Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Brainy Boob

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

If you're going to learn one thing from today's episode, it's that children are honest - they say it how they see it, and they'll tell you how they feel... even if it does involve violence! And we finally hear from a medical professional about c-sections! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Halloween horror is about. This spooky season with these hair-raising podcasts. The Magnus Protocol. Catch you next time, dearie. No, you won't. After dark.

And with that, the curtain falls on the story of Anne Boleyn. The Red Room. Exploring Irish ghost stories and haunted Irish history. Listen to these ACAST shows wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma.

And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. So shall we jump right in? How we. How we hit up the correspondence. Connor.

Connor. Connor. We were so in tune then you didn't even know that that was both of us harmony in then. It's really hard to sing when we're in separate places. Also, can I just add how great we're in sync today the sync up is better today but we are sinking because last on monday's episode which actually went out tuesday we were we were we were a sinking ship yeah we were not in tune yeah it was our first one to be fair but i i had to close my ears when i heard our first we're all in this together because normally normally obviously we're not perfect but when we're not

in the same room as each other it was horrific we got work on that i think but today i feel like it's really good but i don't think people yeah i still feel like it's great but i feel like last on mondays nobody would have known. You wouldn't have known. You wouldn't have known until we got to the singing bit. And then people would have been like, what the fuck was that? All right, are you ready to get into it? Yes, I'm so sorry.

Let's crack on. This one's for you. It says one for Soph and her burger nips. Hi, ladies. My six-year-old came into the bathroom while i was having a soak it started well with a oh hey mummy what you doing but before i had a chance to answer he did a very obvious thinking face and asked mummy you know the bit on your boobies where the milk comes out it it looks like brains you know what it's like inside your head. Why is it even like that?

Lots of love from brain-nipped Becky. Becky and her brain nipples. Do you know what? Actually, why? He's not wrong. He isn't wrong. Why do they look like tiny little brains? They kind of do, don't they?

They kind of like pink and kind of bobbly like a brain mine look like they've got loads of little spots on them yeah is that like the i feel like that's like milky bit now isn't it well i feel like they're that spotty normally maybe it's maybe it's more because you're pregnant and you're like they're getting ready to have milk in them but they normally is it the areola normally has like spots on it doesn't it yeah uh yeah well mine are mine are hairy so i shave mine mine are doing bits my nipples are my nipples are doing the most but yeah you can't blame him for that that's so true isn't it i actually think that's quite a good observation would you rather have burger nips or brain nips oh oh that's like the duck and the horse situation isn't it it's an impossible dilemma

oh i don't know maybe burger nipples yeah and brains stick with what you've got yeah stick with my burger my big burger nipples it is funny though it's a it's a topic of conversation in our house because dotty also likes to let people know that her nipples aren't as big as mine because mine are huge which is always great do you know my mum's got massive nipples she asked my sister auntie are your nipples as big as mum's because hers are huge is it not um is it not hereditary like has everyone in your family got big nips as well don't know if my mum's got big nipples i don't know when i last saw my mum's to be honest has my sister got big nipples i don't know maybe she has i'll have to ask him

when i yeah yeah ask him you can have a look stay tuned stay tuned for the nipple content i'm gonna start calling you burger nip soap like she calls herself brain brain nips becky i think it's catchy bug i think it's catchy i think it'll clock on save me in your phone as burger nip soap i will bns all right we've got uh another message here it says hi ladies congratulations on the pregnancies thank you very much thank you so much i work in operating theaters specifically in labor theater and to answer your question oh yes about pants during a cesarean section the answer is they'll be off that's what i thought she says in the hospital i work in ladies having a c-section will be catheterized in theater

therefore we need to access down below we also occasionally have to shave people if the hairline is higher than where the incision will be and for the record we are definitely not beauticians i hope this answers your questions love from georgia in edinburgh wow i'm not only going in for a cesarean i'm going in for a sack back and crack do you know what i'm as someone who hasn't been able to shave all wax for several weeks i'm thrilled about that i can't believe they shave your pubes someone just grabbed me the gillette yeah She's gone a bit overboard with the cubes. Yeah. And they're not making it look pretty, like she says.

Do you know what I mean? They're not there for that. They're there to get the baby out, so. That is absolutely, although I don't know how I feel about having my knickers off, but, you know, girls got to do what girls got to do. That's what I thought, knickers off. So you will have to sort your bush out before you get in there. my bush is under control it's your bush outlandish i've been i've been serving mine well in the bath i've been doing the um the eyeball the eyeball shave what's the eyeball shave

you don't use your eyeballs because you can't see it she's just got a shave like feel this the no eye will shave oh it's doing great though I looked at in the mirror the other day and I thought bloody hell I'm doing a good job I daren't I daren't look at mine in the mirror I can't even I can barely even see in the mirror my bump is so big I tried to look in my phone I tried to look in my front facing phone camera the other day about what what state it was in but I couldn't see anything no no why would you do that to yourself I did it the other day on my Instagram stories I was like fuck don't want to do that when I'm naked because that's horrific what you went you did vag cam on your Instagram stories no I just put the angle down

under my bum if i was nude right now this would be vile it was not a pretty sight i wouldn't would not recommend one out of ten wouldn't recommend i'm just gonna ignore it i'm gonna ignore it until the baby's out. And then we're talking about it. Don't worry, because is it Georgia? Georgia can do it for us. Yeah, Georgia. Maybe we should ask Georgia. Hook me up.

Not having my baby in Edinburgh, but I'm sure someone will. Should be a long leap. They're all there. But thank you so much for your messages. If you have any comments thoughts or funny stories why not get in touch you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with secretmumpod on tiktok and instagram so next it's time for one of your secrets and i'm excited Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

Halloween horror is about. This spooky season with these hair-raising podcasts. The Magnus Protocol. Catch you next time, dearie. No, you won't. After Dark. And with that, the curtain falls on the story of Anne Boleyn. The Red Room.

Exploring Irish ghost stories and haunted Irish history. Listen to these acar shows wherever you get your podcasts acast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com welcome back we love a secret on the secret mum club we do and you're all so good at sharing so what have you got for me today emma all right this one comes from sarah she says hi ladies i've got two daughters one is 10 and the other is 2 and I've got a secret about my eldest who at the time was about 3. We were in a soft play centre and the kids were all playing nicely, us mums were chatting away while when all of a sudden the kids come out of the structure

crying. My daughter however was not. She came up to me and said that another little girl had been picking on them by being mean and kicking them. It was almost time to go, so all the other mums in the group gathered their stuff and got ready to go pay whilst I manned the kids. Just as everyone had packed up and gone, my daughter clocks the little girl who had bullied them earlier on. As I was putting her shoes on, she marched straight up to the older child and punched her right on the nose, saying, You don't be mean to my friends and you don't hit them, and then marched back to me.

Needless to say, I wanted the world to swallow me whole as the child's mum gave me daggers across the room and was approaching me. We quickly left the building, but as we were walking home, I turned and said to my daughter, well done, kiddo. Really proud of you for standing up for your friends. The moral of the story is don't mess with my kid, I guess. Oh, i love that that is incredible oh my god someone will probably tell us off for promoting promoting this but

i love that though that is just that's just true sisterhood isn't it she was only three as well that's so sad like what what a situation i can't imagine that's like joseph next year being able to punch someone in the face i just can't he's so little i just can't imagine that so the one that punched the the other child she was three she was three at the time she punched him yeah i thought it was an older sibling no she said it's the secrets about my eldest who at the time was about three and then it was an older girl that had been picking on them in the soft play i wonder how much older like a three-year-old taking on a 10 year old 15 taking on a mum oh well god bless her heart she probably would have taken on the mum as well to be fair

sounds like she could would you have shit yourself if you saw the mum approaching you what would you do what would you do no i would run away what would you do i don't know i'd feel like i don't know what really happened to be honest obviously something bad's happened because my child wouldn't retaliate like that but then i would also be a bit like oh actually maybe if it is um justified i would stay and explain it because this happens a bit in like we haven't been in any physical altercations but this happens quite a lot in like parks and soft play where like parents will miss something and i'll see like joseph will get pushed over or and sometimes it is your kid as well. Like sometimes he's a horrible brute, but sometimes when things happen and parents aren't watching and then they

like misunderstand the situation or take it out of context, I'm very happy to be like, no, sorry, your child was being a dick there. Yeah. That was their fault. Like just call it out.

Yes. It's hard. It is a hard situation like I've been in soft play situations where children haven't been nice and so forth like Colby hasn't been nice and I'm like that's not how we act but I will defend either way if if Colby's in the wrong or the child's in the wrong I'll be like actually it wasn't it wasn't really Colby but I'm going to be brutally honest and cancel me if you will but I feel like I always fall into the it wasn't my child it's yours yeah all the time I was just gonna say if you're gonna dish it out you've got to take it sometimes

you've got to admit it's your child that's being the dick and I've always I'm always the person that somebody hits me with their trolley I will say sorry to them for hitting me with their trolley I'm sorry sorry you just rammed your trolley into my hip I'm so sorry about that and I'm always like oh I'm so sorry about him and I will always say or excuse him and he's like but it wasn't my fault and I'm like oh, oh, you know, sometimes you just got to take the rough with the smooth. But I always fall onto the parent that's, well, my Tommy wouldn't have done that or my Jacob would never have done a thing.

And I'm like, okay, then not to worry. Colby, say sorry. And I'm always like, Colby, you say sorry. In the hopes that they'll get the child to stay back. And they're like, what'd you say? What'd you say to the little boy? And they're child to stay back and they're like what do you say what do you say to the little boy and they're like thanks and they're like yeah the mum will look at me like yeah thank you oh you always you always get those parents and those kids don't you you just gotta know that you've taken the moral high ground and you can walk out of there with your

head held high you're not you're pissed for fucking ages aren't you you're so pissed you get in the car you ring you ring your partner you ring your mum you're like for fucking ages aren't you you're so pissed you get in the car you ring you ring your partner you ring your mum you're like fucking can you believe what happened and it just results down to me never going to soft play so i don't i think dotty's maybe been once in her life oh god we're at soft play every weekend and there's always one kid in there that's a takes a shit i know shit follows you wherever you go. There was one time, this one time at South Plate, this kid took a shit in the ball pit. And they were all clambering through the shit.

There was just, it was just a, it was just a big shit show. Oh my God. No, do you know what? One thing post pandemic is you don't get many ball pits because they are a germ fest. So that's one thing to be grateful for yeah and i always find that i just you know they're just they're just full of crazy children aren't they yeah that's why i was gonna say there's always some kids in there that are

causing absolute chaos and they're all like hanging out on the netting aren't they and you see them they're like yeah i'm too old to be in there anyway get out you loser you're 15 go to the park i just you just arrive in there don't you and they all it's so loud it's so bright so colorful you can't fucking function or do anything you've got kids that are like on the netting you've got kids that are like on the netting you've got another one that's hung upside down that's gone through the elastic ropes you've got another kid that's coming down the slide like it's just a it's a whole sensory overload it's too much yeah no wonder she's just like you know

what fuck it i've had enough it's a lot. To be fair, some of those kids, I wouldn't mind if Joseph punched them in the face, to be fair. We're not promoting violence. No. At all. No.

We just appreciate. Kind, gentle hands. Gentle hands. Okay. Gentle hands. Always gentle hands. But if someone's horrible to you, you punch them in the nose.

Say your Auntie Emma says you can do it. Yeah. This episode specifically goes out to all the three-year-olds across the uk and worldwide so if you've got brainy nips let us know please do you can email us hello at secret mom pod.com or we're secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Monday. And we'll see you next time

on the Secret Mump Club. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Halloween horror is about. This spooky season with these hair-raising podcasts. The Magnus Protocol. Catch you next time, dearie. No, you won't.

After Dark And with that, the curtain falls on the story of Anne Boleyn. The Red Room Exploring Irish ghost stories and haunted Irish history. Listen to these ACAST shows wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.