Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Raising Humans with Big Little Feelings

Episode Date: February 27, 2026

Scheana and her “Payroll Husband” Brock are joined by Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin, the parenting coach and child therapist duo behind the viral parenting hub Big Little Feelin...gs, for an honest, real-time parenting workshop packed with practical tools and relatable moments. From toddler meltdowns to emotional shutdowns, they break down what’s actually happening developmentally — and why big feelings aren’t bad behavior (or a sign you’re raising a “spoiled” kid). Scheana and Brock open up about postpartum OCD, co-sleeping conversations, differing parenting styles, and the very real weight of mom and dad guilt — including balancing career opportunities with being present for milestones. The conversation also dives into raising a child in the public eye, handling social media commentary, and the one parenting shift everyone should start today. Plus, the BLF duo debunks the biggest toddler myths, shares their go-to meltdown scripts, and reminds every parent of one powerful truth: you’re doing better than you think. Follow us: @scheana @scheananigans @brockGuest: @biglittlefeelings Purchase your very own copy of the NYT Best-selling book & audiobook MY GOOD SIDE at www.mygoodsidebook.com!Episode sponsors:Get $25 off your first purchase when you go to TheRealReal.com/goodasgoldPlease note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a dear media production. From Vanderpump Rules to Motherhood and everywhere in between. Warm up the kettle. It's time to spill some tea. Let's get into some shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Hello, hello. Welcome back to another week of shenanigans. Today's episode is going to be a little different.
Starting point is 00:00:43 And honestly, it's one that I've been really excited to do. We've been trying to figure out schedules. we finally did. I feel like anytime I talk about parenting on here, you know, the winds, the struggles, the what is even happening right now, all of those moments, I get so many messages from you guys because as I've had kids, you've had kids, we've grown together, you've been following me for a while. And whether it's questions, resources, encouragement, all of the things, it reminds me how much I value the community we've built here, especially around navigating parenthood together. So a while back, my husband and co-parent, today my co-host, he came across an
Starting point is 00:01:24 Instagram account called Big Little Feelings. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that these type of accounts are what saves our sanity as mothers and lets us know that we're not completely fucking up on everything we're doing. You know, you always wonder, like, is everything I'm doing just going to completely put my kid in therapy one day? Maybe, but hopefully not. So if you're a parent, who has ever dealt with a full-blown toddler meltdown. If you haven't, your kid must be like an alien or something. Because, you know, you ask yourself, is this normal? Well, this episode is for you.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Yes, it's normal. All of them have it, but it's hard. So if you're not familiar with big little feelings, it is a parenting resource founded by best friends, Kristen, who is a parent coach, and Dina, who is a child therapist. So obviously they know their stuff. They know what they're talking about.
Starting point is 00:02:19 They offer practical judgment-free research-back tools to help parents navigate big emotions, boundaries, routines, and the very real challenges of raising young children, all while keeping it relatable and realistic, which we need and we love. So Kristen and Dina are joining me today to talk about toddler emotions, setting boundaries, which is something I need to be better about, and I'm getting better, building routines and how to stay calm when your child is absolutely losing it. I feel like I'm getting better at it, but there's still those days where it's hard. So, as I said, Brock is here co-hosting with me and we're going to workshop some real-life
Starting point is 00:03:01 parenting struggles and get Kristen and Dina's advice in real time. I know so many of you love big little feelings as much as we do. So please welcome Kristen and Dina to shenan. Thanks for being here. Thank you. We did it. I can't believe we're here. I know.
Starting point is 00:03:19 We're here. I mean, I feel like you, like, maybe we're raising your kids, but you, like, raised me in my 20s. You know what I mean? Like, I was right there with you in the back alleys. We were going through the same things, and then we all had kids at the same time. I know. I love it.
Starting point is 00:03:34 It's incredible. So we're very honored to be here. Awesome. Well, no, we absolutely love the Instagram account. One thing, I mean, not just one thing. There are a million things that Brock is amazing at when it comes to being a dad. But with the parenting stuff,
Starting point is 00:03:47 he's so good about finding really great accounts that actually help. He sends me the DMs and sends me videos. And he's like, oh, we should try this. We need to do this.
Starting point is 00:03:59 I wouldn't look at any of the accounts. Like, no offense. But just like, if it wasn't for him, it's just not in my... It's an algorithm. It's my algorithm thing. But that's a good thing. I don't know that that's that many men's algorithm
Starting point is 00:04:11 in the best way. Right. You're very lucky. Yeah. I'm proud of you. I know, I'm so proud of you. I mean, we, you know, even I have to send parenting things to my own. Like, I'm like sending my own stuff to my husband like DMM.
Starting point is 00:04:22 You know, like, hey, you see this today? So that's great. Well, the best thing is the thing about social media and the world we live in now and there's no excuse. Let's be real here. It's like if you have a problem, you can deal with you can, there's resources available where you could like just pay attention. And I think social media, I try to do less of consumption. more creation of it is the goal. And I try not to consume anything.
Starting point is 00:04:47 So I just don't look. And thankfully, I've gotten my algorithm away from Bravo and reality TV to all mental health, anxiety, power of positivity. And I love that. But his is all the parenting stuff. So he does the work and then sends it to me. And then, you know, we execute together. Yeah, it's easy.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Because you literally can go through and you're like, oh, wait a second. That's really relative to yesterday's experience. Or this is something that we're struggling with often. and there's tools for it instead of just struggling. And so it just creates that town hall effect. So it's fun. It's great. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:05:19 You guys do a great job doing it. And also, you know, it allows parents to step up or understand their situation is a little bit easier to try and give them the tools. That's the biggest one. And even, listen, I'm not perfect at it either. No. But I'm more, I'll tell you what. No one is. I'm more aware of my reactions.
Starting point is 00:05:39 And then I'm also more in tune with my daughter's feelings on it too, just because. because we'm blessed with the time. There's another thing. A lot of males in the world, it's a little bit role reverse. I am Summers. I'm mostly at home with summer and then she is majority working half the time.
Starting point is 00:05:53 It's called payroll husband. If you want to refer to it like that. But I'm unemployed on the payroll, which is a problem. So I need to talk to the union. I need to figure this out. Call HR. Yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:06:06 That's it. Rock needs a race. I call HR and your mom picks up. And I was like, oh, God. You're not approved, bro. Not approved. No, I'm not complaining. I love it.
Starting point is 00:06:16 We've got a good dynamic, a good balance, but thank you very much for me in today. I was excited for you guys to come in. Yeah. It is. This is our new world. And we have a little girl with very big feelings. She feels hard and I do want to get your opinion on that in a bit. But for anyone who might not know the full story, how did big little feelings actually start?
Starting point is 00:06:38 It started from a true organic need. I was a mom of a three-year-old and a one-year-old. I was a state-home mom at the time. Dina here has been my best friend for so long. 14 is when we met. We went to high school together. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:52 And so we kept, we were really close. We've been best friends, but like diverting paths. I'm sort of always have been like the reckless wild one. And she's always been the straight A student who's like top of her class and doing amazing things. Yeah. And so we just let ourselves fly. Like, you're amazing. We'll meet up once in a while.
Starting point is 00:07:10 And we kind of, our paths kind of crossed really closely when I had the three-year-old and the one-year-old. And I had read every single book. I had done every single thing you could possibly research because I was just like, I have to get this right. I don't want to fuck them up the way that, you know, my parents kind of a little bit, if I may. They did their best. But, you know, they did their best. I can say that with certainty. And so we both became hyper-obsessed.
Starting point is 00:07:35 And I would text her all day long. She would text me back. And we just kept thinking, like, nothing like this. exist. It definitely didn't exist at the time. There were a lot of mom accounts that were like, cut little cutie shapes and, you know, match these pajamas on Pinterest and all this stuff. And I'm like, wait a minute, I have spit up everywhere. My hair is in a bun. Like, I have intrusive thoughts. Is that normal? Does anybody feel that? Does anybody do this? I don't know. Nothing was really real. And so we kind of put our heads together and being like, I think there is something out there. There is something
Starting point is 00:08:08 missing. There is something that parents are craving mixed with, you know, therapy that this wonderful, brilliant human being is leading a child therapy practice that that only sort of the 1% gets access to. You have to pay a lot of money to have access to like mental health resources. Let's make this open for the masses. Exactly. We really wanted a page that was real, but also gave you the tips and tricks you can use when your toddler is screaming at you, when your kid won't leave the park. You know, when they're just having these meltdowns that feel so irrational, it's so hard to be like, okay, wait, what did I read in that book? What do I actually say and do right now? Yeah. So we wanted to tackle that. Yeah. I love that. Well, it's been amazing for, you know,
Starting point is 00:08:53 especially I'm a new mom. I mean, not new anymore, but like I didn't know what I was doing as none of us really do. So having resources like this really do help and it makes you feel like a part of the community, you know, where you're like, okay, it's not just me. And you just mentioned intrusive thoughts. And like that was another thing where did you have postpartum OCD? I had postpartum anxiety, although in a few years later someone mentioned they're like, that sounds a lot more like postpartum OCD. So I think I think I've heard your story. I think go hand in hand. Yeah. Yeah. But that was the thing where I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't think it was normal that I'm picturing. What if she jumps out of my arms?
Starting point is 00:09:33 And I'm like, she can't jump yet. But you know all of those things. And until you open up and talk about it, you don't know if it's normal or if you're fucking crazy. It's very normal, by the way. Very much. Very normal. I think the disconnect after that is how you then tell yourself to de-risk that risk. Oh, well, on the chance I do that, it's there.
Starting point is 00:09:53 And that's kind of like, yeah, that's really nutrition. And also seeking help, by the way. normal and you should see cup. For me, I didn't know that it really manifested that way either. I think you're in the similar bow where you're just like, oh, there's just something fucking wrong with me. My brain's just like spiraling out of control versus, oh, this is postpartum OCD.
Starting point is 00:10:10 I should go get help. I might either need just therapy or medication or EMDR. Very normal. And I get some help. Yeah, and I've done all the things now. And I mean, I'm not perfect, but I'm a hell of a lot better than I was four and a half years ago. I can't believe she's going to be five. I'm real. I'm in kindergarten this year.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Like what? Oh my gosh. That's crazy. It's crazy. Anyway, was there a moment when you thought, okay, this isn't just an Instagram page anymore. Like, this is huge. A moment? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:40 It all went really fast. We honestly thought that when we started this was going to be just our moms like, oh my gosh, girls, you're doing so good. Keep going, sweetie. Like help the world. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, within six months of starting our page, we had a million followers, just organically. Awesome. So clearly it was what parents were needing at the time.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Yeah. Yeah. What's something you wish you knew as a new parent that you now are teaching millions of people about? Oh, my God. What do you have? Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I think, honestly, for me, I've always been a bit of a perfectionist and especially studying this since I was literally 16. I have been obsessed with the science of child development. And so making mistakes has always been really hard. Like those parenting mistakes, you know, when you're just so tired, you're out of gas. And you just kind of lose it for a second. You yell or whatever. And then you have to catch yourself and repair it.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Those were always such hard moments for me. And I wish my new mom's self could have had a little bit more grace in those moments. Because I used to kind of kick myself in spiral in it. But really, it's just a human experience. It's part of the parenting game. And in fact, it's actually part. of your growth, you know, you have to have those moments. Definitely. I think I would have told myself that whatever phase you're in right now is probably not going to be the phaser in three months or
Starting point is 00:12:06 six months or nine months. And I think I knew that with the baby or with the kid, but I didn't know that about myself. So like when they're born, I'm like, I am a breastfeeding mom. I am a co-sleeping mom. I am a this kind of mom. And then they came and I was like, wait a minute, I'm afraid I'm in a suffocator in the the night. I'm a crib mom. Okay. And then I'm okay. Now, suddenly I'm a formula mom. And it's like, it's just, it, and now 10 years. I'm 10 years into it. And it's still shifting where they were like in their cribs for the first three years. Now they all sleep in my bed. There's just, you're going to shift and flow. And the more you, the control is a hard thing for us as moms. Like control. And it has to be just so. And I wish I would have just been like every three to six months,
Starting point is 00:12:49 this might flow. And whatever is going to feel better then you just kind of go with it. Uh-huh. Can I ask like a top of question? Just jumping straight into it. They're sleeping in the bed. I think that's great. Yeah. I think it's great.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Am I wrong? She doesn't sleep in our bed every night. She sleeps in her own bed. She comes in our bed every morning. But it's an open door policy. It's not like I'm saying you can't be in my bed. Like she's always, she will come in. She'll love to come in.
Starting point is 00:13:11 She'll jump in. We've got mornings now. So she'll come in and spend like a 30 minutes cuddling. I'm like and I hear a pet. I hear her feet just. Oh. I'm like, yeah, get in here, kiddell. I love it.
Starting point is 00:13:21 I love it. Obviously not at an infant stage. There's obviously the safety of like, you know, rolling on your kid. I get that part. Here's what research says, and this is why parenting, I think, is so hard for people who have control issues and type A. There is no concrete research that is going to say, like, your child must sleep in their own bed until they are eight years. Yeah, that's a hard. That's a hard test to get a placebo and an A and a B test.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Yeah. Other than infants where we know, you know, the SIDS risk, things like that, this truly is, studies will show what's best for the whole family. to get sleep and to be regulated and to be happy is what works for you. And that's why mind shifted because I used to be where if they were in bed with me, I could not sleep. I had anxiety. So I would be like, they're going to die. Are they breathing?
Starting point is 00:14:04 Are they whatever? They had to be in there. Now, now they wake up so much that I'm like, this is way easier if they're just in here. So we can all sleep better if they're all in there. And so that truly is the answer is whatever way. Works for the family. Everybody gets actual sleep and can be well rested is the best way that you should. Like, you love it.
Starting point is 00:14:21 I want to love it. Like, I love snuggling with my kids. And the reality is when they're in my bed and I feel their little feet on my legs all night, I can't sleep. Yeah. So that I'm like an irritable mom the next day. And that's worse for everyone. Uh-huh. Ours is like a break dancer in her sleep.
Starting point is 00:14:37 I mean, she does a full 360 rotation. I'm like, what are you doing? Usually he's on the edge of the bed. Yeah. I actually take up the least amount of Swiss face on this bed. And it's a king. And I'm like, I'm in. here like I'm just over here.
Starting point is 00:14:52 And then this one's wrapped up in the blanket with my other daughter like this. So I'm just like, I'm good. Don't worry about me. What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about what big little feelings actually does? Do you want to kick off? Sure. I think the biggest misconception is that big little feelings and this sort of way that we're
Starting point is 00:15:12 trying to parent most of us, millennial parents, is permissive parenting. I think that people have gotten the feelings. thing wrapped up with we let our kids do whatever they want and they are out of control and they are going to be cupcakes and snowflakes and and there's no behavior and blah, blah, blah, blah. That is definitely the biggest misconception because at the end of the day, you cannot be validating feelings all day long and just let those feelings then ride the show. Your kid will be out of control.
Starting point is 00:15:43 You have to say it's okay to be sad because later on when they're older, they need to know what to do with sadness. They need to know what to do with anger. That's not going to go away. And iPad time is all done. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. I get that.
Starting point is 00:15:57 But those two have to be side by side. It is not permissive parenting, just like people will raise snowflake, cupcake, out of control children. It's coming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, being in the space as a kid, you look at around at these kids and you're not judging a parent, but you're like, summer, we should just play this way and just to avoid a lot of
Starting point is 00:16:18 that issue. Fair. But I also do feel like it's good to have, give your kid the opportunity to, like now when my summer will see a kid misbehave and she just look at him, be like, what are you doing? Oh, like at Christmas Eve, we're waiting for this Christmas parade. And her friend kept jumping in the street. Prime example. And her parents are like, get out of the street, you know, or we're going to go home. But then it's like, you can't do the empty threats. If she goes in the street again, you take her ass home. You got to get her home. And so summer was just like looking at us and looking at her friend and she was like,
Starting point is 00:16:48 she's not listening. Wait, you can do that. You can do that. I stepped in. I said, just so with very clear kids, we're all representing each other. Okay. Look left, look right.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Good for you. I mean, especially with safety. And it's obviously, yeah. And I'm like, I get it. The streets are shut down. We're waiting for a parade. But your parents say, don't be in the street.
Starting point is 00:17:06 And then you need to have a consequence. And they can be okay. Consequences are no longer, you know, the consequences. I'm going to go like take the belt out. Right. That's not what the consequences. And so people misperceive
Starting point is 00:17:17 consequences. They misperceive saying, yeah, validate their feelings as, all right, let them go in and out. That's not the, it would be chaos. The world and that parade would be chaos. Yeah. You can say like, I really, I hear and see that you want to go in there. You cannot. Yeah. Yeah. The next time you go in there, I am picking you up and I'm removing you. Maybe you're just standing off to the side for 10 minutes. You don't have to go home yet. But like, you're giving a consequence. Yeah. The way to think about it is all feelings are okay and certain behaviors are not. And that's where it's our job to hold boundaries to help them learn. And I know it's so hard because they're going to push back.
Starting point is 00:17:52 They're going to cry and tantrum and you're going to have to carry them out sometimes kicking and screaming. You are. And the more consistent you are, the more you'll actually shift behavior. Yeah. Consistent. I'm like the parent where if we're in public, I'm like, I'll just give her whatever she wants, especially as public people.
Starting point is 00:18:09 I'll have that argument. I don't need that IT and D. And he will literally like, true. This is a listen right now. This is all. We're going to teach each other this. Let's go to school, buddy. You're like sparring with the top.
Starting point is 00:18:21 No idea. They don't know how to my world. This is my world. We get that too. I know. It's like what is the big little feelings mom going to do? You know, at the park. Only because we are not Sheena and Rock.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Let's just be very clear. No, no, no, no. Okay. But if you put us into a zoo, we are Lady Gaga. Yes. There are eyes. Like, there are fans. And we're like, what the fuck is going on here?
Starting point is 00:18:43 Can I take back on this podcast? But it's true because not only are we like, oh, God, like people are going to watch our kids. They're melting down. But people will come up to me and be like, hi, excuse me. My kid over there, he wants to see the gorilla. Do you see him? He's one with the snot.
Starting point is 00:18:56 He's screaming. He's on the floor. What should I do? You know? I feel like when you're in that situation, you're past the point of this isn't the problem. The problem it backtracks to how they get, how they feel like they're entitled to these feelings.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Yeah. That's, I sit on that. fence. I very much want to give our kids all the love and validate their feelings. But it has to be the second part to that. And I think that's like that's the disconnect, which is a very big point to make. It's like your kids' feelings are valid. But they're also four years old and they're not, they're too entitled. That's my biggest one. Oh. Maybe we get into this. Hot take. Yeah. I don't love the word entitled. So let's rock. Let's go. So we're doing the school experiences. They're going around. All I hear about is we're kind of give them the space. We're going to give them room to have these feelings of like,
Starting point is 00:19:44 therefore, what space are they entitled to? I think a lot. Go ahead. They have it. They have, they have it. They have it. They have it. They have what I'm married to. They have the space. They have two loving parents that validate their feelings. Yeah. But I'm not going to then in a school environment be like, oh, here's a space for you. You don't need to air quotes. It is a school. It's a real one. I just, I feel like in the school environment, In the school environment, I would typically be expecting them to focus on the educational side and leave the social aspect to the parents. No. To set the ground rules.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Okay, out me here because I'll make trouble apparently. Literally the preschool she goes to focuses on social and emotional development. That's the preschool. Let's bring in Dina, who has mentored under Dan Siegel. If we all know, Dan Siegel is a huge, go ahead. So Dina's a big deal in this space. And Dina, four years old. Let's talk.
Starting point is 00:20:36 What's all of neurobiology. You've got to think of it this way. The social emotional piece is their foundation for literally everything. And for all of life, you have to raise them to know that their feelings are okay because they have to know what to do with them. Now, what you're talking about is I want my kid to have real tools for life. I want them to be able to handle hard things and that is so valid. Now, the best time to teach those tools is once they've calmed down. That's why it's your job in the heat of the moment.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Do not escalate. Do not join the chaos. Do not raise your voice. Try your best. When the voice goes up, her and I shut down. You got to go Michelle Obama when the kid goes up, you go down. And here's why though. Because when we escalate with our kids, their brain goes into stress mode.
Starting point is 00:21:28 And basically, their brain shuts down. So does mine. Literally. Yeah. 40. It's all of us. That is just a human response. And if we in those moments add to the stress, your kid won't learn anything.
Starting point is 00:21:39 See, I kind of took it as the, I'm going to nip this in the butt. Hey. He's like, hey. And I'm like, no, no, no. Resensor this. If you're going to cry about this, you're crying because you're not getting what you want right now. So I try and lead with, hey, firm, but loving. And then, yeah, she does emotionally shut down.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Then she'll storm off. Have her moment. I give her her space. Not an air quote, but I give her her space. And guess what? The things are psychopaths. She just comes back, she's fine. You call her daughter a psychopath?
Starting point is 00:22:10 Sometimes kids act like a psychopath. That's okay to say. That's approved. There were quotes on that. Firm out down. They seem quote psychopath. Listen, I'm going to leave with quotes all the time. I'm getting in trouble in this one.
Starting point is 00:22:19 The whole episode is quoted right now, quote, unquote. So Brock doesn't get in trouble. Okay, so let's just really quickly. I know we should talk about something else. Other things. But, but Brock, I love you. I'm such a big fan of you. I think you're a great dad and you're doing amazing.
Starting point is 00:22:33 give it a four-year-old doesn't yet have the brain areas responsible it's called your prefrontal cortex for emotional regulation impulse control decision making so whether you're at home or i'm even going to go back to the school example they literally physically physiologically cannot say to themselves this is school, I need to behave today at four. Maybe we could start to have that expectation around six, around seven, around eight, and they're still not fully developed. Schools and preschools are very used to kids melting down or having feelings at the social emotional school. It's okay. And then we're going to go back to your example of like shutting down the emotions at home. We could be firm and not so scary and say we're done with iPad. But then like it's healthy to cry.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Yeah. So when she grows up and she's 16 or 18 or 25 or 26 or 30, she's going to learn to shut her feelings down because I know crying is not okay. I know anger is not okay. She'll shut it down. What do a lot of people do when they shut down their feelings? Here's what I did. I was in the back alley just like Sheena. I was partying. I was drinking. I was risk taking because I was uncomfortable with sadness, anger, bad emotions. I needed to. like, okay, shut that down really quick. Whereas if we can still say you're never, you're not getting this iPad back. Like, you can cry as much as you want. Say that in your head. Like, cry. It's okay to cry. Like, crying is actually really healthy in this moment. Let her cry. And don't give her the iPad. That's still firm enough for her to know. No matter what I do, I'm not manipulating quote unquote to get the iPad back.
Starting point is 00:24:25 But if I'm feeling sad, like I know I should cry when I feel sad. If I'm feeling anger, I know I should go punch a pillow or draw or do something with that anger and not shut it down. To then understand that emotional regulation for herself. Yeah. Hence why I had you here today. Welcome to the podcast, bro. That's what I love you, bro. I'm in the hot seat.
Starting point is 00:24:48 I love you, bro. I'm okay with this, though. You're doing great. I think, yeah, I think I do. Then that's the parenting that I was exposed to 1,000 percent. Like, hey, yo. very different down under and just I mean
Starting point is 00:25:01 we were just raised completely differently I was an only child for 12 years just outside of L.A. He was on a farm in New Zealand youngest of five with a mom who worked full time and yeah so could not be I was raised in the wild let's go
Starting point is 00:25:16 I love that and there's no time to cry and there was still the back then I gotta survive what I'm gonna call about like I'm gonna figure out how I'm gonna get this candy like what am I gonna do for this
Starting point is 00:25:26 But also like there was the belt back then. Oh, the belt. Yeah, yeah, I got hideings. I got hideings. But honestly, we don't. I definitely know that that's, but I think my biggest downfall is me trying to like control that situation afterwards. We keep going.
Starting point is 00:25:38 It keeps escalating. I don't see an off ramp maybe. And so I'm like, hey, this is the off ramp. We've had enough of this conversation. Take your time. We're going to be over here eating dinner. Come back over. So maybe I can work on that approach.
Starting point is 00:25:50 I just feel like she's too young. So that's the biggest thing. I can probably lead into that once we. give her, allow her because I think that's it. My bad. My takeaway was that. Maybe this will help you though. You don't have to stop your entire life when your kid is sad.
Starting point is 00:26:05 You can be there and validate their feelings and let them have their feelings and keep living life. And that's what we did the other night. We sat down and had dinner. She was crying because we told her she couldn't finish the Legos that she wanted to eat. I'm not the one that reengages with it. Totally. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:17 Yeah. We have, we have an amazing mother who just wants to make sure she's happy. I'm like, yeah, funny. So now we're on this side of it. And I'm like, oh, here we go. Okay, quick break and we'll be right back. Okay, you guys, I'm so excited to share that this podcast is sponsored by The Real Real, which is the best place to shop, authenticated, luxury handbags, clothing, watches,
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Starting point is 00:28:44 favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking about your best friends. your living room. So sticking on the same topic with toddler emotions and stuff, I want to ask you something about our kid specifically because I don't know what to do. My therapist did send us a workshop, which we have yet to do. We still need to do that. No, it's a workshop for kids with big feelings because the one thing is she gets like embarrassed but she shuts down really quick. prime example last night we're building Legos and she has made everyone in the family
Starting point is 00:29:31 one of the characters from inside out. Apparently I'm sadness. I'm like, because she gets to be joy and Riley. And I'm like, why can't I be joy? I'm like, I don't even cry like that much. I'm on way too much Zoloft. Like the tears don't really cry out. And so she did see me crying the other day
Starting point is 00:29:50 because our cat is going through hell right now and I was having a moment of sadness. but she gave me this character months ago and I was like well honey and I asked her last night and I go why is mommy sadness? It's not like my favorite colors blue. I don't wear glasses all day every day. I don't have a voice like that. And so I'm just like why are you relating this character to me? And she's like just because and then she goes and she hides under the table and I'm like honey I'm just asking you a question but I mean it's it's anything like well why didn't you finish the broccoli? It's just like she gets it.
Starting point is 00:30:24 like that, she goes and hides under the table. Another example, we're at Christmas with the family, and we're playing flip cup. And my little cousin was like, oh, summer, it's like this. And I go, honey, I go, look at how like Jackson's doing it. You just, and she's like, anyone else could give her corrective form, by the way. And like, hey, you should do this. She listens. As soon as it comes from our mouth, it's just like.
Starting point is 00:30:45 But she shut down. She didn't play the game and she hit under the table the entire time. And so I just let her because what am I going to do? No, honey, come on, play, play, let me show it. So I just let her. and I give her her space. She gets over it and comes back. But it's like, is that the best thing to just give her the space to figure it out?
Starting point is 00:31:02 Or what is it that causes her to do this? And is it normal for this age? And hopefully she grows out of it. Sorry, those are like five questions at once. I'm sure we have a lot of thoughts between the two of us. But to kick us off, it's actually the biggest compliment that she does this with you too. Because you mentioned she doesn't do it with other people. Right.
Starting point is 00:31:19 And that's because you both are her safe space to have her true feeling. So that's just incredible in and of itself, and I hope you realize that. Okay, good. I love that you led with that. Yeah. So true. And so we also have a workshop. It's called the Big Feelers program.
Starting point is 00:31:36 And certain kids are born a little bit more sensitive. Like I think you're noticing they have bigger feelings. They're also prone to shame. And that shame piece, it doesn't need to sound so dramatic. You guys know what I'm talking about. If you don't have a big feeling kid, then you're probably like, shame. Like a four-year-old has shame. No, but it's just like you put eyeballs on her and something is just the slightest bit of a correction or something.
Starting point is 00:32:01 And they instantly go into shame mode. And those kids also have bigger meltdowns. They're more sensitive to like their environment. They're more sensitive to your emotions, right? So if they're seeing dynamics are up, they're just a different subset of kids that are called big feeling kids, deeply feeling kids, whatever you want to call them highly sensitive kids. Yeah. And so for those kids, taking this kind of. reaction or approach to any kind of feedback is very, very normal. They're always going to be a little bit more
Starting point is 00:32:30 sensitive to how you are saying things. And you're going to be like, this is ridiculous. Like you should have like, you should listen to the way my mom said some shit. I just asked why am I sadness. Yeah. Do you want to come in on Bigfielders a little bit? Keep going. Okay. So listen, when you have this kind of kid, the best thing to do is to really build up their confidence, which I'm sure you're already doing. Outside of. of these moments and to really address how she is feeling in those moments. Yeah, go ahead. Addressing her, to addressing her feelings and giving her compliments or confidence,
Starting point is 00:33:06 sorry, not compliments. Yeah. Confidence not compliments. You hear all of this like, oh, you know, you should say, instead of saying like, oh, good job. You're meant to say, oh, I love the effort you put in. Can we get some more use case? Like some other things.
Starting point is 00:33:19 See, right? Good job, bro. Right? But we just keep saying that, oh, really. proud of the effort you did. I'm going to do a couple more role play that we could use on that for parents out there that have this instead of saying to your kid and maybe you guys can elaborate, instead of saying to your kids and you got good job, good job and acknowledging the outcome so they're trying to look for validation. See? But now we want to get we want to get
Starting point is 00:33:45 better at it because all I'm saying like I said is running around house. Oh, how did that make you feel? Was that awesome? But it's having those those kind of like little ones you can pull out to help you. First of all, Brock, are you a parenting expert? Look at you. Listen, I, uh, pay attention. I pay attention. You're talking about growth mindset right now. I'm really proud of you. That's what, okay. Like, you know, you know it and you don't even know it. That's incredible. It's in your heart, Brock. That's incredible. So you're exactly right when we just sort of follow
Starting point is 00:34:13 them around. First of all, let's just be real here. Nobody's going to die if we say good job. Yeah. Sometimes the internet is and they're like experts are being ridiculous and they're saying you can never say good job like guys come come a fuck down like it's it's better for long term mental health if we can get very specific when we are praising or complimenting our kids based off of what you're saying exactly is what the the progress the work that they put in so a lot of times i'll use my husband as an example you're so smart you're just the smartest kid you're so smart so he grew up he thought he needed to be the smartest he thought he needed to be the best there was a lot of lot of pressure.
Starting point is 00:34:53 I like that. Yeah. You know. That was me. Yeah. And an easy way to sort of avoid that while also building up their confidence so much is when they get a great score on a test is like, wow, you put a lot of effort into that. You were studying really hard.
Starting point is 00:35:10 That's such a slight difference. And that's the same with your girl. So if she's four, you're noticing the journey she had to get there. And you could even get to some of these experiences, like you're saying, if you notice she gets kind of overwhelmed at events or something where a lot of people are there. I don't know if she does. She does sometimes. Like she'll be shy in the beginning.
Starting point is 00:35:32 It is a little much. Like, I'll have her on stage with me like at book tour and she wants to sing, but she'll only sing with me. And she's a little quiet. And I was like center of attention as a kid. I'm like, give me the mic. And she's a little more reserved. But then she comes out of her shell and she's a crack up. Like this kid is hilarious.
Starting point is 00:35:48 but it's like with us and that's why everyone's like you got to get her in movies you got to get her acting I'm like she'll shut down we've had one paid job for her with she and we had a photo shoot and I'm like girl you're getting paid a lot of money like you're getting paid in your cougan account that I'm not touching and I'm like you need to work but it was like she was kind of starting to shut down again and I she's done this
Starting point is 00:36:09 ever since I mean she started speaking like one and a half two years old still the same reaction where it's like embarrassed and shame and like mm-hmm So again, big feelers where this is, this is the textbook big feelers feeling they really need to get used to their environment before they can feel comfortable. And there is nothing wrong with that. And when she's going to jobs right now, that might be the case. But this is where I would really bring this growth mindset in where really praise not like, wow, you got the microphone and you were the best. Like you're the best singer. Don't you want to sing? Because like your voice is so pretty. You're going to praise that process. You're going to narrate. You're going to narrate. You're going to say when you first got there, how are you feeling? Maybe kind of like butterflies in your tummy, you're feeling a little scared. Then I noticed halfway through. You were starting to warm up.
Starting point is 00:36:59 You were starting to get in the groove. And when you were singing, you looked happy. Did you feel? Yeah, you felt so happy when you were singing. That was amazing. Like, how do you feel? Do you feel proud? And that's sort of this growth mindset moment where there's not the pressure of, I'm a good singer.
Starting point is 00:37:15 What's wrong with me that I can't get up there and sing? Instead, they're realizing, okay, I'm going to feel scared. Then I'm going to warm up. And I'm a singer. I can do that. Right. That growth is possible because when we're only praising the outcomes, what ends up happening is our kids become afraid to take risk.
Starting point is 00:37:32 They might not want to try something that I may not be good at or I may not look like I'm smart anymore. So I'm just not going to do that. We want them to feel comfortable not being good at stuff. Trying it, failing at it, learning from it. and us really making that the norm. That with more practice, we can get better at something. We can grow.
Starting point is 00:37:52 And then you praise that journey. You're praising how they got there. Yeah. One thing I have noticed is the mom and dad guilt. And this is to you as well, honey, kind of like elaborate. Maybe you can elaborate on where your guilt comes from as a mother. Because, for example, we're working, we're traveling. I've been gone for four days.
Starting point is 00:38:09 I have to be around my kid. And it's like, for me, I'm like, our kid's completely fine with our husband gone. She's in a safe environment. She loves where she's at. So, like, just take a beat. Like, understand that we've done the right things. You're not, we're not taking away from our child's things. How can parents that have this guilt that she, and you can touch on it too.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Something we talk about, I'm like, honey, relax. We don't have to, you don't have to pick her up. You don't have to do this. We have a team. It takes a village and we have a good village. I never want to miss a moment, you know? It's like, he's going to take her to jujitsu today. And then I'm like, but last time he took her, there was something that I missed.
Starting point is 00:38:44 And I'm like, did you get a video? And he's like, no, I was just in the moment. And I'm like, I want to do everything. I can't do everything. I'm a working mom. I can't drop her off and pick her up every single day and do all of the classes and stuff. I'm so fortunate to have such an amazing. But I feel like I need to.
Starting point is 00:38:58 And then it's like, I feel guilty if I'm not putting her down every night because I'm like, no, no, I do my girls night dinners at 8.30. So I can put her down and then go out. But then it's like, my friends are like, this is kind of late, you know? And I'm like, but I have to be there for my kid. And then it's the public eye and you get the judgment. Like, you're never with your kid. I'm like, yes, I am. I did dinner at 9 o'clock so I could put my kid down.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Isn't it wild how much we do for our kids and yet we still feel this skill? Compete to like, exactly. That's where I get. I'm like, honey, take an inventory of the things we've done. You're okay. Yeah. The advice is to, is to be a man. Why?
Starting point is 00:39:35 How? Brock, that's the first time I've ever heard dad guilt in a sentence there. I mean, but he's saying like he's totally fine with it. And it is, so when you think of it objectively, Sheena, do you feel the same way, right? If you were to be really objective about it, would you be like, no, I am there for her all the time? I can take a girl.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Like, if it was a friend, you'd be like, you can take one night a week or a month or whatever it is. Absolutely. So, I mean, I don't know about you, but I feel the exact same way. I feel guilty sitting right here. My husband is home and he is with the kids. He's having a blast, by the way.
Starting point is 00:40:06 He's having a blast. He's like, yo, what do you guys want to do? Let's do it. Dude, he's cleaning out the garage, but with them. And they are having a blast. You know, they're like tougherware. They're like doing all the things, like organizing and going to the post office. And I'm like, oh, you know.
Starting point is 00:40:19 And then my kid had acting class last night. And I didn't get to take her to it. And it was her first one. And I don't know if you have advice. But I feel the exact same way. We had to be out of town. And it was a jujitsu competition. And it would have been her first one.
Starting point is 00:40:35 And I go, nope, we'll do the next one. I'm not missing her first competition because it's just. But then she missed her first competition because I. Because of you. Yeah, because of me. I'm like, there was. She's four. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:45 First of all, she got plenty of time. First of all, I also did. I was okay for missing that one because of the, because of us dealing with the shame and all that. I want her to, I'm going to have that kid flipping kids before she goes into a jiu-jitsu. You guys, the things that I would miss to have gone to BravoCon,
Starting point is 00:41:00 I'm just going to tell you right now. Every year my husband and I are like, we're going to BravoCon. That's going to be like our couples, our couples trip. We never do it. But I would have missed, for the record,
Starting point is 00:41:09 I would have missed every milestone. Well, I think we know somebody that might be able to do something. Oh my God. God, I'm there next to her dream. It's literally my dream. So advice. I mean, do you have advice? I think you have to just kind of ground yourself in a broader perspective. Like, you really are there. We all struggle with this. And it's because we love our kids. That's why we feel this way. We love them so much. And we want them to feel that we're there for them. But the reality is, you are there for them. And they know that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:39 feel it. Definitely. I will also say that some of the absolute best advice that I have ever gotten from quote unquote seasoned moms who are also licensed professionals and we've had them on the podcast. We've had several moms whose kids are teenagers. They're also therapists themselves. Every single one of them when I said, if you were to have the number one advice for raising a really healthy kid, what is your number one strategy biggest big for your book? Every single one of them said have a healthy whole mom especially and dad so have interest have friends have a life go to dinner go exercise have a nanny that your child loves or a babysitter your child loves and I think there's something about child care too that we working moms feel horrific about like it's somewhat okay if it's
Starting point is 00:42:33 with grandma but if it's somebody and so the best advice every single one of them said that I thought that was It wasn't like, validate your kids' feelings or blah, blah, blah. The number one thing was fill your cup. Your child needs to see you be a whole adult. So it's actually good for your daughter to see mommy dressed up if you want to dress up or be in sweatpants and say, I'm going to meet my friends. Yeah. And I do exactly that. And so when she's older, yeah, it's actually healthy.
Starting point is 00:43:01 So that's what I try to tell myself, my husband, I wish she were here, he gasses women up that work and says, what an. example for your daughter to see her mom live her dreams, live her passions, make a career that way, make money that way, change the world, do good things like you are. And if the opposite, if you're, if you're sacrificing that, it's not so great for her to see. You know you're there or not. No, absolutely. And that is a really good point. And my kid, I swear, she holds me accountable. Like two days ago, she goes, mom, you didn't do yoga this morning. I was like, you're right. I love her.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Dad, you're wasting power. Dad, when he leaves the lights on. She's very intuitive. Don't forget to shut the door. Dad, you didn't shut the door. I was like, yo, you're a knock, okay? None of my own house. I don't like her.
Starting point is 00:43:53 She's going to help you grow. She has. She has. She does. Now, I want to ask you about parenting in the public eye because obviously that adds a whole other layer when we're just being judged constantly for everything. We've taken a bit of a break from TV.
Starting point is 00:44:09 for now, so we're not getting that, but there's still, you know, online podcast, whatever. But how can we protect our child emotionally when the outside world has opinions on everything we do? It's called me. That's my job. And like, how much should kids know about their parents being on TV, you know? That's not a question we've had to answer before. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:32 That's a very, like, specific use case scenario. It is. I mean, I will say we, even we, again, we are not, Sheena nor. Brock, but we struggle with this ourselves. We have Reddit account threads that are, you know, like finding our children's school and like walking and let alone, I mean, every parenting decision we make is just, you know, ripped apart. And we struggle.
Starting point is 00:44:51 We struggle with that and we are not you. So I can't possibly even imagine. I think I can speak to it. I think I got a professional answer for this. I'd like you guys to give to give me. Yeah. They're your, this is, it's your world. Don't worry about the outside world.
Starting point is 00:45:06 And if you let the outside world affect your world, That is the problem. And so by treated it as them like, oh, what are the people, don't worry about them. Put your kid in the car. Go on a boat. If they haven't, if they're next to a life jacket, you take a photo. Like, you don't let that outside. We were in Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:45:22 But don't let that get into your family because they don't have your last name. They don't know your situation. They're not there with you. And if you allow outside to come into your family, you're not doing your job. Well, I agree with that, especially when I heard you say you don't want to go to dinner with your friends because the internet is going to say you're a bad mom because you're never with your kids. I'll never understand. There's, God, who is? Oh, Kristen Cavalieri. She's a dear media person. All I used to see on her comment thread is like, where's your kids? You're never with your kids.
Starting point is 00:45:53 And I'm like, she's set out loud. She's protecting their privacy. And like, you can show your kids or not show your kids. But why like it makes guys just think for one second. She's not showing her kids because it's her boundary to not show her kids. It doesn't mean she's never with her kids. So I agree with Rock where it's like don't change your family values or what you're doing because you think somebody's going to fucking say something. Because you're going to say something anyways. Now, do I have advice in terms of how to deal with it emotionally? We talk about this all the time where it is not human nature.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Our brains were not biologically hardwired to have millions of people say horrible things about you and the thing you love the most, your baby. So we are hardwired to have, I don't know, seven conflicts or something. You know, you have a friend group. That's the conflict. And everybody, you know, in the Vanderpump rules. Like that's the limit usually. You're not used to.
Starting point is 00:46:50 That's the normal limit. Your limit is an upper limit. It's a real upper limit. That's the conflict you're supposed to be able to have or the judgment that you're supposed to be able to handle. So I don't necessarily have advice on how you should deal with it because that's just hard. There's always going to be the people who love you. and then the people who want to tear you down
Starting point is 00:47:08 and they're going to find something and it's not reality. But about Sheena? Sheena's perfect if I meant. I know you're sitting in the room, but I say that all the time. I am a securely attached person I learned recently. Oh, that's beautiful. Wow.
Starting point is 00:47:23 Wow. But I've done the work. Look at the grove. I would know what that means if I did the grove. One thing, when you mentioned about Kristen protecting her kids' privacy, What are your opinions on posting your kid, having your kid on reality TV?
Starting point is 00:47:41 Like, obviously, it's like we have a NEPA reality baby, you know? It's like she was born not on television, but a few days later. Like, there she is. She had to be, I think, 15 days old. Since she was 15 days old, she's been on TV. She's been on YouTube. She's been on Instagram. I'm like, is she going to, one of my biggest fears is one day, is she going to resent me and say,
Starting point is 00:48:02 mom, why did you have me like plastered? all over the internet. And I feel like that is one of the biggest things we get judged for is like, you're using your kid. And I'm like, well, first of all, any brand deal or anything that I, quote unquote, use my kid for, there's a percentage of money that goes into her own account. I, and even if she doesn't do anything with us, I still put money into her account every year. And she also has her own Kugan account for when she has like an actual paying job. But then I wonder, like, am I posting my kid too much? Should I not post my kid? Should she not be on TV, do I protect her privacy? Like, do you have any advice there? I think it's really a personal
Starting point is 00:48:37 choice and we are navigating this for the first time ever, honestly. Yeah. Especially with how technology has been evolving. So again, you're in this really unique situation, honestly, where she's been on TV and, and I think as parents, it's one of those things where we just kind of weigh in. What are we comfortable with? What are we not? And that can change over time too. Like, yeah. Personally, I, I don't post my kids online because of things like the deep fakes and AI and all these kind of scary things that have emerged. And to be honest, too, my kid can't necessarily consent to it. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think you're using your kid, but the flip side is, you know, can they kind of sign up for this consciously? Maybe not. So not to always bring it back to us, but just to relate, like we are parenting experts. We're little child. We used to share our children. Personally, I regret having done that.
Starting point is 00:49:37 But it was also a part of our journey and it was a different time. And so like Dina is saying, everything is always evolving. You don't know until you know. You start out and you're like, of course I'm going to share this beautiful, wonderful. This is my whole light. This is the light of my life. At a certain point for us, it started to feel really bad. When people start weighing in online about like, well, Tallulah is, you know, spoiled and entitled or this or that.
Starting point is 00:49:57 And I'm like, whoa. Okay. That doesn't feel good to me. And so what I would say to you is to give yourself permission to change whatever rules you have whenever it doesn't feel right for you. You're not obligated to do anything for anyone. So you're not obligated to take her off just because everybody doesn't like it. You're also not obligated to keep her on just because you started sharing her in the first place. So we learn that ourselves of just being like, I love sharing them. And then at a certain point, it was like, whoa, you don't get to fucking talk about our kids.
Starting point is 00:50:27 So they're gone. And you can say whatever you want about me, you can find. Follow us around and do whatever, but you're not going to talk about our kids. And that's, that's new, though. That's new. She's at the point where she's, like, building Legos, and she's like, can you set up the tripod and the phone? And she goes, hi, guys.
Starting point is 00:50:43 Today we're, and I was like, okay, maybe she is made for that. Her and her friend. They do love it. They love it. And I see the creative side on it. Yeah. On the side of the social, I'm like, honey, we also have a win here. When she goes to deal with the social media of the teenage area, she's not going to be even
Starting point is 00:51:01 bothered by that because it's going to be, she's also not going to run it. It will be run by somebody else separately, but it would be very much treated as, oh, that, I don't know, I don't do social media. This is, I just do this, which is, I don't know, that's where I see that. But I also understand. I've heard a lot of it. And look, they've got me to go through, to be fair. So if they're going to come up my kid, they're going to deal with me. Good luck, buddy. I know you have to run, but I still wanted to do a rapid fire. Yeah, you want to run that. guys so much. I will give my daughter the space to have her feelings and I will continue on this journey of letting her, you know, validate her. What do we, what do we call it? The independent
Starting point is 00:51:41 growth strategy. What do we, what? The growth mindset. You could rebrand it. Why not, Brock? Go for it. Brock's growth strategy for kids. School of Brock. School of Brock. It's a solid one. I really enjoyed. I thrive with kids. I just can get on their level real quick. I get their attention. and I'm like, yo, this is what we're going to do. The opposite. I'm like, I don't know how to play make-believe. Can we, like, color, do, like, build a Lego, something I can, like, do. It's like, okay, so then we're going to act out this scene and we're going to do it. And then I always do it wrong.
Starting point is 00:52:14 I never know the rules. And I'm just like, I'm not doing this. Her and our friends are directors. Like, you've got to do this and this. And then we should do this. No, you did it wrong. We redo that we redo scene after scene from all their favorite movies. I love it.
Starting point is 00:52:26 She loves it. She really has fun putting it on a performance, too, by the way. But thank you so much for coming in today. Appreciate you. Get your baby. All right. All right. So Brock had to leave to go pick up summer.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Speaking of from school, but I wanted to do a quick fire round before we wrap up. What is the biggest toddler myth? That when they are tantruming, they are manipulative or spoiled or a brat. It's just their brain development. Most underrated big little feeling strategy. Oh. The pause. pausing before you react.
Starting point is 00:53:00 Okay. One thing every parent should start doing today. Taking care of themselves, including me. Oh, I like that. I like that. One thing every parent should stop doing today. Spanking. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:13 And I was also going to say negotiating and begging. When they're not listening to firmly, confidently, hold the boundary. Oh, my God. See, okay, I need to stop doing that. It's like negotiating, you know, with this little adorable. Adorable. Mm-hmm. Yep. What is your favorite big little feeling meltdown script? It's okay to cry, let it out. I'm right here with you. It's okay to feel mad. I'm not going to let you hurt anyone. I'm going to help you now.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Okay. I do also with her when she's having those big feelings. I tell her, I go, you know, when mommy was little, she used to do this and she would feel the same way. And I try to like get on her level and relate. She still shuts down. And I'm like, I'm just saying, I understand. If you want, you know, me, I'm right here. The other day, she's hiding in the laundry room. She's having her little meltdown. And I just sat at the top of the stairs. And then I can hear her like peek out and I look. And then she like goes and like hides behind the door again. I'm like, do me to go downstairs? Do you want me to sit here? I'm here. I'm here. for you and I'm like, okay, grunt, I'm just going to go downstairs. And then she comes down and she's perfectly fine and happy. I'm like so hot and cold. Can I just say you are crushing it? Like you are killing it. I'm so proud of you for that. For just letting her have those feelings and being her safe space and I'm here for you because that becomes her inner voice. And you're giving her space and not everybody like everybody like, no, no, no, I need to validate her feelings. I need to give her hug or the opposite. I need to punish her. Right. And you're actually just intuitively listening to what she needs in that moment. Good for you. Good job.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Yes. Good job. Yeah, you get a gold star. What is one thing that always works on your own kids? All three of my kids are so different. Yeah, I got to think about that for a second. What's your biggest parenting ick? People shaming their kids into listening.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Shaming, yeah. I feel like I see it a lot at hotel pools. Why? Why? Why? Why was me picturing a Ritz-Carlton pool that I was at. And it was a lot of like, what's wrong with you? Why are you looked that way?
Starting point is 00:55:13 Stop, you know, like that kind of. It's because they have the wrong mindset. It's not a vacation. You're on a trip with kids. Mm-hmm. You're going to shift. Yeah. Well, what's coming up next for you guys?
Starting point is 00:55:22 We have some really big things coming in this year. One that we're working on behind the scenes. We can't give everything away, but it involves bigger age groups, so bigger feelings. So kind of more like above six years old. If you're struggling with those preteen years. And we also have, we're writing a book. I hope it comes out. So that's exciting.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Awesome. Yeah. Oh, also we'll be at BravoCon this year. Hell yeah. It might be next year. They might be doing every other year. But I'll be there. We'll keep you posted.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Okay, thanks. Oh, see, there's my alarm. There is. Pick the kid up. He's got it. I love it. Are there any new courses or tools parents should look out for? Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:02 So this whole episode is actually kind of what our newest, biggest baby is, which is the big feelers course. So if you have a kid who is very sensitive, who is either really, really sort of like that rejection, shame, hiding and shutdown response or the opposite. They're really explosive. They're really like big reactions. They're sensitive. We have a program. It is unlike anything else that is out there. So you're going to actually be able to teach your kid not only how to manage their own emotions, but also hold onto that good part of the sensitivity, that fire within and then that creativity, they can still be that spark
Starting point is 00:56:40 and be able to calm themselves down. Notice when they're feeling overwhelmed. Notice their own emotions. It's really a game changer. We are two sensitive adults who are raising sensitive kids. So we just put our whole heart and soul into the Big Feelers program. I love that.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Last question. Where do you feel that parents still need the most support? Honestly, in feeling like you're not, screwing your kids up. I think that's something that a lot of us, you know, after a hard day or a hard moment, we kind of spiral on it at the end of the day and we're all wondering and you're doing better than you think a lot of the time. I agree with that. I love it. Well, Kristen, Dina, thank you so much for being here today and for giving us and every parent listening the tools to breathe, to reset and to just feel a little less alone. It's been amazing. I was so excited to
Starting point is 00:57:34 have this conversation with both of you. And, And if you're not already following Big Little Feelings, make sure to check them out on Instagram at Big Little Feelings. And head to Big Little Feelings.com for their courses, resources, and all of your support that you maybe didn't know you needed. Thank you so much. Thank you. This was fun. Yeah. So fun.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Thanks. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Tune in next time for juicy updates from the world of reality TV, pop culture, and more. Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts. Spotify, or wherever you like to listen. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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