Scary Horror Stories by Dr. NoSleep - Baby F*cking Shark

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's something else here now. Something new. From. Exclusively on Paramount Plus. It's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi Vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. You the hell invented baby shark. Well, if you're like me, a parent dealing with lockdown that has way too much time on their hands and has heard this song one too many times, you probably did some internet sleuthing. On the surface level, it looked like a Korean company called Pingfong, created the song about five years ago, and it became a viral phenomenon.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Merchandise soon followed. My daughter has been begging for one of their big stuffed plushies, and because I'm a single dad trying my heart is to keep my kids entertained while stuck at home. Of course I complied with that. It was easy enough to grab one from Amazon and get it shipped straight to my door. My daughter was immediately in love with it, taking it everywhere around the house, constantly squeezing it to hear the song play. I will admit there were quite a few long sighs involved as she did this about a dozen times. Any parent will tell you, despite how catchy the tune is, that it gets annoying after the 300th time. But I'm a patient dad,
Starting point is 00:01:28 I figured that the stuffed animal would eventually just lose battery life, so I did my best to ignore it and go about my day as usual. When night came, I told her that Sharky would need to rest too, and surprisingly, she didn't put up a fight. I tugged at the tail to turn off the song, just like the instructions said. But nothing happened. It just kept doing the jingle. My daughter giggled and said, Sharky must not want to go to sleep.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Well, even if that's true, you have a Zoom teacher meeting tomorrow, so the shark and yourself will have to get to sleep anyway. She pouted, and I hummed the shark song, changing the lyrics to say, Go to sleep do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-to-do go to sleep. She giggled and laid down, asking me what I plan to do with her stuffed shark. I'll check the manual and get them to rest. I took the stuffed animal to my bedroom and tried a few more times to squeeze the trigger to make the noise stop. But again, nothing seemed to work.
Starting point is 00:02:23 My next troubleshooting solution was to see what people said to do online. It's probably just cheaply made, I told myself as I read a slew of bad reviews. Maybe I can just get her a new one, or take the sound box out. I mumbled as I rubbed my sleepy eyes. In the background, I could hear the terrible song play over and over. Baby shark, do do do do do do do do, do baby shark. Throw away. Throw away.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Throw away. Throw away. I turned toward the shark, thinking I had a shark. thinking I had misheard and picked it up. Run away, do do do do run away. The singing toy now said, I rolled my eyes and tossed it down, returning to my Google search.
Starting point is 00:03:05 I wish I could just get away from you. I teased as I shut everything down for the night. No escape. No escape. No escape. No escape. The toy responded. That made me stop
Starting point is 00:03:16 and actually really pay attention to the next lyrics. You'll be sorry. Do do, do, do, do you'll be sorry. You'll be sorry. The shark said, what the hell? I said to myself, thinking I had lost my mind. I decided to go ahead and take the sound box out, thinking that this had to be my sleepy brain playing tricks with me.
Starting point is 00:03:36 I went to the kitchen to get a knife as it kept singing, this time with normal lyrics but much louder. Well, sorry, Sharky, but some of us actually do need sleep. I said as I found a good knife and was about to cut at the stuffing when I heard my daughter make a squeal. Daddy, what are you doing? She said, snatching the stuffed animal from me. Sweetie, I just need to turn it off for the night.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Don't worry, I won't hurt Sharky. We can get Grandma to sew him up. He's broken, I told her. He is lying. Doodoo do, do, do to do. He is lying. He is lying. The stuffed animal said.
Starting point is 00:04:10 She glared at me and squeezed her toy harder. You were trying to hurt her. You're a monster. She screamed. Sweetie, just give me the toy. I said. Run away, do, do. Do do do do run away, do do do run away.
Starting point is 00:04:23 The toy instructed her. And to my surprise, she listened, running to her room and slamming the door closed. I sighed in frustration, following after her. Open this door right now, I told her. No, you'll take Sharkey away. She screamed. I promise I won't, I said, rolling my eyes and wishing I had never taught her how to lock doors. I didn't want to call the landlord to come this late and unlatch a door over a stupid stuff toy.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Please, sweetie, it's late. Sharky needs sleep, so do you. Just open the door, and I promise I won't hurt him. I will even let you sleep with him, okay? I said with a long sigh. Judge me for my parental skills later, but I just wanted this ridiculous little tantrum to be over and get to bed, and I wanted to find out what the hell was going on with this toy.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Promise? She squeaked. Yes, I swear. She slowly unlatched the door. Holding her toy so tight I thought she would make the stuffing burst out. I showed her my hands were empty. And I wasn't going to hurt the annoying toy, and then obliged her by tucking her into bed. Go to sleep, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-to-do.
Starting point is 00:05:28 I said, kissing her forehead. The toy seemed to mimic me, citing the final lyric, safe at last, do-do-do-do-do, safe at last. Then I went to bed, too, hoping that the constant lyrics wouldn't keep her awake. I decided to handle the broken toy in the morning. But honestly, I didn't get much sleep myself. I was too worried about how strange the toy was. Surely I wasn't the only one that had bizarre things said by their toy. I wanted to be rational, and so my sleep-deprived brain told me to go online and see if other people also cited any weird things happening around their toy.
Starting point is 00:06:03 This was just all easily explained, right? A few forums I found encouraged users to check out an apparently hidden website that told about secret messages in the lyrics. It sounded like a goofy conspiracy theory, like that one way back in my day about playing music backwards to hear the devil. Still, your brain convinces you to believe things at night, and I looked into it. The results were terrifying. Children were harming themselves because the toy told them to, or killing their pets, and last but not least, setting fire to their homes. It was enough to make me jump out of bed and decide that I needed to just get rid of the stuffed toy immediately. I could hear my daughter snoozing softly as I peeked into her room, surprised to find that the toy had finally gone silent. Maybe the batteries had died at long.
Starting point is 00:06:47 last. Still, I didn't want to take any risks and decided to go ahead and toss it out. I snuck over to her bedside and reached over to take the toy. Instinctively I squeezed its tail, but no lyrics played. Sying in relief, I started to leave the room and went to the kitchen to grab the night. I had to be sure this was just some glitch in the system. As I opened the toy, I reached in to take out the electronics, except there wasn't a soundbox at all. It was a camera. My whole body froze. I realized that whoever owned this had been using it to spy on my daughter. I immediately tossed it into the garbage and then threw up. I took Sharkey back to bed and tried to get some sleep,
Starting point is 00:07:27 certain that the worst was over now that I had discovered what this sicko was doing. I messaged the manufacturer to warn them of how the toy was being exploited. Somehow, despite all of the weirdness of the night, I got to sleep. I was most worried about how to explain this to my daughter. She was already in love with this toy so much, but that worry never manifested. Because when I went into a room to wake her up, I was mortified to see that my daughter was gone. In her place was the stuffed shark dog and a note. I checked the house first.
Starting point is 00:07:58 The front door was wide open. Someone had broken in and kidnapped her, the same someone I was sure had been monitoring us via the toy. Then, as my head spun and I tried to not panic, I read the note. Squeeze me, it said. As my hand shook, I reached for the tail of the toy. Ran away Du-Dood-Dood-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Ran away WON't come back
Starting point is 00:08:20 To-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Won come back to do not And one final jingle to taunt me As I tried to not sob Mine at last Two-D-D-D-DU-D-DU Mine at last Two-D-D-DU-D-DU
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