Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - Introducing... The David Potts Show

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

We've got an extra episode for you this week, courtesy of the David Potts Show! Sophiena joined the Ibiza Weekender legend, David Potts, on the sofa for a chat about Pizza Dick Chrissy, and the pink poo secret! Listen to more episodes of The David Potts Show wherever you get your podcasts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, Safina here. Now I know I don't normally pop up on a Friday but I just really wanted to share my catch up on the David Potts show with you. That's right, I got to sit down with the king of the Celebrity Big Brother house, David Potts. And it turns out he loves the Secret Mob Club. How mad is that? We got into so many topics from the pink poo dilemma and Chrissie's pizza dick and he even let me have a good old moan about the bloody hay fever. So I hope you love it as much as I do. So here is the David Potts show. Hello, hello, another day and another hell of sleigh honeys? Yes, this is obviously the David Potts show!

Where it's just like daytime telly, but we can do what the fuck we want! Think of this as nothing to declare if it was a confessional and not the airport.

What? That is such a random analogy, isn't it? But we love random. I'm your host, the one and only David Potts. Just a very northern version of Gloria Honeyford. Again, random. However, coming up on today's episode, we have got the one and only Safina on the podcast with me. She'll also stick around for your moans and groans on Good Moaning Britain.

Plus, we have got some more of your stunning celeb spots to end the show. So, are you ready to get into it? I said, are you ready to get into it? Of course you are, honey boos. This is The David Potts Show. Honestly, you lot make me feel like royalty. I've already said that, actually. I'm so regal. I'm here with my scuba body warmer on. Crocs, platform crocs and legs out. Now that screams Buckingham Palace.

It feels like so long since we last spoke, but it's actually only been a week now let me tell you about what i've been doing this week so i actually have intrusive thoughts quite a lot of the time do you know like when you're driving on the motorway and you're like imagine if i just went with the wheel well obviously i'd never do it but it's like intrusive thoughts i didn't think that anyway um i have thought about it a few times but that wasn't my, but it's like intrusive thoughts. I didn't think that anyway. I have thought about it a few times, but that wasn't my intrusive thought. My intrusive thought was I want to redecorate my kitchen. So that morning I thought I'm going to get up.

I'm going to measure my kitchen countertop and I'm going to get myself to fucking B&Q. Hell on earth can I just say B&Q is the worst shop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's hell. There's no staff. I don't know what aisle to aisle is. I don't know what I'm even looking for. I just need assistance. I needed somebody to be there. I needed like a personal shopper, but for being you. And I thought, anyway, I'm entering my mascara, random, like, still got mascara on, but it's fine. And oh my God, mascara, mascara. I'm going into my mascara, my mascara, thank you, um, so yeah, anyway, I painted the tiles, which people was like, what, you can paint tiles, and I'm like,

duh, like, do you not know you can get tile paint from B&Q, like, what do I think I am doing a fucking collaboration with them or something now, but yeah, I got my tile paint, painted my tiles, three coats I did, three. And I had to do the cutting in, you know, the tape, the masking tape, so long, but I managed to do it. Anyway, then it came to me doing the vinyl for the worktop because I thought I'm not paying thousands for a new kitchen worktop. I'll just get the sticky stuff and stick it down. I need help. So if anybody knows somebody who can do vinyl, let me know. It's not as easy as a pull back and stick. That sounds wrong, but honestly, you do just pull the under layer and stick it it's not easy me and my neighbor aka ryan my friend were actually trying to do it last night

and it got to like half 11 and i was like right number one i've missed love island and number two i actually can't breathe in this kitchen like I physically hate my kitchen now so seriously if anybody knows somebody who can do vinyl and I put it on my insta I was like literally I'd been doing it for like an hour like I'd entered my mascara with my mascara doing my DIY for an hour and then I was like posting my insta just can anybody help with DIY does anyone know someone who can do it? I can't do it. It's not for me. And I never want to go to B&Q again. That sounded a bit like a moan, but actually it was just an insight of one morning of my life.

And breathe. Anyway, moving on swiftly from B&Q and the mask era mascara, we have got loads of amazing things coming up on the David Potts show today, like a guest. So let's get her on, shall we? Yeah. And now it is guest time and I have the one, the only, Safina! How are you, my baby cakes?

I'm so good. How are you? Yes, I'm really... The voice is gorgeous. You're being kind. I will say, though, I am sweating so profusely. I don't know why I decided to wear a cardigan, but, you know. I've got my mini fan. I don't know if you can feel it, but there you go.

I'm taking it in. A bit of a blow for you. Who doesn't love a blow? Sorry, moving on. We've only just met. We'll go to your drinks first. Yeah, we'll get We've only just met. We'll go to drinks first. Yeah, we'll get a couple of drinks first. Right, let's get straight into it, Safina.

So for people who might not know you, if they don't, fucking rude, and get to know, but please give us the lowdown on some of your amazing work. I am. Well, first of all, I feel like my amazing work is that I'm a mum. I'm a mum to three children.

I have a seven-year-old, a five-year-old and a three-month-old. I keep forgetting how old he is. I feel like the more children you have, you're like, yeah, I don't know how old that one is. Yeah, they all just roll into one. Getting bigger, that's the most important thing. So yeah, he's three months old. I do, I was going to say I predominantly do social media,

but I feel like my podcast has sort of picked that now a little bit. But I started out on social media. I do TikTok. Yes. I do Instagram. And I've got the Secret Mum podcast. And that also has its own socials as well as YouTube so it's a little bit busy. Yeah I mean I've seen your videos on TikTok, I've seen you when I've been scrolling,

I've seen you out there and I think your videos are great. You're too kind, when you see people out and I always think when I put my videos out there I'm like no one actually watches them and then when people see them see me out and they make reference to a video, I'm like. Yeah. You're like, yes, someone's watched it. This wasn't for nothing. I don't know, it just cringed a little bit. Like, oh, God, someone's actually watching me being a tit on my phone.

But, you know. Oh, no, I love that. I mean, I absolutely, like I said, I personally absolutely love your videos and i think they're absolutely great but obviously also you do do the secret mum's club podcast which is the right i do i do you're so adorable i actually can't do you know what i mean you're just like i do i do i'd be like yeah I fucking love it mate do you know what I mean I'd be like yeah I do it's sick and you're like yeah I do I do I love it it's so cute so please tell us a little bit more about your pod so the podcast is basically a being a mum I feel like it's a really well even being a dad even being a grandparent like when you're a new grandparent any sort of any sort of parenting auntie niece

cousins whatever it may be yeah I feel like the world does not prepare you for this and I feel like it's a really lonely place to be and things happen which we are just too embarrassed to talk about like we have we have some crazy crazy things that happen and it's just normalizing normal shit like no one talks about the fact that either the the countless amounts of poo i've eaten that's under my nail and i think it's food like i've shoveled food in so far in my mouth i'm pottering around the house i'm like oh bit of chocolate no no that's just that's human shit and no one talks about that no one talks about that your daughter goes to school and she doesn't wear any pants.

And you're like, oh, no, no, you know, just normalizing the normal shit. I love that. I feel like my favorite thing is normalizing normal people. Do you know? I just feel like we live in this social media world. And, you know, with with your with your you know what you've gone through it's just normalizing normal shit because so much gets put on the internet that's fake shit like so fake the amount of people that say um oh you're gonna bounce back after having

a baby that's bollocks you don't bounce back after having a baby it's fucking hard work and you've got to fall in love with yourself again. So it's just, it's things like that, you know? Oh God, I love you. I love you. You're too kind. No, I do. I love that. Like I am such like, I just love normal, normal people who like say it how it is and just,

are just real. Like I just love real people. Why would I want anyone sat at home feeling really alone and watching social media and thinking that everyone has a really perfect life when it's bollocks we don't we don't have a perfect life and I would never want even if it's one person one person that I can make feel more normal right in this crazy world you just sit there and go oh do you know what Soph's done it it's totally fucking normal like I've got piles hanging out of my ass and people are like oh no that doesn't happen yeah it fucking does i had them before i gave birth because i just used to get massive like

this normal shit i mean i can't like really relay i mean i know i look like i'm in my third trimester however i've never actually had a baby um And I don't actually plan on having a baby. No, I would say that the equipment's not really there for men to carry. No. However, I can imagine it's very painful. It can be very lonely. And it's fucking hard work. Like, mums, I mean, parents in general, not just mums,

because obviously there's a lot of single dads out there as well. But parents in general, you're fucking up. Like you're iconic people. Do you know what I mean? Like having a kid is a lot. And like, I know what you mean. It's like you see all these girls and they're like, I've got a dumb face.

I literally gave birth three minutes ago and I've just had my lashes done. And I'm like, babes, your vagina is still rippling. Vagina's hanging out. Yeah, literally. Do not tell me that you've just been for a fresh mani-pedi. Like, you are literally, you're inside a ruptured... A hanging out.

Yeah. Truly. And you've got to be stitched back up as well. They've got to get everything back in the right place. With my daughter, I was,

no, actually it wasn't, it was with my first and I had my legs on the stirrup and she stitched me back up. I was just eating my toast. I was like, we've got to get me some toast.

It's my day lift, coldest toast. I was like, bitch, I need some toast. Yeah, I'm starving. Just put the vagina back and just let's get out of here. Yeah, never mind the vagina. Give me the toast.

And one of the things that I've actually loved about your pod is your lovely husband, Chris, has a nickname. Pizza Dick. Right. It's actually Old Pizza Dick. Old Pizza Dick. Please tell me a bit more about that um this you wouldn't believe how we got this um this was actually from our five-year-old daughter just having his evening bath and she just randomly out of the blue is straight as day

just real straight face, just went, do you know what your willy looks like? It looks like a really old shriveled up piece of pizza. And Chris came out of the bathroom and he was so like, she just said, I've got an old looking pizza dick. And I was just like, right. And he was like, I've never had such a complex about my penis before oh bless him oh she's the funniest funniest little human honestly she keeps us on our

toes it's she she is hilarious but that's the normal things and people there's so many people that can be negative you know with with your background and everything that you go through it people can be really really negative and there's so many people that are like oh why would you put that on the internet she's got to live with that for the rest of her life right cool i hope she looks back and fucking laughs at it yeah it's iconic oh my god it's absolutely iconic and who doesn't love pizza yeah maybe not pizza and dick together well i you know, it's an experience too. I think just stuff that fucking crust. Maybe we could just invent,

instead of steak and blowjob day, pizza and dick day. Pizza and dick day. There we go. I'm game. And then it is featured by Chris. Yeah.

Chris deserves to be like the executive chief of that. Yeah. Have him on all the billboards. Everywhere. With a piece of pizza over. Of him in the bath with a Domino's box over his body. Hit us up, Domino's. Perfect.

Little collab here, guys. If we could just get a Domino's plug out there. I actually don't really like Domino's. Perfect. Little collab here, guys. If we could just get a Domino's plug out there. I actually don't really like Domino's. I'm more of a Papa John's and pizza hot. Or Papa John's all the way. Yes. Or Papa John's. The special garlic dip.

The special garlic dip. It's special for a reason because nothing comes close to that dip. Nothing comes out so quick either. That's all I'm saying. It's not cute. Also, you met your lovely podcast host, Emma. Yes. So you actually met on the pod?

Yeah. First time we met was our first ever record. How crazy is that? It was crazy. And they weren't even going to, they were never going to release. So it was basically like a test run. I know what they weren't going to release it. But it basically went like we'd known each other our whole lives. So the episode actually got aired.

That is amazing. She's wonderful though. She is, she, her, our little ones are not too far apart. But we never planned to have a third baby. We never planned to have a third. It was it was a surprise. We basically got engaged and surprise. Oh, let's have another baby. But we actually found out we told each other at the same time that we were pregnant. So it's been a really, really special journey. We've gone through a lot together and she's just wonderful.

She's just had her second baby and it feels really lovely that we're doing it together so i do i do i feel really lucky i feel really lucky to have her she's a really wonderful person that is so cute i mean it sounds great i mean your chemistry is unmatchable clearly like the first time you met you recorded and then it aired i mean absolutely fantastic phenomenal what is theenomenal. What is the funniest thing you've heard on the podcast from another parent? Mine, hands down, is the woman who took a shit in a car park. She left the children in the car. Well, I don't know whether she, I can't remember if she left them in the car or she was picking them up. And she was in the car and she had to go for a poo.

So she went to a derelict car park building site. There was nobody there. And she went and took a poo. She was so happy about that she'd had this poo that she went back to the car. I think she told the children. The children got out. And it wasn't until she got back to the car that she realised not only had she shown her children her poo, but her poo was bright pink. Sorry, what?

I think she had like beetroot or something and it turned her poo pink. So not only has she gone to this, but what I find so funny is it's a building site, so there's going to be someone one day that's going to find... Oh, my God. Who was it who fucking wrote, In my girl Robbie? It's a fucking Barbie poo.

Oh, my God. And it wasn't until the children, like, she got over to show the children her poo, and the children were like, mum, your poo's pink. Oh, my God. We get so many of children. Yeah. And there was one where this guy, the granddad, a couple had gone away and the granddad was at the house looking after their baby because they were having some bit of time away. Right.

And the granddad was just sat on the sofa and the baby the child come over and was hitting him on the head and it wasn't wasn't until a couple of minutes in that he realized he was hitting him with their dildo just put it in the box and put it back on the top of the wardrobe so when they come back she obviously found it on top of the wardrobe so he knew she knew that he knew but no one talked about it oh god that is so awkward and i'm not being funny parents you need to learn to tidy away your toys as well oh honestly there's so you can learn something from the bloody children thank you there's so many funny stories like there's ones where the children have got them out on christmas day around the family table it's just honestly so iconic because again people get embarrassed about these things but it's to normalize that

it happens of course yeah because kids are so innocent in the aspect of like they don't understand they obviously don't know what it is so they just presume it is a toy well it is but like do you know what i mean like honestly it's so so funny i love it there's so many lovely stories that come in that just have me dying how many episodes of the pod have you done now 99 is it oh it's guys 99 because aren't you coming up to your 100th? I'm coming up to my 100th. That is amazing. I've just, this has dawned on me right now with you.

And we just celebrated our one year anniversary as well. Oh, how are you going to be celebrating? Just copious amounts of wine, if I'm honest with you. That's how I pretty much cope with everything on a day-to-day basis. Any karaoke? I wouldn't say I'm the karaoke type. I can't really sing. I'll have a boogie, though.

I've heard that you guys like to sing. We're all in this together. Once we know where we are, we're all stars. And we see that. Wildcats everywhere. Name the film. High School Musical. Oh, gosh.

I knew you weren't going to let me down. The amount of people, like, I don't know what it's from. Grow up. I'm sorry? Fucking grow up. Like, did you not watch that in, like, we actually used to watch it in school. Like, they used to put it on for us in school in music. I was too old.

I'm quite old. I'm quite old. I don't think you're as old as me. What year were you born in? 88. Oh, not far. Not... What were you, 93?

Yeah. You're, like, early 20s, aren't you? Mid, early 20s? Early 30s. No, you're not. Yeah, 93. I was actually born in 93. Shut the fuck up.

That was a random guess. I know, I'm only five years younger. I'm not very good with maths, but I thought you were like 25. Thank you. It's your beautiful face. You're not actually over 25, are you? I'm 31. I am 31 years old.

How do you look so good? How are you staying like this? I'm pregnant. It's the pregnancy glow. You look absolutely stunning. Stop it. I thought you were over 25. Did everybody in here hear that?

Did you all hear that? I look under 25. I'm going to have to start taking my ID out. I think your mum's lied to you. I don't think you're... Maybe I'm 2005. Yeah, I would have... Yeah, yeah yeah i'd agree i'm 21 i'm 19 19 i'm 18 i think you could get away with that though to be honest i am 18 years old

i'm going out on my first night out tonight ever my liver would definitely say otherwise do you remember your first night out yeah and i had like long baggy jeans on which is so not like me a shirt and a side fringe it was really tragic looking back do you know like when everyone used to have like the hair spiked and then like glue the fringe over that was what i had i had that i had that look like this wasn't it like yeah yeah yeah and i was going to courtney's in bolton if you've ever been to Bolton, which you probably haven't. No, I've not been to Bolton.

I was going to Courtney's and I was like, wow, I'm out on the piss with my smirnoff ice. Oh, honestly, those were the days though, truly. Life didn't seem as scary back then as it is now. That's because it actually wasn't. Was it just, was it though? Or was it just was it though or was it just that we weren't really watching like I feel like now because we have social media and social media is so big since when we left school scary yeah they put so much out now but I feel like

we didn't know much back then but like ignorance was bliss wasn wasn't it? Yeah, absolutely. Now I'm scared shitless. I don't want to leave me house most days. No, I literally go from the studio here to my car back home. Yeah. I'm scared of the people. I'm scared. Well, I actually, because I travel to the same studio as you, don't I? I've actually, I'm a tube whore now. I should say a tube girl.

Well, the tube girl, she's phenomenal. Did you see her? Oh, is it the girl who dances on TikTok? Yeah, when she's like, I'm all by myself. Yeah, she's like whipping her hair all over. Yeah, she's like so big now. She doesn't even do her tube TikToks. It's wild.

But yeah, I get on the tube. But that's about as far as I venture out. The tube for me is hell on earth. I can't get on the tube. The last time I went far as I venture out. The tube for me is hell on earth. I can't get on the tube. The last time I went, I honestly nearly fell backwards down the escalators. Did you? Yeah. No one tells you that you shouldn't actually look up when you're going up the escalator

because it makes you really dizzy. You're going to fall back. The tube is hell. Yeah. Scary, isn't it? I'm more of an Uber gal. I'm more of an Uber gal. And everybody just stands so close to you, don't they?

Vile. It's a bit scary. Yeah, vile. Vile. Everyone's too close. Right, Safina, you are actually going to be staying with us, aren't you? Because you're going to be listening to my moans and I want to hear yours. I'm excited.

That sounds nice. Again, this is the first time we've met but we are going to be moaning at each other um but before that is there anything you'd like to plug you've got a you've got a cheeky 60 second timer if you do fancy plugging anything let's plug first on youtube the secret mum pod youtube because get so much. I think because I've got an expression of full face, like my face is very, you know, a bit crazy face, I say. So many people want to watch it. So there is actually 10 minute clips of the podcast that you can listen and watch on YouTube, which is so huge. And not many people know about it. But just just to stay consistent with the podcast.

I love that everyone's listening. I love that people love it. And I'm just so grateful. I'm so very grateful for everyone that takes the time to listen. So yeah, that's enough for me. Perfect. 35 seconds.

You could have done like a stopwatch. Go, go, go. Oh no, we actually had a stopwatch. I could see it just there. And I was ready to go. Oh, no, we actually had a stopwatch. I could see it just there. And I was ready to go, eh, time's up. But you only did 35 seconds. That's enough. Well, I believe everybody definitely wants to look at your gorgeous face.

Interesting. Sweet. Thank you. Now, still to come, we'll have Safina's thoughts on Good Morning Britain. And to end the episode, there's more of your celeb spotting but first it's competition time! Now this is the part

where we're not like daytime telly guys because we do not have an unlimited money tree. I do have my gorgeous plant here from Ikea. It doesn't just spit off dollar bills however what I do have for you is something that I am actually obsessed with and I kind of want to win it myself.

So maybe I'm going to create a fake Instagram and enter the competition because I've got a Toby Carvery gift card. I love a Toby Carvery. Now, you know what you've got to do if you want to win. You need to head over to the socials at The David Potts Show and enter today's question.

Which Toby is a better actor? Toby Maguire, a.k.a. Spider-Man, or Toby Jones, a.k.a. Mr. Bates versus the post office, and Dobby in Harry Potter? So all she needs to do is get involved. Oh my God. Please get involved and you could get the money off a cheeky roast dinner.

Couple of Yorkshire's little pig in blanket. What a treat. Now stay there because I will be back with Sophina after this. As fellow British people, we know we love nothing more than a good moan. So it's not just going to be me moaning today. Safina is also going to be moaning. So I will go first and tell you about my moan. Hit me. I love a moan.

My moan is dating in 2024. You're married. Well, soon to be. Okay, you're engaged, nearly married. Yeah. To Pete's a dick. And I am currently single. Dating in 2024 is utter carnage.

Is it wild? It's insane. Nobody is who they are online. nobody even goes out on nights out anymore you know like when you'd be like oh do you want to get with my mate or like you used to pull people and stuff at nights out no one goes out so there's no meeting people in public you've got to do it online but the people never match up to who they actually are in person. Like I went on a day, it was a while ago now, and we were speaking. I met with this guy on Hinge years ago.

Actually, it was quite a while ago. I met with this guy on Hinge. We were chatting. The chat was the best. It was such good chat. I was like, oh my God, we are god we are gonna get married like he's gonna be my pizza day the ones yeah everyone needs a pizza everybody needs pizza dick and he's gonna be mine anyway then we was like we used to facetime and stuff and it was all amazing like the chat was

perfect and then we arranged to go on a date we'd'd been speaking for at least a month. So it was like solid, solid speaking. It was all amazing. And I was so excited. Yeah, I was so excited to meet him. Yeah. And he literally turned up and picked me up. And he brought me my favorite drink, which was really nice of him. A kind of fizzy drink that I like.

And I was like, oh, he just loves me so much and I'm going to love him. And when I tell you we got to the restaurant and he didn't fucking speak at all the entire day, I was literally sat there talking at him the entire time. So all this like amazing chat, confident guy that was over the phone didn't resonate he just it just didn't resonate at all in person and i went did you question him and i just i didn't i i wish i had looking back you should again you didn't ask him you didn't say like afterwards like what

happened like were you just no i honestly didn't have a second date oh no i didn't say like afterwards, like what happened? Like, were you just nervous? No, I honestly. You didn't want to give him a second date? Oh no, I didn't go on a second date with him. I literally just said, I did, to be fair, over text after it, I did say it just wasn't what I thought it was going to be because you just didn't speak. Like, what am I going out with a robot? In the car? Do you know what? Was out with a robot in the car do you know was there any conbren in the car it was again it was very me talking and i just kind of thought um i do talk

a lot and i do ask a lot of questions so i thought oh maybe i am being a bit overpowering i'm talking too much yeah so like i remember when we got to the restaurant i thought to myself right i'm gonna rein it back a little bit and you know let the conversation flow there was no fucking flow it was a it was a one-way canal that just makes me so sad like i love a chat yeah chrissy he to be fair i mainly don't remember him talking to be honest but i thought he was i think he's so hot so i was like well i'll go on another date with this hot guy he's asked me to go out again he was a bit more chatty on hot. So I was like, well, I'll go on another date with this hot guy. He's asked me to go out again. He was a bit more chatty on the second one,

but I think sometimes I take too much. I'm like, oh, better shut up. Maybe I should get in contact with him then. No, I don't think that's... Should I give him another go? How long has it been? I'm going to say probably three years. Oh, okay.

But there's nothing like a blast from the past, eh? I've had some horrendous dating in the past you want to know fun fact i met chris on a dating website which one yes no plenty of fish back in the day back in the day i don't even know if it's still going plenty of fish that's what people used to call it puffed in there oh yeah and you used to i used to get we used to say there's Poff lifers. The ones that are just always on there. They go on, they come off.

They go on because they're like serial daters. Oh, that's going to be me. You'd be able to notice the ones on there. And then Chris, yeah, messaged me on Poff. Yeah, fun fact. I'm going to be a Hinge lifer. No, because Hinge is designed to be deleted. Do you keep reinstalling it?

No, to be fair, I actually haven't. Haven't you? I haven't. Have you given up? How is the dating life right now? I'm just, I'm thriving being single. Do you know what? I just think that's absolutely fantastic.

And I'm not going to be that arsehole that's always like, you'll meet the one at the right time because that's a load of fucking shit. You don't just meet the one at the right time. It really is bullshit. You're going to find the one am i though you're gonna you're you're just bumping to him in tesco am i i don't fucking talk to anyone in

tesco i put my fucking airpods on yeah i just want to get my old pizza and get out i don't want to be shopping for a man in there yeah like what people used to say to me and it's so cringy but i think you should just love you yeah no it's so true till the person comes along that is worthy of you who's gonna love you more than you can love yourself then settle but otherwise you do you yeah fuck the world i love that yeah i'm so i'm so all about that no one matches you i want somebody to bring me up i need bringing up even higher i don't need anybody that's gonna i'm not supporting anyone no you need lifting up yeah right now let's move on to your mode i want to hear what you've got to mourn about.

I don't know if anybody else, or I don't know if you suffer with it, but what the fuck is hay fever? Oh my God! What in the... Oh my... What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?

I wake up in the morning with fucking bags under my eyes, but my eyes are glued together. I get stressed. I've got a full bag in my eyes. Like, if I've got pin pie, I wake up with the most swollen, fucking crusty eyes, and I look like I've got bloody a rash in there. Oh, my God.

That is on my list of moans. It ruins summer for me. It ruins summer. And I actually put on my Instagram, I was like It ruined summer for me. It ruined summer. And I actually put on my Instagram, I was like, is this in other countries? Because I'm ready to emigrate.

I want to get the fuck out of this country. If it's somewhere in the world that doesn't have it, I'm going. Even if it's Alaska, Iceland, I'll fucking take it. Like, why are we being shitted on? Like,

it's not even fucking sunny, but I can't breathe because my eyes are itching. I feel like my eyes are itching. Then your nose is stuffy. When I'm walking around in the garden, in the house, and I permanently just live in sunglasses because I try and not let the pollen in. I've got so much Vaseline on my eyes so the pollen doesn't get in. It is.

It's hell. It actually is hell. I get really bad hair fever and like I wake up like, like you said, puffy eyes, but then they're actually glued together. Together. And I'm like having to like wet wipe and just try and peel my eyes open. Open.

I will categorically tell you now, hair fever is worse than giving birth. It's worse than giving birth. It's the most torturous thing it is and you know do you know what when people go what what oh like what is it what pollen are you allergic to every single pollen any type of pollen people cut in the grass i'm like you i can't go in my garden now for 24 hours yeah so much pollen yeah oh god i'm telling you what though a pirate on a making a fucking killing this year

an absolute killing who needs wine when i'm just down in a bottle of appearance yeah literally back i'm so glad i agree with you so fucking much Do you know what though I've got to the point now I do on my Instagram I do like stories Where I just waffle all day And I've actually got to the point where I piss my own self off I piss myself off

That I'm in such a bad mood over hay fever And I go on my Instagram and I'm like Here I am with my crusty dusty eyes Yeah I can't breathe It's too much No it is it's hell and I'm like, here I am with my crusty, dusty eyes. Yeah. I can't breathe and I just can't, it's too much. No, it is.

It's hell. It's disgusting. Hell on earth. It's absolutely disgusting. Well, I'm totally with you on that one, to be honest. I think the nation's going to be with us on this one, to be honest. Yeah, it's vile. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for not only joining me.

God bless you. To have a nice gossip, but also for your moans as well. I'm just, we're just so in sync with the hay fever. Just wild. I would say I was in sync with the dating once before, but not now. And I truly, truly take my hat off to anybody dating in 2024 because it's fucking wild out there.

It's bullshit. It's just bullshit. Survival of the fittest. Yeah. Honestly. And I'm lagging behind. But you do knew. I'm lagging behind in that race.

I'm knackered. My hay fever's flaring up. I can't be arse running in the race. I'm done. Get me out of the race. Just set the finish line and fucking wait for them all to come to you. Yeah.

That's what I'd say I'll honestly just get a mobility scooter and just follow everyone I'm not running I'm sick of it I'm not doing it anymore

I've had enough of dating in 2020 for what piss off it's not the one is it boys and pollen piss off

right pizza dick, pollen, any form of penis, just fuck you all. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. It's been amazing. Thank you for having me. God bless you. No, thank you so much.

And guys, if you want to come and untangle your titties with me at any time, then please get in contact. Email me at thedavidpottshow.com or head over to our socials at The David Potts Show. Thank you so much for coming and getting involved. Thank you for being so generous, guys, with your applause. Now it's time to get on to your celeb spots,

where we like to hear the normal places that you've seen celebs out and about. It could be Prince William's gone for a cheeky Greggs, or maybe you've come across Cheryl on Hinge. You never know. It could literally be anything. Now, the first one that's coming is from Jada, and this is who she's spotted. I don't really remember it because I was a lot younger

than what I am now, and it was one of my first times ever going to London. And then my dad just kind of pointed it out, like, look, that's Trevor McDonald. And then, obviously, I don't think... I didn't know who he was by then, but now I do, and I think it's kind of cool. But he didn't get a photo because I was being really slow

and I got stuck behind a bunch of people. I think it must have been Rush Hour. But, yeah, I think that's kind of cool. I've never told anyone before, but it's quite cool. Trevor McDonald? Iconic! That is, like, childhood, like, one before but it's quite cool trevor mcdonald iconic that is like childhood like this is the itv news at 10 o'clock with trevor mcdonald iconic your dad has had a visual tree we've just been talking about visual traits trevorvon, that is, that is, that is, I'm sorry. That is a fantastic one.

I'm actually devoured that you've not got a picture with him. No, that is actually a fantastic one. Right, now we'll move on. The next one, and this one is from Kaj. I had a very awkward experience with Stephen Mulhern. He came into my work when I was 18 and I recognized him but I didn't know his name so I kind of just blurted out I recognize you as I was getting their menus

and stuff and he gave me this really weird look and mouthed the word yes to me and I was like okay this thing just take a seat I don't care. So his assistants and stuff were with him and they were so rude to us. They were like coming up, complaining about the table, complaining about the fact that the drinks were late. And I'm sitting there like, babes, we're here for the minimum wage. Like, just give us two seconds.

We are a restaurant. It's a TGI Fridays on a fucking Friday. Like, give us a minute. The whole time they were very like, like acted very entitled. It was so awkward because everybody knew who he was apart from me and I was serving the table. So yeah, it kind of sucked. Not Miss Thing. Sit down Miss Thing and get your mozzarella dippers. I mean, number one, that's a bit awkward, isn't it? I don't like that.

I don't like it. It's a... from me. I don't enjoy that at all. But moving on. Come on, honey. In TGI Fridays, it's always Friday. They've always got the... I don't know what I haven't told, I don't know what I'm told.

I don't know what I'm told. They always do that. You know, like when someone's birthday in TGI, and they're like, TGI Fridays, listen up! We've got Sophie and it's her birthday! And they're all like... And it's very chaotic. Maybe him and his team were just on edge

that somebody was going to come round and do that. Despite that, no need to be rude. But anyway, moving swiftly on. Last but not least, here's Shannon. Hey. Yeah, so seeing Jonathan Ross at the fun fair in Hampstead Heath with his two kids uh just buying them candy floss and and then about two months later again in hampstead heath we seen simon pegg and he was

wearing one of those like peaky blinder caps and glasses and he was just having a pint with his friend and so me and my mom we pretended that we had to go to the toilet so we could walk past him to see was it really him and it was and so then we stood in the bathroom for like 30 seconds and then we came straight back out again and we were just staring at him as we walked past and he kind of like gave us like a double look and he was kind of smirking because i think he knew what we were doing but yeah he just like blended in with everyone just doing a normal thing but it's like literally Shaun of the Dead was in the Garden Gate pub and I was like oh my god. Oh my god, Jonathan Ross! I absolutely love him. It was like that is like childhood for me and my mum and dad loved Jonathan Ross as well because he used to do the Jonathan Ross show obviously and like that was like proper childhood thing. When you said Simon Pegg, I did think you were going to say Simon Carroll. So I went, I think you said Pegg.

And I was like, wait. He's the actor. He's the, oh my God, yes. He's really funny, isn't he? Oh my God. Not both of them at the fair. Maybe I want to go to that fair and get some candy floss. Oh, the pub that Simon was in.

Susan pub. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I just got really ecstatic about the candy floss and was obviously still thinking about food because I'm starving. So that just kind of, like, dragged me in. Oh, my God. They're two iconic people.

That is a double dip of celeb spot. And you know, we love a double dip here at David Potts. Right. Honestly, I absolutely love you guys messaging in with your stories. So come on, keep them coming.

And if you have seen any celebs out and about, please let us know. You can email me at thedavidpottshow.com or you can head over to the socials at The David Potts Show and just send us a cheeky voice now. I love to hear your voices. And that is the end of Celeb Spotting!

Oh my God. And we've another week down, honeys. I know. Why do these just go so quick? Thank you so much for everyone for being here with me. I really do appreciate it. It's gorgeous. And make sure you're ready for next week's episode,

as I'll have another fabulous guest joining me. We'll be opening the doors and I'll have a new patient on Dr. David and we'll have another fabulous Loose Women. So be there or be square. I'll see you later, honey buns. Bye. Yeah!