Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Disney Era

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Before Emma heads off on holiday, she drops a delightful secret – she and Joseff have officially entered their Disney era, much to Sophiena's excitement! Meanwhile, there's exciting news as our gallery wall gets some fabulous new additions. And for the first time ever, we dive into a mysterious secret about cryptic pregnancy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello this is a secret mom club i'm safina and i'm emma this podcast is a safe space for moms everywhere a safe space to share our secrets because we all have secrets don't we and as we know sharing is caring you don't even have to tell us who you are you can keep that to yourself you can be anonymous and all those secrets can be serious or silly all secrets are welcome in the secret mom club those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. On sharing is caring, Joseph has started saying that to me, which is ironic because he is the worst sharer in the world.

He hasn't learned sharing yet, but he expects all the other children to share their toys with him. But I went through that. I feel like that's a normal thing though. I went through that with Colby. But the other kids are doing it. And then Dottie, she didn't share. But I went through that. I feel like that's a normal thing though. I went through that with Colby. But the other kids are doing it. And then Dottie,

she didn't share. He doesn't understand turns. You know? Like you take your turn. But that's a big thing though. It's a big thing. Yeah, I just feel like the other kids

are getting it, you know? Yeah, but do they have siblings? Younger. Yeah, younger siblings. It's kind of same as us really.

But yeah, he, I think it's because there's a song on Cocomelon and it says sharing is caring. So he's picked it up from there. Do you know what, right? I actually feel like this is a really, is it controversy?

Controversial? Controversial. What? Say it one more time. Controversial. Controversial. Controversial. Yeah, there we go.

I got that. How controversial is Peppa Pig? Is it? Yeah, because I go. I got there. How controversial is Peppa Pig? Is it? Yeah, because I feel like she's always naughty. We're into Peppa Pig, but she... She's naughty. She talks to her parents like crap. She's a little shit.

Yeah, she is. She is. Do you know what? It dawned on me the other day when I thought, gosh, my goodness, Peppa. Yes. You are one naughty little pig. My goodness, Peppa. My goodness.

And she's horrible to George. She is mean to George. Poor George. We're not supportive. We should be promoting and talking to our siblings. Great. Yeah. And she's not doing that.

No, she's not bigging George up. So, yes. We're going back off of the... Cocomelon. Of not sharing. Cocomelon, yes. There's a Cocomelon song called Sharing is Caring. Oh, it's called the Sharing song.

How does it go called sharing is caring or it's called the sharing how does it go sharing is caring it's um sharing is fun we can all share together it's fun for everyone not joseph not except you and you do what you want except you joseph you do you boo boo i'd say colby picked it up quicker but he was a little bit he struggled a little bit but he picked it up pretty quick dots i mean we went into solidly into year r and we weren't no we're getting it no it's funny how he expects everyone else to like do it but like if he's having like we're around his friends the other day and he was having his turn in the bubble car yes and everyone was allowed one lap around the garden. After his lap, did he get out? No.

Did he fuck? Did he fuck? No. He's taking on that energy, that dotty energy. Yeah, that big BDE, big dotty energy. Yeah. It's the BDE. I mean, that girl has got some big, big dotty energy.

She's got some big energy. She has got big energy. She comes out with the most craziest fucking shit. I've still been writing down all the funny shit that she's had yeah she comes out with some funny stuff but yeah i'll make a book one day it is a tough one yeah sharing sharing is a big lesson but he um he's just cracking me up in general at the moment like the stuff he's coming out with like stefan tried to get him dressed for nursery this morning with some a lovely pair of chino shorts nice my mom got him um shout out to nanny again for buying us basically everything we own always uh when joseph wants something now he goes maybe we can ask nanny because he knows that she buys everything

yeah um and yeah so stephan tried to put in a lovely pair of chino shorts and he went i don't want those shorts they're too smart i just thought where has he learned that saving them for it was such a special occasion accurate sentence and i'm like where does he even learn the word smart they said at nursery the other day when the door went he wasn't like who's that he said who are we expecting who are we expecting today who is one expecting at the door of our residence this morning this morning it just cracks me up i'm like where i haven't said that to him like where is he getting that from i just said this is so funny we we were on facetime because through the holidays we spent our time just facetiming my sister um when we're not with them but i've there was there was once

we facetimed my sister and dotty was like who you on the phone to because obviously we're still trying very much to to read and i was like we're on the phone to jesus colby obviously found it hilariously funny dotty was like no we're not and i was like yeah we are we're calling jesus there that's jesus on the screen she was like no that's you and i was like oh do you not think i look like jesus expecting her to go no she went actually no you mentioned it you do, excuse me, back the fuck up. There is a resemblance actually, now you say. Also, we've had a really awful, and please, I'm trying to, I laugh about it because I try not to make it too much of a serious topic. But we try and talk to the children how serious death is.

And like we try and explain like once you go on and so forth and not to be too like scaremongering. And I said to Dottie, you know, once we're gone, we don't come back and we can't call that person anymore. It sounds really tragic. In the moment, we were having like an open conversation about it. And she went, I said, you know, once we die, that's it. We don't come back and we celebrate that person's life and we're able to visit them and wherever we lay them to rest. And she was like, well, that's not right, is it?

Because Jesus came back. She's right. My fucking uneducated ass. I didn't know what the fuck to say. She was like, he came back. He's reincarnated. I'm like, okay. There's different things like in the Bible. People believe different things. It's such a mind-boggling. He's reincarnated. I'm like, okay. There's different things like in the Bible.

People believe different things. It's just such a mind game. It's so complicated. And I don't ever know what to say. I'm like, she was like, how do you think Easter? What do they say about what's Easter? He came back on Easter, didn't he? Easter is his birthday.

No, born on Christmas, but came back at Easter. Yeah. And I said, what did he do? And Dotsie was like, maybe just come back for some chocolate. We don't know. I'm going to say maybe there wasn wasn't chocolate i'd come back from the dead for some chocolate would you yeah you're one of the savoury kind of guys it was a weird conversation i've never and also like myself they can they can choose their own beliefs when they're bigger but what are you supposed to tell them now like well some people believe that and also some people just believe that was a story yes and we've we And we've had some very fun topics in the school holidays.

We had the situation when we were away on holiday of the, if there's any little people, this is your trigger warning to turn the volume down completely or turn us off and come back to us when there is a space available for you to listen. For like you're getting where I'm going with this. there is a space available for you to listen for like you're getting where i'm going with this so tobias has had like a my nephew's had like a cluster of teeth in his mouth and he was adamant he was like absolutely fucking nowhere they're pulling these out i'll get them out myself so he's been doing like the wriggle of getting the teeth out and he had one more that he needed to get out because he's having his molds done for his braces um and he got one out we were away in the in the manor house all of us together and dotty like the tooth fell out and dotty was like oh my goodness we're gonna have to put it

under your pillow for your tooth for the tooth fairy and tobias in that moment was like the tooth fairy's not gonna not come and give me my pennies and she was just stood there like so engrossed in everything he was saying and he was like yeah so i had to like say to him when she went out the room we still need to go with this yeah roll with it so bless his heart he was like bless him 13 trying to play along with and then she come down in the morning she was like tobias we went to bed and we forgot to put the tooth because we'd stayed up late that night and played Cluedo. And she was like, we forgot to put your tooth under the,

under the pillow. Now your tooth is gone. Like she was so stressed about the teeth. And he was like, we'll be out and go and check my pillow. And you know, when you're like, got to put the money out and just go with it.

And my nephew's like, I could keep the fiver, can't I? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Let's really go along with this. Let's really go along with this.

But it's really funny because we're in a really funny stage of like, we still's really go along with yeah let's really go along with this yeah but it's really funny because we're in a really funny stage of like we still have to go along with yeah now i love the older kids for like keeping it going yeah god bless them and they're so good like the the older two i was saying this morning like the older two i think are very much they're playing the role of going along with it but we got some that are on the cusp i feel like dotty and everly are very much uh colby and everly are very much on the cusp yeah like it's eight nine is yeah it's tampering in and i don't know my 13 year old my 11 year old niece i think she gets it but i think she's very much doesn't want to yeah believe yes she's still very very young

at mind yeah and she loves all the fairy tales and she's very very um very imaginative like she's always been the one of roxanne's to always play like really really good imaginary play yeah she's been like she's the bar we call her the barbie girl because she's played with so yeah the barbies the lols and she keeps it all in pristine condition yeah it's not she just fucking cuts the hair off of our Barbies. Just straight off. I'm making an ugly Barbie to look like you, mum. But I think she thought because she had the short hair.

She was like, oh, I'm going to cut the hair off so ugly Barbie looks like you. Oh, cheers. And I was like, oh, that's a bit mean. She was like, no, because she's got short hair. Ugly Barbie's got short hair and you've got short hair. Right. I thought you meant my you're the old

my face my face but have you had a good week we've had a lovely week in fact we've done some really wholesome activities have you we joined the RHS

I thought you were going to say the RAF I was going to say fucking starting now I'm in the army now I'm a single mum who's got 10 jobs I mean you're just living

just joined the RAF Cash no the R rhs you know what it is royal i can't really say it the royal horticultural society horticultural yes gardening that reminds me of the film doesn't it what film is it from what um is it lock stock and two smoking barrels oh the one you know all the words you're not your average horta fucking culturalist oh there you go yeah it's like the only way i know it well that's me now oh well you're a horter fucking culturalist went to wisley gardens if you are have you ever been there horticulturalist wisley garden is it a horticulturalist a whore whore as in

w-h-o-r-e whore horticulturalist horticulturalist lovely basically average hose it's just a lovely garden that you can like walk around but where all the whores are at where all the hoes are at i'm there's ducks fish lakes gardens house play mazes hose parks beer what more could you want what could you want honestly sounds beautiful but we went for the day so basically we've been wanting to go for ages it's like rhs gardens near us we see the sign to it all the time. We're like, we should go to Wisley. We should go to Wisley.

Stefan finally had a fucking day off. We actually went to Wisley on a sunny day. Beautiful. Lovely. It was so good for the kids, especially Joseph's age. Like soft plate, maze, park. What more could you want? We had a pizza for lunch.

It was fantastic. Phenomenal. Expensive mind. I think we'll be taking a packed lunch next time. Will you? Because those places that's how they're making the money back

they've got you by the balls you know if you come and there were all the expert parents having their picnics under the trees of course

we were at the cafe like the mugs paying £50 for lunch yes you were Stefan's on the Caesar salad the chips the coke I've got a beer

you know it adds up it does add up god how much blood did Stefan eat god he went ham on that fucking day out didn't he he's always like so he's a salad i'll take everything he's always i'm being sensible you know i'm not gonna be i'll take a salad with the side yeah so he always orders a salad with

chips and then i don't know whether you know but he's addicted to diet coke is he so when he's on a health kick i'm like why don't you just drink water for a bit he cannot go a day without drinking diet coke he's like it's not bad for you it's got no calories i'm like stefan it's sweetness isn't it it's a spartan it's also it's a pardon yeah exactly spartan exactly it's worse for you than water a fizzy black liquid that you put into your body is not going to be as good as the h2o he basically thinks it's a health drink right stefan i feel like this we need to get a board here of the stupid things that stefan does i know stefan's list of shit yeah actually it should be the list of things that stefan doesn't do yes that would be longer yeah i think that would not this isn't a hate crime to stefan

he basically walks into it every single week he doesn't help himself doesn't help himself doesn't but i wouldn't say that's a health kick it's not like um no he just thinks it's not bad and i'm like it's not good though is it's not i always think a pop for me is a treat it's a treat you shouldn't be having two a day but i've been brought up to know that a pop's a treat i never even liked fizzy drinks i didn't like them when i was little but now i do if i go out i'll treat myself to a diet coke i must admit i was never into it and then sometimes when he has like an ice cold diet coke on a hot day and i have a sip i do think oh fuck me that's so refreshing like it quenches yeah your thirst and actually it doesn't it doesn't well it's

probably not as good as water but it's just that taste yeah like fizzy cold summertime tang so i had a whole weekend of daddy time which was nice because stephan was actually around we went to a little local market. The fire truck was there. Joseph sat in the fire engine. It was just lovely, wholesome family time. I love when you stumble across a little summer fate as well. Little stalls.

You can't. Selling lovely local produce. There's always a bouncy castle there or something. Ports and cakes. Burger van. Burger van. Had a little dip in the paddling pool when the weather was nice. Yeah, it was really nice. And we've been getting ready to go on our holly you are because

you're off on holiday now we're off on holiday and i've mentioned it to joseph because i wouldn't want to get him excited about it so i've started sowing the seed the problem now is that anytime we go anywhere are we going today he says are we going on holiday i'm like no we're just going to lidl or wherever boring we go and he's like get in the buggy we're going on holiday today i'm like not today i've probably made a mistake yeah totally a bit too soon mentioning it yes but anytime i like pack the nappy bag he's like are we packing to go on holiday he's like can i help you pack what do we need i'm like stand down for another couple of weeks but stand down my servant stand down as you were buy your beds but yeah it's just been it's getting ready for that really

oh beautiful it's been nice i'm gonna miss you i'm not gonna miss you what a bitch shall we you're thinking of me i will often on our coffin on our cocktail i will be thinking i'm just here holding the fort for fucking both of us honestly why emma just goes off on a jolly holiday getting wasted i took four days so that i could be here in this vicinity with her for her to just fuck off and leave me for about a month look but this this isn't going to affect you oh no there'll still be quality content coming your way because we've done all the footwork for it so it seems like emma's i basically made everyone work extra hard for a month so that i could go on holiday not that we're all just but look i've been on holiday for ages i

never go away i haven't been on holiday in 11 years you don't like flights so does it mean i should be begrudged i should be punished i'm planning on driving to spain okay well when you drive to spain i'll meet you there. No. So it'll probably be in 10 years. I'll hold the fort for you. Okay. Appreciate it.

I'll owe you one. But listen, coffee and Prosecco won't be the same without you. I know. Okay. I know you're going to miss me. I know you're going to miss me. But all jokes aside,

I really do hope you have the best, the best fucking time. Thank you. But look, we're doing it while we can all right because when they're in school and all that no one's begrudging you won't be able to so just back the fuck up all right but my week i've basically become an athlete you've been running i have been fucking running on your pad yeah i have nice with my pad also did you love my instagram story did you see the other day everyone messaging me about my cycle because i'm back on my period again oh yeah well yeah you've

been oh back again is it another one yeah my period is back but the our friends over on instagram have been messaging me saying that my cycle is it is a month so it is a month it's between my cycle because you just weren't counting it properly i'm not counting it because i haven't put it into an app or i'll check to calendar yeah and the amount of people that message me to say you're actually due the same time as me and i've come on today so yes it's normal isn't that just commitment to the cause honestly thank god what a bunch of wonderful those people stunners i mean you could have just fucking counted it yourself i could i'm a lazy bitch but um i've got a lot on my plate we were you would tell it us you're basically having like three periods a month but there was a time when i had two back to back yeah yeah but i'm back on now and it's normal maybe you've just like regulated again after

having renly yeah that's normal yeah yeah so i would like to just put that out there that my normal periods are resuming good for you and i'm back in action but yeah i'm now an athlete yeah i ran 5k yes on the daily on on the pad yeah on the pad in the playroom i'm proud of you sweat my tits off i'm proud of me yeah honestly i'm proud of me honestly and i saw your bloody before and after it's another fucking wildest thing in the world you're phenomenal thanks girl i didn't read the comments oh no too scared no yeah i shit my pal i just put it out there and just ran away yeah like you know when you ring somebody and they don't answer and just post and ghost yeah yeah post and ghost yeah just leave just leave them on yeah red um but yeah i've um i've started doing that you look great and i'm we're in the swing of being back in the cycle of school aren't we we're back in the routine now of life yeah how's that

yeah it's going it's it's doing bits yeah busy it's life is busy yeah i feel like i don't really the school holidays is a bit of a i don't feel like we should be calling it holidays no because it's a holiday for the children but the parents it's not really much of a holiday it's been a busy it's been a busy time yeah it's nice to have the routine back though i do i'm a sucker for the structure i do love me a bit of welly in there good old bit of routine and you know what not long until october half term i know start counting down to that one they're always bloody off you wait till you get in the cycle of school it's so fun to do like the six to eight weeks and i feel like it makes the year go really quickly as well because you're always on it's like a little

um block and then you're on to the next thing and then the next thing next thing next thing before you know it you're counting them down I think that's why life passes so fast because you're waiting for the next little holiday break yeah yeah next holiday next we're just like little hamsters on a wheel we really are on the treadmill of life depressive i'm literally on a treadmill you are i'm literally running for my fucking life how are you finding it though um the so i there's some days i think when i when i feel like my body needs a rest or my mind i should say needs a rest i find they're the days i don't enjoy it but i do it because it makes me feel good it does so in turn it makes me feel in my mind amazing but there'll be the odd occasion run where i'm just like oh it's only been five minutes i know just do five minutes i'll get off and then 10 maybe i'll just do 10 minutes and get off but

i push through i push through and make sure that i do i do do my half an hour because you feel so incredible after it don't you yeah so but. But no, I'm taking it. Some days I only do walks. Some days I'll do a run. Just depends how you feel. Just depends how you feel. It's important to have a rest day sometimes as well. You've got to allow your body to.

Listen to your body. But sometimes it's nice because you can get your steps in. Just get your body moving. And you don't have to go anywhere. No. Just watch. I've been watching. What do you do?

Do you watch something? So I found that listening to music is better for me because i when i'm war when i'm running on the treadmill and i'm watching the telly i actually don't get into either i don't get into the run nor do i get into the tv show and then again i'm clock watching so music is my musical i listen to the podcast edits yeah so when i've got an edit to listen to i've been listening to that and that's quite that's quite good yeah i'm enjoying that yeah but if i'm walking then i'll put on um love is blind with emma and matt willis we haven't even spoken about we need maz is like keep this episode tight but we can't we're gonna have to leave we

haven't even spoken about love is blind uk oh you're gonna have to you're gonna have to buckle up and come back for next week so we'll see you next tuesday on that one okay bitches but that is my week really we're trying to just i don't think i'm ready to talk about the first week of school yet so again see you next tuesday for the update on how the first week of school how many times can we say see you next tuesday a lot because it's funny it's never not funny what i find funny is when the children say it do they because colby's football training is on a Tuesday. So he says to everybody, see you next Tuesday. Does he know what it means? No.

No. And it always tickles me. I'm like, yeah, bugger. So Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about,

or just say, hello. You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search Secret Mum Pod. Or you can email us on tiktok and instagram just search secret mum pod or you can email us hello at secret mum pod.com did that without looking did you should fucking know it by now i know we should know we're 100 episodes deep more than more than over two series so it's time for the correspondencerespondence Corner! While Adam holds on to his knob. So Emma,

hit us with number one. All right, this one says, Hello, lovely ladies. Hello. I wrote in a few months ago to share that my husband and I are expecting a baby via surrogacy and I thought I'd give you an update. Shut the back door,

I'm really excited. Our surrogate is still rocking the pregnancy. Go on. She's not a fan of the heat at the minute as it's causing her hands and feet to swell other than that she's doing well she still sends us weekly pictures of the bump and now she's also sending videos where you can see him move oh that's the best oh my god you asked if she has children and yes she does she has two she and her husband never wanted any more kids but she has always had a desire to help

someone like me who is sadly unable to carry a child. She has no genetic link to the baby. It's a perfect mix of me and my husband. We are currently 25 weeks pregnant and at the 20-week scan, we found out that we're having a little boy. Yes. You gave it away because she said it.

Did I say it? Yeah, you did. We can see him moving. She gets with his and see him moving. Oh, yes. So you really are. Did I say it? Yeah, you did. We can see him move in. She gets videos and see him move in. Oh, yes. So you really are listening. I do listen to you.

I give you my undivided attention. Having a little boy, it's all becoming so much more real now and we're in single digits in our countdown. The baby's room is almost finished. The shopping list is getting smaller

and the weeks are flying by. We cannot wait to meet him, give him a massive cuddle and never let him go. Roll on, November.mber i'm so fucking exciting please can you let us know safe arrival into the world i'm so fucking excited for you much love anonymous what a lovely gift what honestly i will never ever not cherish this unbelievable and two children of our own i know thank you so much for letting us be a part of this as well because i think this is such a personal thing to share yeah with the nation and i've never known anybody yeah we're on the bbc going through it but what honestly i feel so privileged that we get to be

a part of it i know how wonderful 25 weeks so they've got i wish i want to say can we see a little picture of him but i feel like that's really really personal of the scam yeah or when he's born or just yeah when he's born we don't have to share it but I would love to see a little sneaky peek like a little selfie or

I would also just like to know the name and the oh yes the weight name and the weight obviously obviously everything obsessed with we know it's a boy already

that he's had his safe arrival but please as many updates as you would like to share with us we would love to we're invested we are so invested yeah like we want to keep and I'm sure there's people that are very invested yes yeah because like i was just going to say i don't know anyone that's done a surrogate before no this is

like my first experience of it i also know loads of people due in november wow october and november yeah you were all having itchy legs at the same time, you dirty buggers. Popular birth month. Popular. Months. Popping month. Wow. Well, thank you very, very much. We appreciate you. We've also had some more art. Have we? For the Secret Mum Club Gallery.

Oh my goodness. Cue the music. All right. This one says, hi ladies. My dinosaur obsessed seven-year-old Charlie has drawn this picture. Oh. Oh! Oh! Charlie!

She says it's a velociraptor. What? It's a flop-ta-raptor. Velop-ta-raptor. Who are you, Velop, in your raptor, you dirty bugger? Is it a bird, a velociraptor? Is it a bird? Why can I not?

No! It's Charlie's velociraptor! It's a velociraptor. Is he a bird? A Velociraptor? Is it a bird? Why can I not? No! Isn't it a bird? It's Charlie's Velociraptor! It's a Velociraptor. Is he a bird? A Velociraptor. I don't know enough about dinosaurs. Do they fly Velociraptors? Adam?

They don't fly. They're not bird ones. This is giving bird. It looks bird-like, doesn't it? It does look bird-like. Yeah. Charlie knows more than us. Charlie.

That's not a shock. I mean, it was clear straight away that it was a dinosaur. So it was very clear that it's a dinosaur. I just didn't know if there was a bird. Pterodactyls, don't they fly? They fly. Yeah. See?

I knew there was a dinosaur that did fly. I've never been a dinosaur mum. Yeah, we're not massively into dinos, even though everything boy-related has dinosaurs on it. How old is Charlie, did you say? He's good, isn't it? So good. With the dark sky as well.

The attention to detail. Look at his eyes. Eyes. He's got a little, looks like a wing, but I think it's an arm. I thought you were going to say willy. I was going to say. Oh, is it, are they buildings? Like he's stomping over the city because it's so big.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well done, Charlie. Go on, Charlie. We love that. We'll get that one up on the wall. His mum, Becky says keep doing what you do beautiful humans oh becky stop it you're a beautiful human you've raised a beautiful human yeah a talented one oh god love his heart all right ready we've also got one from amelia who's 11 and her mom i assume it's her mom says

hi ladies my very talented girl is obsessed with, and whilst testing out her newly gifted felts, she had a go at drawing a realistic watermelon. How summery. Right, are you ready? From Lisa. Right, Lisa. Three, two, one. Fucking Nora!

What the fuck? That's amazing. She's 11? 11. Amelia. Surely not. That's been printed off Google,? 11. Amelia. Surely not. That's been printed off Google, isn't it? That actually looks like a computer generated image.

Doesn't it? It looks like one of those watermelon ice lollies. Do you remember those with the stick? I'm actually blown away. I'm not even joking. That's absolutely phenomenal. It's got shading and shadows and everything. It's even got the ombre.

Yes. Of the rind. Of the rind. Rind. Rind. Rind. I was nearly there. I got you. I got you.

I got you back. I love that. That's amazing. That is phenomenal. That's really good. I love a watermelon. I don't. No.

I've also got some fun fact, Amelia. I've got some watermelon freezing in my freezer, obviously, because there's nowhere else for it to freeze. But we're going to make a sorbet. Oh, nice oh nice with a bit of honey a bit of warm water and we're gonna make our own watermelon sorbet just blitz it up yeah just put it in the old i think watermelon's a bit of a strong flavor like i don't like watermelon flavored stuff either like sweets or watermelon flavored sweets are very artificial but i find watermelon very bland. The pips piss me off. It's like a cucumber. No.

You swallow the pips. No. It's not for me. We're a watermelon house. Are you? Yeah, don't put baby in the corner. Okay.

Joseph calls it water lemon. Does he like watermelon? He just gets the M and the L mixed up which I think is adorable. That is adorable. He doesn't like it but he's got one

in his shopping basket and he says water lemon. That's really cute. That's really good. So good. Thank you, you amelia and charlie and charlie they'll make lovely additions to our gallery wall aren't they yeah how is our wall looking it's looking full it's looking good honestly people are going to start trying to break in the studio for these pieces it's still there i'm joking i can't go over these there's fucking watermelon oh honestly sorry amelia for my language that's really terrible isn't it but that has blown my pants

it's effing watermelon so please keep on sending in your art for our lovely gallery wall or you can get in touch with us on anything at all yeah it can be serious or silly and it can be totally anonymous did you mean to rhyme me then because that was but you liked that yeah you didn't even know it was coming i love crept up in you and bam because between us we've probably heard it all before and remember we're all in this secrets and you know what this week i'm passing the baton because i'm carrying your ass for the next four weeks even though people won't see it i'm doing the load for the two of us i need to do some work so and we've had over a hundred records now and you have never shared your secret yeah and i feel like i was you're sick

of this shit i'm sick sick sick yo shit so i'm passing the baton to you and i want you to share a secret this week okay it's not really it can't be one that we already have heard either okay it's not really a juicy secret but it is something i haven't told you and when it's not really a... Can't be one that we already have heard either. Okay, it's not really a juicy secret, but it is something I haven't told you. And when it's a big change and a big shift that's happened in our lives with Joseph, and whilst it's been happening, I've been thinking in the back of my mind, I can't wait to tell Safina about this. Shut the fuck up. What is this?

I've been thinking Safina will be proud of us. Safina's going to love this. Have you bought a poo knife? Are you chopping your own poo? Not yet. We've started watching Disney. Shut the fuck up. We're in our Disney era.

You and Jojo? Fully. Joseph is in his Disney era. Stop. Fully. Oh my God, can we go to Paris together? Yes. Yes.

Disney. That's what I want to do. I want to do Paris and then I want to do- Should we do a mum pod in Paris? Then I want to do Flo Rida. Florida. Flo Rida. All right. I can't go to Florida. I'll drive. Oh and then I want to do should we do a mum pod in Paris they want to do Flo Rida Florida Flo Rida all right I can't go to Florida I'll drive oh yeah you need to get a boat over don't you we'll do Paris together yeah on the Eurostar right okay so what are we watching okay so he I was like oh he hasn't really got the attention

span for a film we fully watched a full film on Disney plus the other day I just put it on I thought he's probably not going to watch it watch Watch the whole thing. Get the fuck out. What one? Guess. I'm going to say I feel like I want you to have gone with a classic. Yes. It's a classic.

Okay. It's a classic. And you know he loves animals. Yes. Although lots of Disney films are based on animals. Based on but not always like the main characters.

Can we find one in a farm? Yeah. A zoo? I don't think there is a farm one. A zoo? Zoo is close. Right. We can find one in a farm? Yeah. A zoo? I don't think there is a farm one. A zoo? Zoo is close. Right. We can find one in a zoo.

I'm going to go with traditional, what you should really go with your first one. Maybe something that we love. Wasn't one of my faves. What, has this turned into a trivia on your Disney life? I'm going to go Lion King. Close. Damn it. The Jungle Book.

Oh, yeah. I i wanna be like you i wanna walk like you talk like you it's do do do do we do we do honestly the songs are living rent free which is your favorite in my head he actually asks for the bare necessities now which is so cute for the bare necessities the simple bare necessities he's so he's got really into um just watching the youtube clips of the songs as well lovely we haven't always got time he's a musical genius though isn't he he honestly he loves the song it's the cutest thing and i can't get it on camera because he's so wise to the camera now that like he won't perform like he'll actively stop doing something if i get my phone out so you have to be really careful but he under the sea and the bare necessities and i want to be like you i'd say we've listened to the most and i love under the sea so i'm glad that he picked

that one honestly i'm like darling it's the lyrics are like just going round and round in my brain because i've watched it so many times but he has started like quietly singing along to it now because he's getting used to the lyrics and he like dances oh it's honestly you're gonna have to try and record i'm gonna have to try and do it like secretly because it is just so cute and he'll just get the end of the song it'll be like under the sea and he goes let's see because he's like just learning it but it's oh it's so cute oh god it's honestly it's adorable and i'm thrilled about it because obviously i'm utterly who doesn't love a disney song i can't believe you've entered your disney era at 36 and what a fucking time to be living no i've watched some no i know but you've not

really been into it and also i think watching it with children is like magical reliving the magic and you you can watch it so we are obviously massive disney in our house, but Renly is literally obsessed with the television. I'm not, I don't, we don't give him tablets or anything like that, but the TV's on because of the other two. Yeah. So he is very much a TV baby.

He loves the TV. He is utterly, utterly obsessed with elemental to the point where he, Wade cries every single time. Wade cries declaring his dying love for ember renly pisses his pants oh every time on cue he finds it and he barely laughs and you're like no no wade's sad we didn't cry at this bit what am i saying your emotions come on five months old baby but it's it's so to see the magic in their eyes honestly but he was

gripped by jungle book and i was like the old one's not even that good like come on it's from like the 1960s but um but he absolutely loved it i mean he just loves animals i want you to get out the bed knobs and broomsticks well i'm thinking the next one to get him onto is mary poppins yeah don't do lion king it's a bit scary lion king he does like i just can't wait to be king the music video but not the films a bit yeah they've all got a dark element in them haven't they disney films so i feel like you need to be king. The music video. But not the films a bit. Yeah. They've all got a dark element in them, haven't they, Disney films? So I feel like you need to be a little bit selective. I feel like he'd really love Moana. We've been listening to You're Welcome a lot.

Yes. Hey, what's up? You're welcome. But honestly, these songs are just like un poco loco, things I didn't even know about. We've got the soundtrack in the car. Well, so now my most paid on Spotify, top 100 Disney songs.

It's going to ruin my algorithms for the year because we're on that every day it's what a wonderful place to be though i know what a wonderful place i'm happy we've moved on from the paddington theme to be honest because that was driving me fucking crazy although we love paddington we love paddington and we love gary barlow but that song greats on my balls that song ruined my spotify algorithms for one year i don't want to hear it ever again in my existence so that's my kind of secret i appreciate you for that um and i've just been thinking about you a lot i'm so as we enter our new era i'm so excited for this era yeah i need i'm gonna need weekly updates yeah i'm gonna we're gonna have to have like a cinema screening

together yes next premiere you're coming next time disney come to your house i'll get you down I'm going to need weekly updates. Yeah. I'm going to, we're going to have to have like a cinema screening together. Yes. Next premiere, you'll come. Well, next time Disney comes to your house, I'll get you down. Why don't you invite us? A bit of a long way to go. You'll be listening to Disney all the way down in the car.

Yeah. We've been in the car for three hours. Don't worry, we're used to a seven hour car journey with the Lion King on repeat. So now let's get into one of the listeners, because we've done yours. Feels strange not to say mine this week. I know. So we've done yours. Feel strange not to say mine this week. I know.

So we've got three that we're going to be discussing this week. So Emma, do you want to take us away with number one? All right. This says, hello. I have a secret that might be hard to believe. Long story short, I found out I was pregnant when I was already seven months along. Right. These stories fascinate me.

Sorry, what? Seven months along. How did you not know? No. No, period. Hold me. Sorry, what? Seven months along, how did you not know? No period. Hold on. No bump. No, she's found out she's pregnant when she's already seven months pregnant. Yes.

So has she not fallen pregnant again? So is there not another baby in there? No, I found out I was pregnant when I was seven months along. When I was already seven months along. I had no clue at all. No bump, no cravings. Oh, right. Okay, my mind went to she's already seven months pregnant then she falls pregnant again and i don't think you can get

pregnant twice unless you have crazy things happen don't know crazier things i thought you were going to be in the guinness book records of world genius here um not as its twins i don't think seven months seven months pregnant honestly she has no bump no cravings no morning sickness nothing oh i was on the pill the whole time and i didn't have periods anyway okay that answers my question i should have just yeah she should have just read ahead the craziest part is i only took a pregnancy test because i found one while moving house and thought there's no chance let's just take this for fun and bin it well big shock even then i thought i'd be very early on but it wasn't until i went for a scan oh my god

this is so crazy they told me I was already 34 weeks pregnant. So you've got six weeks to get ready, basically. It was a whirlwind to say the least, but now I have my little boy who's nearly two and I can't imagine life without him. I never believed in cryptic pregnancies before. How could someone not know they're pregnant, right? Right. Exactly.

But looking back, I genuinely had no idea or any signs. By the end, though, i did have a big bump so i would have found out eventually love you ladies from amelia wow that blows my mind absolutely phenomenal isn't that insane so insane i always thought these ones were so fascinating if i only had seven six weeks ago yeah until you have the baby i mean at least you haven't got to wait for long i imagine she had nothing all the way to the end and then just went into labor well this is what i was gonna say about like people go i went to go to the toilet and then like a baby just came out i'm like what how could you not have known you were pregnant wild truly but also she was on the

pill not a very good pill yeah what pill was that name and shame that is crazy but now she's got a nearly two year old phenomenal though lovely but i also find the irony of that people if you've never taken a pregnancy test or never had children like when you find a pregnancy test there's been countless times i've stumbled across one i'm like oh i'm just gonna pee on it i've never done that haven't you no i actually really miss, like waiting for the results. Even though I know we're not happy. It's got to be negative. Yeah.

And it's that nervousness of looking at the pregnancy test. Even when you know. Like I feel sad that I'm never going to buy another pregnancy test. You're never going to do that again. I've kept all my old ones. Have you? Yeah, but they're all, Colby's ones are like green and yellow because they're so stained. Oh, yeah.

I won't even look at them again. You can barely read them. I kept all the digital ones thinking that they would always say pregnant they don't they run out of batteries are they i've still got all of mine i've got all these blank pregnancy tests like right this is no use to anybody probably move house and just throw them away chuck it bin it chuck it fuck it what was it check it check it bin it bin it chuck it fuck Yeah. I'll probably do that when I move house. But it's sad that I know I'm never, mine were all really intentional. Like I'm trying for a baby or I think I'm pregnant.

I've never just like done one. Randomly. Willy nilly. I did one sporadically, didn't I? With Renly. Oh yeah. We weren't trying. Because we always knew that we wanted another one after Colby.

But at least you knew like you could get pregnant because you weren't like using protection and stuff. So it was possible. Yes. Whereas like with Amelia, she would have been like, there's no way. There's no way. I'm on the pill. I would love to know other stories of like surprise how you found out you were pregnant.

Because my friend. And I really, really, really want to know somebody that's just given birth without knowing the whole time. Oh, if there's anyone listening who didn't know until the end. Yes. Till they were like, oh my God, I've got terrible gas. I, my friend went for an x-ray and they did like a routine um urine sample because i think they were like we can't x-ray you if there's a chance you might be pregnant she was like no there's no way i am tested her way and they were

like when she went to the x-ray found out they were like oh you're actually pregnant wow what that's wild isn't it i'd love to find out though at seven months pregnant because you wouldn't have too long to wait i'm such i'm so bad at waiting but also then you don't get to enjoy all of the pregnancy i don't know i don't know it's a catch-22 question you skip some of the bad bits i suppose like the early sickness and fatigue and you get some of the nice bits at the end where you can like feel the baby moving so maybe actually it's couldn't she couldn't feel the baby 34 weeks she couldn't even feel the baby moving and that's normally about 20 weeks isn't it um i say early pregnancies probably the first pregnancy is probably about 25 weeks isn't it maybe even longer some people's even longer but crazy oh so you haven't told us how much you weighed or anything

yeah and like full-term baby wow don't i so many questions amelia amazing bless your heart thank you so much for sharing that thank you should we roll into number two yeah this one says hi soph and emma firstly i love the pod and i've listened to every episode stop it what a waste of your time no i'm joking thank you very much i know because emma's here but i'm a bit behind at the minute because i've been busy having a baby. Wowzers. Another one. Another one. I just wanted to ask for some advice on how to get past the anxiety of making sure my baby eats enough. Sometimes he finishes all of his feeds and other times he only drinks half.

He was on a feeding tube for two days after he was born. So I'm terrified he'll go backwards and we'll end up in the hospital again. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Jess from Ellesmere Port. I feel like i've got a few things here yeah this is you've got some experience here yeah one i don't feel like um i can only obviously speak on my own personal i don't know if there's anything technical around it but i always feel like the baby will only ever eat as much as they want or need so that's like if

they wake up in the night and you feed them, I don't ever believe in not feeding them. Do you know what I mean? Like if Renly has a random night where he wakes up at two o'clock, I won't try and settle him to sleep and he's upset. I'll just give him a bottle to make sure that I'm topping him up and keeping his belly full. But I just feel like I don't know how old baby is either to know whether or not.

I'm assuming baby's only having milk and not having dinners yeah um but you could also try little and often redley sometimes gets really really bored on the bottle so if i'm giving him like a six ounce bottle we tend to now do four ounces every three hours because he just prefers little and often yeah and not he doesn't like the feeling i don't think of a full weighted milk on his tummy so he just has little and often and i not he doesn't like the feeling i don't think of a full weighted milk on his tummy so he just has little and often and i feel like he takes more in that respect you find the ounces add up more yeah taking little and often yeah i know it's a bit of a bugger but at least it's peace of mind that you know that they're they are drinking yeah yeah and also monitor just

write down how much he's taken and you'll see if there's a pattern emerging or the next day if it's lesser the next day it might go down it might go up yeah but keep a pattern every day of what he's taken and then obviously monitor his weight as long as he's gaining weight as well yeah and his clothes are like filling out yeah filling out his clothes make sure he's gaining weight so again you can go to weekly way to weigh him every week go to a clinic and a clinic, yeah. And also diapers as long as his nappies are. Yeah, that's the first thing they always ask you if you go to a doctor or anything. Are their nappies still wet? Yeah.

Are they weeing? Are they pooing? I'm sure. I'm sure he's fine. They're just like pernickety. Like Sadie, she's not a bottle fed. Obviously, she's breastfed. But she does have one bottle a night.

Night time. And it varies so much depending on what she'll take that sometimes she'll smash six ounces sometimes i make six ounces and she only does two or three yeah it just like totally depends on the day and even with breastfeeding sometimes she'll be on there for 15 minutes sometimes she'll do 30 seconds and she gets bored i think the pressure is when you're on a bottle it's because you can see how much so sometimes sadie might only the word they say cluster feed and date names take a little and often and i think where we have the pressure of the bottle is to just give them the whole

bottle yeah rather than even if you did little and often he might take four ounces four ounces four ounces but then only take two ounces and not he doesn't need it or doesn't want it yeah and i think that's such a nicer way to feed them yeah because then you know that they're taking exactly what they want basically like on the boob isn't it yeah Sadie will only ever feed us how much she wants I never know how much she's taken no but I assume she's full when she's finished so yeah I think that's a good thing about the good and bad thing about the bottle is the good thing is you always know how many ounces they're taking the bad thing is you feel pressured you can see you feel pressured that you can if you don't empty the whole bottle yeah like it stresses me out if her

she doesn't take her whole nighttime feed because i think oh you're gonna wake up hungry she's not gonna be full all night but there have been nights where she slept for ages only on three ounces it just it totally depends i know i also want to say jess it's perfectly normal would you agree that it's perfectly normal to feel anxious yes even now i'm on my third baby and I get anxious. Yeah. I get anxious if like Renly goes like two weeks without vomiting. And then yesterday he just had a day where he just vomited all day. But that's okay. But that, again, I'm still three babies deep and I still get anxious about those.

I think you're, I always think the anxious is because you care. Yeah. So much. Yeah. But just the normal things, as long as they're happy, gaining weight. Yeah. Wet nappies, soilingiling um yeah maybe try little and often and try not to worry about it too much not to worry yeah it's annoying when you have to waste some of the bottle talking of babies speaking of which she's like did somebody say milk somebody say titties i'm coming all right should we do the last one yes it says It says, hi ladies. I got a call

from my youngest head teacher. He was five at the time while I was at work. She said, I'm calling to discuss inappropriate language with your son. Naturally, I thought he had sworn at someone. She continued, he's been talking about strip joints and boobies. We've explained that this isn't appropriate and we don't want the whole class using the same language. Any idea where this might have come from? My face went bright red. My response was, yes, unfortunately I do. It's from Grand Theft Auto. Fuck.

Okay, if you don't know, Grand Theft Auto, GTA, is an 18 plus computer game involving missions that can include all sorts of things. I was then stuttering trying to explain that my five-year-old doesn't actually play the game. He just drives around and is supervised by us. My husband plays it when the kids aren't around and had apparently shown him how to drive, mentioning not to go to places like the strip joint where men go to see boobies. Oh dad. The head teacher's response was, well, if you could have a chat with him and maybe your husband about appropriate language for school,

that would be great. I was mortified, but also laughing my head off after the call from kirsten i hope she found the funny side of it i hope that teacher sounded like she come across as she was very very serious i will say that colby is saying exactly the same situation at our house colby does the driving around but we've said no guns no killing does chris play gta i don't think i've ever said to colby don't go in the strip joint. People are like, why are they bloody taking their clothes off, weirdos? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think you really need to explain and don't go to the strip joint where men go to see boobies. Was that necessary, Dad? Oh my goodness. How bloody hilarious is that? I can't wait till we get to this age with Joseph because obviously Stefan's a big gamer. Gamer.

He doesn't really play GTA, but he's into like Call of Duty and all of that, which obviously is like. How funny though. Can you imagine him sat in the classroom? Should we hit the strip joint? Yeah. Go see some boobies.

Sorry, what? Dotty would come home and go, never guess what Joseph said at school. It's off to the strip joint. That'll be him when he's watching stefan playing the bloody playstation we're gonna be in all sorts of trouble that's iconic though i think i'd laugh i'd like you got to see the funny side in it yes

yeah but they are only five yeah i'd also be like it's a big face palm from the from the dad and the husband isn't it like i'd put all blame on chris to be honest yeah that's all your fault yeah single-handedly i've got nothing to do to be honest yeah that's all your fault yeah single handedly i've got nothing to do with this yeah yeah it's not my fault no i'd blame stefan like i always do that's brilliant that's hands down i wish that was one of our memories that's phenomenal so at the time dotty called her friend a slut yeah she meant slug that's another episode you can go back oh my god they just come out with the best things they really do so you can go back and listen to it.

Oh my God. They just come out with the best things. They really do. So thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. If you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. Have you had to have a chat about strip clubs and boobies?

Or have you experienced a cryptic pregnancy? Then let us know. There really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode. strip clubs and boobies or have you experienced a cryptic pregnancy then let us know there really is nothing too outrageous keep an eye out for our thursday episode and we'll see you next tuesday on the secret mom club