Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Dildo Unicorn

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

What a week for both ladies! One got away with the family and the other has been celebrating a massive poo achievement. We hear from a Mum who struggled with a house guest whilst pregnant, and we've also got double dildo action with two separate Mums having their itchy leg toys exposed! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Testing, testing, one, two, three. How's your screen? Is this thing on? Is this thing on? Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina.

And I'm Emma. This podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do, and as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. Yeah, you can keep that to yourself, you can be anonymous. And those secrets can be serious or silly.

All secrets are welcome in the... Secret Mum Club! How has your week been? I feel like it's all just a mangle. It's amalgamated into one long, massive week, hasn't it? It's like a month-long week. Well, it's been like four weeks since we've seen each other. Also, last week's episode, we had to, we divulged so much, didn't we?

Right, so last week we had four weeks worth of stuff to catch up on. So we're kind of still catching up, aren't we? We are still kind of catching up. What's going on? We will do for a long time. First thing I would like to just get off my chest is last week's episode, we talked about the scrotum, the scrotum situation. We're still discussing that.

Yeah, I was gracefully, gracefully, would you say? I don't think I was gracefully approached. I come to the office today and stumbled across a man in the hallway with his hand in his crotch. Right, you know what I was saying to you? Yeah, never witnessed it. They feel like in public they can just have their hand down their pants it's like when you decide you're gonna buy a red reno clio you see red reno clio's everywhere now i just keep seeing

men cupping their penis in but he was hand in the boxer and the jean and then when he saw me hand quickly swift yeah he turned his back to me he was caught in the act did he sniff it probably i did want to ask did you take a cheeky sniff they normally do he was on the phone though but i thought about not interrupting so he was sorry on the phone in a corridor with his hand down yeah like lent on the window seal like handed his crutch like i just think like a woman would never have her hand like never do that it would be more weird if we were just do you know why patriarchy it's all right for men never do that. It would be more weird if we were just. Do you know why? Patriarchy. It's all right for men to do that.

Who is the patriarchy? Who is patriarchy? Who are they? I feel like this is too political for me. Men. Men just doing whatever they want. Just walking around, sniffing their balls. Rearranging their scrotum on public transport, in the workplace. not acceptable for a woman to you patriarchy have a hand down her trousers and give it a sniff is it

i would say this is a topic emma's patriarchy are you the patriarchy anyway i told I told you. Are you them? No. Oh, is it multiple people? No. No. Smash the patriarchy. I feel like I've missed something in my life. You've got frequency illusion now. Do you know what that is? It's when you hear about something and then you start seeing it all the time. Yeah. Is that an actual thing?

Yeah. So annoying. It's a phenomenon. But yeah, he was balls deep. Literally. His hands were balls deep. Hands deep in his balls. But other than that

the week I'd love it if that was just your thing of the week that happened what's happened this week just seen men cupping their balls

and that's the end from me thank you so much tune in Thursday we'll be back Thursday thanks for listening yeah the week I don't really know again what's happened

but we have because I feel like we haven't spoken about it, we had a little mini break. Oh yeah, you've been away, haven't you? On the topic of balls. Two. We went to Sandy Ball. When you said that on your Instagram,

I died with laughter. There's just something so funny about that word. Do you know what was even more funny is that I didn't announce where I was. I just loaded all these stories as a bit like I was dumping on everybody. Just had a quick dump on Instagram because we got back late on the Sunday Sunday and what I find more funny is that Maddie my manager

has access to my Instagram and the amount of people that were just messaging me sandy balls oh my god you're at sandy balls sandy balls love it there that's not sandy balls how does everyone know about sandy balls so many people know about sandy balls but what I found more funny is that Maddie had gone into my Instagram and everything just was titled sand balls i had to be like what the fuck has she been talking about now oh but yeah we went to sandy balls sandy balls absolutely beautiful everything that we needed after the chaotic yeah one the sickness i've got no lounge because no kitchen right through the ringer we've been up the ringer stinger yeah was wild but we have walked alpacas yeah we've been swimming amazing they even had christmas lights there so what was it was like a little like christmas village it's like a stay

away that might be i don't want to get that completely wrong it's like a holiday park right so you get like a little everything's different so you can get big lodges little lodges caravani ones you get ones that are like a zen lodge ones that different. So you can get big lodges, little lodges, caravany ones. You get ones that are like a zen lodge, ones that come with jacuzzis, ones don't. People live there 12 months of the year. No way. I didn't know you could do that. The shop was phenomenal.

Wow. Even sold white teabags. Clipper's white teabag to be, it's my teabag. That's your jam, isn't it? Yeah. That is my jam. Had a little coffee shop where you can buy Starbucks coffee. Oh.

Chris was in his element. It was great. I did have a bit of a moment there in the arcade where I felt so filthy dirty I wanted no one to look at me. I couldn't step away from the machines. Oh. Well, we did the fountain, the 2P. I was doing the 2P, the 10P.

Yeah, I love those. And I was also doing the grab and machine. 10P is high stakes. Did you win anything? I did. Loads and loads of sweeties. Did you? The babies were just over the moon.

But yeah, we went away to Sandy Balls and we stayed there. It was my sister's birthday celebration as well. So we were all there. Was it a big 4-0? No. I keep joking about it though. I keep telling everyone she's 4-0 and she's like, she's young. She's younger.

She's 38. Oh shit. I've offended her. I hope she doesn't listen. She does. She actually really liked you. Yeah. But it was really good. It was just what we all needed and i didn't tell the children oh and i left it as a complete surprise and we went straight after school on the friday and we

drove there and they didn't know anything but dotty had fallen asleep in the car also it was dark when we arrived so i said to the children oh we're just doing some running around for dad got to the holiday park parked up my sister checked us in and got our keys so we were ready to go and we were right next door to each other we were like in a triangle so my sister was in one i was in one and then my mom and dad were in the opposite so we could see each other i did think when i saw your instagram your brother wasn't invited but he richie's my number one fan so sorry richie if you're listening richie was invited do you want to come he he was there i was there richie and his wife had something to do on the friday evening they were out with friends right so they joined us on the saturday nice and then they stayed with us the saturday and they left early sunday whereas

we all stayed on for the sunday and went for a meal because they had things to do. They're busy people. They don't have babies. They had better things to do. Yeah, they did. No, I'm not going to lie. They had better things to be doing with their time. But, you know, it was really, really lovely.

Yeah, it looked nice. It looked so Christmassy. Oh, they put so many Christmas lights on. I lived for the evening entertainment. Oh, was it like um organized like shows and stuff yeah butlin yes yeah but it was it was phenomenal we did pottery painting we painted our own little pottery tea lights lovely there was craft in there you could do painting you could do it printed like there was loads of stuff for the children to do you just got to book the activity

slots because otherwise it's too busy. There was a soft play there. There was the arcade. There was a shop. Swimming. Anywhere with a soft play, I'm sold. Oh, my fucking God. It was iconic. That's hours of peace.

Yeah. When you've got a baby. We went to the evening entertainment. Friday was phenomenal, the evening entertainment when we arrived. I lost my voice a little bit. So not only did I was sick. Are you singing? Got a bit better. Yeah.

And then Saturdayurday night we had to poo we had to woo for a poo so they were giving away free toys you had to woo for a poo yeah so there was like all these things you could win a sword you could win a sandy balls t-shirt i'd want that no i know yeah show me your sandy balls i'll show you my balls if you show me yeah nice but it was it was a lot it was a lot to take in and there was a stress emoji poo but you had to woo for the poo like a teddy

like a soft toy like a stress you know them oh stress ball yeah but it's the poo emoji it was a poo emoji yeah it was like

it was like a fake poo yeah obviously all the children wanted the poo so we had to woo for the poo so you got better and then you lost your voice wooing for a poo

yeah worth it so worth it yeah we didn't win the poo you didn't win it no we won the award for the loudest table though so I yeah we didn't win the you didn't win it no we won the

award for the loudest table though so i was like it contradicts itself really that's something with the loudest table but we didn't win the poo yeah yeah slightly annoying but you know we had a great time yeah and it was very festive it was really nice to have some time away i'm feeling quite christmassy now are you i just i've come back to the building site. I can't get the tree up yet. Yeah. So I think once you get your tree up, we weren't going to have one. What?

But. Well, no tree at all. We didn't have one last year because we're not at home at Christmas. That's criminal. We were just like, there's no point because we have to, we were away for quite a long period of time

because we have to fit in my family and the in-laws. So we always go and do like several days in wales several days with my mom and dad and then did you see the eye did you catch that eye roll what on in-laws no i'm joking i love we have to go hopefully i'm joking i love hanging out and if you haven't listened fantastic i love them so much they do a great christmas i actually do love them and if you listen to another episode, Emma too has been fingered by her father. Someone you know has been fingered. Not me.

Oh, no. That's why you love seeing him. I love seeing him. So much. No, Stefan's mum was fingered by her father-in-law. To check the dilation of her vagina. Babies were delivered by the father-in-law because he was the local doctor

Emma loves her in-laws I do yeah but so we're not normally at home at Christmas so didn't have a tree last year

Joseph obviously wasn't bothered because he was young didn't know about it but now I think actually we'd be into it so I think we're gonna I think we're gonna get one

get a real we talked about this the other day didn't we yeah yeah although Stefan's sister was telling me a story the other day

about when Stefan was little he swallowed a pine off of a tree my brother got one stuck up the end of his willy oh yeah yeah oh god well maybe we'll get a fake one because then stefan's family from that point on only had fake trees because they were so worried about him choking on the pine needles oh i you can get a no drop i don't know no drop yeah drop. Yeah, no drop. But we haven't had any, Colby's never had any pines up his willy. No, or in his mouth. I don't know what my mum was doing really to allow the pines to go into his willy.

Yeah. What was he doing? Where was my mum? That's very strange. Maybe he put it in his own willy. Yeah, obviously. It's not going to fall in. It's not going to trip and fall up there, is it?

We shouldn't be talking about my brother's willy. I'm so sorry, Ritchie. Was he all right after that? Yeah. Yeah, I think he was fine. Yeah, I think he was fine yeah i think he was fine he's great now he's married he's got a beautiful wife and they have a really happy life so i'm sure his willy's fine anywho uh awkward conversation the week has been great good great have you had a good week we've had a great what have you been doing do you know what better than most actually you went to soft play this week didn't you do we wait joseph's had a really fun week he's been to soft play with his cousins he's had a couple of play

dates with his two best mates there's too much she's having a lovely time but something that's been blighting my life for like several months i would say oh shit it's joseph's constipation we all know about that we do it's not news to us here it got really bad he just wasn't going at all we tried changing up his diet cutting out gluten and is it just that he doesn't want to go well this is the thing he's too young for us to ask him but i don't know stefan thought maybe he's holding it in because he's not liking the sensation of passing the poop hard stool yeah but i feel like he actually really is trying to go and he just can't okay but there was like nothing in his diet that we could pin it down to nursery we're

like we really don't understand why he's struggling to poo so much he eats well he eats fruit and veg he drinks water he's not dehydrated he has a wet nappy like what is going on so stefan was like let's just get him some laxative like not prescribed by the doctor okay um so i was like, let's just get him some laxative. Like not prescribed by the doctor. Okay. So I was like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Took him to the doctor this week.

Finally got him some laxative, which is really hard to get down them. Cause it's like a sachet that has to go in there. Do you not just give him the prune pouch? Honestly, we've tried everything. The prunes, the raisins, nothing is working anymore. He's so uncomfortable, bless him, to get a poo out. And he will like strain and strain and strain. I was going working anymore he he's so uncomfortable bless him to get a poo out and he will like strain and strain i was gonna say he's straining for ages and really upset and but hardly anything comes out he's not getting like a good clear out yeah he never really

has a runny poo so i was just i'm feeling bad for him he he just like bless him he'll sit on the floor and basically pull his hair out from like the strain of trying to go it's just not fair i know i know so it got really bad and also he's been ill and he hasn't really been eating he just totally lost his appetite and he didn't get the shits he didn't get the shits but i think because nothing was going in nothing nothing was coming out either but he was still trying to go i mean all he was eating was digestive biscuits i felt like a terrible parent for a week because his meals were just digestives that's all he wanted yeah but that's digestives and milk we even we upped him to a third milk bottle a day because it was like the only thing he would have yeah but that's what he that's what he wants fed baby is a happy baby i

get very stressed when he doesn't like eat nutritional stuff woman i've told you about this before stop being so ridiculous but anyway we got the laxatives getting him down it was a bit of a struggle because it's meant to go in his water but he wasn't really drinking enough water so we started yeah because they have to down the whole lot they have to have the whole sachet yeah and he has a sip here and there but he's never really drinking that much so not gulping it no exactly it's not like you say to an adult like you need to get that whole thing down you so we started putting it in his milk which i didn't know whether you were allowed to put it in the milk or not but it was the only way to get him to take it really try because then he'll neck the whole bottle of he'll have the whole bottle of milk because i

think the the stuff is flavorless like it doesn't affect the no the taste say we were giving him maybe for like three days i would say three or four days we were giving him a sachet in his milk okay nothing was happening we were like this isn't working we're gonna have to up the dose like what's going on he's still straining passing like tiny tiny rock hard pebbles nothing in his nappy so anyway the other night i changed him before the bath and he had like a medium-sized poo in his nappy but he'd kind of strained to get it out so this is normal nothing new i wrapped his nappy up i was like right let's go up to the bath normally that short journey between upstairs to the bath is fine with no nappy on right so i pick him up with no nappy on oh fuck i go to walk him to the bath oh god and then i'm like a thud hits the carpet like a

loud thud hits the carpet and i thought he must have dropped a toy or something, but I didn't think he was holding anything. Stepped back and looked at it. A huge, huge poo had fallen out of him. Oh my God. Onto the rug. I couldn't believe. He pooed? He pooed.

A massive poo? A massive poo. Like, I think this has been clogging him up for weeks. Months. Wow. Weeks, if not months. Like, it was, when I say huge, like if it came out. Did you take a picture? Absolutely.

Thank God. Why have you not sent it to me? I want a comparison with your arm. I'll show you. I'm not going to put it on social media. No. Because it's a little bit embarrassing for him. Well, yeah, we can't.

I was so pleased. Honestly, I couldn't stop thinking about it for ages afterwards. Like, if it came out of me, I'd be relieved. And he's only little. Wow. It was huge. If you heard it drop as well, that's a big poop. I heard it drop.

If somebody saw mine and my sister's WhatsApp chat, we'd probably go to prison. Because we send the most random shit on WhatsApp chat. Actual shit. Yeah, literally. But I didn't realise. I think the change of position had probably helped him so i was holding him we were talking we were talking about this a couple

of weeks ago about touching the poo so did you pick it up no so so basically this is what happened i was holding him to me and i feel like bending his legs up like that i'd helped him get something out it released something in him so he let that out and i was like stefan come and have a look at this you were holding him and he pooed? Yeah, but it didn't go on me. It just literally like... So you created like a little play-doh? I squeezed it out of him somehow. It was amazing.

Wow. And then I said, Stefan, come and have a look at this. Because we've been waiting for this moment for months. I didn't realise he was still going. So Stefan walks into the living room. Second bit of poo. Stefan treads straight in it in his socks. I'm like, oh no, move out of the way.

Third bit of poo comes out on the rug. I'm like, this potion's not going to stop coming. What is happening? Oh my God. I know. Me and Stefan were like, and he was crying because I think he was like upset

at the sensation of like not pooing in a nappy. Yeah. Because he's never had that before. I was going to say, this is a huge moment for Joseph because he doesn't even like pooing on the potty. well he's never tried to poo on a potty but i feel like that it might help him but you massage him normally to poo yeah with his nappy on yeah this is huge for joseph it's huge news honestly and i sent it to so was there a fourth lump of

poo that was it then i whisked him up to the bath thank god stefan was there because i had to take him up to the bath to get him clean clean all the poo stefan's on operation shit clean operation poo get the socks straight on a hot wash i mean i would have been the socks it was not gonna lie yeah yeah probably should probably should have put on a 90 degree wash so we'll see how they turn out come out the size of joseph's socks it was honestly wow i went to bed that night thinking about it because honestly did he sleep good? I said to Stefan, how did he feel this morning? Did he feel lighter?

Because honestly, he must have lost half a stone. I can't believe it. I'm so relieved for him. This is such huge news. He's needed to just get that out. That poo out. Yeah. Wow. And laxatives work.

So maybe try some yourself. Oh, yeah. I don't think I'm allowed them, am I? Yeah. I had a prune sachet the other day. The children's little ones. How did that work? Yeah work yeah she's keeping me a bit regular yeah yeah that's the thing i'm hoping that now we've got him cleared out he'll be a little bit more regular from now on do you i used to mix because colby was a bit of a um well colby would tend to be a

bit more looser than anything maybe was it colby or was it dotty maybe dotty because she that girl is carby barbie she loves carb she i used to just mix a bit the prune stuff with the yogurt and they could never taste it but honestly he likes the prune pouches but they're just not doing it for him anymore he's like immune to them yeah yeah it doesn't even wow hardcore stuff so honestly that is like it's made it's made my week wow that was a poo mommy that we didn't know we all needed Emma and I really want to hear from you

we want you to join us in the secret mum club you're all welcome you can share your secrets with us respond to what we've been talking about or just say

hello you can find us on tiktok and instagram just search secret mum pod or you can email us hello at secret mum pod dot com

and we're going to hit it off with the this message is from lauren oh this sounded like what hi i'm troy mcclure hi this message is brought for you this is me this message is brought to you by lauren whose secret we read out about her daughter who wanted mummy and only mummy all of the time oh i love it when we get i love it when we get a reply yes hey girls thank you so much for reading out my email and helping it's so nice to hear you understand how overwhelming it is as my partner sometimes doesn't understand but i 100 agree i try to soak it all in as i know she'll grow out of it

and won't need me at all but some days it's hard but there has been progress oh she's starting to play on her own and let me get on with chores because she knows I'm still downstairs with her and I will play with her after win-win for both of us she also loves doing housework so I get her involved with it and make it a game thank you so much for your advice it means a lot maybe my daughter just needs a sibling to play with winky face ha ha ha lauren get those itchy legs going lauren come on it's the season to be jolly it's the festive season that's the only reason why i'm having another one because i'm just hoping it'll keep joseph entertained it takes a while for that to kick in though what's my excuse they're not gonna i got engaged and got too frisky yeah you just got a bit excited mine's purely practical.

I want someone to play with Joseph. Mine was clearly irresponsible. Yeah. Mine was too much Prosecco, too much engagement fun. Yeah. And too much itchy legs. Yeah. Let that be a lesson to you. But I'm absolutely over the moon.

And well done, Lauren, because that was basically the thing that you were saying. Like you were able to get on with chores and stuff if they knew you would play with them after or you were just next door or get them involved that's really good yeah yeah it's really good for her to have independent play it is really good isn't it yeah there's no better feeling when or that moment when you can just sit there and they play yeah and you're drinking a cup of tea and like yeah what is my life i also just love seeing them in their own little world and their own like imagination yeah yeah that's so cute dotty is really really um loves imaginary play and she does like little accents and stuff whereas colby's never really been like that colby used to get a little bit embarrassed because she

has barbies yeah she reenacts them and stuff like that for me for a girl playing yeah it's really really yeah it's really i used to be self-conscious about that as well i don't know why about like people overhearing and like thinking it was silly but there's nothing cuter than like the things they come out with it's not funny i was the i was the third child well one of yeah but my sister my mom's got loads of home videos of my sister. And my sister used to do it with her Barbies and dress them all beautifully. But then there would be Frank the Tank in the back, me. And I just used to rip all their clothes off, chuck them all around the room.

Oh, no. I know. I don't because I watch it back and it breaks my arm. But yeah, my sister was the cute, angelic, Barbie-playing one. Yeah, you were the terror. Yeah. Yeah. I was the one spraying polish over everything,

then sprayed my brother in polish, so my mum would think it was him, and everything was slippery as fuck. That was me. That doesn't surprise me. I don't know why. I don't know why it wouldn't. It figures.

But thank you, Lauren. I'm glad you're getting back in touch. You're getting some free time. Yeah, that's lovely. Whether it's just a hoover or have a cup of tea yeah even if it's five minutes yeah but we got another one yeah another email here it says hi ladies i've just listened to the red velvet brownie incident with the ladies question about what to do with a little one when you need to go to the loo my little girl comes and sits on her potty when i need a poo although she's not potty trained yet once i I wipe, she screams as loud as possible.

Yay, well done, mummy poo poo. Making sure everyone in the house knows what I'm doing. She goes on to try and pull my knickers up and flush the toilet for me. Thank you so much for the giggles, Mia. Wow, she's got it down, Mia. Go on, Mia. She's already there.

She's, that's incredible. She's gonna know what to do. There's no better feeling when a child cheers you on for a poo well i just think that's so funny because like the opposite is true like my story that i just told about joseph's massive poo yeah because he was a little bit unsettled by it we were all like yeah being so encouraging like this is a good thing we need positive associations you did a big poo well done how do you feel do you feel better yeah Joseph imagine people

cheering you on when you went poo yeah imagine well done Safina you are oh god I just hit my microphone you

you unblocked the toilet with a glow stick you did it a poo poo in the potty a poo poo in the potty na na na na hey Joseph when I go to the toilet

he also goes mummy toilet yeah but then I used to mine used to sit on the toilet with me when I used to go to the toilet, he also goes, mummy toilet. Yeah. But then I used to, mine used to sit on the toilet with me when I used to go to the toilet. They used to sit on the potty. Oh, they like-

Not always used to go. Just to mimic you. But yeah, they used to sing, cheer me on. Yeah. Dot sometimes rubs my back now though. Aw. But I just don't,

I just don't want to be looked at when I'm having a massive shit. No. It's the most unnerving- It's quite a private moment, isn't it? Yeah. You just don't know, it's going to go one of two ways. Yeah. It's either going to moment yes you just don't know it's going to go

one of two ways it's either going to be so massive i can't flush it or two it's just not going to come out and then i'll be crying hunched over the bath it's one one extreme or the other with you isn't it just run a bath and take a shit yeah i haven't actually tried that since i've been pregnant maybe you should maybe i should yeah take a shit in the bar take your own advice get my little net out do some evening fishing better than a glow stick i would say oh or a poo knife more effective i'm still trying to get that link bloody lucy hasn't sent me the link yeah i'm gonna get that you for christmas actually that's a great idea we should have done secret santa yeah secret now if i get a poo knife i know yeah oh i love that mia it sounds like she's ready to be toilet trained yeah i love that

all right i've got another one here says hi ladies you talking about dildo what the fuck you talking about dildos made me remember a story when were we talking about you asked me if i had a dildo that's what it was you do it was it was no you have lube you don't have a dildo you basically with it was you do it was it was no you have lube you don't have a dildo you basically with this was in the episode with the lube and you just went like wild i didn't go wild i should have been curious as to why you had asking asking about lube and sex toys and i think it was the episode about the role play and the dressing up it was my daughter's first birthday party which was unicorn themed my daughter and her little cousins kept going up and down the stairs whilst they were playing suddenly her three-year-old

cousin came running in with my suction dildo on his head shouting look i'm a unicorn my suction dildo i assume that's why we've suction at the base like a you can't shut up in the shower can't you what is that what it's for so you can stick it to the wall oh my god and it was stuck on his head I'm a unicorn I was mortified as my partner's oh no I was mortified as my partner's family had to run after him to take it off this is now mentioned at every party

I'm not surprised lots of love from Jen oh I can't I can't do that's worse than the lube at Christmas lunch I think

you could suction it to the bottom of the bath couldn't you there's so many places I just thought how you could take that anywhere couldn't you wow he had it suctioned i wonder

breathed on it imagine imagine the suction as well trying to get off yeah probably left a mark on his head a dildo shaped mark fuck oh wow jen that is iconic wow oh oh god oh god oh he learned something new every day you do well there's your secrets so we'll be googling poo knives and suction dildos you get me a poo knife i'll get you a suction dildo secret santa sorted so you can get in touch with us on anything at all anything it can be serious or very silly and you can be totally anonymous or feel free to share your name like jen did with the dildo story she was proud between us we've probably heard it all before

and remember we're all in this together and we know that we are we're all stars and we see that we say we're all in this together and i actually do get really sad because i've never had this experience of the suction dildo and i wish i wish i did i'll get one and see what happens each week we'll be sharing our secrets and yours in the secret mum club here's my secret of the week i'm gonna do we need to cue some sad music although we shouldn't really take the piss because it's actually a really it's a really sad topic what happened oh don't you can't look i will cry so we basically have had a little bit of a situation in our house where it has resulted in us unfortunately rehoming our little mabel it is and it's really hard and i we i spoke about it with chris and i spoke about it with my manager and as to know if it was

something that i wanted to talk about but i kind of want to talk about it in the sense of that it is normal yeah it's not ideal so we we've taken a lot of consideration and unfortunately the reason that as has been is because colby is insanely allergic to her so how did that so basically he hasn't always been allergic no so the the first eight nine months she had her puppy co right um what breed is she she's a french bulldog and do they molt she's a frenchie they do molt yeah which is something I knew. Yeah. But because we don't have allergies.

But she went into, she had her first season, but didn't have her first season until she was 13 weeks. No, 13 months old. Right. So she was just over a year, which is quite late for some doggies. But for Frenchies, it's not uncommon. So she had her season really late but she didn't start losing her puppy coat until she was like nine months so colby started to get a really dry chest he was really itchy and i assumed because he's got his milk intolerance i was like

oh it's definitely down to his dietary we're getting all these creams all these lotions and potions i'd taken him to the doctors he'd seen seen a dietician. And we'd gone through weeks and weeks and weeks. And like, this isn't just something that we've just decided overnight. It is something that we've thought about for months and months and months. So has he been having the allergies for a long time? Yeah, which we were unbeknownst to.

It took you a while to get to the bottom of what it was. Because she started shedding when she was about eight months. So she's quite a young dog then? Yeah, she was a year in Septemberember so she is still very very little so we have um it all boiled down to and the only thing the doctor said to us is anything changed at home have you had a new pet new laundry detergent i went back to my normal laundry detergent still nothing changed so he was like okay we said about the dogs um and he said okay all i can do is say we keep them

separate for two weeks and we see how colby does so we went through so much how did you keep them separate we had to keep the doggies in the kitchen and the conservatory so they had the run of that bit of the house and then colby had to one wear socks everywhere because his feet were bright red and itching because of her little hairs like when i say it was it's been awful it's been horrendous like an antihistamine yeah yeah it was prescribed an antihistamine so he then went we had to keep him out of everything keep everything fresh

the dogs had to stay off of the towels and try not to transmit everything from the house and then two weeks we saw massive massive improvement so we have spent a lot of time going through a lot of people um in the sense of weeks after it wasn't just an overnight thing where we we just pick one person and that was that to find a new owner you mean to find a new owner yeah and we picked the most

perfect one she's gone to the most beautiful young family who already have a little Frenchie. Who Mabel, as soon as she met the other dog, just instantly fell in love. We talk every single day. The babies get updates. And yeah. Are they sad that she's gone? Are you sad that she's gone?

I am really sad. Yeah, it's really hard because you are so attached to them. And I was really worried about Coco. I was really worried about how Coco... Yeah, because you've had two dogs together the whole time. Yeah, but Coco is doing great. And obviously she's back in the run of the house now. So she's got all the house back to herself,

which is lovely for her because that's what she had before Mabel came. No one's allergic to her? No, she doesn't molt. Yeah, she doesn't molt. And her hair's different and everything's different. And again, we had to do a really slow transition of like colby back in with coco and stuff like that um but yeah she's gone to the most beautiful home and it's a sad a very very sad situation something that's really

been really hard for us to deal with how's the kids taking it obviously it was really sad to start with but the lady has been really kind to give us updates and she sends us videos and stuff and we still talk about her and we got our pictures up in the house and um it's been hard because we've obviously had to talk about it in the sense that it's not we're not getting rid of her because we don't love her it was because of colby's allergies yes we had a choice really the fact that Colby is so much more comfortable yeah it's just such a relief yeah um so yeah that was my secret a little bit of a sad secret this week and hard hard to know how best to approach it and I just kept having nightmares

and I was sweating like how am I going to tell the children like when the day comes and then I just thought oh it'll just go away like Colby would just get better and we tried on multiple occasions to introduce them back in and it just made colby so insanely unwell and it's not fair for him to stay on an antihistamine and it's like well i can't really get rid of the children i was gonna say you you could have got rid of colby i know i know i did chose him i did think about it So yes, she's gone to the most incredible, incredible family. And she is so happy. And I don't know whether it helps

that she's with another little Frenchie. And they're really similar age. They're both the same age in the sense they're both born in the same month. So there's only a couple of weeks between them. I feel like they always know when they see another one of the same breed. They're always like, hey sister. Hey girl. girl yeah but they're getting on great and the ladies

are really sweet the other young girl i call her so you're gonna continue to see her yeah i said i don't you know i it's really hard because one i didn't want her to go to a rehoming center i didn't want that i wanted to be able to know that she's gone to a good home yeah and it wasn't so much i wanted to stay in contact with her i just wanted them to love her like i didn't give her away at a price she went to the home for free i didn't and it was really hard for me because i felt like so many people took advantage of that and so many people were like oh well i'll pay you more than what the person's paying you know i was like it's not about yeah there's no monetary value on this dog like there is no monetary value for me in my heart all i want is for her to go to the best home yeah it was it was a it's been a it's been a really stressful process but i'm glad

we done it the way we did and i'm glad it took as long as it took or however long it took yeah it's just hard it's really hard and it's one i haven't really spoken about on my instagram because i don't know that there's any right way of talking about it's nice to set it out here though because you've got a bit more time to actually explain yourself and people can listen to the whole yeah reason and take it as what it is and i know there's going to be people out there that think what we've done is isn't correct um but unfortunately it was just a situation and i just can't make colby uncomfortable i can't sit him on an antihistamine for the rest of his life the next day to 10 years um i had to do what's best and i

think i've done the best thing i know in my heart like i i know in my heart that i've done the right thing in the sense of we picked the right person yeah and we spent a lot of time talking to her so yeah that is a little bit of a sad secret this week but one that i feel like there's people out there that go through this and i was scared to talk about it and scared to to to to go through these things so if there is anybody if it's only one person you know i don't want anyone to feel ashamed or feel like a failure or feel alone because i've been there i felt that the last three four weeks of the whole process, I felt so awful. Like the worst human in the whole entire world.

Just around my children's life. I'm taking their pet away. Like it's been shit. So shit. But yeah, we're here now. Unavoidable really. Unavoidable. Yes, unfortunately.

So yeah, that is my secret this week. Next, we're going to be hearing some of yours on the Secret Mom Club. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. This is The Secret Mum Club, the safe space for you to share your secrets. And we've got three secrets we're going to be discussing this week. So Emma, I hope they're joyful after my sad one.

So hit us off with number one. Let's find out. Hi Soph and Emma, huge congrats on your pregnancies. Thank you. Thank you. I thought I would give you a little secret from when I fell pregnant a few years back. Oh, crumbs, I thought we were going to have another pregnancy announcement. My husband's best friend moved in with us for a while when he fell on some hard times it was during covid and we had a great time playing board games eating good food he was a chef

so he cooked for us eventually the world started opening up again so he went back to work things started to get a little strained as he was coming and going at all times of the day and night it was at this point i fell pregnant after nine months of trying i had horrific morning sickness and would have to run to the bathroom as soon as i woke up there was one big issue however my husband's friend was coming in at one or two a.m and ordering a huge mcdonald's devouring it and then having a massive poo a few hours later rude what the. What the fuck? The problem was he nearly always forgot to flush as he would have been half asleep.

Oh, God. So there I am. He needs a poo knife. See? He needs a poo knife. Get him. I'm telling you, merch, get him a poo knife. So there I am, sticking my head in the toilet every morning

and being face-to-face with his big gorilla finger poo. Disgusting. Disgusting. Why is one of you not allowed to flush the toilet after you've had a shit? I was fucking one of you. Disgusting. Oh no. Fuck. Luckily he got back on his feet fairly quickly after that. We still love him dearly, but oh my goodness, house guests aren't for everyone, especially when you're pregnant. Still gives me the boke to this day i love that word i love the podcast keep up the good work from shona oh shona when you live in someone else's house he's eating mcdonald's too i know isn't that funny he probably goes and cooks michelin star food at work and then comes home and has a big mac did you did you have any mcdonald's night with him well when you got past the sickness and he was was he still there i would be like get

us a double big mac yeah double big mac it's a quadruple a grand big mac it was the grand wasn't it they took it away do you know when joseph didn't have an appetite someone messaged me dm'd me saying a doctor once told them that a mcdonald's hamburger will make you shoot your pants we'll get no we'll get a child eating again because the salt gets their taste buds going again and then they get their appetite back do you want to know another iconic fact saying to you yeah i don't i prescribe a mcdonald's do you know that they only put a gherkin in a mcdonald's burger because it would be classed as sweet not a savory i've heard that before because there's so much

sugar in them i love the gherkin now do you i used to pick it out i get a pot of pot of gherkins do you uh pickles are my favorite thing but i can't actually eat them pregnant they make me feel violently sick a pot of pickles butter pickles we digress we digress god bless you i i hope thoughts and prayers because i had morning sickness she's still pregnant no this is back this is a few years back but I can totally imagine how that feels because god there's nothing worse

than morning sickness and then being confronted by a massive turd in the toilet as well I wouldn't want to vomit on my own poo I wouldn't do it on my own let alone someone else's

yeah Chris's poos have been really stinky where he's been ill and it's made me feel so sick oh god really puts you off them doesn't it

and you go in to brush your teeth and you're like oh all these poo particles just fly around in here yeah on my toothbrush you know what i just thought where do you keep your toothbrush just on the side in the bathroom so when someone does have a poo in there and all the poop articles in the air goes all over it yeah wow that just come into my head right that second yeah that was raw content right there yeah when you flush that's why you should close the lid so it doesn't go everywhere. Or just jump back out like Free Willy.

That's basically how bad my shits have been. Like, whoa, Free Willy. She's out of the town. Yeah. Oh, Christ, me microphone. Okay. So number two. How apt.

Hello, mums. Firstly, I love you gals so much. Gals. That's like gals. Gals. Like gals then. Batty gals. Gals. Like gals then. Batty gals. We're not batty gals. Big batties.

Firstly, I love you girls so much and I'm obsessed with your podcast. Thank you. It's so refreshing to listen to you both be so open and honest about day-to-day real life. You guys make me belly laugh constantly. My question is, how do you make new friends without looking desperate? Before I was pregnant pregnant i had so many friends however i felt like that quickly changed when i had my two beautiful children i get so jealous of mom friends on social media and i feel like it's so difficult to try and make new mom friends i wish i had a friendship like you two beautiful ladies do lots of love from diana

one our friendship is fake no yeah we're not really friends so if that makes you feel better we only get to see each other once every two weeks yeah we only see each other once a month this month i know i know um it is hard it is really really hard yeah and i always feel like desperate desperate debbie yeah no offense to any debbies um but i yeah i always do feel desperate but i've talked about this a lot before in the sense of that I had loads of friends before I was pregnant and then when I had the baby well I had Colby no one invited and they were like you're not bringing the kid are you but it's hard when your friends don't have babies at the same time as you because the whole dynamic changes yeah they'll have things where

they're like babies aren't invited and you're like well I've got babies now so what do you want me to do what do you want me to do yeah lots of mine friends old friends had them at school oh so they already had they're now grandparents older children yeah yeah so you were the only one that had little little little kids yeah i'm the only one now at 35 who's having a baby yeah and they're all they're not my friends no more they're just acquaintances on my social media their kids must be like 15 or something they're literally having their own children i would say when you're a parent you there's no such thing as desperate like you kind of just have to get over it you kind of just got to go with it and i bet the other mum in the park it feels exactly the same feels the same it probably wants you to go up and ask for a number it's not it feels so weird and unnatural but

it's not weird but i feel like when you've got children in common it's not that weird you kind of just have to be bold enough to be like hi we've got kids the same age do you want to be friends with me yeah and they probably do yeah i think sometimes you just gotta do it yeah but i'm a talker though i know i never feel embarrassed or uncomfortable i would talk to anybody and i know for shy people that's probably yes so so so hard yes and i can understand like my sister me and my sister are both very two different people my sister is the shy one who is painfully shy like she rarely makes eye contact she doesn't like calling people on the phone yeah like she's painfully shy whereas i've always been

the loud yeah outgoing one i'll talk to anybody yeah um and i think sometimes people will gravitate as well towards the loud one yeah you know whereas my sister will always say oh you've got more friends than me and i'm like no people just want to hang out with me because i'm crazy i can't help it i'm so popular well i'm not because i don't have any friends i just have my sister but if you're if you're a shyer person you can see why i'm going to gravitate towards the loudest person in the room because it's going to be easier for me to chat to them but i think sometimes you've got to take it at your own pace yeah because it has to be okay for you as well yeah um i my opening gambit in the park is always like how old are they and then

they're like oh they're two oh yeah he's doing a little bit more than my little boy yeah he's just started walking or he's just started being able to do the slide blah blah blah it's like shit small talk but you're talking about something with someone i don't know i always am that mom that fucking hell look at us again back in the park yeah exactly avoiding the dinner time rush at four o'clock the witching hour you kind of just have to do you kind of just have to do it just try chat i guess you try but don't ever feel bad because social media does portray that people have these great friendships and they they don't there is a lot of us that are on our own it's all bs it is it's the majority of i would say 95 of it's bullshit yeah um but it is something that everybody goes through at some point yeah is this loneliness

yeah oh for sure because also i feel like some people find it a lot quicker after having children some people take a lot longer my mum didn't find it until we were all in secondary school but you you have to like reinvent yourself yeah not only do you have to find your fashion style a year again your whole new body because your body's you've been used to this body for god knows how many years and then you give birth and it changes so not only have you got one get used to your own new skin to get used to like a style of fashion that you like hair makeup your skin might be drier it might sit differently so there's so much for you to go through some people find it quickly some people don't and i feel like when you're in the prime of your life that's when the the right ones will come along yeah and they'll stick around yeah i'm

waiting for mine i'm still waiting they will but they will come i promise you it just is you think about you yeah and be the best version of yourself before anybody and that is with relationships or friendships that be the best version of yourself for someone to love you right i love you i love you yeah i just think you've still got to love your friends haven't you you have i do truly believe you have yeah it's like a whole different love isn't it yeah but do let us know how you're doing don't ever feel alone that you can't talk to us yeah let us know thanks diana thank you diana and then number three the last secret says hi ladies firstly congratulations to you both thanks thank you very much this is a different secret it involves the whole family oh wow my mum has me

and my two younger sisters. And as a single mum, she never had a weekend free to herself. But one weekend, my sisters and I went to my grandparents' house. My mum was enjoying the weekend to herself. And then we came home on the Sunday to get ready for school. My sister and I went upstairs to brush our teeth. But in the sink was a freshly cleaned pink dildo. Wow.

All these women wiping out the dildos. it a suction dildo no no suction on this one just a pink dildo straight straight batteries in it it's a bit unsafe in the sink if it's battery operated fuck me oh freshly cleaned pink dildo my sister not knowing what it was grabs it in excitement and runs downstairs shouting mommy mommy you got us a new toy my mom nan and granddad all stood there in complete shock my granddad took this pink dildo off my four-year-old sister fuck get out i walked out of the room saying absolutely nothing two minutes later he walked back in and said, I've put it under your pillow. To this day, it's a funny story, my family.

Don't forget. Our comeback joke to my mum is, at least my dad hasn't touched my dildo. Lots of love, Anonymous. Oh, my God. Fuck. So was the granddad annoyed? The granddad is the mum's dad.

I know, but was he annoyed? Well, he's obviously... Was he annoyed or was he being funny? Because she's a single woman. Because it seems... Like, he's obviously been respectful of her. But he's grasped your dildo. Yeah.

He's whole girthed that. Taken that to your pillow. She can never use it again it's been touched by her dad yeah your dad i'm dripping your dad what did you do with it and what do you do with your dildos where are we recycling these things where do i'm keeping their dildos one where are you keeping them and two where are they being recycled to i really respect like now what have you just done chucked it in your blue bin and gone fuck the bin men i'll take that away my dad's touched me dildo you could what do you do with it i think they can be recycled

so what do you do with them bury them straight into bury it in the garden And then you just hear, like, a brush. I really respect that she was cleaning it. I don't know how I feel about my dad not saying anything and just grasping my dildo. The way she says, though, he walked out of the room saying absolutely nothing. It's like he was fuming. Right, so as people bought, are we buying these in a shop or are we ordering them online?

I think you can yeah whatever either yeah i've never bought one i'm so intrigued to just buy one like are they are they different size this has been a while two weeks don't leave it in the sink don't leave it in the sink well i don't expect she thought the girls are gonna run upstairs and just wipe out the did he say to the mom i've put it under your pillow yeah i've put it under your pillow like ready for you to use later i've put it under your pillow um oh don't i could never look at my dad ever again no these family secrets kill me i just have to i should try to think if anything's happened like this with my dad i don't

think it has thank god no thank god we haven't been internally examined by our father-in-laws and thank god our dads haven't had their touch our dildos wow i'm lost for words thank you honestly for sharing your secrets this week honestly everyone is welcome at the secret mum club if you want to share your secrets with us you can the email is hello at secretmumpod.com or we're secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Have your parents ever discovered your itchy legs toy? Or have you ever found yourself a bit too close to someone else's poo?

Let us know, please, honestly. There really is nothing too outrageous. And we'll be back on Thursday. It's the new Friday. With more secrets and Correspondence Corner. So we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.