Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Drop And Run!

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

Nursery drop offs can be absolutely heartbreaking, so Sophiena and Emma are diving into your best tips for making them that little bit easier. From the "drop and run" technique to clever distractions and tiny keepsakes, the ladies share the advice that's helped so many parents through those emotional goodbyes. Plus, one mum discovers what her four-year-old really thinks she does all day... and it's safe to say, it's brutal!Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits, your cheeky one. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend.

Show a jump boni! No, no, no, la. Don't need an ad break. Just use me and Emma. Oh, no, let that hammer throw. Also, dinosaur. Rav. That's where we're at at the moment. Rexy.

Rang, with a dinosaur. We were just talking about what the toddlers are saying because Renli is here today and he just keeps going, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy. Or Chris. Chris. Or Mum, which I quite like.

Mom. Because Colby says Mum, he doesn't really say Mommy anymore. Dottie says Mommy, but Kobe's more mum. All Dotsie's quite a grown-up. So now Renly's like, Mom, what are you doing? Mum, what are you doing? I'm working, son. I'm working.

Get out of here, you crazy cat. Anywho, sorry, it's time for another. Oh, correspondence. Oh, gosh, I left you in dry then, didn't I? Time for another. Correspondence Corner. I did a video yesterday of me singing in the shower. Got some hilarious comments.

What are you singing? Um, Jesse J. Which time. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Why am I doing this to myself? Have you going to sing anything? Losing my mind on the tiny era. I don't know why she talks about a tiny error.

Is it an error to wash her clothes? Does she mean like era? Oh, I thought it was an error like she was losing her mind sat on a tiny error. Or error? Like a mistake. Is that what she means? I don't know. I thought it was losing my mind on a tiny era.

That's better. I nearly left the real me on the shelf. Oh. Yeah. I did. I nearly left the real me on the shelf. I don't know what song that is. No, no, no, no.

A lady also said this, and then she said I clicked back to the original video. I do know the song. I just didn't. What's the chorus? The losing all in the blur of the star. Ian is deceiving. Oh, yeah. Fuck, if you're going to sing anything, that's hard.

It's okay not to be. They tagged Jesse Jay in the videos. No. Chris said, can you imagine she opens this and goes, what the fuck is this? Yeah. I like Jesse Jay. I do too. She's a ledge, isn't she?

What beautiful woman. She's from Essex. All the best people are. That's what they say. This is the correspondence corner now. Sorry, we got way late. In case you didn't know. In case you didn't know.

Correspondence corner. Emma? Yeah. Take it away, honey. Okay, so we had a bunch of replies for Amy. She was struggling with her nursery drop-offs. This one says, hi, ladies. As both a parent and someone who worked in nurseries for 10 years,

I wanted to share a few thoughts. My daughter has gone through similar phases whenever there's been a big change at home, whether that was her baby brother arriving, or more recently getting ready to start school. My biggest piece of advice is the drop and run technique. After a normal goodbye, a cuddle, a kiss and have a lovely day, it's usually best to let the staff take over.

They're brilliant at distracting children, helping them settle once parents have gone. Another thing that can really help is leaving them with a little item of yours to look after, like a hairband, scarf or a small keepsake. It gives them something comforting to hold on to and remind them that you'll be back. We've also found that giving my daughter a little job when she arrives helps enormously, whether it's helping set up an activity or wiping the tables, it gives her a sense of purpose and something else to focus on.

Most importantly, please remember that it is just a phase. When you're in the middle of it, it feels endless and the guilt can be overwhelming, but it won't last forever. You've got this. Lots of love, Joe. Joe, I did laugh for a second then because I can just imagine you just slowly rolling past the school. The drop and run. Open the door and just push about the car.

Somebody did actually message me and say to not say goodbye. Yeah. doesn't say goodbye. She just literally gets to the front of the queue and just takes the, literally the nursery nurse will take the child's hand and she just walks away. Yeah, yeah. Because she said, I feel like I'm always, I think for her, she said, I think my little girl feels like it's like the end. Yes. But when I'm saying goodbye.

So she says, I just don't say goodbye. Sometimes she said I would say, see soon. Yeah. Or, oh, have a good time. Yeah. But she said, I just never said goodbye. Yes. And that's a good one.

because you associate with saying goodbye is like, oh, goodbye. Yeah. And then, yes. So that was a good one, I thought. I agree with that. And I agree with the drop and run as well. Or if I'm like, it seems harsh, but I think it's the best thing. Like if I'm going anywhere like this morning, Stefan's with Sadie.

And I just leave. Because if I say, my mom's going now, or it just makes the whole thing more painful. Really painful. So she'll be distracted playing and then I'll, and in her mind, I'm just gone. Yes. And that's easy for her to deal with. poo. Yeah, exactly.

Because they only live like moment to moment, don't they? So there's no point in having like this long protracted goodbye that she's just going to upset them. But I do that at the nursery as well because she gets a little bit upset sometimes. And honestly, sometimes she's a bit like they don't want to take her and she's a bit sad and stuff. But honestly, I've got dropped Joseph off at school and I'm going to be late. So I'm a bit like, have a nice day.

Yeah. And I just leave. The thing about having something with them, like a little keepsake I quite like. So Joseph does this, which I always think is funny. But I guess in his mind it kind of makes sense. So they're not allowed to have their toys out at school and nursery, but he always likes to take something with him anyway. And we say, are you sure you want to take that?

It might get lost today. Like, you know, be careful with it kind of thing. He's like, no, I'm just going to have it in my bag. So it's a different thing. It could be a different thing every day. Sometimes it's his teddy. Sometimes it's just like a figure or something he's been playing with. But he'd be like, oh, I want to take Pikachu and Charmander today from Pokemon.

Or I want to take the Ninja Turtles today. So we go, okay, put it in your bag, keep it in there, make sure it's safe. And I think he just like, he didn't even get it out. I think he just like knowing that it's there. And then when we pick him up at the end of there, he always like eagerly opens his bag. And he's like, is Michael Andro's still waiting for me, that kind of thing. So I think that's a really good one.

That is a really good one. I like that. But yeah, I do, I even leaving just to go to the shop for five minutes, I don't, I don't leave and say goodbye. I don't the exit. I wait to, I wait to Renner's just completely out of eye shop. Yeah. And then I die out of the door. Disappear.

And then they come back like I've been gone a week in Magaloof. Yeah. I come back and he's like, mommy, welcome back. And I'm like, oh, bless his eyes. He doesn't realize. He's only been gone for five minutes. But the excitement of when, like, these two go to school and we pick them up at the end of the day, he asks for them all day.

And then when he sees him, it's like he hasn't seen him for a week. That's what I mean, they've got no concept of time. But over the weekend, when Stefan's parents were looking after the kids, they're like, they didn't ask for you once. I'm like, that's brilliant. Brilliant. Love that. They were with them for like two days, didn't even ask for us.

And then when we came back, Sadie was like holding my face. Like, oh my God, are you real? Haven't seen you for ages. And your nails. Then I had my nails painted I've done by I painted my nails I never normally paint them They were looking at them

They were going mommy Like touching it like Is it real? What is this? Joseph was like Will it come off? I was like yeah Emma's got her nails painted

She went to a wedding I never paint my nails They literally don't even know What's wrong with your nails? I said to her though She needs to show the children taking it off Yes

I think that's like a magic trick So cool So cool But that is wonderful advice Lovely tips Thank you Joe Thank you so much I love that message

Thank you And I hope that eases some of our mamma's minds because I know there's a lot of mummies out there feeling exactly the same as Amy Amy's feeling and having the same struggle so I hope it does. Help with some other mummers.

We've got another one from Steph in Adelaide. Oh, hello Steph. She also got in touch with us about drop-offs. She says, hi ladies, my son is four and has been at the same nursery since he was 10 months old. Over time, drop-offs definitely improved, but if I'm honest, he still really struggles most mornings. He turned four a month ago

and had the week before his birthday off sick. I was dreading that first drop-off, because his routine are completely changed. As we'd celebrated his birthday while he was at home, I excitedly reminded him to tell his teacher all about it when we arrived. Success. Ever since then, I've given him something new to tell his teacher every morning. It keeps his mind focused on what he's going to say rather than the fact I'm leaving.

Touchwood, every drop-off since has been brilliant. He now blows me kisses and waves goodbye. I hope you find something that works, Amy. Difficult drop-offs really do break your heart. Love you both. That's a good one. That is a really good one. Yeah.

It is hard. It's so hard. And I think the younger they are, the less they are aware, but the older they get, then they start to realize, hold on a minute, she goes. Yeah. I'm left her all day. You think it gets easier because they get used to it. But actually, they just become, yeah.

More aware that you're leaving them. Yeah, more aware that you're leaving them. And it is hard. But it's so beneficial. You know, sometimes it's a choice that is not yours to make. You're going to work and that is the best thing for your family. And that makes then you go into work really difficult, isn't it? Because you're going in there and you're heartbroken because you're like, fuck, I've got to sit on this all day.

And my baby's just cried at me for hours. Yeah. So that I do get that that is. But chances are, it's like Joe said in the previous message, they are fine once you leave. Like they'll often send us like a picture of say if she's been crying. Five minutes later, she's absolutely fine. Yeah. Sitting there getting her hair done.

And I think that's reassuring, isn't it? When they say, oh, they cried for a minute, but then they were okay. That's, that is nice to have that. And then you can relax into your day at work then. Yes. You know, they're fine. But yes, love that stuff. Thank you.

These are so lovely, aren't they? These are really helpful. I love this. Really helpful. And then one last message. It says, hello ladies. I wrote in a few weeks ago about feeling anxious every time I went into maternity triage because of reduced movements. I just wanted to say thank you for your words of wisdom.

We ended up going in a few more times and we were referred for weekly monitoring and an extra scan. During the scan, they discovered our baby has mild hydronephrosis, which is swelling of one or both kidneys caused by a buildup of urine. It affects around one in a hundred pregnancies. Oh my gosh. Because of that, I'll be induced a little early, and we already have a plan in place for when the baby arrives. Thankfully, baby is doing absolutely fine. It's something we never would have known about if we hadn't gone in for reduced movements and had that extra scam. I just wanted to thank you both and hopefully reassure anyone else who's worried about wasting the midwives' time.

Please always go in and get your baby checked. Thanks again, ladies. Love Molly from Essex. Oh, my gosh. How terrifying. I know. That is really, really terrifying, isn't it? God bless your heart.

I hope you're doing okay. And I hope baby's doing wonderful. But this is it. You just never know. You could go in a hundred times and it be nothing. Yeah. And you could go in that one time and it be... And something gets picked up.

And something gets picked up. And wouldn't you rather have gone in all those times? Like, don't make it feel silly for going in lots even if there's nothing wrong because we'll look at Molly. I know. And it's hard. And when you're in it and I've been, you know, you've done it twice. I've done it three times.

And you're in it and you just think, oh, no, I can't go in again. I was only in yesterday. But it has... It's literally your body. but I physically couldn't sleep. I couldn't not sleep. I couldn't get past it. I couldn't get that thought out of my head there.

Right, things aren't right. And it's hard because when you're in pregnancy and people say, oh, the midwife says to you, look, are you feeling movements? Which is normally around first baby is around 28 weeks, isn't it? I thought it was, I thought it depends on, depends on placenta. No, maybe it's like, yeah, maybe it's slightly up. So it's anterior or exterior. So when it gets to first baby, movement, you don't feel to a lot later. Then when I was pregnant with Colby, I had an anterior percenter, so I didn't feel movements until 28 weeks.

But then with Dotty, it was, is it? Posteria? Posteria. Yes, exterior. That would be a percent. That would be bad. Posteria. So I felt everything, every movement.

And I felt her at like, you know, 20 weeks. I felt a really, really early. And again, same with, same with Renley. Felt his really early because my percent was really high at the top. So it all basically depends on that. But when you go in and they say, oh, at 28 weeks, let's just say it, your first gannie, you feel in baby move. And you're like, yes. And then they say, oh, you're going to get used to the pattern.

So if the movements feel different. So I used to be like, should I log this? Should I write it down? They moved when I ate a Mars ball, but they didn't move when I ate a banana. You know, and I got so obsessed with it. I was like, how the fuck am I going to know? Yeah, I remember them saying that and me thinking, there's no patterns. Oh, they'd be like, they move more in the morning or they'd move more at night.

Why was all over the place? And I used to get so fucking stress because I just be like, well, they just move whenever they want to move. But in your head, you'll know that if you've gone like the whole morning and you've had your morning cup of tea and you've had a poo and you've got had your breakfast and you get to like a good four hours and babies, you know, I don't know how long to leave it. But you'll know in your mind that the routine isn't right. But I did get very stressed with that at the start. So trust your body. Listen to you. I promise you you will know what is.

best if anything is untowards, any pain, any tweak, anything, I'd always say get it checked. Yes. Yeah. Because that's what they're there for. Yeah, exactly. And sometimes it's quite nice when you just pop into the day unit. I mean, I love to just. I know more by first names in the day unit.

I just love a bit of extra reassurance. Even with health things in general, not even pregnancy. I just like seeing someone. Because as much as you're in control, you're fully out of control. You can't just peek a little window open and check if they're... I feel like in one time in life there's going to be. a way to look inside there and see. Yeah. And see.

There'll be some 3D glasses or something that can like do a scan or something. Yeah. That's going to be exciting. Let's invent that. All right. Dragon's Dennes. I invented post-its. I invented post-its.

But I love that. That's really wonderful advice. Yes, thank you, Molly. Yeah, thank you so much. So thank you all for sharing your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next, it's time for one of you.

Yes. Secret. Welcome back. We love a secret on the secret mom club. And you are all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got for us today? Okay, this comes from Anonymous. And it says, Hi, ladies.

I've got a little story that still makes me laugh every time I think about it. When I picked my four-year-old up from nursery last week, his key worker was trying so hard not to laugh. She said they'd all been sat in a circle talking about what their moms and dads do during the day. Some children said their mummy is a nurse One said their daddy drives a bus Another said their mum is on her computer

When it got to my son Without missing a beat he proudly announced My mummy sits on the sofa and watches TV For context I work from home full time The only time I sit on the sofa Is for about 20 minutes after... Yeah, all right

I swear the only time I sit on the sofa is for about 20 minutes When I'm having my lunch at home We're about 20 minutes after work while Bluey is on And I try to recover from the day Safe to say I've never looked at his key worker in the eye since Love Anonymous Oh Those kids will do you dirty

They will do that is hilarious That 20 minutes where you all sat on that and Sophie You best believe he's taking that all in What a fabulous job she's got Yeah And he's so proud of her Yeah She sits on the television

She sits on the sofa and watching her TV Can you believe it? She might be a movie reviewer Yeah I feel like I would be good at that job Yeah I'd love to be a movie reviewer You know, people that review video games.

Yeah. I'd like to review films. Yeah, you could. Is that a job? Yes. Is that out there? A movie reviewer? Oh, I want to be one of those.

Basically, people do that on TikTok, though, don't they? I'm instinctively doing it by sharing it on my Instagram. You're doing it on your social media, aren't you? And I love your recent series reviewing the World Cup matches. Oh, people are loving the commentary of the World Cup. Most people message me and say, this is actually better than watching the game. Yeah. I'm actually really enjoying it.

I'm going to mute the commentary on the next one and just let have yours. You should do a live watch along. Shall I? It's like it is it. Also, I did a commentary at Colby's football game the other day. A real one? Yeah. Well, yeah, not showing anyone's children, but I had an ant running up my chest. I'd also mention that I felt like there was an ant in my pants making friends with my hemorrhoids. And then just this ant wiggled up my top.

And somebody was like, I think that ant has just come out of your crack and gone straight up your top. Ants in my pads. So I'd gone from commentary at Colby's football game and then into the World Cup commentary. I'm actually really loving it. Should start charging for these things. Oh, no, I'm loving my commentary era. It's my favourite at the commentary. Yes.

I'm enjoying it. Oh, I'm enjoying it. I'm glad you're loving it. It's not going to stop. Well, it will stop if we obviously get booted out of the World Cup. Well, long may they stay in then. Long may they stay in. It's coming home.

It's coming in. Although, if we're in the knockout rounds already, could they not be out already by the time this comes out? If we could be out. We could be coming home. Coming home. Coming home. Have your children done you dirty at nursery? Then let us know.

You can email us hello at C. secret mumpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum.