Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Dad Day Diaries

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

It’s Father’s Day! And to celebrate, Emma is revisiting some of our favourite dad moments - from the unforgettable origin of the nickname Pizza Dick, to our very first ever dad in the club, plus a few heartwarming messages that have come through over the years. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Emma and you might have noticed it's just me in the studio today. Sophie is recovering from a nasty bug, but she'll be back with us soon. In the meantime, it's a special day today. It's Father's Day and we couldn't let it pass without giving a proper shout out to the dads of the club. So we've put together some of our favourite dad moments from across the pod. Let's get into it shall we? We're starting with a proper throwback. This was actually the first ever secret we got from a dad in the club and it's from way back in season one and this anonymous dad got in touch looking for

a bit of advice. Let's hear it. This one says, Hello ladies, congratulations to you both. Thank you. Thank you. I am a dad and have a question for you both. My wife and I think I don't know why I'm so shocked and I'm so sorry that was that was on camera. I know it's unusual to get a male listener. It's very exciting. My wife and I are thinking about child number two. We currently have a one year old daughter. She has been the best and we both love being parents so much. During the conversation, we both asked if we wanted a girl or a boy. We feel awful, but we both said how much

we'd really want another girl as we just seemed to suit it. It would be amazing to have a boy and be blessed with one of each, but we both just want another girl and we're worried we'll get gender disappointment. We honestly feel awful and we hope we're not the only ones who feel like this. Thank you from anonymous.

I think it's really common to just be like, I want another one of what I've got because that's what I know. I think, and I think even to the moment that you give birth. So if it is, let's just use you as an example, that they, not you, did he say his name? Anonymous. Oh, anonymous.

Our dad. Our dad. Not our dad. That's weird, I'm so sorry? Anonymous. Oh anonymous, our dad. Our dad. Not our dad. That's weird, I'm so sorry. The daddy. Oh. Who's the daddy? Who's the daddy?

I think even if it does come out to be a little boy that you were having, I think even to the moment that you actually give birth, I don't think it settles in. I think until they're here and you are bonding with them, I think it's completely different. But I think because you've got one of what you have, it's only natural for you to feel that way.

And I think everybody feels. I think that's really common. Although those are people say to me though now, oh, wouldn't it be nice to have another girl? And then you'll have one of each. Cause for some reason people seem to think like one of each is like completing the set. And I'm like, when people say that, I'm like, I don't.

You've got a whole hand in poker. Yeah, I don't really mind. Like whether it's a girl or a boy, it doesn't bother me at all. But I hate to be that cliched person, but I do just think you won't be disappointed. I don't think you can, no. No matter what you get, you'll just be like,

we've got this other baby, which is amazing and a miracle, and we love them just the same. I don't think you'll be disappointed. Did you ever have the feeling of, what if I don't love the baby? Like when you were pregnant. I never did, but I know that is really common. I felt it.

I was like, what if I don't love the baby when the baby comes? Because again, there's so much pressure to be like, people talk about this moment where the baby comes into your arms and it's just amazing and emotional. You just love them instantly. You love them at first sight and you cry.

That is a myth. That is a myth. That is a myth. Like I loved- You're knackered. Yeah, you're knackered. You're so tired. You need time to process your emotions. Like I did love him straight away.

Your asshole is falling out. But I didn't cry straight away. I was just like processing what just happened. I cried because I saw Chris holding him and Chris was crying and that made me really sad because I think the moment the dad gets the baby is so much different to us actually giving birth. So when you're going through the birth

and everything like that, and you've carried them for nine months, your head is literally up your asshole. You don't know whether you're coming or going, what the hell you're going through. But the dad- It's like the first time they- First time feeling them.

Feeling their wriggling, feeling their kicking, hearing their cry. Everything is so first for dad. So the moment they take him, it's such an overwhelming feeling for them. And that made me instantly cry. Yeah, I don't think Stefan felt that. And then she was literally like,

right, we need to take the stitches out and redo them. I was like, oh, beg your pardon. Oh, great. And then they're like, now the placenta needs to come out. You're like, I'm not another one. Can you give us another push? Oh, is there another baby? Yeah.

It's that bit, isn't it? Yeah. Fuck, I shit myself both times. Even, I knew it was coming as well. Can you just give another push, Safina? What? Yeah, baby's out. Baby's out?

What am I pushing? Your placenta, pardon? But yeah, hate to be patronizing, but I actually, I think you'll be okay. I think you'll be fine. And you know, 50% you might get another girl. Yes, 50 to 50, 50, 50. And I think the how you feel though is completely natural.

Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking now like it'd be easier for me to have another boy. Have a boy, because you've got boy stuff. I've done it once already, I've got all the stuff. Like, yeah, I just feel like I could be a boy mom. Yeah. But I also. Your feelings are completely valid.

But I think also what is the same with you is that you are one of three girls. Yeah. So for you, it doesn't make any odds because you don't have a different gendered sibling. Yeah. Whereas for me, I had my brother. You had both. Yeah.

She got two for the price of one. You might have twins, one of each. Wow, that would be phenomenal. Please let us know if you do. Did you know as well, I don't think this is enough to like impact the gender, but depending on where you fall pregnant in your cycle, depends on whether it's more likely to be a girl or a boy.

So make- Is it? Yeah, if you get- I thought it was depending on the sperm. It is. Because it's the heat of them, if they're hot or cold sperm. And also the faster sperm that don't live as long, produce boys and the sperm that take longer to get to the egg

but they have more longevity that produces a girl. I thought it was the other way around. I thought the slow ones were the boys because they're slow to get there. The fast ones are the girls. No, fast. Because they're the warmer ones. Fast but don't live as long are the boys

because they're all like pow, pow, pow. But then they're dead. And the girls are like, slow and steady wins the race, sensible. So maybe you could try and- Maybe Google some things like don't wear tight pants. Yeah, don't sit on a heated car seat. Tight pants is a girl, isn't it? Heated car seat's a girl.

So the warmer the sperm. You wanna keep them cold though. Do you? Google some science. Yeah, and let us know. If anybody is a scientist and knows anything about this, please do let us know. If you're a biologist, get in touch.

But thank you so much. I love that. And thank you for being our first daddy. Thank you for listening. I am lolling listening to old me because obviously that was a pre Sadie and Renly era and me and Sophie both got on to have kids since then. And I'm all like, oh, I don't mind being a boy mum. And obviously I had a baby girl and now I'm such a girl mum. So that's hilarious listening back to that. Also love it when me and Soph talk science. Do not listen to any of our advice.

All right, let's fast forward to a more recent episode now. At the start of the year, we heard from the lovely Tim, who sent in a secret that really stuck with us. Hello ladies. I just wanted to say how much I love the podcast. I found you through help or sex with my boss and binge listened from the start. Big shout out to Jordan and William, our guys.

Our boys. And Tim. And Tim. My wife and I have been on a tough IVF journey since 2019 with many highs and lows, but my wife's determination kept us going. On our second attempt, we fell pregnant. Yay.

Listening to your stories and those from other listeners gave us so much hope during the early stages of pregnancy. I'm thrilled to share that we've made it to 32 weeks. Yay! And are expecting our baby. Girl. Girl. In mid-March. Was I meant to know?

Oh, just wanted you to guess. Oh, sorry, girl. Girl, thank you for creating something that's both entertaining and therapeutic What was I meant to know? Oh, I just wanted you to guess. Oh, sorry, girl. Yeah, girl. Thank you for creating something that's both entertaining and therapeutic to anyone going through IVF. Miracles can happen. We really are all in this together. Best wishes, Tim.

Tim, you have just melted my fucking heart. Do you know what's even better, Tim? How phenomenal that we'll be celebrating our baby's turn in one while Tim is going to have his first baby. Mid-March as well. The March birthdays are the best. Congratulations to you and your beautiful wife. 32 weeks. You're not even just dipping your toe in. You're fully nearly done. You're nearly there. You're nearly there. What was it, full term is 37. Is it or 36? 37. 37 I think. I think it's 37.

Gosh, you're so close. So close. You're in the final stretch. You really are. You're at the home stretch. I've got a sofa coming in five weeks and by that time your baby will be here. When you're sitting your tushy on that new couch.

When you're having a baby delivered, I'll be having a sofa delivered. Tim will be taking their baby girlie. And they're kind of the same thing really. Oh, that is beautiful, isn't it? How divine. I love that, and I love knowing that you've got men listening.

It's always nice to hear from your men. It is nice to hear from your men. Not that there's no reason that you can't be here, but it's normally just the gals. Yeah, exactly. When normally just the gals chilling and we've got Tim. We've got lots of daddies

in the chat. Daddy's uncles, daddy's uncles, granddad's. That's where I was going to go. What other men are there? Husbands. Well, Chris doesn't listen to Stefan. No, he fucking hates him. He doesn't listen to anything I do. That's how I know it's a safe space to share your secrets. That's how I know it's a safe space to share your secrets. I'm pleased to report my sofa did arrive and is settling in nicely. We always love a pregnancy announcement here on The Secret Mum Club and we love a get back in touch and we're not done with Tim just yet because a few episodes later he did get back in touch with some incredible news. Hello again ladies.

Hello again. It's Tim here. in touch with some incredible news. Hello again ladies. Hello again. Hello again. It's Tim here. I messaged recently to share that our IVF baby girl was due in mid-March. Remember IVF Tim? Stop it, yes. IVF Tim.

Well, just a week after hearing our shout out, our lives changed forever. What? Hang on. Hold on. It's early, it's not mid-March yet. Following some high blood pressure readings and close monitoring, the hospital decided to book us in for an emergency C-section on the 6th of February.

And just like that, our little miracle, Sophia Ella arrived exactly five weeks early, weighing a healthy five pound 10. Wow! Well, if she'd gone full term, she would have been a whopper. That's similar to you about five weeks early, isn't it? Yeah. To say we've fallen completely in love with her

is an understatement. Latest picture attached. Oh my God! Have a look! Oh my gosh! Oh, Sophia! Oh my gosh, she is, oh my God! She looks so perfect.

She is utterly perfection. Oh, look at her little ears and her little button nose. She is divine, isn't she? Very close to my name as well, Tim. I'm going to be poor, isn't it? Sophia Ella sounds a lot like Sophina Emma. I see what you've done there. I see what you've done.

Oh, and a massive congratulations to you all. And I hope mummy's doing well. He said, Tim says she's doing incredibly well as is mum. And we're soaking up every moment of cuddles with our bundle of joy. I'm guessing Sophia arrived before Emma's long awaited sofa. Tim, yes Tim, she did. Sophia no, she knew the drill.

She was not gonna end up like- Listen, psychology. Say my name. I'm waiting on you. Sophia didn't let us down, but you have. Oh, baby Sophia and Tim. I remember seeing that picture. She was so cute. And if my math is correct,

she would now be around four months old. So Tim, I hope you have a wonderful first father's day with baby Sophia and thank you again for getting in touch. Honestly, we've had so many brilliant stories from dads. If you have anything you want to send in, you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. We've got a couple more of our favorite dad moments

coming up right after this. ["The Secret Mumpod Show"] Do you know what I find embarrassing for no reason? Carrying a baguette home from the shop. Yes, that's on par with walking downhill. That's mortifying. I get like that when I have to wave my arm out for a bus to stop. Oh, see it's not just you. We're Sam and Tate Hub and this is the podcast where we film a safe space just to laugh it all off.

Whether it's a story about one of us two. Like when one of us paid for a dating app. Hey, not on the promo. Oh, episode who? Or a tale from your life that you want to share with the group. New episodes drop every Thursday, come if you want. Listen to episode who? Or a tale from your life that you want to share with the group. New episodes drop every Thursday. Come if you want. Listen to Embarrassing for No Reason, wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome back. OK, this next clip comes from someone who's made more than one appearance on the pod. The one and only Pizza Dick. Yes, that's right, it's Chris. While I was off, Chris actually stepped into the hot seat and co-hosted a full episode with Soph. Here's the moment where Chris explained just how he earned that unforgettable nickname.

This one is from Jane. Chrissie, how do you feel about being called Pizza Dick? I feel like that's gonna forever haunt you. I feel like Dotsie's absolutely done me a treat there if I'm honest. She really has. I would have a nice chilled bath and then she's come in and that's where it's gone yeah. Renly's happy about it. He is what he is. What can I do about it? You all for having blessed David Potts when I was on his shows. He talked to me about pizza dick. It's great isn't it? It's fantastic. Everyone knows his old pizza dick. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

Do you have a complex about your willy? No, not at all. It hasn't given you a complex? No, not at all, no. If someone, if she said my food food looked like an old piece of pizza, I'd have a right complex about my food. It's just Dotsey's imagination, isn't it? I'd be off for surgery.

Dotsey's imagination. Well, she doesn't know what to say when... You were in the bath a long time, so it shriveled a little. I don't know. Well, you were. I was just chilling in the... were in the bath a long time, so you shriveled a little. I don't know. Well, you were. I was just chilling in the... I was having a nice relaxing bath, to be fair.

Everything goes a bit pruney in the bath, doesn't it? She just popped in quickly and then popped back out and that's it. That's the end of it. Forever the old pizza dick. Yeah. So, yeah, I feel all right about it, to be fair. Good. I'm glad. I'm good.

We didn't even introduce you by name. Thanks for that, Jane. Just to bring it back to the surface, Jane I'm glad. I'm good. We don't even introduce you by name. Thanks for that Jane. Just to bring it back to the surface Jane in case anybody's new here. It never even crosses my mind if I'm taken on too yeah. What did she call you? Your pizza dick? Yeah when she said it yeah never. You just come out of the bathroom and it's like do you know what she's just said to me. I come out of the bathroom absolutely howling I pretty much well I had to crawl safe into the bathroom because I nearly I nearly wet myself in the bath that's's how funny it was. It was so funny. Bless her. Bless her heart.

Poor Chris. I feel like he really gets a rough ride on this podcast. And Dottie's come out with some absolute clangers even since then. She gets a, he gets a rough ride from Dottie, poor old Chris, but I feel like he's taken it like an absolute champ and he's owning it. So we love you, Chris. Thanks for that. Now on to our final clip and it's such a special one. This one came

from Jake who got in touch with a really heartfelt message asking for advice about adoption. Let's take a listen. What's the secret of this week? It comes from Jake. Hello Jake. He says, dear ladies, I've been with my fiance for six and a half years when we got together she already had a beautiful little girl who was three months old at the time I fell head over heels for both of them and decided to step up and raise her daughter as my own her biological dad isn't in the picture now she's nearly seven so what's that yeah six and a half years and we also have a little boy who completes our family but she has no idea I'm not her biological

father. Every day I dread the moment I'll have to tell her the truth. So what's the best way to approach this and how do I do it in a way that won't break her heart? Oh my god, Jake, you've just melted the nation's hearts right now. Oh my god. Yeah, how do you? Can we just take a moment for the fact that Jake's here listening to us? Yeah, thank you, Jake. What an absolute frigging legend. I wonder what our male, how many male listeners we've got.

If you're a man. Obviously, men welcome, but it's gotta be mostly women. What a man. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a good man. Sing it again. Jake, what a legend. I think, I guess you've spoken to your fiance

about this situation. Yeah. So I think, I guess you've spoken to your fiance about this situation. So I think, you know what, if he's not in the picture, I reckon you just go with the flow. Because right now, I think what doesn't know doesn't hurt them. And I think she's still very diddy. She's little. Yeah, she is very little.

And I think as much as I don't want to be that cliche person, I think as much as I don't want to be that cliche person, I think when the time is right, it will feel right. Do you know what I mean? But there's so many things that you can do isn't there whether you were to look at adopting her or whether you wanted to have the conversation, whether you want to do it now while she's little or whether you may not want to do it until she gets bigger, you know? What's the like, I don't know if this is controversial,

but like, is there a law about telling them? She must call Jake dad. I don't know, you know, I don't actually know. But do you ever have to tell them? But then, what Jake, I can imagine what Jake's thinking is if one day it did come about that she found out that she wasn't, that how heartbroken she would be. But do you know what?

There is actually some really, really lovely books that you could potentially. I would maybe have a really nice sit down conference. If you wanted to do it right now, and if this was maybe me putting myself in this situation as to what to do, I think I would just have a really, really nice sit down, do like a picky dinner and just say,

we're gonna have like a really important chat and make like a serious conversation, but make it really easy for her. I wonder if she'd understand it even at seven. What do you think? But then again, I put myself in that position that Dottie is gonna be seven this year. Do you think she would get it?

I think Dottie would get it, putting myself in her position as to if we were in this, I think it would upset Dottie. So I think you definitelyie would get it, putting myself in her position as to if we were in this, I think it would upset Dottie. So I think you definitely have to take it from the perspective of the child as to how you think she's going to cope with it. Me personally telling Dottie, I don't think right now she would cope too well with it. I think if it was me, I think I'd wait till she was maybe sort of 10. Or even like, I'm thinking like even older. Maybe even a little bit older. But I think you have to follow your heart

and what feels right for you. Yeah. And if you feel like she's able to cope with taking that information and process it, I think go with it. Yeah, I mean, every child's so different. I guess like some children might be ready to hear that a bit younger, some might not want to hear it until. But if she doesn't know any different

and she only knows him. I do think at the moment, my personal opinion, I'm probably not the person to offer you advice on this, but I would wait. I don't think I am either. I would wait, I think. But if you're asking, yeah, from our perspective. Because if it's all good at the moment

and everyone's happy and she's not going to ask any questions, she's seven, I think just go with it for now. And again, I'm a true believer that just because you've donated sperm does not make you the dad. There's a lot that goes into that. And the fact that you've been able to do that to this little girl, I think in years to come,

regardless if you want to tell her now, and this moment is very, very sad for you, in years to come, regardless of if you want to tell her now in this moment is very, very sad for you, in years to come, how incredibly grateful and how proud she is gonna be of you. That you're her dad. That you're her dad. Yeah. And you are her dad.

Yeah. Because even though you're not biologically her dad. I mean, to all intents and purposes, like you're raising her. You're her dad. You're her dad. You're fully her dad. You've been there since she was three months old.

You're fully her dad. Yeah. And it doesn't matter. There's no ifs and buts about it. If we were to sit in the scenario now and say that a lady has adopted a child or a couple have adopted a child, are we not gonna call her a mum because she has adopted a child?

Yeah, exactly. No, we're still fully gonna sit here and say they're a mum or they're dads. In this situation, if you were to look at it from maybe a different angle, you would never take that away from somebody else. So the fact that you're in this situation doesn't discredit you at all for being her dad.

If anything, makes you more of a dad. Yeah, it's amazing. It is amazing. What a beautiful topic to talk about. I know. And I'm not sure our advice is any good. Well, we've clearly both never been in this situation. Right now, it seems to us

that you're doing a really fantastic job. And I guess I would go off the lead of your little lady and just see how she- And her mom, I wonder what she thinks about it as well. Yeah, and I can imagine you've spoken about it, but we appreciate you, Jake, so much. Yeah, thank you. And go you.

What a dude. What a dad. That is one of those stories that will always stick with me. I'll always remember that. But like me and Soph said in the clip, it was one of those ones that was hard for us to offer advice on because it's not a situation that we've both been in.

But as always, the listeners came through and we had so many beautiful responses to Jake's story, messages of support, shared experiences and such thoughtful advice. And the best part was that Jake got back in touch to let us know how things were going. Hello ladies. First of all, thank you both for your advice and ideas. And a big thank you to the listeners who shared their stories too. Oh. My partner and I changed my daughter's surname by deed poll to match mine

before she was old enough to be aware of the change. We're also currently awaiting a potential ADHD diagnosis, which has been a long and difficult process. With the way her brilliant mind works, constantly thinking and overthinking, we've decided to wait many more years before having to break the news to her. All the best, Jake.

Hold on a minute, this is Jake. This is Jake from the, we did the adoption special about him. Oh, Jake. Right, let's go back. Hold on because I was, I lost my, I was somewhere else then. All right, so they've changed his daughter's surname

by deed poll to match his, but they're gonna wait till she's older before they tell her. Yeah. This is absolutely gonna wait till she's older before they tell her. Yeah. This is absolutely beautiful. Because she's awaiting a potential ADHD diagnosis. So now she's got their matching name. They're like, now's not the time,

but they've got the same surname. Oh, Jake. I don't think you could have done it anymore perfect. That is beautiful, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what an incredible bunch of clips. Thank you so much to the amazing dads who have been

part of Secret Mom Club. We love having you here and we hope that today you get five minutes peace and maybe a cuppa made for you for once. Whilst it is Father's Day, can I just tell you about our friends on the Sofa podcast with Colson, Jack and Ben? Remember when we went to Toby Carvery for Mother's Day? Well, they've been for Father's Day and recorded a special episode. You can either go out for Sunday dinner or you can stay in. What's your dream Sunday?

When it comes to food, would you rather go out and have someone cook for you or just rather stay in and do it all yourself? I think if you're picking, it's nice to get a little treat and get spoiled and go out, isn't it? Yeah. No washing up.

It's an event. No washing up. No washing up. That's an event. No washing up. No washing up. That's the question. And you're not paying someone else's pain. Well, you'd hope. Whereas I would hope my dad would probably. What? For his own day? Yeah, no.

What? No, yeah. We see how you think, hey, dad, let's go out. You're paying. Yeah, no. No, that is right. Lovely bit of on the sofa from Toby Carvery for Father's Day there. I bet they weren't as good at carving as we were though.

You can hear their Father's Day special. Just search On the Sofa wherever you get your podcasts. We'll be back very soon and Sof will be here with me next time. Have a lovely Father's Day and we'll see you next time on the... Oh, Secret Mom Club! I'm gonna have to wave me arm out for a bus to stop. Oh, see, it's not just you. We're Sam and Tate-um and this is the podcast where we form a safe space just to laugh it all off. Whether it's a story about one of us two. Like when one of us paid for a dating app.

Hey, not on the promo. Oh, episode who? Or a tale from your life that you want to share with the group. New episodes drop every Thursday, come if you want. Listen to Embarrassing for No Reason wherever you get your podcasts.