Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Sawbones: Vaseline

Episode Date: December 2, 2016

Cold temperatures mean chapped lips and (for a lot of people) that might also mean Vaseline. But Vaseline is used for SO much more. Like way, way, way, way more. Join Dr. Sydnee and Justin as they talk about one of the most useful things ever invented. Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers

Saubones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You're worth it. that weird growth. You're worth it. Alright, time is about to books! One, two, one, two, three, four! We came across a pharmacy with a toy and that's busted out. We were shot through the broken glass and had ourselves a look around.

Some medicines, some medicines, the escalant macaque for the mouth Hello everybody and welcome to solbona's a marital tour of misguided medicine I'm in fine hoist today. I did until I felt the room filled with that energy. I didn't realize my name is You want to finish the intro there? I'm your co-host Justin McElroy and I'm Sydney McElroy I'm sorry and I'm Sydney McElroy That's good. That's a good instrument. Is that what I should a good Institute like that better? You know what? I'm surprised I'm in such good voice today because I'm in pretty dire straits My lips are chapped. Oh no. Your lips are chapped. Mr. Frost is coming around that coming one thing

San is on his way, but also My lips are chapped. Thank you for doing this show anyway. I mean, a star of such caliber, I would assume, wouldn't, you know, be willing to perform unless he was in tip top shape. So, Sidney, people rely on this. And the least I could do is push through this incredible pain. Do we not have an intern or someone to bring us some... Kevin? Some chapstick?

Kevin? Some lip balm? Something. Some Vaseline, perhaps? Vaseline. That would work, yeah. balm something some Vaseline perhaps Vaseline that would work. Yeah chapstick or Vaseline whatever whatever. Okay. Well, what is Vaseline? It's okay. I think that's a Vaseline is a little goopy for my purposes Vaseline is goopy for my purposes Well, do you want to know more about Vaseline? Yeah, obviously I'm pretty in the dark about it. That's good. I have a lot of information about Vaseline.

Just tell your fingertips. That's strange. Yeah, I just, I know a lot about Vaseline. Okay. Don't ask too many questions. I know a lot about Vaseline. Okay, fine. Well, I'll listen to you talk about Vaseline then. Thank you, Bridget, for suggesting this topic of Vaseline. On Facebook, I saw it and I screenshot it and said, this is great, don't forget, don't forget Bridget.

She suggested this and it was a great idea. Because I wanna tell you the story of the guy who invented Vaseline. All right, Mr. Vaseline. His name was? Nope, that's not his name, definitely not. He was a chemist and he was named Robert. She's brow, chest brow. Do you always say cheese brow? Let's say cheese brow, that's funnier. He was a chemist and he was named Robert. Cheesebrow. Chessbrow.

Do you all say cheesebrow? Let's say cheesebrow. That's funnier. Chessbrow. Cheesebrow. Rob. Rob and Vinod Vasling. He was born in London.

He was raised in New York City. And he was originally working on refining kerosene from the oil of sperm whales. Weird, okay. Yes, that was his original kind of goal as a chemist. And then kind of petroleum came along and it was taking over that corner of the market and he was interested in what other things you could do with petroleum. And so in 1859 at the age of 22, he visited an oil field in Titusville, Pennsylvania. And while he was there observing and discussing with

the various oil guys and the oil, the oil folks, the oil people, the oil, the oil, people, drillers, I don't know, that's fine. Whatever. The oil workers workers he learned about rod wax hello I'm rod wax welcome to the Texaco suspense hour stay tuned that sounds like an adult film star no it sounds like an adult film tool your way this is not going to be that kind of episode don't make it that kind of episode. Don't make it that kind of episode. Rod Wax was the stuff that accumulated. Listen, I was a 13 year old boy. You do not need to tell me what Rod Wax is. There's this stuff that accumulated on the pumps, the oil pumps over time, and would make them not work as well. And so that it would have to be removed. It was this like thick, I think,

like originally like black gunky kind of stuff. And they were talking about for, from a working perspective, it was a bad thing, right? Because you had to clean it off and it slowed production down. But the actual oil drillers really liked it because they said that the stuff was really good to put on like minor cuts or burns or abrasions It would help heal their hands faster or whatever on their skin

But mainly their hands that would often get kind of banged up in production and he was intrigued by this substance and Thought maybe there's something I could do to make it look better and cleaner and sell it to people for this sort of medical purpose. So he took it back to his lab and refined it down to distill it down to what we know as petroleum jelly. What is with, like, I guess there has to be one. There always has to be one person who's willing

to just like give stuff a shot. But what on earth would compel you to get a minor burn or cut and you're like, I got to put something on it, maybe the goop I scooped off the rot. Like what is wrong with people? I have to assume it was an accident that they were cleaning it off, you know, the equipment and it got on their hands and their hands. Somebody's hand was already cut or burnt. And then, yeah, I guess that makes sense.

And then they thought, all that seemed to make it feel better. Something, I don't know. Who knows? It took him about 10 years to really get the product that he was looking for. So I mean, he really put a lot of work into this. And in the process, he did a ton of self-testing. He, as in, like, he cut himself and he burned himself and injured himself in myriad ways and then smeared various iterations of his product on it. And eventually

what came out was what he called wonder jelly. This is just full of this. Full of great terms. It was not immediately clear to everyone what it was for. Even though called Wonder Jelly. This is just full of, this episode is full of them. Great terms. It was not immediately clear to everyone what it was for. Even though he said, like, look, I cut myself and I burned myself and I put Wonder Jelly on it and it worked great. And he went around shopping it to like pharmacies

and drugstores and drugists and saying, you should stock this on your shelves and sell it to people for their wounds and nobody was buying it. Well, yeah, because it's bizarre. You can't just call it wonder jelly. And although, I guess a lot of patent medicine people did crap like that. That's a fact then.

This is pretty common. But what do you do if your patent medicine just can't get legs and you need to get it out there to the people? Take it on tour. Take it on tour. Okay. So in a medicine show of sorts, I mean, that's the closest thing you could say, it was his own private one man medicine show.

He started touring the country. His one man medicine show. His one. I think that's the thing. He started touring the country, demonstrating two crowds, his wonder jelly. And what he would do is he would burn himself or cut himself used like open flames or acid or whatever Something very dramatic and then apply this stuff all over it now. Obviously it wasn't healing before their eyes in public But he would say oh, I feel so much better and also look at all these other scars. I have from past wounds

magically healed by wonder jelly The key to this is that at the end of his presentation, he gave out lots of free samples. That's good. Everybody took home their free samples. He would also specifically target doctors in like smaller rural communities. And then housewives, because back then a lot of, you know, kind of first aid and basic medical care was being provided by women who ran households to moms or whoever. So it would give out these free samples. It

caught on, they liked using it, people enjoyed it. So then they would go to the pharmacies and say, Hey, I want more of that wonder jelly forcing the pharmacist to hear people say that out loud. And then contact Rob and say, hey, I guess I am gonna have to buy some of your wonder jelly because all the people are asking for it. And I don't have any, so get it to me. At this point, he realized he had something on his hands, so he patented the process and he opened his first factory

in 1870, and this is when we first hear the term Vaseline. And where that come from? This comes from the German word, Wasser for water and the Greek word for olive oil, Olyon. Okay. Water oil. Water, water, water. So Vaseline, oil and water, yeah.

Which aren't supposed to mix. Those two mix, but this time they do. That's what makes it wonderful, jelly. It's great because in his patent, he says, like the first line is like, I, Robert, cheese, brow, have invented a new and useful product from petroleum, which I have named Vaseline. That's good. You got to market yourself again. That's it. I like that.

By 1874, he was selling 1,400 jars a day. That's a lot of Vaseline. And he founded the Cheese Brown Manufacturing Company in 1875. It won all kinds of like scientific awards throughout the 1870s and it was finally even endorsed by the Lancet, which was a medical journal, but still around today. It's been around a long time, in 1876.

Now it came in three different colors, and depending on the color, it was like a different line of products. So it was based on how refined it was. The more he distilled it, the more refined the product was, the lighter it appeared. Oh, okay. The stuff that wasn't as refined would be like red and then as he would distill it down more it would look more like blonde a she yellowish and then the most refined stuff look kind of whiteish. Mm-hmm. And so the white stuff he was advising for more like medical uses because it was supposed to be the cleanest product for hair, for skin,

different kinds of cosmetic uses and then for medical stuff. The red stuff was for veterinary use and leather care. Medicinal products that were derived from Vaseline and sold by the company were things like Vaseline oil. There was camphorated Vaseline, which was for rheumatism. There was Vaseline serrate and Vaseline confections. Delicious.

Yeah, which were for all different kinds of throat and lung problems. There was a capsicum Vaseline that you were supposed to apply to your skin for like a sore throat or a chest cold, like someone would have a mustard plaster. Okay. Except it didn't, you know, mustard plasters would blister the skin when they use them. Vaseline would not. Okay. Except it didn't, you know, mustard plasters would blister the skin when they used them. Vastling would not. Okay. There was a carbolated Vaseline that they sold to use for dressings, wound dressings to try

to like kill bacteria. Well, they didn't know that. But, you know, keep things clean. Mintolated Vaseline, which you could use for headaches or nerve pain. You could use white vaseline for colds and sore throats, and this was actually recommended to take internally. Oh, gross. Yeah, you ate spoonfuls of vaseline.

Oh, no. And they advertise that children take it more readily than other medicines. Ew, dirty children. We're here children. I don't know. I don't know where those kids were who were like, mommy. Mommy? Can I have some more Vaseline, please?

Please, Mommy. But back then, that was probably like, cotton candy to them, because everything sucked. They didn't know what good things were. You know, the back cam. So they, Vaseline. So they, Vaseline, cause I guess this is candy, cause they didn't know anything.

Is this good? Is this good? Weed Horehound. Horehounder this. Like, I guess the, in comparison, it's not the best. My mom loves or held Go on There was Vaseline camp for ice which was great for chapped hands and chapped lips This is like a lot of brand diversification. I tend to think of that as like a more modern thing like

But this is like the gatorade of it There's a lot like this is a Vaseline bitter mountain rush. There really was. There was a lip ice specifically for lips. In addition to the camphor ice, which you could use on hands or lips. And then there was one boy-rated petroleum jelly, which you were supposed to put on your baby's eyes. Why? Just to soothe them if they get irritated. They were all just different form. from and right now please keep in mind I am just telling you about the medical uses I could read you equally long lists of

cosmetic products of various like cleaning things lubricate lubricants for like you know your machines like mechanical uses I mean there were endless uses for Vaseline. These are just some of the medical applications. That's why I can see why it caught on some hard. Yes, it was everywhere. So, but you said you were gonna tell me about the guy who made it. So I wanna hear more about him. Okay, well, there's a little more to his story,

but before we get to that, why don't we go to the billing department? Let's go! The medicines, the medicines that ask you let my cards before the mouth! Podcast. Podcast. Podcast. There are audio programs that tell smart stories. In innovative ways, using editing techniques like this, like this.

Like this? But let's face it all that smart stuff can be exhausting that's where stop podcasting yourself comes in it's so stupid it's just two stupid dinghises being dumb idiot jerks for 90 minutes stop podcasting yourself the stupid show that smart people love find it it on iTunes. Our maximumfund.org. So Vaseline Fever was sweeping the nation. That's right. Because of how many different products were being marketed and how many different uses,

you know, there were for Vaseline in its various forms, everybody was buying it. So it became the standard for diaper rash, for instance. It was every nursery was going to have a tub of Vaseline to, you know, smear on their little baby, little baby bottoms. They used it, of course, for dry-chap skin. So everybody would have a tub in the winter, for their lips, for their hands, anything, anything that, that you can think of, people are using Vaseline for. In addition to that, it was widely used in the cosmetic industry as I alluded to. Not just the medical industry was wild about Vaseline, so it was commonly used for like

hair tonic, pomade, if you wanted to give your hair like a swoopy-do. Yeah, like how a swoopy-do. Kind of a swoopy-do. How that cool spit curl look. Exactly. Use Vaseline. I want to look like a total creep. You could just use a swoopy do. Kind of a swoopy do. How that cool spit curl look. Exactly, use Vaseline. I want to look like a total creep. You could just use a lot of it. She's a lot of Vaseline.

It's exactly, it's like indirectly proportionate to, you know, directly proportionate to how much you want to look like a creep is how much Vaseline you put in. You want to look like a slick guy. I got to slick this. Like a smooth operator. It's zootsy riot. You used Vaseline.

It was used for even hair coloring coloring like they would put coloring in it And then you can just kind of smear it over your hair and it would it's like painting your hair in the recovery I think I saw a Ron poopy old selling something like that There was eyelash coloring eyebrow coloring nail and cuticle cream cold cream shampoos made out of Vaseline That's not that's it lit it That's not, it's water resistant. That doesn't make sense. It was marketed as like soupless shampoo. Because that's what everybody's looking for.

It's like my shampoo makes my hair too clean. It's look at these suds disgusting. Immatators popped up because of this. And because, well, his process was patented, you could go get the rod wax if you really wanted it. It was really cheap stuff. That was part of why he started this to begin with. It was really cheap stuff on the front end to just, you know, and they were getting rid of it, just take it. So a lot of amateurs popped up and that's when in the 1880s, we see the introduction of that blue seal on Vaseline. That's why. Because that was iconic.

That is Vaseline. You knew you were getting the authentic triple distilled, that was so how we marketed it. He tripled distilled it meaning it was the cleanest stuff you could buy Vaseline from other competitors because of that blue seal. Although I imagine it enough time has passed now that the patent is gone, right?

Like it's probably a if you buy generic petroleum jelly, is it getting the same stuff? Exactly. I'm sure you're getting the same stuff, but the name Vaseline, I think has become so intrinsically linked with the product. You know, it's one of those names that you almost don't think of it as a brand name, even though it is. In 1883, Queen Victoria actually knighted him, knighted. She's proud for this, for his discovery, and then kind of endorsed it, saying she liked

to use it for her dry skin as well. Well, from the top to the bottom, everybody's crazy about Vaseline. It was taken to the North Pole by Commander Robert Perry on his expedition there in 1909. It seems smart. Yeah, for his dry chapskin. And for his hair. You know, he didn't know maybe there were ice ladies up there. And he needed a swoopy dude.

And you have to be cool, dude. In World War I, U.S. soldiers used it for cuts and burns. And we also talked about this in the sun, sunscreen episode. Remember red vet pet, red veterinary petroleum jelly? No. We talked about it. Oh, yeah, okay. It was a kind of sunsolar thing, Sydney. It was derived from the, the red form of the petroleum jelly. It was used as like a sunblock.

So you could cover yourself in red vet pet and not get sunburn. Medics would have it in their bags on the front lines. Soldiers would write home and ask for loved ones like police and cookies and petroleum jelly, Vaseline. They actually used it to barter with British soldiers commonly. Oh wow.

I don't know what they were bartering for. More petroleum jelly. They're just trading back and forth Vaseline. They just wanted something to do. In 1913, the Kimistia Williams added cold us to Vaseline, which was the first mascara. Okay. Cold us in Vaseline.

Put that on your eyes. Hey, ladies. You know where this would go? Well, on your eyes. Wait, I just got cold us. I'm not sure that's a good product there, because like ladies could just say like, I have cold us. I was not sure that's a good product there, because like, ladies could just say like, I have cold us.

It's the early 1900s. I have cold us, my friend. We are all coated in cold dust. Yeah, we got it, my dude. Where will I ever find cold dust? Who does my Vaseline? Oh, that's right, it's everywhere. I have a son made of cold dust.

His name's Gerald. This is gonna be on somebody's Pinterest board now, like DIY mascara. No, I messed up. Take some cold dust. But we don't have cold dust. I couldn't get cold dust now if I wanted to. I have no idea where to get cold dust.

Justin, Justin, we live in West Virginia. We can find cold dust. Just stop the persuading stereotypes. We don't all know where cold is. I do. Where's cold? When I did it, my dad got it for me. So just go to find city data. When I did it, I did a science project

about acid mine drainage in six grade. My dad got me coal to try to grow plants in. It didn't work. Didn't work. No, sorry. There you go. Anyway, in World War II, the surgeon general actually had a certain kind of gauze that was coated in Vaseline, sent to the front lines, commissioned it to be created and sent there to apply, you know, in a gauze form for wounds and burns. And there was this report at the time by the New York Times

that it helped save 75 burn victims because of this magic Vaseline gauze. I don't know that that's necessarily true, but I'm sure it was used on burn victims. I know you like to talk about this towards the end, but does it actually have therapeutic use? Or is it more like, it seems like protective more than, it would actually help healing, right? Yes, yes.

You're getting to the root of it. I know I'm getting ahead of you. So let me continue, sorry. Yes, right? Yes. Yes. You're getting to the root of it. I know I'm getting ahead of you. So let me, you continue. Sorry. Yes, that's okay. But yes, you are on the right track. Your instincts are correct.

As for Rob, he ate a spoonful of Vaseline every day after he created it because he believed in its health because of that. Because he had too much of it. That's trying to secretly get rid of it. You're right, if it is fast, is it good? What do you think, Jimmy? Uh-huh. What do you think that we do inside it?

Like, what do you think the return on that investment would be? I, my concern, I mean, it's just a bunch of hydrocarbons as all it is, all makes together. It's, you know, petroleum jelly, it's oily. I don't know that you would, I mean, it wouldn't, if you ate enough, it would harm you. I think, if we're talking like a teaspoon, I don't know what a spoonful is,

teaspoonful, we'll say. We'll talk about it. We're talking like a teaspoonful. I can't imagine it would harm you. Don't try this though. Yeah, I can do this. You know how sometimes fat-free stuff has other kinds of alcohols in it and stuff that make everything kind of oily and greasy in there.

And then you get anal leakage. Sure, yeah. I wonder if that would happen. If you ate enough petroleum jelly, same idea, just grease everything. I mean, you're not gonna digest that. I don't know, y'know, Karuni, why don't we move on? Sorry, I don't know this. This is out of my element.

In medical school, I was never taught. What happens if you eat enough petroleum jelly? How does it come out of your butt later? I don't know, I imagine it would be a greasy show. Oh, I'm sorry. How does it come out of your butt later? I don't know. I imagine it would be a greasy show He also claimed to have survived about of pleuricy in his fifties by having his nurse coat him head to toe and vassaline every day until he got better That's responsible. It just sounds like a kind of a fetish to me Yeah, it's a fine to be fair. He lived in 96. Hey, all right. Give me that pass that jelly over here So there you go.

The company would later become cheesebrow ponds, in front of ponds, make her a beauty products, and a lot of other personal care products. And by 2005, worldwide, a tub of Vaseline was being sold every 39 seconds. What are the ones that brand now? Probably Unilever or somebody? I think you are right, actually. I think you're right, it's Unilever or somebody? I think you are right actually.

I think you're right it's Unilever. I read it into that but I didn't include it because... That sounds about right. I don't know, I'm a doctor. I wasn't that interested. Reported uses now, because you can find people who still think Vaseline is kind of a cure all. It is used for leather goods, you know, to shine things

to keep leather looking fresh. I've seen people say that it is, it is used for leather goods, you know, to shine things to keep leather looking fresh. Uh, I've seen people say that it will like get chewing gum off of surfaces that it's stuck to or get lipstick stains out of your clothes, uh, to lubricate any kind of machinery that, you know, rusty hinges or whatever you can use it to rub on chicken combs to prevent frostbite. I found this multiple places that I guess people put Vaseline on chicken so they don to prevent frostbite. I found this multiple places, I guess people put Vaseline on chicken so they don't get frostbite. What? What really? I guess.

Sure. To stop fungal growth on turtle shells, I know this is a problem we all encounter on a daily basis. You can use it on car battery terminals. You moisturize your dog's paws with it, and some people recommend it for like different beauty uses for split ends. I've seen that multiple places to put it on your hair

out to prevent split ends. I mean, yeah, we'll stick them together. Stick them together. Sure. Or to like you put perfume on, and then you put a little bit of Vaseline over it, and it like holds the scent on your skin. That seems ludicrous. Longer.

Here's what I will say, kind of what you alluded to Justin. It is gonna hold moisture into your skin longer. Here's what I will say, kind of what you alluded to, Justin. It is going to hold moisture into your skin longer. So if you're talking about like will it heal a cut, will it heal a burn? No, but it will protect it from debris. I mean, if you've got a coating of petroleum jelly on top of a cutter or wound, you're not going to get dirt or debris or anything in it. I'm not going to say that it will protect it from all bacteria, but it certainly would kind of coat and cover and protect a wound while it's healing. They did find that their actual studies does work that after like laser skin resurfacing, you could put petroleum jelly on your skin and it would help hold moisture in it longer. You can, there are a lot of ear nose and throat doctors

who recommend it to moisturize inside your nose to prevent nose bleeds. Okay. So that might be useful for you. Yeah, cause I do get nose bleeds. There was though this one case of somebody using so much in their nose that they inhaled it and they got a case of lipid pneumonia.

It's like inflammation in their lungs from the... I've always got to be somebody around or somebody else. I've only found one case of lipid pneumonia, it's like inflammation in their lungs from the... I've always got to be some of your wounds over everybody else. I've only found like one case of this. I suppose I suppose it could happen if you tried to inhale petroleum jelly or like stick it down. Don't use that much everybody. Stop. Yeah, so just be careful with that. As a moisturizer, as a skin lubricant, you've got to be careful with condoms though. It can make them less. Strong more porous. Yes, exactly.

Yes. So you've got to be careful if you're using it for those purposes. And specifically for vaginal intercourse, there's been some concern about correlation with that and like yeast infections or or that kind of thing. I don't know that it's causation, but the point is you may not want to use it for vaginal intercourse or for, or with condoms, certainly. Um, okay, for use, as far as we know, for like, um, rectal thermometers, it doesn't seem to have the same irritant effect as it does on the vagina.

So, um, but that's about, that's really about it with Vaseline, but it's super popular and you can use it in, I don't, you know what I was thinking about this. Let's see if we have any. It seems like everybody has some, right? I just don't think we have any. I don't think we have any either. You know what's crazy is that growing up, we always had it in the house because my mom used it to remove her eye makeup.

Oh, it always has. Actually, I did that for a long time because I just thought that was what you'd back when I wore eye makeup. I don't want anymore. But back in the day, to take off my mascara, I would rub Vaseline over my, to wash it back off. Fire or not, it's man.

Go figure, I don't have. Vaseline. Vaseline, you can't do. What can't it do? A lot of things. A lot of things to me. I mean, what can't it do many, many things. You can't do many, many things, okay.

Folks, thank you so much for listening this week. I want to mention something, if I could for just a second. Every year, we, one of my other podcasts, my brother, my brother and me, and I would say our extended family of podcasts participate in something called MBAM Angels. And what this is is, there's this list called empty stockings, which is for our area, Huntington West, Virginia, and folks who aren't gonna have a Christmas

or can afford to give Christmas to their kids or what have you put in requests for things. You know, simple gifts that they want to get for their kids, not much, you know, clothes, warm clothes, boots, many a few toys, that kind of thing, but they can't afford to. And this list is so heartbreaking and it's published in our local paper every year. And we decided that we would start trying to fill those along with you are dear listeners. And if you find it in your heart to kick in,

it's really easy this year, easier than ever before, I would say. Because all you have to do is go to mbmbangles.com and there's a list of all the people who need your help and it is really as simple as claiming somebody, calling the organization to make sure that it's still needed and then getting it. And we've got the list, 60% fill up this point, but there's still a lot of people who need help. And it makes you feel great. And it's so helpful in an area that has had so much sort of economic hardship.

It really means a lot to people. It really does. Our community hugely benefits from it. People are extremely grateful. We get those comments a lot. So it'll make you feel great. So go to mbmbangles.com and help if you can. There's also if you want to donate money, you can just donate money. And they use that to buy some bigger ticket items that would be hard for

any one person to get. So please do that. And thanks to taxpayers for letting us use your song medicines is the intro natural program. Thanks to maximum fun for having us as part of their podcasting family. If you need a new podcast this week, I'm going to recommend Adam Ruins Everything, not just a TV show folks, it's a podcast too. And it's on Maximum Fun. And that's going to do it for us until next week. My name is Justin McRoy.

I'm Sydney McRoy. And as always, don't throw a hole in your head. Alright! Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture Artistone Listener Supported