SCP: Find Us Alive - 51: D-class Revisited

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

Site-107 is busier than ever, now that they're all thinking clearly again. Lancaster does some digging into the D-class. This episode was written by Anna Maguire and features the voices of Logan Laidlaw (Harley), Jackson McMurray (Lancaster), Tasch Ritter (Klein), Tabi Bardall (Love), and Anna Maguire (Raddagher). Original music by Jackson McMurray. Sign up for our newsletter at findusalivepodcast.com for updates, info, art, and more. Join us on Patreon for exclusive behind-the-scenes content! Word of mouth is the best advertising, so be sure to share with your friends if you like the show! This podcast and all content relating to the SCP Foundation are released under a Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0 license. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Greetings and hello, listeners. It's me, Anna, writer and director of Find Us Alive and the world's only podcaster. Can you believe that it's just me? Sure is lonely here at the top. We have some new patrons. Avalon missed Bruno. That New Guy. Ender Tex. Lil Cran Tree. Dane Wagner, Adam Bolton, Maxine Primal, and Jackalope Dev. Thank you all so much for your generosity. I recently switched this show to a different hosting platform, which means we're going to to have to go without the extra boost in sponsorship revenue. So you guys are currently our entire income. Every day I am grateful for you all and I am filled with wonder that I am able to keep doing this at all. So if you like this show and you want to keep a roof over our heads when we make it,

consider becoming a member of our Patreon at patreon.com slash find us alive or you can make a one-time donation at find us alivepodcast.com under the support tab. That's patreon.com slash find us alive. Thank you for listening and enjoy the episode. Hello, Overwatch Command. Come in. This is Site 107's obligatory good morning and please help us broadcast, Site01. It's coffee, just coffee. I'm going to need it today.

I should have got more sleep last night. I am happy to announce that we are now the Foundation's first ever site to consist entirely of one specific psychic resistance index. Under normal circumstances, this sort of homogeneity would be considered a profoundly bad idea due to its increase in our collective vulnerability to threats not included in PRI 14B. But we have few other options. And what's done is done. And what's done will soon be waking up and getting back to work. It is shaping up to be a monumentally busy day.

Word in the halls, which I happen to catch on my way over, is that my colleagues, are feeling noticeably better the morning after being inoculated. People are reporting better focus and clearer. Clearer trains of, uh, because there was something, um, something about that. It used to be harder for people to, uh, um, never mind, overwatch command. I find myself a little unfocused this morning for reasons that are simple enough. Soon in a matter of minutes, the site will be awake and busier than I've seen. seen it in a long time. And that's good. But I am beginning to regret my timing for volunteering to organize the last big party before the reset. Oh, God help me. It's a madhouse out there. Yep. How's research doing? They're up to their eyeballs. Oh, yeah, I bet. Psych. Um, nobody's taking appointments today. They're all trying to get their own thoughts

sorted out. But it, I feel bad for records. They're only just now realizing how out of control. role their filing system has been. Doesn't it reset to their original filing system? I mean, they're tattoos, but also, yes. You know, I thought we'd be more like celebrities after that meeting. Why? I don't know. We were the only ones aware of the memetic effect for months, and now everybody can talk about it,

at least in person? Do you want me to treat you like a celebrity? That's not what I meant. Oh, oh wow, Beatrix Klein, I'm such a huge fan. You're fired. Can I pretty please have an autograph and Can you also give me the password to the D-Class dossiers? I was wondering what you were doing up here.

I'm interviewing them about their experience with the Mometic. Now that we can actually all talk about it, after my staff is done self-analyzing, obviously. Is that all you're doing? Probably not. Whatever, sure. Here. Thank you.

If you see Harley, could you tell him to come by the lab? I have something for him. Harley's busy. What's Harley busy doing? Party planning. He's party planning. day during all this? Yep.

This is Dr. Harley, coming to you live from a cupboard in the brick room. I am hiding from no one but my own foolish mistakes. All I wanted was a party. Morale is at what is perhaps an all-time high. Love is making a miraculous recovery, and we've essentially eliminated the threat of dash three instances entirely. A little fun, I thought. A little revelry at the end of the cycle.

That's all. But everyone is busy, preoccupied with getting everything in order with their work now that we have made it easier somehow. Oh, there was something, and now I can't remember. What's important is that I have massively overestimated my capabilities as a party planner. How did Lancaster do this? How does the Fight Club do it? I can't ask Lank because he and the rest of psychology are very busy with new developments after the inoculation, and I can't ask the Fight Club because it's entirely decentralized and God only knows who's actually in charge, if anyone at all.

There's so much to keep track of. I should have brought a notebook. How am I going to get extra snacks when we're stretched so thin for decent snacks on a regular day? And what about drinks? I've talked to records, but they're only going to give up their homebrew booze on the condition that research empties their turn. trash at the start of the next cycle. And obviously, I cannot promise that. And music? The one time I brought it up, it almost started a fight because security wanted ska, but a couple nurses insisted I'm playing some remixes of Gregorian chants that Kumar has been making on his phone. And I don't know, maybe we could play both. Occupato. Jonathan Greeley was born in Ridgewood, New Jersey. He played sports in high school, but wasn't especially good at them. Got his associates from a local community college.

Greeley worked as a record specialist for the Ridgewood Police Department until he was arrested for strangling his wife and four-year-old daughter and hiding their bodies in a crawl space for 12 days before they were found. Greeley languished in prison for three years before the foundation offered him a different deal. Two years of service in the foundation and then a new identity, a fresh start. Greeley accepted, and the foundation also, altered his documentation to show that he was executed that same year. Greeley has been serving with the foundation for eight months.

The state of New Jersey repealed capital punishment in 2007. Jonathan Greeley was born in 1955. According to public record, he was executed in 1994. Pretty long, eight months. It's so crowded. I know. I hate this. One second.

I can fix this. Nari, it worked. You could hurt yourself. I'll be fine. Would it hurt more if we'd taken my walker up. Yeah. Hey, get your asses in here. Sucks out there.

I know. Fix it, Klein. We did fix it, love. That's the problem. What happened anyway? We burned a dash one off of everyone so they can't become a dash three. And now that we can all talk to each other about the memetic effect that was making everyone spacey without forgetting mid-sentence.

Everyone has a lot to discuss. Oh. We brought dump truck. I don't really need him for this, but I appreciate the extra effort. Love, how's therapy? I'm doing it with the nurses now. Is it going well? No.

Sucks, and I hate it. She's doing really good. Thank you, Radiger. So, topic of the day. More dash-2 testing. Which ones are dash-toes? The animals. Like dump truck.

And dash ones are the markings. And dash threes are people. I've been talking with research. Now that Alves isn't in charge and our activities aren't as restricted as they used to be, I would like to poke around in how highway and dump truck might help us, instead of just leaving them locked up indefinitely. Help us. How?

I'm not sure yet. That's what I hope to find out. Dump truck can teleport now. Maybe we can do something with that. Nothing that hurts them. Not gonna try to. That's part of my problem, though. I think love being there is our best bet to not get highway hurt. He has a tendency to be...

Difficult. She can't help with the research. Her concentration is still... I can try. Yeah, I'm not looking to overtax you, love. That's why I want to negotiate how much you can be involved. I'll be a great boy wrangler. Just not... not too much. Not too much.

What do you want to test anyway? Dump truck can detect dash one. right? Yeah. I want to test if Highway can do the same. He's faster and might be able to actually break them. That's redundant. Why?

Because everybody knows about the memetic effect now. It's easier to notice them. Notice which ones? Dash 1. Jesus, why couldn't we just give things normal names? Because we're the fucking foundation and we suck. But dash 1 prevention aside, we need to do something about highway. What's wrong with him?

He's a pressure cooker. He's big and smart and he's very close to having something that passes for opposable thumbs. We need to do something to make sure we can deal with him when he blows up or prevent him from blowing up. Enrichment. What? He needs enrichment. All animals need enrichment. Well, maybe you can give us some ideas.

Elizabeth Wilson, known to us as D2, born in Seymour, Indiana. Family kept horses but lost their ranch because her father had a problem. with gambling, worked some odd jobs for a few decades, eventually became a serial hit-and-run killer with six pedestrian collisions, five of which were fatal. Sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole, serving 15 years before being approached by the foundation. Two years of service within the foundation, and upon completion, parole supervision for life. Just two years of being a guinea pig for a private research company. Something that had to do with renewable energy or something. a shell company within a shell company within a shell company, untraceable layers of bureaucracy.

But better than prison. Much better. Unfortunately, Wilson would pass away only two months before her release of the same sudden onset illness that killed her father years earlier. She was declared dead in 1989. And now she's downstairs playing solitaire in a cell. How are they pulling this off? What software is this?

I don't know. Gillespie said they're all doing stuff off the clock because their recycler is stressing them out. It looks really good. I wanted to ask you if you thought it looked accurate. Oh, can you move it around so I can see it from the side? Yeah, there's my office. Looks accurate enough. Why? Next cycle, they want to make a 3D render of the whole building.

This is just a seafloor. We have blueprints. Why do they need a whole 3D render? Gillespie said they made something that can detect dash ones. They're trying to test it out on computer first. We already have something. that can detect Ashwans. Dump truck can't cover the whole site. Highway might.

This is cool though. Looks like it took a while. Gonna suck to rebuild it every cycle though. Yeah. Maybe we can work together. Engineering's computer stuff with dump truck and highways, whatever we figure out with them. Hmm. Agent Nari Love.

You're the proud mother of 2-2 instances, correct. You're covered in dust. Oh, never mind my dust. Where is your son now? In jail? What do you... The other son. What?

Where's the other son? Radiger has him. What's wrong with you today? I've spoken with records. It's dusty in there. Were you rolling around on the floor? Uh, as it so happens. Yes.

Why? I dropped something and it rolled. I had to crawl into a tunnel to get it. Did that one guy we hate make the tunnels? Simmons. Simmons? No, I think they were always there. In the walls?

In the piles. The piles of boxes. That's where the tunnels were. Never mind all that. Do you think Dumb Truck could do tricks like a circus animal? How much are you offering? Goodwill and the kindness of my heart. He'll do one trick.

Is he free the night before the reset? Nope. He has a client. Damn. Lauren Harris was born in Redding, California. She almost received a degree from Chico State University, but dropped out and ended up an apprentice at a mechanic's shop. Seems like she was quite intelligent, but got into a lot of debt trouble after an accident mutilated one of her hands.

Medical debt, credit card debt, unpaid loans. Substances. Homeless for a few years, couple cases of larceny and robbery, handful of violent incidents, participated in a small paid study and was later offered an invitation to more studies in exchange for room and board for two years, and a cash payment once the testing period was over. No next of kin, so authorities stopped looking for her after she was declared missing in 2017. You drunk? I am buzzed.

It's 2 p.m. 6 a.m. for me. I've been awake since the dawn of time. What can I do for you, Harley? Party. Heard of them? Botany has alcohol. Sampled it? It's bad.

I know. Please 10 bar for my party. All right. Really? Yeah, what time? You don't have any conditions, stipulations. No, Harley. It's just a party.

It isn't that big a deal. It is a very big deal. It is the end of the cycle. A big occasion? Everything has to be perfect. And who is doing all of this? Everything? Everybody wants completely different things.

You don't have to do any of this, you know? Psych would be over the moon if you asked for their help on it. Psych is busy. Everyone is busy. You've got a couple days. They won't be as busy tomorrow. I guess. But then what will I have to do? They'll take over the whole plan. We're not going to suffocate. Medical said that if there's a fire... There's not going to be a fire.

But there might. There's not going to be a fucking fire, Harley. I'm not saying a fire specifically. I just mean something. There's always something. It's the end of the cycle. Something always goes... I think I have something we can do. do, oh, hi, Harley, how's... Hello! I need you to take over planning the party. I can't. I'm planning a different party.

Oh, great. Then no one will come to mine, and nobody will have to... Wait, wait, wait. What party are you planning? I... Well, I wanted to pitch it to Haldi, but I was hoping to run it by you first. Can Harley here? Yeah, I mean, it's just... I... I want to throw a movie night for the D-class. Popcorn and everything, like we do. Man, I'm going to be honest. I don't know if Haldi's going to go for that.

I think she is. I think she gets it. I'll invite security. You're going to have to invite security if you want the D-Class out. Klein, they're not dangerous. Most of them are murderers. Most of them are clones. Really? Klein. Personnel aren't the only people the foundation has been running out of. So now that you know that, you know why I have to do this, right? Yeah, I do.

Go talk to Haldi. I'll put in a good word if she says no. Thanks. Uh, Harley. Hey, good luck with the party. Oh, yeah, thank you. I can't open any of the information about whatever the real project is, but people talk. They can't keep the lid on the clones thing much longer, especially because most of the D-Class dossiers just don't add up. You don't need to be clearance level five to gather details from shoddy organization.

Sure, we're pretty great at keeping civilians from finding all this stuff out, but we're not all that excellent at hiding things within the foundation itself. I've heard their cloning staff, too, or that they're at least trying to. I guess they must still be working on it on account of the clones not lasting very long. They average two years before their organs start falling apart. I guess they just don't want to subject staff to that too much. But the D-class, most of them die before then anyway. I don't know how to fix this. Everyone says we need human test subjects.

Some anomalies affect different animals differently. The foundation is built on human testing. But we don't have to be. Not right now, anyway. Maybe someday we'll have a dire need to experiment on humans, but right now, they're basically just people in our sight. People with a bigger ticking clock than maybe any of us, and I'm going to throw them a party.

They deserve that much, at least. that much, at least. They deserve better. We all deserve better. Episode 51 was written and produced by Anna Maguire. The voice of Harley is Logan Laidlaw. The voice of Klein is Tosh Ritter. The voice of Lancaster is Jackson McMurray. The voice of Agent Love is Tabby Bardol. The voice of Radiger is Anna McGuire. Original music by Jackson McMurray. If you like our show and want to support us, sign up for our newsletter at find us alivepodcast.com. This podcast, along with all content relating to the SCB. Foundation is released under a Creative Commons share-a-like 3.0 license.

Thank you for listening.