Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - Renley's Big Boy Pants!

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

After a wild potty training journey, Renly’s officially out of nappies! The ladies catch up on all the family sickness, Soph’s BAFTA prep, and Emma’s big road trip. Plus, they answer questions about innie or outie belly buttons and how to prepare for bringing a little one into the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And this podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can keep that to yourself. You can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. I was just saying I've got really greasy hair. If you're watching this, we're getting BAFTA ready, honey. Yeah, I was going to say it looks nice like you've had it died. but it's just straight oil. Have decided that I'm going to cut it all off.

I'm going to go for a big, thick, boogie, bouncy bob. Can do me? Yeah. I already want mine shorter than it is now. When I picked Sadie up from nursery yesterday, I picked her up and she went, hair wet in front of the nursery worker and I was like, it's greasy. Oh, that's, that's, what happened to my voice? I'm really straining.

Mum is hair wet. I was like, oh, it's raining. Yes, I'm trying to get BAFTA ready. I'm trying to put some oil in my hair. I don't want to wash it I'm trying to practice doing my makeup hence what I've got a face on today I'm going to say you're looking

otherwise I wouldn't have a face No you're looking good I would look my normal I don't know where I was going with that arousing self But anyhow how the fuck are you It's been a while It's been a wild

It feels weird It's been a hot minute And we should probably address The elephant in the room Yes We sadly as you will know by now Took the decision to Cancel our live show

It was a really really hard one It was a really really hard one It was a tough one, but we just thought it would be too difficult for people to get there. So it turns out there was going to be a train and a tube strike on that day. And we just thought getting people to central London on a Wednesday evening was just going to be too difficult. So it was a tough decision. We were really looking forward to it. And it was a hard decision to cancel.

But we just thought it was the best thing. Well, it wasn't until I did that because we had a strike, didn't we? A couple of weeks ago. And I had to walk from Waterloo over to here. And it was mad. mad. Obviously, you do it because you just do it. And then I just got to the studio and as we were leaving, checked

when the next tube strike was because it was meant to be the following week and then they'd moved it to the 20th of May. I just remember looking at Rosie like pure panic. I felt the tears in my eyes and I was like, what are we going to do? And it was just too much. Yeah. We didn't realise until that point how difficult it was going to be. So

yes, we had to cancel but we are very sorry to ticket holders. All tickets that were purchased will be refunded. Anyone we had one will be refunded. and hopefully we'll be able to see you at something sometime soon. Somewhere. It feels so sad. I know.

We were really pumped for it, weren't we? Nervous, but obviously excited. Yeah, so excited. Yeah. So if you had made plans, we're very sorry. We do. And we hope that we can see you soon. See you soon, yeah.

We're very sad about it. And it's been a shitter of a week for both of us because everyone's so sick. I feel like mine's just three months. weeks of pure shy. Yours has been DMV? DMV, yeah. Chris had it really, really, really bad. Because last time you spoke to me, he was basically in quarantine in your house. Yes. And then it spread. Painted at the front door, didn't I in the midst of that, kept him away. And then I got sick on the Tuesday before coming here last week and just was trying to go through the day. And I thought, because I got the

BAFTAs coming up and I got a little bit of a nervous tummy. I was doing a lot with trying to keep renters away from Chris and doing the school runs and, you know, just doing everything on my Todd, which I'm so not used to doing now. I feel like I've been so, I've had it so easy and trying to do everything on my home now. I'm like, fuck, I don't know if I can do it. But I then got sick Tuesday, early hours of Tuesday morning, Wednesday morning, and that was it downhill from there. And then Chris then was able to get out of bed. So he then took Renly away from me because I'd had eight days straight with renters. He was so unbelievably clingy. So I was like, oh, I need to go to dad now. And he was like, no, Mama. He was like, who? Who? Who? Who was

this man in our house? I haven't seen it for a week. So Chris had to take him out and was out of the house. And then we had a bit of a scare because Colby was a bit up and down. He had a little bit of an upset tummy. And I kept saying to school, like, he's got a little bit of an upset tummy. He's not going to the toilet loads. But I don't know whether it's the heat. It's a little bit of dehydration. Because Colin. he's quite sensitive to if there's a slight change in the weather or anything like that, he can be all out of sorts. He gets a bit, a hot, bit clammy.

And then with him being hot, then he gets a little bit of an upset stomach. So I kind of said to the school to monitor it and stuff, and they were great. And then on the Wednesday, Chris took Renner's out, couldn't get a hold of him. School rung me. Colby collapsed at school. The first time ever that he'd collapsed at school. So I had to go out literally so ill, like stand outside. Can I please have my child?

were all so sick. So then I took him home and both got into bed and that was it for the rest of the week. Colb stayed home because bless his heart, where he fell, he was, he basically had come in from outside and it was a really, really hot day on the Wednesday. Come in from being outside really, really hot, needed his inhaler because he was struggling. We're also in the midst of the new world of the inhaler. So we've had it through the winter months. So it's like our first summer of Colby having his inhaler.

So he come in from outside, obviously his chest. was really tight, took a massive puff on his inhaler and just collapsed. But where he fell with the inhaler in his mouth, he bust all his lips who had a big fat lip. He had blood running down his face. He smashed all his knees up. And I just remember he got in the car and he was like, Mom, I'm sorry you had to do this when you're sick. And I was like, oh, don't worry about it. It's fine. He was like, the teacher was cradowing me like a baby, though. I was like, I think everyone was really scared. I think everyone was really scared. I was like, do I let him go to sleep? Do I have to take him somewhere and get him checked.

I know. It's like, when you think they've got a concussion or something and you're like, they just want to sleep and you're like, oh. Never experienced it in my life. I said, my sister was like, what am I meant to do? And obviously then I got a hold of Chris and Chris came home and was able to watch and keep an eye on Colbs because I just didn't know, I don't know what you meant to do. You meant to go to the hospital and you meant to go and get them checked or I guess if it happened again, then I would have, you know, acted. But we've had nothing since, touch words, touch all the words.

Do you think it was just he was just too like? I think he was just the last. of blood flow to the brain. He took a massive puff on his inhaler because he's so good at taking it and he takes a big old, I want to say a drag but I don't know if it's a big old puff, big old drag on the inhaler

and that was it. He just passed out. But we've obviously had to change things now because the inhaler, where he was taking the inhaler as and when he needed it. So he takes it in the morning and takes it at night before he goes to bed

but then he takes it as and when through the day he feels he needs it. But we've had to kind of change it now with the weather getting. and warmer and stuff like that. So now he takes it before his break and takes it before his lunch. And then if he needs it when he's done, he's just got to sit down for five minutes, have a cup of water and relax himself.

But if anybody, is it anybody experienced this or has it? He's not on the combined inhaler. He's on the one. Is it the little blue one? No, that's the combined, the brown, they're the separate inhalers. But Kobe's got the combined one, which is all in, all in one. Don't know the name of it. But, yeah, that was probably.

pretty scary. Shit. I know. I remember people fainting at school, though, do you? It seems to be like a school thing. We had a girl at our school who was, or still, you know, still is epileptic. And it was terrifying. I used to get so scared for her.

But she always took it in her stride. She was such like, I was always in awe of her as to that she was living with, you know, epilepsy. Yeah. And she never led it hinder her, never let it hinder her while we're at school, P.E., everything. I used to be like she is superhuman. Yeah. She's a superhero. You must just get used to it.

It must just be like, oh, I'm having another seizure. I must just become normal for you. Yeah, I remember people fainting at school and it seems to be like, I've never seen that in adult life. No. I just remember people like children like falling off their chairs. I mean, I'm making it sound like it was like happening left right and centre. It wasn't. But I really, it really sticks in my mind like that it happened to one of my friends when we're in year six.

Just fell off her chair. It's terrifying, isn't it? So weird. Yeah. So weird, but it must be, I don't know whether it's the heat, the confined space of the classroom. You just don't know, do they? Dehydration. Dehydration, yeah.

Gosh, how scary. But everybody is. So Dotty's fine. She's avoided it, is she? Dotty, I feel like she is, she's solid. She's fucking rock hard that one. Yeah. She don't get nothing.

The thing with Dotty is when she is actually ill, it's like all hands on deck because dots, when she's ill, fuck me. Yeah. The girl, the poor thing is so, so ill. But she is rock solid. She's got none of it. No sickness, no diary. She's like, oh, sorry you guys are sick.

She just, she just gets past. Peace out. So when she's poorly, it's like, fuck, she's really, she's really poorly. I feel like I'm that person in the house. Like Stefan was saying to me, because we've all been ill as well. And he was like, but you're like way more hardcore. And I was like, you're just the person. I try to just get through it.

I think you do just have to get through it. Yeah. But I think when you're. the main career for the children, your immune system is just like so solid because they're just like breathing and dribbling over me all the time. And I think my immune system, I have been ill actually this one time. But like I feel like my immune system's like so much stronger. I think that's like a mum baby thing, isn't it? Because your immune system's so weakened when you are pregnant and then you have them. But then because you're so close to them all the time, you just become. Because if you've got everything

they got, you'd be like wiped out all the time. All the time. You'd be like. You'd be like wiped out all the time. You wouldn't be able to do anything. I also put mine this winter getting less sick down to vitamins. It's the first winter that I've taken like vitamins religiously. And I do think that's helped me. We love a vitamin. But if I do go down, it's the throat. So always, and do you know, mine's the throat at the moment.

I feel like I'm swallowing razor blade. But it's the hay fever. I think that's making it worse as well. The hay fever. And do you know what? It's all down my throat, but in the back of my neck. And it just gets fucking worse. Every fucking year.

Some people go, oh, I grew up. out of hay fever. I'm like, when? When? When is that going to happen? Am I going to grow out of it? I hope so. I really hope so, because it is wank. It ruins. Everything. It really ruins your summer, doesn't it? I see pollen up ahead and I'm like, we're diverting. We can't walk through that bubble of pollen over there. Well, it's everywhere. Now that I'm in the countryside. Me and the children, and now Dottie's really suffering. It's her first year. That she's never had it before. She's suffering. I think Chris is getting it. He's like, I think I've got itchyy throw. When I say to him, I was sneezing and my eyes are going, and he's like,

I think I've got it. I'm like, oh God, here we fucking go. Here we are. Not another one. Not another way. I thought I pulled a muscle in my neck the other day, lifting Sadia up.

I said to my mum and dad I was like, I really think I've done some damage here. And now like two days in, I'm like, I think my glands are just up. That's what I think it is. It's so tender. I feel like the old... It's only on one side.

Yeah, mine's only the side. Mine's on the left. It's yours? Yeah, mine's on the left. So I said to step in this say, feel my neck because I feel like... Feel my crack. Fill my neck. Feel my neck.

Feel my neck. I was like, I feel like I'm going mad. Have I got like a golf ball sized lump on one side or not the other? And he was like, I can definitely feel that there's a lump there, yes. He was playing it down. And I was like, no, there's definitely a massive lump there. And it's so tender. He don't want to give you no sympathy.

It's like, don't you be getting sick. He won't give me any allowances. I'm like, let me be ill. No, God damn it. There's no time. But the kids, they go down so fast and then they bounce back up. Back up. We, we thought he had slapped cheek syndrome the other day.

Have you seen that? Yeah. I didn't know if it was scarlet fever or slap cheek. But she suddenly got really. really red and patchy and kind of rashy. Yeah. So obviously I was doing the worst thing and I was Googling it. Just to see whether I needed to like phone 1-1-1-1 or get, because it's one of them,

they need to have antibiotics. I think it's scarlet fever. I think it's scarlet fever. I think it's like, oh, they get over it. And I think it said in one to three weeks. I was like, she can't be like this for three weeks. Oh, bless. So we were just dosing the cowpole.

And after like a couple of days, she was fine. But she had like a raging temperature. Bless her. The other things were like sore throat and headache. I was like, well, I wouldn't know that. She can't tell me. She can't tell you. She was snotty, bunged up, had a cough, like just terrible for like two days.

And then, totally fine. Then Joseph came home from school the next day, raging temperature. So I was like, he's obviously got something now. But again, sleep on the sofa, a bit of cowpole. He was fine to go into school the next day. It's like they crash real hard and you're like, oh, shit, what is it? And then... So that's, I can't decide at the moment.

If Renli's poorly, he's just... He's got an upset tummy, but he's not on... He's not eating his food. Solid. So he's got... He's eating ice lollies, ice creams or yogurt. So you're like, is it the shits or is it just lollies? Yeah, because he's just shitting out water.

You don't know. Yeah. It's a tough one at the moment at this time. Yeah. It's been wild. And all of that on top of me trying to get ready for the BAFTAs. How exciting. Is it?

I don't know what I was more nervous about, the live show or the BAFTAs. I think they were on par. Yeah. So I'll be excited when I get there. I mean, we've just got to turn up. We're just guests. Have you and Chris? At the BAFTAs, yeah.

So he's got to wear tucks. Yeah. You've got to wear what you wear in? I've got my dress. I said yes to the dress. Is it going to be like the Mett Gala? I've seen the Mek Gala photos. No, I don't think.

Yeah, Kylie Jenna. That's what I'm rocking up with. I can't wait for your nipple. A rolled, rolled down wedding dress and my... Also, did you notice she had the pubic area too? Did she? Yeah, yeah. To be fair, I thought she looked fit as far.

I mean, yeah, obviously. But like, I mean, this year was just insane. But that's the whole point of the Mek Gala, isn't there? to be like outrageous but the Kardashians just they take it to another level don't they? I mean if I was a Kardashian. If you had that body, you would. You would. You would. You best belief. I would be all up. I'm looking forward to I just straight out of having my boobs out. No matter how shit they are, just rock up naked.

Yeah. This is my tithies. Your boobs and your bum crack. Yeah. That's like the new. That's the new thing. Yeah. Well, I look forward to seeing your nipple. I'm not having my tits out just so you know. Nipple in like a hard corset. Yeah. No. No. No in my pubic area. Just a normal dress. I'm very, very modest. Yeah. It's a very modest. It's a very modest. It's a very modest. It's a very modest dress. It's just a high neck, mesh sleeve with a bit of a fish tail. Long? The silky black.

Lovely. Slender black. I thought I was really worried I was playing it safe, but everyone was very kind when I shared it on my socials. Oh, have you shared it? Yeah, I haven't seen it. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to leave it as a surprise.

All the honeies have been insane. Until I see it on mail online, I'm not going to look. I won't be on. I won't be anywhere. I got to walk the red carpet as well. Yes, that's like me. I bought some shoes as well, but I haven't tried them on. and I fear I should have tried them on.

Could you not be wearing trainers underneath there? I did contemplate it, you know. No, I do, would know. I think I'm going to pick up some just really low little hills. Yeah. Because no one's going to see them. A block heel. Yeah.

Yeah. And you don't want to be too tall. It's a long day. It's a really, really long day. So I want to be as comfy as I want to be as comfy as possible. But we had a bit of a nightmare with Chris's suit because his doesn't fit. Because he's too tall. Yeah.

We've either shrunk it or the, laundrettes give us the wrong suit back when we had it dry cleaned because he said last night, anybody need a suit for an action man? I've got one. How cool is it? Very small. Like for a borrower? Yeah. I'd say Cobby would fit in it. And Chris is like what, six four? Six three, six four. Yeah. Yeah. It's tiny. It's tiny. And when you Google the size in the jacket, it says that it's ideal for a man between five, seven and five nine. So he's like, would I have bought this suit in the jacket? It's tiny. And he's like, would I have bought this suit in the jacket? It's tiny. And the first place. I was like, you fucking wall this to someone's wedding. I was going through the pictures last night to see if I could find him in the suit to see if it looked that small. So it was a suit he already had and then it went to the laundress and it came back tiny. But yeah, but we haven't

looked at the suit for five years. So has Chris grown or has the suit shrunk? Are you like, have I grown? I was like, I don't know, honey. But we're now on a mission four days to the BAFTAs to find Chris now an outfit. Oh God. He's so, he's so fucking chill though. Can he not just get one So hiring, minimum higher one we found was £130, minimum to hire it. That's a lot of money. Yeah. That's a real lot of money.

And then he's like, oh, it's okay, I'll just buy a suit because you always need a black suit. They range from like £3 to £500. That's obviously if you go to a suit shop, I'm aware there's like MNS. Yeah, High Street. Yeah, but will they fit him? Well, we've ordered a net one from M&S today.

So fingers crossed, it's going to just fit like a glove. Oh, God. I order it in long, the trucement. trousers are long, the jacket is long, we're praying, through his long legs, it's going to be long. I feel like this is Stefan all the time because his weight kind of goes up and down like a yo-yo. So he'll like wear something and then like eight years later he'll go, oh, I've got a suit for that wedding. And because with such last minute larries, he'll like pull it out on the way to the wedding and be like,

fuck, this doesn't fit me anymore. Or he's the worst thing is he never gets anything dry cleaned. So he'll go to a wedding. It'll get absolutely minging like food and drink all over it, sweat. He puts it back in the wardrobe. Five years later, he's like, oh, I'll wear that navy suit to that wedding. do and he gets it out and it's absolutely hanging and I'm like you can't go in that you can't it doesn't fit you and it's got mashed potato all over it red wine red wine oh on the waistcoat

no beer on the shoulder so we're getting there we're getting there well I feel like we're going to really cut it to the finish line yeah right on the last day and then I've got come up on on Saturday to get my tickets to then come back on Sunday oh have an audience to also go back on Sunday because it's a Sunday night so I've got to get home to the day so I've got to get home for the school run. I know. How annoying that these things were always on a Sunday. They give you only two allocated slots so either on the Saturday you can collect them in the allocated slot time

or the Sunday. But I said to Chris, we could get them on the Sunday but the only thing is, is the slot as an hour before the venue before it starts. So I was like, we're going to be hanging around for an hour. Also, I don't know whether I meant to wear my dress up on the train in the tube or do I bring a bag, but where do I leave the bag? Do I think

where are you going to get ready? And leave the stuff at Waterloo and get it when we come back. to get on the train or do I just go up in the... It's a long journey to be doing in like black tie. I'm going to look like a fucking twat at bloody 10am in my dress. Oh, I can't. Do you know what the influencers always do? They always get ready at the Park Plaza.

That's what you'll have to do. You'll have to book a suite. Get your makeup artist. I haven't got one. I've happened to do me makeup myself for the next four days so I can be ready for the big day. Got no one to do my hair because again left it too late. Yeah. So I've got to try and do some hairstyles.

At least you're good at doing it. You're not like me. I just wouldn't just have it down. I don't know. Down and straight. I'm hoping the hair mask is going to pay off. I won't look so dry. But yeah.

How exciting. I feel like I'm chasing my ass a bit at the moment though. My head is firmly lodged straight up my butt crack. Yeah. And I am. It's always the way with these things. You're like, oh, they'd be so nice to do. But then you're like, when you think about the logistics of it, you're like, oh, fuck.

Just had so much going on, though, leading up to this. Like, Dottie's had lots of dance. Colby's had lots of football. There's been dance competitions. We've been at football tournaments. In the last month there has been so much to cram in and then adding sickness into that as well It's been wild

I know But yeah Jesus I had a mammoth weekend Did you see what I did on my Instagram? No I fucking drove both the kids back to Essex on my own for the first time It was

Are you okay? Epic did you survive? On the way down there I was like I feel like I'm a smashing life I feel like I could do this a million times over Easy Peasy Why have been putting it off for so long so much easier than I imagined.

Three and a half hours down there. They both slept in the car. It was a lovely sunny day. Well, sunny evening. Got them in their PJs. No, I literally have to sit in silence. Okay. It's so hard to stay awake on the drive because I'm like, if I,

sometimes I like play a bit of a podcast, but they start to stir. And I'm like, do you know what? Do you not just put one air pod in? I don't have air pods. I have noise cancelling headphones, which would not be safe to drive with. No, that's not. I have contemplated that,

but I'm like, no, I think that'll be breaking some kind of rule of the road. So I literally just have to sit there in like darkness. and silence. Hello, darkness, my old friend. While they sleep in the back. I'm like, nothing's worth waking them up for. So I'm just like, well, I guess this is me now.

Just have some snacks and just try to keep myself going. But it was better than I thought. I got them in the car for their like bedtime. So I got them in their PJs and everything, ready for bed. Obviously they were like, the thing is it's fucking light until like nine o'clock. So they were like a bit excited to be out. So they didn't, Joseph was really tired. He fell asleep in the car at like eight.

Perfect. Oh wow. Sadie was awake until 9 o'clock. I was like, come on girl. You must be tired by now. But she's going through an age where she's like getting a little bit more difficult to put down because she's so much more aware now. Even when you put it in the cot, she tries to like, hold on.

She used to put her down and be like, no night and walk out. She'd be like, no night. And now she's like, stay with me. Look at me while I sleep. Yeah. So she's getting a little bit more difficult. But I got down there by like 10pm, transferred them over. They both slept all night in their own beds.

I was like, I'm sorry. I am smashing life. This is a dream. Then it was my nephew's second birthday. So we were there for that. It was lovely, beautiful weather, lovely weekend, had three days at home. Stefan was away working. I was like, this is the best time ever on the way back.

Hell. Absolutely hell. You had it too easy on the way down. This is karma. I was like, why did I think I could do this on my own? And that's why we all got sick. It took us like four and a half hours on the way back. There was like a massive diversion.

Part of the motorway was closed. Sadie, we thought, was ill with this slap cheeks syndrome. So she was like really uncomfortable in her car seat. was waking up, crying. I was like trying to drive, but I was like passing the dummies back to her. I was like, it's okay, it's okay. I had like six dummies in the front. And I was like passing them back to her.

Because every time they lose one, you can't get it. You can't pick it up. So I'm like trying to keep her quiet. Joseph did just like sleep and was fine. But he woke up going, and we need he hide my neck hurts because he's in his car car scene. It's like not great for him to sleep. I was just like this.

We got in like 11, I think 1130, 13th, transfer them into their beds. I went to sleep at midnight. And then again, because she was ill. she wasn't sleeping well, had me up at like two or half two, and then we got up for the day at half five. I was like, and that's when I got sick. I just think sleep is so crucial. Yeah.

If you don't sleep, you will get ill. And if you can't catch up on your sleep, you won't get better. Like I've had this sore throat niggling since then, and that was like 10 days ago. Yeah. Because I just can't catch. I think that's mine. I'm exhausted. Can't catch a break.

And then with the hay fever, it's just making it worse. I know. And then Stefan came home and he was like, he was like, like, oh, I'm feeling a bit better from my cold now. Hang around with us for a day. We all made him sick again. It's like a zombie apocalypse. He was like, I'm reinfected now and he's still ill.

But I was like, thank God at least. Like if we're both ill, at least there are two parents here now. Because when you're ill and you're on your own, that shit is not for the week. That shit is not for the week. It's really fucking hard. So at least now we can like share the load a little bit. You know, and he's home for a bit now.

But yeah, was it worth it? No. It was. when I got there. But coming back, no. Yeah. Not so much. This is a message to my family.

I won't be doing it again. I think the baby's got poorly from the party? I don't know. I think everyone was... Was it just a family party or did you have little friends? There was a couple of friends there, but like mostly family. But then again, my mum and dad have had a virus for like three weeks. They were only just getting better from theirs.

Right. And then we came back and they were like, I think we're getting colds. And I was like, sos guys, that's definitely Sadie. So she kind of made everyone a little bit sick. Sick again. It's all just... Sicky or shit. We're all just...

keep just infecting each other really. It's all just a vicious circle, isn't it? It is a vicious cycle. But that's live. Glad to be reunited with you, honey. Yeah, it's nice to be back. It's good to be back. It's been too long.

It's sore throats and all. Diarrhea and all. Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us. Respond to what we've been talking about or just say, hello.

You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search Secret MumPod. Or you can email us. Hello at secret mumpod.com. Ding. Is time for the correspondence corner? That was really sore on my throat. I was going to say.

No shouting. No shouting. We'll do a quiet. We're all in this together today. Oh, let me. I was still here. Okay. Emma, take it away.

Okay, this one says, Hi, ladies. I was listening to the episode where you spoke about Joseph's aggressive play and I wanted to write in as a self-employed play therapist. I support children through trauma, emotions, behavioral concerns, all through the amazing power of play. Play is truly a child's natural form of communication and language.

As a play therapist, it's my job to use play as a way to promote healing and help better understand what a child is going through so we can support them. In relation to Joseph's play, in my experience, children who aren't allowed to play out aggression can sometimes end up expressing it physically instead. One of my favorite sayings is, whatever a child suppresses they eventually express. So my advice would be to allow Joseph to play out his aggression with your support. You could introduce prompts like, I wonder if anyone can save him.

I wonder how this character is feeling. What could this character do when they're feeling angry instead of hitting? It's all an opportunity to help children learn about emotions and healthy ways to express them. Love the pod, Kelly from Yorkshire. Oh, how fascinating. That's lovely, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I do try and do that, like try and angle him towards...

Is it bad? if I join in the aggression. If she starts launching toys out of the way, I'm like, fuck these toys. Yeah. Yeah. He does throw his toys a lot, but the problem is he keeps breaking them and then he'll be like,

so and so is broken. And I'm like, well, stop fucking throwing it around then. But now I should be like, throw it around. Sure. Get your aggression out. Well, you're not. You're meant to say, shall we try and save him? Yeah.

Sorry, that sounded like I was taking the piss, Kelly. It wasn't at all. Can we do this in a different way? Yes. How else could this character express emotions? I sometimes like getting involved. Dotty, surveilling. aliens go through divorces all the time.

Do they? Yeah, she really loves to put them through a divorce. She's like, they're getting divorced, their co-parenting three children and a dog. And then she just starts launching them. And I'm like, are we okay? And she's like, it's a really bad breakup. I'm like, fuck them.

Where's she getting that from? I don't know, actually. I don't know where it comes from. But she is hearing it somewhere. I love the imagination. Like Joseph's new thing is like families and asking about families and like how all that plays out. And he's like, you know, where did I?

I come from. Why am I older than Sadie? Was there a time when I was here and Sadie wasn't here? Yeah. So now like when we're playing, he'll often be like, we were playing with Princess Peach and Bowser from Mario the other day. That's like one of his current faves. And he's like, they're married now. He goes, now she needs to get pregnant. Oh, gosh. I was like, right, one, two, skip a few. She's had baby now. Because I was like, we're not acting that out. He's like, she gets pregnant. She gets pregnant. She has a baby. I'm like, well, there's a bit more to it than that. But yeah, well, there's a bit more to it. I'm like, well, there's a bit more to it. Is he ever ask you how baby's? getting your tummy. Yeah, he does. And he says like, and for me, because I did have, because I did have cesareas as well, he's like, how did I come out? And I'm like, well, through my tummy. So now sometimes he's like, and I just came out your tummy. And I'm like, yeah. I don't have to say, I pushed you out of my vagina actually, because I think that might freak him out of it. I don't know. Colby took it quite well. Did he? Did he? Yeah. Yeah.

Not that you shouldn't say. Again, you don't know what's right or wrong. I know. I mean, I think I was more scared to tell Dotty because she's a girl. I wonder if when I told Colby, I was like, oh, boys don't do it. It's just girls that push the babies out of their foo-foo's. And he's like, what, a whole baby. Yeah. And two, when I was telling him the story of it, I was kind of like, yeah, I can see. Why, to you.

That would be seen mental. That seems crazy. They're probably imagining like a full-sized baby as well. I think he was imagining like three-year-old him. Yeah. Me pushing out a three-year-old. Because they don't know what they were like when they were a baby. They don't know that they were tiny.

No. You know? No. Yeah, it's funny though, isn't it? He, his play is just like, I mean, I know I've said before, like, I don't love the imaginary roleplay, but it is getting very funny now that his brain is like developing a bit more and he's getting older. It's, it's becoming just hilarious. I find it hilarious to watch Renley and Dotty do role play. Yeah. And she has him. He's, he's so much better with talking at the moment and not understanding now. And the things they, they talk about. And he'll just be sat in a princess dress in the middle of the. the middle of the garden and they all say do you want to come in he's like no way no way and I'm like why is he saying no way to me don't and she's like he's stuck in the tower mom oh yeah no way i can't repunzel yeah I ain't not punzel I not punzel who are you and he's like

chase on the case chase everything is chased on the case yeah poor patrol yeah it's very sweet it's very sweet I really really love it but I'm not allowed to be involved it's very much their game yeah don't you get involved no and if you do it wrong Dotty likes to be the parenting figure to him. Yeah. And she's like, no, I'll do that. I'll make his breakfast. That's ideal.

I'll give him his dinner. That doesn't change his bum, no. No. No, but that is the dream. That is the dream. But I love that, Kelly. Yeah, thanks, Kelly. So you can get in touch with us on anything good at all.

Yeah, it can be serious or silly, and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before and remember, We're all in this together, and we know that we are. We're all stars. I said we see that. Can you even hear that? When it goes quiet, I feel like it's very seductive. I feel like it's being too sensual.

Talk dirty to me. Right, are you ready? Yes. Here's my secret of the week. It's a big one. Yeah. And before we get into it, it's not me in any way gloating it. It's because we've been on this journey together and I want to share.

And also I do believe it's nothing to do with me. It's the children, the other two, the bigger two, my two. The other two, you know, the neighbour's kids. Renly is in pants. No, he is not. We're fully dried during the day. Fully trained. Bless his heart, he was, within five days, had cracked it.

It was like, great. Then he got diarrhea. And it's been a very sad time for him because he has to put his nappy on to have a poo. And he stands in the corner and he has a poo. And then he's like, take it off. Take it off. Is that because he wouldn't make it to the toilet in time? I just think he keeps, like, sneezing and coughing and then a bit comes out.

Yeah. And then he's like, oh, dirty pants. Because if he has a little bit of an accident in his pants, he's like, oh, dirty pants. But he's got Paul Patrol pants. They're like his favourite pants. If I could show, obviously I've shown you, but if I could show our friends, I would show them. But he really loves his super pants. He likes to show his muscle.

He doesn't like to wear any clothes other than his pants, just the pants. And they have chase on them. So he says, shouts very loudly, chase Willie. Chase Willie, because Chase is on the front of the pants. Yeah. But he just runs around screaming, Chase Willie! Chase Willie! And you're like, oh, crumbs.

Don't say that in public, yeah. Don't say that out. And he doesn't like it when you put trousers on and he can't see Chase on his pants. Oh, so he can only be, I mean, at least it's like the weather's a bit warmer now. But if you're going out, that's a problem, isn't it? It's a little bit of a problem. But where we've all been so ill, we haven't really been out. So we also have, when I say we are dry in the day, we have still yet to venture out of the house in pants.

Do you know what? I think that's a good thing though. That's probably why he's cracked it because they do say when you start potty training. Stay in doors. Stay in doors for like a week and just watch them. So now it would be interesting to see when you go out. We're going to start venturing out. I think after this week we're going to start venturing out next week and do a little trip.

I might just walk to the shop and back. Do some short little tannies. Yeah. Build it up. 10 minute out. 20 minute out, 30 minute out. Yeah. Then maybe do an hour out.

Car journey. Yes. Put towel on the car. Because it is a process. It is a lot. Yeah, it is. But yeah, I am, that's what we're doing. That's amazing.

Also, little tip for anybody that is in the midst of it, you said towel on the car seat. We do puppy pads. I cut a hole out of the seat, a hole out of the puppy pad. You know where the little harness bit is. And I just put us a puppy pad. And then he sits on a puppy pad. That's really clever. If anybody needs any advice or any little tip or trick.

there. That's really smart. But we just do puppy pads in the car. But yeah, I think he's going to be all right because he's spending a lot of time in the garden and he's coming in from the garden. So we bought him a seat, didn't we, to go over the toilet, which he was using grey. But then he was independently taking himself to the toilet and bless his heart, he's not sitting back far enough on it. So we've got a little hose. So we've taken that out and we've put a potty in the toilet in the downstairs toilet. Will he use a potty then? So he sits on the potty absolutely fine. So he's running in from the garden. so he knows he needs a wee. So he's coming in from the garden indoors

and weeing on the potty inside, which I think is great. Because Colby just would we in the garden, stood up and weed in the garden. Dottie would have a potty in the garden through the summer and just we in the potty in the garden. He knows. He knows to come in to use the toilet.

Yeah, that's really clever. But then the other two obviously come inside to we. So he's just watching. He's just watching them. But we had beautiful weather. So I thought, why not? Why not cease the opportunity? Now it's raining though.

So. But he's still inside. It's raining indoors. out. God, Little home. He's still inside in his little pants though, bless him. That's so good. But I feel so sorry for him.

He doesn't want to put, I know, but you don't want it, I don't want it to ever be like a showing off. Yeah, you don't want to be. I don't want to be. And I don't, if it wasn't for the other two, I don't think he would, we've spent a lot of time of him trying to catch Colby's wee to now Colby has to have a wee sat down. Well, as I've said, Colby, we sat down now because Renner just grabs the wee. So it's been a lot of him standing in.

watching the other two we and poo. Because when they're mid-playing, Dotty's like, oh, I'm going to the toilet. Renner's just like, and he does this little crazy run where he runs after. And he's like, me come, dot, me come dot. And they go into the toilet. And he just stands and he's up, nice wee-wee. Nice we-wee. And then they both wash their hands together, even though he's not, what before wasn't having a wee.

But I think it's down to them. Yeah. So, yeah. Oh, my God. That's so good. I feel so proud of him. Yeah. So proud of him.

Brilliant. In the midst of being ill as well. I know. You've been at home a lot though, haven't we, the last two weeks? Yeah. But once he's over the diarrhoe, he will do like a normal poo. I think he has had poos on the potty. But at the moment it's a, but it's hard because as well, when he's going for a wee,

he is having a little bit of a poo. So he's just so confused. It's just not, it's both happening. He's not really thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But he's, yeah, he's doing great. Oh, that's great. I know. Sadie will say wee, but she's just still got a happy. on, so that doesn't really mean anything. It's only because the weather's been beautiful, but I thought I'm just going to free him of the nappy, let a bit of air into his bum bum.

I'm too scared to... But if you're out in the garden... Let her loose. I'm not fast if I'm out in the garden. No. Hose them down before they go back in and get it. Oh, well done. So that's my secret this week.

That's a big one. It's not really mine, is it? It's Rennies. No more nappies, apart from at night. Nighttime nappies. Yeah. But now we've gone from nappies to puppy pads to get ready for going out in the kill. Yeah.

I don't know which one's. cheaper. Well, puppy pads, you can actually pick up in B&M. Can you? Yeah, you can. Pick them up in B&M. Home bargains. Get yourself the puppy pads for the car seats. Top tips, sannies. And we'll get into some of yours after this short break. We've got three secrets from you this week. We're going to be discussing. So Emma, take it away with number one. Hey, ladies. Hello. It's Josh again. Hello, Josh. Remember him? I wrote in before about my girlfriend and I expected our very first baby together, a little girl due in October and you gave us some lovely advice about bonding with our Because I was just about to say Josh wanted to bond with bump.

Yes. Yes. He says, well, I'm back with more questions. What kinds of toys and books would you recommend for babies? We've heard that reading to your baby can really help with speech development. So we want to get it right from the start. Also, do you get to choose whether a baby has an iny or an outie belly button? Or is it just down to how the umbilical cord heals.

Thanks for helping us with all our questions. I think it's just down to the umbilical cord, isn't it? How it kind of falls out. Yeah. It's how it heals. Obviously, it gets cut with a little bit on it, doesn't it? Yeah. And then they put the clasp.

on it and it just depends how it drops off and heals. Renleys was the quickest to come off but I don't know whether that was because he was in the Niki for so long and I didn't notice being at home but no one really talks about the belly button do they? No. It's like a secret no one really talks about. Like it happens to everyone. But no one really ever talks about how wild.

Yeah. It is wild. You never really think like Joseph said to me the other day why do we have belly buttons and when I started explaining it I thought this sounds absolutely. Absolutely mental. Yeah. I was like, well, it was once a cord where you were attached to me when you were in my tummy and how you used to get all your food and stuff.

It's like a bungee. Yeah. And he was like, what? And then you come out with it on. I'm like, yeah, a little bit. And then it just goes dead and it drops off. And then you get a belly button. And he's like, what?

It's the whole process of the belly button. You're so used to see in the little clip and like wet. I used to cotton bud like around it because it, you know, it'd go a little bit scabby and stuff, didn't there. And then it just drops off and it's just healed. Yeah. It's not a gaping wound. No.

It's not nothing. No. Sometimes it can get a little bit pussy, a little bit infected because obviously it's healing. But that's it. And then you've just got another hole in your body. And you've just got this beautiful belly button. Mad. Imagine we just didn't have belly buttons, though.

I think we would look strange. They are weird. They're weird things. But like without them, we would look so odd. Is it you that hates belly buttons? Yeah. Yeah, can't touch it. I don't want to finger no belly buttons.

Oh, God, no. Still got Joseph's unbilical cord. Did you keep yours? All three of this. Yeah. Disgusting dead. Colby's 10 now and there's not much there's not much left in the clip.

Is it? Disintergrade? Oh. So when he's older it'd just be the clip. Yeah. There was once an umbilical cord in there. Part of your flesh. Just disintegrating.

I stupidly kept all my pregnancy tests as well and I did too. And then I think they just like... They dissolve. There's nothing left. There's nothing on them. There's nothing on them. I know. They're just blank.

Well, I kept the ones with the like the line on them. And I think the line stays for a bit but it kind of fades. Yeah. But the clear blue did. digital ones. I was thinking it would say like pregnant three plus weeks forever. Yeah, me too. And obviously the screen just dies. It does dies. So now it just looks like a blank pregnancy. Yeah. I've just got a box filled with brinkice on it. Yeah. Yeah, with you. Yeah, with these are the things we do. Josh. So if you do any of these things, just know that it's completely

normal. Yeah, we're with you. What about toys and books? I don't actually think you need like that much in the way of toys and books. No. We went with like the, the stat, not at the very start. But obviously you can read books the moment babies home. Or read books to them in the womb. Yeah, I was going to say read books now to bump. And then you can read books the moment they come out, you know. Yeah. We went with more things like lights and sound.

Yeah, like sensory things. Yeah, more sensory things to start with. Obviously, black and white is great at the start because babies don't see colour. Yeah, they should probably, you probably will get a free, I got like a free book start pack. Did you get that? Depends where you are. Depends where you live, maybe. I don't think I got one.

But basically the patterns, you can buy the books as well with like the bold black and white patterns in them because that's all the newborn can see at the start. So like we used to wrap that around the bassinet and they would just spend ages staring at it. Yeah. But apart from that, like board books and like things they can grab. And then you can move on to things like the belly rollers when they're doing a bit of time and they're getting a bit bigger and stuff. But otherwise I would just go with, yeah, you reading because that's the way. Because Josh, we know Josh wants to bond with bump right now because that's what he wrote in the first. first time around is how to bond with bump.

Yeah. And it might be your little thing, Josh, when she comes, when she comes. It might be your little thing when if mum's feeding, if mum wants to breastfeed and you're not doing the bottle, it might be mum's time to breastfeed baby and then yours to do the nighttime story. But we went with lots of lights. Yeah. Yeah.

Like that's so nice and soothing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's loads of, there's loads of stuff you can get. When they get a bit older, they love a little mirror to look in. Yeah. And most of them come on like a play mat. When you buy a play mat.

Yeah. Play mats are always no harm, are they? You can buy lovely play mats that they can lie down on and you can lie them on. I don't know where I was going with that. You can lie them on, like from early doors because they have music and sound and stuff. So you can lie them on early doors and they come with nice toys on them, don't they? So like a little play mat. Yeah.

Yeah, there's loads of nice bits. Those are nice bits. Little bouncer or a little swing chair. I did actually see something. Stefan sent me something on Instagram this week about like reading to your child, basically like books ahead of their age and like older than you would think that they would be interested in. Yeah.

So like she was like by the time your child is like Joseph's age because we're noticing that he's growing out of a lot of his books now. Even like the Julia Donaldson ones, which I like have loved since he was like a baby, he's a little bit too old for them now and he's like read them to death and he's a bit bored of them and he knows all the rhymes off by heart. But I'm like, where do we go next? Because he's not literate. He doesn't know how to read. But this thing was saying like actually choose like. a child's like novel almost.

The example they used was Charlotte's Webb. And it was like choose a book that is for like an eight or nine year old that can read and read it to your four or five year old. And actually even though they can't read, they will understand and follow the story line. Samir Stefan are going to start doing that of Joseph because he's really like falling out of love with his books and reading. Just because I think there's nothing that he's really interested in,

he's bored of all the baby stuff. So I think you can kind of read to them. Read it older to them than you think that they can understand. Yeah. James the Giant Peach. That was Colby's favourite. It just helps their imagination, I found. Yeah.

We did do that with all three of them. We still do it now. But obviously, now I'm very lucky because Colby and Dottie read to Renley. And I just, it's just been, it's fantastic for their memory. And also as well, where they're so, when you're reading to them, like you'll probably fine with Jojo, where you're reading him a bigger book that's more intellectual for his age, is they go so into their mind about thinking about it that then makes them more tired

because they're creating such an incredible story. He'll be imagining the story because obviously there's no pictures. And then having wonderful dreams and then like Dottie would tell us about her dreams about the story, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to start doing it.

Definitely. Do it. Let us know how you get on. You have to let us know how you get on and Josh, you keep us posted. I'm loving this journey with Josh. I know. I feel like we're on it with him.

I feel so lovely, isn't it? Yeah. Thank you so much. Right. Let's have number two. Okay. This one is from Rachel in sunny South Africa. She says, how's it, Sofa and Emma? How's it? How's it? How's it? I've been listening to your podcast since day one. And honestly, you've carried me through so many highs and lows in everyday life. I have a dilemma I could really use your help with. But first, a little backstory. In 2023, I fell pregnant with my beautiful little boy, Colby. Sadly, he was born sleeping at 36 weeks. I was absolutely devastated. But I'm very happy to share that I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby girl. This is where my dilemma, comes in. My husband, Chris, this is weird. Wow. A Chris and a Colby is absolutely over the moon

about having a little girl and so are our families. But honestly, I'm terrified. I know that probably sounds strange, but I was convinced this pregnancy was another boy and had fully prepared myself for boy, mum life. Now I'm scared about bringing a little girl into such a harsh world, especially living in a country with one of the highest gender-based violence rates in the world. Please, if you have any advice on how to cope with the anxiety of raising a daughter, I'd really appreciate it. What are some lovely things to look forward to with a little girl. I don't feel like many people understand why I'm so worried. All my love. Rachel. That's a tough one, isn't it? And again, we can only ever talk on our own experiences because, you know, she's gone through losing a baby, you know. And that's a lot. And I would

never, ever want to take that from anybody because I don't know how that pain feels because I haven't lived it. But I can only imagine from being a mum of a boy and being a mum of a girl, too very, and I think you all agree, it's two very different genders to raise. It's a really different experience. It's a completely different experience. But I think it's natural for you to feel the way you feel right now in that you've gone through everything that you've gone through.

Also, I think when you get an image in your head that you're having that gender, like until Dottie was born, I still didn't believe I was having. having a girl. Like I just thought, I'm definitely a boy, mum. I'm only going to have boys. And then when she came, I think I had to tell myself not to have any expectations. And I think also after I lost the twins in between Colby and Dotty, because I'm not saying it's the same, but because I was, because I'd lost the twins and then I'd fallen pregnant with Dotty again, I had to just kind to tell myself to trust my body, trust the process. And I basically didn't allow myself to not enjoy the pregnancy, but not to think about when she's here. I just had to kind of just shut it out

and enjoy it as much as I could and then take from it what it is when she arrives. And I think that's all you can do. And I know that's not going to make you feel any better or take any of your pain away or change the situation. But no two children of the things. But no two children of the same. No two genders are the same. And I just think, try your best to look forward to all the makeup moments, you know, all the moments of you get to dress her in pretty little dresses and the way they sleep is so much different to how a boy sleeps and their facial, um, their, like, Dotty's facial expressions were so much more feminine to like Colby's facial expressions. And she would always look so sweet in different positions to what Colby did. He'd be like,

Colby'd lay on his back with his hands in the air, mouth wide open and he'd be a typical, what I'd say, like a typical man sleeping, whereas Dotty was so cuddly, she loved her teddy, she loved snuggling in, she'd loved a blanket, whereas Colby loved not sleeping with a blanket. So I feel like there's so much more you can take from it when she's actually here. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think our daughters are growing up in a different world as well. Like, I definitely think there are different worries that come with having a girl. Like I think, like as much as you try and be like, oh, raise them both the same, I think you do end up just, it just does end up being different.

And I must admit, like, I worry about Sadie growing up more than I worry about Joseph growing up. Yeah. Because I know what it's like to grow up and be a girl. Yeah. And I think probably has been harder. But I just hope that they're going into a world that's going to be a little bit better for them than it was for us and our moms and their moms. I think that I'm the same issue. I think it felt more daunting to carry a girl because I knew I've been there.

I've lived it and I know exactly what she's going to go through. Like I will worry about stuff happening to her when obviously I'll worry about Joseph as well. But I'll worry about different things happening to Sadie like when she starts going out and when she gets a boyfriend or a girlfriend or when she starts drinking or if she goes to university. Like I will worry about all the things happening to her that I worry about happening to me. But I just like to hope things are getting a bit better. We'd like to hope. But I think from this moment. and being that Rachel's gone through everything she's gone through.

I think just try to take every day as it comes. But just know that you're not alone in that everybody feels the way she feels. And I think what's sad is that she doesn't have anybody to talk to our friends, don't get it, because that's hard when you're trying to reach out and speak to people. But I would personally say that I feel it's very normal for Rachel to feel the way she's feeling and have these thoughts. Because I even think, even in any, doesn't matter how many babies you have,

I think in every every pregnancy, we all have the same thought process, don't we? I think it's a natural thing in our mind to question what if or what's it going to be like, what's she going to be like, am I going to be okay? And there's so many what ifs. And it doesn't matter how much advice anybody gives you, it's always going to be how you feel and yourself. And I think as much as we all tell you, I definitely think it's just you in that moment. And as much as it's hard, you have to kind of just sit back and take, take every moment as it comes.

Yeah. Because it is, it's hard. It's stressful, isn't it? Yeah. It is a lot. And I just, I try not to think too much ahead because I can't, I can't think too much into the future of, of the children. And I think because I'm so scared of the future, I'm always one to live right now. Yeah, live in the present. I'm really, really in the present. Like, right, what happening today is what's happening today. I can't think about the future, because I'm so frightened of that. So I have to very much live in this moment and make the moment our last today. And that's how I always live.

Every day I wake up and I think, God, if this was our last, let's fucking make it a cracker, whether that's going home, that's going out, that's doing whatever. I have to really, really live in the moment because I'm too scared,

too scared of the future. Yeah, I think that's good advice. But I think you're doing incredible and I think it's totally justifiable for you to feel and think the way that you're feeling right now. Definitely. And thinking the way you're thinking. And we're sending you all,

all I love in all the world. And if anybody is or has been through Rachel, what Rachel's going through, sorry, if you can share some advice and your thoughts. And that would be lovely to pass on to Rachel, wouldn't there? Yes. Because it is a hard one. It's a very hard one. Right.

Let's have our last secret. All right. Hey, Sofa and Emma. Hello. My son, Sonny, is two years old and isn't speaking loads yet. He says the basics like hi, Mama, Dada and a few other bits. But I had to send this in because it's one of the funniest things he does. I may have accidentally taught my son to say,

Mama in a demonic voice. And to any other parents out there dealing with speech delay, you've got this. You are enough and your child will get there in their own time. Lots of love Annie from Jersey Channel Islands. Oh, Annie, I can't wait to see, Sunny. Oh, God. Oh, here we go.

Mama. Oh. Oh, my husband. Do you know, I thought that was like quite, normal thing. I've obviously, I think as a parent, you have concerns, don't you? I was thinking, oh, Renly's a little bit, Reni's a little bit behind as to where the other two were at his age. And I think, oh gosh, the other two talk for him, so he doesn't talk very much. But I thought that was just, because my brother's wife, Renly, her name is Amy, but he says,

Amen. And no one says it to him like that. Where do we say to him, who are you hiding from? And he goes, I'm. Oh, I can't even do it. Hovey. It gives me the hiccups, but you go so deep on the Amy. I don't know. That's, that's home from home for me. That is so funny. That's giving me the hiccups. Annie, that's brought me a lot of joy because I thought, Mama. Mama. It's hard to do. God, he can really get down there, Sonny, can he? He does it without. Hey, me. Mama. He's hiding from home here. I'm like, oh gosh, okay dokey. But I love that so much. Wow, someone get a priest up in here. And Annie, show it.

louder, honey, for the ones at the back that are not listening, we've all in this together. Yes. You're going to get through it. Everything is going to be great. And I just think there's too much pressure now, isn't there on? And there's a lot of comparison. And we all do it ourselves. Like we thought, and we've spoken about it on here, like you said about Renley, we thought

Sadie was behind in her speech compared to where Joseph was. And she's absolutely fine. They're just different children. I love their little, I do love their own little way of saying things. Even Chris says to me, So can you tell me what he's saying? So he loves Doody. He says Doody at the moment, but he means Judy from Zootropolis. So in the lounge, he was like, dody, does he need a poo?

And I'm like, I said, I don't know what he's saying. I said, Friendly, what are you asking Daddy? And he's like, he wants Judy from Zutropolis. And he's like, how the fuck do you fucking get that? And I'm like, well, you've got it on your ain't, honey. But I love it when they find their own little way in the things that you were saying. It's like your own little way to communicate. Yeah.

And when they start learning like the proper formation or the proper words, I'm like, no, go back. We haven't got our secret language anymore. Go back. I know. I know. And like Asi Bao. Asi Bao is no in our house, but he's just learned, no. Asi Bao. That's how Renly says no. Do you want to have this for dinner, Asi Bal? Do you want me to wipe your bum, Asi Bal? Do you want to wipe? That sounds like Japanese or something. I know. But that's our favorite thing. Like when anybody says anything, my sister, now me and my sister say, if we don't want to do something, we go Asi Bal. Asi Bal. Yeah. But the other day I was like, do you want to, I don't know what I said to him. I said, do you want to go for a bath? No. Oh, he just said it. I beg your finest, pardon, assy-bow. What happened to Asi-Bow?

And he's like, no. No. And I was like, honestly, shed a tear. I was like, this is actually breaking my fucking heart. No, no, Asi-Bow. Because everybody, even Colby and Dotty, everybody in our house says Asi-Bow. If I said, Chris, have you done the bins? Asi-Bel.

Do you want me to hang the washing out? Asi-Bel. Colby, do you want this for dinner? Asi-Bow. We all do it. It's so huge in our house. But what I love is that will become a thing now that you just do forever. But Rennie's the only one now that doesn't say Assy-Bow?

Yeah, but when he's older, he'll be like, what's the story behind this? And you'll be like, well, let me tell you. Asi-Bow is no. Oh, Annie, thank you so much. And Sonny, we loved that. Don't never change. I was to say adorable, but not really. It is fucking adorable.

Amy, Mommy. So thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. If you'd like to share your secrets with us you can, the email is hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Have you been getting down with the secretummonpod? Or do you have any wild items in your baby memory box? Then let us know there really is nothing too outrageous.

Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club!