Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - BONUS: Back To School

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

We’re back boo! This week’s bonus topic comes from listener Steph, who wants to know how to get back to normal after the school holidays, and the ladies have plenty to say on the matter! From Sophiena’s current struggles with Dottie sleeping to Emma figuring out Joseff’s nursery schedule, we’ve got you covered. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello this is the secret mom club i'm safina and i'm emma and welcome to our bonus episode each week we're going to take a different topic and we're going to chat about it and share our thoughts that's right and it can be on anything from children's clothing trends to antenatal classes from baby seats to the teenagers let's jump into it shall we classes from baby seats to the teenagers let's jump into it shall we emma what's our topic today the topic this week is back to school routine this one was suggested by steph who said how do i become a normal person again when they go back to school i feel like this is one for you you don't steph you don't come back to normal there is no normal and i feel like that's okay i feel like once you've had the children and you're in in the bubble of parenthood grandparenthood whatever hood you are a part of

not a gang hood but in you just don't go back to normal there is no way back i try and do like the like the two-week lead up to school does it ever fucking work no it's what like getting them up early yeah getting up early getting to bed early having three structured meals a day no snacking in between because you can't be a pony at school yeah it just doesn't work you basically just have to it's like a grenade you just rip the top off chuck them back into school and just wait for the chaos because it's going to blow up at some point in the week you're going to get to wednesday and there's going to be tears dramas everyone's fucking chaotic no one's sleeping there's food everywhere it's a lot of change isn't it because you go from i guess like normal is school right because that's most of your year but then you just have this long chunk in the middle

yeah where it's just like a free-for-all they're at home for like six weeks eight weeks or whatever and then suddenly you're you're right you just rip the band-aid off and it's like oh and may I add you know when we went through the six weeks holiday when we were children yeah how long did it feel it felt like an eternity yeah so we've now got this six weeks which you will blink and it will be over really you feel like it went quick it went so fast but for the children it's an absolute decade so they are so lost and discombobulated that there physically is no way back and by the time you get them into a group into a good routine guess what they go back to school october no it's the october holidays

they've got another week off we've got seven weeks now it's a structured routine we gotta go go go go go because fucking october comes and then then we're chucked into another holiday then you've just got another seven weeks and it's christmas i know they're never at school again this is more time i'm in school too many holidays so no it's i would say just do your best and your best as long as you're doing your best that's good enough yeah and i feel like i i'm certainly not anyone to sit here and say my children are a great routine last night what happened yesterday oh yesterday dotty we went out we went to lego land nice so then saturday lego land all day everyone was shattered so sunday i was like right i need to food shop we need to clean you need to get school uniforms washed bra bra bra bra dots

wanted to come with me for the food shop so i was like great got home from the food shop she fell to sleep half past four she woke up at seven she was then having a party in her bedroom until about half past eleven this happened this happened a couple of times it just happens all the time yeah and you know as much as everybody says you to do better, get into a good routine, be more firmer with her. I just think, do you know what? She's fucking herself, not me. I had a great sleep.

But then what happens is she goes to bed really late and then I bet she doesn't want to get up in the morning. No, no, she gets... Is she pretty good? Yeah, she's happy to get up in the morning. She gets up, she lives for food. So the moment her eyes open, she's like, can I have breakfast today? Oh, she's like me get up in the morning she gets up she lives for food so the moment her eyes open she's like can i have a breakfast today oh she's like me she loves it but mondays are mondays are difficult for us mondays are a hard one so if we've had a hard weekend to come back on a monday

is difficult because we're now swimming that is it's a drill sergeant we've got school home food swim home snack bath bed oh man it's full on isn't it what do you do like how do you fill your days like if you are someone that's at home and doesn't work like what do you do when the kids have gone back to school because you've been you've had to entertain them for six weeks and they're there all the time yeah if you're home and you're not working yeah what do you do with your days i don't know i feel like there is people that love to clean don't they cleaning cleaning yeah ironing putting stuff yeah to be fair there's always shit there's always shit to do we got shit to do we got shit to do i cooked i cooked a meal this morning do you know what i sometimes do is ignore all that shit and just go out for brunch yeah on my own or shop yeah or go shopping treat yourself

yeah treat yourself the best thing you can do is just look after your keep your mind keep your mind sane so if you're stressed about the whole process as long as the children are in school they've got a hot dinner or a packed lunch they're happy yeah the housework can wait if you're not feeling like yourself just go for a walk yeah have a coffee yeah go shops and to be sure they come home at three that's like it's half a day they still get half the day with them they say it's a whole day at school it's not it's half a day before you know it's school pickup time but don't feel alone we're all in this i'm not but you are together i'm not in it yet i'm just preparing you for it i send my baby to nursery every day with a good riddance

see you at one o'clock i felt bad the other day because you know i said he was in for the whole day and i was i was buzzing about it you made me feel really guilty yes you should have you said that's a too long a day for a baby 7 30 until 6 p.m oh i felt bad when i picked him up because he was the last oh don't listen i picked him up within the time but he was the last child there still picked him up at six she said oh most parents come about quarter two i said well thanks for the heads up so he was there and apparently he was he was saying he was by the door saying mummy daddy and and he asked he asked to go in his buggy because he thinks it's time to go home so i was

fucking heartbroken all right i'll be happy so i was literally crying about my son about my son who left at nursery he was fine you've even got tears in your eyes you're sad only because you have that poor boy i'll tell you what that fucking fear of when you pick them up and they're the last one in the classroom i'm always gonna pick him up well i know that but it of when you pick them up and they're the last one in the classroom. No, I'm always going to pick him up. Well, I know that, but it's just you never want them to be the last child. And every parent feels that way. And their little face when you're approaching the window and they're stood there, the fear of God. Well, I thought you were never coming back.

I know. That was always me, to be fair. My parents were late everywhere. Well, look, I've got the message now. When they say six, they really mean quarter two. I'll be there at quarter two in future. Joseph, I've got your back, mate. Honestly.

He won't remember any of this. He's too young. I don't know. But Colby remembers a lot. I'll have it down by the time he goes to school. Don't worry. So whatever you're doing, it can't be as bad as what I've done. So all that time before you do it, go and pick up your kids.

It's socialising. What did you even do for all of that time? Listen, I managed to... I hope you had a party and friends round and you had a shindig and hours of shopping while poor Joseph just stood in the window waiting for you i managed to fill a day fine it's actually amazing how productive i am when he's not there like i'll get so much done on those days when he has a full day at nursery like i'll get all the cleaning done all the washing done nice i can like eat a meal in peace i'll prep dinner for that night

ahead of time i'll maybe do some exercise, do some food shopping. Look after you. Look after, well, it's a lot of actually other jobs for other people in the household. But that's what I was going to ask you. While the kids are at school, can you go out and socialize? Is that an option? Yeah, I think you can.

Again, I truly do. As much as I'm sat here joking about the whole situation with you and Joseph, like there is people that have to put their children into nursery for long days yeah and I don't want anyone to ever feel guilty about that it's just something that I've always struggled with and I always told myself and I don't know if anybody else is the same but when I decided that I wanted to be a mum I also decided that I didn't want to be i didn't want to work i'd rather have no money and be at home with the children than to spend all of my time working yeah to then take the money that

i've earned to just put it into yeah paying for child care yeah so everybody does everything different and however works for some people that's not an option yeah that isn't an option so i don't want anyone to think that i'm is coming from a bad place yeah i'm only we're joking we're joking with her yeah but yes i truly believe no matter what you do in your time when the children are out it's just looking after your mind and some people really enjoy going out to work yeah don't they some people really enjoy that's the thing i think actually for a lot of people financially it doesn't even make sense but it's keeping them sane yes people love the sanity in the routine and there's people that generally do really love their jobs yeah so um yeah i think whatever you do in your time spare

time yeah whether that's socializing excuse me um whether that's whether that's popping to see your mom your nan yeah shopping on your own shopping with a friend coffee do you know what it's actually the best time to go out and do anything because it's off peak this is what i love about the hours that i work you can do shit during the day when everyone else is at work and it's quiet restaurants are quiet shops are quiet need to go and post something at the post office there'll be no yeah make the most of that get that done have a whole cinema to yourself the people that are retired don't you find that they go out at the weekend?

And I just think, you've had all week. Why are you doing it? You've had all week to go out, Monday to Friday. Yeah. In the hours when all children, but they go out at the weekend

and you just think. Yeah. You've got no business being out on a Saturday. Why are you out on a Saturday? Queuing at the post office. Yeah. When we're all here

just trying to sell our vintage shit to everyone. Yeah, go out during the week. Yeah. It's a good idea. you in at the post office yeah when we're all here just trying to sell our vintage shit to area yeah go out during the week yeah it's a good idea whatever you do in your life you just got to do what makes you happy yeah like fuck anyone else yeah i live in such a mad mantra of my own mind of just like fuck the world i just do what makes me happy. I'm obsessed with this woman on TikTok at the moment. The tube girl. Have you seen her? No. She's just absolutely busting out moves on the tube with her phone with no care to anybody

else in the whole entire world. She's gone viral. She's amazing. What, dancing? Yeah, she's like, dab, dab, dab, dab on the tube. And you see behind and there's all these people just sat on the tube completely oblivious to her. We all need to just channel our inner tube girl and just do what makes your soul happy yolo yolo

we're only here for a short time we're only here for a good time not a long time i'm here for a good time not a long time yeah we have it is but i say go to some parties you could even find a daytime rave yeah the possibilities and also if you've got other friends friends they're in the same situation you're living honestly yeah the dreams i'd actually make the most of it before those kids come especially if you lived in london as well honestly all the like the daytime raves you can find silent discos yeah i'd love to just bust out a silent disco while the kids are at skull you're right yeah yeah just in my front room later like is that how you've been keeping busy because you genuinely are devastated when they go back to school it breaks my heart yeah yeah it does truly break my heart

and i spend a couple of days not really doing anything yeah um but i'd like to take some time so there's some days i like to catch up on a series and i'll just take the time that's another thing as well you can really get some stuff the time I'll put my phone down I do work it's hard because people don't think I actually have a job yeah you're on your phone I'm working my phone yeah um so I do have things and I do have work commitments that I do fill fill up my day you know but there are some times that I'm just like do you know what I'm a little bit snowed under yeah put my phone down pop a little series on yeah and then Chris comes in and I do the panic clean you know that quickly get the hero and he's like what you've been doing slaving away all day oh sometimes my to-do list is never ending but you just gotta

watch selling the OC when a new season comes out you know what I mean yes but yeah there you go that is our advice do you ever wonder if we give good advice or if it's the worst advice in the world i feel like it comes from a very normal place i think it's good when we say it and sometimes when i listen back i think no what advice did i give in the week i gave some advice in the way oh to unpack to unpack colby's lunchbox in this lovely section bento lunch box fucking fuck myself there tonight everything everything wasn't in a wrapper oh this is a mortifying story i don't even can't even believe i'm sharing this i didn't realize it goes up to junior school and they don't get a morning snack they have to take their own snack so like in dotty's school they get provided a snack right

colby's they don't They have to bring it. So I took everything out of the wrapper. So he obviously, he went to get a snack and he was like, oh, mum, I carried all of my hula hoops to the playground. Oh, every individual one. Oh, no. Because they weren't in a bag and he was like, I was really hungry. All the normal kids are just eating a bag of crisps.

Not him. And then obviously I put the fruit in the bento box with nothing in a wrapper. Everything was just soggy as fuck. Poor Colby. And then anything I did want to sell sell which i couldn't because it was too soggy i was just thinking i'm wasting all of this food oh it was just the worst advice i could ever give so if you watch that lunchbox video i can only apologize for that don't follow so again the back to school routine going great we're two weeks deep in this going one so what do you think are there

any things that you do to help you get back into the normal once the children go back to school if so let us know email us hello at secret mom pod.com or we're secret mom pod on tiktok and instagram and if you have any topics suggestions you can pop them in a message to us we'll be back first thing on monday with the main episode and our bite-sized bonus episodes will be out every friday morning to keep you going through the weekend so last week you asked me what i can do in 15 minutes get your mind out of the gutter so i want to know what can you do in 15 minutes emma um right now at this moment in my life it'd probably be watch two episodes

of Hey Dougie oh nice seven minutes long we're obsessed in our house are they actually seven minutes seven minutes long

so 14 minutes two episodes love that for you yeah do you want to know what I did today in 15 minutes go on

I put dinner on nice in the slow cooker nice cut all my veg with Roy chopped them up put it all in in the slow cooker

sauntered for eight hours slow it'll be done byped them up. Put it all in in the slow cooker. It's on for eight hours slow. It'll be done by the time I get home. It's a quick dinner. Just slow. But quick. Slow. On the effort. Yeah.

I know. That's my kind of dinner. I'm packed full of veg. Lovely. Thank you. So we'll see you next time on the... Secret Mum Club.