Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Corn Confusion

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

The ladies are joined by Shane Cole and Joel Redhead to chat all about their recent Snowdon trek, and share a sneak peek at what’s coming next. Plus, there's some lovely messages including a word mix-up that has us all rethinking corn... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh hi Greg James. Hi Alice Levine. People might know you from the rounders podcast you do. It's cricket and people will know you I guess from oh my dad's in a scandal, whatever. Rude. Anyway, whatever podcasts you listen to you are going to love this. We're here to tell you about the UK's biggest podcast festival, Crossed Wires. Great radio voice. It's three days of your favourite podcast shows all in iconic venues across Sheffield from the 4th to the 6th of July.

Let me give you some of the line up. Go on. So Grimmy and Angela Hartnett are going to be doing Dish live. Amazing. We're also going to have We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson. On the Sofa. The Corrie one. Secret Mum Club. And Drunk Women Solving Crime.

We should also say We Have Hell By Sex To My Boss but it sold out so quickly I'm almost loathe to mention it. Well then don't mention it but actually I'm glad you did because that's a reminder if you don't get tickets now you might not get them. Crossed Wires is a weekend of live podcast shows but also free performances, after parties. We're generally just gonna have a really lovely time. Tickets are on sale now head to crossedwires.live to get yours. That's crossed, C-R-O-S-S-E-D, wires, the usual spelling, then a full stop, then the word live. Is that clear? His brains and beauty. Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina.

And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursdays episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. You were smiling because I was going to say about your bits and bobs. You didn't squeeze my bits and bobs. Sorry. I was ready to win.

I was so in the zone then, wasn't I? I was really, really into the script. I missed it. I'll touch your bits if you touch mine. And we've got some special guests today. So shall we jump on in? We're so pleased to welcome two incredible guests to the Secret Mom Club today. They've walked, I want to say 500 miles. It's not quite that many. Well, it was a bloody lot. They've walked 140

miles for a very special charity. You might have seen them on TikTok, on the news, on the radio, because let me tell you, they are everywhere. We've got Shane Cole from Coventry and Joel Redhead from Hull. Welcome to the secret mom club. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hey, bitches. Hi. Where are you right now? Shane's in the kitchen. Joel's in the kitchen. Joel's in his bed. I'm in my living room. I'm trying to perfectly like position my head because I've got a screw that is lodged in my wall and I don't want it to kind of be spotted.

Got a screw loose in the wall. So you're back now, but tell us about the challenge that you've been doing. So we have been, Shane came up with an idea basically where we should walk from Coventry to Snowdon and then climb the mountain at Snowdon. Originally, he was gonna do it on his own, which I'm pretty sure now he's happy that he didn't.

But he came to me and said, is there any charities close to your heart that you'd like to do it for? And my sister recently suffered the loss of her son. And he was basically born. And he was his heart was beating when he was born. And he passed away shortly after. And after after this happened, we was all of our family was really concerned for her well-being and how she was gonna heal from it. And there's a charity in Hull where I'm from called Chasing Rainbows who they've helped her

and her husband have supported her in every way possible, going to support groups, she's been connecting with other families that have been through the same thing and they've kind of brought her out the other side. So we chose them to raise the money for just to use our platforms really as a big thank you. Honestly, when I tell you, I have cried, like I spoke to the boys yesterday, Shane and Joel both shared the journey on TikTok. So like every step or like as much as they had signal and stuff. So we got to

share the whole journey from start to finish of them walking. And honestly, it's been the most emotional roller coaster. And I literally said to Joel yesterday, I was like, you can't watch anything right now because what we saw was the most emotional, powerful, selfless, incredible journey of just, and I don't want to be rude, of just two lads, just two dads on the road, literally, it's like Max and Paddy, like it was just watching just two lads that had no, you know, the boys go to the gym and they do like, you agree with me, you do like workouts, workouts in the gym, but they were just two lads on the road and I said to Joel, you can't watch it now because it was so emotional for everybody.

They carried the weight of the internet, not only doing this massive, huge walk, but carried the weight of the internet. And it was just so hard to watch. Then fucking Joel got me again last night. And I said to him, it was so emotional doing the whole walk. And I said to him, don't watch it. So then he loads a video. I tried to watch one video and I'm crying.

It's crying again. But talk us through because I love hearing it from both perspectives. Obviously the charity is so important, right? Yeah, the charity is really important. See, I didn't know nothing about this. I've known Joel for a couple of years now, it's on social media, but I was never really close to seeing him in the person or anything. But the last three months spent a lot of time with each other. And we just had this bond. It's just honestly, if you've seen the videos, you'd understand. I'm not the dad, he's not the annoying little brother, but he keeps spirits high. So when I decided I wasn't wanting to do something like this on my own, Brogan told me straightaway,

she was like, you can't do it on your own. Like text Joel. And then I felt quite guilty because I text Joel and I didn't really understand. He's never spoke to me about like losing Jude. And so I didn't understand until obviously they welcomed me into the family. I heard all these stories. And I think that gave me like the push to like, to it for them. I feel like really lucky that they've invited me to do this and get involved. So I've seen personally myself how much it meant to every single one of them, not only his sister, Alex as well as her husband, but then all the family. So I felt really lucky to be involved. But then again, after day one,

me and him were sitting in the pub after doing 30 miles. He looked at each of us and we're like, what have we done? Literally, what have we done? So how did it go? How many days did it take you? Was it harder than you thought it was going to be? What was the hardest bit? Talk us through it. We obviously did five days, five days walking. We had to walk 30 miles each day of the five days. And then on the sixth day, when we got to Snowdon, that's when we did the climb. Light chain just said the first day was,

it was weird because the first 20 mile, we absolutely smashed it. We knocked hours off our time. And we was like, we're looking at each other like this is a breeze. The time, because we was having so much fun, the fact was walking 15 hours every day. And the time was seems to just be like evaporating. And then on that first day, the last

six mile must have took us the same amount of time it took us to the 20 mile. And we got, it's really funny because we got, we had these massive, we had massive bags on the first day. And in these massive bags, we have tons of medical stuff that we took because we did go quite prepared in that aspect. But for some weird reason, even though we was in tons of pain, we didn't use any of the medical stuff on the first day. And at the end of the first day, we went in the pub, we had some food and I was getting a headache. And because I was getting a headache, I took some ibuprofen and paracetamol. And then we finished our meal and we had to walk to go where we were going to set up our tent, didn't we Shane?

Yeah. And when we walked to set up this tent, it was like nothing had happened and we could walk fine. And so on day two, we realized that was because of the pain relief and from that day on pain relief became our best friend and without ibuprofen and paracetamol, we would never have ever finished that. When I tell you, Joel's bag was bigger than him. He was having to hunch over because the bag was so heavy. Shane just had this piddly little bag with his plastic bottle.

Shane had, Joel had things strapped to it. It was huge. It was as big as, and he was hunched over trying to walk with his bags, come day two, when everyone was like, oh thank god they got rid of the bags, because someone dropped their bags. That is my fault really, because whenever, Shane will tell you, whenever I go anywhere, I have to go with like my big toiletry bag. I'm not like a man's man like Shane, I took like, I took a disposable razor and shower, shaving gel. I took a Derma planning blades to do my eyebrows. So the fact that I had tons of stuff was all my fault. But you never used that mirror? You brought a mirror and you never used it? I forgot about it. I've not seen it since. I don't know where the mirror is. In Shane's car? I don't know. How was that? Oh, because it was that hot.

I brought the mirror, the travel mirror, so I could style my hair. But because it was that hot, I had to wear hats every day except the first day and the last day. And obviously we treat ourselves to a hotel on the very last day, the night before, so we could kind of chain out some time with his family. I had a bit of time with myself, got my hair started for the next day. But yeah, I forgot about the travel mirror. I was going to ask whether it was when the weather was really hot because you both look quite sun-kissed.

Oh, bless Joel. He's got a little rash on his face. Like his face is blistered, isn't it, Joel? Yeah, my face is blistered. Both of our lips are, like, at the minute they might not look bad because I've been lathering them in Vaseline, but both of our lips are in absolute tightness. Oh my God. I bet when you saw the weather forecast you were like... I'd have to give up the Vaseline. I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd leave them dry. I can't handle Vaseline. No, but honestly, him as well with weather, he was still wearing sometimes a jumper and

I was in my t-shirt and everything. He loves, he loves that he, I'd rather do it in like a cool kind of weather. He hated it, didn't he? Yeah. I'm the type of person where if it's not like 25 degrees, I'm freezing cold. What made me laugh is there was a video, Shane done a video saying about Joel being in a jumper and then Joel literally said to him, you wait, you wait, you're going to be wearing a jumper. Every video after that one, Shane had a jumper. Shane was like, it's a t-shirt, whether there's two types of men in this world,

or two types of people in the world that wear a jumper all the time and shorts and a t-shirt, then every video after, Shane was just in a jumper. He literally put that jumper back on about two minutes after filming his video stating he was a big masculine man. He just does things like that to embarrass me. But I'd love to know where we're at because obviously there was so much support for you.

I know I've said it and I've said it repeatedly and I feel like I'm a broken record, but it was honestly the most incredible thing and it just brought such a wonderful community of people on social media. Every single post we watched, I was reposting, I said this to everyone that come through, I was reposting it, I was sharing it. Everybody was doing the same. But I would love to know how much we currently stand because I don't think you know, do you? No. No. So Emma doesn't know. And I'd love for you to tell us where you're at at the moment as to how much you've raised.

This is gonna be awkward. Do you want an exact one or close round? No, no, just rough. Just there. Okay, so we started off wanting at 5,000 pound and we literally was on the phone and we didn't realize how big it was gonna be and we didn't think.

Well, I thought we thought we was asking too much of people but now we're at 115,000. Oh my god. Isn't that just so insanely powerful? Like even they thought raising £5,000 was a lot. It's going to be too much. And they were happy to walk 140 miles up a mountain and back for £5,000. People's generosity is mind blowing. Incredible. But I think what makes people want to donate is seeing what you had to go through and seeing how hard it was. I love how you just tacked on climb Snowdon at the end. Like most people just go and do that as a thing. You've walked a marathon for five days and you're like, now let's go and climb a mountain. How did you feel when you finished

it? The Snowdon, for me, I don't know what Shane thinks, but for me, there was so much adrenaline for a start, but the Snowden thing at the end was like a bit of a celebration. It was obviously difficult, but we were so high on life from what had happened on social media

and how much had been raised that it just seemed like a bit of a uphill uphill climb and me and Shane was obviously side by side the whole way up the whole way down because you can get a tram down as well but we was like we we aren't doing all the things we've come too far now yeah so yeah the Snowdon thing I just thought it was like more enjoyable than anything it was nice to be doing something slightly different to climbing, just walking on the side of the road and and stuff. What did you think, Shay?

Yeah, well, I know. I think what helped us out the day before as well, because where we stopped on our second and last day, everyone was like, how come you're saying that you've only got nine miles to Snowdon? They were like, put it in the road. It's like another 25 miles. And I was like what? What we didn't know on our last day, we were just putting our maps on the iPhone, we had to climb four mountains to get over to Snowdon. So already when we was climbing, I was looking at him because I already did Snowdon,

but like years ago, and I was saying to him, I said, I promise you now, mate, the route we're doing is so much easier than what we're climbing now. And I don't know honestly how we got through that second one last day. No, the last day of actual walking for Snowden, because it was awful. I went to go through a shortcut as well. And I went all into this. Did you fall in that lake? It was like a swamp. Yeah I fell into a lake. The video cut out and everyone was just like what the fuck happened? Did he fall in? I'll tell you. I feel like nobody knows this. This is like important information. This is an

exclusive. I am really, I'm like, when it comes to like creating content and stuff, I am kind of winging it. My phone storage always fills up. So as Shane's on this branch. It wasn't even a branch, it was like a twig. Yeah, before Shane falls, I look down at my phone and it says iPhone storage full. So we never got the second part of the video. And there's people who was commenting saying,

why didn't you show us you're leaving a hook or where's the part two? And there literally wasn't one. We wasn't meaning to do that. It's just my phone ran out of storage. Well, we're happy to confirm Shane is alive and well. Did you fall in? No, my foot did. I managed to go

back off, but the best thing about it, what's even funnier, he walked a little bit further on and did stepping stones. So he just jumped over the stepping stones. It's me trying to wobble along this little branch like that to get over. I did spot the stepping stones well before he even got on that blog. Did you really? I bet. Jake, did you really? Tell them that's not true. You've raised an incredible amount of money, so congratulations and let our listeners know where they can find out more and still donate.

How they can still donate? How they can still donate? How they still donate? So you can, we've got four different social media accounts. There's been some content put on The Calls Official Zero, some put on Shane Call Official, Redhead Residence, and Joel Ryan Redhead across mainly TikTok, but Instagram and Facebook too. And in our bios, we have the link there. And Shane has just, me and Shane have just been speaking because we are planning on doing something else very,

very soon. So that's going to be announced as well. Do we announce it on here? Oh, go on. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited. This is huge. Soap is our biggest supporter ever, mate. Honestly, I'm so excited. Go on. This is huge. Sophie's been our biggest supporter ever, mate. Honestly, I love how she's like, even to the fact of like little things like me wearing

jumpers after I've got my t-shirt on, that's like tells you that she's watched every video. When I tell you, I was there from day dot. Invested. I was invested. I was fully in. Colby was on his school trip. I was fully invested. I had five days to pass some time. So you're still there now because I was shocked to hear that you even knew about these blisters

on my face. I literally mentioned that in a tiny segment of a video that was about five minutes long. I'm committed to it. Honestly, I'm really committed to it. Don't drop the bomb, Charlotte. Go on then. Let's to it. Honestly, I'm really committed to it. Don't drop the bombshell. Go on then. Let's do it. So what we're going to do now is we're going to do the seven wonders of the world together. But, but.

Not fucking working. We're not doing it again. We're not doing it all in one. It's going to be like a series. So we're going to be probably doing it once a month or something like that. But what we're going to do, we're going to get dropped out there and we're not allowed to use like public transport. So it's going to be like us getting like tuk-tuks or getting like mopeds or walking. Is Shane and Joel do Race Across the World?

Yes! Yes! This is huge! And obviously the idea that we're going, I feel like people like seeing man and Shane's different personalities blended together. So I don't know, for example, there's like a wonder of the world in India. So our idea is kind of me and Shane and how random and weird we are just being dropped in the middle of all these people and walking down the streets and reacting to everything

and trying their foods and just seeing everything because it's the same as this. It's something for us to experience while hopefully getting other people excited from home about experiencing it with us. And in two weeks, in two, three weeks time, we're going to Dallas, Texas together for a ghost hunt as well. Do you want to say how many are big fans? It's definitely not the last people are going to see of us together, which makes me happy as well because you can probably see how much I fell in love with Shane as well. But yeah, no, it's been incredible

and it's been fantastic to watch and we're so incredibly grateful you took the time to chat with us today. I know you're probably super busy. You've been busy on the radio, but no, thank you both so much. Thank you so much. When I tell you I'm gonna be your number one,

watching you on your race across the world, I'm not kidding, I really will. She'll be there in India. Waiting for you in your race across the world. I'm not kidding, I really will. She'll be there in India waiting for you in your land. I appreciate you asking us to come on. Thank you for everything you've done, honestly. It was the most incredible, selfless thing you could have both ever done in the whole entire world and the memories. I think not only the memories that you'll cherish, your family will cherish, Jude's name will live on in everybody, but it's just been fantastic for us to all watch

this journey with you both. So thank you. Oh, that's nice. Thanks, though. Jude's name will live on in everybody, but it's just been fantastic for us to watch this journey with you both. So thank you. Ah, that's nice. Don't so. How fabulous were they? So nice, weren't they? So, so lovely. I loved them. But we're going to be picking up our normal episode after this short break.

This week, I'm joined by etiquette expert William Hansen and radio DJ Jordan North from the hugely popular Help I Sexed With My Boss podcast. Are we feeding these people? Yes. Oh yes, I think you've got to put on something nice. A little munchet. Munchet? Oh my gosh, that means I can be a nickname.

That's exciting. Join me, Catherine Beauxhart, as I sit down with some very special guests to discuss their dream do in It's My Party. Just look for It's My Party. Just look for It's My Party on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts or wherever you choose to listen. Welcome back. It's time for another Correspondence corner. So Emma, you went in high. You ready to take it away with number one?

Yeah. I'm gonna wet my whistle. Okay. This is from Sean in Suffolk. It says, hello, Sophie and Emma. I spent the weekend decorating the hallway and decided to listen to the podcast from the beginning. What the, that's number one.

And OMG. I'd forgotten how young Colby, Dottie and Joseph were back then. Oh, I know. You were talking about sleepless nights. Nothing's changed for me. And the time Dots came out of school with her knickers over her leggings. Yes.

What a ledge. I howled with laughter. And now you've got Renly and Sadie, isn't it wild? How quickly time flies. It really does. Keep up the brilliant show. It never fails to make me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. Keep being you.

Oh, Sean. I hope you didn't cry on this episode. I was welling up. She's got a long way to go. She's starting at the you. Oh, Sean. I hope you didn't cry on this episode. I was welling up. She's got a long way to go. She's starting at the beginning. Oh, God bless her heart. What a sweetheart. Well, thanks for listening.

That's real dedication that is, because that's two years worth. Yeah. It's nearly our birthday, isn't it? It is nearly our birthday. And our anniversary. It's your anniversary today. I meant the birthday of us as a couple.

Oh, but I was thinking of your marriage anniversary. Yes, sorry. Got to keep Stefan in here. It's my actual anniversary. Yes. My wedding anniversary today. But more importantly, it's nearly our anniversary. It is your marriage anniversary. Yes, sorry. It's my actual anniversary, my wedding anniversary today. But more importantly, it's nearly our anniversary. It is nearly our anniversary. That's obviously more important than your wedding.

I actually nearly forgot the date today. My mum was like, are you going to be seeing each other? I was like, no, I'm going to work and Stefan's playing golf. I thought you were going to say, yeah, I'm seeing Safina. It's Wednesday. No, I mean your husband. No, it'll be the same as every day when we never see each other. Thank you so much, Sian. Thank you, Sian. That's honestly so kind of you. God bless you.

Enjoy all the episodes to come. All right, next we have Chloe in Kent. So just listening to this week's podcast about the fucking ice cream message. And it reminded me of something I did as a kid. When I was about seven or eight, I really got into the TV show, Friends. Yes, very young, I know.

But my stepdad at the time watched it, so I would also watch it. There was an episode where Chandler had upset Joey and wants to send him a gift and says, I don't know where I would get a basket of porn. And I wasn't sure what that meant. A few days later, we went up to London as a family and we were out for dinner. We ordered a basket of corn on the cob. And suddenly I remembered the porn quote from Friends. I proudly said, Mummy, is this like a basket of porn? Is porn like corn? I have no idea what my mum said next, but I imagine she was mortified. Hope this makes you chuckle. I'm mummy to Oli, who was born three days after Renna's. Oh, how adorable. Another little March baby. Another March baby. We're loving the Marchie babies, aren't we?

Oh, Ollie. Oh, that's so funny. This is literally like, so we watch like American TV, you know, like the porn, the porn shop in America. It's literally called the porn shop. The porn shop, yeah. But it is... P-A-W-N. Yeah. So it's porn-ing. It's not as in...

Like selling. Selling. You used vintage, whatever item. The P-O-R-N shop is different. Yes, but it's when you go into a restaurant and Dottie was like, I'll just take the battered porn. But, um, prawn, I think she means, I think she means prawn. And then she was like, what is porn? Um, and then Dottie was like, oh, dad's watching porn.

I was, ah! Yeah, porn, the porn shop. Oh, okay. That's... Oh, dad's watching porn. I was, ah! Yeah, porn, the porn shop. Oh, okay, that's. See when you rush out to the thing, like, what's on the telly? And he's like, I'm just watching that trade show,

you know, the porn shop. Oh, right, okay. Doctor's just told me you're watching porn. Just in the living room at tea time. It's just cash. Someone done a very good trick with that, didn't they? Yes, very clever. They knew what they were doing, didn't they?

They did, they did. Thank you so much, Chloe. God bless you. So innocent. And big love to Ollie. Yeah. Oh, very clever. They knew what they were doing, didn't they? They did. They did. Thank you so much, Chloe. God bless you. And big love to Ollie. Yeah. Oh, baby Ollie. All right, one last message here from Therese in Scotland. It says, Hi, Safina and Emma, I wanted to write in after hearing about the listener who was upset after relocating her family.

Yes, this one's done really well. We've got a lot of responses. Yeah, we have. Some lots of lovely advice. Yeah, so this was about the listener that moved to a new town, but her 12 year old daughter was struggling to settle in. So this says, I absolutely 100% know how she feels. I moved back to my hometown in Scotland

after living down south for nine years with my now 12 year old twins. I thought it would be an easy move, but I felt so guilty for uprooting them from everything they knew. Eventually I decided to move us back down south thinking it would fix everything and we'd get our old life back. I was wrong. Two weeks after we returned, I had to move us back down south, thinking it would fix everything and we'd get our old life back.

I was wrong. Two weeks after we returned, I had a complete breakdown. I couldn't eat, sleep, talk, or look after the kids. It was the worst month of my life. We had to move back to Scotland again just to get support from family. Even though I was returning to a familiar place, I still found it incredibly hard,

but I made a decision. I had to rebuild our life. It was tough, but I got the kids into football teams, chatted to other parents, planned social events with family and kept going. Now eight months on, oh, this is recent. Oh wow, this is really recent. The kids are settled and happy and we've built a new life.

It wasn't easy, but I pushed myself through it. I also did something for myself. I signed up for the London Marathon. No way. Amazing. I nearly called out, but I'm proud to say I completed the marathon for the first time. She must have just done it the other week. This is huge, literally the other day.

Wow. She said, my advice, talk to your kids about the positives of where you live, even if you're not feeling them yourself, throw yourself into things, plan social bits, get to know your area and do something for you. My kids have moaned about their new school ever since we moved. And then on their birthdays, when I offered them a day off, they chose to go to school to see their friends. Oh gosh. That's when I realized it couldn't be all bad. Remember, you are your kid's safe space.

They'll unload the negative with you, even if they don't always share the good stuff. This, what an amazing message. Beautiful, beautiful story from Therese. Therese, well done, well done. You've done like a whole 360 on life. So you relocated, you moved back, you moved back, you put the children into clubs, you signed up for a marathon. You did social things, you trained for a marathon, you ran a marathon.

This is huge. There's so much in here. I feel like you just deserve a huge congratulations. Yeah, massive congratulations. What strength? I feel like she just listened to her body though. She found the full power right inside her as she pulled through. She pulled through, she dug deep. Oh my God, Therese. Wow.

Massive congratulations. And how lovely to hear the babies. That really warmed my heart. That really warmed my heart. To be fair though, I don't, does any children really enjoy going to school? Yeah, I love to school. Did you?

Yeah. Oh, mine every day say, oh, we have to go to school. I think it was a bit like, oh, I said school today, I don't want to go, but actually overall. Oh, they only ever say that. They don't ever say, oh, I hate school. Yeah. I don't see, does say she hates school.

She's like, I just rather stay at home. Yeah, it's cause home's fun. Home is fun, I won't lie. It was like, I never wanted to go and sleep over a friend's house because I was like, home's more fun. Like I'm going to have my parents are cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's the problem. When you make homes such a cool, safe and fun space, I hope they never leave. They never want to leave. That's your plan. Isn't it? I see. I know what you're doing. I just want it to be that when they do leave that they always come back. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Me. I just want it to be that when they do leave, that they always feel safe to come back.

Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Me and Stefan are always like, how do you make your adult kids be friends with you? And I'm like, I don't think you can force it. I think you've got to play it cool. You just got to chill. Yeah, but if they don't want to like hang with us,

I'm going to be devoured. I literally, when Colby was on the school trip and he come back and he was like, I was too busy really to miss you. Oh yeah, I was the same. I was the same. But then later on he did say, mama did cry because I missed you the first night. Not none of the other. Then I thought fuck her. Oh, well thank you.

What wonderful messages. Such wonderful messages. Thank you. And I hope our original listener will hear that. Yes. And take some hope. I bet she's still taking, taking on the advice. And I hope you're doing well. Yeah.

I hope she's doing really well. I do think about her a lot. If it's not too much to us. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Let's get into the secret of the week. So Emma, what have you got today?

Hi, girlies. I'm not a mum yet, but I know I'd like to be one day. Oh, love that. I'm 26 and in a relationship with a man who's 30. We live together, but in the grand scheme of things, we've only been together two years this August. Here's my quandary. Now that I'm in a serious relationship, people keep asking if I'm thinking about having children

and I get told constantly that my biological clock is ticking. I hate that so much. At 26? Calm down. Geez, leave the girl alone. Fuck, man, she's still young. Honestly, my partner and I are just enjoying life as a couple for now. We do want children eventually, but not right now. That said, I've started getting really stressed about the idea

of having kids in my 30s. Everyone has such strong opinions about how hard it gets after 30 and that you should do it sooner rather than later. Thank you very much. In Welsh. Yeah, she put a little Welsh bag on there. I literally said that's Welsh and then you didn't say nothing. I was like, oh gosh. That means thank you very much in Spanish. I would have gone. Yes it does. Yes. Yes. She's correct. Oh no, Bethann do not worry. Oh, do you know what?

There is so much and again, this is only ever my opinion, our opinion, because I feel like we are very much the same on this in how we feel about this is that no time is the right time. Yeah. I don't feel like there's ever a time that you wake up and you go, do you know what? Now's a really great time to have a baby in our life. Even if you think that, there will always be someone in the relationship that isn't quite, I believe, quite there. But I feel like there is no, what am I trying to say? Like 26, to me is still really young. I didn't have Renly, sorry, I had Colby at 28, Dottie at 30, Renly 35. Were we 35? Coming from two women who had babies in their 20s and in their 30s. We were nearly 36. We were 35, 36 that summer. But like my sister just had a baby

when she was 39, I want to say. Obviously, you know, this annoying thing in society in general about turning 30 and that being like a real milestone. And it was a bit like that with my friends. Everyone was getting engaged and married. The year I turned 30, I went to 10 weddings. That says a lot. People are like, I'm 30, I wanna be married.

And in my 30s, I'm gonna have kids. And like, and that whole like wave just kind of like, that happened with all of my friends. It was like, we got engaged, we got married, everyone had one child, everyone had children. It's just too much pressure. It's a lot of pressure from society. And I think when you're that age,

you always feel like the clock is ticking, that you're really grown up, that you're older than you are. And I think it's a really patronizing thing to say, but with the hindsight of being only 10 years older than you, Bethann, but 26 is honestly no age. You've got time and don't listen. It's nobody else's business. There isn't a time. Don't listen to external pressures because it's not up to anybody else. Have a baby when you're ready to have a baby.

When you're ready, when you're in the relationship with the person that you want to have a baby with, I just feel like there's so much pressure around having children when there should be zero pressure. There should be zero pressure. There's no right time. There's no wrong time. Obviously there is times that it wouldn't be great to have a baby, but there is people that have had children really young and now looking back and you see mothers that say, oh gosh, I had a baby when I was 15. I had a baby when I was 16. They done a phenomenal job. Like there's women I've seen having babies in their 45. My grandma had my mom at 55. 55. I mean, that's probably unusual. And my mom's turned out great. That is not. That's a very, that's unusual. Yes. Unusual

circumstance, but she's turned out great. I just think there's a lot of pressure on as soon as I found pregnant, and then I don't know if you had it with yours, but they were like, oh, you're a geriatric mom. Yeah, after 35. Yeah, after 35, you're a geriatric mom. No, I'm not, I'm just a mom having a baby. And there's people that spend a lot of time,

a lot of time going through fertility, you know, help with fertility and go through IVF and go through a really, really long journey. Some people get, it takes 10 years, you know, 15 years to get just their beautiful bundle of joy. And who the fuck are we to turn around and go, Oh my gosh, having a baby in your forties when they've spent all of that time falling pregnant. She's stressed about the idea of having kids in her thirties. Honestly, you've got nothing to worry about. I feel like we're being, are we being negative?

Are we being negative? Are we being overbearing older sisters? We are obviously so with you, Beth Ann. Sisters, not aunties, probably. Yeah, sisters. Yeah, well, enough to be aunties. I just think, Beth Ann, we're not- I just feel strongly about the-

Yeah, I feel strongly. People putting pressure on you when you're like, no age, honestly, you've got time. And I think it's more important to have a baby when you're ready than to just put a random figure on it and be like, I want to be pregnant by the time I'm 30. Yeah. Because I think the pressure on yourself makes the whole process not enjoyable and the whole making a baby process from start to finish should be a very enjoyable experience. And I think putting the pressure on it to set yourself times and guides as to where you want to be takes the kind of the fun

out of it. So if people do have any negative thoughts towards you having a baby at 26 or saying that you're going to be too old when you're 30, just put them to the back of your mind and just you do you boo. Yeah. I mean, she says she's enjoying her time in a relationship. So you just do that. Yeah. You just enjoy your relationship. Go with the ways that yours. Let me tell you, it's not the same after you have a baby.

Yes, it is very different. But you make the most of that. But I'm not here to share. I'm a true believer that the babies completely made me. Like they changed my whole life. Yeah. I wouldn't be without them. I absolutely adore them. I adore being a mum, but it has to be right when it's right for you. So you enjoy it, my girl. Enjoy your relationship. Enjoy your

little bubble and put them hater blockers on. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck the haters, I say. Block them out. Block them out. Have you ever confused porn for corn? For corn? They use corn don't they in porn? Do they? Who's they? I don't know. The pornos. The porn people. Have you been watching? The people that do porn. Listen. Right. That's why I'm not on TikTok. I have not confused porn for corn. That's not safe. Let us know if you have. Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. If you fancy coming to see us live, come join us at Crossed Wires Festival in Sheffield.

It's an afternoon show, so it's perfect for getting out for the day and getting back for bedtime. Tickets are available at crossedwires.live. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday and we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. So we'll see you next time on the...

Secret Mom Club! This week I'm joined by etiquette expert William Hansen and radio DJ Jordan North from the hugely popular Help I Sexed With My Boss podcast. Are we feeding these people? Yes. Oh yes, I think you've got to put on something nice. A little munchet. Munchet?

Oh my gosh, that means like a lesbian nickname. That's exciting. Join me, Catherine Bohart, as I sit down with some very special guests to discuss their dream do in It's My Party. Just look for It's My Party on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you choose to listen.