Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - Show & Tell with Mr P

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Mr P joins Sophiena and Emma for a summer holiday Show & Tell! They talk about all things triplets and keeping your children safe online. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we're getting into the summer holiday show and tell. Each week, Emma and I will be bringing in a new activity that we're doing with the children. So you can give it a go or tell us what you've been doing instead. And we've got another special guest with us today. So let's do it.

do it instead. And we've got another special guest with us today. So let's do it. What do you bring to the table this week, Emma? Last week. What did you bring to the table last week, Emma? I was talking about swimming. You were. Because we've got a new favourite activity. Me, mostly me and Sadie, but me, sadie and joe i've been you're trying to get into the swimming swing trying to get into the swing swimming swimming swing trying to get into the swimmer swing yeah swim swing of swinging trying to get into the swing of swinging um ain't no one getting that's a different podcast if you're swinging you're swinging you know good for you good for you you go get it girl of swinging, what's your activity of the week? So my activity this week is we are still very much on Project Garden.

Oh, yes. It's a very, very slow process. Yeah. We've been back and forth with a few gardeners with regards to the whole because I did get a lot of messages saying, I don't know why you're not laying the grass till September. It won't shrink. It'll be totally fine as long as you water it.

But then we've had another gardener come around that said, no, the first one was correct. You can't lay the turf until September, October time. So I was like, okay. I didn't know you can't lay turf in summer. Yeah. We had our garden done and didn't even think about what time of year it was. Yeah, I don't know why.

So we've had two gardens come around, both September, October. So we're getting over the grass situation, but we're still very much in the midst of the garden. Yeah. Garden shenanigans. The decking

is officially done. Nice. Did you build that yourself? Not personally, myself, my dad and Chris done it. Wow. I watched the babies.

Yes. Which arguably is a harder job. Harder job, yeah. I was on baby duty with the help of my mum who also come around to join us for many a lunch times, sharing the baby load.

But the decking is done. So we are fully down with the decking. We've got to wait for the balustrades. I still haven't decided on what balustrades I want. What are they like? Balustrades are like a little short fence to go at the end of the decking. Nice. And we're going to have a little gate out onto the garden to eliminate flying bulls.

Right, coming from the football pitch. No one needs flying bulls when you're trying to sip on Prosecco, you know. And also to eliminate running down the garden, potentially onto the decking, slipping, falling, hurting, whatever the situation may be. Also, if there's grown-ups and stuff we're having a barbecue again it would just a little bit more of a danger zone yeah and we'll also when redley's able to go out the back door and play out there he's got a safe place for him to play while the bigger ones play down the bottom end of the garden yeah so we still need to get the balustrades done we're also still waiting to get the little fence up and the fences but the decking is done

which because we've had such lovely weather is enabled us to get a little paddling pole so we have got a little splash because we have got our big inflatable slide one yeah but i can't put that up at the moment because it would have to go on the gravel because the weight of it would be too heavy for the decking right and the little one's been on the decking the little one has just been outside the playroom so there's like a little l shape between the garden between the garden playroom and the decking right that makes sense there's a little drop in of grass so we put some artificial grass down right and put the little paddling pool on there it's friendly been in that's my phone on the floor yes he absolutely loves water which i think after hearing how positively sadie got on with it yeah i think we're going to give it a try yeah we're going to bite

the bullet and take him for a little dip in the pool yeah because i think he's going to love it paddling pool's a good start though yeah we had joseph in the paddling pool for like the first time a couple of weekends ago and he actually loved it and i'm gonna put we've been putting his bath seat you know the seat in I was telling you. The angel seat. Yeah, the angel seat. And he's been just sat in there paddling his little toesies. I know. It's so nice when it's, because it's been so hot.

So hot. For the babies, like, sometimes I'm like, I don't know what to do with you. Unless there's like a body of water to dip you in, I don't know how to cool you down. No. And it's really hard for them because they don't know how to regulate their temperature, do they? Or tell you that they're too hot. Yeah, yeah. It's hard.

We've also been to my mum's as well because we've had a barbecue at my mum's. And my mum had her inflatable climbing slide thing. She got the whole shebang around her house. A bit similar to our one. And Renly had to, he dipped his little toes in there. Oh, yeah. Which he absolutely loved. So, no, it's been a whole...

We're just absorbing. We're absorbing the slow mornings in our pyjamas. The sun's been beautiful. We've been out on the deck at like 7 o'clock in the morning. It's been so nice, hasn't it? And the evenings have been so nice as well. Do you know what I love in this country is when you can leave the house without taking a jacket. A coat.

You can just leave sleeveless and not even worry about it. So footloose and fancy free. I know. Doesn't it just make leave sleeveless and not even worry about it. So footless and fancy free. I know. Doesn't it just make you feel so liberated and alive? I love it. Oh, I feel like you're on holiday, don't you? It's like that first time you go out the house without a changing bag. Yeah.

You can just bung a nappy and wipes in your handbag. Yeah. Or your body bag. I forgot how much. Body bag? Ain't no one going out with a body bag. Excuse me. Cross body.

Yes. A little cross body bag. Or a little bum bag, a little fanny pack. Yeah, fanny pack. I'd forgotten how easy it got with Joseph. We literally had to take like hardly anything out. Then traveling with a newborn again, I was like a pack horse. Yes.

Had to bring so much stuff. I feel like the man in Mary Poppins, you know, when he's got all the band on him and he's got that. That's literally what it feels like when you leave the house. Yeah. Like a bag lady. And you know what? Some days I actually, God love Chris, bless his heart.

But some days I get all three children ready as well as doing Dottie's hair, get myself ready. Sometimes I look like a bag of shit, but the children look great. And I get out, the pram's ready in the car, the baby changing bag's done. I've got bottles formula. I've got the thermals. I've got change of clothes. I've got nappies. I've got wipes. I've got a snack for the other two. I've got bottles formula i've got the thermals i've got change of clothes i've got nappies i've got wipes i've got a snack for the other two i've got waters for the other two and chris is the only one running late yes and i just think what are you doing he's like i

needed to take my morning poo i'm glad that's the fucking priority on the top of your list honestly i'm just coming out and he comes out looking like bloody that man that's just stepped out of the ocean in 007. Yeah, he's in like James Bond. He just walks out like looking great

in his lovely two-piece co-ord. I've got snot on my shoulder, a bit of vom on my back. I'm wearing clothes from about 10 years ago. Mate, I've never related to anything so hard

in my life. And also, I love how everything is my responsibility to pack. Like, I went to my mum and dad's the other week and I went, oh, I forgot to pack such and such for Joseph and also i love how everything is my responsibility to pack like i went to my mom and dad's the other week and i went oh i forgot to pack such and such for joseph and stuff i was a bit like oh for god's oh now he's not gonna have his whatever and i was like uh you could have fucking picked it up you're you're half a parent as well hello you know what he needs i always said i put up my Instagram behind every beautiful child or set of children is a mum looking like a ragged old...

Piece of shit. Piece of shit. I always put them up front. Judge me on my children. Yeah. Judge me on the behavior of my children and how well they're dressed. Do not look at me. Do.

Look at, squint your eye when you look at me, okay? Don't look at me. I haven't had my hair done. I was so jealous the other day. My sister went and had her hair done with my niece oh and i was just like i love you for having your hair done she was like you're gonna get your hair glow up girl i haven't got no renly has also learned to hold things yeah he is grabbing pulling hair he's grabbing my hair he's playing with toys we're like proper in motion play now. Like he stands in his little activity table.

He's pulling things. He's interacting with the other two. Like he's had a massive, huge jump in his play interaction. I said, oh, if I wasn't balding, I am fucking now. There's clumps of it. Clumps of my hair just in his hands. And he's like, yeah. Sadie, that poor baby is constantly covered in my hair.

Honestly, it's too much. That poor baby is constantly covered in my hair honestly it's too much that's why i can only wear my hair in up up yeah in like a low ponytail because it's the only way she can't pull it out i feel like i don't know if it's postpartum hair loss where you lose your hair or it's just that your baby then just starts to rip it out of your head i think that's the actual double whammy yeah, it's just been a very, very chilled time. Nice. It's been very, very lovely. It's easier when the weather's nice because you can just be outside.

You don't really have to think of anything to do. You don't have to do nothing. No. And we've had our cousins round. Our cousins have been round and chilling with us in the garden. So nice. Some have been in the playroom on the swings. We've sat on the deck in.

Randy's had his little swing outside. Honestly, it's healing my soul. This is what the summer should be about. It shouldn't be stressful. Get the memo, UK. It shouldn't be rushing out to do big, expensive days out. Just soak up your little family. Yeah.

Honestly, I'm here for it. Yeah. I wish it could never end. It's been nice nice isn't it so nice long may it continue it won't though it'll be raining next week

okay optimistic if you have a fun summer holiday show and tell activity idea why not get in touch you can email us hello at

secretmumpod.com or we're secretmumpod on tiktok and instagram next we'll be welcoming a very special guest. Welcome back to the Secret Mum Club,

where we're talking about all the fun activities you can do to keep your children happy and busy. But we do all need a little inspiration from time to time. And that's why we've got an expert guest joining us for the show until today. So let's welcome Lee Parkinson, also known as Mr. P. Welcome! Welcome! Thank you so much for having me.

Do you want to tell us a bit about yourself the floor is yours so I am a primary school teacher I've been a teacher now for well it will be 17 years in September wowzers I'm officially the old guard

do you know what I realised before that the kids I'm going to teach next year were born in 2016. What the blinking blazers? Stop it. Doesn't that just make you feel really, like they won't know a time before Brexit. It's just. 2016, I swear, was only like three years ago.

Yeah, definitely was last week for me. Wild. To be honest. That is crazy. That is crazy. So, yeah, so I am part of the sort of old guy. You know, you're getting old a bit when, you know, when you're watching films with your kids, you know,

the films you used to watch when you were a child. Yeah. And then you'd see the parents in the film and you'd be like, oh, God, they're so annoying, those parents. Whereas now I'm watching these films going, no, Dad's spot on there. Yeah. Doing that. That's me.

Nice one, Dad. Why is he being portrayed? He's just being responsible, you know? Yeah, yeah. He's being a responsible adult. So, yeah, so I still work part-time in my school and then the other part of the week I sort of travel around the country sort of doing training sessions with teachers,

mainly around sort of making more out of technology in school and how tech can support children with different learning needs and help teachers do different bits and bobs um and then obviously share some of that on social media make sort of funny in videos about life as a teacher and um and also got the podcast with my brother that we do to mr p's in a podcast where we sort of share the sort of light-hearted side of teaching and share teacher as well isn't he he's a yeah so he's a hlta so like a higher level teaching assistant yeah okay so um you've got your plate full how do you have time to do all that? And we've just discovered. Hold on a minute. The cherry on top of the cake here.

You've got. You are a dad too. Triplets, yeah. Triplets. 13-year-old triplets. They are 13 years old. 13, yeah. Wow.

So it's funny because people say, oh, it gets easier. And it did get easier for a while. But now as we head into the teenage years, it's starting to people say oh it gets easier and it did get easier for a while but now as we head into the teenage years it's starting to get challenging again oh don't tell me that because everyone goes i've got a toddler and a four month old and everyone goes oh teenagers are way harder than toddlers i'm like oh great i can't wait for that phase of my life i'm already struggling darren yeah no you have a great period it's sort of so obviously when we had the three of them when they were really young it was really intense like obviously people are always asked because I had them really young as well so I was only 25 when we had them so uh obviously well it wasn't planned or anything it was quite a funny story were they natural yeah so we got married in so it's my wedding

anniversary today actually oh happy anniversary to you and your lovely thank you very much but 14 years and uh she's getting her hair done that's why i've scheduled it in yes so i don't want anyone thinking like what's he doing a podcast on his wedding anniversary she's getting her hair done so we're all good we're all good um so yeah we we went on our honeymoon after getting married and then found out we were expecting a baby

October yeah so we all so I've got a stepson as well so I've got um 20 year old stepson I'll be 21 uh on Saturday actually you don't look old enough what the hell oh my gosh I know oh my

god these filters you can put on Zoom now. Yeah, I know. Isn't it phenomenal? That's how you do your social media. She's constantly got a tan. I don't know how she does it. So, yeah, so we found out we were expecting. So we went to the first scan.

And it was really, because my wife had terrible, like, morning sickness, like, really, really bad. And I joked the night before. I was like, you don't think it's that bad because there's more than one in there and my wife was like don't be so silly oh my god and then we went to this scan and the nurse started you know putting the um the gel on the gel on and look and then she looked at her face just dropped she turned the screen away from us and like really inspected this the screen and isn't that the most terrifying thing you think it was so scary and then she just said have you been have you been having any fertility treatment and we were like no and then she just held three fingers up that

was it that's all she did um so i was a bit like what does that mean and my wife burst into tears because she immediately went into, you know, panic mode of how the hell do you cope with three babies? I cope with three. Oh, wow. I was just buzzing with the fact that like. So how old was your stepson then when the triplets came? So he was six.

So he was born in 2003. They were 21. Yeah. So, yeah, seven 2003. They were 2011. Yeah. So yeah, seven, eight, seven, eight. We always joke on this podcast about like going for one more baby and then maybe having like twins or triplets. You went from one child to four children overnight. I know.

Wow. And how's it been? Because you were just saying they're all, you've got two twin boys. Identical twin boys. And a girl. How are they? Oh, they're brilliant. They're amazing.

They're incredible. They are the best thing ever, really. Do you know, I was watching something on social media the other day and this girl had written, like no shade to her, but she wrote, when I'm having a bad day, I always sit and think there's another mum out there with three children and then I'm instantly better. And I doubted and think there's another mum out there with three children and then I'm instantly better and I doubt into it I thought oh it's quite funny you know for the ones that don't have children but I actually doubt into it and thought how

boring would my life be if I didn't have my children I know but I generally wouldn't be with Chris if I didn't have them yeah but one at a time like I think one baby at a time is hard enough I cannot fathom how people do it with two or even three so it's interesting because I think that the the first year people always ask me because like I said I was a little bit younger so when um so when a lot of my friends now are in that initial you know they've got babies younger children and they always say to me like I don't know how you did it with three and it was incredibly intense but i look now at some of my friends who have got like three under five but three different ages i think that's harder because you're you've got to deal with three at three different ages to attend to their needs all differently having three at the same age and also you technically

don't know any different you got given three babies you hadn't had one baby you know not in a horrible way but you never had one baby to yourself obviously your wife had had her son but if you don't know any different i think you just you just manage you find your way don't you because you don't know what it's like to just have the one baby on their own you're just thrown into it and like well let's fight or flight yeah and we were we were incredibly lucky with our family so like my mum and dad Claire's mum were just so involved so I mean we just went full-on routine from day one of like six o'clock bath bottle bed and if one of us me and claire weren't around they'd always be a family member who'd come and just help you just help and that's good

i'll cry you can't talk about this lovely shit i will cry my eyes we could do a whole podcast i feel like we could do a whole few we could have a whole series i know to be honest because i could talk about this all day long I find it so fascinating yeah and we were just talking before we come on didn't we about you being a teacher also being a daddy to the three the three of them um and how they are always compared to why they're not all the same and I find this really fascinating because I was talking about it a couple of weeks ago on my Instagram where I have a twin brother and we, and I have an older sibling who's 18 months older than me.

And I've always been compared through school as to why, and nobody gets it. Nobody understands unless you've lived it or been in it or been a parent to children that are twins, triplets or so forth. People just don't understand as to why it's such a, quite a damaging thing to say to somebody like all through school it was just like why aren't you why aren't you as academically clever as your brother and I'd be like yeah I'm not my brother yeah everyone expects you to be the same yeah it is so hard because you you try your best not to compare them yeah but then they compare themselves in some respects

and they're constantly competing against each other. And it is really difficult. And we find it really hard because they're really into the sport, all three of them, they're really into sports. And I genuinely think one of the most important things you can do as a teacher and a parent is try and get kids into sports because it just sets them up for life and the benefits physically and you know mental mentally just amazing but it's it's what we've noticed is with the identical boys if the coaches and some parents

don't know the difference between them because obviously we can notice the difference yeah but if you don't take the time you sort of lumber them together yeah and so we find that they can almost be that it can almost be diluted so like one of them can have an absolute stormer of a game at football or rugby whatever it might be and if the other one isn't as good it brings that so like they'll never get accolades individually of i mean they have done insert but compared to other kids they don't tend to stand out because they get lumbered together you know i mean and that and i think that's been quite hard for them and for us to try and you know deal with the fact that like not everyone can see them as individuals can i ask so we had

the option when we went to school as my, the school offered to have us both together or to separate us. So we stayed together until we got to secondary school because then obviously secondary school, you are then put into sets as to how you're performing off of grades. Were the babies all together or did you choose to separate them? Well, the school he went to wasn't big enough to separate them so they've always been in the in the same class but that's that that's the interesting

thing so like we were saying before you know I've got younger brothers like my brother was so different in lots of ways and people often say like you know how are you different when your brothers you had the same parents but you don't because your parents are at different ages when they have you know four years between me and my brother. So my mum and dad, when they had me, they're different people, aren't they? Yeah. Whereas with our three, they've had the same version of you.

Yeah. They've had the exact same teachers all the way through school, but they could not be more different in every aspect of their academic ability, personality. So it is really interesting in a way it sort of gives you a bit of perspective as a teacher to understand that you know children aren't all going to make the same level of progress and it is always going to be you know different for every single child so a completely different journey I just find it so interesting isn't it so insanely fascinating and isn't it funny you saying that the the version of

me as a mum when I had Colby who's nearly eight to the version of me now having Renly yeah who's nearly five months they are worlds apart so Colby and Dottie there's only two years between my first two and then we've got Renly so there's seven years between him and Colby and five between him and Dottie but the version of me today was definitely not the mum i was when i had when i had him and obviously the influence of your older one yeah and how that will mold them you know they'll never get the same exact experience my gap's smaller and even i feel so different parenting a second time than i did a first time they're never going to get the same version of me truly I find it the most fascinating thing in the world honestly we

could talk about this all day should we talk about your book yeah let's talk about your book yeah yeah so I've got uh so this will be the third one I've got the other two in the background I thought they might be your books the way that they're proudly displayed up there and the washing I feel like that's the washing's And the washing. I feel like that's a proper family home that is washing on the line. Good old England. The kids have put that out as well. Have they?

I'm living for these moments when, to be fair, Colby could probably hang the washing out and he'd do a great job. Dot, it'd be a Nexus garden. She'd be like, yeah, she won't miss them pants. So tell us about your book. So yeah, so this book's slightly different. So the first two books,

the first book put a wet paper towel on it. It was very much sort of drawing the curtain back on what happens in school. So everyone went to school. The blue paper towels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Solve any medical issue. The arm's broken, put a paper towel on it.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. And that's the limit of our medical training as teachers, by the way, is just everything can be solved with a wet paper towel. So, yeah, so that first book was very much sort of drawing back the curtain on what life is like at school because everyone remembers, you know, going to school but not necessarily understanding the ins and outs of it the second book was just the sort of extension of that where we were just sharing lots of stories some of our favorites from the podcast but this book's slightly different in that we're trying to

appeal to everyone so it's called how to survive the school year and it's sort of documenting all the key things that happen during a typical year through primary school and just giving people not advice because we're not in a position to give any sort of advice but just give it a heads up as like this is what happens here yeah this is how you can navigate it in the stress-free way as possible um and just sort of giving a few tips but not hopefully not in a very you know patronizing way preachy preachy way yeah it's not the way to do it it's fascinating because sometimes it's really hard obviously you know the difference because you're a teacher so you're in the setting whereas i talk to you about it don't i and it's

really hard because i can only give my own opinion but from from my own experience but it's so hard to speak to somebody about the process of school one every school's different anyway but two like the even the basics it's so hard to alliterate that without being too like suck an egg you know well it's all like a different language to me because i'm not in that school system not yet yet so the things you say to me i'm like i don't even know it's the summer holidays i'm just like do you know what i mean like every day is the same for me. But your life is dictated by these term times and these holiday times and these different processes that your school does.

And I'm going to have to learn all that. What's the thing that throws you off the most? Like what? Can you not get your head around school? It's the dates, honestly. I was driving around the other day and I was like, this journey, like it's only taking me 10 minutes. It normally takes 40 minutes. Because the traffic dies down. Traffic dies down there's no bloody school run I absolutely love it but I can't keep up with like I mean we're going to speak to

you in a minute about your top tips for activities during the school holidays to me I'm like I live for the holidays every day. Every day it's school holidays for me so it's that and then just like different processes like you so for saying recently like her kids had transition day where they had to learn like what teacher they were going to have next year who's going to be in their class like I don't know about any of this stuff yeah I have to say that's so much better than when I was at school though I can't remember those sort of things happening whereas now so much effort's made to sort of make children comfortable yeah yeah and so much more I've noticed now is so much effort's made to sort of ease that. To make children comfortable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so much more I've noticed now is so much more is around supporting children to not just categorise them. Like I can only ever speak from my own personal experience and I think sometimes my own worries I overcompensate to my children in the fact that I'm always like, please talk to me. We're a very open family. We talk a lot about the good the bad the ugly we're very very an open family and we talk so freely about everything that happens and I think I do that because because my mum was busy when we were growing up and also the school didn't know what was

wrong with me they were just like oh she's just the naughty kid in the back let's just shove her in the hallway again because there wasn't just enough aids around there and i love love love now that there is just so much support around we're embracing children that are not different i call them special like i do feel like every child is special and they have their special abilities and i do really love that the school now support that we've got got children that are having too much sensory and they have special time. And we've got children that need a lot of sensory. So we have a special time. And Dottie is five.

So she's very much a girl's girl. Like she loves to go in. She mothers all the children. She's the oldest in her year group. And in her classroom, there's a little boy called Jude. He is nonverbal. He doesn't talk to any children. But he always specifically asks for her when he wants playtime.

And she just takes it like water off a duck's back. She's not bothered. She's like, I had time out today because I played with Jude and Jude chose me. He doesn't choose a child. And if he does choose it, he chooses her because she makes him comfortable. And I really love that. I do really love that we're embracing such different abilities, which is really special now.

Yeah. It is. I mean, it's so much more supportive nowadays and just the awareness of, you know, different sort of special needs children may have and how we try and accommodate that as best we can. And it's hard because the system sort of special needs children may have and how we try and accommodate that as best we can and it's hard because the system sort of works against us in a lot of ways with that but yeah it's so it's so much better you know to support every child nowadays than than what it was

when i was at school you know you didn't just sort of would you go back never bloody would i go back to that hellhole never yeah but it's interesting because I loved school did you do you like school I mean I did I loved school I was really bad starting off like in reception I think I was um I was the I'm the youngest child so I think maybe inadvertently I was maybe babied a bit at home although my my my mum will tell you otherwise I just loved being at home being in my home environment around my family around my mum that tell you otherwise that I just loved being at home being in my home environment around my family around my mum that was very comfortable and nice and so when I had to first go to school to reception I didn't like it for a year I didn't talk about understanding different

needs I didn't have a very nice teacher that was probably part of the reason why I didn't like going but from that moment onwards yeah I absolutely loved it I would go back would you yeah oh I'd love it I think life peaked at primary school. Is that why you end up being a primary school teacher? I think so, yeah. Yeah. Just because if you just think about it, it was just so simple. It never got better than sitting in year six on those wooden benches at the back of the set.

I always got the bubble up my bum. Always got the bubble. No, but when you got promoted from the floor to the benches. Oh, just looking down on the peasants. That was a big deal. Belting out those assembly bangers. Singing Lord of the Dance, yeah. And you were first out of the hall. Oh, yeah.

Privileges. There was only one job in primary school that was better, and that is if you had the prestigious job of controlling the overhead projector in assembly. Oh, yes. If you were in control of moving the lyrical pictures. Is it boring now? now they just have a smart board now they just have a yeah just have a click click a powerpoint and it's just not the same

because that was the closest we came to sort of headlining glastonbury yeah i've got one time to do that and it all just all the cellophane because it was the ones that had the cellophane on it yeah and it just the whole roll just run off and i was just leaving a roll of cello also mortifying if you like put it upside down or back to front, no one could read it. It was a high pressure. Or you'd stand there. I used to stand with my hip on it and I used to put my,

and they'd be like, your finger's on the wall. So my fingers would be like on the screen. I always remember one kid tried to just put two fingers in and then tried to pass it off like it was saying peace. There's always one, isn't there? He was cancelled. He was never given that responsibility. Yeah, that was in the done.

So, yeah, if you ever do want to know when it is holiday time, by the way, the easiest thing to do is just look at flight prices. Yes! That's such a good shout. I thought you were going to say the easiest thing to do is read my book. Well, yeah. What a great plug. And what kind of stuff do you cover on your podcast with your brother

oh so just everything so we get sent stories from teachers um we have like confessions we have some of the funniest things kids will come out and say um yeah also it's just some really of them or are they under well the ones i love the the ones I love is like the innocent misunderstandings kids have. So, you know, when you're trying to teach them something and you ask them a question and they just have the wrong point of reference to it. So like we were doing, we're doing a topic on the weather. Sounds like me to be honest. Yeah, we're talking about seasons. And I said to the class, children, what's your favourite season?

And a child put their hand up and went peri-peri. Stuff like that. Or in Aria, a teacher said to the class, children, does anyone know what a Hindu is? And a child said,

oh, it's when your mum goes out of her mates and gets really drunk. It's a Hindu, isn't it? It's a Hindu. Oh, they're the best best and what I love about primary school as well is we often talk about the difference between

primary and secondary so kids will say the most hurtful insults directly to your face just in secondary they know what they're doing they're venoming what they say whereas primary school children will say the most hurtful insults that cut you to your core, but just with such love and innocence.

Like I was on playground duty. This was a few months ago. It was a lovely day like today. And I'm stood there and this kid's just, this little girl stood behind me laughing hysterically, you know, to the point where they can't breathe. Get the story out.

Yeah. And I sort of turned around and said, what are you laughing at? And she went, my whole body can fit in the shadow of your stomach. And I walked off. Just completely crucified me there on the spot. Like you are, like your stomach, Mr. Parker. And it wasn't late in the afternoon where it's long shadows. This is midday. Your stomach is the size

like you are pregnant with a fully developed seven-year-old child. Savage. Yeah, absolutely savage. But with such love and innocence on the face. It's when they,

my Dottie, she's the highlight of the funny things that she comes out with. Colby's like at an age where he's a little bit more serious, but she'll come out with something and then she'll go i mean no offense by that your skin your skin looks a bit more spotty today but i mean no offense by that i'm just i'm merely just stating the obvious

mommy oh great yeah now i feel like shit yeah wonderful great no offense but you look like shit is she the one in reception, did you say? She is in reception. She's just going to go up to year one. Yeah. The reception teachers, EYFS, they are by far. I have nothing to expect. They deserve an award.

Someone's checking the washing out there. Yeah. Oh, is that one of yours? He's collecting it. Look at that. Oh, what a guy. He's collecting it. He doesn't even know he's on camera either.

Oh, God. they are well trained were you like come in in about 15 minutes and check the washing so that you look like a good child thank you um i do uh there's a bit in the book actually about eyfs and it was a bit we did on on tour about how dealing with eyfs children is like being on a night out with all your best mates who are pissed out of their minds. And you're stone cold sober. And you're trying to keep them. Trying to herd cats. Fucking hell.

Yeah, yeah. The similarities between a drunk adult and a sort of four, five year old, they're just unrivaled. They're just here, there and everywhere. They do a, at hers, we've had throughout the year, like a stay and play. Yeah. I honestly need a stiff drink when i come out i say to him i don't know how you do it

this is this is erratic i don't know you've got ones climbing the table you've got some shouting from the back you've got some singing they're rolling around on the floor someone's screaming from the toilet they need their bum wiped i was like i am overstimulated. Get me out of here. And that's just the staff. Yeah. We had one, one of my EYFS teachers said to me, she said, you won't believe what happened in school, in class before. I said, what?

She went, she turned around and there was a kid stood on a chair with his pants around his ankles, weeing into the sand tray. And then his mate was stood behind him, tickling his ass with a feather duster. And I was like, yeah yeah that was my rugby initiation night at uni I was just going to say

it sounds like a uni initiation not a reception class bloody hell just stag do stag do yeah oh my crumbs oh my god

we live for these though we live for these honestly what would we do without children life would be so insanely boring so boring it would they're the highlight of my life like i can't i couldn't live without them we've had some crazy ones you'll have some good stories though

we've got cracking stories we have got cracking stories but we're going to roll into should we roll into some of your top three holiday tips for the term time yeah i mean i was thinking about this and and and i don't i mean what what works for my kids isn't going to necessarily work for you know what we're doing well i suppose but i think mine are more sort of um tips rather than actual activities to do i mean from a teacher's perspective i can't come on to a podcast like this and not talk about the importance of reading. I think, you know, if you can if you can have a bedtime story as many nights during the week, the impact that can have. Research has shown the biggest single indicator of how successful children will be later on in life. The single biggest indicator is is whether kids read for pleasure

like if you can get your kids reading for pleasure they yeah it the impact and the way it sets them up is just unbelievable gets his books out to play i love that that actually made me feel really good because he loves the book he does get his books out to play colby's just at an age where now he's independently reading so he'll just come and sit on the sofa and he's got his book but dotty is she is a an insanely imaginative little girl who loves to she loves telling stories playing stories she loves imaginary plays so a story to her is is life she absolutely adores it but i love now that she's just at the age where we're doing the is it phonics yeah where she's breaking the words down so she's she's reading the words and renly my littlest he will just he's captivated by her like every word

and she's breaking it down she's like i think you really love my story and you know when they've gone and you're like and you sit there and you're like oh my gosh and he's like this but no i i couldn't i yeah i think that's i couldn't agree more that's wonderful isn't it i love it and i think even like this sounds ridiculous but sadie as well if i'm reading a story to joseph my four month old will like sit and happily listen and obviously she doesn't understand anything that's going on but I'm like I'm getting her I'm getting her into it young I think she loves it I think she will do yeah it's there's something there's something in it so yeah just just better like it's probably one of the I was saying before about heading into the teenage years. That's the one thing I miss. Like we,

they don't want to sort of have that time. We used to have half an hour, 20 minutes and I'd lie on the bed and have them, you know, wrap around me and we'd just be reading a story. And then it's sort of, yeah, sort of petered out once he started secondary school,

but it is so important. Oh don't, I'll cry. I can't, I can't handle it. It's always when they say it's the last you know the last one but you never know you never know when it's the last one you're never too young to start so like all the julia donaldson books are great you know the ones where it's all like in rhyme do i know the ones i can't tell you how many times i've read room on

the brim i think i could do it off by heart. I do actually love Room on the Broom. I actually love them myself. They are great. I love a rhyming book, mate. Me too. Squashing a Squeeze was always my favourite. They finish the end of the, I love it when they finish the end of the sentence.

Yeah, when they know it. Well, that's it. So the point I was going to make then is the musicality of language. So those sort of books, you'll notice that even if your children can't read the words, through that repetition, they learn it and they learn. And there was research down in South Wales that was done, which is this 848. And it's if a four-year-old can recite eight nursery rhymes, not read them, write them, just sing, you know, just say them. eight nursery rhymes not read them write them just sing you know just say them they are pretty much guaranteed to be in your top two groups of readers by the age of eight wow that is fascinating

because it's like musicality of language colby absolutely loved baby bum when he was growing up and he's like top set for his reading yeah he reads phenomenally he reads some of the most craziest things and obviously being severely dyslexic myself i'm like whoa definitely says that yeah yeah 100 we do a lot of nursery rhymes but we need to uh branch out from old mcdonald because he's at the moment he's in the midst of all mcdonald he's absolutely obsessed i've probably sung it thousands of times yeah yeah but we love it so uh so yeah so that would probably be my first tip is just as much as you can. And then the other thing I was going to say is I think the world we live in now

where you're sort of exposed to everyone's sort of goings on and what all of the parents are doing on social media is just not to compare yourself to them. I think it's that temptation. And don't get me wrong i do love social media in lots of lots of ways and i wouldn't be doing what i'm doing now if it wasn't for social media but i also accept there are some negatives and i think my sort of golden rule not i didn't come up with this it's just saying that's been around for ages but one of my and i share it with

my children all the time i have these like golden rules that i share with my kids and one of my, and I share it with my children all the time. I have these like golden rules that I share with my kids. And one of them is comparison is the thief of joy. And I just think if you spend your time, you know, you're scrolling through social media and you see one family on holiday there, you see one family on a day out there. And it's like, you're not, don't compare your life with the highlights of someone else, you know? And we have that tendency to do that don't we we have that you know as fully grown adults where we we we all do it ourselves like we all post the

highlights of our lives on social media yet then fall victim by comparing ourselves to everything we see on social media even though we know most people are lying anyway yeah yeah yeah you think about this a lot yeah because i do social media as well so i do i do i started on tiktok and i'm on instagram as well um before i started doing this and i post very just normal things i try to use my platform to speak about the things that are insanely normal to go through things that happen with our bodies things like hair on your chin and all the things that go on with your body through pregnancy and talking about weight that all these things are irrelevant. But I also talk about the things of just slowing down in the holidays. We are very much enjoying the

free things. We're very much enjoying, we absorb each other in the holidays. So we spend a lot of time at home. We spend a lot of time in the garden, indoors. We do all the activities that are at home that are free and we have very minimal tv time tablet time we play board games so i share my life in the sense of i don't live a big lavish lifestyle and that's really normal i live a very very normal life that how everybody lives it but not everybody wants to show that aspect of their life. And that's the most damaging thing is that it is so normal to just spend five weeks of the six weeks holiday indoors. Not doing much. Yeah. Find the magic in the mundane.

Exactly. Find the magic in the mundane. And I live for that. Yeah. Truly. So couldn't agree with that one more. And have you got any more for us? Well, just linked to that is obviously with with your children, try and limit the amount of screen time,

because I just think as time goes on now, I'm becoming because as much as I absolutely love, like I say, you know, I am where I am doing all this because of social media. I do genuinely think probably the best thing we could do as a society now is ban social media for under 16s i genuinely think yeah scary yeah it's very it is and i want to make it clear by the way i'm saying this is a complete hypocrite because my kids do have smartphones so i'm not i completely understand the sort of pressures we're under as parents because you feel like if your children don't have access to it they're sort of being left out within their friend circle but you know you sit back and if you were to list what are the positives that come from it compared to the

negatives no one would do it right you wouldn't you wouldn't ever choose to give your child a device and access to social media if you look at the negative impacts it can have so i mean it's i completely understand the pressure parents are under but i genuinely think we could get i think if we're still around in 200 250 years we could well look back at this time and just look at utter embarrassment with how we gave this amount of access to such young minds yeah and the negative impact it can have. I will also vouch for that parents need to reduce screen time because it's something of their own. Since doing social media, I was very heavily into it at the start

when the children were little, when I only had the two. And it just dawned on me one day and I was just like, do you know what, I'm such a person that lives in the moment. Like whatever we wake up to do today, whether we do it at nine o'clock, whether we do it at two o'clock, whether we go to the beach at five o'clock for a stroll. I'm very much a person that lives in the moment. But there is so many people and being somebody and like yourself in the social media world, you can take a lot of the opposite side of social media being that you are a content creator to give advice to your children so i feel like you hold a different key to knowing a little bit more about the dangers of it which i also feel like i'm putting over to the children as well like

colby will sit here and tell you and say i don't i don't want social media i don't like it because i've not ever spoken about bad things but i always say that it's just not a very nice place, you know. But there are so many people on social media that are so invested and it consumes people's whole lives. And there's just more to this world. You get one shot, we'll never get back today. We can't relive today. So you only get one shot at this world.

And I just think some people need to just put the phone down and just live. Yeah. Live for the moment. Yeah. And I'm very, like, a lot of my training now is about trying to inform teachers to then hopefully tell parents of, like, how to set time limits and restrictions and things because it's just so, if you, there's a book I'm reading at the minute called The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, I think it's called.

And it's just so interesting, the sort of negative impact social media can have. And he talks about how sort of about 15 years ago, there was almost this moral panic about letting kids go outside and play. You know, like when we were younger, you were just out on your street playing, whereas that doesn't happen as much because there's too many dangers yeah yeah yeah you gotta keep them inside keep them safe but at the same time that coincided

the invention of the smartphone where they've all got access to the most dangerous and appropriate and you know worrying content that most of them are accessing completely unsupervised so you know what i try and do in my kids is they get they get like an hour a day on on certain apps like youtube and tiktok um so that limits and we've we've set that together so we've had the conversation about it and i've talked about why i think i've got to put these in place and talked about what limit do you think would be they tried to push it for a little bit longer but i was like no an hour's enough um you don't have the phones in the bedroom yeah because you know i think uh my sister's my sister's got 15 13 11 and nine and the older three i've got them she just takes

them away before they go to before they go to bed she puts them all on charge downstairs yeah so i do that with my oldest my sister's eldest is 15 she'll bet them if she needs to go she goes through them and she just checks them over and just makes sure that everything's everything's okay because sometimes things can be going on i've you know i was naive in the fact that i never deleted anything never thought my parents would read my phone and they knew everything they knew everything that was going on there was nothing that got past my mum and dad and i just think just having that little bit of knowledge but that's scary because we could only really message like people that we knew whereas like they have the whole world at their fingertips at the touch of a button strangers yeah complete

strangers can can message and i just yeah and i just think there's also a lot of a button. Strangers. Yeah. Complete strangers can message. It's scary. Yeah, and I just think there's also a lot of media on things that happen that are very damaging to our young generation, things that happen that are insanely scary. And ultimately with social media, it's not showing you content that you want. It's showing content you can't look away from sort of thing.

It's engaging, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So my last little tip with that is when I get my kids' phones before they go to bed and I'd make it clear to them, look, I'm going to check through what you've been looking at. But then what I also do is I sort of like hack their algorithms. Tell us how. been looking at but then what i also do is i sort of like hack their algorithms tell us so so i'll go into their like youtube and tick because obviously anything you do on social media type things in feeds the data to then show you content so if you type things in and search things on your

phone you can change your it will show you more of that yeah so what are you like typing in like book titles and stuff stuff like that football skill videos rugby tutorial videos um where they were studying Romeo and Juliet in in school so I hammered that into their algorithms and they were getting loads of content and then I actually did a training session at the kids school and talked about it and the English teacher actually said that was the one unit they all got the best results in. Sneaky, sneaky. Do they know you do that? Oh, they know I do it. Yeah, yeah.

But I think that's what's really important is that, like you were saying, having that open dialogue and, you know, they know because my daughter came down the other day and she was like, you've been putting stuff in again, haven't you? And I was like, what do you mean? because i keep seeing videos about how to tidy my room i was like right yeah i've been found out there yeah that's really clever yeah so i think it's been being really involved in that and you know it's not a case of don't give them access obviously if that was the rule i'd abide by it but if they are going to access it you know play an active role in monitoring

and like you were talking about there just sort of having those open discussions because if you don't i mean i tell you some horror stories of of of things that have happened but you know i think parents need to take that active responsibility of understanding. They've got to keep on top of it. I feel like sometimes now we live in a world where we can't actually shelter them from it because I feel like the more we shelter them from it, the more damaging it is for them. Like if we're not exposing them to those things, I find like it's more damaging to them. So I feel like we talk about it and we're open and we have really honest conversations i know they're only diddy colby especially he's only you know he's only just

about to turn eight but it is something that we do talk about and i just think some talking about things in a free safe environment of the comfort of his own home allows him to ask questions and not be judged for asking questions and then in an environment where he's outside of the home he knows that he's comfortable to talk about those things because we've had that conversation at home you know yeah so i just think starting it young is you know and it's sort of modeling good good choices as well as parents because i think if if and i'm guilty of doing this because obviously a lot of my work comes through my business online so i can sometimes be lost in my phone and it's being conscious of that and sort of modeling good choices to say actually

let's put off you know let's leave our phones go outside you know and uh because all kids what i do up until a certain age is just emulate you as a parent don't know you are like i was saying before one of the the things about being getting being parents of teenagers is for for a period you are like the the hero like the kids just look up to you and then i'm starting to get to an age now where their friends are becoming more influential they don't want to know you anymore I'm already heartbroken about that I was going to say Jesus Christ not that bad they don't hate me that much I still need your dad

well there was a time where I'd get home from work and they'd all sort of run to the door and greet me whereas now it'll be like

oh they sit in their rooms or oh god I've got a dog because the dog's the only one who's happy to see me when I get home

yeah there's a time at which you happy to see me when i get home yeah there's a time at which you've just got to get a puppy yeah yeah i don't know about that crumbs yeah and if anyone's thinking i might get a dog because it might help my kids be more responsible it won't do that no you will be the one who ends up picking up all the because i was like listen kids hi at a lockdown we're like i'll get you a dog but you've got to you know pick the poos off we will dad we will we will promise we'll walk him twice a day

pick all the poo up out of the garden and everything you just have more work to do it works for about six weeks and then they're like no what they do is they stand in it

in the garden and then traipse it around the house yeah just to really rub it in yeah it's really backfired tremendous that one Mr P

thank you for chatting with us and sharing your summer show and tell suggestions and you can hear more of Mr P's sage advice and hilarious teacher moments on his social just search for ICT underscore Mr P on Instagram or TikTok. Let us know how you get on with Mr P's activity suggestions or send in your own. Yep you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with secretmump Pod on TikTok and Instagram. We'll be back for a relaxing Sunday so. And we'll hear more of your messages on Monday.

And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.