper, ash, and burnt almonds and they would kind of put it all around their eyes. Now, is lead not good?

No, lead is not something that you should paint on your skin, generally. Right. Generally speaking, don't, actually not, not even generally, just don't. Not ever. No, don't do that. I have to say. Don't do that. Because that was probably a bad idea and may have led to led to led poisoning.

It's a great joke. Great joke about led poisoning, isn't it? That's so funny, Sydney. You got to give me credit for that one. Every once in a while, I'm the funny one, right? No. Okay. You know, there was also a period in history where women didn't want to have a lot of color on their faces,

especially there was like during the middle ages when if you had a lot of color on your faces, on your face, it would have indicated that you were perhaps a woman of ill-reput. Are you calling me a prostitute, isn't it? I'm not calling you a prostitute, Justin. Because I have color on my face from the blush I used. Are you calling me a bruh? I'm saying that if you were in the middle ages right now and you had all of that blush all over your face, I don't even know that they would think you're a prostitute. I don't know what they would make of that. Honestly. Would they

maybe take me to a hospital? They might take you to a hospital. They may expect you to perform for young children to entertain them. Well. But one possibility is that they would think you were a prostitute. Women of upper classes wanted to look pale. And there were times when women would put really like dangerous,

plastic substances on their skin like arsenic. And stuff to try to make themselves look very pale because it was very fashionable to look. So it's the opposite of the trend now. The hot new trend to look orange. Is that the hot new trend? From what I can tell from all of my cool new hip friends, yes. They want to look orange.

Is that from tanning? Yes. Oh, okay. I hope so. I don't know. Maybe? Or pumpkin juice. Could it be pumpkin juice?

Didn't you figure it out? You cracked the case. They take pumpkin baths. That's what turns their skin away. Hot new trend among, you heard it here first. Hot new trend, 14 year old girls, pumpkin baths. It was like a Harry Potter thing that went weird. Right.

Pumpkin juice, everybody. Baths all around. And then they just kind of poured it on themselves like, oh no, I spilled my drink. Oh wait, look at my coolness being color. And that, Justin, just so you know, that gives us a great segue into our next episode, next time, which is going to be about tanning and why I'm worried about all of your 14-year-old friends. But, but- It'd be worried about my cool, 14-year-old friends.

I am, I am worried about them. I'm hoping that they've learned a lot though. I'm hoping they have. Now, before we finish up this episode, are there any more burning questions that's going to help you get through this freaky Friday experience, Justin? I have one question I'm kind of embarrassed about. Okay.

So I heard real Riley ask this question. Yes. And we made fun of her for it. But I also don't know the answer. Do I have a uterus? Okay. So, Justin. Yes.

Currently. Right. You do have a uterus. I never do. I never thought I would say that sentence. Yes. You do have a uterus. All women have uterine, uterus is uterine.

Uterine. Yes. All women that are born genotypically, as well, that's not even true either. There are some conditions where you're born without a uterus. Generally speaking, let's speak in generalities because then this is gonna-

The average woman. The average woman, if we averaged out women, most women who are born genotypically women, yes, do have a uterus. Whether or not it is in use at the moment, so even if you're not pregnant, which is the primary function of a uterus, you do have a uterus. So you don't just grow a uterus when you grow a baby. No, you have a uterus all the time because that's, you know, your periods involve. What are those? Oh, no, we did a, okay, we did a whole episode on periods. We're gonna have to go back and play that for you so you can learn about this too, okay? All right. Oh, no, this is, I didn't want to have to have this conversation with Justin. Because I am Justin. Because you are Justin. All right, we'll have I cleared up some things for you. I think so. I think I'm more familiar with my new teen girl body.

We're going to have to go now so we can track down Riley who is lost in New York. Covering E3. It's homelone 2 style lost in New York. If you can picture Justin sitting in a hotel eating cheese pizzas and banana splits and drinking alcohol and Tim Curry is the is the concierge. That's a great movie. I Don't think it's a great sequel to homelands here. Right in 2014. Your all mind is that we're seeing Homelands. Oh my gosh. We have so much stuff to fix

All right, well, um, thank you Justin slash Riley for joining me for this very special, very special after school episode of Soul Bones. School's out, Soul Bones. School's out, Soul Bones. I hope this has answered some of your more complicated questions about being a young woman.

Yes. And the issues that come with that. I think that'll do it for us. Thank you again. Justin Riley, you have really made this fun. You called me Rustin? Yes, Rustin. And I hope Giley. Yes. Okay. Giley in New York is doing well. And I think that he she or Justin Riley, Giley. Okay, we'll be back next week. I hope so. To join us for our next topic.

Until then, I am Sydney McRoy. I am Rusted McRoy. Don't drill a hole in your head. Alright! Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artistone Listener Supported or comedy and culture. Artists Don't. Listen or support it.