Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Bog Brush

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

It's so cute when babies learn to do things themselves... except when they mistake a public bog brush for a hair brush. Away from the listener's gag-worthy stories, we hear hard facts about getting pregnant whilst breastfeeding and we get a truth bomb from a five-year-old. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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While supplies last, 1 in 5 chances to win GameCube prizes at outset. Chances to win Double Play prizes based on time of code entry and draw prizes based on number of entries in each draw. See rules in app. Hello, this is the Secret Mom Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. All your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. All your comments,

thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? It's time for another. Oh, is that what it says?

Oh God, hold on. It's time for another Correspondence Corner. I could really give that one my all because it was the first time I didn't have a baby laying on top of me. You could have given it everything, but you didn't.

You didn't. Try harder next time. You went in flat. You went in flat. Right. Shall you hit us with number one? Shall I?

Shall we? I mean, you can leave now. I shall. We've just got here, but... All right. We've had loads of you get in touch about getting periods and breastfeeding. Again, I was giving out some dodgy scientific advice.

To be honest, never ever take anything from what we say. Don't listen to anything I say. This one's from Lauren. She says, hey, ladies, I love listening to Sadie shit on the pod. She did. She did curl one out. Yeah. She actually had about seven.

A few times. Yeah. Went through about three outfits that day. She did. She says, I breastfed my daughter from birth until she was around four or five months and one day she didn't feed as much as normal a few days later my first period since giving birth made an appearance oh it's definitely a myth that you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding but i think they used to believe this back in the olden days because while you're breastfeeding your hormones still act like you

are pregnant yeah that's what i thought wow and it tricks your body into not giving you a period. So you think, oh, I'm not getting periods. I can't get pregnant. How funny as well, her feeds dropped. And then her period came back. Yeah. That's funny, isn't it? So phenomenal.

The human body, women's bodies are just amazing. So mind blowing. So yeah, I think that's what I was thinking basically. But just because you're not having a period, can still be ovulating so be careful because you can still ovulate and not have a period yeah so you can still get pregnant when you're breastfeeding that's what she's saying yeah i thought you had to have a period though to to ovulate i had to shed the lining yeah i think you can still release an egg wow but not necessarily shed the period again do we actually believe what you don't listen to anything i'm saying just chat shit

okay uh shania also wrote in about it like shania twain oh it's that don't impress me much she says hi safina and emma i've breastfed all my babies and every single time my periods have returned within eight to 12 weeks. Yet other people I know have gone months or years without having a period whilst feeding. So you were just really whapping out false advice. I was chatting absolute BS. Only because I haven't had a period whilst breastfeeding. And it took like a couple of months for it to come back after I finished. But obviously...

Have you had a period now? Everyone's different, no. Because I'm still feeding. And I didn't with Joseph until like a couple of months after I stopped. Are you still in any protection when you're having sex? Absolutely. I don't want another... I don't want another baby yet.

But then from your mantra would say that you won't get pregnant. No, but I knew I was like... I knew my health advice was dodgy. So I'm not following my own advice. So she's given out the advice, guys. But I can confirm that Emma's not actually taking her own advice. I am saying don't listen to anything I say. Take it with a pinch of salt. I love it.

Don't take health advice from a podcast. She says, I was told it could be the fact that my babies have slept six plus hours at night. So I'm not feeding as much. Again, if you're not feeding as much your body's like okay sadie's a feeder isn't she she's a cluster she's a cluster feeder yeah not sure how true it is but it seems a possible explanation periods are the worst and can totally relate to the heavy period after the third baby love you both that's what you're talking about so so bad it's rough isn't it it's awful like it doesn't clot anymore it just pours out of you like a jug of water oh it's so painful as well just annoying when you're looking after a baby

as well to have to deal with it and it's just another thing to deal with because then it makes you i smell a bo already and then just wow here's more bo smell a bo and here's a load of period blood yeah exactly and hold a baby that's screaming at you too all the time yeah yeah yeah but we wouldn't have it the other way truly love my life that's how psychotic it is isn't it that's how mad it is the things that we go through and the things that you you talk about in your day-to-day life to the outside world is crazy but to us as a as a little community mum's parents yeah grandparents anyone that's been through this, it's wild.

That's why people have multiple children because the hormones make you forget how insane it is. It's like a tattoo. What's the answer for that then? Because you have a tattoo but then you forget the pain of it. Oh, it's really painful.

Let's have another one. Yeah. Why don't we do it to ourselves? I won't be having a full one. Or a tattoo. Wow, I need a tattoo because I've got the baby's names on me every night. Are you going to get Renly done? Where?

There on my feet. Okay. With a Dumbo and a Thumper. And what are you going to have for Renly? I really want to have the little mouse done in Dumbo's hat. Oh. Timothy. It's a little mouse and Dumbo.

Dumbo's got a mouse called Timothy. Yeah. That's in-depth Disney knowledge. Is it Timothy? The mouse and Dumbo. Maz and Adam. Dumbo mouse. Cannot confirm or deny.

Yeah. Timothy. You were right. Well, I wouldn't question your Disney knowledge, obviously. So the, and he lives in his hat. So you have enough of Renly. And he also has the feather so I would really love to have like

the feather in the little mouse on your foot for Renly but also I would really love to have the bird and Stork over Dumbo

when she drops him on the train because he's our little Ren which is the last little bird in the next year but to be fair I'd have a whole Disney leg if I could

Would you? A sleeve on your leg Yeah I'd love it Chris has got the Disney castle on his leg Why don't you? It's a lot of money yeah they're expensive really expensive yeah yeah very expensive i'd rather go on holiday i don't really ever go on you wouldn't because you don't fly you might as well get the sleeve then get the disney sleeve get the disney sleeve

just do it we've got another one here it says hi safina and emma i wanted to chip in after the mom who wrote in about her child only being naughty around her and good for everyone else. When my now 28 year old daughter was five and in kindergarten, she was an angel at school, but at home she was a handful. One day when I was worn out, I asked, how come you're an angel out in the world and at home you don't listen? My little girl stood there with her hands on her hips in a superwoman costume and said, mum, when I'm at home, I'm with the people who love me and I can be who I am. And I know you won't make mewoman costume and said, Mom, when I'm at home, I'm with the people who love me and I can be who I am and I know you won't make me leave. I thought, well, shit, you are a five-year-old

and you are 100% right. Home is where you get to be exactly who you are. She is now an emergency room nurse and getting married in two months. Love you girls from Kelly. Oh my God, Kelly. That is absolutely adorable, isn't it? Yeah, that's the kind of thing joseph would say

i feel like this has given me very jojo vibes like at home i do what i want because he's the same yeah at nursery i get a full report like oh he's been amazing he's eating all his dinner he's doing this he's doing that i'm like different child different child at home not that he's like he's not bad at home but i do think and i remember when we had that original lettering we were saying like they just test the boundaries yeah closest to them don't they do and that's all it is the only place that they feel safe to be who they want to be exactly it's actually a tribute to your parenting i think yeah they feel that they can be themselves yeah because you wouldn't want them being good at home and then being a little shit away from home that was me i think i was good at

home but then i left the house outside i think that's the most important thing and like the thing that makes me like proud and emotional is like when he's good for other people I'm like go on go on you show him what you've done yeah and then at home I'm like god damn

god damn god damn it oh he's not bad well I hope everything's gone well she got married did she say get married in two months

oh and she's now a nurse oh I hope everything goes well and she has the most magical day yeah yes we've got one last message from emma another not me not anonymous hi ladies a few eps ago you spoke about how milk comes out of boobies i recently found out that there are four to eighteen tiny openings or pores where the breast milk comes out it's a bit like a tiny

shower head isn't it mad this was the girl who went to a gig mcfly i believe yeah and said her boob was squirting out all different angles and i was like i swear mine just comes out of the tip no i've got loads i had like when i was thingy and i used to squeeze when you were pumping yeah it was i had loads of little holes all over the areola yeah yeah all over the little pointy bit. Four to 18 tiny eyepieces. 18! That's mental, isn't it? On one nipple. Wow. Wow. That must come out like a right shot in the mouth. Yeah.

Well, sometimes they do choke a bit, don't they? Do they? Because it's like, yeah, and apparently I've got a fast letdown as well, which means it comes out quite fast. Oh. So sometimes if my boobs are really full, she's a bit like. Oh, it's called a letdown. Letdown.

Wow. It's a real called a letdown. Letdown. Wow. It's a real letdown. Thank you for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next is time for one of your secrets. So what have you got for us today, Emma? All right, this comes from Claire.

She says, hi, Safina and Emma. I've just been listening to your debate on bog brushes. This was a while back. They're dirty, aren't they? Dirty. I'm with Safina. Whenever I see a bog, I get PTSD. Back to 2000 when I had my little girl

and my son who was 18 months old. As you can imagine, as a new mum with a toddler, I was trying to find ways to keep my little darling occupied but also tire him so I could have a nap in the afternoon. Fuck! Fuck! his bright white golden locks with the dirtiest bog brush. His bright blonde locks were covered in shit particles. Fuck! Fuck! It's disgusting. That's disgusting.

Disgusting. Disgusting. How does one of you not know how to flush the toilet after you've had a shit? Well, there's fucking one of us. Disgusting. A bog brush at home is bad enough, but a public bog brush and his blonde hair was covered in someone else's human shit. She says shit particles and loo water started dripping down his face. I grabbed him whilst uncontrollably gagging. The memory of the cleanup still traumatizes me.

Oh my God. That's absolutely, that's absolutely disgusting. Vile. Oh, don't, don't, don't. Oh no. It's giving me bloody PTSD. She's gone again. Vile. Oh, don't, don't, don't. Oh, no. It's giving me bloody PTSD, that is. She says she's still got PTSD and it was from the year 2000. That's 24 years ago.

Back from the bloody brush. That fricking toothbrush with the Nair hair removal cream. What's worse, the toothbrush or the bog brush for you? I can't even think about that cream in my mouth. I don't know. I don't know i don't know god bless him he was so happy with himself that he'd brush his hair with the bug brush yeah he probably thought look at me i'm doing a good thing no bog brushes should be banned they should be

banned in public they should in public toilets they're never good they've always got poo in them we in them rolled up toilet roll they're fucking rang disgusting yeah bog brushes in public they're bad enough at home but in public places they should be banned they're just absolutely disgusting vile why why are they necessary why don't you just put your hand in the toilet and wipe your skidders off with a bit of tissue yeah with a bit of tissue flush it down wash your hands wash your hands why is cleaner why do people feel like they need to pump maybe people need a poo spoon i don't know a poo knife or tissue yeah maybe that's what they need a chopper they need a poo spoon i don't know a poo knife or tissue yeah maybe that's what they need a chopper they need a chopper yeah maybe they're poo so big and they're using it as

a plunger rather than a toilet brush get it out it's unsanitary do you know i don't even like the handle knowing that everyone else it's the white plastic touch the handle with their pooey hands oh my god do you know what's worse as well when people put it down when there's tissue in the toilet that's what i said and then all the tissue sticks to the bristles. I know. And no one ever fucking cleans them. You can't clean them after that. That's it.

You might as well throw your bog brush away. It's done after that. It's just them white bog brushes and you go in and you're just like. The white plastic with the black bristles. That's too much. I don't think they're even meant to be black bristles. I think they're meant to be white bristles. And they're just covered in so much shit.

Do you know what? Toddlers as well. Like they get. I bet they're meant to be white bristles. And they're just covered in so much shit. Do you know what? Toddlers as well, like they get, I bet she couldn't bath him enough that day. Like they get so dirty and gross, but a bog brush in the hair.

God bless her heart. That's traumatizing. That is. That is. I'd wash his hair five times. We'll shave his head. Shave his head. Can you imagine

Colby's blonde, long hair? This is what she says. Yeah, if he'd run it through it. Oh, yeah. My bright white golden locks.

Oh, God bless him. Is he all right? God love him. Well, it's 24 years later, so I imagine he's all right by now. He's probably clean by now.

That hair's probably grown out. I don't know if he's recovered. Gosh. Well, Claire's still got PTSD. I don't, how could you not? I know. How could you truly not have PTSD from that? I bet she's never had a bog brush in her house again.

Oh, absolutely disgusting. It wasn't even in her house, was it? No, it was at a coffee morning. Oh, Christ. That's absolutely savage. Have you seen a bog brush used as a hairbrush? Let us know. Please email us hello at secretmumpod.com

or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Monday, Monday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mumpod. Bye.