Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Baby Name Dilemma

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Soph and Emma go down a baby-name spiral after one listener’s surprise has them thinking twice! There’s also a letter of encouragement for anyone struggling with night-time potty training, plus an update from one listener who took the plunge and moved abroad. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Ha ha ha. In real life. Squeeze yo bits.

Ah ha. Oh, that's a good one. Was it? Uh-huh. Free fucking week. Never gets old done out of clown horn. Maybe for other people. Maybe for us.

Yeah. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Show we jumponi! La La La La La La La La. Do you know that reminds me of, um, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Oh my God, I was on Now TV the other day.

Oh, no, it wasn't. It's on there. It's all on there, the old ones. I'm going to make my kids watch it because I was obsessed with that. I loved it. I'm going to get Dottie to watch that. She's a perfect age. She's perfect.

She's perfect. She's to come home from school and watch that on Nickelodeon. Minister Joan Hart. Or Tim Tom and Tiny, wouldn't it? Tots TV. With the Tots of Tots TV. One, two. Two.

One of them was French, wasn't she? Yes, she was French. No, I was trying to think. It reminds me of some show that I watched. Some kids' TV show. I know what you mean. I can't think of what one it is so. So being a teenage witch was...

Da-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Although the man did scare me when he used to come out of the door. Harvey Kinkle? Yeah. Is that his name? That's her boyfriend. What? Yeah, wasn't it?

It's all coming back to me now. It's all coming back to me. Harvey Kinkle, the guy with the long hair and the glasses. No. He was like the, he was the guy from school. Who came out of the wardrobe? Salem Saberhagen. Fucking hell, Emma.

You don't watch it anything or have any up-to-date relevant information. I have no, there he is. Look how fit. No, the other guy that looks like Hagrid. Where do you think she went to do the magic tricks? He used to teach her. He was her wizard. He was her wizard.

He was her wizard, friend. I have no relevant and update information, but I remember everything from 1998. Yeah, I was going to say, what did you just clock off before the 2000s and not retain? My memory ran out when I was about 12. This is it.

What's his name? Why is he on Pinterest? Drell! Yes! It's all coming back to me now! I sing it. In Sabrina. There you go.

There is he in his wizardry outfit. Anyway, we took a turn. This is a mini, we're four minutes deep. If you're a millennial who watched Sabrina in the teenage witch in the 90s, early 90s, let us know if you know what Safina's talking about. Oh, it is him. Yeah.

It is him. He wasn't in every episode, but geez, let it grow out late. Side character. Don't worry, Emma just clocked out at the 2000s and thought, fuck that. I don't need to know any more things. No. I'm staying in the 90s. No, my brain is full.

Right, it's time for another. Correspondent's Corner! Ah! So, Emma, let's have it. Okay. This comes from Sam in Gloucester. Hello, Sam and Gloucester. She says, Hi, lovely ladies.

I thought I would share my two very different experiences with night training my daughters. My eldest, now 13, was wet at night until she was about 11 years old. We tried everything from restricting water, lifting her in the night to use the toilet, removing the nighttime pants and using absorbable bed sheets, even going to the doctors and having medication. Nothing worked and she became stressed if she did not wear the night time pants. I felt the same shame that other parents who have written in have felt that I had done something wrong and made her dependent on these nighttime pants, especially when she started wanting to go to sleepovers and would get progressively self-conscious about having to wear them. However, suddenly, before

she started senior school, she was dry. I couldn't tell you what happened, but doing some research It's very much dependent on hormones as to whether a child can hold urine in their bladder overnight. Consequently, she then started her period six months after being dry. Oh, wow. My youngest, now 10, has been dry at night since she was two and a half. She did it all herself, refused to wear nighttime pants one night and has only had a handful of accidents since. It's definitely a stressful situation and the mum guilt is so real. I just had to go with whatever made my daughter feel comfortable and what helped us all get a good night's sleep. I am aware that there are occasional circumstances where bedwetting is due to medical issues. But most of the time, it's just being patient for your child to mature. Never change.

Love your loads. Oh, Sam. Isn't that interesting? Can you imagine? You finally come out of night time pants. Now she's back in pads. Well, now she's got to wear pads at night for a period. At least that's only for a month a week a month.

A week of the month. But still. Fuck me. Poor girl. Poor girl. I know. Honestly, being a girl is. Does suck dick.

Sometimes it sucks dick. Well, that's not literally. Sometimes it sucks. It does really suck. But then I do wonder if I would rather be a girl or a boy. I mean, I get the best of both worlds. I still shave my face. So I'm technically everything about the balls.

You get a flavour of it. Balls and willing. Yeah. Yeah. And even that is not confirmed. I don't think I'd rather be a boy. But girls do have it hard sometimes. Like having to have your period when you're growing up and you're like 12 or 13.

That's rough. It's hard, isn't it? It is rough. Oh, and I think Sam's, right, I feel like you just have to follow. And I think there is so much shame, you know, there'll be, you know, unfortunately there's a podcast that went around recently, didn't there, there was a lady speaking on the podcast. I can't remember who it was now, but her, she'd made a flipping comment about children being in school and nappies. Yeah. And I don't know,

either, I've not listened to the whole episode, but the, the video got taken and a lot of people or angry about it because you don't know, you don't know someone's circumstance. But what I find hard is having a flippant comment when you're not a parent. And I think that's the hardest thing. It's that people will make a comment. He maybe don't have children. And they're just like, oh, why would your child be in nappies at school? And it's just really, really wrong.

And sometimes it's those thoughts in your head, isn't it, that you are thinking, but maybe don't project them? And I think that falls short, doesn't it, sometimes? So I think that element is what makes us all. panic is that someone will make a silly comment and then you just go into mum meltdown, don't you? When in fact, you actually know your child best. They're happy.

They're safe. They're loved. It's a lot going on with their bodies. Growing their bodies is so massive. So just give them their time, you know, and everybody's different. At the moment, we're not struggling with Renle's potty training, but he's just not asked. Yeah. He's not asked.

I'm not pushing him. Some days he wears a napi. Some days he doesn't even want to look at a nappy. Some days he wears a nappy, doesn't wear a nappy and has no accidents. And then some days he refuses the nappy but pisses all over the sofa and the floor. So, you know, and he knows where to go to the toilet. But I just think, you know, take it. The least amount of pressure is the best approach.

Yeah, I feel like, yeah, do whatever you think is easiest. And fuck everybody else. It's just that there's an expectation for you to have your child like dry in the night by a at an age. And I feel like for a lot of people... But where is that expectation come from is what I want to know. I think a lot of people do do it in line with daytime. Of course.

Toilet training. Yes. So that tends to be around two to three years old. So I think if they're wearing nighttime pants any time after that, you're a bit like, oh, my child's a bit slow. They're a bit late. But actually, we've heard time and time again on the podcast that like some kids just don't get it until I was like seven, still wet in the bed.

My mom didn't have me in nighttime pants. But poor woman, she got up and like stripped a bed. It was me and my sister. So she could be stripping a bed like four times a night. She should have one late. Your bunk beds just pissing through. Yeah, pissing through. We should have been.

It would have saved us some work. And then I'd get out of my bed into their bed and piss their bed. And so she'd have to wash like five beds in the morning. I'm just not paying myself through it. I understand the importance of potty training. I get that and having them, you know, dry and in pants. And I completely understand that. But I just don't understand when it become like it has to be by this date.

And great. If you're both Colby and Dottie, Colby was the quickest. Within five days, he was dry in the day, dry at night, and he was only just two. Dottie was about two and a half. She was dry during the day, but I think she took about two weeks until she was dry in the night. Renly, that boy pisses like a racer. I've never known anything like that. Did he drink a lot?

Yeah. I would say he's quite well hydrated. Yeah. But he just is not asked. And I just think, do you know what? Fuck it. He'll pick it up when he's. yeah yeah Joseph's shown a bit of resistance to his pull-ups now and I'm like mate you are not ready

like they're waking up he's waking up with it either every now and then there'll be an empty one and I'm like what the hell happened last night because then like the next night it'll be either so full or he'll leak through to his pajamas right so he's obviously doing a lot of or maybe one big way I don't know how much is in there but he was having a drink of water before bed last night he was like I'm thirsty oh I'm thirsty like an Irish person I said me the other day is it thirsty or thirsty. I said thirsty. And then last night he was like, I'm thirsty. He was drinking out a couple of water before bed. And I said, not too much because we don't want your pull up to leak again tonight. Because invariably he waddles into my room at 5am and goes, my nappy's leaked.

So I said, not too much. We don't want your nappies leaked tonight. And he goes, I can easily hold my way. I was thinking, well, your pull up in the morning would suggest otherwise. Slow down. It's just so hard, isn't it? But obviously I'd rather have him out of them. But I'm like, you know what? Just he'll be ready when he's ready. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, thank you, Sam. Thanks for that. That does reassure a lot of mamas and dad is out there

because there is a lot of pressure on there, isn't there? Yeah. Okay, I've got another one here from Libby, who wrote in about moving abroad and feeling guilty for leaving her family and Devin. Shit, I'm really excited about this one. This was ages ago and we had loads of questions. Yes.

Okay, it says, hello again, Sophie and Emma. It's been a few months since I last wrote in about my partner and I taking a big step and moving abroad. Yes. I'm pleased to say, we're now three months in and we couldn't be happier. I listened to your response on the plane to our new home. Gosh.

Imagine we were like, don't do it. She was like, oh, I'm already on my way. I don't think we did tell it. No, I just remember we were just very, very excited for us. Yeah, obviously. And then we're like, fuck their family. No, I'm already. You're listening on the plane, like, oh, right.

Oh, right. Okay. Yo, driver. Spin that shit. Spin it up one time. Dude. Okay. She was on the plane. same. And she said, you both made me feel even more excited and help me remember that no matter

where I am, my family will still always be there for me. We've already had family out to visit, which has made it all feel so real. We've had many nightly FaceTime calls and planning future visits has made it feel so much easier. I was so nervous for this next chapter, but I really feel that if anyone has the opportunity to take a next step in their life, don't turn it down because you never know where it will take you. No matter how young or old you are, I don't think there ever feels like a right time until after you've done it. So why not, just go for it. Thanks again, ladies. Libby from because she didn't tell us where she was going.

No. Cyprus. Oh, God. Imagine living in Cyprus. Oh my God. I wonder what she's doing there. Listen, when you said you're arranging visits.

Yeah. Holl out your girls. We're coming to you live from Libby's house in Cyrus. How about your two best gal pals? It's actually your gal pals. I mean, we did technically, to do it.

So, you really wouldn't be there without her. I'll obviously drive. I won't get up. Yeah, it'll take you a while to get there. I will see you there. Emma's already been in four days. It's about a four hour flight, so it'd be a long drive. Well, it can make shit happen, yeah.

I'll make anything happen to me. Oh, God, I'm so jealous going into this British winter that she's going to be in Cyprus. I'm really excited for Lib's first Christmas. Can you imagine? Why does she's coming back for Christmas or whether she's doing a Cypriot Christmas? Oh, Libby, get in touch on any questions. Let's be pen pals. But I'm so incredibly happy.

Yes. And I think it's right. I think if the, I always believe that anything can life, everyone always says to me, like, how do you stay so positive? How do you stay so happy? I just live today for today. I don't know what tomorrow's going to bring me. It could bring you absolutely anything. But I think that's the beauty of life.

And I think if you can live in the moment and live for, like right now, every hour, on the hour and just live every second as much as you can. can because we just don't know. You don't know how you don't know if you're going to fall pregnant. You don't know how you're going to be as a parent. You don't know if moving house is the right decision. It's always that thing of I'm always want to live by. We tried it and it didn't work rather than questioning what if. I'm not a what if gal. I like to just go balls to the wall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And why not? Why not? We don't get one shot of this. Why the hell not? So they say, but I do feel like I've been in another life. It's a story for another day. But Libby, we're wishing you all the best of luck and keep us posted.

Yeah, thank you. Pem Pous, thank you so much for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And next is time for one of your secrets. Welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Mum Club. And you're all so good at sharing.

So what have you got today, Emma Jones? Okay, this one says, hey, Sophie and Emma. Hello. My husband and I already have three children. Jack, seven, Hugo, six, and Hadley, three. Oh my God, Hadley was one of my baby names. Hugo was the name of Chris's dog. So we could, Hugo was Chris's baby name, but he didn't know he was, you know, we were 27 when we met.

He didn't know he was going to have children. So he called his dog Hugo. But that would have been his baby name. And Hadley was on my list. Hadley is where my parents live. What the hell? Sorry, we got, we got died. Sightragged.

She says, after having Hadley, we thought we were done having kids, but now, and there's 24 weeks pregnant With twin girls Fucking shut up Oh my god They're going from three to five This is absolutely iconic And three boys

Three boys then two girls Twin girls This is wild information Whoa this has taken a real long time For me to engage brain At nearly at the end of your pregnancy Like how the hell are you only just telling us How are you not told us from

When was the pregnancy announcement Eight weeks before you're telling Hello gal pals I feel out of the loop I really feel out of the loop Oh my gosh. She says we're struggling to decide on names. Oh God, so hard.

Sophia and Emma. Hello. Hello. It's hard enough to think of one, let alone two. She says the name Eiler has been one of my favorite baby girl names since I was in my teens, and it's always been at the top of my baby name list. Beautiful. Yeah, I love it too.

My husband loves it just as much as I do, but we've recently noticed how popular Eila has become. That is true. And now I'm second guessing whether to use it or choose something a little more unique, all the best, Izzy. Okay. I'm going to go for Eismie. I'm going to throw Earsie out there. I love Esme. I like, I like Esme rather than Esme.

How would you like differentiate about how it's spelled? Is it the little bit over the ear? The accent. Yeah, the accent over the E. Yeah. But even if I saw it without the accent, I would pronounce it Esme. You'd have to be like all their whole life. I thought, it's Esme, pronounced, you know, it's pronounced Esme.

You could go for ESM-E. That's how I had it with the apostrophe over because my brother's wife, Amy, hers is A-I-M-E with the little dash over. Yes. So I really loved Esmee because we had a relative in our family that passed away and I like to use the family names. And I was going to do ESM-E with the bit over because I feel like you're then going to pronounce the me. Yeah, that makes sense. We've got the top 10 baby girl names.

Oh, shit. Sorry, there's me just going in. Esme's not in it. Oh. Actually, but I have met a couple of babies, Esmys. Or Esme's. Has made the list in for us, hopefully. And Isla is number four on the top 10 most popular baby. girl names. But it's hard if you've liked that since you, like, I've always loved and I was like

sure I was going to call my baby girl Lily. But Lily's actually, oh yeah, it's number two. Lily has become a lovely name, but it's become very, very popular, is she? Yes. Yeah. And I always thought I would use that. But could we just name the, name the twins now. So Jack Hugo Hadley, I'm going to go, Esme. I'm really confident. My other one for Sadie was Betty, which I still really love Betty. I really love Betty. Yeah. Betty or Betsy. So you're on my baby name, Me, Queenie. Queenie was on my baby name. But I don't think you could have one twin called Queenie and the other one, Esme.

Blupefavourites. Queenie and Princess. Oh no. Who's Queen B? Doesn't really go with the vibe, does it? Oh. I mean, I love all, let's do a quick rundown of the top ten. So I do love them all, despite them being popular.

Olivia has been number one for ever, hasn't it? I've got lots of Olivia. Yeah. And Oliver's the most popular boy name, I think, still maybe, or George. Olivia, Lily, Amelia, Aila, Florence, Freya, Poppy, Elsie, Ivy, Isabella. Oh. They're all lovely.

Minds me of that, you won't know the TikTok trend when it goes, Lily. Oh no. If I'd called Sadie Lily, would you have said it like that every time? I just spat on my phone. I really like names like Opal, Esmey, Queenie. I had loads of girls' names. But it is a tough one.

It's really hard. I like the more traditional ones. I love Elsie. My friend's got an album. You could go Esme and Elsie. Do with the same letter? Yes. I'm trying to think judging by where else you've got.

I saw a reel the other day being saying like all these old names are coming back like Maud. Yes. Alma? Alma, I think she was saying this baby name expert. My friend's just had an Alba, which I think is called. I had an extra neighbour called Alma. Did you? Yeah.

My mum had an elderly neighbour called Elsie and she can't get over the fact that baby girls are being named Elsie now. She's like, what? My friend from work just had a Daphne. Oh, Daphne is wonderful. Wonderful. Elba's really nice. Albert, yeah. I really like Brie, B-R-E-E.

Yeah. And I like all the flower girl names as well, like poppy rosy. Yes. Lily, obviously. It's very hard. It's very difficult. If you come back and say you're going with Lily, I'll have to do it. Or what about grandparents?

Like look to your grandparents for inspiration. Yeah, so I got Dotty Violet, haven't I? That was my grandmas. I couldn't use mine because they were Marjorie and Shillie. Sheila and just no offence to any baby Marjories or Sheila's, but I feel like it wasn't really a vibe. Margot's a nice one. Margot's lovely bit again, it has got quite popular. Yeah, yeah. But I do love Margot. Mildred. Yeah. Oh, Mildred. My great-nand was Carrie, which I still really love. Maybe we need an episode just of baby names. I just love hearing people's grandparents' baby names,

because some are like mine, like not cool at all, that on the granddad's we had Alan and Keith. Corn, gone on, Keith. That'd have you had a baby key. But some of them are so beautiful. And I love that they're being named after someone. Yes. It's really nice. Oh, well keep us posted.

And if you want an episode of baby names, email in and let Maz know. Yeah. She'll arrange it. We could talk about it for an hour, I reckon. Well, good luck. Good luck. And how exciting. I'm so jelly.

Oh, twin girlies. Three to five, though, is quite big. It's quite a jump. Let's know how you get on. Let us know how you are doing, truly. We want to know. Yeah. But God bless you, honies.

Oh, thanks, Izzy. Do you have any name suggestions for Izzy? Then please do let us know. You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.