SCP: Find Us Alive - 09: A Very Small Room

Episode Date: June 5, 2020

Love makes an effort. Raddagher has a system. It is indeed a very small room. This episode was written by Anna Maguire and features the voices of Ian "Zynd" Charles (Harley), Jackson McMurray (Lancaster), Tabi Bardall (Agent Love), and Anna Maguire (Raddagher). Original music by Jackson McMurray. Follow us on Twitter @Site107 or visit www.findusalivepodcast.com for updates, info, art, merch and more. Join us on Patreon for exclusive behind-the-scenes content! CONTENT WARNINGS: mental illness, character is drugged. Word of mouth is the best advertising, so be sure to share with your friends if you like the show! This podcast and all content relating to the SCP Foundation are released under a Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0 license. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

So... Shut up! What are you looking so smug for? Well, this is the first time I haven't had to drag you in here, kicking and screaming. Get your head out of your ass. This isn't therapy. And it's not because I like you. You're still a weird, nosy loser. But here we are. I'm just messing with you.

What do you need me to be a weird nosy loser about it? I don't want to. But you will because... The Fresno No. Nightcrawler is mad at me. The what? Oh, you're talking about Officer Radiger. Okay.

And that, Overwatch Command, is how I got kicked out of the rug shop on the sixth floor of the haunted Macy's in downtown... Huh? Harley? Oh, hello. Hi, is everything all right? You don't usually talk to me. And wait a second, isn't it supposed to be love shift right now? Yes.

So Why are you still in there? I kicked her out Oh no You're off shift You can leave I don't want to leave though Why not?

What does this do? Don't touch that Why won't you actually teach me What anything does? You're a temp you don't need to know I'm not a I'm not a fucking temp, okay Stop staring at me, it's creepy

I don't need you in here I was fine by myself Well, tough shit And what do you mean you were fine by yourself You said you sleep like three hours a night Can you die from that? I don't know Like you'll find out if you keep doing it, I guess

Please stop talking Fine Frigid little freak Can you pin down exactly what about her you don't like? Talks too much. much. This seems like a strong reaction to her talking too much. I don't trust her.

That's fair. Not unusual for Foundation folks not to trust each other. Is that why you gave me the rotating camera feed then? I don't trust you either. It's just useful. Then why did you come to me about all this? I don't know. Hmm.

I need help. There it is. Help dealing with Agent Love? Help getting her to leave. It's not like I hated her or something. Sure, she's definitely weird and kind of creepy. And she definitely hates me. But she's fine, you know?

I've partnered with worse before. I'd rather work with somebody who minds their own business than someone like you, who won't leave me alone and keep sticking their nose into everywhere. doesn't belong. No offense. Oh, my feelings. Shut up. And it got off to a really rocky start, sure.

I mean, a really rocky start. Holy shit. The first couple of days you should have seen the way she would stare at me. Stare at you? Will you please stop doing that? What? Looking at me. You've just been staring for like 15 minutes.

What's your problem? Oh, sorry. Geez, why do you wear all that stuff anyways? It's basically pitch dark in here. The lights give me headaches. So does the cleaner smell. Oh, you're so weird. You know that?

Yes. No, no, not like bad, weird. But don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure you hate my guts, but like, have you ever been driving through the woods and there's just random concrete staircase in the middle of the forest. And it's like super creepy and probably haunted or evil or something, but you also really want to know what its whole deal is. You're like that.

Okay. You're also weird. Hey! Not bad, weird. Oh. I see one. I see one. Look, look, look!

Right there. The crack in the wall next to the floor. We need to get someone to get it. I'm on it. Oh, okay. We'll need a drill for some pilot holes. stud finder. Can we get our hands on a jigsaw or... Wait, hang on something. What was that?

Wait, what was that? No, sorry, I caught Agent Love running into dead sprint down the hall carrying it. Wait, little metal toolbox. Where is she? Oh, shit, there's a dash one in BF3. Oh, and there's Agent Love. Oh, damn. That is a... That is a serious stunt. And a very sturdy toolbox. Crisis averted, I guess.

Okay, item one. Who would try to smash the rift? Don't know. Engineering. Engineering sucks. So does botany. Their cards won't let them into the BH 97 door. What's that?

The containment chamber? Yeah. Who can get in there? Containment, Mr. Hodges, medical research security, and Dr. Schau. That's like half of the site. Medical was busy during the blackout. Where was gravite, though? I don't know.

What about the D-Class? Where were they? D-class cells locked down automatically. They were in their rooms the whole time. I don't know what was happening with them. Give me something to write with. We'll crack this together. Okay. Left. Left it is. Second door, on your right. Okay.

Cracking the drywall under the... I see it! Oh, relax! It was a dash one. Don't get your panties in a twist. See, do you see me in the camera? Yes. Nice. It was okay for a while. We started to have a system, sort of.

She still barely left the office and just sort of sat there watching me watch the cameras for like way too long, but I don't know. I thought it was going not horribly. It seemed to be working pretty well, aside from her hovering over me constantly. I know. It can be hard to tell, especially with certain people. I can't read people fine. Shut up. I know how to tell when people don't like me, because most people don't like me. But I felt like I actually had a shot at getting somebody in this shithole sight to not, not like me.

I like you? Yeah, but you like everybody. You don't count. God, I thought it was going all right. She could run for a long time. We'd find an instance she'd run out and get it. worked well. So when did it stop working?

You still there? Yes. All right. You seem like you need a little... I was fine. Oh, now, then? Wait, are you talking about... I was fine doing it by myself.

Okay. My job was fine. I don't need you. Me specifically, or... I don't want to be in this group. I don't want to be a 14B. As far as we know, there isn't a way to change your PRR. No, I...

I don't want to be a 14B with you, you all. I just want to be left alone. I just want everyone to leave me alone. I want love gone. I want to be left alone. Are you okay? No! Link, if you've got a second,

you might want to send somebody to go check on surveillance over. Harley? Yep, right here. You sound a little stressed out. Are you all right? How do I get her to leave? You're joking. No.

It's built in a mine shaft. They kept all the old stuff. It's all right in this closet here. You can actually get me a real pickaxe for one of those things? Probably. Awesome! I'm going to carry it over my shoulder like a crotchety old prospector. I'm going to fuck up those dash twos. We haven't seen a dash two since the blackout.

I'm going to fuck them up anyways. Did you just laugh? No. You definitely did. No, I didn't. Then what would... What was that? Trying not to sneeze.

Bullshit! It's not bullshit. Relax, Ice Queen. Your secret's safe with me. Okay. Can I show you something? Yeah, sure. What is this?

The feed from the storage room. The one where you inclined found that huge dash one? Yeah. What about it? I want you to help me look it over. Cool. Teamwork. You can't see the shape from this angle, but see the boxes?

Yeah, like from the picture. you took. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, slow it down. Who was that? Keep watching. How would they know how to do that? I don't think they do. So the records people... Records and maintenance. Yeah, and other people, whatever. They spent the whole first cycle thing, gradually moving boxes around until they almost made a huge dash one. That you couldn't even see unless you're standing in the right spot. And they didn't even realize they were doing it? In theory. Why haven't you brought this up to anyone else? I don't know who's in on it.

You think people are in on it? There's a possibility. God, you're so weird. What about me? Do you think I'm in on it? No. Why not? Because. Cool.

Do you actually only sleep for three hours? Yes. That has to be, like, super bad for you. I need to watch the cameras. That's why I'm here. weirdo. Oh, come on! I can do it by myself. I'll prove it one of these days. And you could finally go to sleep for once in your weird life. Okay. You'll see. I swear I just did it because I thought it would help. She's making too big a deal out of it and I don't know why. I was just

trying to... Okay, look, I can't really help you. Unless you tell me what actually has. happened. Fine. But you don't get to judge me. This isn't fitting in my grid. This won't work. How many letters do I still have? Okay, what if I take out the H?

Can I take out the H? Do I need an H? Use another dot, maybe? No, no, I should keep that for... Hey, you're not supposed to... Is it my computer, or is it... Love, you up there? I'm having trouble connecting to the cameras.

Charlie, shut up! What? Why? What's going on? Shush! Or you'll wake the gargoyle? Hold on, what? Surveillance is asleep in her chair right now, so shut it, or you'll wake her up?

She is. With you in there? I thought she... Oh, yeah, she's passed out. Is she... I mean, is she okay? Is something wrong with her? No, she...

Nope, she's good. She's still breathing. Huh? Well, guess the deprivation finally caught up with her. Yeah, and I also spiked her water bottle with Tylenol PM while she was in the bathroom. I cannot tell if you're joking right now. It was so hard to get the nurses to give it to me. Oh, you're serious.

Worth like a charm, though. She's out like a light. Uh. What? It's just cold medicine. It's not like it's fucking chloroform. I was just trying to help. I thought that maybe if she got some real sleep for her.

once she'd realize she... And you're sure this doesn't have anything to do with your need to prove that you can do it on your own. That's different. And nothing to do with you being annoyed that she hovered over you so much. No. Okay, love, you still made the wrong call. It was just cold medicine. What if she had an allergy to one of the ingredients? What if she was on a different medication that you can't mix with... I get it, okay? Okay, I know what you were trying to do, but... I was just trying to Help! What do I do? Apologize. For helping?

For breaching her trust. Fine. Hey, so about the other day, I'm sorry for putting stuff in your water bottle. I shouldn't have done that. You, um, you picked out a pretty cool pickax, though. Okay. Okay. Episode nine was written and produced by Anna McGuire. Parley is Ian Charles. The voice of Lancaster is Jackson McMurray. The voice of Agent Love is Tabby Bardol.

The voice of Radiger is Anna Maguire. If you like our show and want to support us, follow us on Twitter at Site 107 or visit Find Usalivepodcast.com. This podcast, along with all content relating to the SCP Foundation, is released under a Creative Commons share-a-like 3.0 license. Thank you for listening.