SCP: Find Us Alive - 20: Dash Two Revisited

Episode Date: July 2, 2021

Site-107 tests some monsters. Harley gets a tattoo. Love fights for the liberty of a certain potato creature. This episode was written by Anna Maguire and features the voices of Logan Laidlaw (Harley), Jackson McMurray (Lancaster), Tabi Bardall (Agent Love), Taschia Ritter (Klein) and Anna Maguire (Raddagher). Original music by Jackson McMurray. CONTENT WARNINGS: human experimentation, animal experimentation, animal death mention. Follow us on Twitter @Site107 or visit findusalivepodcast.com for updates, info, art, and more. Join us on Patreon for exclusive behind-the-scenes content! Word of mouth is the best advertising, so be sure to share with your friends if you like the show! This podcast and all content relating to the SCP Foundation are released under a Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0 license. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Investigation log, SCP 6320-2. As reported by Site 107 Research Department, it is uncertain if we can classify dash-2 instances as animals or as plants. While we have observed dash-2 instances being created from both plant matter and insects, what little investigation we've managed on the corpses reveals them to be biologically akin to mammals, regardless of initial organic material used to create the instance. Dissection has proved immensely difficult, given the subject's rapid rate of decomposition.

So, cold-blooded? Warm-blooded, technically. Warm-blooded, but still cold. Yes. Chili-blooded. Luke-warm-blooded. Even the bug ones? All of them.

Even the bug ones? You are walking so fast. I'm jazzed, Harley. Like, only another academic would understand. We have leads, and we... We have information and it feels like my chest cavity is full of bees. I also have a doctorate too, you know. I have two doctorates.

Is one of them in power walking? Yes. Is the feeling of having a chest full of bees a good thing? In this case, yes. Did you hear their blood makes dash ones every time? Who's the bees? The dash twos. I inferred that based on how much use the incinerator's been getting.

Can't chop them up, can you? Nope. Please slow down. Where was Lancaster last night? What? Where was Lancaster? He missed karaoke. We were going to do September together.

He's working on the memetic. He's been writing a lot about it recently. Must have a really good idea. An idea worth missing karaoke? I guess. Huh. Six before it worked. Where'd you put the ones that didn't?

Did you leave them in your trash can? Potato mold and all? Garbage incinerator. Effective, I imagine. What trick finally did? did it. Carving into one that was still rooted. That makes sense. Research did all those tests this morning using detached organic matter, and none of it made it too. Has to still be alive. And she didn't even finish cutting the mark. They tried that with a mouse. Cuts just keep going by themselves.

Like the lemon tree. Hey, there's something I can't figure out about this whole situation. Love sneaking in to dash two a whole living potato plant. Hmm? How did you sneak past botany? I memorized their schedules. Turn the cameras so they wouldn't see. Interesting. Want to help me with...

Oh. How did you get yours before Harley did? I was first in line. Did it hurt? It looks like it hurts. He's saying you don't trust medical? Well, no, I don't, but you're also dodging the question. No, it didn't hurt. because I'm not a pussy.

Do you know what it says? My blood type and if I'm a registered organ donor. Why? We know your blood type. It's in the system. Whatever. I want to have a tattoo and I want people to know up front that I'm a registered organ donor. Why are you saying that like I'm not a registered organ donor? Please, as if anyone would want your shitty organs.

Almost all my organs are perfectly fine. Almost all your organs? Well, I don't have an appendix. Oh. I don't know you were diabetic. That's... Okay. What are you doing in here anyway?

No, I was just going to see if Radiger had any archived footage. I'm working on a... I'm working on something. Working on what? Well, it's the memetic thing, remember? Everybody but us being all, like, distant and unfocused. Right. So, do you know where she is?

She's upstairs getting us dinner. Can you ask her for me when she gets back? I'm looking for footage from botany, from the... It's the camera that's like right next to the door. She'll know what I'm talking about. Yeah. She practically named them all. She, like, she knows all their numbers and stuff, just off the top of her head.

And she knows, like, she knows where all the vents go. She has blueprints somewhere. It's so weird. Why are you looking at me? You guys do seem to be hanging out a lot. What of it? Well, I think you made a friend. I think you made a friend against all your own self-inflicted odds.

No? We're not friends. Don't be fucking weird, Lancaster. Right, right. No, of course. That's my mistake. I did forget that you're a lone ranger and an agent of chaos and the, Lord of the Night or whatever.

I don't need friends. Okay, don't make it weird. Mac and cheese. Fuck yeah. Breadcrumbs on top. You got, you've got the breadcrumbs? I'd fucking kill a man for you. I didn't say anything.

If you're gonna say something, say something. I didn't say something. I didn't. Get out. Go to nerd shape. Nerd god. Oh, he wanted whatever footage you've got from the camera in botany, the one above the door.

BF4-3. Yeah, that's the one. How's your tattoo? It smarts a little. Mine too. Yeah, it better. It's huge. What is all that anyway? No, it's on anamorphic dash ones.

Nice. You hear Harley's getting his back done tomorrow? No? It's gonna be so funny. Recent tests involving the creation of a dash two instance through the infliction of a dash one instance onto a subject have yielded an unexpected result. while still considerably dangerous when aggravated, such instances are significantly more docile

and difficult to provoke than those created by perinaturally occurring dash one instances. This phenomenon was observed in subject for a potted bamboo plant. After a full dash one instance was carved into it by D3, it immediately began its transformation into a dash two instance, approximately 1.5 meters in length, and resembling a salamander or lizard. The subject crawled out of the pot and remained on the floor watching D3. When threatened with a blow torch,

subject showed signs of aggravation, but only moved to defend itself, never attacking D3. All other instances in this experiment showed aggression towards D-class personnel and attacked almost immediately. Due to this development in testing, future dash two tests will be conducted on instances created from plant matter with an artificially applied dash one instance. But you've seen it though, right? Yeah, I have no idea what to do about it.

Are we really going to have to take it away from her? I mean, it's technically still an anomalous creature. I don't know. Like, have you seen how much better she's been? Yeah, no, yeah, absolutely. It's night and day. I mean, I don't know how long she's had it, but I've only had to break up one fight in the last two cycles. Emotional support animal.

I don't know if we can classify it as an animal. Emotional support potato. Do we know it's a potato? It doesn't look like one. Maybe it kind of does if you are like already thinking about potatoes. I do have to admit it's kind of cute in a backward sort of way. But she shouldn't have it. Or at least it should be.

like, restrained or something. I, we hardly know anything about these things. It could be dangerous or could be causing ripple phenomena. It could, it could be doing a number of things. Would you even be able to do to restrain it? Uh, baby car seat. What does she call it again? Dump truck.

Dump truck. That's right. Why exactly? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, we're going to have to talk to her about it. of these days. Test log.

D4 instructed to release subjects from restraints using provided controls. D4 asks if the situation is safe. Research personnel answer that it is not. D4 releases dash two instance from restraints. Subject immediately becomes aggressive, using one appendage to swat D4 to the back of the containment chamber. D4 recovers, expressing panic, and asking personnel to be let out of the chamber. Request denied.

Subject approaches D4, using front two appendages to grab and hold D4 onto the ground. Subject then vomits a thick substance onto D4 before stalking around the perimeter of the containment chamber. D4 is unable to move from under the substance. While moving about the chamber, subject period, admonically admits a sound akin to a roar or screech. D4 is still unable to move, but following the initial attack, subject appears uninterested. Pacing around the chamber continues until containment personnel terminate the subject.

Subsequent tests find the substance created by the dash two instance to be structurally similar to cement. Test observations suggest the substance dried and hardened completely in less than three minutes. D4 was broken out of the substance by containment personnel and promptly brought to medical for evaluation. You're gonna have to talk to Klein about it. No. She already knows. She said she should...

She saw it during the night game. I should get a pillow for this chair. He's harmless. How do you know? He's not dangerous. Just because it's round doesn't mean it's not... Screwing up the space-time continuum somehow. I don't know.

I'm not privy to the science. He hasn't done anything. How do you know? She's happy. She's never happy. Yeah, I noticed. He makes her happy. I want her to be happy.

You do seem to be awfully fond of each other. I'm not fond of her. Oh, of course, you're not. You call me to talk about her like four times a day, but sure. Just regular co-worker stuff. I'm sorry, I'm not bothering you, am I? I'm not fond of her. But you do understand that if you were, that would be totally okay, right?

They say getting attached to people isn't recommended. Okay, that's bullshit, though. You do know that's bullshit, don't you? You can't just not get attached to people. It's human nature. I don't want to. Don't want to what? Get attached to people.

It does suck sometimes, doesn't it? You want to talk about something else? Yes. Do you want to hear about my back tattoo? Okay. Good, because it hurts very much, and I've been in here with no shirt on all day, and it's only a matter of time before somebody walks in. To date, seven tests have been conducted involving dash-2 interaction with human subjects. So far, despite frequently injuring D-class subjects, no dash-2 instance has been observed to terminate or attempt to terminate a human subject.

Instead, dash-2 instances observed motivation is only to restrain them, using a variety of methods. methods that change based on how the instance is biologically composed. Observed methods of restraint have included the following. Web-like materials, burying victims in heavy or sticky substances, trapping victims using anomalous manipulation of surfaces, and brute force. The purpose for this behavior is not yet been determined. Observation of afflicted D-class personnel continues with no noticeable changes. Hey, have a seat, agent.

Oh, God. You're not in trouble, just sit down. So, I know about dump truck. You can't have him. Okay, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Bite my ass, he's mine. I'm not giving him to you. You'll have to pry him for my dead, cold hands if you want to take him for me.

I've been working so hard, and it's working. That's not what I'm asking. It's not? No, it's not. I... I... have elected to let you keep it. Him.

Him. How do you know it's a boy? I feel it in my heart. Whatever. You can keep him on one condition. What? I need you to observe him. Keep track of stuff it does.

Pay attention to correlations and weird shit and report back to me or Dr. Masterson. Well, sometimes he sticks things to himself like he's a vaccine or something? I mean, right now. I just write it down. Okay. Okay. Okay? Does Alves know?

Or the research and containment people? Strictly speaking, no, they do not. That's why I need your discretion on this. I need to know everything it does, just to make certain it isn't dangerous. Pretty sure he's too round to be dangerous. Love, I'm serious. Me too. All right.

Well, then you're free to go. Thanks, Klein. You're the best. Don't mention it. She's letting us keep him. Really? Yeah! She said I've got a right shit about... Huh.

This better work out. Hey, Lancaster, you available? Over. Earth to Lancaster. Come in, Lancaster. Over? Harley, is Lancaster with you? Over?

No, he's working on some big thing in his office. Over. All right. Could you grab him for me? You're closer. Over. Everything hurts, and I'm not getting out of bed. Over.

What did... Oh my God. Did you get your whole back done today? You're supposed to get them in parts, over? I got the whole thing done today, and I have some regrets. Over? Yeah, I bet you do. Does it look good? Over?

No, still got the bandages on. Over. All right. Gotta go talk to Lancaster. Turned off his walkie or something. Over? Yeah, that's a little weird. Tell him to charge it more.

Over and out. Over and out. Episode 20 was written and produced by Anna McGuire. The voice of Harley is Logan Laidlaw. The voice of Lancaster is Jackson McMurray. The voice of Klein is Tasha Ritter. The voice of Agent Love is Tabby Bardol. The voice of Radiger is Anna Maguire.

If you like our show and want to support us, follow us on Twitter at Site 107 or visit Find Usalivepodcast.com. This podcast, along with all content relating to the SCP Foundation, is released under a Creative Commons share-a-like 3.0 license. Thank you for listening.