Scamanda - Chapter 1 — Amanda is Dying

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

Meet Amanda. Her world is about to be shattered by some life-changing news during the birth of her first child. She’s dying. Or at least, that’s what she tells the world in her brand new blog.  Scamanda is a Lionsgate Sound podcast: http://lionsgatesound.com Hosted by Charlie Webster. New episodes every Monday. Listen to another Lionsgate Sound podcast hosted by Charlie Webster, Died & Survived: https://link.chtbl.com/diedandsurvived?sid=sc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What you are about to hear is a true story. It all begins in 2012. You might remember 2012 as the year the curiosity rover wandered on Mars. Or the year that Gangnam style took over the internet. Maybe you remember the Hunger Games smashing the box office. For me, I remember the 2012 London Olympics. Please welcome Charlene Waxler. Make some noise because this is the last night here at London. So are you ready?

It was such a big moment in my career as a warcast journalist. A dream come true really to host the Olympic Games and in my home country. Since then, I've gone on to present some of the world's biggest events, and as a journalist how many extraordinary stories, including this one. Lucky really, because also that year, you probably remember that the world was supposed to end. I don't remember exactly why it was supposed to end, but 2012 was supposed to be it for all of us. Well, I can definitely say, whoever thought that was very clearly wrong, but for one young

woman living just outside of San Jose, California, 2012 was the year her world would turn completely upside down. Late that year, a brand new blog popped up on a website called BlogSpot. The homepage heading was simple. My story, our journey, opposed appeared. What the heck is Hodgkin's lymphoma? My goal with this blog is to not only keep friends and family in the loop, The Ortha Amanda C. Riley. I'm Charlie Webster. You're listening to Scamander. I'm Amanda.

I'm Amanda. I'm Amanda Riley, AMA, NDA, R-I-L-E-Y. I work on the campaign for Leukemia Lymphoma Society, and I'm also a stage 4 refractory blood cancer patient. Amanda, then 27, had just given birth to her first child. Amanda's blog posts are read by actor Kendall Horn. Before I was pregnant, they diagnosed me with lupus. The diagnosis stuck for quite a while.

After Carter, our son was born, my blood counts dropped so dramatically that it threw another flag. It's hard to imagine what it's like for Amanda, the joy of becoming a mother, rudely interrupted by some heart-wrenching news. Her life will never be the same again. After a vat of tests, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Back then, the blog was the dominant way to express yourself and reach a public audience. Instagram was still being used to share grainy filtered photos of your vacation. In fact, Harry Styles joined that year, and his first post was a grainy filter photo of a bunch of deer in a field. Michelle Obama signed up for her own Twitter account and posted, hi, everyone! TikTok didn't exist! Bloggers with the original influences and a mandassy Riley was beginning to build her own online following by sharing her cancer journey with other young people affected by Hodgkin's lymphoma. I am currently in a support group for young adults

facing a stem cell bone marrow transplant. We have to write letters to loved ones to be given out of the big bad sea winds. We have to write an unobtainable 10-dream bucket list. I'll start with my 10-point bucket list. One, witness the number of people out of the big bad sea winds. We have to write an unobtainable, ten dream bucket list. I'll start with my ten point bucket list. One, witness the Northern Lights while staying in here.

She was putting out this blog like a weekly, a couple of times a week, and it was really like a soap opera. It was very easy to get sucked into the writing of it. Two, finish by dang doctorate and finally become doctor, Riley. Three, take my husband, Corey, on the field to meet the 49ers.

Four, take my kids to work. Right after she had a first child. They ran some tests and that's when they found out it was almost like the pregnancy was masking it or there was some confusion that they couldn't figure it out. But they figured it out and it was like was like okay you've got a brand new baby and do you have cancer? Just my scottied thoughts. Glad we finally have a diagnosis. Survival rates for Hodgkins are outstanding. I have amazing friends

and family to get me through this. God is good and everything happens for a reason. And that's where I kind of found out about it. I went straight to the blog. I just remember like walking through the airport, going up the escalator, in tears, being like, how is this happening? I mean, I just remember thinking, my God, is anybody safe from this? Amanda and her husband, Corey, needed help with the new baby. They enlisted the support of a woman named Mahasti, who ran a daycare out of her home. When I spoke to Mahasti, her fourth grandbaby had just arrived.

I'm spending time with my grandbaby. That's how I'm doing today, yeah. How old is your grandbaby? Almost two weeks old. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. That's very new.

Yes. Mahasdu ran her daycare for almost 32 years. I picked and chose my parents to be in my house. I was picky. Who comes to my house who doesn't? When Amanda and Cory walked to my house, they were really nice. I said, wow, what a good looking couple. And they seemed like they had their life together.

They came for an interview. She was breastfeeding the baby and Cory came in. I wanted to see if she's comfortable sitting there feeding the baby, breastfeeding the baby. So she came in and sat inside the house we talked. It was a good conversation, really comfortable. She loved that baby. Month or two months, them've been coming to my house. That one day they came, they were all dressed up like Sunday suit, both of them.

And they walked in, I said, what's going on? And they said, Amanda has a doctor appointment. And they left, and then next thing, know, the board of cancer came out, that she has cancer, and they're gonna go be going for treatment. So that's how you started the whole thing. I have the best husband anyone can ask for. I'm worried how it will affect my friends, family, Corey, but especially the new baby Carter and my bonus stutter, Jessa.

I just remember we were actually in the car on our way to church and Amanda started crying over this song that was playing and I was like what's wrong? What's wrong? And that like that's when she told me that's when they told me. What did she say? I don't remember exactly how the conversation went my dad was chiming in and everything too, but she just told me that she was sick. And it's going to be a rough road ahead. This is Jesser. Amanda's now 19-year-old stepdaughter. Though Amanda mostly referred to her as... My bonus daughter.

My amazing bonus daughter. My bonus daughter. Beautiful bonus daughter. Amanda married a man called Corey. My amazing husband. He's my rock. My daughter. My bonus daughter. Beautiful bonus daughter. Amanda married a man, called Corey. My amazing husband. He's my rock. My shoulder. My secret keeper.

Corey had a daughter from his previous marriage. The aforementioned bonus daughter, Jessa. I remember Amanda staying with shoes in pain. She just didn't feel good. Amanda staying her bed all day. She couldn't get out of bed. It was heartbreaking. She was my family.

And I wanted nothing more than for her to just be happy and healthy and be able to do the things she wants to do. What was I like for you? I was terrified. Jesser had already witnessed what cancer can do to a loved one. I knew that my sister had cancer and that was really hard for her. And I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if she was going to die. Jesser has an older half-sister, called Jamie, who was diagnosed with cancer when the two girls were only young.

To understand how Amanda fits into these girls' lives, we have to rewind about 10 years. I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 8. This is Jamie, the half-sister. Jamie has a different father to Jesser, not Corey, but they have the same mom. The first thing that I was worried about was my hair, because I knew that was the only thing I knew about being sick, having cancer was that I was going to lose my hair. It was beautiful and it was tough. It was Jamie's battle with cancer that first brought Amanda into Jesser and Jamie's lives 10 years before Amanda herself was diagnosed.

Their mom, Alita, was looking for ways to create some normality for both girls. My daughter, Jamie, had leukemia. Jamie was going through her treatment and she was constantly neutropenic, which means basically she could be around anybody, she couldn't get sick. So she was in the house a lot. A college student, Amanda, then just 17, turned up on Elite's radar. My sister, she goes,

oh, I know somebody who does cheerleading at the gym, you'll really like her. And I said, okay, well, let me talk to her. So, talk to her with the phone. And Amanda started coming over and teaching Jamie cheerleading. She just kind of almost like clicked right in with family. What was she like when you first met her?

She was really sweet. You know, she was young, she was 17. Just a really nice girl. Did you like her? Yeah, I did like her. She would come out on our boat, out on the lake, and the kids liked her. Just I think at the time was maybe six months old.

She's just a little thing. So they kind of gives you like how long she's been in our lives. That's how I met Amanda. And that's how our family met Amanda. At the time, Alita was married to Corey. Yes, the same Corey, Jess's dad. Jess felt like she gained another cool big sister when Amanda came into their lives. Kind of sounds weird, but when I was growing up Amanda really did feel like a big sister. Take us out to go shopping and get our nails done and

I thought it was all very nice as a kid, you know what I mean? And so I just automatically liked her. She'd ask me how I was feeling about things with mom and dad and how everything's going and yeah, school, just overall life. Jamie felt the same about Amanda. Amanda would come over and teach me how to dance and do cheerleading and stuff, and I looked up to her. Like I really liked those interactions that we had. Like she was a friend to me at the time.

Obviously she was much older than me, but I looked up to her. She was my, my buddy. If anybody could understand what Amanda was about to face, it was Jamie. She'd already been through her own intense battle. I always try to look at everything positively, and I've been like that since I was a kid. I've always been a bright side of the, you know, brighter side of things kind of person, but it sucked at first. It was a shock. I was holding onto my hair, but once that chemo really took its course, it was just coming

out, and it was clumps and clumps, and it was to the point where I'd go to bed, and then I'd wake up and lift my head off the pillow and there would just be locks of hair on the pillow. So we eventually made the decision to shave it off. So it wasn't such a mess. That first instance, and I was like, this is really me. Rubbed in my hands on my bald head. Really sucked when people would call me a little boy. They'd always be talking to my mom whatever. Like, oh him, he, mama, girl damn it. I'm trying to wear as much pink and sparkles as possible.

And up, I still got caught a little boy. I think two years, it was two years when I was too sick to go back to school. May 10th of 2005 was my, what I say is my final day of recovery. I saw treatments and stuff after that, but that's when I got my tubes out and that was the big day. And so what was life like when you went back to school? I definitely felt different from the other kids and for me like what I went through

was normal for me at the time like it's all I've known is my life and what I've gone through. This is part of who I am. I didn't really share even with my family honestly I didn't really share too much about what I was going through. I feel like when I got better, we just kind of picked up the pieces as a family and like moved on. But there was a lot for me that I was still, shoot, I'm still processing it. I didn't know how to address.

I didn't know how to feel. I didn't know what to do with what I was feeling like I was just lost. Amanda was 17 or 18 when she started coming around. She treated me great. I was still in treatment. My hair was growing back. I was sick, but I was healing. She taught us to cheer and dancing and stuff. She was just a good friend to us. She'd take us to Builder Bear. She worked at Builder Bear at the time.

We would go to her dorm. We'd go hang out, watch movies. She'd do our hair and makeup. She was very much a good role model, a good, you know, positive influence on me. How old were you at that time? Probably anywhere between eight and like 10 years old, somewhere around there.

She was over for birthday parties and everything too. I was sexually just looking at a picture my 10th birthday. That was my final year of battling my cancer. And she's right there. I have a picture of me sitting on her lap on my 10th birthday. She really was every, you know, birthday party, this and that stuff, like she was around there with us. Alita's mom, Gail, was supporting the family as best she could when Amanda started coming

to the house. She was giving Jamie cheer lessons. We met her with our latest house at her heart, her house. They didn't want to send Jamie to school. So she was being home schooled by her lead at that time. So having Amanda come gave Jamie an outlet and she did it with her cousins. We were thrilled. We were impressed. The Amanda that she she take the time to do this for a sick child. And you know, we had a positive out-and-a-bought one at that time. How would you describe her?

A teary, bubbly girl. I mean, does it seem like a really good kid to be honest? As a young teenager, Amanda was having a positive influence on sister Jamie and Jesser. But the opposite was happening within the family dynamic. Corey seemed to favour his biological child, Jesser, over Jamie, and things were breaking down between him and Alita. I didn't think things were right when Jamie really didn't want anything to do with it. Something was wrong with her. I would go over and he would fix dinner for him and Jeffa, but he did not think dinner for Jamie. It was upsetting to me very. That's when I first,

It was upsetting to me very. That's when I first, I guess, got a not a very good vibe from Corey. That was just not a good term at all. He would just favor her more and like everything revolved around Jessa and like Easter would come around a Christmas and stuff and we'd get like little things. But then here comes Jessa's present and it's this like giant thoughtfully put together like it's this big boisterous present and like, oh, well, thanks still I guess.

Like, I don't know, it's a tough spot because you don't want to feel unappreciative, but at the same time, like you can tell who the favorite is. And like, you could just feel it, just felt not right. Sure, after that, my daughter called me and says, Mom, Corey's leaving. Corey's leaving and she's taking my daughter, Jessa.

They would like, bigger and fight like any couple does. My mom and Cory, but nothing like super alarming to us kids anyways to me. But one day he just showed up with a U-Haul truck and a trash bag and just started taking stuff and said he was leaving. Like, there was no conversation leading up for anything. He just kind of came and started packing up the stuff and said, yep, I'm leaving. But it was after Corey and my mom divorced that,

that friendship started between Corey and Amanda. And then Amanda really became a part of the family when she married. My sister's dad, which was odd to me too. Yep, you heard it right. Despite the 12-year age gap, Cory got together with Amanda after Cory and Alita split up. What did you think when Corey got with Amanda? I thought it was weird as hell.

Like, she was introduced to our family, knowing that he was married to my mom. You know that's a married man. And you know the family. Like, you are, I guess I wouldn't go as far as saying, like a part of the family, but you're I guess no she was It's just weird to think about the how everything panned out and How do you how are you invited into someone's home to be a friend to their kid and you know teach them out of dance and all that stuff

You taking care of the kids certain amount of time and then Just a couple years later, you married that man. I took his summer off of work and helped her lead at the best I could to keep things together and pull things together. Her sister moved in to help her out when he left Alina. He wanted Jesuit to himself. How did that affect Alisa? to lose didn't help her out when he left Alina. He wanted Jesuit to himself. How did that affect Alisa?

It brought her to close to a breakdown. She went through to, I would say, at least three or four years at them, we kept kind of loofer together. It was wrong. We did everything we could to help her. Corey and I got divorced. Amanda and Corey, I guess, started flirting back and forth. Corey and Amanda, I think, are 12 years apart.

So, as we were talking about it, but it is very strange talking about it. What was strange, she's talking about it. You know, my daughter's right here, so I try not, I don't really want to say anything bad, but you know. Despite everything that had gone on between Alita and Corey, Alita didn't feel right speaking bad about Corey in front of their daughter, Jessa. Jessa is so often happens with children

when parents split up. Was caught in the middle of her dad's new relationship with Amanda. Never mind the fact that she now had to deal with her childhood friend becoming her stepmom. As soon as they got together, Amanda became very overbearing and really did step into that like parent figure, but it was it was a lot. I wasn't used to that with her. And so

it was just really weird to me. You know, my first heard the news. I'm like, what? Like I would never imagine a million years, you know? Amanda, I call and ask what we're doing and how the kids are whatever. So would she come and see you and the kids? When she found out she was hanging out over there with Corey, made it very clear. If you're gonna be over there, you're not coming here.

That's just all there is to it, just done. Then all of a sudden, one day, I get paperwork from the court saying that they want full custody of Jessa. I called Amanda and I said, because I'm thinking, you know, she's going to be on my side with this, because I'm the mom. Why would anybody, you know what I'm saying? Said Amanda, why is he filing for full custody of Jessa? She goes, well, we just think it would be better if she's over here with an excuse me?

Oh, I lost it with her. What did he say? I called her a bitch and probably a little more than that, because it's like, how can you do that? You're supposed to be my friend. If there was issues with Cory and I were arguing about something, I'd be like, Amanda, can you straighten him out please, joking around, straighten him out.

And she's like, oh yeah, I'll talk to him. We'll figure this out. So it was kind of like, she was almost like the go between and between. So you had a good relationship with her. A little bit, yes, until they wanted full custody. And I just felt like it was a stab in my back. I just kind of remember hearing more

that court things were going on. And as time went on and more court dates started showing up, I just remember things getting messier and messier. Like first, I started off by being alienated from my mom. Things just became a lot more complicated from that point on. And things just weren't really the same with my dad and Amanda. It was around this time that Alita found out that Amanda had cancer. I believe Corey told me.

I believe Corey told me. And of course, like, my heart just fell apart because I took care of a daughter for two years and nine months who went through chemo. And it's not a fun thing. And I knew that they had some trials ahead of them. Alita emailed her attorney with the news. This was to my attorney, September 2012. Just wanted to say hi, I've been working and just dealing with the stress of life laugh out loud.

I'm not sure if you know, not sure if Corey told you, but Amanda was diagnosed with lymphoma. She will have surgery on October 3rd and then will undergo chemotherapy after that. Jess will probably have a lot going on in her little mind. She knows that Jamie had cancer and got through it. Jessa was little and I'm sure she does not remember, but she knows what her sister went through. I feel bad for them. I know you have been waiting for me to get you the information on the checks I've paid to Corey. Corey and Amanda were going through

financial difficulties, so Alita was paying child support even though they had joint custody of Jesser. A court battle was still ongoing because Corey and Amanda wanted full custody. And of course, I was worried about how Jesser was going to get through this as well. You know, try to put differences aside. It doesn't matter at that point.

Cancer's cancer. If somebody's going to die, you're going to do everything you can to try to make everything run smoothly. You know what I mean. This was also taking a toll on Amanda. She took to her blog to talk about how she was feeling. My mind was so foggy and everywhere else besides where I wanted it to be. I was so tired from all the hospital doctors visits, trying to figure out finances. A teething toddler that has recently decided not to sleep the night and dealing with a really invasive, exhausting custody court situation to protect my beautiful

bonus daughter. The bonus daughter that Amanda refers to, again, is her stepdaughter, Jessa, and even with the friction in the family over her custody, they all felt for what Amanda was going through. Even Jess' grandmother, Gail. Yeah. We felt at horror, we prayed for, we just needed to see anybody go through that. Sorry, it's not an easy thing to go through. Well, I've almost made it through the first week of chemo.

When I got home, I mostly slept and slept. The vomiting was pretty brittle, but thankfully only lasted while at the hospital. The second day I felt like I had the world's worst flu. Day three is my arch enemy. I get to throw headaches, body aches, and stabbing stomach pains in the mix. Jamie, what was it like when you first found out Amanda had got cancer?

For me, when I was sick, I didn't understand what was going on. At first, I didn't realize how sick I was. The whole gravity of it didn't really set in with me as a kid because it's a lot. All of this was happening to me and I didn't fully understand it. But I remember thinking like Amanda's grown going through this, like she knows what's ahead. That's scary. So I remember just feeling very scared for her and sorry for her. Because I know what it's like. I mean, you have to have some kind of sympathy, right? I just started crying.

I was literally in my room, and I had these stupid papers in my hand. Alita called Amanda to try and smooth things over and end the infighting. I loved my daughter. Like, why can't we share her? Why can't we all just share her? There's no reason. There's no reason we couldn't have all co-parented together. None, zero.

It was that very phone call that it just literally turned everything. Like, turned it around. It's like, once things didn't go her way, then everything just went self. then everything just went south. Sharing was off the table, so the custody battle dragged on with no end in sight. But Amanda's cancer brought her, Corey and Jessa closer together as a family.

A big thank you to Jessa, my little rock star, for being so supportive and sweet. A huge thank you to Jessa, my little rock star, for being so supportive and sweet. A huge thank you to the love of my life. My rock, Corey, the man who tattooed, just breathe, down his side to show me we can get through this. I couldn't do this without you. I love you more than words can say. The family support became even more important as Amanda's cancer got worse.

She continued to talk about her experience on her blog. The doctor said there is no chance of my hair staying and I should cut it short. Cori sat with me and held my hand. Best husband ever. Amanda's blogs weren't just filled with words. There were hundreds of heart-wrenching and war intimate pictures detailing her journey. From copious vials of blood taken for testing, to step-by-step photos of a hair falling out. I was invited to attend the Look Good Feel Better seminar by the American Cancer Society.

It was so cool. I was among other women undergoing chemo. Best part, we got a huge goodie back of makeup. Chanel, Avaan, Bobby Brown, Clinique, Mac, Estee Lauder, Scarves, Hats, and Two Wigs. I got an natural brown wig, but I will also be a rock and platinum blonde. Why? her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, arms, her arms, arms, her arms, arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, arms, her arms, arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, her arms, arms, her arms, her arms with no posts, no pictures, nothing, not a word. Until. Out of nowhere, a brand new post appears,

alongside photos of Amanda and her family celebrating in party hats, with some amazing news. Screw you, cancer! I win! Twelve months of testing. Eight months of chemotherapy, and today is my day of bliss. We won! Kneat the little happy ending, right? Well, actually, a mandistory I'm Nancy Muscatalo and I'm an investigative producer. I'm based out of Los Angeles, California. One of the things I do often in my field of work is I post on Facebook and different social media,

looking for cases, looking for news, and I'm a investigative producer. I'm based out of Los Angeles, California. One of the things I do often in my field of work is I post on Facebook and different social media, looking for cases, looking for tips, looking for information on the next story I can pursue. One day after I posted on Facebook, I received an email, was an anonymous email. They basically said there's someone out there you need to know about.

And if you could do anything about it, you know you should. And that really intrigued me. I was like, hmm, okay, let's see what this is. There were links to a blog and the blogs were written by a woman named Amanda C. Riley. The writer of the email that dropped in Nancy's inbox insisted on anonymity. Nancy went straight to Amanda's blog,

and she couldn't stop reading it. Amanda's super cute. She's bubbly, she's charismatic. You can tell from her writings and her blog that she had, as one of the first things I looked at, I mean, she just super... Just like a little sister. Like, I would look at her and probably think, like, oh, this is a little sister,

a little someone that I would definitely want to know more about and feel terrible for and feel like, wow, this is harsh. Like, this is, this is sad. When you read the blog, like, it's very detailed. First glance, I was like, wow, there's a lot of pictures here, there's a lot of family, there's a lot of friends, and it was the ups and the downs, the good, the bad, you know, the help, the no help, it read like a soap opera, you know, that you get sucked in and you're like, oh yeah, no, wow, this is terrible. This woman has cancer like

This information seems accurate Only a few months after Amanda's cancer win a group email was sent around to all her friends and family With some terrible news Things were about to get much worse from Amanda Hi friends and family We are reaching out to all of you to share some sad news today. Unfortunately, we found out a few days back that Amanda's Hodge-Kinslam phoma has returned. The next year will be unimaginably more challenging for she, Corey, and the kids than the last year was.

The email went on to specifically detail what Amanda was about to face. She faces months of vicious chemo, full body radiation, followed by a bone marrow transplant. The any problem? The cost. One of the major obstacles Amanda and Corey will face through this fight will be the sheer cost of the treatment. We're working on an easy solution to help everyone offer financial assistance, customized

to fit anyone's budget. We believe in the power of prayer and positive thinking and know each of you will hold a mandate in a special place in your heart. I read through the blog and I'm reading it over and over and things aren't adding up. Things aren't making sense. The way I thought they should.

Something's just not right. Scamanda is hosted and produced by me, Charlie Webster, and produced by Jackson MacLennan. Amanda's blog posts are read by actor Kendall Horn. Peggy Amanda's mom is read by actor Jill Marie Hoffman. Edit and theme music by Nico Pellele. Assistant producer Casey Hertz. Assistant editor, Cima Graywall. Additional production support from Stephen Sletton, Will Hagle and Nicole Urban.

Executive produced by me, Charlie Webster and Nancy Muscatelo. Scamander is a Lionsgate Sound Production engineered by Pilgrim Media Group. you