SCP: Find Us Alive - 52: Defensive Protocol

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Love tries to get Hiway to cooperate. Also, Harley's dead. This episode was written by Anna Maguire and features the voices of Logan Laidlaw (Harley), Jackson McMurray (Lancaster), Tasch Ritter (Klein), Tabi Bardall (Love), and Anna Maguire (Raddagher). Original music by Jackson McMurray. Sign up for our newsletter at findusalivepodcast.com for updates, info, art, and more. Join us on Patreon for exclusive behind-the-scenes content! Word of mouth is the best advertising, so be sure to share with your friends if you like the show! This podcast and all content relating to the SCP Foundation are released under a Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0 license. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Greetings, listeners, it's me, Anna, creator of Find Us Alive, and Raker of Leaves. Many leaves to rake this spring, and by God, I'm raking them. We have some new patrons. A very special thanks to Zagroy, Evalarian, Presley, Longue, Rory Petrachari, Cameron Stanley, and Raised by Heathens. Thank you so much for your support, all of you, thank you for your generosity, and thank you to all of our patrons for supporting us. We are currently 100% patron sponsored. So if you like this show and want to help us pay rent while we make it, consider becoming a member of our Patreon at patreon.com slash Find Us Alive,

or you can make a one-time donation at Find Usalivepodcast.com under the support tab. That's patreon.com slash Find Us Alive. Thank you for listening and enjoy the episode. Can I help you? Harley's dead. Embracing fashion choices again, I see. These are for mourning. They're my grieving shorts.

Don't you get cold in here? I just can't believe he's gone, so young. I should spice up my lab coat. Paint on it or something. Ooh, paint on the inside. That could be cool. It's really just so tragic. Your clothes? No, Harley's untimely death.

Ah, I don't know, I'm good. Who needs that guy? Klein. Yes? Harley has died. Did you do something with your hair, too? God damn it. I'm not asking about it, Lancaster. I'm trying to do something here,

You're not cooperating. To his eye. I killed him. Okay, well, it's so sad that now both of you are dead to me. To you? Is he dead to everyone else, too? He should be. Cheating bastard?

I don't know, man. You should have expected him to cheat on you. You've seen the way he ogles all those buttons in his office. It's not about his office. Okay? It's about the mural. Ah, yes. The mural.

The best mural spot on the wall outside the AB doors, where the party is going to be that he said he would give to me if he won the raffle, but then he did win the raffle, and then he changed his mind. Sounds like he won fair and square. Chapel, you'll never believe who just died. We can take another rest if you want. Nah, I'm good.

We just took one. It's not that much farther. For what? Lots of stuff. Walking down here. Oh. Thanks. Hi guys, Clay's dead.

She died. She has died. Whatever, nerd. Wow. You walked the whole way down? It took us a long time. But we made it. You sure did.

Have a seat. Need some water? Nah, I've got... Where's the other one? The other what? Researcher. Oh, Masterson? Yeah, he couldn't come.

Said he was busy with some other project. Probably still catching up on post-inoculation stuff. You know. Great. So... Highway. Highway. Last time we tried to work with him, he was a little...

Explosive. Last time we tried to work with him, Alvarez, was in charge. I think when I worked with him a while ago, he wasn't cooperating. Yeah. Research has a theory on that. Hmm? We think he could detect your aneurism before it ruptured. He seems to react to your safety pretty strongly.

Like an alert dog? Something like that. Can I go in there today? We'll see. Security built a sort of antechamber to his cell with some pallets and folding tables. It's not going to keep him out or anything, but it'll let us see how close you can get and how he reacts. But in the meantime... Want to say hi?

Am I still dead? You said I could have it. No, I didn't. I said I might let you have it. I never promised you anything. You're not even good at painting. Yeah, that's why I want the spot. It's going to be very funny. funny. And you aren't any good at painting either. Okay. I'm great at painting. God, it's so stuffy in here.

You've been saying that for days. And it's been true for days. I don't think so. I'm fine and you're crazy. You're being mean to me on purpose. Yes. What was that? Oh, wait a second. That's engineering. They're experimenting with an algorithm they wrote to detect dash one's forming in front of the cameras. That was a test. Oh, that's neat. I, I mean, I guess I wouldn't have guessed

they'd have time to do that with all the time they're spending on the recycler. Radiker tells me they were doing all kinds of stuff in their off hours. Evidently trying to fix the recycler was making them anxious. Does it work? We're gonna find out. He might be a little rowdy. I know. He was when I was talking on the intercom earlier too. And we're going to have to pull you out if he starts hitting the barriers.

He won't. You ready? I'm ready. Hey buddy, calm down. There you go, see? I'm right here, right here. Your brother is here. He's very happy to see you. Which one is she talking about?

Okay, highway. I need you to go back. Go back there, go back to the corner. Go that way. Stay... Is he good? Can I go in? Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

I'm going with you. Just in case. Yeah, we're all going in. Move back for a second, love. We have to take these barriers down. How's the party coming along? Oh, come on. I'm sure it's not that bad.

What do you need help with? I thought you were doing your own thing with the D-Class. Well, yeah, but that wasn't very hard to organize. I just had to request the big projector and make sure maintenance set aside. I had some popcorn. What movie are you watching? All dogs go to heaven, too.

Why do we have a hard copy of that? I don't know. It was in one of those old portable DVD players somebody found in storage. I think somebody must have brought it in for their kid or something. So I take it getting a couple people from security wasn't too difficult. You are correct. They love cartoons. Well, if you could help me negotiate with some of the departments about activities, I would be tremendously grateful. Oh, you would be grateful?

I most certainly would. Ballpark, how grateful exactly? Not grateful enough to give you my mural spot. Oh, that really, really sucks for you. Because then I guess you're on your own then, huh? Oh, Lancaster. Well, my expertise comes with a price. Oh, shit. That's the...

Yep, let me see what's... Did they find a dash one? Did somebody get it? Sorry, hang on. Good afternoon, Site 107. The sound you've just heard is engineering's new dash one alert system. They're still working out the kinks, so please disregard any alerts you hear. until further notice. Once the system is fully operational, I will let you all know. Thank you. Also psychology is the best department. Touch my stuff. What's wrong with you?

Well, the people need to know. You can just ask next time. Harley, can I use the... No. Just a good lunches. There. Enough space for your walker if you need it. I think so. Good boy stay. Everybody. Be gentle. Good boy. There's my good boy. Look, we brought dump truck. Hey, don't whack your brother, be nice.

You wanna do some tricks today. You wanna do some tricks. Good boy, sit. Stay. Can I have, um, can I sit down? Yeah, let me grab a fooling chair. Be right back. You okay?

Yeah, I'm just tired. I can run the tests. He listens to me. kind of. I'm fine. Aren't I, boy? Stay. Come over here, boy.

Good, good boy. Let's get this rolling. Oops, dropped my loose coffee grounds on the floor. You might get mad if you. Go get it. Oh, not me. Get the particles. Go get the dash one.

Ten points to dump truck. Go get it, Highway. No, go get the dash one. Is he sticking to you again? Does that mean he might... It's not sticking. I think he's just excited to see her again. Radiger, try another one? I'll sweep up the first. This time, buddy. We'll get it this time. Go, go get it.

Dump truck certainly isn't having a problem. Highway only wants to snuggle. I don't know how he plans on doing that with how he's shaped. So how do I get them to get along with each other for the whole party? Oh, um, you don't. You're not gonna be able to get them to get along. Then what? I just let them ruin the mood for everyone else? Well, Harley, does it ruin the mood for you when they fight? Kind of, a little bit.

Well, then you're an outlier. Most of the other departments just think it's funny, because neither of them can do any damage to each other. Sorry, they don't really do anything to each other. They just argue. And sometimes they'll do like a prank, but that's all. It won't be weird for anyone else. What about botany? You're the only person who hates botany. I can't be the only...

...aerial one? Well, they would message me if it was. Okay, then what were you saying? I don't remember. Something about botany. There's always something about botany. I... never mind. What are you doing for the central activity?

Uh, karaoke probably. Is that all? We do karaoke all the time. It's... Karaoke is already its own thing. What else could you do? A movie would be too quiet. Well, we don't have time for a large-scale game, but maybe... God damn it!

They have to get that thing fixed. They said they're working on it. Can they work on it? Um, I don't know, not connected to the whole site. I don't know, I would love that. I think that would be an excellent idea. It's like having a dead smoke alarm battery. Except worse, because there's no consistency.

MOTHER BOR! This way, boy. Maybe getting out of this box will help. You've got a flare, right? We won't need it. But yes. Just in case. Just in case.

Klein, can you get my walker? Yeah, I'll grab it when we pass the lab. Oh, I bet you'd be gorgeous. Great at pushing my chair. Wouldn't you, buddy? We can walk him around this floor, and then we'll bring him back in. Sound good? Sounds good. Good walkies. We'll try more testing tomorrow. Easy, boy, easy.

Klein, what was that? Shit, I forgot engineering was doing that today. It's an alert system to detect dash ones. They're using the cameras for it. Is that what Harley was saying while we were in the cell? I couldn't hear. Yeah. I think they're still perfecting it.

Should we go... One sec. Harley, is the alert system actually working? How many dash ones have you made down there? Like four? Oh, it's been going off way more than that. Lots of false alarms. Very loud and very frequent false alarms.

Oh, maybe today isn't the day for... Damn! That is not great. Maybe it is. though. Maybe we could train Highway to listen, and he could sniff out dash ones when he hears it. I think you'll have better luck teaching that to dump truck, honestly. Okay, what was that? Whoa, buddy. Uh-oh. Wait, highway! He's stay here. I'll go get him. But what if he doesn't listen to you? I'll go. You both go. Me and dump truck will catch up. Ingrid. I don't want to leave you alone.

I'm not alone. I've got the boy. I'll be okay. Okay, go. He's not going to listen to Klein. I'll call on your walking. Come on, boy. We got to catch up. Another incident involving an instance of SCP 6320-2. Security camera footage shows communications director Dr. Harley and co-head of psychology, Dr. Lancaster, leaving the communications office in response to an unusual noise outside. What the hell was that?

I have no idea. Shouldn't we stay in here? I want to see what it is! Oh damn it, Lancaster! Dr. Klein and surveillance officer Radiger reached the instance before security or containment. The instance in question is visually avian, bipedal, around four feet tall. Its body is covered in structures similar to feathers, albeit visibly harder and more rigid, possibly closer to scales. Its shape oscillates, seemingly imitating the movement of the movement of the other.

of a bird's feathers. The instance appears aggravated, showing hostility to approaching personnel but not attacking. Dr. Klein and others in the area prepare to terminate the instance. When a known and catalogued instance highway robbery crawls out of a vent and confronts the other entity, at Radigar's direction, and to avoid triggering aggression

from the friendly instance, staff put out their flares and back down. For several minutes, both dash two instances display of aggression toward one another, but neither makes a move to attack. Despite significant differences in size, the much smaller Avian-Dash 2 shows no signs of deference to highway robbery. It did not show any signs of calming itself until the arrival of Dr. Masterson. Upon Masterson's arrival, the Avian-Dash 2 grows significantly more threatening toward the other instance. Masterson makes attempts to communicate with it, but is largely unsuccessful.

successful. Dr. Klein and Officer Radiger deliberate on how to prevent a brawl between the two, when Agent Love exits an elevator at the end of the hall. Highway Robbery, you come over here right now! Highway robbery reacts to Agent Love's presence immediately, slowly moving itself between her and the avian instance. Agent Love attempts to calm Highway robbery, and is moderately successful, which distracts. the instance enough for Dr. Masterson to approach the avian, reach into his pocket, and withdraw a blue common parakeet. The avian instance reacts to the non-anomalous parakeet with friendliness, and Masterson gets close enough to allow the bird to jump from his hand onto the head of the

avian. With both instances successfully pacified, security and containment personnel I'll begin the process of moving both instances to separate containment chambers. Pour it out and then watch. Pouring it out. Watch. We're watching. Okay, hold him gentle. There you go. Don't squeeze him.

Good boy now. Go get it. Go get it, boy, boy. Kind of looks like he's driving highway like a mech. You saw how the little bird calmed the big one down? Yes. It got me thinking that maybe Highway and Dump Truck can work together too. Yeah, but the other two are parakeets. They're already very in sync with each other.

So we train the boys to be in sync also. It's already working. They're working together. Are you sure they're not just doing what you tell them, like usual? Maybe right now, but they'll learn. Do you think keeping Dump Truck around will mean Highway can stay mellow enough to free roam? I don't know if Highway will ever be able to free roam, Love. He's too big and too aggressive.

He'll probably always need somebody with him. That's okay. I'll walk in. What about the other one? What's his name? Little one is Kiki. The big one is Lala. Are you letting Lala lose, too? She didn't seem... I don't know. She seemed aggressive, too. I don't know. I'm going to work with Masterson on it. I don't know why he did that.

He says it was an accident, but I have my doubts. You're not going to split them up, are you? No. We've seen what it's like when that happens. But she's probably going to need a lot more attention than highway does. Why? Because she's a parakeet. Maybe someday we can get all of them to get along. Maybe, but first we have to make a patrol schedule for these two.

It'll be nice to have a functioning dash one detection system around here. Engineering is apologized, by the way. Eh, it kind of worked. I don't think we'll need it, though. Tell them to put more work into that 3D model of the site they were all working on instead. I want to see them do Harley's office. Ooh, I want to see them. to do my office. Love? Want to take the boys around a floor? See if they find anything?

Fine. I love them. I am tired as shit. I'm gonna go lay down for a while. You're going down. Gross? You're gross. Come on, Ingrid. I need to talk to Harley. Okay. Meet me upstairs when you're done? Need a hand? Yes, please. I'm coming to. I don't want to deal with Masterson until tomorrow. And, uh, Lancaster, I need to talk to you. Yeah? your party. Well, what about my party? Uh, so, what's up? You're throwing a party. Correct. How do I go to a party? Episode 52 was written and produced by Anna McGuire. The voice of Harley is Logan Laidlaw. The voice of Klein is Tosh Ritter. The voice of Lancaster is Jackson McMurray. The voice of

Agent Love is Tabby Bardol. The voice of Radiger is Anna McGuire. Original music by Jackson McMurray. If you like our show and want to support us, sign up for our newsletter at Find Us a Live. podcast.com. This podcast, along with all content relating to the SCP Foundation, is released under a Creative Commons share-a-like 3.0 license. Thank you for listening.