Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Baby Spoon

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

Not long before the ladies are back together in the studio again! Until then, Jen's been back in touch to give us the inside scoop on her magic pumps, there's a huge announcement from one of our listeners and we hear about the next generation of the poo knives in the extra secret of the week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello this is the secret mum club i'm safina and i'm emma and welcome to your thursday's episode and that's sadie and that's sadie who is also happy to be on the thursday making a cameo where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week all your thoughts and questions thoughts and questions sad, take it away. All your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories on my sleep-deprived brain. To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump in or should we just call it fucking quits because I'm shattered?

She's also just busted out of the sling, so I'm just going to get her out. OK. Stefan's left us today to go golf, so that's great. Yeah. We're just solo parenting here. Thanks, husband. I'm not doing much, though.

Emma's just... I'm just observing Emma's solo parenting. I'm just here for moral support. Just watching me flail. Sorry, I've got this. You're doing great. Thank you. Smashing it.

But yeah, should we get into this? Are you set? Boob in place? I am. Thank you. Yes, we're done. So it's time for another Correspondence Corner.

You've only got one week left of that because we are out of here also can't promise the singing is going to be any better in person to be honest so i can i can promise it's gonna be it may not be better it'll be more in sync more in sync but still out of tune that's how we roll would you be my girlfriend so we are set we in place. Sadie is on the boo bay. So Emma, hit us off with number one. All right, this one is from Jen, the mum with the magic pumps. She's back in touch.

She's back. Jen from Canada. She says, so for Emma, to follow up, my pumps are from Mum Cozy. Oh God, I was not ready for this. And my dildo is from Amazon. Where else? Obviously. oh god i was not ready for this and my dildo is from amazon where else obviously so happy you're both well and loving on your babies love from jen p.s soph i have a huge mum crush on you and you're packing lunches tiktok's got me through my pregnancy oh jen Oh, Jen. I don't know. I love you so much,

but I don't know what to think if you buy a dildo off Amazon. So casual as well. Obviously, my dildo is from Amazon. It'll be here by 10 o'clock today, so better get some battery. Wonder if it was prime. Jen, I absolutely love you. God bless.

Oh, thank you for getting back in touch that's made my day and if you don't know what Jen's talking about you've got to go back you've got to go back and yeah listen to the magic pumps episode you won't be disappointed all right I've got another message here it says hi ladies I've been listening to you from day one and I absolutely love your pod so me and my other half have been together for only four months and I just found out I'm pregnant with baby number two for me and baby number four for my partner. Wow. Yeah, that's right. Six all together.

We haven't told anybody yet, but I had to tell someone and I wanted you two to be the first to know. From Anonymous. Oh my God. from anonymous oh my god imagine she was like from and then like all the details and her friends and family were like what the fuck what the fuck oh my god congratulations that's you congratulations four months but then i you know i say here here sister i was four months with christopher and we fell pregnant with colby oh was it we are yeah it was, sister. I was four months with Christopher and we fell pregnant with Colby. Oh, was it? And here we are. Yeah, I was four. We were only together four months and I fell pregnant with Colby.

And look at you now. Actually, technically it was three months. And we are 10 years this May. And three kids deep. Three kids deep and no willy deep. Yeah. And no itchy legs. No more.

No more of the dick. No. That is huge. That's huge. Congratulations. Six babies as well that's phenomenal i am slight i am a little bit at the point where dare i say i'm a little slightly bit jealous of the the big fans me too i love the big fans and it honestly it's given me all the feels like and i just said to chris we could just keep going with this whole baby malarkey yeah we could just keep going why not have six babiesarkey. Yeah. We could just keep going. Why not have six babies?

Now that I'm in the newborn phase, I'm like, no fucking way am I doing this again. But I just know that when she gets older, I'm going to be like, I really want another baby. Do you know who I've been looking at a lot on social media? Oh, tell me. It's the Beckhams. Because Victoria Beckham, did you see she had her 50th birthday party? Why is she so fucking beautiful? So fair.

And honestly, the choreography, the Spice Girls video choreography of them doing Stop absolutely made my life. But all the videos, all the pictures of the Beckham family together, I'm just always like, oh my God, absolute goals. And now they've got partners.

So like Romeo and Brooklyn. Brooklyn's married, isn't he? Yeah. He's married.'t yeah he's married yeah um but to see like her now her little family is branching out and like they're getting bigger and like you can now like envision like the grandchildren and stuff and it oh I know I just think that looks like so much fun like four grown-up kids like what a vibe but also I don't think I want to have four babies like I just I just, the older my sister's children get, I just, an utter awe of my sister,

just how stunning, like, her family is. Just like, there's six of them. And now I'm just a bit like, maybe I don't want to be an odd number. Maybe I want to have... It would have to be a turkey baster because generally I don't want to have sex. I don't want to have sex.

I don't want to touch the willy, look at the willy yeah be around the willy i just want the baby but you know i think as well and dotty will tell you she's like it's just because he's a good baby mum and i'm like what if we have another baby she's like that one might cry though yeah you never get two good ones in a row you know don't don't i know that thank you so much for your messages we're going to um just pop off here now and go look for some mum cozy and jump onto amazon if you have any comments thoughts or funny stories why not get in touch yeah you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or we're secretmumpod on tiktok and instagram and next it's time for one of your secrets

we love a secret on the secret mum club yeah and you're all so good at sharing so what have we got today emma this one comes from another another Jen she says hello I've just finished listening to the foo-foo sideburns episode and remembered my own postpartum poo situation that I shoved way to the back of my memory after having my first baby a boy eight pounds 4.1 ounces oh wow I was torn apart front back and sideways requiring several sets of stitches hold on because i i need to i'm not laughing at the fact that you're torn back to front i was laughing at the fact that i can't see what emma's reading but it was the fact that you said when the foo-foo sideburns the poo situation and then i shoved it and i was i was in on the shoved poo somewhere, to be honest.

So I just need to recompose myself. Figuratively, not literally shoving poo. Shoving poo anywhere. Yeah. She's not you shoving the glow sticks down the toilet. Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about your stitches, but we shall carry on. So she says it made pooing excruciating. I was taking laxatives

regularly but could only manage a tiny rabbit turd each time that ripped my stitches ah i felt like there was a blockage stopping the softer stool from coming out so what did i do i searched through the i searched through the kitchen for something to help me pry out the solid poo ball and by some sort of miracle i found a silicon baby spoon. Oh God. I lubricated it with petroleum jelly and inserted it up my bum hole. Oh, Jen, with tears rolling down my face and my vagina in agony, I managed to break up the poop inside of me like an internal poo knife.

Relieved, I threw the spoon out. I never told anyone. I threw the spoon out, yeah. Thank God. I've since learned that if you have a stuck poo, you can gently press on the wall of your vagina to help ease the poo out. No need for a baby spoon.

Love, Jen in Vermont, USA. Oh my God. Why is it something that I would do? This is, this has got you read all over it. Do you know, there's been times where I've thought I'm never going to get this. There's been times I've honestly sat in the toilet and thought I'm going to

fucking die here. I'm going to die and I'm never going to get this shit out. And I'm going to be stuck. Or I just think, well, if this shit never comes out, I'm just going to be backed up with loads of shit all the time. And I honestly think,

maybe I could just shove something up my bum to break it up. Do you know, this is what happened. This is what happened to Joseph. You know the story a few months back of the giant turd that fell out of my son. That's exactly what happened. I didn't, sorry, explain i i didn't put a spoon up

his bum but this is common with constipation i think it's called i might have the word wrong but it's called i think it might be called disimpaction and it's when like little softer bits of poo like go around it they go around the the block the blockage that's blocking the way and so you need something to just you know help that solid baby spoon bit of turd out and for jen it was a for joseph it was laxatives for jen it was a silicon baby spoon genius what an absolute genius i i would have just kept the spoon i would have kept the spoon just in case you know you never know when you're gonna need that spoon not to eat with crumbs just not to feed a baby with jesus christ dish lodge your poo pellet ah well done jen i'm

glad you got it sorted that was an amazing secret would you give the poo spoon a go let us know you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or we're secretmumpod on tiktok and instagram and we'll be back first thing on monday and we'll have more of your messages on our next thursday episode and we'll see you next time on the secret mum girl Secret Momco! Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45-minute tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push. Find your power.

Peloton. Visit onepeloton.ca.