Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Cringy Car-aoke

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

The ladies are in full car karaoke mode after one mum shares her go-to belters, and they hear from another mum with advice on finishing maternity leave. Plus, a dad in the club has written in with a heartfelt secret that’s sure to tug at your heartstrings. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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But we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. All your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? Yeah? Yeah. Oh, okay. I imagine I was like, nah.

Don't fancy it actually. Delayed reaction. Nah. Nah, not this week. See you next week, guys. Right, it's time for another Correspondence Corner! Do you know I've got an exceptionally long tongue? Have you? Yeah, I can touch my nose with my tongue.

No, you can't. You can. Go. Under pressure. I haven't actually done this for a while, so. Wow. I think we've had this conversation on here before. Now I've got wet tash.

I feel like I'm having deja vu if you look in your nose. Anyway. Weird. Right, take it away with number one. Okay, this one's from Polly. Hello, Polly. She says, oh, Sophie and Emma,

I completely understand how you're feeling about the babies turning one. When my little one hit that milestone, it felt like the end of an era. I couldn't believe how quickly the year had gone. Such a mix of emotions. I was so proud of them, but at the same time, I wanted to cling to those baby days just a little longer.

It's such a special moment though. And the next stage is just as amazing. It is, isn't it? It is, but it's just. So hard. It's sad. It just doesn't, I feel like that feeling will never just feel normal. It is, isn't it? It is, but it's just... So odd. It's sad. It just doesn't, I feel like that feeling will never just feel normal. I know. Like it's wild to think.

I don't know if everyone feels that way though. Like some of my friends that have had babies, they're like, oh yeah, I didn't really love the newborn phase, like, or didn't really love the little baby bit, like kind of happy to move on. I prefer them when they're toddlers and they can like chat and have a personality.

And I'm like, what? Wow. I love the snuggles. Oh, the snuggles are too much. Them little do, do, do, do, do. That feels like it's gone in a heartbeat for me. The scrunch. The scrunch was like immediately gone.

The newborn scrunch. Just feels like it's gone so incredibly quickly. And you look back at the clothes. Like I was looking at backers and pictures the other day and I was like, I remember when those clothes were really big for her. And obviously now they're tiny. Like not three months.

Yeah, but like, oh God, I just, every little thing about it, I love. It's just too much. I can't, I haven't, but I'm not bringing myself to do the memory books yet. Oh no. I need to sort out all sticking everything into a memory book.

It's just, it's too much. I wish I'd done more like chronicling of stuff, like better with my pictures and like writing stuff down. Like with Joseph, I wrote like a little bit of a log. Of like, yeah. Of like, I wrote it on my phone and I've never done anything with it, but I just thought, oh, this will be fun

to look back on one day. So whenever I had a moment, I would like just write down like what he was doing at that moment, what his like new favorite skills were or his favorite foods or what words he was saying. Second child, obviously. I don't think I've done it with all three of mine to be honest. No clue. And I've done it with all three of mine, to be honest.

No clue, and I stopped doing it with Joseph after like several months, because I was like, I haven't got time for this anymore. And then obviously I had another baby, and I just didn't have time. I think Colby's was too stressful. I think I was too stressed. Yeah.

And then Dotty, I was too busy with Colby and Dotty to do hers. Yeah. And then Renly, again. Again, too busy. Life is busy. I know. When have I got time now to sit down and be like. But I think now it's easier

because you can document everything on your Instagram, can't you? Yes, I suppose. You can make a digital footprint. I suppose there is that. As to their life. But it's just like boring, boring shit that I probably wouldn't post on social media that I just like to look back and be like,

remember when you like hit me in the face with dog poo. Yeah, ate dog poo or smacked me in the face with that wooden toy, good times. Good times, good times. Those are the ones we'll remember. But we appreciate you. Yeah, thanks Polly. It's gonna be fucking tough, isn't it? I'm gonna be an emotional wreck.

Are you gonna cry? I feel like it's gonna be the time that we're gonna see you cry. It might be the one that gets me. I mean, I did say when I returned to work last week, I did have a little cry. You did. I believe in Sadie.

And she's talking about number three. We'll see. We'll see. All right, this one is from Rachel. It says, hi, Sophie and Emma. After hearing Hannah's secret about having to go back to work and Emma's experience, I just had to write in

because I've been there and I know exactly how you're feeling. Going back to work after maternity leave is so tough. I remember feeling heartbroken at the thought of leaving my little one, but it does get easier. What helped me was doing some trial runs before my first day, leaving my baby with family or at nursery for short periods to get us both used to it.

Also having little comforts like looking at photos or planning a special cuddle time when I got home really made a difference. Sending lots of love to her and you both. That's what I used to do with Chris. So Chris used to have bath time. That was his time because he used to go out to work and I always felt like I was taking everything from him.

I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about that. I had a lot of time with the children that Chris never had. And I used to make sure that I designated times for him to have the babies. One, it was great for me to then have time. On your own. Yeah, my own time. So I used it as a reflection of me just having,

whether it be for 10 minutes or whether it be for an hour, just have a hot drink, sit in the bedroom and just leave him to have his time with the babies. But also it was his time to have dad time, to do the bath time. And he used to do bath time, story time and bedtime. And that was his time to have dad time, you know, to do the bath time and he used to do bath time, story time and bedtime and that was his time to be with the children but it is great advice.

Yeah, I think taking like, especially if you've got- I couldn't look at pictures, I don't think, I think I'll be a balling mess. Oh, that was the thing that got me when I was doing that Instagram post, like looking back, especially looking back at pictures from like when they were so little and just thinking about how fast the time's gone. I guess I did have a little bit of a trial run because I was started leaving Sadie at nursery when I was coming here to do this

So that was nice. And also she's got an older brother that goes there So I'm like, I'm not worried about her when she's there. She's fully it's more just about Not even the separation. It's it's just about it being the end of an era. That's the thing for me It's it's like the my next me. It's like the milestone. It's like the next stage. And the bit leading up to this seems like it's forever. It's like, gosh, I've got nine months off now with her. And then when that's literally gone in a flash.

I saw like a horrible stat, which was like, I don't know if we spoke about this. It was something like 75% of the time you ever spend with your children will be before they start school. As in like, get that time in, because when they start school, you're hardly going to see them. And those years, those four years are so short. And it's so hard, like where social media has been such a big, like I was saying on

my Instagram the other day about how it's been such a massive part of my life. Like I started doing social media when Dottie was 18 months and Colby was three. So they were, sorry, Colby was four. So they were four and she was nearly two. And to think now they're going to be seven and nine. And as much as everybody says, Oh, she doesn't do much on social media anymore. It's not that it's harder. It's just that it's so different. But being that they're both in school, the time I have with them is so precious. Like I cannot tell you how much like if I ever miss like if I miss something or I've had a long day up here or I've gone out for the day and I don't see them and I miss them before but the guilt that is riddled on me that I

cannot, I cannot and I just get so excited when I wake up in the morning and I get to see them because I think no one really talks about when they actually go to school, and yes, you may be busy because you're back at work, but you just never shut off from thinking, like, the time has just gone so quickly. Like, how am I sat with near on a 10-year-old? Like, he's nine, he's going to be 10 next year. Like, it's mad to think.

So now I just try and stop and just... Because technically, in the morning, when they wake up at six, I get them for maybe two hours in the morning before I take them to school. And then when they come home from school, we're home from school between sort of half three, four o'clock.

I've only got another two and a half hours with Dot and then yeah, three hours with Colby. I've started picking Sadie up early from nursery. So five hours of a day. That's not much. That's why I Sadie up early from nursery. So five hours of a day. That's not much. That's why I pick her up early from nursery compared to Joseph. People are like, just, I do two pickups now

because I want my hours with her without him. I feel like that's only fair because when he's there she doesn't get a look in, poor baby. So it's nice that we get our little hours in the afternoon. But some of my friends were like, just put them both in all day. Like give yourself a break. And I'm like, no, I wanna see her.

Otherwise me and her get no time alone together. Which you had that with Jojo. Yeah, which I had with Joseph. So, yeah. It is hard. It's a tough one. But we appreciate you, Rachel. Thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you. All right, another one here from Ellie in response to Megan's secret about singing in the car with her teenage sister. Yes! Says, hi, Sophie and Emma, I just had to write in because I am 100% that cringy mom too. I absolutely love belting out songs in the car

and honestly, embarrassing the kids is part of the fun. They might roll their eyes and act like it's the worst thing in the world, but deep down. I think they think you're cool as fuck. She said, I know they secretly love it. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Megan should definitely lean into it next time. Go full karaoke mode if you really want to make an impact. Here are my top three songs to belt out in the car. Come on girl.

Really? Yes. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Nice. Obviously, because you can do all the parts. I did the poor boy, don't know poor family, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby, oh baby The ultimate would be... Oh, I thought it was Let Me Go. It's Figaro. I think it is Let Me Go on one of them. Oh, I thought it was Let Me Go. But the ultimate would be if you get all members of your family singing all the different parts. Literally like Step Brothers. Take it away. She got a smile that it seems to me.

Sure, I'll take your word for it. I haven't seen any films. The other one is Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. Yeah, living on a prayer. Yeah, true. Take my hand. She said bonus points for dramatic hand gestures. Oh, living on a prayer. And Dancing Queen by ABBA.

Dancing queen, young and sweet, only 17. I was trying to go with ACON, but I never know what I'm singing. I'm like... It's the confidence I have with singing and when I have no idea what the fucking lyrics are. But I go for it. To be fair though, Colby's actually in a really good state at the moment where I give him

the phone and he picks off of the Spotify and we play it through the car and he actually really enjoys that. But my God, he put on some crazy shit. Something about being stuck in a Bugatti the other day. Sounded like Wreck-It Ralph. And he was like, I'm stuck in my Bugatti. Is it all from Fortnite? I don't know what it was. It was wild.

But I just went along with it and I thought, he's going to think I'm cool as fuck. Yeah, he should be like, yeah, I can't wait for that. I can't wait for that phase when he can actually listen to me. I'm never going to own a Bugatti, but let's along with it and I thought, he's gonna think I'm cool as fuck. Yeah, she'd be like, mm, yeah, I can't wait for that. I'm in my baguette, I can't wait for that phase when he can actually listen to me. I'm never gonna own a baguette, but let's go with it. The other day I did the streets, don't mug yourself. Don't mug yourself? How's it going?

Hold it down, boy, your head's getting burnt. I know you can't stop thinking of her, by all means you can, vibe with this girl, but just don't mug yourself, that, but just don't mug yourself. That's all, don't mug yourself. Anyway, I know all the words to that and I did it in the car. I was thinking of the one, the girl one.

Fippy, Fippy, you know it. I sing that to myself. And I said to Joseph, did you like that? After I finished it? And he went, yeah. So I thought, all right. Nice. The streets, we're in.

I do love it though when Colby says, how do you just know the lyrics to every song, mom? I just, I'm a lyrical genius. I'm cool as shit. Cause I'm cool as fuck. That's why. Cool as fuck. She says, keep singing, embarrassing them

and most importantly enjoy every second of it. Every second. Oh yes. Thank you, Ellie. We're with you. We appreciate you. So thank you for all of your messages. Let us know what your top songs are to belt out in the car.

Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. And next is time for one of your, your, your secrets. New year, new me. Season is here and honestly, we're already over it. Enter Felix, the healthcare company helping Canadians take a different approach to weight loss this year. Weight loss is more than just diet and exercise. It can be about tackling genetics, hormones, metabolism.

Felix gets it. They connect you with licensed healthcare practitioners online who'll create a personalized treatment plan that pairs your healthy lifestyle with a little help and a little extra support. Start your visit today at felix.ca. That's f-e-l-i-x dot c-a. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back.

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and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem, call 1-866-531-2600 or visit kinexontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until Jackpot is awarded, or 11 p.m. Eastern. Welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Mum Club. And you're all so good at sharing. So Emma, take it away. What's the secret of this week? It comes from Jake.

Hello Jake. He says, dear ladies, I've been with my fiance for six and a half years. When we got together, she already had a beautiful little girl who was three months old at the time. I fell head over heels for both of them and decided to step up and raise her daughter as my own. Her biological dad isn't in the picture.

Now she's nearly seven. So what's that? Yeah, six and a half years. And we also have a little boy who completes our family. But she has no idea I'm not her biological father. Every day I dread the moment I'll have to tell her the truth. So what's the best way to approach this and how do I do it in a way that won't break her heart? Oh my god, Jake, you've just melted the nation's hearts right now. Oh my god. How do you... Can we just take a moment for the fact that Jake's here listening to us? Yeah, thank you, Jake. What an absolute frigging legend.

I wonder what our male... how many male listeners we've got. If you're a man... Obviously, men welcome, but it's got to be mostly women. What a man. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a good man. Sing it again. Jake, what a leg. I think, I guess you've spoken to your fiance about this situation.

So I think, you know what, if he's not in the picture, I reckon you just go with the flow. Because right now, I think what doesn't know doesn't hurt them. Yeah. And I think she's still very diddy. She's little. Yeah, she is very little. And I think as much as I don't want to be that cliche person, I think when the time is right, it will feel right. Do you know what I mean? But there's so many things that you can do, isn't there, whether you were to look at adopting her

or whether you wanted to have the conversation, whether you wanna do it now while she's little or whether you may not want to do it until she gets bigger, you know? What's the like, I don't know if this is controversial, but like, is there a law about telling them? She must call Jake dad. I don't know, you know, I don't actually know.

But do you ever have to tell them? But then, I can imagine what Jake's thinking is if one day it did come about that she found out that she wasn't, that how heartbroken she would be. But do you know what, there is actually some really, really lovely books that you could potentially, I would maybe have a really nice sit down conversation.

If you wanted to do it right now, and if this was maybe me putting myself in this situation as to what to do, I think I would just have a really, really nice sit down, do like a picky dinner and just say, we're gonna have like a really important chat and make like a serious conversation, but make it really easy for her to understand. I wonder if she'd understand it even at seven.

What do you think? But then again, I put myself in that position that Dottie's gonna be seven this year. Do you think she would get it? I think Dottie would get it. Putting myself in her position as to if we were in this, I think it would upset Dottie. So I think you definitely have to take it

from the perspective of the child as to how you think she's gonna cope with it. Me personally telling Dottie, I don't think right now she would cope too well with it. I think if it was me, I think I'd wait till she was maybe sort of 10. Or even like, I'm thinking like even older. Maybe even a little bit older.

But I think you have to follow your heart and what feels right for you. And if you feel like she's able to cope with taking that information and process it, I think go with it. Yeah, I mean, every child's so different. I guess like some children might be ready to hear that a bit younger.

Some might not wanna hear it until- But if she doesn't know any different and she only knows him. I do think at the moment, my personal opinion- What piece of- I'm probably not the person to offer you advice on this, but I would wait. I don't think I am either.

I would wait, I think. But if you're asking, yeah, from our perspective. Because if it's all good at the moment and everyone's happy and she's not gonna ask any questions, she's seven, I think just go with it for now. And again, I'm a true believer that just because you've donated sperm does not make you the dad. There's a lot that goes into that. And the fact that you've been able to do that

to this little girl, I think in years to come, regardless if you want to tell her now in this moment is very, very sad for you, in years to come, how incredibly grateful and how proud she is gonna be of you. That you're her dad. That you're her dad. And you are her dad.

Because even though you're not biologically her dad. I mean, to all intents and purposes, like you're raising her. You're her dad. You're her dad. You're fully her dad. Because even though you're not biologically her dad. I mean, to all intents and purposes, like you're raising her. You're her dad. You're her dad. You're fully her dad. You've been there since she was three months old. You're fully her dad.

And it doesn't matter. There's no ifs and buts about it. If we were to sit in a scenario now and say that a lady has adopted a child or a couple have adopted a child, are we not gonna call her a mum because she has adopted a child? Yeah, exactly.

No, we're still fully gonna sit here and say, they're a mum or they're dads. In this situation, if you were to look at it from maybe a different angle, you would never take that away from somebody else. So the fact that you're in this situation doesn't discredit you at all for being her dad. If anything, makes you more of a dad.

Yeah, it's amazing. It is amazing. What a beautiful topic to talk about. I know. And I'm not sure our advice is any good. Well, we've clearly both never been in this situation. Right now it seems to us that you're doing a really fantastic job.

And I guess I would go off the lead of your little lady and just see how she- And her mom, I wonder what she thinks about it as well. Yeah, and I can imagine you've spoken about it. It'd be good to hear from people who have been through this. Yes, actually, that's really, really nice. I would love to hear stories about this, about people that have told their children that.

Yeah, that are in Jake's position. Yeah's um position, position yeah I was gonna say situation it's not really a situation as it is but in this position. I'd love to know that but we appreciate you Jake so much. Yeah thank you. And go you, what a dude, what a dad. So do you have any advice for Jake then please do let us know. Yeah you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode.

And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. ["Secret Mum Club Theme Song"] New year, new me. Season is here and honestly, we're already over it. Enter Felix, the healthcare company helping Canadians take a different approach to weight loss this year. Weight loss is more than just diet and exercise. It can be about tackling genetics, hormones, metabolism.

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