Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Biscuit Choke

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

Sophiena shares how trying to help her niece swallow tablets ended in a full-blown biscuit-choking disaster. Emma’s been busy schmoozing with other parents at Joseff’s school, and a potty-training wee goes very publicly wrong. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. This podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do, and as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can keep that to yourself. You can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the... Secret Mum Club! See, we do have it. I feel like when I look at the camera, I feel like that speech is really long. Yeah, but I feel like it comes more naturally when you actually don't look. I don't know. I feel awkward looking. straight down the camera.

Hello and welcome to QVC. I feel like I'm used to read. Well, we've got some mugs here for you today. Two mugs. Actually, fucking four. So many mugs. Because you need my mug on your mug.

Let's get them into position. Get your mug in position. How are you doing? I'm okay. I like a little short. Thanks, honey. A bit of Olly B. We're all on a leopard print vibe today.

We are. Although Emma was double leopard. It's even on your trainer. I know. Holy shit. Oh, I haven't got mine on my trainer today. I'm coordinated. Anybody want to reach out with some leper print?

Where the girls. You got it on your coat today as well. On my coat? Yeah. Sometimes I didn't think about that actually because I wear that coat just all the time. Like no questions. Just grab it when I'm leaving the house. And then sometimes when I've got other leopard print on, I think this is too much.

Clashy. But I'm not thinking about it. But I think other people are looking at me thinking she loves. If I saw you, I'd go iconic. She loves leopard prints. Yeah. We spoke about this. I think leopard prints are neutral at this point.

It is a neutral. It's a bit like a black, a brown or white. It's a leopard. Yeah. A leopard. I think I don't know why I went with colors. If it's just a solid color, everything's going to be. A little colour pink, red, orange, salmon, peach.

I'm okay. I've had a bit of a pooey weekend. Have you? Yeah. Literally pooey or just rubbish? No, just rubbish. Everyone's still ill. I said that the children went back to school great, didn't I?

Yeah. Well, the end of last week was literally fucking horrific. Both children came out of school crying. Obviously, Colby, not that, what's the word? Underplaying? Yeah, not because Colby is quite an emotional soul. But when Dottie come out, I was just like, what the fuck has happened? It must be wrong.

And she was just like, I don't really want to talk about it. And I was like, okay, well, when you're ready, let me know and we can talk about it. And she was like, I just want, I just don't ever want to go back. I literally burst into tears. I was like, what the fuck? That's a total 180 as well. That is a complete 180 because I'm telling you, book club, coffee morning, chats, lunch, maths, English, whatever she's doing. She's been loving it.

Every aspect of school, she absolutely eats it up. And she was like, I just don't ever want to go back. What happened? And I was like, what's wrong? So it took her a little bit of time to come out. And it was, it's normally over dinner time. They normally seem to come out with everything after they've had something to eat. And a little bit downtime, I think sometimes the week was long.

The first week back was really long. And she was just like, oh, I'm just not getting along with my friend. And it's really hard because we're back and forth. And I was saying this on my Instagram that I always want to address the situation. So whether it's bring it up with the teacher or go to the parent, I just want to make sure that the other child in this scenario is okay. And I think sometimes people think I'm being like, what have you said about my daughter?

I'll fucking, fuck you up. I'll knock you up. I'll knock you a block off. But I think I just want to make sure that the other child is okay in all of this. Because if she's upset, then nine times out of ten, the other child's upset. So normally I do approach it. But I'm at the point now where I've brought it up with the teacher,

but they are seven-year-old girls. So there is a lot. One day they're friends, the next day they're not friends. And this sort of would come up, and I'd just been dusting over it for a bit. the school are aware that they know that the girls can be a little bit. Is it volatile? Like that one minute they're on, one minute they're off.

So the school are fully aware of it. But the, she got threatened to be beat up. I didn't know what the fuck to say or do. And I kind of, you go into like, I went into like defensive. She got threatened by another person. So she was like the girls haven't been getting along at the moment for whatever reasons. And that's fine because in their world, that's massive. And I'm not going to, I'm not going to diminish it or put it down.

It's important to her. therefore it's important to me and I treat it important because I don't want her to have, I don't want our feelings to be put down or made to be filled like, oh, you're just being really silly, get over it. We take it really seriously. So, you know, they haven't been friends and we've been trying to talk about it and what we can do. And today are we going to try or you don't feel like you're ready. So we talk about all them sort of feelings.

And then she just said, I was talking to A friend. And then B friend said to A friend while Dottie was talking to her. Yeah. She kind of stopped mid-conversation to say to the other girl, oh, she better be ready because I'm going to beat her up. Oh, shit. So which Dottie was like, are you talking about me? But the friend wasn't interacting with her.

She was only talking through the other friend, which to me is very grown up, very, very grown up. Yeah. Like it's something I used to do when, like my brother and sister, if I was not talking to my brother, I'd say to my sister, you can tell him. Yeah. I'm not talking to him. Yeah.

And like that scenario. Like cutting her out. Yeah. And she was just like, and I was like, well, did she, did she hit you or did anything happen? She was like, no, she kind of just said it a couple of times and walked off. And then she did, I said, is there anything you want me to do? And she was like, I think I would like you to talk to school.

So I was like, okay, I'll pick up with school on Monday and we'll see how it is. Monday come around. She was like, no, I don't want you to say anything. I'm just going to go in today and see, see how it was. Monday was a shit day. Again, it got said again. So I sort of went in Tuesday and kind of picked up on it. And the teacher was great.

She was just like, no, that shouldn't be happening. It hasn't happened. But I think what made me feel so fucking sad is that she went, what do I do if she hits me? My mind just went fucking hit her back. Yeah. So I didn't say that. A harder. Push her over.

Grab her out. How do I already know about beating people up? And again, it's really hard because I'm such a believer in. You don't know what's going on at home. You really don't. And I'm very, very conscious of that. I'm so aware of not everybody has the same home life. And there is struggles at home.

And I'm very, very aware of that. And I don't ever want to take that away from somebody else. So I just want, again, why I speak to the parents? Because I just want to say, are you okay? Is your child okay? Like, is there anything I can do? Has Dotty said something? Because again, I'm only hearing Dotsy's side.

What if Dotty's threatened to punch her or beat her up? I don't know. But I need to hear both sides of the story. So I'm also not the one that's going to defend her and go, I'm the first to say, what the fuck has she done? What has she said? You know, I'm the first to throw my own child under the story. the bus. So I'm very aware. I'm like, don't you hurt my precious child? They're perfect.

I wish I could, but I'm always so aware of my own actions and know that I've spent many a years fucking up and then my mum's had to go, well, the teacher told me it was fucking you first. Oh, right. Now I've got that in me that maybe it's my children first. So no, and she was like, what do I do if she hits me? And again, I just wanted to go just working out her back. But I just said you just got to take yourself away from the situation and speak to the teacher. Yeah. And then, yeah, it rolled around. We're Tuesday, we got it sorted.

And then she came home Tuesday and was just like, we've sorted things out, we're friends again. Good. And I think what's hard for me is you and me right now, if I'd said something really mean to you, would I want to then compensate with you? Would I want to be your friend if you'd really, really hurt me? Because right now this scenario in their world is really hard and painful.

And now it's just so sad that they've just now got going and carry on. They've gone back to normal. Like she doesn't just threaten to beat her up. weird. It's a really horrible mind game. So now I'm sat here and she's like, I'm, I just want to get ready for my birthday plans because, you know, her birthday is September. Yeah. We must get it done. We must be proactive. She's like, oh, I'm going to invite her to the party. You're thinking, I think the fuck not. Yeah, invite her mom. Invite her mom. No, I'm going to, but it's hard. It's hard for me to now let go and I know I have to in it. I know it's an age,

but it's just, again, it's one of those scenarios. And because I'm not. gone through it with Colby. Well, I have. He had a little fallout last year, didn't he? He got pushed over. But then again, didn't that go back to normal as well? Like one minute they were friends. Again, that child now has told him to fuck off this week.

And he was like, what do I say? Do I tell him to fuck off back? No. You can't fight fire with fire cobs. You can't. I was going to say, yeah. Yeah. Push him back.

But again, how we parent, me and Chris, the two children, you can't parent them same. And even though their scenarios right now are very, very similar, you can't tell them the same because they're two different people. He wouldn't punch them back. She wouldn't think fucking twice. She'll line him all up and fucking smack him in one going. Whereas he'll go, no, no, I'm not touching no one.

No. So yeah, once we got her sorted, he had a situation where he needed a poo five minutes after break and the teacher didn't let him go, which I did bring up with the school. And I completely understand what the school's coming from. and I spoke to his teacher and he was like, it was five minutes after break and I was like,

I know, but what do you do if the poo's coming? Nature calls. You can't, and I just said to him, you know, I completely understand where and I appreciate that it's right

in the middle of like the session and what you're doing and they've just come back from break. But Colby literally come home Friday, bawled his eyes out and went to bed because he'd held his poo him for so long. He then couldn't get the poo out so he was in so much pain.

And then you've got to go to school and be like, if you need to poo, can you let my child have a poo? I know and you feel so silly and I understand that school had procedures. I never understand why schools are so obsessed

with toilet rules. I remember not being allowed to go to the toilet when I was at school as well. I went myself in one class because I wasn't allowed to go to the toilet and obviously I'm someone that needs a toilet all the time so I've got a nap ladder but it's like schools are like obsessed with being like we mustn't let you out of the classroom

what in case you're going to go and do something you shouldn't? Again it's with everything isn't it? I don't, I can't, I want to sit here and agree with you, but also I'm not a teacher, never been in a school setting. So I can't imagine what it's like trying to, trying to loop up 30 children, not only to poo at the same time. It must be frustrating. And this is what I said to the teacher. Like, I understand what you're telling me. And I understand that the scenario isn't great. But from like a, from a parent's perspective, he's held his poo in and now he's in loads of pain. Also, like, if you're a good kid that's like, you're probably not asking to go to the

toilet because you want to go and do something naughty. You're probably asking to go to the toilet because you need the toilet. I was doing naughty when I was on the toilet. Just let them go. What were you doing? Go and setting off the fire alarms? Selling Jaffa Cakes out the bush. Selling fags out the bush and out the bush and the school yard. I was really well behaved and I was like, why am I not allowed to just go for a week? I had my toilet pass. I had written myself and signed it with my mum's signature. I left all the time. I was constantly on my period. It's children like you that have ruined it for the rest of us. I literally, I want to say to Colby, maybe it's mum. It's funny that we're at the same school.

Colby's at my school that I went to. I fucked it for the system. It's the policy now because they're like, do you remember Safina? I get it. Maybe that's why they're so angry from 30 years ago. But no, both schools have handled it so wonderfully. Colby's teacher took some time after school to speak to me about it and have a chat and see if there's anything that the school can do to support in,

which I just think is wonderful. And I think there's a lot of parents that sit there and won't are too, maybe too worried. Like I was that parent, definitely when Colby first started school, I was the parent that was too worried to bring things up. But I think even if the school are aware of it, you don't want anything done, but you just need them to know the situation. Yeah. I definitely say, always get off your chest. You feel so much better for it.

Yeah. And the both schools are dealing with them wonderfully. But I'm also aware that they're not the only children. I don't want to sit here and go, these are my children. I know. They need all the support. I know it's the school setting and I know all the children are going through it. It's hormones, it's growth, it's development, it's emotions.

There's everything all wrapped in. But you know when you're just like, what do I? I don't even know. I'm a child, you know? Yeah. Sometimes it blows my mind until I have three children and I'm responsible. Like I'm fully there. Yeah.

Is it a dependent? They're your dependents. Yeah. Yeah. It shouldn't be the other way around. They've got to look after you. I feel some days they are. They are looking after them.

But no. So a little bit of a bit of a shit week. Yeah. And then the weather was so wank. I don't know what it was like. What was it like in England? It's been nice in Wales, wouldn't that? No, well, we, I don't know.

It was affecting all of us. Goretti came for all of us. Oh, no, I was actually fine. My mum thinks I've moved to, like, the Arctic. She's always like, what's, she texts me every morning. I did. What's the weather like there today? I'm like, it's fine.

It's like quite moderate climate. Have you got, if you had snow where you are? No snow. No snow. No snow, like normal amounts of rain, which is quite a lot. Frosty, mainly frosty and, like, sunny. Oh, so same as us. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You're only ill. Little across the bridge. You're not in Australia. No. It's not that far away. Every morning I'm like, mum, fired.

She's like, your house still there. Yeah, you lost your roof. Yeah, no. Any trees falling down on you? Yeah, no, it's fine. But how was your week anyway? Good, we had our first birthday party. With a new friend?

School birthday party. Shit? Yeah. That's big jelly? Yeah, it was big. It was quite like... For Joseph? Well, big for him, but also big for me.

It was for Jojo, not... It was for one of Joseph's friends in his class. Oh my gosh. This is huge. It was, yeah, it was... It was really sweet, like, obviously lovely of them to invite us. Yeah. Because he's the newbie.

He's the newbie. Although now, so I didn't realize with preschool, I don't know if it works like this everywhere, but I thought. We're in a different country, don't you? Well, we're in a different country, you know, different jurisdiction. Exactly. It's like a rotating like intake. So they take children in every like January, April and September.

Because it all depends on their age. Yeah. So it's when they're after the term of their birthday. The term after they turn three, they can go to the nursery school. So I thought all the kids had been there together since September and it was like a normal school year. But actually, because I was like some of these friendships seem really tight considering when we joined, they'd only known each other for like two months. Yeah. But there were kisses galore happening on the playground for Happy New Year.

And I was like, are we doing? Am I? Are you going in for kisses? Are we kissing each other? I didn't kiss anyone. Oh, but there were other people. Kiss him. Not like, tongues.

Not snogging. No, gosh, I was going to say that. That is a preschool. We all need to be. Just a kiss on the cheap. I was like, you seem to know each other pretty well. Some of them have been there since last January. Right.

Children that are now turning four have been there since they turned three. Yes. And so this January and then some started in April and some started in September. So some of them have known each other for a year or nearly a year. So I was like, okay, that explains why I'm like, I'm not quite in the fold yet. But also. You'll get there, honey. No, I will.

And the party was a great networking opportunity. And let me say, I worked at the room. I love that we just turn every opportunity into business. I'm in business. I'm in business. This is business. Joseph was very clingy at the beginning and I was like,

Mama needs to work the room so give me some space. Get the fuck off mood. Go fly. Tenor if you just fly. Tenor if you leave me alone for two hours. I reckon I can hit ten parents in that time. I think I spoke to like five or six parents.

I did pretty good job. Nice. You covered some ground. I was exhausted after the birthday. Large glass of wine? Yeah. All two? Yeah.

I was like, there's no alcohol at this party. What's going on? But I had a lot of party rings and squash. Wow, honey. I was flying. You want a balling! You baller! But what I was going to say was

some three-year-olds have now started in the class because January, the children that turned three between September and December have now started the January intake. So it's quite nice now. Joseph's not like the new boy anymore and there are little ones that are younger than him. That's sweet. So I feel like that's helped him settle in a little bit.

But yeah, I think things like the party are really key for like basically he needs to like just latch on to someone. And then when he goes to school, he'll feel like he's got a friend. Because at the moment he kind of doesn't really have. have anyone and he's still a little bit reluctant going in. He's always been that way. He's so independent. He's not like a balshy child.

And he's not bothered. If he doesn't want to play with somebody what they're playing, he'll happily play what he wants. He'll do his own thing. He just won't settle for someone playing something he doesn't want to play. He's just like, fuck this, I'll play out on my own there. No, he'll do his own thing. We had some photos out on the nursery app.

He did wrap around care yesterday. And on the nursery app, it was like, today with preschool, we had a disco. The pictures of him at the disco. I was like, Stefan, you have to go and have a look. They're so funny. Initially, I was like, this is funny. And then I was like, actually, is it really sad? Like, everyone's having a disco around him.

And he's literally just like, literally couldn't be less impressed. I knew you were going to say this. I knew you were going to say he just sat there. I can tell. They're not video. They're stills, but I can tell he's just standing still. And he's like, fuck these people.

Literally her eye roll. Like, he's like, a disco pathetic. Like, didn't want to get involved. But then in the next picture, he's like, playing with toys. And he's like happy as Larry. Yeah. I said to Stefan, or is it really sad that he's like, doesn't want to be involved in the things that the other kids are involved. But he knows what he wants to do.

You know, he knows his, he knows his own mind. So at the party, he was like clinging to me, like a limpid. And I was like, you have to, like, please go and play with someone. Mama needs to do some work. But then, so he didn't want to go on the bouncy castle, but it was a Play-Doh table. So he did sit at the Play-Doh table and play because he was on my lap. Yes. And they sat and had some food and snacks and stuff.

And then after that, for like the last hour of the party, didn't see him. So, Emmett, you even only had an hour and you spoke to five, six parents in an hour. Yeah. My girl, I'm proud of you. Yeah. There was a couple that, like, I've, I kind of know already. So you've had a couple of paid. Sorry, catch you on the playground Monday.

Yeah, so I was like, this is dead time. I'm not talking to you. I've already, we've done this. Yeah, I was. Go you. Yeah. I did a lot of chats. And now, things like that are good because now on the playground.

You're really getting into the community. It's been a little bit awkward because I'm like, kind of see people that I've seen before and I know them, but I've never actually introduced myself. So at the party, I just had to be like, look, I think, I've seen you, I don't know your name. I was like, I'm Joseph's mom. And then just went from there. Everyone's really nice.

That's really, I can imagine you as well. I don't know whether to cry for you because that's so sweet. You're just walking up like, hello. Hello. And everyone's already in their little conversations. And I'm like, tap, tap, tap, hello. Could I just trouble you for a second? Do you know what?

Do you know what envision in my head is Motherland? Yeah, it's very motherland vibes. Yeah. But a lot of awkward friend that just stands there lingering. Yeah. I'm like, wait. for my moment to like get into the conversation. Did a few dads.

Whoa! As well. Really went to ham. Yeah, I really did. Yeah. So it's nice now because on the playground I can be like, yes. Hello, John.

And then you've put the face to the child, the parent to the child. Yeah. Yeah. That's a hard game to play sometimes. It is where you've got to link the parent up to the child. Yeah. Who's is who's. Yeah.

I've also signed up to Google Classroom and that's helping because all the children, all the children are listed on there with surnames. Stunning. Now I can go on social media and stalk the parents. Fuck now that, that took a detail. I thought you were going to go up. Mr. Barnes. Oh, brilliant.

Yep. You're George Barnes. Yeah. But I can make the connections now. So that was a key moment in kind of like parent. And he come away. Happy? He loved it by the end.

They had a Sonic someone, I don't know, a poor uncle or something dressed up as a Sonic. Because it was like a Sonic themed party. And normally he would run a mile. He was up there, high-fiving Sonic. Like it was really cute. Just hearing him like... I thought you were going to say you dressed up in Sonic

to get some more... Get some more friends. Some more points in at the end. Sonic's dropped out. Don't worry, I'll pick it out. No, he loved it. He was having a lovely time. When we got home, he said to Stefan,

I was like, oh my God, tell Daddy who was there. I was like, you were high-fiving Sonic, weren't you? And he went, well, it was someone dressed up as Sonic. Oh, God. It's like, you were too damn clever. For a three-year-old. Yeah. But it was really nice, yeah.

It was a nice, like, first social engagement to get out the way. We've got another one coming up. Wow. Seventh of Feb. Basically, obviously, everyone's going to turn four, like, every month. So, you know. That's it. You're fully in the midst of it now.

This is how it continues. Social schedule is going to turn busy. But obviously, Joseph's birthday is the ninth of Feb. Another little boy has got his party on the seventh. So I was a bit like, I spoke to his dad at the party and I was a bit like, just, you know, going forward, that's going to be our date. Right. I was like, you can't just take friends, but then you also pissed them off.

No, I was like, oh, when's your, when's your little one's birthday? I was like, because that's our birthday. Oh, that's our weekend. And he went, oh, do you want to do a joint party? No. I was like, whoa. Wow. I said, going forward, maybe, I was like, but not the one like next month.

I was like, we've only just met. He went, I'll just put Joseph's name on the invitations. I was like, no, honestly. I feel like, I felt awkward then because it was like I'd kind of like forced him, backed him into a corner and he was like, you can just, you can just join in. And I was like, no. I feel like last minute you're going to be like, I haven't arranged anything. You know, you said about it being a double.

You did say about changing that invitation. I think Charles, we could pick that back up. I've sort of run over with my stuff. We'll circle back on that when it gets closer to the seventh and I've arranged nothing. No, I don't think I'm going to do a big party this year. No. Just because we're new to the town. Yeah, I'm going to just do a family thing.

Oh, okay. Yeah, low key. You'll change your mind in a couple of years. You'll be on the second part and you're like, fuck, I need to get some kids back. Well, it could be a good opportunity to gain some more friends. So I don't know. Oh, I say Cecey Opportunity. Do it.

Drive by the Iron's hot. My plan at the moment is to just do a family thing. Okay. Could change. Could change. But Sadie's good. She's good, yeah. She's just been, she's not ill for once, touch word.

Sleeping crap. Everyone's still sleeping terribly. I'm up like two to three times a night. At this point, I don't think I'd call it sleeping. I'd just say you're doing all nighters. I'm getting two to three hours at a time. So it's like... That's better than nothing.

It's like newborn. It's like newborn. I don't have the hormones to see me through. So it's like, you know, you can deal with all that when you've got. Yeah, exactly. It's a full on toddler. They don't need me. That's the thing.

I'm like, why are you still waking up? I don't know. Maybe they just really miss you. Maybe you're so fun. Stefan said they've got really clingy to me because they're spending more time with me now. And he's been working away. He's started a new job. He's working away every week.

Wow. And so obviously they just cling on. He's like, oh, they just love you more because they're like seeing you more. And I'm like, because I'm a legend as well. Yeah. Because I'm fun. But they are really cling it to me. Are they?

To me. Yeah. And I think Sadie just wants to hang out in the night. She's like, let me come into your bed. Yeah. I'm waiting. I love a really stiff neck from like, I think when she's in, I do love a bit of co-sleeping, but I think when she's in my bed, I sleep really awkwardly because I'm kind of looking out for her.

Because you're also too scared to move. One that you don't want to wake them if they are asleep, but two don't want to roll onto them. I don't want to roll on her. I don't want to, I just, I think I sleep really. And I feel like your brain is overactive because they're in your bed. So you don't actually really nod off. Yeah. I sleep really lightly because I'm like waiting for the next moment when someone's going to wake me up.

So I'm like holding myself really stiff. I'm just not getting like good quality sleep at the moment. But my plan is to just go for. You look wonderful for someone. Do I? Yeah. Thanks. My plan is to go for a massage this week.

Stunning. You deserve it. You've worked hard this week. What we've networking and. Yeah. I just have to ask Stefan for some money to pay for it. I keep being like, I really want to treat myself. I don't have any money anymore.

Could you just leave me? Daddy. Could you wire me 50 pounds? Venmo. I love it when people say that. I don't even know what Venmo is. Benmo me. It's the American one, isn't it?

What do we say, Revolute. PayPal. Just Monzo me the money. Monzo. Give me the PayPal money, honey. Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome.

You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about, or just say, Hello. You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search for Secret Mumpod, or you can email us. Hello at Secret Mumpod.com. It's time for the Correspondence Corner Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun

Dunn't carry away then Lost in the moment Don't get out much these days That sounded like the beginning of Can you keep up Baby Boy Remember that song? Yeah, tune

Imagine, do you remember that song? No, I just remember that line Baby bye No, don't know actually It's really dodgy, isn't it? Oh also do you know what Just before we get into this correspondence corner Colby just asked me to put the thing song on the other day.

What was it mean? What I said, what's the thing song? And he goes, you know, that thing, the thing, thing, thing, the thing, thing, thing. I said it was actually song and he went, oh. Did he know what that means? What's the song? And Dotty went, you know, then pants are right up mum's bum. Right.

She knows. They're just in the back of the song. They're in the back of the car going their thongs, the tongue, song, song, thong, thong, up mum's bum. Dug it with a bee go. Ben, yeah. Just was a very, it's a very, it's a very, it's a very, it just because a very, it's a very, Is it just the weird conversations?

I sit there some days and I think, what the fuck? At least he knows what a thong is now. This morning she woke up angry and she just phoned me because obviously I was already on the train here and she was like, I woke up and Covey's toe was in my mouth. And I was like, what? And she was like, yeah, he wanted me out of his bed.

So instead he just shoved his toe in my mouth. And he was like, yeah, she deserved it. I hope she liked my toe and her mouth. I was like, right, guys. Okay. I'm going to leave here. So wild. If people have my conversations, I'd be locked up.

I'm glad my kids can't ring me. Can't ring me, yeah. I just walk out, walk out on them, close the door. They ring me. See in 10 hours. Sometimes on FaceTime, it's great. And she was like, do you want me to show you how it was? No, I'm all right.

I'm okay. I'm on the train now. Thank you. Anywhoe. All right. Take it away, my girl. All right, this one says, hi, ladies. Hello.

I've just listened to you talking about baby names being stolen. And this actually happened to me. Stop it now. When I was pregnant, we didn't know whether we were having a girl or a boy. I told my family, including my sister, that I really love the name, Louie. Oh, stunning. I love that name. Ended up having a little girl, but everyone knew we wanted to try for another baby in a few years. Oh, we're still gone for Louie. For a girl? I think you could, yeah, be unisex, couldn't it? Beautiful. Fast forward a few months and my sister had a baby boy

and named him. Fuck off. Louis. Oh, fuck. I was really upset because she knew how much my husband and I loved that name. I made it clear at the time that everyone knew we liked it, but somehow everyone denied remembering that. Oh, of course I did. Oh, that's so, so, so, so annoying. Gaslighty. As you can imagine, it really hurt. And I held onto a grudge for quite a while. Even now, five years later, it still sits at the back of my mind.

I suppose I also tried to look at it as we clearly picked good baby names as she just couldn't come up with a better one from anonymous. No, you'll be nice. You're being nice. If that was me, I'd hold that shit forever. I'd take it to my grey. It's so mean. So mean.

And why is everyone like gaslighting her? Oh, I never heard you mention that. That's the worst bit. What? That would piss me off so much. I would have just gone Louis for a girl. Yeah. Oh, that's really fucking annoying.

Now, now, five years on, she's now justifying that. No, that's me. Yeah, I wouldn't get over it. It's hard, though. It's your sister, you know? Sorry, Robs out, but I would let you go. You'd be out for that. I'd lose you over that.

I would lose you for that. I'd get you straight out the door. Just so annoying. She'd probably thought, oh, you've had your baby now, and it was a girl, and you didn't use the boy in any like, so now I can use it. My sister really loved Tate. That was her baby name. If Everly was a boy, it would have been Tate.

I really, really loved Tate. And to the point where I would have, I contemplated taking it. And then it got to a point where I said to Chris, you know what, I'm going to have to take it off the list. Because it's my sister's baby name. You never know. But that was her last. But that was her fourth baby? That was her fourth baby.

Yeah. So you probably could have used it. No. Because then again, it just makes me think that wasn't my, that was her name. I just would never have used anything Roxanne like. I also wouldn't like people to be like you've got none of your original ideas. Yeah. Yeah.

And yeah, flattering that you obviously have. wonderful baby names, which clearly you do. Yeah. And she's taken it, but... It's hard with names that get popular, because you think, oh, I like that for ages and now everyone's called X or whatever. Like, I always wanted Lily for a girl,

and I still love the name Lily. Eden Lily. But it did get really popular, and then Harry and Megan used it, and I was like, oh... Did they? Yeah, they've got Lily Bet, haven't they? I thought she was Elizabeth.

She's... They've got Archie and Lily, but they call her Lily. Oh, yeah. That's a really nice name, isn't it? But it happened with George as well when William and Kate had George that got really popular again. So, you know. It's a toughie, isn't it? I understand, you know, no name is exclusive to anybody.

Yeah, anyone can be called anything. Of course. But I think when it's your sister and they've specifically said. When it's family, that crosses the line a little bit. Am I being over it? Are we being over exaggerating? I don't know. I think it's being very fair.

There's somebody that's going to say, let it go, honey. Get over it, guys. I can't. I can't let it go. I just wouldn't have taken. But then me and Roxanne, although hers have unusual names, we both have, I would say, Dotties is probably out of the three of them is the most common. Yeah, or more like mainstream, because it's named after Dorothy, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So I would say Dottie is more, yeah, mainstream. That's the right word to use. But still very unusual names. Yeah. Cobby Dottie Renley. And then Roxanne's are Eden, Tobias, Ember Everly. I think Tobias obviously is Toby, isn't it? Yeah, but he's not, he is a Tobias. Yeah.

But I've heard that before, but have you heard of any of the girl's names anywhere else? Do you know what? It's sprung up on someone's the other day. So I've heard of Eve. Oh, yeah. And Eve, Evelyn and Evelyn and Evelyn. I know a baby Eden. Yeah, and there's quite a few Edens, but mostly Eden is, I've only ever heard of it as a boy's name.

Oh, really? Yeah. I know a baby girl, Eden, but I would say Roxanne was ahead of the time on that because the girl Eden, I know, is only one. Yes. And your Eden is 16. She's 16, yeah. So she was, she's ahead of the train. head of the trends.

Yeah. But yes, I just don't know that I would have ever taken any of Roxanne. No. I found my baby name list on my phone the other day. Did you? Yeah, I did. Oh, can I say them after? Yeah, although what if it gives insight to other people and they steal my baby?

No. Would you make it public now that you're done for kids? Yeah. It's not secret. I don't think there's anything on there that's any, like, wild, you know? I don't think I've ever shared this with anybody. You said there was another name. Gussie was my, I love Gussie.

Rudy. Rudy. That was the other one you were considered. Gussie was a big one. Gusy's in capital letters. GUSSI. GUSI. For a boy.

Yeah. Gusy. Gussie. Gussie, Arlie. At Lee. Hugie. Like Hugo. Like Hugo.

Hugie. Yeah. Lonnie. Romy. Are these all boys? Dudley. I like Romy for a girl. Remy for a girl.

Yeah. Ernie. Oh, that's cute. I really love Ernie. And Monroe. Monroe's cool. I liked Bertie for a boy. Monro James.

I really liked Bertie for a boy. Bertie, but my friend, Richie, well, Richie's friends, still my friends, because I know of them and I would class them as my friends, but they're Richie's good friends. They had a Bertie. Yeah, I like Bertie. Yeah. I like Bertie and Ralph, but Stefan Vito does. I love Ralph. I love Rout. I love Bertie. But there you go. Well, stick to your guns. Don't take any shit from no one. Yeah, cut her off. Okay, we love you, girl. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious or silly, and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before.

And remember, we pitch it lower. We're on in this together. And we know that we are. We're all stars and we see that. That was a bit sexual. That was like the stripped back acoustic live lounge version. Was that sexy? I preferred that.

I feel like that's going to give people the ick. I feel like it's going to turn people on. Either turn them on or turn them off. Right, are you ready? I had some secrets to you pick today. Yeah, picked it at random. I don't know it. One to three.

And you pick. Two. Two. Number two. This ties in quite nicely, if you haven't listened to last week's episode, my niece has been really, really unwell over Christmas to the point where it's actually quite terrifying. She's okay, but she has very young, 12, going through all of her new period life, hormones and everything changing. And she actually had a really horrific time over Christmas of bleeding quite badly. And at the point where my sister was generally concerned, it wasn't going to stop. So it got to the point where my sister was like, look, we're going to go back to school. I need some help. I'm scared. Can you help me? So obviously

sister mode. I was like, right, I need to help Roxanne because she's panicking. My niece is panicking. What can I do in this scenario? I just need to help. So we got all the medical advice, 111. They did have to go to the Royal Southamps, which is like a non-emergency hospital, but it's a walking clinic. So went down there, got her some help and so forth. They gave her some tablets, right? Ember, if anybody remembers, Zemba went through a big journey of starting contact lenses, I was chosen parent to help her with that, which I still, again, I'm very flattered that she chose me over her own parents to go. We cracked it. We cracked the contact lenses. My sister was like, right, she needs tablets. So the only one fit enough for this job is you. You've got to get her

to take tablets, never taking the tablet in her life. And so I was like, don't worry, I'm coming. I went down to the house. I went with my nice, calm, well, I'm quite a calm person anyway, but like just my normal self to keep her as calm as I possibly could. And I was like, listen, honey, we're not going to stop this bleeding if we don't take these tablets. So we went back and forth.

I saw, I spotted a malted milk biscuit on the side. And I said, look, I'll show you what you've got to do. I cracked a little corner off of this melted milk. Put it in my tongue. Took a bit of juice and I thought, it's only a little tiny bit of biscuit. I'll be able to swallow that. So I said, right, this is said tablet,

this bit of biscuit. Put it on your tongue. take your drug you're going to swell it around swelling, swell it so there's me in the midst of all this she's watching me really intently like, go on auntie

if I was swelling around I swallow this tiny bit of malted milk right and I was like that is all you have to do and then I said don't just bear with me a second I had to get the I was choking on the biscuit I was choking on I choked

on the malted milk and in that moment I looked at her with pure fear and her eyes and I said to her right that's not That's not going to happen. That's not how it's supposed to go.

That's not going to happen with the tablet. So I was like, fuck. In my head, I was like, I fucked it. I've just shown her that I've choked. Yeah. You've made it worse. I was trying to make the situation better. I had tears running down my face.

She was just looking at me and she was like, okay, can we break it in half? Yeah, yeah, let's just take these two tablets and break them in half. I just didn't want to swallow her tablets, so I thought I'll take it. And that was it. I fucked the whole thing. I could go, what? she was then terrible.

So in fact, I didn't help in the whole situation. I just choked on a biscuit in front of her and fucking ruined our life. And you know, when you were sat there and I was like, I can't like, I was, my eyes were burning from the orange juice. Were you trying to hide it, but you were like choking today? And it was it was orange juice that I'd swallowed it with. So not only was it tearing up my throat. Then the orange juice was getting in. It was so painful.

I had water running out my eyes. I was like, that's how easy it is. And I was trying to hold it and my tongue was trying to. And I was like, oh, Amber, just give me, just give me. And I had to get it out and I was like, right, that will not happen to you. But that's basically what you need to do. Obviously, we're laughing about it now because now she's swallowing tablets. Did she take them? She did. She did. I was like, I promise you on my life, that's not going to happen.

You could have got like about six money or something. Do you not tell your mum and dad this? I had to fucking, I had to go out of the lounge and say to my sister, I like shut the door behind her. And I went into the kitchen. Roxanne was like, are you okay? And I was like, she choked on a biscuit. She was like, you went in there to get her to take tablets. I was like, I know I used the corner of a biscuit to try and demonstrate and I choked on it, Roxanne. I just had to yak it up in front of her.

You've choked and she's traumatised. And I said, we've got the tablets down her. I think I've ruined her. Roxanne in the moment didn't laugh. I wasn't laughing. But I phone my brother-in-law and he was like, oh, what's your secret tomorrow? I said, I'm going to tell the secret of the biscuit. James was absolutely wetting his pants.

So to the point you was hyperventilate on the phone, he was just like, only you would think that you can take a bit of a dry, hard biscuit. How big was it? Oh, tiny. Like, well, it was like the corner of a multi, and I got quite sharp edges though. I nibbled those bits off.

Still, yeah, too very hard to swallow. Do not recommend. Don't recommend it. So if you need to take a, take a, I don't even know. I don't even know what was the old, Maybe a Tick-Tac would have been better to demonstrate. Yeah, Tic-Tac. Or just like a paracetamol.

Or just don't demonstrate. Just pretend. Yeah. Could they not have given her something like dissolvable or like a liquid? I don't, because I think we were out of hours because it was a Saturday. We were out of hours. So they only gave us what was available there and then. But you can get a liquid form, which is what she then got given on Monday.

But we needed to take the... How big were her pills? Were they like a big chunky capsule? Like a paracetamol. And I said to her, so I bought out, wapped out the story of the suppositries. And I said, listen, honey, I swallowed suppositries for three weeks. And I went back to the doctors after three weeks. Oh, they were meant to go up your bum, but you were swallowing them.

Yeah, I said to him, nothing's worked. He said, that's really strange because they're really strong. And I said, yeah, I'm really fucking hard to swallow. And he went, they, they're suppositries. That's what I thought. They got up your bum. How big were they? Fucking horse.

The horse, they were huge. They were horse tablets. I would say they were like this big. Can you see that? God, you must have been choking them down. Emma. I was actually like, chalky. So chalky.

And I was like, I said to her, listen. After now I say it to her, I said how I swallowed their massive horse pills. Yeah. Yeah, I choked on a multi-milk. A quarter of milk. Pathetic. Well, at least my gag reflexes are. We're working. Still in the game.

So there you go. That's my secret of the week. I tried to swallow a dry biscuit to demonstrate to my niece. In fact, ended up choking on it. Yeah. And we'll get into some of yours after this short break. We've got three secrets we're going to be discussing this week. So Emma, do you want to take it away with number one? Okay, this one says, hi, Lovelies.

Hello. My partner's brother and his fiancé are having a baby girl due in February. And we're all super excited. Stunners. So soon. So soon. I'm an only child, so I'll never be a blood relation auntie, but I am an auntie to my best friend's gorgeous little boy.

However, my mum never misses an opportunity to remind me that you're not really his auntie because we're not blood-related. Right, get off. What is with these women? I thought things might feel different when my partner's brother announced their pregnancy, but straight away the whole family started talking about what they'd be called, including my partner becoming an uncle for the first time, and completely left me out. His nan even said would be uncle and Beth, not Auntie Beth. This all came to a head at a family party last night when my partner's cousin said,

I know it's not really real for you, but how do you feel about being Auntie and Uncle? That clearly wasn't aimed at my partner. It was aimed at me, and it really upset me. I just wanted your opinions. Am I still an auntie, even though I'm not a blood relative? I make so much effort with my nephew and love him to pieces, and I'd be exactly the same with my partner's brother's baby. It's just really starting to hurt to feel like his family don't include me or maybe don't even realise they're doing it.

Love to you both. Beth, a fellow Welshie. Right, Beth, listen to me. If you get married then, we got to have a piece of paper and then have a ring on their finger for her to be your auntie. Are you taking the piss? I don't know why everyone seems to have such a problem with this in this family. Who gives a shit?

I mean, my, Stefan's niece and she's going to be there and I guarantee you want to fucking call on Beth, won't you, when you need childcare? You'll basically play the role of an auntie, but they're not using the title. Amy isn't a blood relation to my children. But they call her auntie. She's Auntie Amy. Yeah. And Uncle Jammies.

They are Auntie and Uncle and they're not blood relations. Yes, they're married to my brother and sister. Regardless if Richie and Amy weren't married or not. She's their auntie Amy and Uncle Richie. Yeah. And that's the way it goes. I call Stefan's nieces and nephews, my niece and nephews, but they don't call me Auntie.

But then they don't really call him Uncle Stefan either. They just call us Stefan and Emma. Never comes up. They're older though. Even when they were little though. Okay. That's always been the way. But I think that's just the case in our family.

And like we don't. But if I imagine they may not call you auntie to your face, but I can guarantee when they're talking about you, they say Auntie Emma. Yeah. Or like, yeah. Like Stefan to my sister's children. I don't, I think they just call us Stefan and Emma. But even, I would say that's just in my family.

family thing. Yes. You don't call mum and dad, mum and dad. It's Stephen Nick. Exactly. So we've got it all back to front. We've got it all back to our family.

No, not back to front, but that's just how it is in your house. Yeah. And like even my blood relative nephews don't call me Auntie. They call me Emma sister Hayley. Blood or no blood.

That's just the way it works for you. Whatever your family chooses. But even if that was the case that maybe Beth doesn't want to be called Auntie. Maybe she does. Who really cares? But why are we not giving her the choice as to what she would like to be referred to her?

Are you happy to be auntie? because we would love to say to the baby that your auntie, the same as what her friend does. Her friend chooses, this is Auntie Beth. Because she's such a wonderful human. And if it's something she really wants, why would you be like, no, it's not really that, though, is it for you? I've got friends where the children call them Auntie and Uncle.

Chris's best friends in the whole entire world are all uncles to the children. They call them Uncle A, Uncle B, Uncle C. They're all uncles. Yeah, I like that. But they're not blood. Not related. No. No.

They're all at that. And that's how even Chris, or say to him, oh, speak to uncle, or we're going to go and see uncle. Yeah, yeah. That's just the way it is. We did you have that when we'd be younger as well, did you? It was a very big thing. Your parents' friends would be called like auntie and uncle, yeah.

But my sister is auntie. That's just, I'm auntie. I'm not Auntie Fina anymore. I'm just Auntie. Yeah, I'm going to ask Auntie. Yeah. And your brother is, you call Richie. He's Uncle.

Yeah. Yeah. I think Uncle's a little bit harder to be our uncle. Yeah, I know what you mean. You'd throw Auntie into conversation. The children are saying Uncle Jammy. James, which is my... James, yeah.

Or sometimes they'll say jammies, but he's Uncle Jammies. But auntie is just auntie, straight auntie. And then Auntie Amy is Auntie Amy. Yeah. But they will say that. Yeah. But even regardless, I just... I think your partner maybe needs to step up with his family and be like,

Beth really wants to be known as an auntie. Sorry, I know you're married, but actually you're not blood related, so therefore we're still not going to call you one. Does it change when you're married? They're more likely to call her Auntie Beth if they're married? Are they married? No. No. Yeah, again, we don't know.

She said my partner's brother, so I don't think it's her husband. But yeah, either way, it makes no difference. Paper or no paper, ring or no ringer. Oh, it's my brother and his fiance. Oh, my partner's brother. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think if it's something that's important. So right, let's hold you just do it.

Let's back the fuck up out of this joint. What if now Beth and her partner fall pregnant, what are we going to say to his brother's partner? Sorry, you're an auntie. Yeah. Works both ways, honey. Beth, stand your ground. Yeah.

We're fully supporting you. We're with you. We're with you. I like that she calls me a fellow Welshie. Like I'm included in the crew. You are fellow Welshie now, aren't you? Officially, you're there now. You live there.

Yeah, I guess so. Sorry if I was really aggressive on that one, Beth. I really took me back. Yeah, you feel strongly about that. And I know everyone feels differently about it. Obviously, it's something that is important to Beth. If it was important to your family and then you didn't want her to be the title of auntie, then I feel either way it needs to be explained.

Yeah. I feel like reading this now, Beth isn't aware. of them not wanting her to be auntie. They're just assuming that she doesn't want to be called auntie. It sounds like everyone just keeps making digs about it. To me it's not important. Communication is key here, guys. Yeah, talk to them about it.

It's not important to me personally, but I think if it is important to someone, just let them have it. I think that's what I'm trying to get at is it, but the communication needs to be there. You're going to be an uncle, congratulations. And Beth, obviously, you're with his brother. Do you want to be auntie?

Or would you like to be auntie? How would you like to be auntie? Yeah. But I would automatically assume, regardless of if Amy and Ritchie were not married or married, to me, they're aunt and uncle. Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Let's have number two. All right. This one says, hi, ladies. I've just found out I'm pregnant with my second and my first is just turned two. Congratulations. We've been trying for four months and I was so excited to finally see those two lines. But alongside the excitement, I'm feeling really anxious because my first pregnancy was incredibly hard and honestly I hated being pregnant. I feel awful saying that

because I know so many women would give anything to be in this position but I had HG during my first pregnancy that's the really bad That's a sickness isn't it? That can be... Yeah. Hyperamuses gravadarium. Oh, hyperamuses gravadam.

Sorry. Thanks, Mad. With constant nausea 24-7 for nine months I was sick every single day without fail and I barely coped and that was without a toddler to look after. Also, my C-section recovery was horrible. I developed an infection and my scar to. took four months to heal.

God bless you. I really want to feel excited and enjoy this pregnancy, especially as it will probably be my last. But I'm so anxious because of everything I went through last time. Yes. I'm so grateful for you both.

This podcast genuinely makes motherhood feel so much less lonely. Gabriela. Gabriela. Thank you so much. I feel like it's very, very valid. Very valid. Yeah. The nausea.

Nause. Nause. Nause. Nause. Nause. Nause. That just feeling sick alone was fucking horrific. Yeah.

But to actually constantly be through. Throwing up. I feel really bad for people that had that. And calling it morning sickness doesn't do it justice because you can feel sick. Afternoon all the time. Every day for the rest of you. I felt nauseous. Like felt nauseous, but never threw up.

And I'm always like, oh my God, I feel sorry for people that have to throw up. And then my friend who vomited every day was like, oh, at least I could throw up and get that feeling like out. I didn't feel sick all the time. So she actually preferred it the way she had it. But I think that's much harder to deal with because you can kind of mask the nausea if you're feeling it. and I just was like constantly snacking to keep it at bay. If you're having to throw up, you have to be near a toilet. Like that is like practically a nightmare.

And then when you've got a toddler to look after as well. Well, if you're out with your toddler, you need to be sick. Yes. Yeah. That would run into the toilet with your toddler. Yeah. It is hard. It's hard.

And my heart wants to say that your no two pregnancies are the same. Yeah, it might not be the same. It may not be the same. But it's completely understandable that you do feel that way. Like it's so understandable that you feel out. anxious and worried about those things because that's all you know. You don't know any different. But we've just got to cross everything and pray and hope that it's better.

Yeah. Yeah. And with regards to, again, the cesarean, we just never know. Again, like your recovery might be different this time. It might be better. You don't know. We don't have much advice. But all we do know is...

But you don't have control over those two things. We don't. No, we don't have any control. And to have another baby, you're going to have to go through both of them again. If you choose to have another cesarian, which I'm guessing. you are. Your feelings are so valid. Yeah.

And I don't want you to feel alone and feel that one, you should ever put any guilt on yourself to be lucky enough to be pregnant and feel guilty that you're feeling this way. Because other people would give anything for this opportunity. I think everything you're feeling is completely valid. Yeah, you're still allowed to feel crap about it. Yeah. And you're definitely, you're definitely heard. We just, well, I personally just don't, all I can say is just listen to your gut,

give yourself lots of rest. Yeah. trust your body, let it do what it needs to do and hope that no two pregnancy are the same. And no two births are the same. But keep us posted. Yeah. Congratulations.

Oh God, I hope you're okay. Hoping for no sick. It's not that there's nothing you can take for that now, isn't it? You just have to deal with it for nine months. Savage. Some people have it in the first trimester, don't they? But then some people get it in the third trimester. And then some have it all the way through.

Oh, God. It's such a long time to feel sick. Nine months. Gosh. God bless you. Sending you all the love and all the world, Gabriella. Thank you so much. Right, our last secret.

All right, this says, hi, Emma and Sof. I'm listening through your back catalogue and heard you talking about little boys pulling their trousers down all the time. It brought back one of my favourite potty training memories, although at the time I was absolutely mortified. It was summer and we were fully in the middle of potty training. We lived out in the country, so we'd often take our son into the garden to do a wee. One day, I was meeting my mum for lunch at a local restaurant. As we walked in, I turned around to check my son was following me, only to find him standing in front of a huge window, trousers around his ankles, happily peeing in full view of a large table of diners.

Oh, God. They all had a good laugh. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Now, nearly 13 years later, it's one of my favourite stories to tell. Much love Ashley from Minnesota. Oh, Ashley. I'm sure he loves that story as well. Now he's 15.

That just feels my heart with so much joy. Like, doesn't it just give you so much joy? Because you just think, I know there'll be people that are angry. But, you know, when you just sit and you think, they're so like freaking cute they're just so innocent like they have no social awareness to be like oh I shouldn't just piss

in the middle of this in front of this restaurant I need the toilet take the trousers down stand in a corner and take a wee I think good for you he didn't wear himself

no he did his wee yeah standing up trousers down fair play he's mastered it yeah if it happened to be to be fair

everyone was actually in the wrong place at the wrong time that was his time to go to the toilet you all shouldn't have been here watching my child you should have been eating lunch around me

Stay at home next time and have your lunch at home. Oh, I love that so much. And now he's 15. Yeah, and I'm sure he loves his mum telling that story. Oh, safe here, isn't it? They are in Minnesota. Yeah. The likelihood of him listening to us.

Wow, did I have a big listenership. Oh, unless Ashley plays us in the car. Yeah. Shout out to him, we and Ashley. Yeah. They're obsessed, though. They are obsessed. That's adorable.

I'm really excited for party training. Are you? I'm dreading it. How's Renner's getting on? Great. Is he? Yeah. We've got a wee-wee's.

down but we just have got... Foughty pooh-poo's. Yeah, but the wee, Redley is way different to Colby. He's such a little wea, like he'll just do little sprouts of we. That's probably because he hasn't learned to hold a full bladder yet, isn't it? Which is what we're mastering. But we have got little pants. Have you?

I just can't. His tiny little bum cheeks in these big pepper pig pants. Are they quite briefs? Yeah, little briefs. Two to three. Yeah, two to three. Do they go smaller than that? I think we got, there were some that were one and a half.

to two, but I went two to three. Probably good to gone for the one and a half to two because they're tiny. But he really loves him and he likes to show everyone his pants. Does he? Yeah, gets him out and he says, Peppa! And he points to his willie. Am I leaving the house with pants on? Absolutely fucking not.

No way. But he does take himself to the toilet and he's doing great because he puts himself in the toilet downstairs when he has a poo. And he comes out. Yeah, in the bathroom. Yeah. Does he do a sit down way? Yes.

We got the little frame from Smith's that's got the seats on it and then the the toilet seat over the toilet, yeah. But no, we're not, God, he's not saying he's getting every wee on there. We're having a lot of accidents. Oh, yeah. He goes and just takes his nappy down and then he trots up the little stairs.

Oh, bless him. But sometimes he can't be bothered, he just stands in the lounge and us all we. Is it weird that I've gone through boys' pants now with Joseph and I'm really excited to get girls' knickers? Yeah. Yes. Love girl pants.

Well, thank you, everybody. And thank you, Ashley, for sending in your secrets this week. We really appreciate them. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club And if you'd like to share your secrets with us you can The email is hello at secret mumpod.com Or with Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram Has Potty Training ever backfired for you?

Or are you referred to as an auntie, uncle or something else? Let us know there really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club!