SCP: Find Us Alive - 33: Agent Love’s Training Academy

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Agent Love attempts to train Hiway Robbery. Harley visits Medical. This episode was written by Anna Maguire and features the voices of Logan Laidlaw (Harley), Jackson McMurray (Lancaster), Tabi Bardall (Agent Love), Taschia Ritter (Klein), and Anna Maguire (Raddagher). Original music by Jackson McMurray. Follow us on Twitter @Site107 or visit findusalivepodcast.com for updates, info, art, and more. Join us on Patreon for exclusive behind-the-scenes content! Word of mouth is the best advertising, so be sure to share with your friends if you like the show! This podcast and all content relating to the SCP Foundation are released under a Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0 license. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hello everybody, Anna here, writer and director of Find Us Alive. It is patron thanking time. Shout out to Arrow Warrior, Aaron Hoffman, Greenie Beanie, Sam Powell, Anomalous Fox, Angel Mendoza, Toxic Fate 048, and Montage Queen. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate each and every one of you. For shoutouts, merch, and more, you can visit our Patreon at patreon.com slash Find Us Alive and check out our awards. Thank you all for your support and enjoy the episode. instance of SCP 6320-2, colloquially known as dump truck. Dump truck, or instance SCP 6320-2.1, is not considered a risk to staff or site safety at this time.

Begin log! Today's the big day. Upper management is cleared research to conduct basic testing on highway robbery. It's four days until the next reset. And if we can use dash-2s to facilitate transportation, we need to know as soon as soon. as soon as possible. They cleared out one of the containment chambers and started early this morning. Needless to say, love is very excited. The anomaly in question measures approximately 3 meters in length and consists of one continuous vine.

At rest, SCP 632-2.2 resembles a mammal, compared by observers to a badger or a bear. The instance often appears with more than four legs, however. Since 2.2 was created outside of ordinary safety protocol by Agent Nari Love. The following experiments are designed to test 2.2's perceived loyalty and obedience to Agent Love. Test 1 The subject is instructed by Agent Love to carry an object from one designated point to another. Subject complied without protest or complication. Subject transported the object by wrapping lengths of its internal plan.

material around it, effectively carrying the object inside itself. Is she already challenging you? She doesn't get switched over until the reset, does she? She's acting like she's in charge already. Pissing me off. We can kill her to let me have this. Just the last couple days. You don't have to quit, you know.

For everybody's sake, yeah, I do. Whatever you say, boss. I can already tell I'm going to hate some of the stuff she'll Like what? Ugh, mm. Yep, it'll go away on its own. Just give it a second. Okay, I'm good. It's gone. Just a bench. Ribs and everything. Has that been happening often?

Periodically. You gotten that checked out? Last time I saw medical, they told me I was fine. When was the last time you saw medical? Harley. I'm fine. Oh, okay, you're right. I guess I just don't know what they could do.

It's what they're here for, Arley. Besides, you're one of the most injured people this time around. Fine, okay, you're right, I'll go talk to them. You're not still afraid of them, are you? Of course I'm afraid of them. I have a functioning sense of self-preservation. Fair, but go anyway. Get some medicine. for that I have to go back into battle with Elvis I'll talk to you later bye I don't want to I don't want to go up there ah

Hi yes I'm hearing things especially when I tell him to sometimes when other people give him instructions he doesn't want to but he'll do it if I say it's okay I think he might not be very smart though he really Sometimes he takes things the wrong way. Literally? Yeah, literally. Did you find out why he went after Lancaster? I have a theory about it.

Remember what we were talking about right before he ran off? Therapy. Yeah, I wanted to talk to Lancaster again. Highway was trying to get him for me. Oh. But it's okay. I'm going to train him so he doesn't try to... Fetch people.

Can he carry people? Yeah, he can't. It's really weird, though. He lets me ride him like a horse, but it feels kind of like sitting on a broken wicker chair. How have things been up there? Two little ones. Oh, shit.

Did somebody get them already? Yes. Have you been talking to Harley more? Yes. Have you said anything to Lancaster? Yeah, I thought not. My appointment is in a few minutes. I brought a recorder.

It makes me feel better. I don't know why. It's like a security blanket. I talked to Lancaster before coming up. He says he agrees with Klein. Of course he does. I'm not going to fight anybody on it, especially considering how long it's been difficult to breathe deeply.

I know I need to get it done. I know what to say. How to describe my symptoms. But every time one of the nine, Nurses looks at me, I can feel my mouth dry up completely, like their eyes are pulling the life from my body to use in something else. Sometimes I wonder what gravity is doing here at all. Her credentials are staggering, from what I gather. Most of it is classified, and sure she's one of the oldest people in the building. Perhaps I'm our side is one step towards easing her into retirement.

But I can't help but feel that there's something more. Something I'm not being told. Then again, considering some of the rumors I've heard about her prior work experience, maybe I would regret it if I knew. It seems promising. I'm hesitant to say anything more than that. That thing still freaks me out. Might freak me out less if it had, you know, eyes, more of a face.

Why is it got to move like that, you know? But uncanny valley aside, things are going well. I've been personally overseeing testing, and nothing has gone wrong so far, which feels nice. Love is very cooperative, which is a bit of a weird development, but Hey, no complaints over here. If it keeps her out of trouble, then that's as good as I can hope for. And the two, highway robbery, she calls it, is surprisingly tame. It really doesn't do very much when it's not being directly commanded by love.

Kind of docile? That doesn't mean that we aren't taking it seriously as a threat, of course. Dumb truck might be all round and no pointy bits, but this one's... This one's got pointy bits. And it's huge. Dump truck is about as dangerous as an overstuffed pillow. But Highway can pick up a grown man without even exhibiting physical stress. Good thing it's so calm most of the time.

Seems like as long as love is with it, it's going to be able to help people get around easier. If we survive the next reset, it might even be able to facilitate digging people out. There are a couple more tests we want to run, but this could be a big change for us. The following is a list of tests conducted upon SCP 632-2.2. Experiment. Carrying objects. Result. Subjects carried the object so good, he did such a good job and didn't even drop a single one A-plus. Experiment. Carrying people.

Result. He's really good at it, but he's better when they're alive, people. Kind of jostled the test dummy around a little bit. Might not be the best for severely injured people, but we're working on it. Experiment, listening to orders. Result. Subject can sit, stay, and do just about anything as long as it's a very clear instruction. Tangled himself into a little bit of a nut when asked to roll over. Experiment, listening to orders from not Agent Love. Result.

Mixed. He's stubborn and he only likes me. He'll do it eventually, but you really got to get him to like you. By getting me to like you. The next list contains experiments they would not let me do. Experiment, teaching the subject karate. Hypothesized results. Very awesome.

Cool looking. I don't like the new infirmary setup. Naturally, the medical staff are making do with what they have, and that is not much. But what they've done with it is Erie. I'm not sure how else to describe it. When you walk into AD1, the wing that they've converted into their new sanctuary, it's easy to become disoriented. lined up like a field hospital.

Some of them elevated, stood up on other pieces of furniture. To save space, they say. Fabrics strung up between them, bed sheets, blankets for privacy. Many of these makeshift curtains have not seen an opportunity to clean off the blood of the newly injured. Red, brown streaks, drops of fingerprints upon the white veils. Also, Simmons was there And that made everything so much worse

Yeah, I know I got it, he's my boy, I'll be fine by myself Hi buddy, I missed you You do miss me too Did you miss me too? I bet you did You about ready agent? Yeah, yeah, I'm ready Are you ready? Commencing the test Dr. Ford for the sand

Dash 1 instance, 50% complete. Hold on, boy. This one's moving quick. 70% complete. Hey, buddy, it's just... Whoa! Oh, do something! My way, no!

Put him down! Put him down! Testing over! Wait, Klein! He just got confused. Meet me in the booth, love. Four, are you good? I'm okay. Klein, he didn't mean anything.

In the booth, you're not in trouble. Fine. I do not think I trust Dr. Gravett. She's taller than me, first of all. Made out of entirely sharp angles and hard lines. Black eyes that can see to her bones. More body code tattoos than anyone on sight may be even more than me. Striping her arms and spotted between her fingers.

But it's her voice. So smooth and quiet, like how I imagine death itself. She asked me a question after her work was done, one that foundation personnel rarely ask anybody, let alone one another. Perhaps we fear the answer. Nevertheless, she sought an answer of me. Do you believe in an afterlife? It was several seconds before I could drive my mind from the conclusion that she was about to send me to one.

I explained that I'm hardly spiritual, and she explained that, well, she isn't either. It's been on her mind lately. Understandable, we just broke an unofficial foundation social protocol by openly grieving one of our dead. I'm sure mortality has been on the minds of everyone. But with her extensive and highly classic, I wonder how much death she's already seen and possibly administered and how this one is different. She wants to observe me through the reset. To keep a closer eye on my wound, she tells me that her staff have noticed the resets are having an impact on prolonged medical conditions. She declined to elaborate on what that meant, but said my ribs

might be a prime candidate for observation and further investigation, as they're unlikely to pose a threat to my ongoing health. Investigation into what? She would not say, perhaps to see if I'm a good candidate for human sacrifice? Who knows? Are you okay?

No. They won't let me take him out of containment now. Oh. It wasn't even his fault. He just got confused, that's all. Confused like when he went after Lancaster? Yeah, like that. I think he thought Dr. Ford was a dash.

because he was making a dash one on purpose. Makes sense. Right? It's not his fault. He's a baby. He doesn't understand. He's still dangerous, though. Maybe. You can teach him in containment. Yeah, yeah, I can. They need it. They should just let him stay with me. I could keep him in check.

Sorry. After all, they let me keep Dumptruck, don't they? Dump truck is round. Yeah, he's really round. I don't know. Maybe I could train highway to be around. He could change his shape. What? I like you. I like you, too, weirdo.

You seem happy. I guess I'm not... Not happy. I just... I finally feel like I fit in somewhere, you know? I thought you liked being a field agent. Can I tell you something? Yes. I'm not a field agent. It just says I'm one on my paperwork because they didn't know how else to categorize me.

If you're not a field agent, then what are you? I don't know, but I'm not a field agent. Not a real one anyways. Why not? I failed my marksmanship test. Oh. Three times. Oh. I don't know. I'm a bodyguard, I guess.

For sure? They said they couldn't get enough qualified. people for the escort job. They told me my only job was to stand in front of them in case anybody started shooting. Don't tell Klein or anybody, please. I don't want them to know that I'm just here to be a human shield. I won't. It's just nice. Right now. Doing all this with the dash twos and everything, I like feeling like I'm more than cannon fodder. One day I'll be a real field agent. be happy? Huh? Will you like being a field agent? I guess so. It's not like I have a lot of options. Scoot over here a sec. These are not really made for cuddling. Floor instead? Yeah.

Three days. Only three more days. Three days and she's all yours, Gloria. Episode 33 was written and produced by Anna McGuire. The voice of Harley is Logan Laidlaw. The voice of Klein is Tasha Ritter. The voice of Agent Love is Tabby Bardol. The voice of Radiger is Anna McGuire, featuring Joe Walker as Dr. Ford. Original music by Jackson McMurray. If you like our show and want to support us, follow us on Twitter at site 107, or visit Find Usalivepodcast.com. This podcast, along with all content relating to the SCP Foundation, is released under a Creative Commons share-a-like 3.0 license. Thank you for listening.