Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Bath Time Disaster

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Emma shares the chaos of solo parenting while battling a nasty sickness bug, which leads to a very unfortunate bath time disaster. Meanwhile, Soph is deep in preparations for Renley’s Peppa Pig birthday party. Plus, one listener gets called into nursery after her toddler accidentally teaches the class a very suspect new word. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wait, hold on. I need your attention because we have some huge news. It's big. Bigger than my bucket crutch. And that's big. Even bigger than Jojo's love for teenage mutant ninja turtles. Well, you've been asking for it, so we're going to be heading back on the stage for another secret mom club live show. There's going to be plenty of secrets. Perhaps a couple of party games.

And maybe a few surprise guests. So mark your calendars because on the 20th of May, we'll be live at Bush Hall in London for one girly night only. So you better buckle up, bitches. Tickets are on sale right now. So head to our socials for more info and the link to buy tickets. We can't wait to see you there. Now, back to the episode. Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club.

I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And this podcast, what? Every time. Every time. It's looking into the camera, isn't it? After a glass of Prosecco as well. And let me tell you, this is not easy.

This is, it may look really easy, but it's mad, honey's I've got an itchy nose now. Right, this podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do, and as we know, sharing is caring. And you don't even have to tell us who you are. You can keep that to yourself. You can be anonymous.

And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mom Club. We should probably reference what we've got all this. It's our third birth. Yeah, if you're not watching this on video, it's our third birthday. Emma's calling it an anniversary, I'm calling it a birthday. Yeah, well... I feel like anniversary makes us sound to us too grown up.

Like we're married. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm not married. I'm single. No, I'm not single. She's single, I'm ready to mingle. We've got three balloons and prosceco and some cakes. We have had a cake, although Emma's not eating a cake because she's actually vomited this week.

But she's happily sipping away on her proscen. Yeah, before all you come for me, you pregnancy speculators, I'm drinking alcohol. I think it's zero, Emma. But I've been... It's not. She's not pregnant. I have been so sick this week. What the hell are you going on with you?

It just came out of nowhere. Honestly, hit me like an absolute truck. You're not a vomiter though. Are you a vomiting? Not really at all. No. So that's when I'm like, that's when you know it's bad. So I've done a whole week of solo parenting.

Stefan had been away working. Finally gets back on Friday afternoon. And I'm like, this is our time to like celebrate, you know, let loose, have a glass of wine. I'm not the one solely in charge of the kids. Yes. Got some nice pizzas in. It's going to have like a nice little treat for tea.

And then at like tea time with the kids, I was like, oh, feel a bit like woozy. Got through bath time. Thank God, Stefan, was there. Because if it had happened when I was on my own. There's nothing worse than vomiting around children. Do you know, there was a time that I remember that Colby put his hand in my vomit. No. When I was pregnant with Dotty and he just kept, I was like vomiting in the toilet,

trying to hold my hair back. And he was just shoving his hand in my vomit. I was like, oh, were you really sick with Dottie? Only like for, there was a spout where I was sick with. She was the only one I was sick with. She was only one. I got nauseous with the boys. But Dottie, I vomited.

But once I vomited, I was great. Yeah. I think I'd rather just vomit. And get it out. And get it out. Yeah. And get it out. Yeah.

Trigger warnings to people who were triggered by sick talk. Yeah. Sorry. We should have maybe said that before. Because I know that really bothers some people. But yeah, I like, if I had to do it on my own, I mean, to people out there that are doing it, when you're feeling rough and like, just, just. Just like you just can't really get through the motions.

I managed to get free bath time. Got the kids down. Obviously, Stefan was there as well. And I was like, oh, I think I'm just going to have to like sit down for a minute. And then by 8pm, bam, it's coming out of both ends. Wow. You went DV. Yeah, all night as well.

So you know when your sleep's disrupted. Because every couple of hours you're like waking up to either or, you know. So I was sick a good few times. And you know, when you just feel then really like, it was only over like a 12-hour period. Did you eat? I can't trace it back to anything that I ate. Because Stefan would have had the same. same? Well, we hadn't been together a week. No, because he was away. But I hadn't eaten

anything like... Do you eat the same as the babies? Yeah. I can't think of anything that I ate. I maybe went a bit too ham and pancake day. Maybe. I did eat some two-day old batter that was saved in the fridge. So maybe that. But that wouldn't have... Did you give that to the babies? No. Was there an egg in that? Only me. Refrigerated egg though. Like... Yeah, but it's cracked. It's out of the shell. Yeah. Isn't that so many? I had it on Tuesday and and Thursday. And then I was sick on Friday. So it was easy. So it's easy. So it's easy. It's It was either, my dodgy pancake batter. I'm going to say, maybe.

Or just the bug. And the babies didn't have the dodgy pancake batter. No. Just you. Yeah. Okay. Do you think that was it? I didn't think you could eat an egg that's been out of the shell after 24 hours.

After it's been in the fridge? Not cooked, raw. I don't know. I feel like I've done that before and been fine, but maybe my body was low. Did the batter go in the fridge? Yeah. Oh. I don't know.

I don't know. Anyway, we know it's bad because Emma's not eating the cakes. Yes. We've got cakes for our anniversary, birthday. and she's not eating. I know. I was like, I'm really being careful at the moment

because it kind of took me a while to like, it took me a while to fancy food again. You know, when you're just like, I couldn't really look at anything. I was just a bit like, ugh.

And so I'm like, oh, I'm laying off the cakes today which is really unusual for me because I thought such sweet tooth. But I'm like, but still on the proselyleckos. Still on that way.

I'm really taking it easy, but I'm just, you know, main lining alcohol. I'm whine that up to see if I can get another one in. There's half a bottle there, honey. Treat yourself.

Treat yourself. You know, the day after you've been throwing up all night, you just feel so, like, depleted. Drained. Drained. Drained. I had no energy. And Joseph's at an age where he's like, he understands. I was like, mommy's sick.

I can't, like, I can't give you much. But he's like, play, play, play, play with me. And I'm like, I really, I was like, does everyone want to watch a film today? Can we blanket a movie? He's really going through a phase where I can't just like get a movie past him. He's like, no, I want to play. I want to do this, which is great. But it's all like, it's a lot of brainpower, a lot of imagination, a lot of roleplay,

a lot of moving around the house with cars. I actually don't remember the last time I was sick, you know. I couldn't remember before that. I think when I was pregnant and I came here and had that dodgy chicken sandwich. Do you remember that? Yeah, you never ate at that place again, did you? It was rough. Maz was actually trying to recommend it to me the other day.

And I was like, you know, that's the place where I got food poisoning, isn't it? I think it might be in the pregnancy, though, wasn't it? Because everybody eats there. No, it was a chicken sandwich that had been out too long, I think. But then I was pregnant as well. And I was getting up and working an early shift. I mean, that was a rough one. That was a rough one.

But just generally, having sickness when you've got small children to look after is no joke. And Sadie's too little to understand. So she's climbing all over me and I'm like, oh, please, please, please, honey. Mommy's got nothing left to give. So did he go to the rugby? He did go in the end because I just think they had tickets and also him and his dad don't get to do much together. And it was just such nice, you know, father-son time for them. But they did, the caveat was, I was like, you got to take the kids out in the morning. So I've got a couple of hours to recuperate. So he did take them out and I have a couple of hours on my own, just laid on the sofa and didn't do much. And burned some energy. Did they chill them for the afternoon? They were right. Yeah, they weren't too bad. Joseph kind of gets it now. He's old enough for me to be like, I can't really do that. And he's kind of like, okay. But obviously, Sadie doesn't really understand. But yeah, there's just nothing, it's just nothing worse, is there. And then I felt like, you know, once you get over it, you're suddenly like, oh, full of the joys of spring. And then the sun came out. The sun is shining today. It's literally, I'm not even exaggerating when I say. I bought the sun indoors today. You look like actual sunshine. I bought, tried to bring it in. The light in my house looks different because it's the first time the sun has shone since November. It's wild, isn't it? It's totally making me feel like... I tell you what I see. I see fingerprints all over my glass doors and I nearly had a fucking panic attack.

I am a bit like, oh, this is so lovely. This light is like making me feel great. And then I'm like, and the dust, the dust and the frown and the fingerprints. I'm going to have to clean my house more in summer. But it's like living in a different house. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you. I feel like I'm in a different place both physically and mentally. Like, it's just lifting my spirits.

It's honestly rained. It could be the first summer in the new house. But it's rained for like months. Honestly, relentless. It feels like years. It feels like years. I said this morning that I think I could deal with as long as it was, it could be bolted cold, but as long as the sun is out.

I'm not asking every day, every other day, every other two days, you know. As long as the sun is shining on my skin. Yeah. I think we could all get through it. Yeah. It's the grey, rainy, gloomy, don't. Shit. Also, do you know what I thought the other day?

If we don't change the clocks, right, would it not get as dark so quick? Why do we have to change the clocks? I think we talk about this twice a year. I get so confused about the clock change. Why do we have to do it? Why are we still doing it? I don't know. Because at the moment, I'm quite liking the time that it gets dark.

And also, you notice it's lighter in the mornings now. Yes. When I come downstairs, it's light. But you do know there's going to be a point when it's 10pm and it's still going to be fucking light. Yeah. Why do we have to, what I can't grasp is why we have to change. Why we're still doing this?

Yeah, because I think if we just gave ourselves that extra hour, two, three p.m. Yeah. And just, you know, shifted it back. Yeah. It used to be for farming, didn't it. It wouldn't be so, yeah, wouldn't be so doom and gloom, I don't think. I kind of like where it's at the moment. Like, I do like it to get dark in the evening.

But it's getting dark now at like six. Have you got blackout lines for the babies? Yeah. Yeah, but it's just easier when like it gets dark. They're like, okay, it's bedtime. Whereas like in the summer, Joseph would be like, it's middle of the day. Why am I going to bed at like nine? And you're like, no, honey.

I'm like, no, it's night time. Let me tell you about daylight saving. Sit down. Let me talk to you about crime and daylight saving hour. Just want to talk to you about ancient farming rules. I want to talk on top of prison. Buckle up. Why we're at it.

You can be a farmer or in prison. You choose. Whatever. Either way, just go to fucking bed. How's your week been? It's been a bit of a shitter for me, literally. Yeah. I've had a riot of a week.

Yeah. That Bresca's gone to me, Ed. I was going to say. Woo! Sounds like it. On party planning. Yeah. Party planning for Little Mr. Renner's.

Because this will be going out quite near his birthday. This will be over the period of his birthday. This episode will go out. So right now when you're listening, his birthday would have happened. But at the moment, I'm planning. We're like a couple of weeks away, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah.

Two weeks. Just over two weeks for him to turn two. How you feel him? Oh, shit. Yeah. I'm not ready for it. Where the fuck has two years gone? I know.

Two whole whole. years. And not just that. He starts preschool in April. That's big. That's, Emma, that's huge jelly. Yeah, I know. I go to pick up his uniform soon. What is that? He's actually fully going, fully going to preschool. He's going to be two. We're doing the potty training at the moment. Are you? Mustard a wee wee. Mustard. Curnal in the kitchen with mustard. Dirty bastard. You punished a wee wee on the potty? We're not potty and we're toilet. Straight up toilet. Okay, that's good. Because the only problem is

is what I found with the potty with when potty training Colby, I think it was more so maybe Dotty but when I was potty training with Colbs because I used to put him on the potty he then had a massive fear of a toilet. Yeah. So when we go to a public area

he wouldn't pee on a big, ginormous toilet. So when it come round to potty training and Dotty, fuck the potty, I went straight to the big toilet. She's got, she had no worries, could take her anywhere, she peed anywhere.

Obviously then Colby was in a state of having a stand. stand up wee wherever we were. So no, we've just gone straight in with a little step and a seat over the toilet. We can do a wee. We've not quite mastered the poo. No.

But that's okay. I'll take a wee, you know? Guess you did a poo in the potty this week? Sadie. Not the child you're going to think. Sadie. Joseph. He had a poo in the potty.

I had all his cousins in everyone around last night and Stefan's mom and dad and everything. And his cousin came to me. He was like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, on the toilet. That's good. And he was like, not on the toilet. He's in the living room with the potty.

I went in there. I was like, Joseph, what are you doing? In front of everyone. He didn't want to stop playing his game. So he just dragged the potty out, which is still in our downstairs toilet, because I'm saving it for when Sadie's ready. Just laying one out in the middle of the living room. I was like, you don't need to do this anymore.

You know how to use the toilet. And also, the ironic thing was the downstairs toilet is about three footsteps away. He was like, I didn't want to finish playing my game. I was like, I've had it with cleaning potty's now. I was like, you know how to use a toilet. I was like, get up, get in the toilet. Everyone's like, it stinks in it. I was like, yeah, I know.

I just curled one out in the middle of the living room because he didn't want to stop playing. What the hell? What a guy. Can you imagine? Can you imagine you and me just curling one out in the middle of the lounge? You don't want to miss out on the fun. I've got phone modes.

I'm just going to go for a shit in front of everyone. Any chance you could just wipe while I carry on. I made him stand up. I was like, it was a massive poo. Touch your toes on wiping your bum in front of everyone. No, I was like, walk over here with poo. in between your bum cheeks right now and getting that toilet

because I was like no one else needs to suffer this for longer than is necessary What a guy What a, to be fair to him I'd sit in the lounge if I could Would you? Yeah, I wouldn't want to move

You wouldn't want to stop watching your favourite show Yeah, but I'm in the middle of a good series I don't want to move Just shit Just get like a commode That's a grown up Grown up toilet No

But no So if we're a few years off that come on I know But no I've been party planning So what are the plans Potty and party at the moment You're going to centre parks with me No

No. But also you're not there the week we would go. It's a bit late. It's the week later, isn't it? You're a week later than me. No, not at centre park. Because we're going to do a party. Yeah.

We're doing a pepper pig party. At the house. At the house. Yeah. So I'm going to get a gazibo. Gazebo. Gazebo. Yeah.

Gazebo. Gazebo. Yeah. In the garden. I think, and we're going to get all of his, because we're going to buy him a trampoline because he really loves jumping. Like the full size ones? The big one so that the other two can go on it.

Yeah. And I think we're going to do a garden party. and praying for the sunshine holds out. What's it normally like 9th of March? Well, normally Eden's the 31st of March, isn't she, my eldest niece? So by the time the sun starts to come, I then am prepared. I'm like, oh, it's her birthday, 31st mark. Yeah.

So now I'm like, oh, was it sunny when I had renters? No. But when we were in the hospital, I used to put him in the sunshine. Oh, God. I was put him in the sunshine because he had such bad jaunders. I used to put him in the sunshine. And the first day that he got to put an outfit on and I could have him out for a whole hour

I put him in his clothes, had him out for a whole hour and I just sat in the window of the hospital with him and it was beautiful, it was beautiful all day. And then the next day we got discharged and the midwives all said to me it was that sunshine. It's that last bit of vitamin D. I can't remember what it was like. Was it a good march that year?

It was nice when we were leaving the hospital so I want to say the week after. But I've got high hopes. I've got high hopes. We're having a garden party. It's a muddy puddle, so I'm not too bothered if everyone gets a bit muddy. Yeah. I've got some little table decks and then we're going to do a big family day at Pepper Pick World.

Oh, of course. Yeah. Yeah. What else? What else? The boy that loves Pepper Pig and it's round the corner. I mean, it literally can be more perfect. Were you like, I really think you should get into Pepper Pig?

No. No. No. I'd love to say I did. But no, he just absolutely loves it. And there's only 20 minutes from home. Great. And we get everybody down there for the day.

So no. Yeah, I'm really, really excited. You're having a pepper pig cake? I bought him one from Astor from, so I bought it yesterday from Asda. It's got just pepper pigs on it. So it's got Evie on it now, Evie George and Pepper, which I think is so cute. My children refuse to acknowledge that Evie's been born. They still think Evie is George.

Reddust quite likes Evie. Oh, does it? He quite likes her, yeah, he likes her little duck. Yeah. Because she's always got a little place name. So I've got Muddy Puddle sandwiches, which obviously will be chocolate spread sandwiches. We've got Peppers dress, which is strawberries. So we've got lots of little tag.

You're so creative. I just love doing them. Yeah. You're really good. Should be party planner? Yeah, maybe. But maybe there's not as much joy in doing it for other people. It's like a wedding planner, do you know?

I don't know. I feel like that. Like when you watch like, what's that film? There's a film where she's a wedding planner. The wedding planner? Oh, yeah, maybe that one. Sorry about that. It looks really exciting, doesn't it?

I do a film for one? Do you know Devil wears Prada? Yeah. I love, like, I'd love to be. like an intern like she did. Yeah. But I think they make it look really glamorous. I think in real life it's probably sad greed.

I don't know. I feel like jobs in America are way cooler. Well, are they? Or is it just Hollywood? It's just glamourized. Like in real life you're making tea for free. Yeah, I'll do that. There's nothing wrong with that.

I'd love to do that. That's wrong with that. It'd be phenomenal. But yes, so it's all a bit go, go, go, go on, in our house. I've cleaned the fridge out, ready for the party. Clean the fridge out. Got some organising trays in there.

I've organised all the cupboard so everything looks clean when everyone opens me cupboards. Oh my god, you're so good. I've tidied up the garden. So now all I really need to do is balloons. Yeah. Which I haven't really asked anybody to do then. I feel like I've left that too late. I might have to just go get some helium. You can DIY like a balloon are, just quite easy. Helium jobies. Yeah. Get one of these. Get one of the big number twos. I'm going to get always get a number two. Always get a number two. Always. I know I felt bad we didn't have a four for for Joseph's party. We actually went to the other little boys party before. And he had a four. You shouldn't he had four. And I wanted to be like, yeah, yeah, thanks for having us.

like, what are you doing that for balloon when this is all done? Because I could really do with that. But I thought some people would like to take them home and let them deflate, don't they? So I didn't say anything. What a sucker. Yeah. I should have. Should have would have.

Well, that's exciting. I know last year we had a garden party for Sadie's and it was really mild and dry. So I'm hoping. I know she's bit late in the month. Last year we weren't we? And it was beautiful. Yeah, it was really nice last year. Yeah.

But then last year's weather was elite, wasn't it? The whole year was banging. Immaculate. Yeah. I feel like that's not going to repeat again. No. 20, what was it? 2025.

Yeah. Oh my God, what a year. What a year. What a year. What a year. What a year. But there we go. It's two opposite ends of the spectrum this week for us.

Yeah, you're on a high and I'm very low with my head in the toilet. Low, low, low. So Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us. Respond to what we've been talking about or just say, hello. You can find us on TikTok and Instagram.

Just search Secret Mum Pod. or you can email us hello at secret mumpod.com. It's time for the correspondence corner. Hello, Syph and Emma. Hello. I just wanted to write and say thank you for the podcast. Thank you for listening. God bless you.

I moved to the UK from Saudi Arabia four years ago to start my PhD. Wow. Bringing my husband and our three children ages 13, four and two. Moving countries with young children while starting a doctor, it was a huge transition. Yeah. And at times, everything felt unfamiliar and overwhelming. Your podcast genuinely helped me understand British culture and the community around me in a way that felt warm and human.

It made everything feel less intimidating and much more relatable. Listening to you often made me feel more settled here. I think I'm going to cry. Are you? That's really sweet. That's amazing, thank you. My eldest has now started her A levels and may even go to university here. The other two are in primary school.

Looking back at photos from when we first arrived always makes me cry. Time has passed so quickly. We've made so many friends and the mum community. here is wonderful. I also wanted to ask if you have any advice about bedwetting. My seven-year-old is really struggling at the moment. We're washing sheets almost every night and sometimes she has two accidents in one night. I'm trying to stay calm and supportive but I'm honestly exhausted. Any experience or hacks would be so appreciated. Thank you again for what you do. It has meant more to me than you probably realise warmly. Hanan. That is honestly the most beautiful

message. That's so lovely. Thank you. That is absolutely wonderful, isn't it? Oh my God. How incredibly kind. And what a huge move? I did at one point think, gosh, we're giving advice out. And this lady's come over here with her beautiful family. And she's listened to you and me. I thought for a second, oh gosh. What a shock to the system.

What a shock to the system. She probably thought, where am I? Yeah. And who are these heathens? That is so beautifully, beautifully worded. No, that's lovely. And I'm so glad you found a wonderful community in the mum's here. And you've settled all so beautifully.

Yeah. That's so nice, isn't it? I can't imagine. for a second how scary that is. Bringing a whole family over. And then this is what I was saying in one of the last episodes as well. People that have got a whole family and they're like, oh, I'm just doing a university placement.

Just doing a PhD. Just doing a PhD. Don't even worry about it. Moving country, doing a PhD, raising a family. Come on. What a superwoman. Bedwetting. Yes.

Have you been there? Not really, no. No, we went through a little bit with Dottie, but not so much. But I did, and again, it's personal preference as to how you feel because I don't know obviously only from what Hanan's told us based on that information is that little lady is seven she's going into a very big transition in life so there's a lot of things I think as parents I think we just go oh my gosh they've wet the bed when actually there's a lot more going on inside things may be maybe troubling her worrying her there may be

things that are happening at school she may just be burning so much energy she goes into such a deep sleep. So I personally, if it was me personally, I don't think I would be too worried because I think the moment they start wetting the bed, they then get really, really stressed and embarrassed that they're wetting the bed. And then it can kind of spiral into a real damaging situation.

So I personally, when Dottie was going through a phase of, which only was really a couple of months she went through it. She was five to six. So it was early six, late five in that sort of bracket. And I just got a pull-up pad. Pull-ups. I was going to say, would you just put some pull-ups on? And the Ninja, Pampas Ninja, also do them with lovely colourful patterns on that actually do.

They feel like a nappy, but they are, they look more discreet like a pant. And I used to just pop one on at Dottie at nighttime to the point where she would then wake up and her bed was dry and the nappy was dry. And she was like, I didn't wet the bed tonight. But she used to put them on herself and just say, just in case. And I think that eased her mind a little bit more. We were more conscious of her having a wee before bed. Drinking. Making sure that she didn't have too much to drink so she only had a drink

or a little sip of a drink before she went to bed. So it was more monitoring that. But I think it was more for Dottie was the fact that she kept wetting herself. And then she kept going, oh my God, I'm just going to go to bed and then I'm going to wet myself. And I think because she went to bed thinking she was going to do it. She almost talked herself into it. I kind of. That's how I, that's only how I perceived it.

So once I gave her the pants and she then was having dry eyes, we then got through it pretty quickly. Obviously, I don't know how your little lady will take to that. But that's always... I don't think seven is that old. Like me and my sister wet the bed until we were six or seven. Tobias, I think, was a later one. Tobias really, really struggled.

What's the hormone? People say, like, some kids just don't have the hormone. And its children in the same family can be different. Like my oldest sister, famously, my mum says, dry from like two. No napies at night, like cold turkey, nothing. And me and my other sister, we were like this until we were like six or seven.

And we always had, my mum always did like a layer, two layers of bed sheets. So it'd be like the normal layer. And then another plastic sheet, another layer of sheets. So she was used to routinely getting up in the night, coming in, whipping off the first layer that she'd done, put us back into bed. Then we'd probably wet through the next layer.

Then at that point we'd have to like get into their bed. And then I'd probably wee in their bed as well. But I think some children just don't have that. It's until they get that. Also, they don't really worry. And I don't know if anybody's listening in this realm. But doctors won't actually do anything until they're like, I think between the ages of eight and ten. Yeah.

They won't do anything. They won't treat them. I don't think it's a concern. But obviously it's more for their self-esteem, I would say. And it's so exhausting as a parent to have to get up and like be changing sheets in the middle of the night and have, and like, if she's doing it twice a night, like, that that is hard. And you've put younger children as well. So I think pull-ups are a really good idea if she's open to it.

Yeah, yeah. And I think buying ones that have maybe a little design on them or something that makes it. And you can get really like Disney ones and stuff, can't you? Yeah. Make them more up for it. Yeah. And I think once they then get past that and you actually wake up with a dry nappy, I think, no, I don't want to even call it a nappy because it wasn't, it was never,

a, Dotty never wore a nappy. It was just more of a, pants. Yeah. Well, that's all we ever called them was a night pant. Yeah. We better put our night pants on and she would put them on and not, no, none the wiser really. Yeah. It was just the fact that she'd be excited when she'd like, I didn't wear you my night pants.

Yeah. And it gives you a peace of mind that you're going to sleep through the whole night as well. Yeah. I think temporarily. But again, if anybody's going through it or has any tips or hints, anything that we can share on, that would be absolutely wonderful. Yeah. Thank you so much. That's such a beautiful message, isn't it?

So lovely. Thank you, Hanan. Thank you. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah. It can be serious or silly and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before. And remember,

We're all in this together. And we know that we are. We're all stars and we see that. That's our best one for a while. Honey, it's only taking us three years to perfect it. And a bottle of Prosecco. Yeah, honey. Right.

Secret of the week isn't me this week. I'm sharing the baton. It's me again. I feel like he keeps sharing the baton. Yeah. Sharing it over to you. Sharing the load. There's a lot going on, isn't it?

There is a lot going on. And I don't have no secrets to share. What I do, but some of them are so dark. I can't know. I'm getting. You couldn't possibly say. I've got a little one this week. And I feel like it's something that a lot of people will be able to relate to.

Oh. I, as I mentioned, have been solo parenting quite a lot because Stefan's been working away. Yes. He works away anyway. But like, this looks really serious. You've crossed your arms and everything. It's probably not one where I'm going to cry this week. Don't worry.

Okay. I think we've done enough of our crying for the last few hours. No, so I've been doing like bedtime on my own and stuff, which is fine. But obviously like when you're juggling two small children, it can get a little bit difficult. So you have to kind of like juggle where you can and be like, often Sadie needs to go down a bit earlier than Joseph. Like she'll be getting really tired and ratty, but he can last for a bit longer. So I'm just trying to like balance. Find a good balance. You know, balance that out at the moment.

But this week I did leave Joseph in a pooey bath. Stunning. Was it his poo? No. Oh, your poo? No. I thought you'd had diarrhea and just pooed in the bath. Leave him in there.

Desperate times. No, it was Sadie's poo. And bless him, I didn't know, obviously, that she had done a poo. But she's gone through a little phase of like doing a couple of poos in the bath. Must be the warm water. I think it gets her going. She's normally a more. morning poo. So I'm not expecting it to come at like seven o'clock at night.

No. You know, if she's had a big dinner or whatever, a girl needs to clear out before bed. Yeah. Fair play. She normally does say like, oh, poo poo, but I'm like, it hasn't happened in so long that I'm not really taking it seriously. So she's getting really tired. So I'm like, whipped her out of the bath, got her dress quickly, got her down into bed. And Joseph's like, like, it's really stressful when, like, if he like disrupts like nap time or bedtime. Because I'm like, there's a fine, like, window where I need to like. It's really hard, isn't it? Because I never know what to do when you're on your own and you've got them. Like one's got to go to bed, but the other one can stay up and then you've got to try and juggle.

I know. And then he's a little bit too young for me to be like... Oh, you stay here on your own. Yeah, exactly. If I say like, oh, don't come in because you'll disturb it. Obviously, the first thing he wants to do is come in. So he'll just walk in the door. And then she's then like, Jojo and wants to play.

And I'm like, this is literally ruining my whole day. But yeah, so I got Sadie down to bed quickly. And he's like, Mommy, Mommy. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, shh, I'll be there in a minute. I'll be there in a minute. Eventually I'll go in. Bless him, he's like, mommy, there's poo in the bath. I'm like, oh, no, I'm so, I'm so sorry. He goes, yo, I went to pick up what I thought was my pirate hat, but actually.

It was poo. It's a piece of Sadie's poo. Oh, no. And he's just floating all around the bath and he's just sat there. I was like, I've never felt like a more neglectful mother. I was like, I'm so, I'm so sorry. I've just been going, yeah, she's sure. I'll be there in a minute.

Shut up. I'm trying to put your sister to bed. He's like, Mum, seriously, I'm trying to tell you something. I'm surrounded by floaters. She just shit all in the bath and she was sad. She just shit and gone. She's like, peace out.

See you later. I'm not staying in this bath. That's a bit like me this week. I put Renner's in the bath and they threw him. I was in the bath, pottering around, you know, wash your hair, wash their back, playing with the toys. And then I literally launched him out of the bath

because I see this big brown lump at the bottom of the bath. So I launched him out. He was wet everywhere, slipping on the tiled floor. Then he was on Dottie's bed, up the hallway, in everybody's bedrooms, soaking wet, having the time of his life. I need to pull it out and it's a tiny guinea pig. Dotty's guinea pig in the bottom of the bath. That's like the reverse situation. Yeah.

I think I'd rather have your one. I poo panicked. Yeah, because then I'm like, what do I do? Do I drain the whole bath? I just shift it out and shove it in the toilet. Yeah, but do I drain the whole bath and run a new one to get Joseph clean or am I just, you come out. out of here with your poo particles on you and get yourself dry. I would have hosed him down.

Down there? Yeah, it doesn't like being in the shower. But how many times do you think as a parent? Like, this is what my life has come to. You're literally fishing out. Poo. It's like getting an egg yolk for a recipe, you know? Yeah.

And you've got to separate the white. You're picking up this poo and basically sieving out the rest of the bar towards it. And then you're like, can I get this over to the toilet? Plop it in, flush the chain, wash my hands and go back to the bath in my children. But I'm sure we've all been there. I'm not alone. I hope I'm not alone. You're not alone. I've been there. Left my child and shitty bath. Yeah. Dottie used to poo in the bath with Colby. Oh, God. I don't think they'd tolerate each other now though. No. They don't share a bath.

Now. God. Imagine. A bit too big to share a bath. But poor older siblings. I mean, they really do take it, don't they? They take all the shit. They do, literally. Well, that's my secret and we'll get into some of yours after this short break. We've got three secrets from you were going to be discussing this week. So, Emma, take it away. I only went and did it. You did it!

First time! From you, from you this week from you. We've got three secrets we're going to be discussing. We've got three weeks... We've got three secrets from you this week we're going to be discussing. Whoa. It's the wine. It's the wine.

It's helping. All right, this one says, hey, beautiful ladies. I need help. I'm a first-time mum to the most beautiful, sassy, 20-month-old queen, and I have no idea where to start with potty training. I've listened to audiobooks and done loads of research, but I still feel completely lost. My mum keeps telling me I need to buy a potty,

but I'm just not sure my little one is ready yet. Do you have any advice on how to introduce it, or is she still too young, and I don't need to worry just yet. I really don't want to rush her into something she's not ready for. Keep being amazing, anonymous. Anonymous, I'm going to say it's too soon. Are you? 20 months.

Yeah. So I looked for signs. So when they can indicate that they're pooing, so when they say poo poo and they're indicating, so they're saying poo and poo poo is coming, I always acted on that motive. So when Renly's having a wee, he'll grab the front of his nappy and he whee's because he can feel his hand going hot from the nappies. That's very advanced.

Yeah. So also, if they're indicating signs that they know that their toilet is coming, I say act on that. Put on a lot of you. Yeah, I say act on that because that is prime time to do it. Also, if they don't maybe act on telling you, if they go to a certain spot or a place to. poo or we it's normally a poo. The whee's are harder to catch, I think. But if they go to a certain spot to poo, again, I feel like it's another indication that

they're very aware that the poo is coming because then you can just grab them and quickly take them to the toilet. Yeah. With regards to the potty, I personally, just me, I know I've already said it, I personally don't bother with a potty. Because when you go to use a public toilet when you're out, they're really terrified at the big toilet. Because it's a big gaping hole and then you've got to hold them over this massive,

of dry enormous toilet and it's scary. So I personally would just go straight for also on that one, when you're out and you get the potty out on the side of the road or something like that or while you're shopping and you just say, oh, you need a poo and then you whip the potty out from under the pram, it then doesn't give them an instinctive to hold. Yeah. And I just think sometimes when it's a little bit easy and accessible, if you're out in a shopping centre and you just say, oh, let me just pull to the side.

and you go to a quiet corner in the shopping mall and you take them for a poo or a wee. Sometimes I felt it just didn't, they got a little bit lazy. I was like, oh, I'm going to poo right now. It's coming right now. And I used to be like, well, you're going to have to hold it. And that's only me personally.

So I think go with it if she's showing signs of it. Or, yeah, no potty. Yeah, I did do a potty. Sorry, that was, I thought it was going to say something. Oh, I did do a potty only because I think it depends what kind of house you live in. I, when I was potty training Joseph, we only had a toilet upstairs and we wouldn't have got there in time. Yes. So having a potty downstairs. I had the bungalow with the other two. I should say that as well. I was on the same floor. I find it easier now that I'm in a house with downstairs toilet because it's closer. But if you can't get to a toilet quickly, I do think having a potty to just prevent accidents and just slip it under them. And I did use a travel potty when we were out as well. And I think with Joseph, they're like holding it just came with age. Like he's really good at it now and he's cool. Yes, course. By the time he was probably three. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was,

good at it. But I didn't potty train him until he was two and a half. I probably won't do Sadie until she's two and a half half birthdays fall in the summer. And I just think that's easier. In easy time. But I think at two, like your little one's only 20 months. And Sadie and Renly are 23 months. And I don't see signs that Sadie is ready. I know when she's going for a poo in her nappy and she'll tell me after. But whee's are, I think, really hard to catch. He grabs and holds it. But he's harder because he's a boy and he's got. And also he is showing signs. Whereas like Sadie, would we, willy-nilly. But Dottie never showed any signs.

There's no way I would catch that. And I remember when we started potty training Joseph, people were always like, oh, the poos are the hardest. We had no problem with poos, because you kind of know when they're coming. You kind of know. But we had so many wee-wee accidents because they've just been weeing and in their nappy, like not even thinking about it. Yes.

So I found that the hardest. But personally, I would say, don't stress. Don't stress yourself out about it. Yeah, it's fine. She's only 20 months. Also, I would say you need to give yourself a good seven days in the house. Yeah. Seven days indoors of just.

no nappy, no nothing, and constantly, it is constantly putting them on the toilet, constantly going on the toilet. And also, you've got to remember now, if it's first baby, not only does readily come in the toilet with me, he goes in the toilet with Chris, he goes in the toilet with Cody, he goes in the toilet with, Colby. The first babies aren't seeing that? First baby isn't seeing that. Why don't you wait until the summer? Yes. When you're going to be outside a bit more, she's going to have less clothes on. Yes. So it's less washing. 100% agree. That's going to be so much easier. And if she has an accident in the garden, it doesn't matter. And it's fun. They're in and out of the past.

And she's still in her going to be like two and a bit. Yeah. I don't think you should stress. Don't worry. If there's signs I would say go for it, but if there isn't, don't listen. My sister-in-law waited until her kids were three before she started anything. And everyone was all, everyone was going like, oh, it's a bit late. They're still in nappies.

They're still in nappies. And she was like, I'm just going to go when my kids are ready. She didn't give in to any peer pressure. No. And they got it like that straight away because she just knew when they were ready. So don't feel the pressure. Because when he's going up to preschool in April. You want him to be a little bit ready.

Maybe a little bit prepared. I think even though I At the moment he will happily do a wee on the On the toilet sorry He'll happily, we got the little stair one with the frame Have you seen it? Yeah And it goes over the top of the toilet

He'll happily go in there for a wee I just haven't got a poo on there Even though he tells me a poo is coming Yeah He doesn't want the fuss of the toilet So I'm not going to push that on him I'm just like oh he'll go to his corner But I also do instantly take it off of him

Although you would with a poo But if he has like a wee in there I'll instantly take it off to say, oh, no, we need to go. Is he doing any of his wee's in a nappy? He's doing most of them in the toilet. That's great. And he's only going to pull up nappy, so just pull them down. Yeah.

But it's the fun, isn't it? He's climbing up the little stairs. He's sitting there and then he's watching his wee come out. Yeah. But I'm just not, again, not putting any pressure on that. If you want to use it, it's there if you don't. Yeah. If he's watching four people, we and pill on a toilet.

And he's showing the signs. I just think if they're not, don't stress it. No, I think if they, she's not showing any signs. Don't stress. and any outside noise. Don't listen to it. Because this is the problem is I think people get so into our heads, don't we? Yeah.

And then we just sit there like, oh. And at the end of the day, they're in nappies for a bit longer. It's not a big deal. No. You do you, Louie. And don't listen to anybody else. You're doing amazing. Okay.

Let's have secret number two. All right. Hi, Sophie and Emma. I've been listening to your podcast since my daughter was born in July 2024 and I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant with my second. They'll be just 20 months apart. I've exclusively breastfed. my daughter since birth. No pumping, no bottles, and I'm incredibly proud of that. You should be.

She's breastfed throughout my entire pregnancy, and I'd love to continue until she's at least two, maybe longer. I plan to exclusively breastfeed my newborn as well and hope to tandem nurse, both my toddler and baby. Oh, I love it when people do that. That's amazing. I'd love a tandem nurse. I'd love advice from anyone who's done this before. Did you feed them together or separately? Did you alternate breasts or give each child their own side? And how does it work with colostrum in the early days? Any first-hand tips would be so appreciated. Thank you for creating such a safe space for moms to share. Rosie from Saskatchewan, Canada.

Wow, Rosie in Canada. Saskatchewan. Oh, literally, just as she said that then, I thought, what if the toddler then takes the colostrum for the baby? You know, the magic golden milk. I've got no experience of this because I didn't overlap, but my friend is doing this at the moment. No way.

She's going to have like a 16-month age gap, I think it is, or 17-month age gap. Same as me and my sister. And she's still breastfeeding her old age. But she was saying she's showing signs of going off it because I think since she's been pregnant, her milk has changed. Okay. Because it's getting ready to be like newborn milk, I guess.

So, yeah, she's due in May. So I don't know how it works with, like, does your colostrum still come in? Yes, what you mean? For the new baby, even though you're still breastfeeding the toddler. Yes. I just think our bodies are amazing. Like people obviously do tandem feed toddlers and newborns.

And it obviously works. But I need to know what we're doing with our colostrum. Yeah. Is that coming through still? Is that coming through? Because I guess your body does know. Like, oh, you've got a newborn come in, so I'm going to give you this. And then will the toddler know if it's changed?

Will it taste different? It might taste different. She might go. Also, I really love that she did say designated boobs. Yeah. Given them one. This is your one. Oh, gosh.

I imagine you'll probably just switch it up depending on like who's on what side. Yes. But I love that. Anyone who has done it. I would love that. I was going to say I would really love to hear from anybody. I'd love to know. But I get all these videos on my Instagram of people like either tandem feeding a toddler and a baby or doing like twins.

or triplets and I just think Furn way. It blows my mind. Because feeding one baby is fucking hard. But then to feed two babies. But to do both, I just think Wow. That's wild isn't it? Yeah. So incredibly phenomenal. Our bodies are so great. They're amazing, aren't they? And the fact that your body like

knows like oh you're still feeding this baby but you need this milk. Also I didn't think you could get pregnant when you're breastfeeding. No, that's a thing. Is it a myth? Yeah. People think people think they're safe but they're not. So watch out out there. Well, not unless. your plan in it.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just thought you couldn't get pregnant when you were breastfeeding. No, I think that's a bit of a myth. I wonder whether like, what's the smallest gap like someone has had? Like, could you get pregnant after like, I don't know, like a month after giving birth? Or would your body be like, no, you're not ready for another baby yet?

I think you could. Because that's how people end up in the same school year, isn't it? They get pregnant. Are they called Irish twins? Yes. They're called Irish twins. when they're in the same school year. Yeah.

My friends, I had a friend and her sister. So you'd need to get, mom would need to get pregnant after like a couple of months. A day. Straight out. In we go. My friend's a midwife and she sees some crazy shit on the wards. Does she?

People getting freaky after births. Someone did have sex when I was in the hospital just after they had the baby. You're choking. You knew someone was having sex on the ward? Well, yeah, she was in the curtain. When you had Wendy? Yeah. No.

That was in the bits when I went from a private room. to the ward back into a private room. Someone was getting it on behind the girl? Yeah, they were on a jiggy. Yeah, they were on a jiggy in the, behind the curtain. No, but the new baby just bought. She had like sexy lingerie on. Stop it.

Yeah. I said to, um, said to the midwives, well, someone's lucky in there. I actually think the midwives need to intervene at that point. Like, I think that's a safeguarding issue. I think they maybe heard us talking because then he left. You shouldn't be. He was in visiting hours, so. You've, I mean, I am I.

You shouldn't be doing that. I feel bad, though, because I don't know one. am I right in saying something? I don't know. Then I feel like someone's going to say, shut up. No, I think that should not be... Anyway, this is a different... This is a different topic for a different topic.

But that is... That's an absolute liberty on a shared ward. At least get your own room. I did. Thank you. I'm getting. But no, thank you so much for that, Rosie. And if anybody can share some advice with us, that would be absolutely fantastic.

I would love to hear, because this fascinates me. I was going to say, I would really love to hear. Even if we're not passing any information on, I would just for our own personal interest. Yes, please. But well done you. That's amazing, isn't it? That is phenomenal. Thanks.

Congratulations. And I hope the last little bit goes great. Labor goes great. And I hope baby arrives safely in the world. Right. Let's have secret number three. Okay. Number three.

Hello, ladies. Hello. My little boy Rory has been cracking us up ever since we realized he pronounces a certain animal in a questionable way. It was all fun and games between my husband and me until we. got pulled aside at the nursery. His key worker explained that he'd been saying a naughty word in front of everyone, which of course led to the entire room of children repeating it. When I gently explained at home that it might be a word better kept for the house, he said,

but I just wanted to make everyone laugh. You and Daddy always laugh. Yes, we're talking about a skunk. Love the pod. Lindsay, okay, I need to hear this. Play the video. Oh, is it a video? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I don't know if I can do it. Rory, what do you want to see a picture of and hear the noise from? Tant. Tant. Cun. Rory, you legend.

I've actually made my eyes go black. He just straight up. Cunted a skunk. Cunct. I've actually snotted. How did the other children at nursery know that's funny? They're fucking filth as well. Yeah, they must know.

Their parents are saying it as well. They must be all just cuck, cunt, cun. Otherwise they wouldn't react. They'd just be like, yeah. Sorry if the word offends you as well. I find it hilarious. I love the word. Yeah.

This episode needs a sick warning and a cunt warning. It was Rory. Rory started it. That's phenomenal. He's like, can't, dad. I was trying to say skunk. God bless his heart. The nursery teacher is like,

I beg of pardon, Rory. What did you say? Let's say it together. Skunk. Cunk Repeat off to me skunk Cunc

Cunct It's like when people say to me say droderent properly And I'm like Yeah Deodorant

Dodorant You're like Yeah I am saying that Or squivel And everyone's like No it's squivel Squivel Squivel

What's that word? The little things in the tree Squirrel Squirrel Squivel Drodorant Vanilia Gazebo

Gazebo Gazebo Gazebo I'm rage baiting I'm like no It's just how I say I say it, Ari, I'm sorry. Oh, what a wonderful week.

This has been phenomenal. Thank you so much. A lovely array of secrets there. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. And if you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. The email is hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram. Are you pooping in the living room?

Or are you saying skunk incorrectly? Let us know. There really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episodes. And we'll see you next time on there. Secret Mum Club! Oh, I was late. Oh, I was a bit early.

Ready? Secret Mum Club! Oh, I was too early, ready? Secret Mum Club! Perfect, perfect. So Tam Lucky for our third birthday!