Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Birthday Nostalgia

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Soph and Emma are celebrating turning 38 by taking a trip down memory lane. From bouncy castles, Capri Suns and Tamagotchis to Furby disasters and the childhood birthday parties that felt like the best day of the year, the ladies reminisce about growing up in the '90s.Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Secret Mum Club starts in just a moment. But first, I've got a recommendation for your next listen, Made by Mommas. Zoe Hardman and Georgia Dayton are joined by couples therapist and relationship coach Karen Doherty. Because sometimes we all need a little help navigating the ups, downs and the Are We Actually OK moments of a relationship. Search for Made by Mommas now and get the episode lined up to play next. Let's move swiftly on from that. Hello!

Oh, and welcome to the secret mum club. I'm Stefina. And I'm Emma. And I just spat on my leg. I think it's the dribble out of my party. Pooper! We've got a really exciting day. It's our...

We're twins. If you're new here, honies, we actually have the same birth... Well, you don't actually have to... It's three days apart. I love that. We're three days apart. Oh, crumms. It's the big...

Three eight. I'm really breathless after that. We're only three days old. What? Three days apart. We're three days apart. And it's the big three eight. It's the big three eight.

We're both turning 38. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Nearly 40. What a time to be alive. Chris, do you know Chris is 39 this year? He's going to be 40 next year. So, Stefan.

Yeah, it is. Sorry, I keep forgetting that. They're the 1987 babies. Yeah, they are 1987. Yeah, they are 1987. We're 88, baby. And we have to celebrate it and there's only one. We don't have to, actually.

No, I think we do. I think it's compulsory. We do have to celebrate it. I love that we were holding this like a cigarette. Yeah. Do you remember those candy cigarettes in you a little? Yeah. Colby loves them.

Nothing felt more grown up than lighting up a candy cigarette on the playground. Or in my case, 10 pack a sovereign. I was a smoker. I was a smoker. No, I was a great time in my life. I used to sell them in the bush, along with Jaffa cakes. I'm sorry, I've had to take these glasses off because I'm... Emma can't actually see.

But I'm going to be LMFAO. I'm sexy, yeah, no, no way. We've got the glasses on with the, what would you call these? Like the stripes. Strippers. Stripper glasses. Shutter. Shutters.

Sorry. I'm going to say. I can still see the strippers through these. They're not being inconspicuous, honey. Is this what they give you in the strip club? Also, I'd like to say we've not actually even popped the pop the perpetu. I know. Honestly, this is what we're like even before a drink.

Right, should we pop some fizz? Should we pop some fizz? Yeah. What a treat. Happy birthday to us, honey. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Okay, ready?

What a lovely time to be friends and have our birthdays three days apart. No. Hold on. I can't do it. Have you done it yet? Oh, I was nervous about that because I did well when my mum was around the other day and it took a bloody eye out. Did you? Well, don't worry, I got my stripper glasses on.

Do you want to pass me your glass? I'd love to pass you my glass. Thank you, honey. While I'm doing this, what is your plan for the day? Because this actually, oh no, sorry, you should be asking me that. This comes out on my birthday day. Oh, does it? Yes.

Shall I ask you first? Yes, sorry. There's going to be no edits to this. We're doing this candid. A raw dog in. Raw dog. What are you doing for your day today? Well, on the 23rd, which is the Thursday, which is today.

Obviously, we're deep into the school holidays, aren't we? Yeah. It's week one of the school holiday. Yes, it is. And we're going to Danny and Grandads for a week. Stop it. Nick and Steve are taking full charge. Yeah, well, I'll be there as well.

Of course you will. Cheers, honey, ching, ching to us. Here's to us. Down the hatch up your bum. So I haven't really got any plans, to be honest, because I might have to drive to my parents the night of, because we have to drive through the night to make it bearable with the kids. Got you.

I think actually the night of my birthday might be doing that, which is a bit tragic, isn't it? That is a little bit tragic. I know and it means I can't even have a drink, so I'll be having to drive for four hours. Oh, well, at least we'll be driving together because on your birthday today, I'm driving to Devon. Are you? We're going away for a few days. Yeah, me. It's not like you.

And do you know what? It's me, Chris and the babies. Oh, nice. And do you know what? I absolutely adore my family. I adore my sister, adore my brother, their wives, partners, children, everybody involved in the family situ. But it's this time

It's this time What? Well, that Paseco has really just gone straight to my brain I can't talk on a reg It's the first time we're actually, in a long time That we're actually going away just the five of us Nice And I'm really, really excited

It's going to be really lovely And my brother is spending Because normally my brother and his wife go away Because obviously I'm a twin So I share it with Richie So Richie tends to go away with Amy But this year, Sod's Law We plan to go away and Richie is home

Oh, so he's like, guys, do you want to hang out? And you were like, peace out and going to step in. So we are actually travelling back on my birthday. So it's sad as yours is to drive on your birthday. We're staying the 23rd to the 26. So I'll be travelling back on my birthday. But you know what? I think the actual date of the day, it doesn't really matter.

It doesn't. It's not as important as you get old, is it? I am getting to an age now where I'm like, do we... You care less. Do I celebrate it? I do care a bit less. I want someone to do like something to mark the date. So it's not just like any other day.

I'm not even bothered about a too much of a celebration. Obviously, it's lovely to celebrate it with you every year. I love that. But I would hate for Chris to go out and make a big charade. No, nothing big. But like, honestly, if someone buys me, Stefan will probably get me like a card flowers and probably a cake. But that tends to be from the babies, doesn't it?

Yeah. He'll probably, yeah, pretend that it's from them. But as long as I've, like, I'm happy with that. I don't, I'm not like asking for like a big party or anything. I actually hate having my own parties. I couldn't do it. The stress. I get so stressed about no one coming.

Do you remember that one time? Have I told you about that one time? Yeah, I did. When my sister threw me a baby shower. No. And I completely freaked out because it was a full surprise and I was trying to tan fully naked

and filmed myself from different angles of showing my sister how difficult it was for me to get ready for a party that I didn't know what I was doing where I was going, who was seeing, who was even there. My sister still has a video to this date and I crashed out because I didn't know.

And then I said, that's it, I'm not coming. You did? You bailed on your own baby shower? No, I did go. She said, get a fucking grip, you silly cow, and get here. Okay. Were there people there?

Yeah, it was just my family. It was there was no special guests. I remember this, it was Renley. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when I was pregnant with Renner's. Yeah. I don't do too well with surprises. No. No.

No, I don't want nothing major. And I think if I have to drive to Essex on the 23rd, I'm just going to pretend. Bless you, Rosie. God bless you, my sweet one. She was trying really hard. I could see her in the back. Oh, excuse. I might just pretend my birthday's on the 24th.

Because by the time I'm down there with my parents, you know, they'll take care of me. They'll make a bit of a fuss. They'll make me a nice dinner. Probably seeing happy birthday, get a cake, that kind of thing. I might celebrate mine on the 20th. Yeah, I think that's a Friday, isn't it? Yeah. Get the Friday feeling.

Get the Friday feeling. But yeah, that's the plans. Wow. We've got a busy weekend. Saving the big plans for the big 4-0 in two years time. Yeah, see, again, the problem with me is I, it's going to sound like I'm really, like, bigger myself up. I'm a real giver.

I really, really love to give. You don't like to receive as much. I really don't like to receive. I love to spoil everybody. I love to be able to buy them lovely gifts and see their reaction and buy them something that I know they'll really love or be involved in a celebration of parties. Like I love, love, love throwing a party. Like it's my absolute, as long as I can throw a party and feed people, that is my absolute go-to. I don't think I want the stress for anybody else.

I don't want my sister to feel stress that she's got to throw me. a 40th birthday. Yeah. I know I took her to Paris, but that was really for all of us, wasn't it? Yeah. We were just there when it was actually

really selfish of you because it was actually really, I should have just, it's mostly for you. Do you know what? In hindsight, I should have maybe sent Roxanne, James and the children.

But yeah, I tagged along with my own partner, our children and my brother and his wife. I'm going to Paris for your 40th, okay? I'm willing to do that for you. Now in hindsight, that's just a kind of selfless sister I am.

I'm really self-lurs. I really had the most... And you know what? My kids will come along as well. Even their... And my twin brother. They're willing to go. And his wife.

Just could really fuck shit up here. We're going to throw it all in the mix. But no. I don't want someone to have that pressure to throw me something. No. No. And I don't want my own... Like, Stefan's dying.

He's been dying to have his own party since he was like... He wants a surprise party since he was like 30. Chris would never. It's been nine years. No. I mean, Stefan's like, he loves me in central retention. It's my worst nightmare to rock up to a party where like everyone's there for me. wedding's a bit like that and it's quite uncomfortable to be like all eyes on you yeah the focus and

the attention oh I just know too much for you no no to know from you people are like why you're no shrinking violet and I'm like stop it I'm so demure and shy I'm so demure and shame that's pretty much me but just when it comes to a birthday party no no I like making it all about my brother though I liked my brother to feel special I want him to have the best day at least you've got someone that you can like share the line with it's not all it's not too intense it's not all the focus isn't on you. Oh, I don't know, Richard would be a blender. He'd rather sit back. Would he? Whereas I'll be like, hey, guys! That's how I've been my whole entire life, if you could not really gauge. Right, after the break, we're getting nostalgic. Are you ready? I love a little bit of nostalgia.

I can't wait. It's very on vogue at the moment to be nostalgic. Vogue? Oh, no, that prosaco's giving me the hiccadipidies. Oh, crumbs. Welcome back. Okay, we all know what birthdays as mums looked like, but I think we should go way back and remember the birthdays of birthday pasts. Oh yeah. Because birthdays as a child were everything. Yours were shit.

No, that's really harsh. I know, I need to take that back. It's really hard, I think, and I think unless you're a twin, I don't think you'll get it. So obviously, I've got my twin brother. So growing up, it was really hard that you, one, didn't want to compare, like,

your presence to the size of your brother's presence and vice versa, you know, worked either way. Like, Richie would be like, oh gosh, you got more than me this year. And birthday parties, because I didn't really have any friends. Like I said to you, I was a, listen, this is not a sad story. It's not a sad story. I had a really lovely life, really lovely birthdays. Obviously, I shared them with Richie, but they tended to be more focused towards Richie because Richie had a really big group of friends.

All still his friends now, may I add, all these years later, they're all still friends. So I still had fun. I still got off my tits on Capri Sons, you know. I still lived my best life. But they weren't, I never really remembered having, like when we were really little, I should say like primary school, me and Ritchie had the same friends. So it was probably when we left primary school sort of and moved up and got a little bit older. So it's probably from the ages of like 10 upwards.

Yeah. But primary school, we had lovely little tea parties. Did you have the thing where like it was always a bit of a bit of a nightmare for me? because it would be like just inside the school holidays normally my birthday. So I'd have to give out my invitations. And you'd have like, obviously there was no WhatsApp invitations. You'd have the proper invite, which was like a little A5 sheet of paper. Yep.

And you'd write everyone's name. The time, the address. Because there's no telephone number or there'll be a landline maybe. A landline number, RSVP. Yeah. People would stick that on their fridge with a magnet. And hope for the best. And as you think, well, I hope people don't, like, A, go on holiday and can't come.

Or B, we get it. We finish school and everyone forgets about it and nobody turns up. That was always my fear. I have to do the same with Colby. So I have to put the date out and get the feelings because his is in the middle of the holidays. And then Dotty is right on the opposite side of the holidays. And then mine's always been in the school holiday. But we've always been really lucky because we've always had such beautiful weather.

I always remember. And this is probably a bit of rose tinted glasses. But I never remember it raining on my birthday. I always remember the weather being amazing. We would always have a bouncy castle. Always in the garden. Yeah. It was just the best.

And you would look forward to it with like such anticipation. Like there was, you know, now you just go to sleep and you wake up and it's another day. But the feeling of it was like Christmas, the feeling of going to bed. The excitement. And counting down the days, it's my birthday in a week. It's my birthday in three days. Going to bed and not knowing what was going to be greeting you in the morning. What presents were you going to get?

Even like the smell. Do you remember like the smell of the day? Like the sun would be be beaming down. There'd be ice cream in the air, burgers because there'll be a barbecue going. Maybe the smell of like a wet pavement because someone's been having a waterfly. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

What was like one particular birthday party that that sticks out to you that you really remember? Well, again, so we were a lot older. Obviously, as well, the older we got, my mum would have, so we had a lot, growing up, we had a lot of friends. So my mum and dad would have friends, but their children were our age. So we grew up with them. So it would be like, when it was a birthday party, it would be not only children, but there'll be adults as well. Yes.

There'd be a lot of alcohol involved. And there was one birthday party where my mum. mom and dad had hired a rodeo ball. Oh, yes. Yeah. And that was... Can imagine how that went down?

But my mum's friend, Karen, put her... We shouldn't laugh. She put her shoulder out. She fell off the ball and put her shoulder out. Jesus. You want to say the party came to an abrupt stop. It did in that moment.

Then Karen got sent to the hospital. And everybody carried on. It's very, very back in the day, you know. That wouldn't happen now. No health and safety. No health and safety. No. But no, it was just.

birthdays were just a lot of fun Yeah And it was just always I never remember it being just children It was always like a community Yeah They'd be adults as well Yeah

There's lots of fun memories Yeah What's yours? Do you have one particular? I think yeah I always did the bouncy castle in the garden thing But I remember getting to like secondary schools It must have been like between year seven

And year eight maybe I think it was 11 I was turning 12 or 11 Yeah And I thought oh Is it a bit lame now Like now I'm at big school. Is anyone going to want to come to a bouncy castle party? And they were new friends. I'd only known them since the start of year seven.

So I was a bit like, oh, I don't know. Everyone's going to think this is like a bit shit. You know, I was getting a bit self-conscious about it. And I've still got the pictures now. Everyone came and it was like, it was such a blast. Yeah, everyone loved it. And it was the summer I decided to grow my fringe out. Oh, nice. So I remember I had it in a real side fringe with like a slide. Yeah. A little clip.

Go on girl. And I just thought, I'm really feeling myself. Refresh. I'm feeling myself. I've never had a fringe since. That's a lot. I have had a fringe since. Everyone went through the 2012 fringe phase. And then you grew out again. And then I grew out again. But yeah, I just remember that being a like, yeah, being a really a nice one. And we'd always have like a hot dog from the barbecue. Yeah, it was always a barbecue. Probably some sunny D. Just getting high on sunny D. You know how it was. I don't remember a time, like a birthday park that wasn't a barbecue. No. Even up to like now. That's the great thing about having a summer birthday. And I thought, oh, I'm going to plan to have my kids in the summer so that they have this experience. as well but I've fucked it in their February and March so they'll never experience this. My in August and April. August and September you've done well. I've done all right.

Ren probably won't have a bouncy castle in early March. I don't know what there's, because my niece's end of March, she's had a couple of birthdays where it's been hot. Yeah. But you never know. I had to put a cat amongst the pigeons, you know. Yeah. Chris is Christmas.

Yeah. Yeah. In your summer. Yeah. That's good spread to be fair. Good spread. It's also like nowadays, gifts aren't the same, are they? No.

Do you remember that? We don't even. There's like an agreement in Joseph's class, which to be honest I'm happy with, where you just put a fiver in. Nice. Yeah. And you don't have to think about going to buy a present or what the kid might like. It's like, chuck a fiver in a card. But do you remember that time when your like family friends would come around and they'd bring you a gift?

Yeah. And you'd end up with a table full of big wrapped presents. The excitement. Like something out of toy story. Yeah. Oh my God. It was, I never forget. I never forget the year that I got that fucking Furby.

Ruined my life that thing. But you hated. Hated it. And you hid it. I wanted this green Furby. I remember going on my mom and dad about this green Furby. It was neon green down the back and he had a pastel green belly. Wanted him, want him, wanted him.

Got him. Scared the fucking shit out of me. And you hit it in a cupboard. Kept hiding it on the landing cupboard. Had to get rid of them. Although Furbies have come back, haven't they? Have they? They've made a comeback.

I know there's like a... Furby's Tamagocchi. Do you remember Tamagotchi? Yes. So my nephew who's like 12 has got a Tamagotchi type thing that he tries to like... It's like a pet that he's got to try and keep alive. But I had the OG. Tamagotchi, probably when I was about

nine or ten? I loved that. Yeah. That was like the first fit. It's when you went to school, didn't you? And I said to my mum, you need to feed him, mum. I've had to leave my son-gochi. And I'd come home and I'd like, she's been sound as poo all day.

It's lost a life. You know? That was like the first digital kind of, like not tangible thing. Like our parents probably thought, what do you mean? Keep your Tamagotchi alive all day? What are you talking about? She's a thing on a screen. Yes.

No, you're going to kill it. Yeah. All right. It's a serious shit. Serious jelly. Keep that thing alive. And now our kids are going to be saying stuff like that. Sometimes. My sister used to rock around with like three or four and I was like,

she has a single mom who gets to a job? I can't do it. She got four kids. Ironically, she has four children. She just was able to. She had four tamagotchies. It was written in the stars. That was right. That was the sign. It was how we knew how she was going to be so fucking organized.

So maternal. So maternal. So organized. So on point. Yeah. That's my sister. That's how you knew. She was just rocking with four tamagosches.

I couldn't even keep one alive. I mean, Furby's in the fucking airing. cupboard because I just was going to drown it in the bath because it kept giving me the eye. Also, what's another lovely thing that's come back round? Did you remember when the first ever camera came out that you could print it straight from the camera? Yeah, that's like cool now, isn't it? But they're back again. To have a little polaroid, yeah. So much. I had a little digital camera that I could, it wasn't even digital. It was like a... Do you remember the cannons? You had to get the film developed. And you had to wind it up and then you take it. Yes.

And you think, fucking how they've just seen all of these pictures. Me and my friend, Nina once, we did a fashion show, right? In my bedroom when we did all these crazy like hair to the side and she did hers, this side, we were like lady suffering and we were on the, we're on the extension at the back of my mum and dad's. They had like a flat extension roof and I used to climb out my window and got on the extension

and we had this really tucking our trousers and our socks, did it all on our cannon camera only to go up to the shop to have it developed and think, someone has just fucking gone through all of these pictures. Someone's seen this. I would have loved to have been the photo processing person in boots because also like in a local

town. I bet there was some rights. You're developing the pictures of people that you might know. Can you imagine? And then you have to come in and collect them and go, oh, like, obviously we were just kids, so it was like all innocent. But like, imagine you'd been on like... A hendoo.

A hendu or like you'd been on an affair and you'd been on a holiday or something. And then someone's printing the photos and going, oh. I bet if they could talk, they'd tell a thousand stories. Anyone that used to work in a photo processing center. Yes. Please, can you tell us? Oh, God. Let us know the worst and best thing you've ever seen. Yes.

Yes. Because the excitement. Because people still do them now, don't they? People still use the cameras now. The films. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm sure you can just get them developed online. It's not actually like a person doing it.

Oh, mad as you saying, you can get them developed online. Well, you just send them off. Yeah, so it's not someone's actually like looking through. I mean, there was probably like a privacy thing that you signed when you went to working boots going, I promise I won't look through people's photos, but obviously you would. You would. Yeah. You'd go right through there.

Deep dive straight in. Yeah. Most of the time it's just like a smudge with your thumb over the lens. Yeah. Also, the other thing is home recordings. What, why, do you know what? I want to get into the era of just putting a camera up. Why did they have hours and hours and hours now?

Hours of footage. But I miss that now. And the fact that the camera just would clip off the stand and they'd just be, I guess I do that now, but I do it with my phone. But it just be hours and hours of content, wasn't it? There was, there's so much of like the camera pointing at the sky. And when we look at home videos now, I'm like, dad, this is 40 minutes.

Did you not realise you were just filming the sky? But it has to stay in the video. You can't just edit it out. So now every time we watch a home video, which we do actually do. We watch a home video. But you know the thing with our home video is that somebody has put the VCR in

and recorded gladiators. Oh yeah. The bill, like the bill or heartbeat is over a lot of out. We'll be in the middle of opening Christmas presents. Yeah. Do you feel the power of the gladiators? My sister's always like, you don't have my second birthday

because it's an episode of the bill. Sorry, it's heartbeat. Yeah, but it was the Sunday Omnibus and I couldn't miss it. What do you miss when you're a baby? Obviously it's so convenient now to just be like, oh, the kids are doing something cute. I'll get my camera out and snap it and it's so easy. But that doesn't go anywhere. It all just like gets lost into the bloody camera roll of your phone.

And I keep saying to Stefan, like we need to be better at documenting lists because now we go, oh, you know, I want to look back at like Emma's fifth birthday, holiday to New Yorker. Can't. Wack it on. You just got a few photos. on the gram. Yeah. Yeah. It freaks Joseph out though.

Have you showed your kids, your videos? No. We showed, said my nephew and Joseph a video last time we were back at my mom and dad's house and they were like, it blew their minds. They were like, mommy used to be like me. Mommy used to, they kind of don't like it. They're like, they just think you've always been an adult. They're like, hang on.

That's actually quite sweet. It's actually made me a little bit emotional. That's quite emotional. I haven't even ever thought to play them. It's a mind fuck for them. Your kids are probably old enough, obviously, to understand it. But like, what, when Joseph was like three. I don't think they recognised me.

I was a baby Buddha. I was really a little bowling bowl. Bless me, art. My brother looks exactly the same as what he did when he was little. He's just a bigger version. Yeah, identical. I love, there's nothing I love more. I'm glad my parents, like, had that.

I think even saying, had they had that technology, I think they used to borrow a camera because it was like a big deal to afford a camera. Yeah. I think they were like in like a camera share with another family or they borrowed it. So if we had like a holiday or a birthday, They would borrow it from someone else so we could get some footage. As if I could love Stephen McKinney more, that was absolutely adorable.

But these birthdays were just the best, weren't there? Would you say children's birthdays are better now? Well, back in the day? I think we look at it with like rose-tinted glasses a bit, don't we? And we're all like nostalgic about it. We only tend to want to remember the good things, don't we? Yeah, I can't remember any of the bad things. No.

But I think there is a lot of pressure on kids parties now. But then back in the day there probably was, but we were too little to know it. aware of it. No. No. Like, I truly believe that I was only ever christened because my mum and dad wanted a party. Do you know what I mean? Probably true. And Chris's mum and dad too. Yeah. They christened him because they wanted a party.

Yeah. It was like a fashionable thing to be christened, wasn't it? I wasn't christened. I wasn't christened. Oh, okay. Not for you then. You know this story, right? Must have changed over three days. They did my sisters. Oh no, no, I was going to say, your sisters are christened. They did my sisters and then by the time they had the third, they were like, there's no time. Yeah. There's no time and no one cares. But I think, our part. parties were better. Oh, bad.

They were just so simple. And that's all kids want, really. I pride myself on a really good party. I'll have, you know. You are really good at it now. But I think sometimes, like, the parties that you see on, on Instagram and stuff, they just get a bit out of hand. All kids really want is, like, to get high on sugar, see their friends, get

loads of presents and have a good time, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I do struggle with the big parties, you know, like, maybe more celebrities when you're looking at them. Yeah. They just seem a little bit unrealistic. Dick. I'm just down for a garden party, man. Yeah. I mean, I'll have a wedding garden party, to be honest, in my own garden.

Yeah. Probably on my own. Get your vicar in for £700, Bob's your uncle. Oh. Are there nostalgic birthday bits we have missed? Then let us know. You can email us. Hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back. Back on the Prosecco tonight. We'll be back. First thing.

on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club!